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"The most gorgeous family": Tributes flow for slain mother and daughter

<p>Police are continuing their investigation into the tragic deaths of Jennifer Petelczyc and her daughter Gretel, who were shot dead in their own home by a 63-year-old man. </p> <p>The mother and daughter were killed on Friday, when the man was allegedly searching for his ex-partner before he fatally shot the pair in their home at Floreat, north-west of the Perth CBD. </p> <p>Since their tragic deaths, loved ones and members of the community have come out in droves to pay their respects. </p> <p>"They're the most gorgeous family and it's absolutely just heartbreaking that this has happened," said family friend Imogen Harrris.</p> <p>She added the slain mum, 59, and her 18-year-old daughter were the "kindest, most light-hearted, beautiful people".</p> <p>Neighbour Claire Andrews remembered them as people who "always gave back to the community".</p> <p>Jennifer Petelczyc was known to be a caring and generous member of the community, as she installed a $5,000 defibrillator to be installed outside her home for local people to use in a health emergency.</p> <p>According to police, the man who allegedly killed the mother and daughter, Mark Bombara, was a licensed firearms owner who possessed at least 13 guns and took multiple firearms to the Floreat home as he searched for his ex-wife, who detectives say was a friend of Jennifer. </p> <p>It is understood that Bombara’s wife left him weeks ago and had been staying with Ms Petelczyc.</p> <p>Officers confirmed the man's former partner was not at the home but the two women were tragically killed.</p> <p>WA's Premier Roger Cook has described the murders as "chilling and horrific", saying, "This is a circumstance in which a woman has sought refuge from a friend. It would appear that as a result of that, that friend and her daughter have come to harm."</p> <p>"They're innocent people ... simply doing what we'd all want someone to do when we're facing difficult circumstances. By every measure it looks senseless, chilling and absolutely horrific."</p> <p>"I think we need to take the opportunity today ... to reflect on it and think about how we can all continue to make the world a safer place."</p> <p><em>Image credits: 9News</em></p>

Caring

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Mother of the groom slammed for unacceptable wedding outfit

<p dir="ltr">A mother of the groom has been slammed online for wearing a white dress to her son’s wedding: committing a major wedding faux pas. </p> <p dir="ltr">The family photo, which has gone viral, shows the mother wearing “a dress even whiter than the bride’s”, complete with a sheet cape train, a cream hat and corsage. </p> <p dir="ltr">The mum's behaviour was criticised by thousands in a wedding-shaming Facebook group, while others defended the woman, saying she may have had permission for the look beforehand.</p> <p dir="ltr">“Really makes you wonder what in god's name happened with all these mothers-in-law to make them act like their son's wedding is her own wedding,” one person commented.</p> <p dir="ltr">Many claimed the older woman's dress was a clear attempt to upstage the bride, with many saying her outfit was simply unacceptable. </p> <p dir="ltr">“Makes me vomit when I see mothers like this,” a woman said.</p> <p dir="ltr">A second person added, “The cape, the gown, the fascinator... oh, my god. It would have been over the top, but fine if in any other colour. I hope to be as patient as this bride one day.”</p> <p dir="ltr">“I cannot imagine doing this to any woman who decides to marry my son. Like, hon, I of all people know how difficult he can be to live with, may the old gods and the new bless you for your sacrifice,” another joked.</p> <p dir="ltr">“I'm 99 percent sure this wasn't bride-approved as it's white and the bride's dress is ever so slightly off-white. And the bride looks perfect!” a fourth added.</p> <p dir="ltr">A few even claimed someone should have “accidentally” spilled a glass of red wine on the mother's dress.</p> <p dir="ltr">“No way she should have made it to the pictures without someone spilling [wine]. That poor girl,” a woman said.</p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Image credits: Facebook</em></p>

Beauty & Style

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"Best part of my life": Terri Irwin's moving Mother's Day post

<p>Terri Irwin has celebrated Mother's Day by reflecting on being a single parent to Bindi and Robert. </p> <p>Irwin called motherhood the “best part of my life,” writing that it had given her “purpose” after Steve's untimely death in 2006. </p> <p>The 59-year-old shared a series of photos with her two children, Bindi and Robert, who are now 25 and 20 years old.</p> <p>“Being a mum is the best part of my life,” she said on Instagram.</p> <p>“When Steve passed, it was not a burden being a single mum, it was actually my children that gave me purpose, courage, and happiness every day.”</p> <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/C65S8q7rqmr/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/C65S8q7rqmr/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by Terri Irwin (@terriirwincrikey)</a></p> </div> </blockquote> <p>“Bindi and Robert are the reason I can stand strong, meet every challenge, and embrace every adventure.</p> <p>“As a mother, I am truly blessed.”</p> <p>Bindi responded to the post, “I love these beautiful photos and memories. Thank you for ALWAYS being there for me and Robert. And now for Grace. It means more than I can possibly describe. I love you.”</p> <p>“Love you mum!” Robert wrote.</p> <p>Bindi also celebrated Mother's Day by posting her own tribute to her mum, posting a throwback picture and writing, "Happy Mother’s Day to this amazing woman. My mum. Her commitment to conservation and making the world a better place inspires me every day. I love you."</p> <p>The young wildlife warrior also shared a photo of her daughter Grace on the special day, paying tribute to the child who made her a mum. </p> <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/C64Mo3Hve1M/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/C64Mo3Hve1M/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by Bindi Irwin (@bindisueirwin)</a></p> </div> </blockquote> <p>Bindi shared a series of photos with her daughter, writing, "Grace Warrior, when I look at you, I know the meaning of life."</p> <p>"Being your Mama is the best part of my existence."</p> <p class="css-1n6q21n-StyledParagraph e4e0a020" style="box-sizing: border-box; overflow-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-word; margin: 0px 0px 1.125rem; line-height: 25px;"><em>Image credits: Instagram </em></p>

Family & Pets

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Don’t give mum chocolates for Mother’s Day. Take on more housework, share the mental load and advocate for equality instead

<div class="theconversation-article-body"><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/leah-ruppanner-106371">Leah Ruppanner</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/the-university-of-melbourne-722">The University of Melbourne</a></em></p> <p>With Mother’s Day right around the corner, many grateful and loving families are thinking about what to give mum to show their appreciation.</p> <p>Should you give her chocolate? Nope. Fancy soaps? Nope. Fuzzy slippers, pyjamas, scented candles? No, no and no.</p> <p>On this Mother’s Day, keep your cash and give your wonderful mother gifts that will actually have a long-term impact on her health and well-being.</p> <h2>1. Do a chore that mum hates and hold onto it … forever</h2> <p>Research <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/13545701.2020.1831039">shows</a> men have increased the amount of time spent on housework and childcare and that mothers, over time, are doing less (hooray!).</p> <p>But, women <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/j.1741-3737.2008.00479.x">still do more housework</a> than men, especially when <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/gwao.12497?fbclid=IwAR2dp04p2sFqbDqdehXmXgDSfTYwX3GRzP7ScMJhSOrMePTGQVErR2TTX88">kids are in the home</a>.</p> <p>Further, <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0891243205285212">men tend to pick up the more desirable tasks</a>, like <a href="https://www.jstor.org/stable/3598304">cooking and playing with the kids</a>, leaving mothers to do the less pleasurable chores (think cleaning toilets and clearing out fridges).</p> <p>The chore divide in same-sex relationships is generally found to be more equal, but some critique suggests equality may suffer <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2018/05/16/upshot/same-sex-couples-divide-chores-much-more-evenly-until-they-become-parents.html">once kids are involved</a>.</p> <p>This year give your mum (or mums) the gift of equal housework and childcare sharing – start by taking the most-hated tasks and then hold onto them… forever.</p> <p><a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/gwao.12727">Research</a> shows housework inequality is bad for women’s mental health. Undervaluing women’s housework and unequal sharing of the chores deteriorates <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s11199-022-01282-5">relationship quality</a>, and <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/0038038516674664">leads to divorce</a>.</p> <p>Housework and childcare take up valuable time to keep the family happy, harmonious and thriving, often at the expense of mum’s health and well-being.</p> <p>So, skip the chocolates and show mum love by doing the worst, most drudgerous and constant household chores (hello, cleaning mouldy showers!) and keep doing these… forever.</p> <h2>2. Initiate a mental unload</h2> <p>The <a href="https://www.abc.net.au/news/health/2017-09-14/the-mental-load-and-what-to-do-about-it/8942032">mental load</a> is all of the planning, organising and management work necessary to keep the family running.</p> <p>The mental load is often perceived as list making or allocating tasks to family members.</p> <p>But, it’s so much more – it is the <a href="https://theconversation.com/planning-stress-and-worry-put-the-mental-load-on-mothers-will-2022-be-the-year-they-share-the-burden-172599">emotional work</a> that goes with this thinking work.</p> <p>The mental load is the worry work that never ends and can be done <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/13668803.2021.2002813">anywhere, anytime and with anyone</a> (in, for example, said mouldy shower).</p> <p>Because the mental load is performed inside our heads, it is invisible. That means we don’t know when we or others are performing this labour unless we really tune in.</p> <p>In fact, it is often when we tune in through quiet time, relaxation or meditation that the mental load rears its ugly head. Suddenly you remind yourself to buy oranges for the weekend soccer game, organise a family movie night and don’t forget to check in on nanna.</p> <p>Women in heterosexual relationships are <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0003122419859007">shown to do more</a> of the mental load with serious consequences for their mental health. But we don’t have a comprehensive measurement of how much women do it nor how it is allocated in same-sex couples.</p> <p>So, on this mothers’ day spend some time talking about, cataloguing, and equalising the family’s mental load.</p> <p>This isn’t just making a list about what has to be done but also understanding <a href="https://www.abc.net.au/news/health/2017-09-14/the-mental-load-and-what-to-do-about-it/8942032">how the mental load</a> connects to the emotional health of the family, and the person carrying this <a href="https://www.newamerica.org/better-life-lab/blog/making-the-mental-load-visible/">invisible labour, worry and stress</a>.</p> <h2>3. Speak up for your mum and all caregivers</h2> <p>Families alone cannot bear the brunt of the caregiving necessary to keep us thriving.</p> <p>Governments, workplaces and local communities also play a critical role. For this mothers’ day, pick an issue impacting mothers (for example, equal pay, affordable childcare or paid family leave) and do one thing to help move the needle.</p> <p>Write a letter to your boss, your local MP, or donate money to an advocacy organisation advancing gender equality.</p> <p>Or, role model these behaviours yourself – normalise caregiving as a critical piece of being an effective worker, create policies and practices that support junior staff to care for themselves, their families and their communities and use these policies.</p> <p><a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0891243216649946">Research</a> shows men want to be equal carers and sharers but often fear what taking time off for caregiving will signal to their employer despite evidence that fathers who request flexible work are perceived more <a href="https://academic.oup.com/sf/article-abstract/94/4/1567/2461609?login=false">favourably</a>.</p> <p>Appearing to be singularly devoted to work was shown to be impossible during the pandemic with kids, spouses, partners, and pets home all day long.</p> <p>Learning to create more care-inclusive workplaces and communities is critical.</p> <p>Paid parental leave, affordable and accessible high-quality childcare, flexibility in how, when and where we work and greater investments in paid sick leave, long-term disability support and aged care are just a few policies that would strengthen the care safety net.</p> <p>We will all be called upon to care at some point in our lives – let’s create the environments that support caregiving for all, not just mum.<!-- Below is The Conversation's page counter tag. Please DO NOT REMOVE. --><img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/182330/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /><!-- End of code. If you don't see any code above, please get new code from the Advanced tab after you click the republish button. The page counter does not collect any personal data. More info: https://theconversation.com/republishing-guidelines --></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/leah-ruppanner-106371">Leah Ruppanner</a>, Professor of Sociology and Founding Director of The Future of Work Lab, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/the-university-of-melbourne-722">The University of Melbourne</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images </em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/dont-give-mum-chocolates-for-mothers-day-take-on-more-housework-share-the-mental-load-and-advocate-for-equality-instead-182330">original article</a>.</em></p> </div>

Family & Pets

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"An insult to human dignity": Mother of Bondi stabbing victim hits out at the media

<p>The mother of Bondi stabbing victim Jade Young has hit out at how social media and major news outlets reported on her daughter's death. </p> <p>Jade Young, 47, was one of six people fatally stabbed by Joel Cauchi during his violent rampage at Bondi Junction Westfield on April 13th. </p> <p>Following the tragedy, graphic videos and images of the attacks were circulated online.</p> <p>Now, Jade's mother Elizabeth Young, writing in the <a href="https://www.smh.com.au/national/nsw/my-daughter-was-killed-in-the-bondi-junction-attack-how-my-family-found-out-is-shameful-20240429-p5fnbw.html" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Sydney Morning Herald</a> on Wednesday, said it was “shameful” how her family found out about Jade’s death.</p> <p>“Members of my family recognised Jade and her husband Noel in uncensored vision being played on a mainstream TV news feed, with vision of Jade lying on the ground at the shopping centre, receiving CPR,” she wrote.</p> <p>“The vision, shared on social media and picked up — and used by — multiple news media programs shared my daughter’s final moments with millions. Finding out that a loved one has been murdered is a horror that I do not wish on anyone. But seeing the vision of their last moments and knowing it has been broadcast to millions of people is an appalling breach of privacy and an insult to human dignity.”</p> <p>Ms Young went on to say how some of the major media organisations that shared violent images of the Bondi stabbing “approached our family within hours of the attack, offering their condolences … and the opportunity to share our family’s story”.</p> <p>“These same media organisations reported the failure of a certain popular social media platform to take down videos, without acknowledging their own complicity,” she said.</p> <p>“I am not surprised at their hypocrisy, but I am angry.”</p> <p>“Sharing violent images or personal material from the lives of victims of crime is not free speech — it is enormously profitable for some but it’s speech with a steep price for the victims,” she said.</p> <p>“Those who run social media platforms are remote from the pain inflicted by their uploads and the dystopia they have helped create. It is the victims who bear the cost.”</p> <p>Last week, hundreds of mourners attended a public memorial for Ms Young, an acclaimed architect and mother-of-two, where mourners were encouraged to wear colourful clothing “in memory of Jade”.</p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images / Facebook </em></p>

Family & Pets

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"Never again": Bondi stabbing victim’s mother shares heartbreaking plea

<p>The tragic events of April 13th at Westfield Bondi Junction shook the nation to its core. Among the victims of this senseless act was Jade Young, a 47-year-old architect, described by her mother Elizabeth as "glorious" and "hardworking". Her life was abruptly taken while shopping for a birthday present with her daughter. </p> <p>At a memorial service held in Sydney’s Botanic Gardens, hundreds gathered to pay their respects to Jade. At the request of Jade's heart-broken mother, Elizabeth, mourners adorned themselves in bright colours, a vibrant tribute to a woman described as "dearly loved and irreplaceable".</p> <p>Elizabeth's words cut through the sombre air, pleading for attention not only to her daughter's memory but to the pressing issues that led to her untimely demise.</p> <p>“I would like you to listen, I want Australia to listen,” Elizabeth said. “Jade Young was attacked and killed outright in front of her daughter.”</p> <p>As part of her tribute, Elizabeth then made a poignant call for action. “Never again do I want to read the words tragic or tragedy associated with the perpetrator of the murder of my daughter,” she said. “He came prepared, he had intention. He was a killer ... making a shopping centre the most dangerous place on earth for Jade.</p> <p>“I want Jade’s girls to grow up believing there is security, goodness and love in the world. I want politicians both federal and state to address the gaps in mental health care to make it a safer for our girls and all Australians.”</p> <p>It's a wish echoed by countless families who have been touched by tragedy and who long for a safer, more compassionate society.</p> <p>The outpouring of support following Jade's passing speaks volumes about the impact she had on those around her. Her colleagues at Georgina Wilson Associates, where she dedicated over a decade of her life, shared heartfelt messages of grief and disbelief. "Jade was family," they wrote, a sentiment that resonates with all who had the privilege of knowing her.</p> <p>In the wake of this tragedy, the generosity of strangers has shone brightly, with over $235,000 donated to support Jade Young's husband and daughters. It's a testament to the kindness and compassion that exist within our communities, a glimmer of hope in the face of darkness.</p> <p><em>Images: GoFundMe</em></p>

Family & Pets

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Woman baffled by mother-in-law’s insane ask over baby name

<p dir="ltr">A woman has gone head-to-head with her mother-in-law over the name she has chosen for her unborn child. </p> <p dir="ltr">The pregnant woman took to Reddit to share her unusual predicament, explaining how her mother-in-law has demanded she change the name of her baby. </p> <p dir="ltr">The soon-to-be mum shared how she recently had dinner with her husband’s family, where she decided to reveal the baby’s gender and name. </p> <p dir="ltr">She had been keeping the information secret, but with only a few weeks of her pregnancy left, she decided to share the happy news that she was having a baby boy and had chosen the name Shawn for her son. </p> <p dir="ltr">But not everyone shared her happiness over the moniker, as her mother-in-law went pale with shock and demanded she choose a new name. </p> <p dir="ltr">“My in-laws got quiet for a moment before asking if there were other options we'd considered. Apparently, Shawn is the name of my 17-year-old sister-in-law Ashley's former bully who tormented her [for years],” the pregnant woman explained on Reddit.</p> <p dir="ltr">While she empathised with her in-laws, she didn’t want to change the name as it was the only one her and her husband agreed on for their son. </p> <p dir="ltr">She also explained that she hadn’t known about the family connection when they picked the name, and hadn’t picked it out of any malicious intent. </p> <p dir="ltr">“We took forever to pick a name,” she said. “Shawn is the only one we could agree on.”</p> <p dir="ltr">The dinner party soon ended after the argument began, but the mother-in-law didn’t back down, sending the expecting mum demanding messages.</p> <p dir="ltr">“She texted me and my husband again to ask us to find a new name for Ashley's sake.”</p> <p dir="ltr">“Would I be the a**hole for not wanting to change it? We were only able to agree on it a few weeks ago.”</p> <p dir="ltr"> Commenters were torn over the subject, with many rushing to the pregnant woman’s defence, saying she can pick whatever name she wants for her son. </p> <p dir="ltr">“My spouse and sibling have the same name. Somehow, you just compartmentalise it,” one shared.</p> <p dir="ltr">“I feel like if a new baby in my family shared a name with my bully I'd just adapt,” another wrote. “After all, Shawn is a VERY common name, so I can't freak out every time I hear it and survive in this world.”</p> <p dir="ltr">However, a select few sided with the mother-in-law, sharing how stunned they were that the couple couldn't find enough compassion to pick another name.</p> <p dir="ltr">One person said, “I understand the difficulty of finding a name that feels right, but for me, after learning this, Shawn would quickly become another name that didn't work. It's only been decided on it for a few weeks so I'd just go back to the drawing board.”</p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Image credits: Shutterstock</em></p>

Family & Pets

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Mother booted off ride share app for her unusual name

<p>A young Sydney mother has been booted off popular ride sharing app Uber, after they deemed her birth name too inappropriate. </p> <p>Swastika Chandra's first name means good luck and prosperity in her native Sanskrit language, and holds a lot of cultural significance and connection to her Hindu heritage. </p> <p>However, to global transport app Uber, her name was deemed too offensive to be let on the platform, as they said her name violates their terms and conditions. </p> <p>The 35-year-old grew up in Fiji, where she says her name was commonly heard in classrooms throughout her childhood.</p> <p>"It is a very common name. I personally know four or five other girls with the same name," she told <a href="https://9now.nine.com.au/a-current-affair/uber-bans-sydney-woman-from-using-service-because-of-her-first-name/2771dd1f-b9fd-4ba6-8045-671145bc0c02" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><em>A Current Affair</em></a>. </p> <p>"In school, we had two or three other girls with the same name. It means good luck. It means good things for me."</p> <p>Chandra didn't run into any issues using her name on her birth certificate, Australian citizenship paperwork, her health care card or her driver's licence. </p> <p>However, last October Uber banned her account, claiming her name was a violation of their terms of use due to its appropriation by Adolf Hitler's Nazi Party and neo-Nazis.</p> <p>Coinciding with the start of the Israel-Hamas war, Uber brought in new guidelines on words that could be offensive - including swastika.</p> <p>Inadvertently caught up in the middle of a policy which had the best of intentions, Chandra was told she would have to change her name to get back on the app.</p> <p>"I was putting in an order for food one afternoon and went to the payment stage and this pop-up came up saying, 'Your first name is in violation and you need to change your name on the app'," she explained.</p> <p>Chandra has a deep understanding of her name's very troubling double meaning, but she says the community needs to know the word's origins.</p> <p>"They don't know that the Hindus used it for thousands of years before Hitler used it in the wrong way," she said.</p> <p>"A bit of education, I think, is needed. I'm very proud of my name. I believe in the good that comes with it and I'm not changing it for anyone."</p> <p>Five months later, Uber has backed down from their decision and allowed her to rejoin the app, although it took intervention from Australia's peak Hindu body, The Hindu Council, support from the Jewish community and the NSW attorney-general to make it happen. </p> <p>The Jewish Board of Deputies also backed Chandra's fight, telling A Current Affair: "There is a difference between Ms Chandra innocently using her name and the deployment of a sinister symbol."</p> <p>The young mum has a message for all the other young girls who might have a different name to others, saying "Don't let the past be a stepping stone for your future."</p> <p>"Be proud of your name. It's your identity - it's who you are."</p> <p><em>Image credits: A Current Affair </em></p>

Legal

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Give the gift of sustainable luxury this Mother’s Day

<p dir="ltr">With Mother’s Day around the corner, it’s time to celebrate the most important women in our lives with affordable luxury that doesn’t cost the earth. </p> <p dir="ltr">To spoil the mums in your life this year, discover the ideal gift to honour and celebrate your most treasured moments together with L’Occitane’s limited edition Mother’s Day collections. </p> <p dir="ltr">You can feel good about gifting these organic and sustainably sourced products to your loved ones, as L’Occitane have created these little luxuries while  respecting and caring for everything the ground grows for us and beyond. </p> <p dir="ltr">By sourcing fair-trade and organic shea butter from women’s collectives in Burkina Faso and recently in Ghana, L’Occitane are dedicated to helping the local ecosystem and supporting the community. </p> <p dir="ltr">The L’Occitane group celebrates the official B Corp certification, demonstrating that as a business, they’re not just about beauty; they believe in Cultivating Change to create a fairer, more equitable and regenerative planet.</p> <p dir="ltr">This Mother’s Day, L’Occitane has something for everyone, with gift packs available for every budget, ranging from just $34 to the ultimate gift set priced at $280. </p> <p dir="ltr">From hand creams, body lotions and washes, to fragrances and luxury skin care, these limited edition gifting packs have exactly what you need to give the gift of indulgence this Mother’s Day. </p> <p dir="ltr">L’Occitane presents a superb range that embodies the essence of gratitude, showing appreciation through thoughtfully selected gifts that not only pamper, but also reflect a commitment to sustainable practices. </p> <p dir="ltr">It’s more than a gift; it’s a gesture that acknowledges the importance of those who have shaped our lives.</p> <p dir="ltr">L’Occitane’s Mother’s Day collection is available now both <a href="https://au.loccitane.com/mothers-day.html">online</a> and in-store. </p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Image credits: Supplied / Getty Images</em></p>

Beauty & Style

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Daughter's incredible gesture surprises her cancer-stricken mother

<p>A brave mother fighting cancer has burst into tears at her daughter's amazing display of solidarity, as her mum continues to battle through chemotherapy. </p> <p>Tracy Mulcahy has been fighting a devastating diagnosis of stage four high-grade ovarian cancer and had started to lose her hair after relentless chemo treatment. </p> <p>Tracy and her daughter Sophie headed to their local hairdressers, where they have become like family after seven years, where Sophie was given the task of shaving her mum's head. </p> <p>To everyone's surprise, Sophie was handed the razor and decided to shave off her own long blonde hair in an emotional display of solitary and strength.</p> <p>Both women burst into tears and held one another, while there was not a dry eye in the salon from other clients and hairdressers. </p> <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/reel/C4h63b2rZYX/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/reel/C4h63b2rZYX/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by ⚡️SOUTH WEST BLONDE SPECIALIST ⚡️ (@bambiblonde__)</a></p> </div> </blockquote> <p>The heartwarming moment was captured by the Bambi Blonde salon and posted to their Instagram, where the post racked up hundreds of thousands of likes and comments of support from all over the world.</p> <p>"The whole salon was in tears," owner Claire Lovett said.</p> <p>Sophie has since revealed she decided to do it because she didn't want her mother to "go through this alone".</p> <p>"She means the absolute world to me. She's done everything she could to help me with any issues I've had in the past," Sophie told the Hit WA radio station.</p> <p>Tracy said her daughter's decision was "just insane", saying, "I saw her do it, and I'm like, no, please don't, please don't do this. I don't want you to go through what I'm going through."</p> <p>"I think when I sat down in that hairdresser's chair and prepared myself for the day, but when you actually sit in that chair and normally go to the hairdressers, it's obviously a positive experience." </p> <p>"And then to have to look in and see that there wasn't a lot of hair left at that point. And to see Sophie do that and sacrifice her own hair for me, it was just insane."</p> <p>The family have set up a <a href="https://www.gofundme.com/f/tracys-battle-stage-4-high-grade-ovarian-cancer?utm_campaign=p_cp+fundraiser-sidebar&amp;utm_medium=copy_link_all&amp;utm_source=customer" target="_blank" rel="noopener">GoFundMe</a> page to help with the costs of Tracy's treatment. </p> <p><em>Image credits: Instagram / GoFundMe</em></p>

Caring

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Jesse Baird's mother farewells her son in emotional memorial service

<p>Slain TV presenter Jesse Baird has been farewelled by his loved ones at an emotional memorial service in Melbourne, one month after he was killed alongside his partner. </p> <p>Hundreds of friends and family packed into Melbourne’s Plenty Ranges Arts and Convention Centre, all donning bright colours to remember the 26-year-old.</p> <p>Baird's mother Helen spoke about her "darling boy" in a tear-jerking tribute, saying, “My beautiful, generous, loving, precious, caring and talented boy, our hearts and lives are changed forever,”</p> <p>“I promise to fight for you and make you proud. My heart is broken my darling boy, and I love you more than this world."</p> <p>"Our hearts and lives are changed forever and there is less sparkle in the world. There will never be another you."</p> <p>Jesse's father Gary added, “You squeezed 100 years of life into 26 and our hearts are broken. You’ll be missed but never forgotten.” </p> <p>Kourtnee, Jesse's sister, battled through floods of tears to farewell her brother, saying, "You are the absolute light of my life. My biggest inspiration and my biggest cheerleader."</p> <p>Jesse's <em>Studio 10</em> colleagues were also in attendance, with co-host Daniel Doody saying that Baird "was more than a co-worker, he was a brother, a best mate."</p> <p>"Just like all your live on-air appearances, I wish there was more time."</p> <p>Balloons spelling out Baird’s name adorned the convention centre’s stage alongside photos of him smiling at different stages in his life.</p> <p>After the service, the large crowd gathered outside to blow a flurry of bubbles.</p> <p><em>Image credits: 7News</em></p>

Family & Pets

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"Find that car": Mother of fallen young lawyer speaks out

<p>Mitch East, a vibrant 28-year-old lawyer from New Zealand, lost his life on Sunday in an alleged hit-and-run accident that has sparked a desperate plea from his grieving mother and a heartfelt outcry from those who knew him.</p> <p>Debra East, now in Sydney to grapple with the unimaginable loss of her only child, stood on the roadside where Mitch's life was abruptly taken away. In an emotional <a href="https://7news.com.au/news/find-that-car-mother-of-lawyer-mitch-east-killed-in-sydney-hit-and-run-shares-desperate-plea-as-tributes-flow-c-14013341" target="_blank" rel="noopener">interview with 7NEWS</a>, she expressed her shattered state, saying, "I'm broken. He was my only child... I died too, on Sunday, with him."</p> <p>The pain of a mother losing her child in such a sudden and senseless manner is unfathomable, and her plea to find the perpetrator echoes through the community.</p> <p>Mitch's untimely demise occurred as he stepped out of an Uber onto Fletcher St, just metres away from his home, in the early hours of the morning. It is believed that he was <a href="https://www.oversixty.com.au/finance/legal/police-investigate-after-young-lawyer-killed-in-cowardly-act" target="_blank" rel="noopener">struck by a car</a>, leaving him with critical injuries that tragically proved fatal. Despite the efforts of emergency responders, Mitch passed away at the scene.</p> <p>The circumstances surrounding Mitch's death point to a hit-and-run incident, with CCTV footage capturing <a href="https://www.oversixty.com.au/finance/legal/police-investigate-after-young-lawyer-killed-in-cowardly-act" target="_blank" rel="noopener">a white Subaru</a> driving on the street shortly after the accident.</p> <p>Debra East, grappling with grief and disbelief, voiced her anguish, questioning how the driver could have failed to see her son and pleading for assistance in locating the vehicle.</p> <p>“I got up early hours of the morning today and stood on the side of the road to try to understand how they couldn’t have seen him as they were driving up," she said. “I just need you to help the police find that car. Not that it will bring him back to me.”</p> <p>NSW Police Inspector Josh Hogan condemned the act as cowardly, urging the driver to come forward and take responsibility for their actions.</p> <p>Anyone with information about the death is urged to contact Crime Stoppers on 1800 333 000.</p> <p><em>Images: GoFundMe | NSW Police</em></p>

Family & Pets

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Luke Davies' mother breaks silence

<p>In the wake of unimaginable tragedy, the loss of Luke Davies and Jesse Baird has left a void in the lives of their loved ones and communities. As <a href="https://www.oversixty.com.au/finance/legal/shocking-new-claims-on-alleged-double-murder" target="_blank" rel="noopener">the details of their untimely passing</a> continue to unfold, the outpouring of support and compassion from near and far serves as a beacon of hope amidst profound sorrow.</p> <p>Sandra Davies, mother to Luke, has now spoken publicly for the first time to express her gratitude amidst the overwhelming grief that has enveloped her family. In a poignant message shared on the GoFundMe page dedicated to preserving her son's memory, Sandra's words resonate with the profound depth of a mother's love and the enduring spirit of community.</p> <p>"Wow an unbelievable $75000.00 donated to our beloved, and most beautiful, kindest soul Luke," Sandra wrote. "It is with a grateful heart we thank you all sincerely although these words just don’t seem enough for the overwhelming love and generosity both Luke and Jesse have received these past few weeks.</p> <p>"To all the family, friends and strangers for your generous gifts and words of support we appreciate all of your help during this very traumatic and difficult time and will continue to keep you updated as we start to prepare for Luke’s final farewell." </p> <p>The remarkable sum of $75,000 raised thus far stands as a testament to the indelible impact Luke and Jesse have had on countless lives, their radiant spirits touching hearts far and wide. Luke's unwavering kindness, Jesse's vibrant presence – their absence reverberates through the hearts of all who were fortunate enough to know them.</p> <p>As Sandra extends her heartfelt appreciation to each and every individual who has offered solace and support, her words serve as a reminder of the healing power found in the embrace of community.</p> <p><em>Images: GoFundMe</em></p>

Legal

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"I almost cried": Mum shocked by stranger's random act of kindness

<p>A mother-of-two has almost been reduced to tears by a stranger's random act of kindness in a busy cafe. </p> <p>The mum, a woman named Tyne, was at a cafe in the Sunshine Coast suburb of Mooloolaba with her husband and two young sons, when she struck up a conversation with a woman reading a book nearby. </p> <p>She said she felt a wave of guilt that her rowdy children were disrupting the woman's peaceful morning, and leaned over to apologise. </p> <p>The woman assured the mother there was nothing to apologise for, with the woman's next act leaving the mum speechless. </p> <p>“A beautiful (and full on) weekend away with Mr 3.5y & Mr 1.5y my husband and I sat with coffees at a beautiful cafe waiting for breakfast for us,” Tyne wrote in a Facebook group called The Kindness Pandemic, where people share stories of their heartwarming interactions with strangers. </p> <p>“I immediately apologised to the lovely lady sitting near us as she had a book and I was afraid the boys wouldn’t be too peaceful." </p> <p>“We were chatting for a little and then she left after her breakfast.”</p> <p>When the mum went to pay for her family’s bill, the cashier informed her that the stranger had “taken care of it” and handed her a heartwarming note.</p> <p>“It was such a pleasure sharing my brekkie space with you,” the note read.</p> <p>“Please keep doing what you’re doing. You’ve got a beautiful family.”</p> <p>Tyne said she “almost cried” when she realised that the stranger had paid for her family’s entire breakfast.</p> <p>The cafe was situated close to one of the Sunshine Coast’s most popular attractions, Sea Life Aquarium, where the family had planned to spend their day.</p> <p>“Hopefully you can splurge a little more at Sea Life today,” the stranger added in the note, before signing off, “Love Em.”</p> <p>The mum said she was overwhelmed by the stranger’s incredible act of kindness, saying she "almost cried".</p> <p>“She paid for us … And her kind words were what I needed to hear.”</p> <p>Tyne said the stranger was an “amazing soul” and vowed to pay it forward”.</p> <p>“If you are Em staying in Mooloolaba for work and went to a quirky local that’s your favourite … YOU ARE AN AMAZING SOUL!” she said.</p> <p>People in the comments also shared their reactions to the heartfelt gesture.</p> <p>“Lovely lady. Your children would be being just that, children. Don’t apologise about them,” one wrote.</p> <p>“What a beautiful person Em clearly is. This was so gorgeous to read.”</p> <p><em>Image credits: Facebook</em></p>

Family & Pets

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Mothers’ dieting habits and self-talk have profound impact on daughters − 2 psychologists explain how to cultivate healthy behaviors and body image

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/janet-j-boseovski-451496">Janet J. Boseovski</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-north-carolina-greensboro-2069">University of North Carolina – Greensboro</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/ashleigh-gallagher-1505989">Ashleigh Gallagher</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-north-carolina-greensboro-2069">University of North Carolina – Greensboro</a></em></p> <p>Weight loss is one of the most common health and appearance-related goals.</p> <p>Women and <a href="https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/products/databriefs/db340.htm">teen girls</a> are <a href="https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/products/databriefs/db313.htm">especially likely to pursue dieting</a> to achieve weight loss goals even though a great deal of research shows that <a href="https://theconversation.com/what-thin-people-dont-understand-about-dieting-86604">dieting doesn’t work over the long term</a>.</p> <p>We are a <a href="https://www.duck-lab.com/people">developmental psychologist</a> and a <a href="https://psy.uncg.edu/directory/ashleigh-gallagher/">social psychologist</a> who together wrote a forthcoming book, “Beyond Body Positive: A Mother’s Evidence-Based Guide for Helping Girls Build a Healthy Body Image.”</p> <p>In the book, we address topics such as the effects of maternal dieting behaviors on daughters’ health and well-being. We provide information on how to build a foundation for healthy body image beginning in girlhood.</p> <h2>Culturally defined body ideals</h2> <p>Given the strong influence of social media and other cultural influences on body ideals, it’s understandable that so many people pursue diets aimed at weight loss. <a href="https://communityhealth.mayoclinic.org/featured-stories/tiktok-diets">TikTok</a>, YouTube, Instagram and celebrity websites feature slim influencers and “how-tos” for achieving those same results in no time.</p> <p>For example, women and teens are engaging in rigid and extreme forms of exercise such as 54D, a program to <a href="https://54d.com/">achieve body transformation in 54 days</a>, or the <a href="https://health.clevelandclinic.org/75-hard-challenge-and-rules">75 Hard Challenge</a>, which is to follow five strict rules for 75 days.</p> <p>For teens, these pursuits are likely fueled by trendy body preoccupations such as the desire for “<a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2024/02/06/well/move/tiktok-legging-legs-eating-disorders.html">legging legs</a>.”</p> <p>Women and teens have also been been inundated with recent messaging around <a href="https://theconversation.com/drugs-that-melt-away-pounds-still-present-more-questions-than-answers-but-ozempic-wegovy-and-mounjaro-could-be-key-tools-in-reducing-the-obesity-epidemic-205549">quick-fix weight loss drugs</a>, which come with a lot of caveats.</p> <p>Dieting and weight loss goals are highly individual, and when people are intensely self-focused, it is <a href="https://doi.org/10.1521/jscp.2000.19.1.70">possible to lose sight of the bigger picture</a>. Although women might wonder what the harm is in trying the latest diet, science shows that dieting behavior doesn’t just affect the dieter. In particular, for women who are mothers or who have other girls in their lives, these behaviors affect girls’ emerging body image and their health and well-being.</p> <h2>The profound effect of maternal role models</h2> <p>Research shows that mothers and maternal figures <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.brat.2017.11.001">have a profound influence on their daughters’ body image</a>.</p> <p>The opportunity to influence girls’ body image comes far earlier than adolescence. In fact, research shows that these influences on body image <a href="https://www.teenvogue.com/story/how-toxic-diet-culture-is-passed-from-moms-to-daughters">begin very early in life</a> – <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/bs.acdb.2016.10.006">during the preschool years</a>.</p> <p>Mothers may feel that they are being discreet about their dieting behavior, but little girls are watching and listening, and they are far more observant of us than many might think.</p> <p>For example, one study revealed that compared with daughters of nondieting women, 5-year-old girls whose mothers dieted <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/S0002-8223(00)00339-4">were aware of the connection between dieting and thinness</a>.</p> <p>Mothers’ eating behavior does not just affect girls’ ideas about dieting, but also their daughters’ eating behavior. The amount of food that mothers eat <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.appet.2018.04.018">predicts how much their daughters will eat</a>. In addition, daughters whose mothers are dieters are <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.appet.2018.04.018">more likely to become dieters themselves</a> and are also <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.eatbeh.2007.03.001">more likely to have a negative body image</a>.</p> <p>Negative body image is <a href="https://theconversation.com/mounting-research-documents-the-harmful-effects-of-social-media-use-on-mental-health-including-body-image-and-development-of-eating-disorders-206170">not a trivial matter</a>. It affects girls’ and women’s mental and physical well-being in a <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/1359105317710815">host of ways</a> and <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.brat.2011.06.009">can predict the emergence of eating disorders</a>.</p> <h2>Avoiding ‘fat talk’</h2> <p>What can moms do, then, to serve their daughters’ and their own health?</p> <p>They can focus on small steps. And although it is best to begin these efforts early in life – in girlhood – it is never too late to do so.</p> <p>For example, mothers can consider how they think about and talk about themselves around their daughters. Engaging in “fat talk” may inadvertently send their daughters the message that larger bodies are bad, <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.bodyim.2020.07.004">contributing to weight bias</a> and negative self-image. Mothers’ fat talk also <a href="https://doi.org/10.1080/15267431.2021.1908294">predicts later body dissatisfaction in daughters</a>.</p> <p>And negative self-talk isn’t good for mothers, either; it is associated with <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/1359105318781943">lower motivation and unhealthful eating</a>. Mothers can instead practice and model self-compassion, which involves treating oneself the way <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.bodyim.2016.03.003">a loving friend might treat you</a>.</p> <p>In discussions about food and eating behavior, it is important to avoid moralizing certain kinds of food by labeling them as “good” or “bad,” as girls may extend these labels to their personal worth. For example, a young girl may feel that she is being “bad” if she eats dessert, if that is what she has learned from observing the women around her. In contrast, she may feel that she has to eat a salad to be “good.”</p> <p>Moms and other female role models can make sure that the dinner plate sends a healthy message to their daughters by showing instead that all foods can fit into a balanced diet when the time is right. Intuitive eating, which emphasizes paying attention to hunger and satiety and allows flexibility in eating behavior, is associated with <a href="https://doi.org/10.1007/s40519-020-00852-4">better physical and mental health in adolescence</a>.</p> <p>Another way that women and especially moms can buffer girls’ body image is by helping their daughters <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.bodyim.2021.12.009">to develop media literacy</a> and to think critically about the nature and purpose of media. For example, moms can discuss the misrepresentation and distortion of bodies, such as the use of filters to enhance physical appearance, on social media.</p> <h2>Focusing on healthful behaviors</h2> <p>One way to begin to focus on health behaviors rather than dieting behaviors is to develop respect for the body and to <a href="https://theconversation.com/body-neutrality-what-it-is-and-how-it-can-help-lead-to-more-positive-body-image-191799">consider body neutrality</a>. In other words, prize body function rather than appearance and spend less time thinking about your body’s appearance. Accept that there are times when you may not feel great about your body, and that this is OK.</p> <p>To feel and look their best, mothers can aim to stick to a <a href="https://theconversation.com/whats-the-best-diet-for-healthy-sleep-a-nutritional-epidemiologist-explains-what-food-choices-will-help-you-get-more-restful-zs-219955">healthy sleep schedule</a>, manage their stress levels, <a href="https://theconversation.com/fiber-is-your-bodys-natural-guide-to-weight-management-rather-than-cutting-carbs-out-of-your-diet-eat-them-in-their-original-fiber-packaging-instead-205159">eat a varied diet</a> that includes all of the foods that they enjoy, and <a href="https://theconversation.com/the-runners-high-may-result-from-molecules-called-cannabinoids-the-bodys-own-version-of-thc-and-cbd-170796">move and exercise their bodies regularly</a> as lifelong practices, rather than engaging in quick-fix trends.</p> <p>Although many of these tips sound familiar, and perhaps even simple, they become effective when we recognize their importance and begin acting on them. Mothers can work toward modeling these behaviors and tailor each of them to their daughter’s developmental level. It’s never too early to start.</p> <h2>Promoting healthy body image</h2> <p>Science shows that several personal characteristics are associated with body image concerns among women.</p> <p>For example, research shows that women who are <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.bodyim.2020.02.001">higher in neuroticism</a> <a href="https://doi.org/10.1186/2050-2974-1-2">and perfectionism</a>, <a href="https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2022.983534">lower in self-compassion</a> or <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.bodyim.2013.08.001">lower in self-efficacy</a> are all more likely to struggle with negative body image.</p> <p>Personality is frequently defined as a person’s characteristic pattern of thoughts, feelings and behaviors. But if they wish, <a href="https://doi.org/10.1002/per.1945">mothers can change personality characteristics</a> that they feel aren’t serving them well.</p> <p>For example, perfectionist tendencies – such as setting unrealistic, inflexible goals – can be examined, challenged and replaced with more rational thoughts and behaviors. A woman who believes she must work out every day can practice being more flexible in her thinking. One who thinks of dessert as “cheating” can practice resisting moral judgments about food.</p> <p>Changing habitual ways of thinking, feeling and behaving certainly takes effort and time, but it is far more likely than diet trends to bring about sustainable, long-term change. And taking the first steps to modify even a few of these habits can positively affect daughters.</p> <p>In spite of all the noise from media and other cultural influences, mothers can feel empowered knowing that they have a significant influence on their daughters’ feelings about, and treatment of, their bodies.</p> <p>In this way, mothers’ modeling of healthier attitudes and behaviors is a sound investment – for both their own body image and that of the girls they love.<!-- Below is The Conversation's page counter tag. Please DO NOT REMOVE. --><img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/221968/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /><!-- End of code. If you don't see any code above, please get new code from the Advanced tab after you click the republish button. The page counter does not collect any personal data. More info: https://theconversation.com/republishing-guidelines --></p> <p><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/janet-j-boseovski-451496"><em>Janet J. Boseovski</em></a><em>, Professor of Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-north-carolina-greensboro-2069">University of North Carolina – Greensboro</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/ashleigh-gallagher-1505989">Ashleigh Gallagher</a>, Senior Lecturer, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-north-carolina-greensboro-2069">University of North Carolina – Greensboro</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images </em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/mothers-dieting-habits-and-self-talk-have-profound-impact-on-daughters-2-psychologists-explain-how-to-cultivate-healthy-behaviors-and-body-image-221968">original article</a>.</em></p>

Mind

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Mother bans in-laws from seeing her baby after they go against her wishes

<p dir="ltr">A woman has banned her in-laws from seeing her newborn daughter after they “betrayed her trust” and directly went against her wishes. </p> <p dir="ltr">The new mum shared the story to Reddit, as she explained why she was cutting contact with her husband’s parents after they pierced her child’s ears without their knowledge or consent. </p> <p dir="ltr">“My husband is from a culture where it's not uncommon to pierce baby girls' ears and his mother started pestering me about getting my daughter's ears pierced a few days after she was born,” the 32-year-old mum began. </p> <p dir="ltr">“I made it clear that I would not be doing that, and that I'd be waiting until she's old enough to ask for it herself. We live in my country where piercing a baby's ears isn't common at all.”</p> <p dir="ltr">The new mum's world soon came crashing down after the baby spent a weekend with her grandparents, before she went back to her parents red in the face and screaming. </p> <p dir="ltr">“My mother-in-law was looking after her over the weekend and decided to pierce her ears without my knowledge or consent.”</p> <p dir="ltr">“When I saw this I threw a fit. My baby was crying in pain, and I actually took her to the doctor to get their advice on whether or not to take them out.”</p> <p dir="ltr">The doctor advised the parent to take the earrings out as they were irritating the baby, but the issue didn’t end there. </p> <p dir="ltr">“I decided at that moment that my mother-in-law and everyone else on that side of the family (except for my sister-in-law, who's on my side about this) is going to have no alone contact with my daughter ever again - or at least until she's a teenager.”</p> <p dir="ltr">“My worry is that she'll do the same thing again, and to be frank, she's lost my trust entirely. I told her that if she had a problem with that, I'd report what she did to the police.”</p> <p dir="ltr">The husband of the baby girl reluctantly sided with his wife over the issue, despite saying it wasn’t a big deal and suggesting everyone move on from the incident.</p> <p dir="ltr">The story prompted a mixed response online, with some people saying the woman was overreacting and should work towards rebuilding trust with her in-laws.</p> <p dir="ltr">Others, however, had the opposite opinion, with one person saying, “Forget rebuilding trust, I'd be having them charged with assault.”</p> <p dir="ltr">Another person said, “They mutilated a child and they knew it was against the parents wishes. These people have serious problems. Not that I'd press charges, but getting holes poked in someone else's kid is a huge thing.”</p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Image credits: Getty Images </em></p>

Family & Pets

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Mother of Vyleen White's alleged killer speaks out

<p>The mother of the teenager who allegedly stabbed Vyleen White has spoken out, sending her condolences to White's family. </p> <p>The woman's 16-year-old son has been accused of the <a href="https://oversixty.com.au/health/caring/grandmother-fatally-stabbed-in-front-of-granddaughter" target="_blank" rel="noopener">deadly stabbing</a> of the 70-year-old Queensland grandmother, who was fatally injured at a shopping centre while on an outing with her 6-year-old granddaughter. </p> <p>The mother, who cannot be identified, apologised to the victim's family, along with the greater community for what happened. </p> <p>"I'm sorry to the community because I didn't know that the kids do that," the mother said.</p> <p>She said her son told her "I love you mum" as police put him in handcuffs and led him away.</p> <p>The mother also apologised to White's family, saying, "I feel sorry about that, yeah, because it's so bad."</p> <p>It is believed the teenager was out on bail when he allegedly committed the stabbing, after being charged last year with stealing a car and three counts of armed robbery.</p> <p>Four other teenagers have also faced court in relation to the alleged murder of Ms White, all charged with unlawful use of a motor vehicle.</p> <p>The mother's statement comes after Vyleen's <a href="https://oversixty.com.au/health/caring/tragic-new-details-emerge-as-vyleen-white-s-husband-speaks-out" target="_blank" rel="noopener">husband</a> shared that they were preparing celebrations for their 50th wedding anniversary when his wife was brutally murdered. </p> <p>He told <em>7News</em>, “I’m dealing with it the best way I can at the moment. When they stabbed her, they stabbed me.”</p> <p><em>Image credits: 9News</em></p>

Legal

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Bruce Springsteen shares devastating family news

<p>Bruce Springsteen has shared the heartbreaking news that his mother has passed away. </p> <p>The 74-year-old rockstar posted a tribute to his mother Adele, announcing that she died on January 31st at the age of 98. </p> <p>Springsteen wrote a lengthy caption on Instagram, alongside a video of him and his late mum dancing to swing music. </p> <p>“Adele Springsteen — May 4, 1925-January 31, 2024,” he began.</p> <p>“I remember in the morning mum hearing your alarm clock ring. I’d lie in bed and listen to you getting ready for work, the sound of your makeup case on the sink."</p> <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/reel/C20aKzMIGVW/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/reel/C20aKzMIGVW/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by Bruce Springsteen (@springsteen)</a></p> </div> </blockquote> <p>“And the ladies at the office all lipstick, perfume and rustling skirts, how proud and happy you always looked walking home from work."</p> <p>“It ain’t no house on the hill with a garden and a nice little yard. I’ve got my hot rod down on Bond Street I’m older but you’ll know me in a glance."</p> <p>“We’ll find us a little rock ‘n roll bar and we’ll go out and dance. Bruce Springsteen, The Wish.”</p> <p>Fans were quick to flock to the comments section to share their condolences and sympathies with the singer. </p> <p>One person wrote, “Oh I’m so sorry to hear that. You dancing on stage with your mom in London back in 2013 was a moment of pure joy. She was proud of you, you were proud of her and we ALL revelled in the love and affection.” </p> <p>Another added, “Our condolences Bruce and whole family. Sad news. We will remember the great moments seeing Bruce dancing with Adele in the concerts."</p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images </em></p>

Caring

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Why Tim Minchin chose to go on stage after his mum died

<p>Tim Minchin has shared why he went ahead with his Sydney concert the day after his mother passed away. </p> <p>Just weeks ago, Minchin<a href="https://oversixty.com.au/lifestyle/family-pets/tim-minchin-s-tragic-mid-show-announcement" target="_blank" rel="noopener"> took to the stage</a> at Sydney's State Theatre for his An <em>Unfunny Evening with Tim Minchin and his Piano</em> concert in front of 2,000 fans.</p> <p>The performance went ahead like any other show, until at the end of the concert, he shared with the audience that his mum had passed away the day before, after a three-year battle with cancer.</p> <p>The confession left the audience stunned, and many were moved to tears as Minchin asked for help to sing the final song of the night, Leonard Cohen’s <em>Hallelujah</em>.</p> <p>On Wednesday night, Minchin told <a href="https://oversixty.com.au/lifestyle/family-pets/tim-minchin-s-tragic-mid-show-announcement" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><em>news.com.au</em></a> that he wanted to still give his loyal fans an "honest" experience, and performing was his way of working through the devastating news. </p> <p>“I sort of didn’t know what else to do. I mean, that’s my job," he said. </p> <p>“I also really care that when I play gigs that people have an experience that feels honest, and it was the day after my mum died, so I thought I’d be honest about it."</p> <p>“Not because I wanted to manipulate them or get pity, but because everyone goes through those experiences, and that’s our job as artists to go, ‘I’ve experienced this and this is how I unpack it and maybe you’ll get something out of me talking about it and playing songs.”</p> <p>Minchin said he was proud of the show he put on that night in Sydney, but added, “I must admit, I can barely remember that night because I was just in this slightly otherworldly headspace”.</p> <p>After the moving performance in Sydney, audience members took to social media after the show, with comments including, “It felt like the audience held you in their arms during the final song, not a dry eye in the house”, and “Singing <em>Hallelujah</em> with 2000 other people … was by far the closest thing to a religious experience that I will ever have”.</p> <p>While Minchin's fans were all moved by the tribute to his mum, the musician was met with <a href="https://oversixty.com.au/health/caring/that-s-cheap-tim-minchin-attacked-by-former-senator-over-emotional-moment" target="_blank" rel="noopener">criticism</a> from <span style="caret-color: #212529; color: #212529; font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, 'Segoe UI', Roboto, 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, sans-serif, 'Apple Color Emoji', 'Segoe UI Emoji', 'Segoe UI Symbol', 'Noto Color Emoji'; font-size: 16px; background-color: #ffffff;">former government minister Amanda Vanstone, who </span><span style="caret-color: #212529; color: #212529; font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, 'Segoe UI', Roboto, 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, sans-serif, 'Apple Color Emoji', 'Segoe UI Emoji', 'Segoe UI Symbol', 'Noto Color Emoji'; font-size: 16px; background-color: #ffffff;">accused him of "cheapening" the experience by making it public. </span></p> <p><span style="caret-color: #212529; color: #212529; font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, 'Segoe UI', Roboto, 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, sans-serif, 'Apple Color Emoji', 'Segoe UI Emoji', 'Segoe UI Symbol', 'Noto Color Emoji'; font-size: 16px; background-color: #ffffff;">However, the public response to Vanstone's comments was swift and overwhelmingly negative.</span></p> <p style="box-sizing: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 24px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; vertical-align: baseline;"><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p>

Caring

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