Relationships

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Signs you are dating a psychopath

<p>It may sound like a scene straight out of a horror movie, but statistically you are not that unlikely to end up on a date with a psychopath. It is estimated that about <a href="https://www.livescience.com/7859-psychopath-answers-remain-elusive.html">1 in 100 people</a> are psychopaths – similar to the number of people <a href="https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/features/if-the-uk-were-a-village-of-100-people-1754307.html">who are teachers</a>.</p> <p>And while we may associate psychopaths with horrifying criminals such as the American serial killer, rapist and necrophile <a href="https://www.biography.com/people/ted-bundy-9231165">Ted Bundy</a>, the majority of psychopaths aren’t actually criminals, but live fairly ordinary lives in our midst. So how do you know if you happen to be dating a psychopath and what should you expect? Luckily, there’s research on the topic.</p> <p>Despite this type of personality disorder being well established and researched, there is some controversy <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/jopy.12115">around exactly how it should be diagnosed</a>. However, researchers do agree that psychopathy involves <a href="https://www.cambridge.org/core/journals/development-and-psychopathology/article/triarchic-conceptualization-of-psychopathy-developmental-origins-of-disinhibition-boldness-and-meanness/172BC63ED5C4C4C295C47DDCB01E838D">persistent antisocial behaviour</a>, impaired empathy and remorse, boldness, emotional resiliency, meanness, impulsivity and extremely egotistical traits.</p> <p>Psychopaths also have certain positive traits, however, such as paying attention to detail, being good at reading people and engaging in conversation with ease. Their ability to be precise and creative means psychopaths <a href="https://listverse.com/2016/04/22/10-unexpected-benefits-to-being-a-psychopath/">can be successful</a> professionals.</p> <p><strong>Romantic problems</strong></p> <p>The first trait that might become apparent when dating a psychopath is <a href="https://link.springer.com/chapter/10.1007/978-94-015-7856-1_2">pathological lying</a>. Psychopaths are likely to repeatedly attempt to deceive their partners and will lie about anything under any circumstances in order to conceal their behaviour and achieve their goals – whatever they may be.</p> <p>Unfortunately, it can be difficult to catch a psychopath lying as they often strategically plan deceitful stories. They often also tend to have a superficial charm that may have got their partner addicted in the first place – this could make their other half <a href="https://www.quora.com/What-is-an-example-of-psychopathic-charm">doubt their suspicions</a>.</p> <p>Their perception of self worth is typically extremely high. Even if you are a successful, confident professional, you are likely to feel worthless in comparison. And if you don’t, a psychopath partner may set out to crush your self esteem in order to <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3560578/">have more control over you</a>. Research shows that psychopaths often use a technique called gas lighting in order to achieve this – gradually eroding a “victim’s” confidence and sense of reality by confusing, misdirecting, deceiving and persuading them – leading to extreme <a href="http://parenting.exposed/dating-and-relationships-after-leaving-a-psychopath/">self doubt</a>.</p> <p>The reason psychopaths are good at manipulating is that they typically study people’s behaviour and skilfully use it to control them. If you are in a relationship with a psychopath and manage to resist their manipulation, they will often throw a <a href="https://www.mentalhelp.net/advice/please-explain-how-it-is-that-psychopaths-can-manipulate-people-if-they-have-no-empathy/">toddler’s tantrum full of frustration</a>, anger, nagging or repetitive conversations – and of course the pity puppy eyes as a final attempt – to make you feel sorry for them and give in to their wishes.</p> <p>The lack of guilt or remorse is particularly hard to deal with. But don’t expect it to change – research suggests the brains of psychopaths are <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/14789949.2014.943798">wired in this way</a>. A recent brain scanning study of psychopaths in prison showed that the higher levels of psychopathy people had, the more likely they were to cheat – and <a href="https://academic.oup.com/scan/article/13/8/797/5048611">not feel bad about it</a>. This was associated with reduced activity of the <a href="https://neuro.psychiatryonline.org/doi/full/10.1176/jnp.23.2.jnp121">anterior cingulate cortex</a>, which is thought to play a role in morality, impulse control and emotion among other things. Other studies have discovered that psychopaths have structural and functional differences in <a href="http://psycnet.apa.org/record/2016-55325-001">several brain areas</a>, including the prefrontal cortex, which plays a crucial role in personality development and planning.</p> <p>It is clearly also exhausting to be in a relationship with someone who <a href="https://academic.oup.com/scan/article/5/1/59/1731641">struggles to feel empathy</a>. However, some studies have indicated that psychopaths may actually have the ability to feel empathy – both on an intellectual and emotional level – but <a href="https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-23431793">can choose to disregard it</a>, as if they have an emotional off switch. Similarly, it seems psychopaths <a href="http://www.psychiatrictimes.com/psychotic-affective-disorders/hidden-suffering-psychopath">are often aware</a> of the wrongfulness in their negative behaviour, but act in that way in any case due to their lack of self control.</p> <p>Romantic partners of psychopaths will therefore soon realise it is hard work to keep up with their partners’ continuous need for stimulation and unrealistic long-term goals. Their lack of self control can also get partners in trouble. For example, a psychopath may be <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0160252717300523">rude to their partner’s colleagues</a> or embarrass them at a party.</p> <p>Psychopaths also tend to show traits of sociopathy and narcissism, and both traits <a href="https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/personality-types-most-likely-to-cheat-and-why-they-do-it">have been been correlated with infidelity</a>. A <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0265407517734068">recent study</a> that examined how psychopathic traits play out in romantic relationships also found that manipulation to gain sex may be a common approach.</p> <p>While many of these traits are off-putting, men and women seem to struggle with different things when living with a psychopathic partner. Women are more likely to resent their partner’s behaviour and gradually end the relationship, while men are more likely to experience <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2014.08.014">an increased fear of rejection</a> due to their partner’s impulsive behaviour.</p> <p><strong>Dealing with rejection</strong></p> <p>People who find the strength to get unhooked from a romantic relationship with a psychopath may find that their other half actually feels sorry – but that’s most likely to be because they <a href="http://www.pnas.org/content/113/50/14438">are no longer able to own</a>, control and use them anymore.</p> <p>And if you dump a psychopath and later try to get them back you are unlikely to be successful. Their lack of empathy means that they will take no responsibility for what went wrong in the relationship and offer to change going forward. Instead, they will most likely <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/pdf/10.1111/1468-5930.00062">blame the outcome on you</a> or anyone else but themselves. This attitude comes from their belief that, if you are feeling hurt, then it is your responsibility and your problem – in other words, <a href="http://philosophycommons.typepad.com/flickers_of_freedom/2015/01/psychopaths-and-moral-responsibility-the-state-of-the-debate.html">you let this happen to you</a>.</p> <p>However, if their next romantic partner is not as challenging, interesting and fruitful as they hoped for, they might come right back to you full of deceitful apologies and new-found meaning in your relationship – along with promises of love. That is because psychopaths tend to live a <a href="http://psychogendered.com/2014/06/bloodsucker-the-parasitic-psychopath/">parasitic lifestyle</a>, feeding off others and taking more than they give. That means they may want to have your friends, resources and even your financial status back as their own.</p> <p>That said, psychopaths do appreciate their relationships in their own way. They do suffer pain, feel loneliness, have desires and feel sadness if they do not receive affection. Clearly dating a psychopath is not for everyone. But some people can see beyond the negative traits and accept a psychopath partner as they are – ultimately having greater chance of seeing the relationship succeed.<!-- Below is The Conversation's page counter tag. Please DO NOT REMOVE. --><img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important; text-shadow: none !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/106965/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /><!-- End of code. If you don't see any code above, please get new code from the Advanced tab after you click the republish button. The page counter does not collect any personal data. More info: http://theconversation.com/republishing-guidelines --></p> <p><em>Written by <span>Calli Tzani-Pepelasi, Lecturer in Investigative Psychology, University of Huddersfield</span>. Republished with permission of </em><a rel="noopener" href="https://theconversation.com/worried-you-are-dating-a-psychopath-signs-to-look-for-according-to-science-106965" target="_blank"><em>The Conversation</em></a><em>.</em></p>

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Duchess Meghan’s special tribute to Prince Harry and baby Archie

<p>The Duchess of Sussex has kept her two loves, husband Prince Harry and their son, Archie, close to her heart while she is overseas. </p> <p>The royal, 38, attended the US Open on Saturday to cheer on her close pal Serena Williams in the Women’s Final. </p> <p>The new mother looked stunning and relaxed in a denim shirt-dress and blazer from J.Crew - with a particularly special feature. </p> <p>Duchess Meghan wore a gold ‘dog tag’ necklace on the day, which had Prince Harry and baby Archie’s  initials etched onto a small stone. </p> <p>The necklace is a creation of Mini Mini Jewels - the 14k Gold Birthstone Accented Letter Dog-tag Pendant. </p> <blockquote style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/BmoV2tUjwhD/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="12"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"></div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"></div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"></div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BmoV2tUjwhD/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank">A post shared by Mini Mini Jewels (@miniminijewels)</a> on Aug 18, 2018 at 11:29am PDT</p> </div> </blockquote> <p>The necklace also featured a diamond stud on each of the pendants. </p> <p>While it is barely noticeable, there is A and H etched onto the gorgeous piece of jewellery. </p> <p>In June, the Duchess attended Wimbledon to support her gal pal again, and was pictured adorned in a fine necklace with a letter A charm.  </p> <p>Scroll through the gallery above to see Duchess Meghan’s special nod to hubby, Prince Harry and baby Archie. </p>

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How often do people forget things about one another?

<p>A new acquaintance needs to be reminded of your name while you are having a conversation. A colleague forgets your plan to meet for coffee and schedules a conflicting meeting. A friend books a table for the two of you at a restaurant but it slips her mind that you don’t like sushi.</p> <p>We have all been on the receiving end of another person’s memory failure, and have forgotten important things about people ourselves. Until recently, however, we haven’t been able to understand these experiences and their consequences with much beyond anecdotes. My research group decided to change that.</p> <p>We undertook a <a href="http://psycnet.apa.org/record/2018-39692-001">systematic study</a> of the experience of being forgotten. We wanted to find out what a typical experience looks like – who is involved, what gets forgotten, and how often it happens to people. We also wondered how people were affected and whether there was any measurable impact on the relationship afterwards.</p> <p>To find out, we used a combination of methods. In one strand, we asked about 50 people to keep a daily diary over two weeks. They had to record all occasions in which they were forgotten and give some details about the experience when it happened.</p> <p>In another strand, we constructed social interactions in our laboratory in which another 50 participants discovered that someone else had forgotten most of the details of a previous conversation. We then recorded how it made them feel. Finally, we showed several hundred people stories in which someone was forgotten or remembered. We asked for their reaction and what they thought of the people involved.</p> <p><strong>What we found</strong></p> <p>One of our most surprising discoveries was how frequently things about people were forgotten. On average, our diary keepers reported being forgotten about seven times over a two week period – once every other day. And it wasn’t only people who had just met one another; people were forgotten with similar frequency by acquaintances, co-workers, classmates, flatmates and friends.</p> <p>The type of memory failure did depend on who was doing the forgetting. Complete failures of recognition were relatively rare (9%), and limited mainly to new or casual types of relationships. Personal details were forgotten most often (48%), especially in less close types of relationships such as acquaintances.</p> <p>In closer relationships such as friendships, people most often forgot something about past interactions or shared experiences (26% of all the memory failures). For example, one participant recorded a close friend telling her a story about a party that the participant had also attended. Closer relationships also provided the most examples of people forgetting obligations or promises (“I had a ‘date’ on Skype today with my boyfriend but he forgot”). This type of forgetting was relatively rare overall (8%), however.</p> <p>Another surprise was that people tended to be very understanding about memory lapses. They usually made an excuse for the forgetter – “She met too many people in the last couple of days.” Only in about one in five instances did a person explicitly link the memory failure to a lack of investment in them or the information, such as saying “I don’t think she found the place where I am from to be interesting or worth remembering.”</p> <p><strong>What it means</strong></p> <p>So do you need to worry about forgetting during social interaction? In the minority of cases where people explain memory failure through a lack of investment, the answer is obviously yes. As you might expect, these instances made people feel substantially less important and less close to the person who forgot them.</p> <p>Yet even in the majority of cases where people excused the forgetter, there was still some negative effect on the relationship. Despite providing excuses, people tended to feel a little less important and close to the person as a result. In short, people are usually very understanding about memory failures, but they do still hurt a bit.</p> <p>So might it improve our relationships if we made more effort to remember things about people? We think it probably would. In preliminary follow-up work, we have found that prompting participants to make clear that they remember the details of a past social interaction improved their ability to communicate that they care about others. We can’t yet say with certainty how effective bolstering memory might be for improving social interaction, but it is definitely better than forgetting people.<!-- Below is The Conversation's page counter tag. Please DO NOT REMOVE. --><img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important; text-shadow: none !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/103494/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /><!-- End of code. If you don't see any code above, please get new code from the Advanced tab after you click the republish button. The page counter does not collect any personal data. More info: http://theconversation.com/republishing-guidelines --></p> <p><em>Written by <span>Devin Ray, Lecturer in Psychology, University of Aberdeen</span>. Republished with permission of </em><a rel="noopener" href="https://theconversation.com/how-often-do-people-forget-things-about-one-another-we-decided-to-find-out-103494" target="_blank"><em>The Conversation</em></a><em>.</em></p>

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Match made in heaven: Nick Kyrgios in rumoured love triangle with former flame

<p>This year, tennis wasn’t the only match occurring at the US Open.</p> <p>On Monday, Australia tennis star Ajla Tomljanovic was spotted in the box of Italy’s Matteo Berrettini, who beat Russia’s Andrey Rublev in the fourth round.</p> <p>A photo then appeared on Instagram showing Tomljanovic, who was previously in a relationship with Aussie bad boy Nick Kyrgios, at an Italian restaurant in New York with Berrettini and Canada’s Felix Auger-Aliassime.</p> <blockquote style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/B1jsg0hh-i1/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="12"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"></div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"></div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"></div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <p style="margin: 8px 0 0 0; padding: 0 4px;"><a style="color: #000; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none; word-wrap: break-word;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/B1jsg0hh-i1/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank">Wow wow wow... can someone play tennis here?! 😱😍😜 Grazie infinite @ajlatom @matberrettini @felixaliassime Three top fifty of @atptour @wta VDP THE PLACE TO BE!!! : : : : : #matteoberrettini #ajlatomljanovic #felixaugeraliassime #atp #wta #tennis #champions #top50 #usopen #Bartocci #maidomo #italian #man #swag #style #longhair #menhair #manbun #beard #barba #beardlife #piercings #tattoo #inked #italianrestaurant #newyork #nyc #vdptheplacetobe #love #amore</a></p> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;">A post shared by <a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/maidomo/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank"> Giovanni Bartocci</a> (@maidomo) on Aug 24, 2019 at 12:02pm PDT</p> </div> </blockquote> <p>“Wow wow wow … can someone play tennis here? Grazi infinite @ajlatom @matberrettini @felixaliassime,” captioned Giovanni Bartocci, co-owner of the restaurant.</p> <p>And while Tomljanovic and Berrettini’s current status remains unconfirmed, her previous relationship with Kyrgios was highly publicised.</p> <p>But after Kyrgios was said to have been seen with another woman during Wimbledon, Tomljanovic deleted every photo she had with the 24-year-old from her social media pages.</p> <p>The pair began dating in 2015 before calling it quits.</p>

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How to have productive disagreements about politics and religion

<p>In the current polarized climate, it’s easy to find yourself in the midst of a political disagreement that morphs into a religious argument. People’s religious affiliation <a href="http://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2018/01/22/american-religious-groups-vary-widely-in-their-views-of-abortion/">predicts their stances on abortion</a>, <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/pdf/10.1111/j.1468-5906.2009.01449.x">immigration</a> and other controversial topics, and disagreements about these issues can seem intractable.</p> <p>The seeming futility in arguing about politics and religion may arise partly because people misunderstand the nature of these beliefs. Many people approach an ideological disagreement the same way they would a disagreement about facts. If you disagree with someone about when water freezes, facts are convincing. It’s easy to think that if you disagree with someone about immigration, facts will be similarly persuasive.</p> <p>This might work if people’s ideological beliefs worked the same way as their factual beliefs – but they don’t. As psychologists who focus on religious and moral cognition, <a href="https://columbiasamclab.weebly.com">my colleagues and I</a> are investigating how people understand that these are two separate classes of belief. Our work suggests that an effective strategy for disagreement involves approaching ideological beliefs as a combination of fact and opinion.</p> <p><strong>Identifying a difference</strong></p> <p>To investigate whether people distinguish between facts and religious beliefs, my colleagues and I <a href="https://columbiasamclab.weebly.com/uploads/5/9/0/6/59061709/heiphetz_landers_vanleeuwen_in_press_prs.pdf">examined</a> a <a href="https://corpus.byu.edu/coca/">database containing more than 520 million words</a> from speeches, novels, newspapers and other sources.</p> <p>Religious statements were typically preceded by the phrase “believe that” rather than “think that.” Phrases like “I believe that Jesus turned water into wine” were relatively common, whereas phrases like “I think that Jesus turned water into wine” were nearly nonexistent.</p> <p>In four subsequent experiments, we asked adults to complete sentences like “Zane __ that Jesus turned water into wine.” Participants were more likely to use “believes” for religious and political claims and “thinks” for factual claims.</p> <p><iframe id="Qgbts" class="tc-infographic-datawrapper" src="https://datawrapper.dwcdn.net/Qgbts/4/" height="400px" width="100%" style="border: none;" frameborder="0"></iframe></p> <p>Taken together, these results suggest that people distinguish between factual beliefs, on the one hand, and religious and political claims, on the other.</p> <p>Rather than equating ideologies and facts, people appear to view ideologies as a combination of fact and opinion. In two earlier studies, 5- to 10-year-old children and adults learned about pairs of characters who <a href="http://dx.doi.org/10.1016/j.jesp.2012.09.005">disagreed about religious, factual and opinion-based statements</a>. For example, we told participants that one person thought that God could hear prayers while the other didn’t, or that two other people disagreed about whether or not blue is the prettiest color. Participants said that only one person could be right nearly every time they heard a factual disagreement, but they gave this answer less often when they heard a religious disagreement and less often still when they heard an opinion-based disagreement.</p> <p>This result may occur because children and adults think that different types of beliefs provide different information. <a href="http://dx.doi.org/10.1016/j.cogdev.2013.12.002">Participants told us</a> that factual claims reveal information about the world, whereas opinions reveal information about the speaker. They also reported that religious claims reveal a moderate amount of information about both the world and the speaker. People who say that God exists are ostensibly making a claim about what kinds of beings exist in the world – but not everyone would agree with that claim, so they are also revealing information about themselves.</p> <p><strong>Recognizing the difference in everyday life</strong></p> <p>So how can you use our results when a contentious topic arises outside the lab?</p> <p>When you find yourself in the midst of an ideological disagreement, it can be tempting to correct the other person’s facts. “Actually, scientific evidence shows that the earth is <a href="https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/how-science-figured-out-the-age-of-the-earth/">more than 4 billion years old</a> and that <a href="https://www.pbs.org/wgbh/evolution/humans/humankind/index.html">humans did indeed evolve</a> from <a href="http://humanorigins.si.edu">other primates</a>.” “Actually, recent data show that immigrants <a href="https://theconversation.com/is-immigration-bad-for-the-economy-4-essential-reads-99001">contribute to the economy</a> and <a href="https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/wonk/wp/2018/06/19/two-charts-demolish-the-notion-that-immigrants-here-illegally-commit-more-crime/?noredirect=on&amp;utm_term=.bbdd23b1132b">commit fewer crimes</a> than native-born Americans.”</p> <p>Yet this type of information alone is often insufficient to resolve disagreements. It’s addressing the part of ideological beliefs that is like a fact, the part where someone is trying to communicate information about the world. But it’s missing the part where ideological beliefs are also like an opinion. Without this part, saying, “Actually, evidence shows that X” sounds a lot like saying, “Actually, evidence proves that blue is not the prettiest color.” To be convincing, you need tools that address both the fact part and the opinion part of an ideology.</p> <p>People rarely change their opinions because someone out-argued them. Rather, opinion-based change can come from exposure. <a href="http://dx.doi.org/10.1037/h0025848">People like</a> <a href="https://doi.org/10.1521/soco.2008.26.3.259">the familiar</a>, even when that familiarity comes from the <a href="https://doi.org/10.1111/1467-9280.00289">briefest of prior exposures</a>. The same could occur for viewpoints that they’ve heard before.</p> <p>What does exposure look like when talking about ideological disagreements? “Hmm. I actually think something different.” “I really appreciated the way my science tutor was patient with me when I didn’t understand evolution. The way she explained things made a lot of sense to me after a while.” “I’m going to donate money to groups helping asylum seekers. Do you want to join me?”</p> <p>Maybe you say just one of these sentences, but others pick up where you left off. By walking around in the world, someone might encounter numerous counterpoints to their opinions, perhaps leading to gradual change as other views become more familiar.</p> <p>It’s not anyone’s responsibility to say these sentences, least of all people who are being harmed by the disagreement. But for those in a position to change minds via repeated exposure, this strategy can be a helpful addition to the “managing disagreement” toolboxes everyone carries.<!-- Below is The Conversation's page counter tag. Please DO NOT REMOVE. --><img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important; text-shadow: none !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/109495/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /><!-- End of code. If you don't see any code above, please get new code from the Advanced tab after you click the republish button. The page counter does not collect any personal data. More info: http://theconversation.com/republishing-guidelines --></p> <p><em>Written by <span>Larisa Heiphetz, Assistant Professor of Psychology, Columbia University</span>. Republished with permission of </em><a rel="noopener" href="https://theconversation.com/how-to-have-productive-disagreements-about-politics-and-religion-109495" target="_blank"><em>The Conversation</em></a><em>.</em></p>

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Wedding bells? Richard Wilkins and Virginia Burmeister update

<p>Christian Wilkins, the son of former<span> </span><em>Today<span> </span></em>host Richard Wilkins has made an exciting revelation about his father. </p> <p>On Thursday, the model revealed his dad might be tying the knot with his long-term girlfriend Virgina Burmeister. </p> <blockquote style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/By4kJO5AFNA/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="12"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"></div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"></div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"></div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/By4kJO5AFNA/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank">A post shared by CHRISTIAN WILKINS (@theprincewilkins)</a> on Jun 19, 2019 at 12:59am PDT</p> </div> </blockquote> <p>“Maybe [they will marry], they are very happy together,” he told the<span> </span><a href="https://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-7427379/Christian-Wilkins-weighs-father-Richard-marry-girlfriend-Virginia-Burmeister.html"><em>Daily Mail</em></a><span> </span>at the David Jones Spring Summer 2019 event. </p> <p>“I love Virginia and me and my dad are best friends.”</p> <p>The couple went public with their relationship in October 2017 and have since sparked engagement rumours when Richard posted a photo of his girlfriend outside of a Jewelry store while in Europe back in July. </p> <blockquote style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/BzVHUM1nC69/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="12"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"></div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"></div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"></div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BzVHUM1nC69/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank">A post shared by Virginia Burmeister (@virginiaburmeister)</a> on Jun 30, 2019 at 3:05am PDT</p> </div> </blockquote> <p>Less than a year after their relationship went public, insiders reported Virginia moved in with Richard and sold her manly home she had with her estranged investment banker husband Mark Burmeister.</p> <blockquote style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/BH9FoMMgisd/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="12"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"></div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"></div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"></div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BH9FoMMgisd/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank">A post shared by Richard Wilkins (@richardwilkins)</a> on Jul 17, 2016 at 12:38am PDT</p> </div> </blockquote> <p>Virginia is a mother to three children. </p> <p>Richard has been married three times and has five children to four different mothers: Adam, 45, Rebecca, 35, Nick, 33, Christian, 23 and Estella, 14. </p>

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Serena Williams pays tribute to her father’s “amazing” work ethic

<p>As tennis legend Serena Williams has her sights set on the record-equalling 24th grand slam singles crown she’s been training her whole life for, Serena has taken a moment to reflect on her father Richard’s sacrifices to get her to where she is today.</p> <p>Serena says that the birth of her own daughter Alexis Olympia has made her realise just how much her father gave up for her over the years.</p> <p>"My dad is amazing. I could never have done what he has done, not only with myself but with Venus," the American told<span> </span><a rel="noopener" href="https://www.espn.com/tennis/story/_/id/27529598/serena-breezes-6-1-6-0-win-just-44-minutes" target="_blank"><em>ESPN</em></a>.</p> <p>"It's shocking and as a parent to do something every single day is very difficult - and I can't do something with my daughter every single day.</p> <p>"And I remember when we were young, we went out and trained and practised and we didn't miss a day.”</p> <p>Serena said that she appreciates the discipline as it has made her a better player.</p> <p>"To have that discipline actually makes me look at myself as a player, as a parent and just really appreciate my dad so much more than I ever have in the past,” she said.</p> <p>"It just makes me see it totally different and I love him to death and he's watching all my matches and he's probably already texting me right now saying 'Serena, you need to do this a little more'.</p> <p>"And I'm like 'okay, Dad, I got this."</p> <p>As to whether or not her two-year-old will make an appearance at the games? It’s not looking likely until Alexis can sit still.</p> <p>"She's a little bit loud and obnoxious right now," <a rel="noopener" href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X11mw-S-AJo" target="_blank">Williams said at a <em>US Open press conference</em></a>.</p> <p>"I'm not sure she should come to the matches."</p> <p>"I'm hoping next year she'll be at an age where she can sit ... Maybe I'll start at the smaller tournaments and see how she does and go from there. Also, she's still napping. It's hard."</p> <p>Scroll through the gallery to see Serena and her father Thomas through the years.</p>

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What the royals’ handwriting says about them

<p>The way you write your letters, how you cross your ‘t’s and dot your ‘I’s says a lot more about you than you think. Your handwriting can reveal a lot about your personality, and this is the case for the royal family.</p> <p>Emma Bache, graphologist and author of<span> </span>Reading Between The Lineshas decoded some of the royal family’s handwriting. She told<span> </span><a rel="noopener" href="https://www.hellomagazine.com/royalty/gallery/2019013067225/kate-middleton-other-royals-handwriting-revealed/2/" target="_blank">HELLO!</a> her thoughts on the royals handwriting.</p> <p><strong>The Duchess of Cambridge, Catherine</strong></p> <p>"Catherine likes things very, very well organised, she can be a little bit dogmatic about things. Now, you might think that she is very calm because she has this persona in the media, and she is, up to a point, unless things don't go her way."</p> <p>Emma added: "She really needs people around her. She's conservative by nature – she's not going to upset anybody very easily. And her signature is right in the middle of the page; what you see is what you get. She knows her own mind, has a healthy ego and feels absolutely no need to put on airs and graces. Catherine is not going to rock the boat, ever."</p> <p><strong>The Duke of Cambridge, William</strong></p> <p>"William is much more like Catherine in that he is solid and steady but doesn't need other people's approval as much as Catherine does," Emma told<span> </span><em>HELLO!</em>.</p> <p>"His signature, he has this horizontal line going up which is sort of saying, 'I will come to you… keep your distance.'"</p> <p>Emma also wrote in her book about the Duke of Cambridge’s handwriting.</p> <p>"Prince William's handwriting consists of narrow letters but relatively wide spaces between words. The future King of England will be more than a little used to socialising and meeting an extremely broad range of people.</p> <p>“However, we can see that he is quite shy in reality and would not normally choose to push himself forward or hog the limelight. The wide spaces between his words show his need for some independence and privacy."</p> <p><strong>The Duchess of Sussex, Meghan</strong></p> <p>"The most obvious thing visually about her is all these curly 'q's and very slow writing, which is very mannerised and calligraphic,” explained Emma.</p> <p>“This is a woman who is used to being in the spotlight. These strokes that go over covering the words, that's self-protection; she's going to react to criticism.”</p> <p><strong>The Duke of Sussex, Harry</strong></p> <p>"Harry surprisingly likes his space around him, and he has, I feel, a persona of being a bit of a 'Jack the lad,' and almost a little irresponsible when he was younger," Emma told <em>HELLO!</em>.</p> <p>"But he's actually deeply sensitive, he likes his owns space, his moods are more up and down and he needs a bit more careful handling. There's a sensitivity here that other people don't see.</p> <p>"But his signature, which is how he wants to be seen by other people, he's underlined it and he's got these vertical strokes. He wants to be seen as, 'I'm absolutely sorted, I'm quite stubborn and I am going to have my way.' But the reality is he is actually more malleable and more sensitive to how other people see him."</p> <p>Scroll through the gallery to see the handwriting of the Dukes and Duchesses.</p>

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Why Duchess Meghan won't let her dad meet Archie

<p>The Sussex family has had enough of Meghan’s fathers’ antics and have decided to cut all ties with him following her dad’s public betrayals.</p> <p>This is according to insiders who are close to the Sussexes.</p> <p>One insider told<span> </span><em><a rel="noopener" href="https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/9842451/meghan-markle-cuts-ties-dad-thomas-archie/" target="_blank">The Sun</a><span> </span></em>about Meghan’s heartbreaking decision.</p> <p>“It’s a terribly sad situation but Meghan has made the very difficult decision that she doesn’t have an active relationship with her father anymore.</p> <p>“This was actually a decision she made some time ago and it is something she’s now coming to terms with.</p> <p>“It’s obviously heart-breaking for her but she has to protect herself, her husband and her son.</p> <p>The news comes after Thomas Markle’s, 75, remarks about the Sussex’s recent adventures on private jets.</p> <p>“I’ve still never met my son-in-law. Why couldn’t Prince Harry have got on a plane and flown to see me to ask for her hand?</p> <p>"He obviously has no problem getting on private jets.”</p> <p>“Everyone raves about how gracious and wonderful they are, but they are not wonderful to their own family.”</p> <p>An insider confirmed that the royal couple have no intention of letting Thomas meet Archie, his four-month-old grandson.</p> <p>"Thomas hasn’t met Harry and it’s unlikely he’ll meet Archie either.”</p> <p>The Sussex family are choosing to rise above the issues but posted a “powerful quote” on their Instagram from Nelson Mandela.</p> <p>The post reads:</p> <p>“It is so easy to break down and destroy. The heroes are those who make peace and build.”</p> <blockquote style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/B16zLmml2LC/" data-instgrm-version="12"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"></div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"></div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"></div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <p style="margin: 8px 0 0 0; padding: 0 4px;"><a style="color: #000; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none; word-wrap: break-word;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/B16zLmml2LC/" target="_blank">Sharing a powerful quote to start the week. Nelson Rolihlahla Mandela was a true leader, a South African anti-apartheid revolutionary and philanthropist who served as President of South Africa from 1994 to 1999. Please discover one of the chosen accounts for this month @NelsonMandelaFoundationSA for more inspiring quotes</a></p> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;">A post shared by <a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/sussexroyal/" target="_blank"> The Duke and Duchess of Sussex</a> (@sussexroyal) on Sep 2, 2019 at 11:23am PDT</p> </div> </blockquote> <div class="post_body_wrapper"> <div class="post_body"> <div class="body_text "> <p><em>Photo credit for Thomas Markle: James Breeden – The Sun<span> </span></em></p> </div> </div> </div>

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14 things you should never say to your spouse

<p>We’ve all said something to our mate that we regret – but toxic phrases can harm a relationship to the point of irreparable damage.</p> <p><strong>Don’t threaten divorce</strong></p> <p>When you threaten divorce, you may regret it later. “It shows that you’re not truly committed to the marriage lasting forever, making your spouse feel rejected and preventing them from feeling safe loving you,” says Tracey Steinberg, author of <em>Flirt For Fun &amp; Meet THE One</em>. But once it’s been said, the damage has been done to your marriage, even if it’s an idle threat. You’re telling your partner that you have one foot out the door. And it will eventually take its toll on him or her. “Divorce is never something to be expressed unless you’ve explored every avenue of making it work together,” says Antonia Hall, MA, a psychologist and relationship expert. “Just the mention of it in jest can cause serious hurt and doubt in someone’s mind and serious damage to the relationship.”</p> <p><strong>Don’t call him or her a liar</strong></p> <p>“Trust is imperative for a successful relationship,” says Hall. If you suspect he’s being untruthful, telling him straight out that you don’t believe him will usually backfire. Instead, say, “I’m having trouble believing you’re telling me the entire story.” It’s less inflammatory and accusatory. Focus on asking questions about a particular incident to fully open the lines of communication. “The idea is to listen rather than fire off harsh statements,” says Stacey Laura Lloyd, the Dating Expert for about.com. “By gathering all the facts first, you’ll be in a much better position to understand your spouse’s behaviour and then react appropriately.”</p> <p><strong>Don’t tell them how to react to something</strong></p> <p>In the same vein are also “Calm down,” “Don’t get so defensive,” and “You’re being too sensitive.” Sometimes people make comments like these to stop their partner from being so upset – but it can make the person feel like their emotions aren’t justified, valid, or being heard. “You want your partner to feel safe showing and voicing their vulnerability without fear of judgment,” says Laurel House, a dating and empowerment coach. So, they may get even more mad. “If your intent is to make them less upset and agitated, you’ll have the exact opposite outcome,” says Lloyd. “These phrases are perceived as demeaning directives that belittle and degrade your partner.” And they’ll respond with anger, volatility and hostility. “Rather than telling them how to feel and react to the matter at hand, you’ll be better able to resolve things by letting them vent and listening carefully to what they’re saying,” Lloyd says.</p> <p><strong>Don’t be passive aggressive</strong></p> <p>It’s likely obvious that something is wrong. So, when you say “nothing,” you’re being passive aggressive, and you make it seem like you’re afraid of bringing up something that could start a fight. That’s why you’re encouraging your partner to start one for you. “Fighting can be a healthy part of a long-term relationship,” says Andrea Syrtash, a relationship expert and author of <em>Cheat on Your Husband (with Your Husband): How to Date Your Spouse</em>. “It’s not that you fight but how you fight. Don’t worry about disagreeing or not being on the same page,” says Syrtash. “When you communicate through your differences – and actually hear each other – you’re likely to make breakthroughs and/or find common ground.” But when you avoid fighting, the issue is likely to worsen. “Being able to communicate your feelings is the only way to work through the inevitable conflicts between you and your sweetheart,” says Hall. “Acting like nothing is wrong is a lose-lose situation that will lead to frustration and could easily escalate the issue at hand.” Instead, sit down and talk it out as calmly and respectfully as possible.</p> <p><strong>Don’t dismiss feelings</strong></p> <p>When you say “whatever,” it can make your mate feel like you’re minimising and dismissing their feelings. “There’s nothing positive or upbeat about saying ‘Whatever,’” says relationship expert and coach Julie Spira. “It usually comes with the tone of a disgruntled spouse.” Men, in particular, are programmed to please and be the hero, says Spira. So, when they’re asked ‘What’s wrong?’ it can catch a man off-guard, especially if he thinks he’s been keeping you happy, she says. “The best thing you can do if he responds with nothing is just smile,” says Spira. “Whatever problems were brewing just might dissipate with a smile and hug. When he’s ready to talk, he’ll let you know.”</p> <p><strong>Don’t speak in absolutes</strong></p> <p>“You’re always late.” “You never put away the laundry.” When you use these phrases, they’re rarely truthful or productive, and always hurtful. You’re telling your partner that they can never do anything right and that you don’t think they can change. “When you say these words, you’re essentially making a character assassination,” says Syrtash. Studies show that when you put your partner’s character down, you’re even more likely to head for divorce. Next time, Steinberg says, “Sweetly ask for exactly what you want and tell them how happy it would make you.” You might say, “Sweetheart, it would make me so happy if you pick up your socks from next to the bed in the mornings.”</p> <p><strong>Don’t test their love</strong></p> <p>“When you start a sentence this way, you’re putting your partner on the defence,” says Syrtash. “This is a passive-aggressive way to communicate your needs.” Your partner shouldn’t feel pressured to do something to prove their love or that they don’t want to do. “You’re testing your partner when you say things like this,” says Syrtash. “Your partner shouldn’t feel like they’re on trial to prove their love.” Instead, make a request in a non-confrontational and direct way. “Approach your parter authentically, and in a way that connects you, rather in a way that creates a divide,” says Hall. You might say, “I miss spending time with you, and I’d like to go out to dinner this weekend.” That phrasing will likely get you what you want.</p> <p><strong>Don’t insult their career</strong></p> <p>When you’re in a relationship, you shouldn’t have to earn respect. Rather, it should be given unconditionally. That’s why you’re being offensive and insulting when you say comments like “I’m going to do it anyway; I don’t care what you say” or “You look like you’ve put on a few kilos.” Your partner thinks you’re saying they’re not good enough. “You don’t want to belittle, put down or marginalise your partner,” says House. “You’ll be initiating insecurity, defensiveness, resentment and anger. You’re cracking the foundation and those cracks go deep and can be hard to repair.”</p> <p><strong>Don’t make them feel dumb</strong></p> <p>This is a classic example of something you shouldn’t say, pretty much ever. No one likes to be told they’re dumb or feel belittled. “The unspoken and unwelcome message is that you’re smarter than your partner,” says Lloyd. “This type of comment does nothing to remedy the situation at hand.” When things go how you predicted rather than how your spouse expected, they are more than aware of the outcome, says Lloyd. And they don’t need to be reminded.</p> <p><strong>Don’t be overly sarcastic</strong></p> <p>“The dishwasher won’t get unpacked on its own.” “Do I look like a babysitter?” Words of sarcasm may seem harmless at first, but they can be used to dig at your partner and communicate that you’ve been frustrated by an unmet expectation. “Sarcastic comments that put your partner down will erode the relationship and are likely to leave your partner feeling frustrated,” says Hall. She suggests that you deal with the issue from a loving and genuine place, which is more likely to be heard by your partner.</p> <p><strong>Don’t be their biggest critic</strong></p> <p>“While ‘stupid’ isn’t a curse word, it’s hurtful,” says April Masini, a relationship and etiquette expert and author. “It’s often worse than any other word.” The same goes for “What’s wrong with you?” “What kind of father/mother does that?” or “That’s an awful idea.” Your partner wants you to be his cheerleader, not feel like you’re on different teams or that you don’t believe in him. You shouldn’t be his biggest critic, but rather, his biggest fan. “Supporting your partner is an essential part of a happy, healthy and successful relationship,” says Hall. “Unsupportive phrases will wear on your partner’s self-esteem, and ultimately, the relationship. Show you care about your partner, and they’ll be far more likely to want to be supportive and caring back.”</p> <p><strong>Don’t overuse “I” statements</strong></p> <p>When you care more about yourself than your spouse, you often start sentences with “I.” “I want that pair of shoes.” “Just get it done; I don’t care what happens along the way.” Instead of it being about your partner, it’s all about you. And your partner may even fear that you’re going to cheat on him or her. “If you tell him that he can’t meet your needs, he may assume that you’ll find someone who will,” says House. “That’s initiating and instilling insecurity and jealousy. Name calling and threats are unhealthy and hard to forget.”</p> <p>Remember that your partner isn’t a mind reader, says Samantha Burns, a relationship counsellor, dating coach and author of the ebook <em>Love Successfully: 10 Secrets You Need to Know Right Now</em>.</p> <p>“So if you’re feeling dissatisfied in your relationship, it’s important to address your needs in a calm, non-blaming way,” says Burns. “As soon as your partner processes something as a complaint, they’re more likely to shut down since they may feel that no matter how hard they try, it’s never good enough.”</p> <p>She suggests trying a ‘compliment sandwich,’ where you praise your partner for the effort they’re putting in currently or have given in the past; then tell them specifically what could be improved or what you need from them; and end with another positive compliment.</p> <p>You might say, “I really appreciated that last week you came home early from work. What I really need is more quality time with you during the weeknights so that I feel more connected to you. When you carve out time to give me your undivided attention, I feel so loved.”</p> <p><strong>Don’t bring up your ex</strong></p> <p>When you’re angry or disappointed in your partner, it’s easy to start making comparisons. “Never compare your current spouse to any prior relationships,” says Mike Goldstein, founder and lead dating coach of EZ Dating Coach. “If the relationship was so amazing with your ex, you’d probably still be with that person.” Focus on constructive conversation instead, saying something like, “You’d make me really happy if you did XYZ.” And you’re more likely to get your needs met when you keep your ex out of the equation. “In this moment of dissatisfaction, you’re minimising the things that you adore and cherish about your partner and maximising an idealised version of your ex,” Burns says.</p> <p><strong>Don’t make disparaging statements about their family</strong></p> <p>You may despise your mother-in-law. “But never touch that one unless you want big trouble,” says Masini. “There is no defence that your partner can offer that will offset your insult.” Only speak of her in respectful terms and frame any concerns in the context of wanting to be helpful (“Her house is always so cold – do you think we should look into problems with the heat?”). The same goes for your partner’s children from prior relationships, no matter how offensive you find them, says Masini. Otherwise, expect major backlash.</p> <p><em>Written by Stacey Feintuch. This article first appeared in </em><span><a href="https://www.readersdigest.com.au/true-stories-lifestyle/relationships/14-things-you-should-never-say-to-your-spouse"><em>Reader’s Digest</em></a><em>. For more of what you love from the world’s best-loved magazine, </em><a href="http://readersdigest.innovations.com.au/c/readersdigestemailsubscribe?utm_source=over60&amp;utm_medium=articles&amp;utm_campaign=RDSUB&amp;keycode=WRA93V"><em>here’s our best subscription offer.</em></a></span></p> <p><img style="width: 100px !important; height: 100px !important;" src="/media/7820640/1.png" alt="" data-udi="umb://media/f30947086c8e47b89cb076eb5bb9b3e2" /></p>

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“Always remember love lasts forever”: Bindi Irwin writes sweet tribute post about late dad Steve

<p>Wildlife warrior Bindi Irwin has paid tribute to her late dad Steve Irwin on Father’s Day.</p> <p>She penned a sweet post on Instagram, reminding her fans to “always remember that love lasts forever” and added a home video of her and her father.</p> <p>The film was a montage that was comprised of moments that were captured on film of Steve playing with Bindi and her soft toys when she was younger.</p> <p>There’s an adorable scene where Steve is seen smiling widely and doting on his daughter.</p> <p>He’s talking to Terri Irwin and can be heard saying “Look at my baby”.</p> <blockquote style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/B11-jq8hW0j/" data-instgrm-version="12"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"></div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"></div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"></div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <p style="margin: 8px 0 0 0; padding: 0 4px;"><a style="color: #000; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none; word-wrap: break-word;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/B11-jq8hW0j/" target="_blank">It’s Father’s Day here in Australia❤️ Reflecting on these wonderful moments. Hug the people in your life who bring light to your heart and always remember that love lasts forever.</a></p> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;">A post shared by <a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/bindisueirwin/" target="_blank"> Bindi Irwin</a> (@bindisueirwin) on Aug 31, 2019 at 2:28pm PDT</p> </div> </blockquote> <p>The home video montage can also be seen showing the small family helping Bindi walk as they cross over the border in NSW.</p> <p>Bindi accompanied the montage with a touching tribute to dad Steve.</p> <p>“Father's Day here in Australia. Reflecting on these wonderful moments," Bindi wrote.</p> <p>“Hug the people in your life who bring light to your heart and always remember that love lasts forever.”</p> <p>Fans were quick to rally around her, commenting about how much her father would miss her.</p> <p>“This is the best. Can see so much love and admiration in your eyes as you watch him. So beautiful,” one fan wrote.</p> <p>“World misses your father very much.”</p>

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“We have the power:” Prince Harry and Duchess Meghan make social media plea

<p>The Duke and Duchess of Sussex have shared an urgent message to their official social media accounts, and have asked their millions of fans to support a cause close to their hearts. </p> <p>The<span> </span>Blink Now<span> </span>Foundation is one of the charities the royal couple support and works to keep children in Nepal “safe, educated and loved.”</p> <p>Their support is part of both Prince Harry and Duchess Meghan’s theme for August,<span> </span>Forces For Change,<span> </span>which means the couple are sharing noteworthy causes to their supporters around the world to raise awareness. </p> <p>"Yesterday we received this message from @BlinkNowOrg, an account that you suggested we follow for this month's theme of Forces For Change, and we wanted to take this opportunity as the monthly theme comes to a close, to shine a light on this amazing organisation in Nepal and the work they are doing," The couple wrote. </p> <blockquote style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/B1tjRJ5HITc/" data-instgrm-version="12"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"></div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"></div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"></div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/B1tjRJ5HITc/" target="_blank">A post shared by The Duke and Duchess of Sussex (@sussexroyal)</a> on Aug 28, 2019 at 7:59am PDT</p> </div> </blockquote> <p>"The Blink Now organisation's journey started on the very real concept where one young woman decided to help one young girl, hoping to make one small difference.</p> <p>"Today the Blink Now organisation provides a loving home for over 40 children, a school for 350 young students, a safe house for ten of their most at-risk female students, a new school campus made from the earth and many more incredible initiatives. 'We have the power to create the world we want to see every day' - Founder Maggie Doyne.</p> <p>Alongside the lengthy post was a clip showing excited children from the foundation thanking the royals for their support. </p> <p>“Namaskar, Meghan and Harry. We’re so thankful that you chose to support BlinkNow as a Force for Change.”</p> <p>Since creating their Instagram account this year, the Duke and Duchess have chosen a special theme for each month - including important environmental issues and LGBTQ+ causes. </p> <p>In May, the power couple focussed on mental health awareness. </p> <p>This year, the royals are planning to travel to Africa for a royal tour, and excitingly enough will bring along with them baby Archie - who turns four months old on September 6.</p>

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12 proven steps to truly forgive anyone for anything

<p>Robert Enright, PhD, is a pioneer in the scientific study of forgiveness. Here, he breaks down his four-phase model that has helped countless patients overcome anxiety, depression and resentment, by allowing them to truly forgive.</p> <p><strong>Know that forgiveness is available to everyone</strong></p> <p>Everyone has someone who’s wronged them in one way or another – be it a parent who neglected them growing up, a spouse who cheated on them in a rocky relationship, or even a person who stood them up on a set of plans. Not all these injustices result in long-lasting internal disruption – which can be identified by symptoms like fatigue, disruption in sleep, anxiety, depression and other forms of unhealthy anger. But when they do, it’s important to know that forgiveness is an option. “When we’ve been treated deeply unfairly by others, we should have the tools to deal with that, so the effects of that injustice don’t take hold in an unhealthy way,” says Enright. What’s more, you don’t need a mental health professional to teach you how to forgive. It’s something you can achieve on your own, as long as you know which steps to take.</p> <p><strong>Decide you want to choose forgiveness</strong></p> <p>The first step toward achieving forgiveness is deciding it’s something you actually want to do, not something someone has pressured you into trying. “People should not be forced into forgiving,” says Enright. “I think it’s important that people are drawn to it.” Enright also stresses that forgiveness doesn’t mean excusing or forgetting an injustice, or returning to a relationship that’s harmful. “Some people misconstrue forgiveness and say, well, if I forgive then I can’t seek fairness,” he says. “That’s one of the big criticisms of forgiveness, which is not true.”</p> <p style="font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit;"><strong>Make a list</strong></p> <p>Start the process of forgiveness with this preliminary step: Make a list of all the people who have hurt you, no matter how small or large, going back to childhood. Next, order the names from the lowest level of injustice and anger to the highest. You’ll start the process of forgiveness with someone toward the bottom of the list. “Starting with the highest person on the list would be like asking someone who’s not physically fit to run a marathon,” says Enright. “Go through the process first with someone who is still bothering you, and it’s not pleasant, but it’s also not crushing. As you repeat the process moving higher and higher up the list, you’ll become more forgivingly fit, and better able to face those people who have truly hurt you.”</p> <p style="font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit;"><strong>Uncover your anger</strong></p> <p>This is the official start to phase one of Enright’s forgiveness model, and it’s crucial in reinforcing the importance of forgiveness. “It’s kind of a checklist,” says Enright. “How are you doing in terms of your anger? How have you been denying it? Are you angrier that you thought you were? What are the physical consequences of your anger?” Fatigue is the most common physical complaint Enright hears, as is a pessimistic worldview – believing no one can be trusted or that everyone is only out for themselves. “Once you look at those effects, the question becomes, Do you want to heal?” says Enright. “Which leads us into phase two: deciding to forgive.”</p> <p><strong>Commit to forgiveness</strong></p> <p>Phase two is all about revisiting the definition of forgiveness and committing to it. That definition, more or less, is being good to those who weren’t good to you. “Once people have completed phase one and seen how the effects of their anger have made them unhappy, there’s a tendency to give this a try,” says Enright. In this phase, it’s also important to commit to doing no harm toward the person you’re trying to forgive. “That doesn’t mean be good to them,” says Enright. “It just means don’t do anything negative.”</p> <p style="font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit;"><strong>Consider the other person’s wounds</strong></p> <p>This step starts the “work” phase of the forgiveness model. The goal is to ultimately feel compassion for the other person, but don’t start there. Instead, think about them in a new way. How was that person hurt in life? How were they treated unjustly? Are they so wounded that they wounded you? “We don’t do this to excuse their actions, but to see a vulnerable person, a scared person, maybe a confused person. Someone who is not infallible and all-powerful,” says Enright.</p> <p style="font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit;"><strong>Consider the other person’s humanity</strong></p> <p>Now that you’ve assessed the person’s woundedness, consider how you share a common humanity. “You were both born, you will both die, you both bleed when you’re cut, you both have unique DNA and when you die there will never be another person like you,” says Enright. “And given the humanity, you share with this person, is it possible that they might be just as special, unique and irreplaceable as you are?”</p> <p><strong>Feel a softening</strong></p> <p>It could take weeks or even months, but you should begin to feel a change of heart. “When the person’s feelings start to change, that’s the beginning of the unhealthy anger starting to leave,” says Enright. “It’s a tiny glimmering of compassion.”</p> <p><strong>Bear the pain</strong></p> <p>Once you’ve begun to feel a softening, the next step is to accept the pain. “We don’t ask people to get rid of the pain,” says Enright, “but to stand with the pain.” That means not passing your pain onto others, in many cases offspring. “It builds self-esteem because you’re saying, ‘If I can see the humanity in the one who didn’t see the humanity in me, and if I can soften my heart to the one who didn’t to me, then who am I as a person? I’m stronger than I thought.’”</p> <p><strong>Give the person a gift</strong></p> <p>No, we don’t mean you have to buy them a set of candles. But Enright does encourage doing something good to the one who hurt you in some creative way or another. “If the person is a danger to you, you don’t have to let them know you’re doing this,” he says. “You can donate some money to a charity in their name, send an email that hasn’t been sent in a year, or if you have direct contact, give them a smile or a kind word.” Doing so doesn’t mean you must interact with the person or reconcile, just that you’re willing to do something good to the one who hurt you.</p> <p><strong>Begin the discovery phase</strong></p> <p>This is the fourth and final phase of the forgiveness model. During it, you’ll find meaning in what you’ve suffered. “Typically, people are more aware of the wounds in the world,” says Enright. “They become more patient with people who might be having a bad day; they see that people are walking around wounded all the time, and they’re generally more aware of others’ pain and want to be a conduit for good.” And once you’ve got that worldview, you can begin to thrive in life again.</p> <p><strong>Repeat, repeat, repeat</strong></p> <p>Since you likely didn’t start this process with the person who’s hurt you most, you’ll have to repeat the pathway on each person you’re hoping to forgive. Enright suggests keeping a journal or enlisting a trusted friend or family member to keep you on the path. It helps to set aside around 15 minutes a few times a week to work on the process, but it’s all about quality over quantity.</p> <p><em>Written by Juliana LaBianca. This article first appeared in </em><span><a href="https://www.readersdigest.com.au/true-stories-lifestyle/relationships/12-proven-steps-to-truly-forgive-anyone-for-anything"><em>Reader’s Digest</em></a><em>. For more of what you love from the world’s best-loved magazine, </em><a href="http://readersdigest.innovations.com.au/c/readersdigestemailsubscribe?utm_source=over60&amp;utm_medium=articles&amp;utm_campaign=RDSUB&amp;keycode=WRA93V"><em>here’s our best subscription offer.</em></a></span></p> <p><img style="width: 100px !important; height: 100px !important;" src="/media/7820640/1.png" alt="" data-udi="umb://media/f30947086c8e47b89cb076eb5bb9b3e2" /></p>

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Osher Günsberg’s pens emotional letter to wife and new baby boy

<p>Osher Günsberg and his wife Audrey Griffen have welcomed their first child together, baby “Wolfie” Wolfgang. </p> <p>The<span> </span><em>Bachelor Australia<span> </span></em>host shared a sweet post in honour of his newest addition to the family - with a heartfelt message to both Audrey and baby Wolfgang. </p> <p>"I am in complete awe of my wife," he wrote.</p> <blockquote style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/B1ldaeEgcwd/" data-instgrm-version="12"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"></div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"></div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"></div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/B1ldaeEgcwd/" target="_blank">A post shared by Osher Günsberg (@osher_gunsberg)</a> on Aug 25, 2019 at 4:29am PDT</p> </div> </blockquote> <p>"What I witnessed her do, the power I saw her summon from within her to bring this boy into the world was utterly astonishing. ⁠⁠As he came closer and closer, her body began to unleash an incredible energy that was absolutely not going to be held back. ⁠⁠</p> <p>"Yet Audrey was able to harness it, guide it, and use it to transcend the extraordinary pain she was feeling and channel it all towards an energy that brought this boy alive and well into the world.⁠"</p> <blockquote style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/ByNG3DqDKYE/" data-instgrm-version="12"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"></div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"></div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"></div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/ByNG3DqDKYE/" target="_blank">A post shared by Osher Günsberg (@osher_gunsberg)</a> on Jun 2, 2019 at 3:56am PDT</p> </div> </blockquote> <p>Günsberg and Griffin first met on the set of<span> </span><em>The Bachelor<span> </span></em>back in 2014. </p> <p>"That I've known Audrey for over five years, and yet had no idea that within her this whole time was an almighty divine force capable of bringing life into the world like this blows my mind and was astonishing to witness," he continued.</p> <p>"⁠⁠I can't think of any single thing a man does in his life that physically equates to what I saw Audrey do. ⁠⁠</p> <p>"For me – any marathon or endurance event I've ever raced is essentially a wander to the kitchen compared to what I saw Audrey do on Friday."</p> <blockquote style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/BfN95JWBb8b/" data-instgrm-version="12"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"></div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"></div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"></div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BfN95JWBb8b/" target="_blank">A post shared by Osher Günsberg (@osher_gunsberg)</a> on Feb 15, 2018 at 5:00am PST</p> </div> </blockquote> <p>Gunsberg also mentioned his step-daughter, 14-year-old Georgia, who in the past he has called the “light of his life.” </p> <p>“Less than an hour after he was born, Wolfie met G for real - and she’s the best big sister he could have ever hoped for,” the Studio 10 TV presenter added. </p> <p>While she wasn’t able to be in the room to witness her mother give birth, she managed to give her own gift to welcome the arrival of her new brother. </p> <p>Georgia prepared a playlist for the occasion - with the likes of Kendrick Lamar, Beyonce and Khalid serenading the room. </p> <blockquote style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/BfVVKO9hq0f/" data-instgrm-version="12"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"></div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"></div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"></div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BfVVKO9hq0f/" target="_blank">A post shared by Osher Günsberg (@osher_gunsberg)</a> on Feb 18, 2018 at 1:38am PST</p> </div> </blockquote> <p>Osher announced he and Audrey were expecting back in February.</p> <p> "Our lives are already so full of love and adventures and I’m blessed to have such an amazing daughter in Georgia. Looking forward to meeting this little one and expanding my heart even more," Audrey wrote at the time.</p>

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Why everyone should know their attachment style

<p>If you’ve suffered from anxiety, depression or relationship problems, a psychological theory called “<a href="https://www.psychologistworld.com/developmental/attachment-theory">attachment theory</a>” can help you get to the root cause of your difficulties and give you a greater understanding of what’s going on.</p> <p>Attachment theory was developed by British psychiatrist <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Bowlby">John Bowlby</a> in the 1960s. The theory explains how our brains are programmed to help us survive and thrive in the environment we are born into.</p> <p>Our self-esteem, ability to control our emotions and the quality of our relationships are all affected by our attachment style. We’ve known for over 50 years that attachment styles can <a href="https://www.abebe.org.br/files/John-Bowlby-Attachment-Second-Edition-Attachment-and-Loss-Series-Vol-1-1983.pdf">predict and explain</a> children’s behaviour. More <a href="https://www.guilford.com/books/Attachment-in-Adulthood/Mikulincer-Shaver/9781462533817/reviews">recent research</a> has shown that attachment styles also continue to affect our behaviour in adulthood.</p> <p><strong>Four attachment styles</strong></p> <p>Infants develop one of <a href="https://www.routledge.com/Why-Dont-I-Feel-Good-Enough-Using-Attachment-Theory-to-Find-a-Solution/Dent/p/book/9781138943513">four main attachment styles</a> in response to the care they receive from their parents or other carers during infancy. Carers who are sensitive to children’s needs foster a “secure attachment style”. Carers who become distressed and retreat when their children are upset create an “avoidant attachment style”. Carers who respond sensitively but are often distracted from their caregiving create an “anxious attachment style”. And carers who harm their children through neglect or abuse, create a “disorganised attachment style”.</p> <p>As children, we develop an attachment style that keeps us safe by programming us to behave in certain ways towards our carer when we are anxious or afraid. These behaviours elicit a response from our carer that, ideally, should be protective.</p> <p>Our brains are programmed through the relationship with our main carer. During this process, we learn to recognise and control our emotions and we create a “template” that guides our social interactions and informs us whether and how we are valued by other people.</p> <p><strong>Faulty template</strong></p> <p>Someone with a secure attachment style feels valued by others, can rely on them to be helpful and is able to control their emotions. At the other end of the spectrum, someone with a disorganised style does not feel valued by others, easily loses control of their emotions and resorts to manipulative behaviour to coerce others into providing help.</p> <p>When we feel anxious or fearful, the template created during infancy tells us how to respond. The world we live in now is often different from the one we were born into when our attachment style was forming, so our response to life’s events may be unsuitable. For example, someone with an anxious attachment style who constantly talks about their latest problem may lose friends who become frustrated by their inability to help.</p> <p>Research shows that attachment style affects our performance in many areas of life, including <a href="https://bit.ly/2zjIVZE">physical and mental health</a>, finding a compatible romantic partner, and our behaviour in family, social and work contexts. Attachment style even affects the type of <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/13674676.2014.906394?scroll=top&amp;needAccess=true&amp;journalCode=cmhr20&amp;">religious belief we hold</a>, our <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0092656611000584">relationships with pets</a> and whether our <a href="https://researchonline.jcu.edu.au/19819/">home feels like a haven</a>.</p> <p>Once you know your own attachment style – which you can easily discover by completing an <a href="http://www.web-research-design.net/cgi-bin/crq/crq.pl">online survey</a> – you will be able to predict what your response is likely to be in different circumstances. For example, if you have an avoidant attachment style, you fear rejection and may decide not to go for a promotion at work.</p> <p>When you realise that your fear of rejection is caused by your carer’s own difficulties when you were little, it may help you change your own mindset. Taking such positive steps can help you <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/23398032">develop a more secure attachment style</a>. So take steps to <a href="https://www.routledge.com/Why-Dont-I-Feel-Good-Enough-Using-Attachment-Theory-to-Find-a-Solution/Dent/p/book/9781138943513">find out what your attachment style is</a> – it can only be of benefit.<!-- Below is The Conversation's page counter tag. Please DO NOT REMOVE. --><img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important; text-shadow: none !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/105321/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /><!-- End of code. If you don't see any code above, please get new code from the Advanced tab after you click the republish button. The page counter does not collect any personal data. More info: http://theconversation.com/republishing-guidelines --></p> <p><em>Written by <span>Helen Dent, Emeritus Professor of Clinical and Forensic Psychology, Staffordshire University</span>. Republished with permission of </em><a rel="noopener" href="https://theconversation.com/why-everyone-should-know-their-attachment-style-105321" target="_blank"><em>The Conversation</em></a><em>. </em></p>

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Why some couples split early after marrying

<p><span>Long before Meghan Markle tied the knot with Prince Harry and became the Duchess of Sussex, she was married to film director Trevor Engelson. Their marriage lasted less than two years, with the couple divorcing in August 2013. </span></p> <p><span>The couple is just one of the many who split early after marrying – Nicolas Cage and Lisa Marie Presley, Kid Rock and Pamela Anderson, Cher and Greg Allman all ended their marriages within months or even days. </span></p> <p><span>Many may be wondering why unions crumble so quickly after taking vows, but a popular wisdom may explain the phenomenon – “the first year of marriage is the hardest”.</span></p> <p><span>According to the 2012 <a href="http://www.australianunity.com.au/health-insurance/sitecore/content/about-us/home/news-and-views/news-folder/first-year-of-marriage-unhappiest">Australian Unity Wellbeing Index</a>, people who had been married for less than a year reported lower levels of wellbeing than people in any other year of marriage. While married people were doing better in terms of well being than those who were single, divorced, separated or widowed, the first year of marriage was found to be the unhappiest. </span></p> <p><span>“One might be tempted to think newly-married couples are blissfully happy and over the years that feeling will gradually abate as they settle into a long life together, but this turns out not to be the case,” said the report’s lead author Dr Melissa Weinberg of Deakin University’s Australian Centre on Quality of Life.</span></p> <p><span>“Big changes occur in the first year of married life, and not all of them are comfortable for newlyweds … it boils down to what I call a wedding hangover, couples building up to the wedding day as the best day of their life, and then finding reality biting as they tote up their wedding bills and get back to work after the honeymoon.”</span></p> <p><span>Relationship therapist Aimee Hartstein said apart from dealing with an “anti-climax post wedding”, newly married couples also need to cope with the pressure of the commitment. “It’s simply different from cohabitation,” Hartstein told <a href="https://www.brides.com/story/the-first-year-of-marriage-is-tough"><em>Brides</em></a>. </span></p> <p><span>“Even though they look like the same thing, with cohabitation there’s always a relatively easy out. With marriage, you have signed a binding contract. You are in a permanent union and the stakes just feel higher. Every fight or disappointment within the marriage may feel more significant and more loaded because this is it.”</span></p> <p><span>Psychologist and relationship expert Sabina Read said couples need to investigate what’s behind their decision to get hitched. “I think some people do have a fantasy that marriage will shift the challenges, and something will change magically because we have made a formal commitment to each other,” Read told the <a href="https://www.smh.com.au/lifestyle/life-and-relationships/it-is-confusing-when-a-couple-splits-very-early-after-marrying-20190813-p52gol.html"><em>Sydney Morning Herald</em></a>. </span></p> <p><span>“The fantasy of marriage is still quite strong. But things don’t change because we exchange vows.”</span></p> <p><span>However, Weinberg said couples who manage to survive their first year of marriage are more likely to have higher life satisfaction. “The message for newly married couples is to persevere through that first frantic year, and reap the rewards later.”</span></p>

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Royal heartache: Why the Queen felt “great sadness” over grandson Prince William

<p>There is no doubt the Queen and her grandson - as well as heir to the throne - Prince William would share a particularly special bond. </p> <p>The British monarch has been training the royal for his position to one day take the crown since he was just a teenager. </p> <p>However, the two were not always so close. </p> <p>Royal Biographer Ingrid Seward wrote about their complex relationship in her book<span> </span><em>My Husband and I: The Inside Story of 70 Years of the Royal Marriage.</em></p> <p>The 37-year-old is next in line to the throne after his father, Prince Charles and has been aware of his impending responsibilities since he was just 13-years-old. </p> <p>It was around this time when the breakdown of Prince Charles’ and Princess Diana’s marriage began. </p> <p>The couple would divorce in 1996 and not long after that, Princess Di’s explosive interview with BBC’s<span> </span><em>Panorama<span> </span></em>program which shared the inner details of the Royal family would air. </p> <p>In this documentary, the mother-to-two would admit she struggled to fit into the famous family. </p> <p>She was also asked if she thought Prince Charles would ever be kind to which she said:"I don't think any of us know the answer to that.</p> <p>"And obviously it's a question that's in everybody's head. But who knows, who knows what fate will produce, who knows what circumstances will provoke?"</p> <p>The royal went on to add: "There was always conflict on that subject with him when we discussed it, and I understood that conflict, because it's a very demanding role, being Prince of Wales, but it's an equally more demanding role being King.</p> <p>"And being Prince of Wales produces more freedom now, and being King would be a little bit more suffocating.</p> <p>"And because I know the character I would think that the top job, as I call it, would bring enormous limitations to him, and I don't know whether he could adapt to that."</p> <p>Princess Diana was later asked if the title of King should go directly to their eldest son, Prince William. </p> <p>"Well, then you have to see that William's very young at the moment, so do you want a burden like that to be put on his shoulders at such an age?” she said. </p> <p>“...I can't answer that question."</p> <p>Seward said the interview created fairs within the royal household that perhaps Princess Di was not giving her son the proper guidance and leadership to one day be King. </p> <p>"The one person who could help, who had to help, was the Queen," she wrote in the book. "She knew only too well what pressures William was facing. She told her advisers she feared he might crack up like his mother had."</p> <blockquote style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/B1YO2QMHXVv/" data-instgrm-version="12"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"></div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"></div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"></div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/B1YO2QMHXVv/" target="_blank">A post shared by Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II (@hermajestyqueenelizabethii_fan)</a> on Aug 20, 2019 at 1:11am PDT</p> </div> </blockquote> <p>The Royal autobiographer said this is when the Queen began to have lunches with her grandson. </p> <p>"They talked in a way they never could have done before. One of her great sadnesses was that, until the separation, she had hardly seen him.”</p> <p>“Now, at last, she was able to do so on a regular basis and form a proper relationship.”</p> <p>"In this quiet intimacy, the Queen was able to impress upon William that the institution of the monarchy was something to be upheld and respected, and worth preserving."</p> <p>Queen Elizabeth has also made sure Catherine, the Duchess of Cambridge has had training for eventual role as Queen Consort. </p> <blockquote style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/B1YF-zhIyGO/" data-instgrm-version="12"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"></div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"></div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"></div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/B1YF-zhIyGO/" target="_blank">A post shared by William&amp;Catherine (@familyofwilliamandcatherine)</a> on Aug 19, 2019 at 11:54pm PDT</p> </div> </blockquote> <p>Her Majesty did not have the proper training when she ascended the British throne. </p> <p>During her grandfather’s throne, a younger Princess Elizabeth was third in line behind her Uncle Edward, and her father. </p> <p>Due to this, she was not expected to be the Queen. </p> <p>However, once her grandfather passed away in 1936, her uncle succeeded to the throne but later abdicated so he could propose his divorced girlfriend, Wallis Simpson. </p> <p>Princess Elizabeth eventually became the Queen when her father passed away, at the tender age of 25. </p> <p>Scroll through the gallery above to see Queen Elizabeth and Prince William throughout the years. </p>

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Prince Charles' real "soulmate" revealed

<p>A royal biographer claims Prince Charles has a real “soulmate” that he had fallen for, before Princess Camilla, or even Princess Di. </p> <p>Penny Juror said Prince Charles was romantically linked to a younger woman after he was involved with Duchess Camilla in the early seventies and before he married the late Princess Di on July 29, 1981. </p> <p>The woman was Davina Sheffield, and according to Juror was a woman who “seemed ideal in many ways.”</p> <p>Prince Charles was the most eligible bachelor in the world throughout the 70’s and 80’s. </p> <p>Juror wrote in her 2005 book<span> </span>The Firm,<span> </span>that Prince Charles ruined the relationship he began with beautiful and alluring Davina by rekindling with his old flame, Camilla. </p> <blockquote style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/BwUt-IoDSuw/" data-instgrm-version="12"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"></div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"></div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"></div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <p style="margin: 8px 0 0 0; padding: 0 4px;"><a style="color: #000; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none; word-wrap: break-word;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BwUt-IoDSuw/" target="_blank">Mrs Jake Morley [nee Davina Mary Sheffield] born 1 March 1950; former girlfriend of the Prince of Wales; sister-in-law of Miranda, Duchess of Beaufort. #DavinaMorley #DavinaSheffield #fawbs</a></p> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;">A post shared by <a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/ernest_fawbert/" target="_blank"> Fawbert</a> (@ernest_fawbert) on Apr 16, 2019 at 9:49am PDT</p> </div> </blockquote> <p>"In 1976, the prince fell for another girl, Davina Sheffield, who could have been the soulmate he was searching for," she wrote. </p> <p>"She seemed ideal in so many ways, and they appeared to be very much in love. </p> <p>"But she already had a boyfriend when Charles met her, an Old Harrovian and powerboat racer named James Beard. </p> <p>"Davina initially rebuffed invitations to have dinner with the Prince, but he was so persistent that she eventually succumbed and the boyfriend soon fell by the wayside. </p> <p>"He was subsequently conned into talking about his relationship with Davina by what turned out to be a Sunday tabloid reporter and the story of their affair, complete with photographs of their 'love nest', made headline news. </p> <p>"It killed the relationship stone dead." </p> <p>The couple were introduced by Charle’s sister Princess Anne. Davina is the granddaughter of the first Lord McGowan and the cousin of Samantha Cameron. </p> <p>The Prince later met a beautiful Scottish heiress Anna Wallace who Juror wrote also could have been Charle’s true soul mate - despite the relationship not being supported by his family. </p> <p>Juror wrote in her 2017 book,<span> </span>The Duchess<span> </span>that Wallace had dumped the then handsome prince in a fit of rage over his relationship with Duchess Camilla. </p> <p>"Charles had taken her to two successive balls and then danced with Camilla for most of both evenings," she wrote. </p> <p>"Anna dumped him with the words: 'No one treats me like that – not even you.'"</p> <p>Prince Charles met his future wife, Princess Diana in November of 1977, whilst he was with her older sister, Lady Sarah. </p> <p>The two later married in 1981 at St Paul’s Cathedral and became the Princess of Wales. </p> <p>They shared two children, Prince William and Prince Harry, before she passed away in a tragic car accident in 1997. </p> <p>Scroll through the gallery above to see the two woman Prince Charles was linked to before he married Princess Diana.</p>

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Language of love: A quarter of Australians are in inter-ethnic relationships

<p>Australians have become much more diverse over the last few decades. In 2018, 29 per cent of Australians were <a href="https://www.abs.gov.au/AUSSTATS/abs@.nsf/Latestproducts/3412.0Main%20Features22017-18?opendocument&amp;tabname=Summary&amp;prodno=3412.0&amp;issue=2017-18&amp;num=&amp;view=">born overseas</a>, the most it has ever been since the late 19th century.</p> <p>This diversity has influenced who people choose to be in a relationship with.</p> <p>This year, the Household, Income and Labour Dynamics in Australia (HILDA) Survey released data on inter-ethnic couples – couples where the partners were born in different countries – in Australia. The survey found that in 2017, around one in four relationships in Australia were inter-ethnic.</p> <p>In fact, <a href="https://tapri.org.au/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/v17n1_2khoobirrellheard.pdf">sociologists</a> suggest that inter-ethnic partnering is a sign of social integration and cohesion. If this is the case, multi-ethnic Australia isn’t doing so bad, with almost half of the migrant population choosing a partner from a different country, despite the language and cultural challenges these relationships may sometimes bring.</p> <p>But before we talk about our findings, two caveats should be mentioned. First, country of birth is only a proxy measure for ethnicity since people born in the same country can be of different ethnicities, and people born in different countries can be of the same ethnicity.</p> <p>Second, due to the HILDA sampling design, people who migrated to Australia after 2011 have a very small chance of being included in the study. This means the results can only be considered representative of people migrating to Australia prior to 2011.</p> <p><strong>Growing diversity</strong></p> <p>Australia’s share of overseas-born people is <a href="https://www.oecd-ilibrary.org/social-issues-migration-health/foreign-born-population/indicator/english_5a368e1b-en">among the highest in the OECD</a>. And the range of <a href="https://www.aph.gov.au/About_Parliament/Parliamentary_Departments/Parliamentary_Library/pubs/rp/rp1819/BornOverseas">birth countries</a> of our overseas-born population has broadened.</p> <p>In the immediate post-war era of 1947, fewer than 10 per cent of Australians were born in a different country. And 79 per cent of these overseas-born Australians came from the UK, Ireland or New Zealand. Now, Australians stem from a larger variety of countries, with more people being born, for example, in China, India or the Philippines.</p> <p>Still, around 75 per cent of Australian couples in 2017 consisted of partners who were born in the same country. Not surprisingly, the vast majority of these are couples where both partners were born in Australia, accounting for 56 per cent of all couples.</p> <p>Most inter-ethnic couples are made up of one Australian-born and the other born in a Main English-Speaking (MES) country – that is, the UK, Ireland, New Zealand, Canada, the US and South Africa.</p> <p><iframe id="3wPwJ" class="tc-infographic-datawrapper" src="https://datawrapper.dwcdn.net/3wPwJ/3/" height="400px" width="100%" style="border: none;" frameborder="0"></iframe></p> <p><strong>Who is most likely to be in an inter-ethnic relationship?</strong></p> <p>For starters, the chances of partnering with someone from another country differ vastly by region.</p> <p>Australian-born people who live outside the capital cities are less likely to live in an inter-ethnic relationship than those in the capital cities.</p> <p>In contrast, overseas-born people outside the capital cities are more likely to live in an inter-ethnic relationship than those living in the capital cities.</p> <p>Both findings have to do with the pool of potential mates people meet in their neighbourhoods. On average, fewer overseas-born people live outside the capital cities. This means both Australian-born and overseas-born people living in these regions are more likely to partner with an Australian-born.</p> <p>Yet, maybe surprisingly, there are also gender differences. Australian-born women are significantly more likely to live in an inter-ethnic relationship than their male counterparts. And in particular, they appear to be more likely to partner with someone from New Zealand or the UK.</p> <p>In part, this result can be traced back to the opportunities. People born in the MES countries are the most likely to partner with an Australian-born person. And there are just more male than female New Zealanders and UK-born people around.</p> <p>Who your parents are matters too. Within the group of Australian-born people, those with at least one parent born overseas are more likely to live in an inter-ethnic relationship than Australian-born people with two parents that were born here.</p> <p>And a higher age at the start of the relationship, a higher educational qualification, progressive attitudes towards marriage and children, and an openness to experience, also promote inter-ethnic relationships.</p> <p>Inter-ethnic couples not only connect two individuals, but entire families and communities of different ethnic backgrounds. They help break down boundaries between these ethnic groups and weaken prejudice and stereotypes.</p> <p>Having one in four couples being inter-ethnic is indicative of an open Australian society that embraces its vibrant ethnic and cultural diversity.</p> <p><em>Written by <span>Inga Lass, Academic, Melbourne Institute of Applied Economic and Social Research, University of Melbourne</span>. Republished with permission of </em><a rel="noopener" href="https://theconversation.com/language-of-love-a-quarter-of-australians-are-in-inter-ethnic-relationships-120416" target="_blank"><em>The Conversation</em></a><em>. </em></p>

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