Relationships

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Meet Anthony Albanese’s former wife Carmel Tebbutt

<p>Anthony Albanese is a name people all over Australia have only just become well acquainted with over the last few days and weeks.</p> <p>The 56-year-old MP for Grayndler in Sydney’s west might just be our next Labor leader and perhaps eventually our next Prime Minister.</p> <p>Just this week, the minister announced his intention to run for the Labor leadership following what some would consider a shocking turn of events at the last federal election.</p> <p>However, the public are not well aware of his personal life – including his marriage to Carmel Tebbutt.</p> <p>In January 2019, Albanese released a short statement announcing the separation between him and his former wife.</p> <p>“I am deeply saddened that my relationship of over 30 years with Carmel Tebbutt has ended in separation,” he wrote.</p> <blockquote style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/Bnpt0G7hZXR/" data-instgrm-version="12"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"></div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"></div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"></div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/Bnpt0G7hZXR/" target="_blank">A post shared by Anthony Albanese (@albomp)</a> on Sep 12, 2018 at 8:49pm PDT</p> </div> </blockquote> <p>“We will continue to share parenting responsibilities of our 18-year-old son Nathan, who has successfully completed his HSC and has developed into an outstanding young man who we are both proud of.</p> <p>“There are no third parties involved.”</p> <p>Anthony and Carmel both met in the late 1980s and were once hailed a power couple as they rose through the ranks of federal and state politics by each other’s side.</p> <p>“My special thanks go to my partner and best friend, Carmel Tebbutt, for her constant support, advice and outstanding political judgement,” Mr Albanese said in his maiden speech as the Federal Member for Grayndler.</p> <blockquote style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/BVWrOTpAx66/" data-instgrm-version="12"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"></div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"></div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"></div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BVWrOTpAx66/" target="_blank">A post shared by Anthony Albanese (@albomp)</a> on Jun 15, 2017 at 1:56am PDT</p> </div> </blockquote> <p>Ms Tebbutt started working for the NSW Government in 1999 as the Minister for Juvenile Justice and then as the Minister for Health, Minister for Education and Training, Minister for Community Services and Minister for Climate Change and the Environment.</p> <p>She was also the Deputy Premier of NSW from 2008 to 2011.</p> <p>“My wife, to declare an interest, was the Deputy Premier at the time – Carmel Tebbutt – and they campaigned right up to election day knowing full well that there was no prospect of success at the end of that after 16 years in office,” Mr Albanese said in an on-air radio interview with FIVEaa.</p> <p>Tebbutt was the first-ever female deputy premier of NSW, serving under Nathan Rees and Kristina Keneally before resigning from state politics at the 2015 NSW election.</p> <p>Currently, she is the chief executive of the NSW Mental Health Coordinating Council.</p>

Relationships

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Why you should date your best friend

<p>Being someone’s BFF is a big deal – you don’t hand over the other half of your “Best Friends” necklace to just anyone. Having a romantic partner who is also your best friend potentially sounds perfect. With your BFF as your romantic partner, you get the best of both worlds, someone with whom you can laugh, share your life and cuddle. When you look at seemingly happy celebrity couples like Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis, or Leslie Mann and Judd Apatow, not only do they appear to be in love, but they also seem to genuinely enjoy hanging out together.</p> <p>How many people feel as though they have attained that type of ideal? And do psychologists confirm this new paradigm is a good one to strive for? I enlisted the help of <a href="https://www.monmouth.edu/polling-institute/">Monmouth University Polling Institute</a> to investigate.</p> <p><strong>How many have two-in-one relationships?</strong></p> <p>To help figure out how many best-friend couples are out there, we asked 801 adults across the United States the <a href="https://www.monmouth.edu/polling-institute/reports/MonmouthPoll_US_020917/">following question</a>: “Do you consider your partner to be your best friend or do you call somebody else your best friend?”</p> <p><iframe src="https://datawrapper.dwcdn.net/SCoCT/2/" frameborder="0" allowtransparency="true" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen" webkitallowfullscreen="webkitallowfullscreen" mozallowfullscreen="mozallowfullscreen" oallowfullscreen="oallowfullscreen" msallowfullscreen="msallowfullscreen" width="100%" style="min-height: 415px;" height="400"></iframe></p> <p>Among adults currently in a romantic relationship, the vast majority (83 percent) considered their current partner to be their best friend. For those who are currently married, the rate was even higher. Men and women had similar rates, while younger respondents were slightly less likely than older respondents to view their partner as their best friend.</p> <p>The overall numbers from this recent poll <a href="http://doi.org/10.1177/0265407593103011">dwarf the earlier reported rate of best-friend romantic partners</a>. In a 1993 study, only 44 percent of college students indicated their romantic partner was also their best bud. The difference in best-friend/love rates – almost doubling over the past 20 years – could just be an artifact of the published research’s college student sample.</p> <p>But expectations for modern relationships have evolved in the intervening years. Compared to previous generations, today’s heterosexual men and women are more accustomed to thinking of each other as friends on equal footing, even outside of the romantic realm. Once a romantic couple forms, we’re more likely to look for more <a href="https://books.google.com/books?id=O9hBQ_GJ6XYC&amp;pg=PA64&amp;lpg=PA64#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false">egalitarian splits of power and divisions of labor</a>. We hold <a href="http://doi.org/10.1080/1047840X.2014.863723">our relationships to higher standards</a> than we have in previous decades.</p> <p>In particular, couples now expect their relationships to promote personal growth and help individuals fulfill their own goals. For example, your partner should help you become a better person by teaching you new things like how to make the perfect creme brulee, taking you places like the cool new trampoline park and opening your eyes to new perspectives such as the benefits of eating a more vegetarian-based diet. Although this expectation for growth could conceivably place an unwieldy burden on your relationship, researchers believe that <a href="http://doi.org/10.1080/1047840X.2014.878683">modern relationships are up to the task</a>. In fact, the idea that a relationship can help an individual become a better person, <a href="https://books.google.com/books?hl=en&amp;lr=&amp;id=wUcGAQAAQBAJ&amp;oi=fnd&amp;pg=PA90&amp;dq=The+self+expansion+model+of+motivation+and+cognition+in+close+relationships.&amp;ots=Y9AFoA14oe&amp;sig=KEDm0E2v5GYma63XPgJ-bcdwiRw#v=onepage&amp;q=The%20self%20expansion%20model%20of%20motivation%20and%20cognition%20in%20close%20relationships.&amp;f=false">a phenomenon that researchers call self-expansion</a>, is a useful one; relationships that provide more expansion are also of higher quality.</p> <p>In order to hit all these self-improvement targets, you may need more from a spouse or romantic partner than was expected in years past – and a partner who is also your best friend may be a step in the right direction.</p> <p>To see if those who consider their partner their best friend also expect more from them, the Monmouth University Poll asked, “For an ideal relationship, how much should you expect your partner to help you grow and expand as a person?” Our poll results indicated generally high expectations overall, and individuals with best-friend romantic partners expected a bit more from them.</p> <p>Of course, while individuals can expect more, that won’t automatically translate into better results. Think of it this way: Simply because you want more from your job, it doesn’t guarantee you’re going to get what you want.</p> <p><strong>Are best-friend partners better partners?</strong></p> <p>We wanted to see if these best-friend romances were really better. To do that, we asked poll respondents, “How satisfied are you with your current relationship – extremely, very, somewhat, not too, or not at all satisfied?” We then compared those who said their partner was their best friend to those who responded it was someone else.</p> <p><iframe src="https://datawrapper.dwcdn.net/Haw47/1/" frameborder="0" allowtransparency="true" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen" webkitallowfullscreen="webkitallowfullscreen" mozallowfullscreen="mozallowfullscreen" oallowfullscreen="oallowfullscreen" msallowfullscreen="msallowfullscreen" width="100%" height="225"></iframe></p> <p>Those who considered their partner their best friend were indeed much more satisfied in their relationship than those who didn’t. This finding is consistent with research showing that relationships with more companionate love – based on friendship, feelings of affection, comfort and shared interests – <a href="http://doi.org/10.1177/0265407513515618">last longer</a> and are <a href="http://doi.org/10.1177/0265407594111002">more satisfying</a>. In fact, companionate love is more closely associated with relationship satisfaction <a href="http://doi.org/10.1111/j.1475-682X.1998.tb00459.x">than is passionate love</a> – the type of romantic love based on intense feelings of attraction and preoccupation with one’s partner.</p> <p>Other research shows that those in <a href="http://doi.org/10.1111/j.1475-6811.1994.tb00066.x">friendship-based love relationships</a> feel they have a highly likable partner, and that shared companionship is an important part of the love. A study of 622 married individuals revealed that those with higher scores on the friendship-based love scale also reported more relationship satisfaction, greater perceived importance of the relationship, greater respect for their spouse, and felt closer to their spouse. More recently, across two studies with nearly 400 participants in relationships, those who place <a href="http://doi.org/10.1177/0265407512453009">more value on the friendship aspect</a> of their relationship also report more commitment, more love and greater sexual gratification. In addition, valuing friendship also decreased the chances of the couple breaking up. Best-friend love is starting to sound better and better.</p> <p>All of these benefits are backed up by accounts from a special type of relationship expert: <a href="http://connection.ebscohost.com/c/articles/49838503/marriages-made-last">couples who’ve been happily married for over 15 years</a>. When researchers asked over 350 of these couples about their secret to relationship success and longevity, what was the number one reason? Simple: their partner was their best friend. The second most common response was liking their spouse as a person, another key facet of friendship-based love.</p> <p><strong>Why are best-friend partners so beneficial?</strong></p> <p>These findings demonstrating the benefits of dating or marrying your best friend make perfect sense when you consider the <a href="http://doi.org/10.1111/j.1475-6811.2007.00173.x">type of relationship best friends share</a>. Friends enjoy spending time together, share similar interests, take care of each other, trust each other and feel a lasting bond between them. It isn’t a coincidence that these all happen to be <a href="http://doi.org/10.1177/0265407507081451">qualities that also define successful intimate relationships</a>.</p> <p>By recognizing the parallels between best friends and romantic partners, you can benefit from holding both types of relationships to the same standards. All too often it seems individuals are overly forgiving of a relationship partner’s bad behavior, when they would never accept similar behaviors from a friend. For example, if your friend was mean, rude, perpetually grumpy, nagging, dishonest, argumentative, emotionally unstable, ignored your texts, called you names or didn’t want to have meaningful conversations with you, would you still want to be friends? If not, it’s fair to hold similar expectations for your romantic partner. Take the time to find a romantic partner who truly is your best friend.</p> <p>To be clear, the argument here isn’t that you should try to convert an existing best friend into a romantic partner. You may not want to run the risk of compromising that friendship, anyway. Rather, the data here point out the importance of your romantic partner also being one of your best friends.</p> <p>Ultimately, the best way to have true love forever may be to be best friends forever first.<!-- Below is The Conversation's page counter tag. Please DO NOT REMOVE. --><img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important; text-shadow: none !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/72784/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /><!-- End of code. If you don't see any code above, please get new code from the Advanced tab after you click the republish button. The page counter does not collect any personal data. More info: http://theconversation.com/republishing-guidelines --></p> <p><em>Written by <span>Gary W. Lewandowski Jr., Chair and Professor of Psychology, Monmouth University</span>. Republished with permission of </em><a href="https://theconversation.com/why-you-should-date-your-best-friend-72784"><em>The Conversation</em></a><em>. </em></p>

Relationships

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Tying the knot again? Fergie sends fans into a frenzy with wedding post

<p>It’s the rumour that keeps making the rounds, and it’s back once again.</p> <p>After the Duchess of York, also known as “Fergie ”, took to Twitter to post a photo of herself standing alongside a beautiful lace wedding dress, fans began to speculate whether she was remarrying Prince Andrew.</p> <p>The caption read: “I visited the pop-up boutique of @brides_do_good @bicesterVillage and was moved by their mission.</p> <p>“Brides do Good is a social enterprise that sells designer wedding dresses and donates up to two thirds of the proceeds to projects that provide safe education for girls.</p> <p>“Their vision is a world without child marriage #bicestervillage.”</p> <blockquote class="twitter-tweet tw-align-center" data-lang="en"> <p dir="ltr">I visited the pop-up boutique of <a href="https://twitter.com/BridesDoGood?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">@BridesDoGood</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/bicestervillage?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">@bicestervillage</a> and was moved by their mission. Brides do Good is a social enterprise that sells designer wedding dresses and donates up to two thirds of the proceeds to projects that provide safe education for girls <a href="https://t.co/WhXuOHid9B">pic.twitter.com/WhXuOHid9B</a></p> — Sarah Ferguson (@SarahTheDuchess) <a href="https://twitter.com/SarahTheDuchess/status/1129657046415138816?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">May 18, 2019</a></blockquote> <p>Despite the post having a clear purpose, royal fans couldn’t help but question the true intention behind the tweet.</p> <p>“Thought you might be tying the knot again for a second,” said one user.</p> <p>“Andrew will love seeing you walking towards him again in that dress,” wrote another.</p> <p>“Wishing you and the Duke of York will remarry soon, you’re such a great couple to watch, still very close after being divorced for decades,” commented a fan.</p> <p>“Sarah get remarried to your Prince and then you can buy a dress,” said another.</p> <p>The former couple have remained extremely close to one another despite their divorce, and also attend many events together.</p> <p>Fergie once told the<span> </span><a rel="noopener" href="https://www.dailymail.co.uk/auhome/index.html" target="_blank"><em>Daily Mail</em></a><span> </span>that they are the “happiest divorced couple in the world.”</p> <p>After separating in 1992 and divorcing in 1996, the couple still remain living together.</p>

Relationships

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Bob Hawke and Blanche d'Alpuget felt a “click”: Inside Australia’s most favourite love story

<p>The affair between Bob Hawke and Blanche d’Alpuget is one of the biggest scandals in Australian political history, and in later years turned into one of the nation’s greatest and favourite love stories.</p> <p>Hazel Masterton met a young and dashing Bob Hawke when he was attending university in Perth and the couple became engaged in 1950.</p> <p>The two married in 1956 and welcomed four children – Sue, Stephen, Rosslyn and Robert Jr who sadly passed away as an infant.</p> <p>Throughout their marriage, Mrs Hawke stood by her husband’s side as he talked about his political aspirations and won the hearts of the Australian people – first as the head of the Australian Council of Trade Unions in the 1970’s, before joining parliament in the 1980’s.</p> <p>Hazel served as the First Lady during Bob’s years as Prime Minister from 1983 – 1991.</p> <p>However, it was in 1970 when Blanche d’Alpuget met Bob Hawke for the first time at a party in Jakarta, where the young writer was living with her husband, Antony Pratt.</p> <p>What she described to <em><a rel="noopener" href="https://www.mamamia.com.au/bob-hawke-blanche-affair/" target="_blank">Mamamia’s</a> </em><em>No Filter</em> podcast was not a spark between her and Mr Hawke as they talked long into the night about the city, but a “click.”</p> <p>“I hadn’t been long married, and I was very keen on my husband,” the 74-year-old told Mia Freedman in 2018.</p> <p>“I didn’t know who the hell [Hawke] was; I thought his name was Robin.”    </p> <p>The next time she met with Hawke was six years later and by then, her marriage had been “going down the drain. The connection he and his soon-to-be mistress had a click that “was different,” she said.</p> <p>The public was outraged when it had emerged the nations most beloved politician was leaving his wife of 38 years to marry d’Alpuget – a beautiful, blonde writer 14 years his junior, four years after he had left office.</p> <p>It had been discovered the two had been in a secret love affair for over two decades.</p> <p>“It was the ’70s, and I was a feminist, I was in the women’s movement. We didn’t believe in monogamy, we believed in liberty, equality and sorority and supporting other women, and affairs were par for the course. They were part of that life,” she said.</p> <p>“But one tried to be discreet and not hurt anybody.”</p> <p><strong><em>Scroll through the gallery above to see Mr Bob Hawke and his wife, Blanche d'Alpuget.</em></strong></p> <p>“I’ve been in love with Bob since 1976,” she told <a rel="noopener" href="https://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/relationships/marriage/the-affair-that-scandalised-australia-bob-hawkes-20year-affair-with-blanche-dalpuget/news-story/cc4d90920d1fd2e1db2361ccd13d8d2b" target="_blank"><em>news.com.au.</em></a></p> <p>“I fell in love with his character. He was a man of absolutely good character, as far as I was concerned. He was clever and genuinely charismatic. He’s a man of enormous compassion, and I saw all of those things.</p> <p>The secret couple had gone through a string of break-ups and rekindling’s, but what had sealed their fate together, and to go public with their relationship was a single pause from Bob.</p> <p>“I was in a sea plane up in far-north Queensland, I was doing a story for <em>The New York Times</em> on the Great Barrier Reef, and the sea plane crashed into the sea,” d’Alpuget explained to Freedman.’</p> <p>“We had to swim out the window. There were six passengers and the pilot, and we were very lucky to be alive because we all grabbed on to the wings, as [aviation fuel] was pouring out of them and covering us."</p> <p>Nearby, a yachtsman had seen the accident and rescued the seven from the polluted water, pulling them into his dinghy before the plane completely sank.</p> <p>Once the group was safely onshore at Hamilton island, each passenger was given one phone call each.</p> <p> “The one phone call I made was to 'Go Between', the man who was [Bob's and my] secret contact. But he was a drama queen and he rang up Bob and said, 'Bob, Blanche has been in a plane crash,' and he paused. Bob said in that moment he felt himself die.</p> <p>“And then the man added, 'But she's alright'. But it was just that instant; he knew then that, had I died, his life wouldn't have been worth living.”</p> <p>The longest serving Labor prime minister announced his separation from his wife, Hazel in 1993 and publicly declared his love for Ms d'Alpuget.</p> <p>Eight months after he and Hazel’s divorce was finalised, he and his long-ago mistress married in Sydney.</p> <p>Mrs Hawke passed away in 2013 from dementia-related complications at age 83. Mr Hawke visited her before she died, and paid tribute to her life in a public statement.</p> <p>“I remember Hazel with deep affection and gratitude,” he said. “She was more than a wife and mother, being father as well during my frequent absences as I pursued an industrial then political career.”</p> <p>On Thursday May 16, 2019, Bob died in his Sydney home at age 89.</p> <p>“Today we lost Bob Hawke, a great Australian – many would say the greatest Australian of the post-war era,” Blanche said in a statement.</p> <p>“Bob was dearly loved by his family, and so many friends and colleagues. We will miss him,” she added.</p> <p>“The golden bowl is broken.”</p> <p>Scroll through the gallery above to see Mr Bob Hawke and his wife, Blanche d'Alpuget.</p>

Relationships

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Want to know if your partner's cheating on you? Just listen to their voice

<p>Picture Morgan Freeman, Donald Trump or Margaret Thatcher. Most likely you can hear their voices in your mind, and the characteristic inflections that they put on certain words, as well as their tone and pitch. Even without listening to the words, when you hear someone speak you can pick up important information about them from characteristics such as how loud or deep their voice is.</p> <p>At the most basic level, voices convey biological characteristics such as whether someone is <a href="http://rspb.royalsocietypublishing.org/content/279/1728/601">male or female</a>, their <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0003347204003987?via%3Dihub">body size</a> and <a href="http://rspb.royalsocietypublishing.org/content/277/1699/3509">physical strength</a>, <a href="http://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1207/s15327027hc0803_2">age and sexual maturity</a>. For example, Donald Trump’s voice can signal to you that he is a man, and that he has passed middle age. But did you know that voices can also signal a person’s attractiveness, fertility and even the likelihood of them being unfaithful?</p> <p>A popular theory with evolutionary psychologists, known as <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s12110-003-1008-y">“cads versus dads</a>”, suggests that more masculine, dominant men are not as paternal and generally invest less in their children and grandchildren than less masculine men. Yet research shows women generally prefer <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0003347204003987?via%3Dihub">deeper voiced, more masculine-sounding men</a>, especially when these women are <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0018506X05001704">near ovulation</a>.</p> <p>This may be because partnering with deeper-voiced men could lead to genetically healthier children. Deeper voices have been linked to having more <a href="http://rsbl.royalsocietypublishing.org/content/3/6/682">surviving children and grandchildren</a>, <a href="http://rspb.royalsocietypublishing.org/content/283/1829/20152830">higher testosterone and</a> lower stress hormones, and longer-term survival in men.</p> <p>On the other hand, deeper-voiced men are also rated by women as more likely to <a href="http://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/147470491100900109">cheat on a partner</a> and as <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1090513816300368?via%3Dihub#f0005">less trustworthy</a> in general. Women who judge men with lower-pitched voices as more likely to cheat also <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0191886913012324?via%3Dihub">prefer those men for short-term</a> rather than long-term partners. Meanwhile, when women <a href="https://doi.org/10.1098/rspb.2008.1542">are breastfeeding</a> and so currently taking care of a child, they are more likely to prefer men with higher-pitched voices than at other times.</p> <p>This suggests women use something in men’s voices to try to assess how likely to cheat they are, as well as their general trustworthiness. This in turn can affect their attractiveness as a partner, depending on whether the women are drawn towards the paternal care of a potential long-term mate or just good genes.</p> <p><strong>Spotting a cheater</strong></p> <p>But can our voices really indicate whether we are likely to cheat? A <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/1474704917711513">recent study</a> from researchers in the US suggests that they can. Participants were played recordings of people speaking and given no other background information about them, and successfully rated cheaters as “more likely to cheat” than non-cheaters. Interestingly, women were better at this task than men.</p> <p>The recordings were taken from people with voices of similar pitch and attractiveness, who were of similar size and shape, and had similar sexual histories (aside from cheating). This means that none of these factors affected the results. So we currently don’t know what cues the participants used to judge whether the voices came from cheaters.</p> <p>It is not only women who can pick up on men’s vocal cues of good genes and likelihood to cheat, and use it to their benefit. A woman’s voice changes during her menstrual cycle when she is not using contraceptive pills. Perhaps unsurprisingly, men find women’s voices most attractive when the women are <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1090513808000263?via%3Dihub">near ovulation</a> (most fertile), than at other times of the month. This information is important to pick up on, as women do not display very explicit signals that they are fertile (unlike baboon females whose bottoms turn red, or female deer who release scents to advertise their fertility).</p> <p>Voices can also signal whether someone is <a href="http://www.ehbonline.org/article/S1090-5138(14)00078-6/fulltext">interested in you</a>. In one clever study, participants were asked to judge the voices of individuals who spoke in a different language to attractive or unattractive potential partners or competitors.</p> <p>The researchers found that, when talking to attractive people, men’s voices tend to reach a deeper pitch, and both men and women increase how varied their pitch is so their voices sound more dynamic than monotonous. Practically speaking, picking up on these types of cues could allow someone to decide whether a person they are talking to might be attracted to them or not.</p> <p>In these ways, the non-verbal characteristics of voices can play a significant role in signalling health, fertility, attraction and potential infidelity, to name a few. Picking up on these cues, alongside the many other cues we receive when talking to someone, can help us make more informed and well-rounded choices about who to spend time with and who to avoid. But the next time you find yourself listening to and judging someone’s voice for these subtle cues, remember that they are judging yours, too.<!-- Below is The Conversation's page counter tag. Please DO NOT REMOVE. --><img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important; text-shadow: none !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/92387/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /><!-- End of code. If you don't see any code above, please get new code from the Advanced tab after you click the republish button. The page counter does not collect any personal data. More info: http://theconversation.com/republishing-guidelines --></p> <p><em>Written by <span>Viktoria Mileva, Postdoctoral Fellow in Psychology, University of Stirling and Juan David Leongómez, Assistant Professor of Evolutionary Psychology, El Bosque University</span>. Republished with permission of </em><a href="https://theconversation.com/want-to-know-if-your-partners-cheating-on-you-just-listen-to-their-voice-92387"><em>The Conversation</em></a><em>. </em></p>

Relationships

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Princess Diana’s niece is dating a 60-year-old millionaire

<p>Lady Kitty Spencer is a well-known face, not just for her successful career as a high-fashion model, but for being the niece of the beloved Princess Diana.</p> <p>However, the model has come to attention again for her love life.</p> <p>The 28-year-old was seen leaving a hotel in Manhattan, New York with her 60-year-old millionaire “boyfriend” Michael Lewis who is the head of the high-end fashion brand, Whistles.</p> <p>The couple have managed to keep a pretty low profile since their relationship went public in August of 2018, and despite rumours of the couple’s 32-year age gap being the main reason for wanting to be unseen by paparazzi, others insist both Lewis and Spencer want to keep their matters together private.</p> <p>Spencer has managed to live a fairly low-profile life, except for her connections to royalty and her successful modelling career until last year when she attended one of the biggest events of 2018 – Prince Harry and Meghan's royal wedding. </p> <p>The princess look-alike blew royal fans away for her striking appearance, stealing the show in her emerald and floral Dolce &amp; Gabbana gown.</p> <p>Spencer signed on as an ambassador with Bulgari who also became aware of her stunning appearance after photos of Princess Di’s niece caused a storm online.</p> <blockquote style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/Bw6gQ6BBQvd/" data-instgrm-version="12"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"></div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"></div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"></div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/Bw6gQ6BBQvd/" target="_blank">A post shared by Kitty Spencer (@kitty.spencer)</a> on May 1, 2019 at 2:01am PDT</p> </div> </blockquote> <p>Kitty touched down in Australia this week, surprising her own fans down under.</p> <p>“I love you Sydney! So happy to be back,” she wrote to social media.</p> <p>“Australia is the best! Welcome back darling one,” a fan commented.</p> <p>Another added: “Your Aunt Diana loved Sydney, so I’m glad you do too!”</p> <p>Scroll through the gallery above to see Lady Kitty Spencer’s stunning outfit worn at the Duke and Duchess of Sussex’s wedding.</p>

Relationships

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Romance up in the air: How two travellers in their 70s found love on a flight

<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Falling in love when you are travelling up in the air may sound like something out of a movie, but it may be more common than you thought. A recent </span><a href="https://www.businessinsider.com/one-in-50-passengers-meet-the-love-of-their-life-on-a-plane-2018-8?r=UK"><span style="font-weight: 400;">HSBC study</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;">, which surveyed more than 5,000 travellers around the world, claims that one in 50 air passengers will meet the love of their life on a plane. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">And that is exactly what happened for 70-year-old David Swann and 69-year-old Kathleen Foreman.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Through a flight to Fiji, multiple coincidences and decisions made in impulse, the two found love and are now happily married.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Last May, Swann was slated to travel from Melbourne to Fiji when his flight was cancelled. As he waited for his rescheduled flight to be sorted out, he met Foreman, a fellow passenger who was looking to visit her brother. The two began chatting while they waited for the boarding time.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">When they finally got to the aircraft, Swann found out that they were seated “one row apart from each other”. But that was not close enough for the bachelor, so he talked to a cabin crew to move his seat next to Freeman for the rest of the five-hour flight. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">They “continued chatting and getting to know each other throughout the flight” before touching down in Fiji.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The two went on their separate ways as Swann headed for Matamanoa Island while Foreman proceeded to Suva, where her brother lives. However, before parting, they promised to get in touch upon their return to Australia.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">He went back home after 12 days in Fiji, and she returned three weeks after that. Foreman then decided to take the leap. “Four days after arriving home in Mildura, Kath drove 740 kilometres to Apollo Bay to see me and to find out if the feelings she had were reciprocated,” Swann told </span><a href="https://www.news.com.au/travel/travel-advice/flights/a-couple-in-their-70s-have-found-love-after-meeting-on-a-flight-from-melbourne-to-fiji/news-story/506b57d5f307417310c6d73016590cef"><span style="font-weight: 400;"><em>news.com.au</em></span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;">.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“They were … after almost a month of dating, I asked Kath to marry me.”</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The couple wasted no time to express their commitment to each other, as they both had reached the later stage in life. “We were married on the 9</span><span style="font-weight: 400;">th</span><span style="font-weight: 400;"> March 2019 on the beach near our home in Apollo Bay surrounded by family and friends,” said Swann.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">They are set to fly to Fiji again this May to mark the anniversary of their fateful meeting. “Both Kath and I often look at each other and shake our heads and wonder that this whole, wonderful situation came about because of a cancelled flight!”</span></p>

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Is it adultery if my spouse doesn't know who I am anymore?

<p>In Zoomer magazine’s September 2017 issue, there was an <a href="https://www.pressreader.com/canada/zoomer-magazine/20170904/281552290980041">enlightening article</a> written by <a href="http://siloamunitedchurch.org/meet-our-staff/">Rev. Dr. Sheila Macgregor</a> addressing contemporary issues that have emerged as a result of what’s become known as the longevity revolution.</p> <p>Advancements in health care and technology have resulted in longer lifespans. Milestone events now include encore careers, second and even third marriages, and birthday celebrations for 100-year-olds. In fact, in 2016, <a href="http://www12.statcan.gc.ca/census-recensement/2016/as-sa/98-200-x/2016004/98-200-x2016004-eng.cfm">there were more than 8,000 100-year-olds alive in Canada,</a> according to the most recent Census data.</p> <p>While there is much to be celebrated, it’s also a good time to pause and re-examine old traditions in light of new realities. That was part of Rev. Macgregor’s powerful message. Macgregor draws upon the work of <a href="http://jewishsacredaging.com/about-us-2/rabbi-richard-f-address-d-min/">Rabbi Richard Address</a>, the director of <a href="http://jewishsacredaging.com/"><em>Jewish Sacred Aging</em></a>, a forum that enables the Jewish community to discuss modern-day issues relating to the aging Baby Boomer generation.</p> <p>For instance, Address asks, is it still adultery if you enter into a new relationship when your spouse doesn’t know who you are anymore?</p> <p>That’s an important question in an age in which <a href="http://www.who.int/mediacentre/factsheets/fs362/en/">47 million people</a> worldwide are living with dementia. But the figures don’t include family members who are directly affected by the disease.</p> <p>Rabbi Address’s question necessitates that we examine the day-to-day realities of those caring for spouses with dementia and Alzheimer’s.</p> <p><strong>Spouses care for most people with dementia</strong></p> <p>Research from the United States indicates that approximately <a href="https://www.alz.org/documents_custom/public-health/2009-2010-combined-caregiving.pdf">70 per cent of people suffering from Alzheimer’s</a> are cared for by their spouses. And while many report <a href="http://www.apa.org/pi/about/publications/caregivers/faq/positive-aspects.aspx">benefits</a> associated with the experience, such as greater meaning and purpose in life, and a closer bond and attachment with the cared for individual, this population also faces negative psycho-social consequences that include loneliness and isolation.</p> <p>And as Dr. <a href="http://www.johncacioppo.com/">John Cacioppo</a>, one of the world’s most eminent authorities on the topic, explains, humans do not fare well when they live solitary lives. In fact, <a href="https://theconversation.com/loneliness-could-kill-you-87217">loneliness can kill you</a>.</p> <p>The demands and responsibilities imposed by the caregiver role leave little time, if any at all, for social interaction. And the constant care and concern for one’s beloved can occupy prime real estate in the mind of the caregiver.</p> <p>The <a href="https://www.statcan.gc.ca/pub/75-006-x/2013001/article/11858-eng.htm">negative cognitive and physical consequences</a> are plentiful and include illness, injury, depression, anxiety, financial difficulties and disruptions in employment. Moreover, as cognitive and physical abilities diminish, the demands on the caregiver increase.</p> <p>Imagine for a moment that while a caregiver is attending to the needs of her loved one during a hospital visit, doctor’s office, or pharmacy run, she meets another person who is experiencing similar challenges.</p> <p>The two start to develop a relationship. When time permits, they share brief phone calls, text messages and an occasional meal. Their friendship provides refuge in a chaotic, isolating and lonely world. Their encounters, no matter how short, are reminiscent of a time when her husband recognized her, conversations were reciprocal and they enjoyed leisurely pursuits and pastimes together.</p> <p><strong>Mitigate loneliness</strong></p> <p>Extramarital affairs that begin during a partner’s debilitating illness or terminal disease are referred to as <a href="https://www.caring.com/blogs/fyi-daily/are-well-spouse-affairs-different-from-others">“well spouse affairs.”</a></p> <p>Relational expert <a href="http://www.michaelbatshaw.com/index.html">Dr. Michael Batshaw</a> believes that such affairs can mitigate the loneliness and isolation associated with caregiving, and thus prevent caregiver burnout.</p> <p>Batshaw explains that people who normally would not engage in infidelity may do so while a caregiver, because often what prevents us from being unfaithful is the hope that our relationship will change and improve. Under these circumstances, however, the caregivers know their relationships will never get better, and realize that their needs can no longer be fulfilled by their spouse.</p> <p>But such affairs are not without their costs.</p> <p>Infidelity by its very nature is replete with guilt, as is caregiving. Taking time off to exercise or see friends often ignites feelings of guilt for being away from a loved one. Add infidelity to the mix, and you’re likely to spend much of your time engaged in hellish emotional turmoil.</p> <p>Although you want to be the devoted and faithful spouse, motivated by obligation, love or societal norms, you are also physically and emotionally exhausted, feeling lonely and isolated and want out.</p> <p>Would a spouse really want his beloved to live such an existence? And what exactly does “until death do us part” mean? Is it when we physically take our last breath, or when we no longer exist as we have for decades in our marriages, recognize our partners or actively participate in our relationships?</p> <p>These questions are incredibly personal and, for some, deeply religious. However, it’s incumbent upon us to move beyond the ethical considerations of the issue and focus on the human struggles associated with the realities of living longer lives.</p> <p>I suspect that’s why Rabbi Address recommends that couples discuss this issue long before debilitating diseases strike. Such conversations are difficult, but they may in fact be the final act of love and kindness that you can bestow upon your loved one.<!-- Below is The Conversation's page counter tag. Please DO NOT REMOVE. --><img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important; text-shadow: none !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/87441/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /><!-- End of code. If you don't see any code above, please get new code from the Advanced tab after you click the republish button. The page counter does not collect any personal data. More info: http://theconversation.com/republishing-guidelines --></p> <p><em>Written by <span>Gillian Leithman, Assistant Professor, Department of Management, Aging, Retirement, and Knowledge Management Researcher, Concordia University</span>. Republished with permission of </em><a href="https://theconversation.com/is-it-adultery-if-my-spouse-doesnt-know-who-i-am-anymore-87441"><em>The Conversation</em></a><em>. </em></p>

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Princess Mary celebrates 15 wonderful years of marriage

<p>Denmark’s Crown Prince Frederick met Crown Princess Mary of Denmark when she was simply just Mary Donaldson in 2000 during the Sydney Olympic Games.</p> <p>Their engagement was announced three years later in October of 2003 and Frederick married his Aussie bride on May 14, 2004.</p> <p>Today marks 15 years since the fairy-tale dream happened for one of our very own.</p> <p>The stunning reception took place at Copenhagen Cathedral, where Princess Mary wore an ivory satin dress and a six-metre train following behind her.</p> <p>Despite being married into a royal family, that didn’t stop our beloved princess from wanting her Australian heritage at the forefront, as her bridal bouquet was made up of eucalyptus, roses and a sprig of myrtle from Fredensborg Palace.</p> <p>One of the most memorable moments from the wedding was Prince Frederik letting a few tears slip as he watched his bride walk down the aisle with his brother, Prince Joachim, proudly standing by his side with tissues on the ready.</p> <p>The prince wore his Danish navy military uniform.</p> <p>“I don't recall wishing that one day I would be a princess,” Princess Mary said shortly after the engagement.</p> <p>“I wanted to be a veterinarian.”</p> <p> Since marrying, the royal couple have had four children, Prince Christian, 13, Princess Isabella, 11 and Prince Vincent and Princess Josephine, who are 8.  </p> <p>Scroll through the gallery above to see images of Prince Frederick and Princess Mary’s beautiful wedding day.</p>

Relationships

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Love is in the air! LEGO Masters Miller and Kaitlyn reveal their new romance

<p>Nine’s <em>LEGO Masters</em> wasn’t intended to be a dating show, but turns out, two of its contestants have revealed that they’ve found love!</p> <p>Speaking to <a rel="noopener" href="https://celebrity.nine.com.au/2019/05/10/18/41/lego-masters-2019-miller-and-kaitlyn-are-a-couple" target="_blank"><em>9Honey Celebrity</em></a>, Miller and Kaitlyn – who started the show with their teammates Jordan and Marielle – said it was through the show that the pair discovered their feelings for one another.</p> <p>“We were friends from when we first met, and we’d hang out during free time in between filming. But I had no idea Kaitlyn liked me,” said Miller. “I was completely oblivious to Kaitlyn’s flirtations. The other contestants had a lot to do with us getting together.”</p> <p><span>Henry and Cade, another team on the hit show built a strong friendship with Miller, and knew he was interested in Kaitlyn.</span></p> <blockquote style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/BxWz4_sBfJI/" data-instgrm-version="12"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"></div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"></div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"></div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <p style="margin: 8px 0 0 0; padding: 0 4px;"><a style="color: #000; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none; word-wrap: break-word;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BxWz4_sBfJI/" target="_blank">Lego Masters became Love Island for Kaitlyn and Miller after falling for each other on @legomastersau #lego #legomasters #love #realitytv #couple #legolove #@channel9</a></p> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;">A post shared by <a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/fionahamiltonphoto/" target="_blank"> fiona hamilton</a> (@fionahamiltonphoto) on May 12, 2019 at 1:51am PDT</p> </div> </blockquote> <p>“And then Kaitlyn’s partner Marielle told Cade that she was interested in me, so he ended up telling me,” said Miller.</p> <p>But their romance didn’t start right away.</p> <p>“We went out on a few dates, but it was still kind of as friends,” said Miller. “Then we went and had breakfast one day, and I kind of just leaned over the table and said, ‘Kaitlyn, I’ve just gotta get something out of the way. I just want to make sure … is this … is this a date?’</p> <p>“And she kind of said, ‘I don’t know. Is it?’ and I said, ‘I guess it is now?!’”</p> <p>While the new couple managed to keep it a secret from everyone on the show until now, the two say their <em>LEGO Masters</em> co-stars could not be happier.</p> <p>“Everyone was really supportive, they were all really happy,” says Kaitlyn.</p>

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Why we are secretly attracted to people who look like our parents

<p>Have you ever thought there was an uncanny family resemblance between your friend and her partner? Or wondered for a fleeting moment whether the pair walking down the road were husband and wife, or brother and sister? You might not be imagining things. Animals of many species “learn” what a suitable mate looks like based on the appearance of their parents, and so, it seems, do humans.</p> <p>Scientists have long known that species including birds, mammals and fish <a href="http://www.nature.com/hdy/journal/v82/n4/full/6885270a.html">pick mates that look similar to their parents</a>. This is known as positive sexual imprinting. For example, if a goat mother looks after a sheep baby, or a sheep mother looks after a goat baby, then those babies grow up to <a href="http://www.nature.com/nature/journal/v395/n6699/abs/395229a0.html">try to mate with the species of their foster mother</a>, instead of their own.</p> <p>It seems humans also “learn” from our parents in a similar way. When you ask people to judge the similarities between heterosexual couples and their parents from photos, a fascinating picture emerges. Women tend on average to pick partners <a href="http://rspb.royalsocietypublishing.org/content/271/1544/1129.short">whose faces look a bit like their fathers’</a>, while men often choose partners who <a href="http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0191886901001829">slightly resemble their mothers</a>. Resemblance doesn’t stop at faces – you can also see subtle similarities on average between <a href="http://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.3109/03014460.2011.635695">partner and parent height</a>, <a href="http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1090513802001198">hair colour, eye colour</a>, <a href="http://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/00224545.1980.9924331">ethnicity</a> and even <a href="https://beheco.oxfordjournals.org/content/21/2/419.full">the degree of body hair</a>.</p> <p>But what’s really going on here? We tend to look like our parents, so how do we know that people aren’t just picking a partner who resembles themselves? We know that such <a href="http://beheco.oxfordjournals.org/content/early/2009/08/12/beheco.arp107.short">self-resemblance influences partner choice</a>. But a number of studies have suggested that this can’t be the whole story. One such study of adopted women found that <a href="http://rspb.royalsocietypublishing.org/content/271/1544/1129.short">they tended to choose husbands who looked like their adoptive fathers</a>.</p> <p>We also know that, in general, heterosexuals are more attracted to <a href="http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1090513802001198">those who resemble their opposite-sex parent</a> than their same-sex parent. What’s more, research has shown that it’s not merely appearance that matters: it’s also about your relationship with that parent. People who report more <a href="http://rspb.royalsocietypublishing.org/content/271/1544/1129.short">positive childhood relationships</a> with a parent are more likely to be <a href="http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0191886901001829">attracted to partners who resemble that parent</a>.</p> <p><strong>Aversion versus attraction</strong></p> <p>This isn’t <a href="http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2009/mar/08/sigmund-freud-oedipal-complex">Freud’s Oedipus complex</a> revisited. Freud believed that children have a suppressed desire for their parents. But this branch of research doesn’t in any way show that we secretly desire our parents, just that we simply tend to be attracted to people who resemble them to some extent.</p> <p>If anything, we seem to find our immediate family members unattractive. For instance, people find the very idea of sexual relationships with their siblings deeply unappealing. This aversion <a href="http://www.nature.com/nature/journal/v445/n7129/abs/nature05510.html">seems to develop automatically</a> through two distinct processes. One process turns off attraction to those that we spend a lot of time with during childhood. The other turns off attraction to any infants that our mother looks after a lot. Sexual aversion to siblings might be nature’s way of ensuring we don’t try to reproduce with someone who is too closely related to us and reproduction with close relatives is linked to an increased likelihood of genetic disorders in any resulting offspring. This aversion to close relatives is known as negative sexual imprinting. However, genetic sexual attraction <a href="http://www.theguardian.com/theguardian/2003/may/17/weekend7.weekend2">can occur between siblings</a> that have been separated and meet first as adults.</p> <p>But when do we develop these preferences? Perhaps we learn that our parents looks are attractive early in life, and then tuck that learning away – only to let it reemerge when we’re ready for adult relationships. Or perhaps more recent experiences override earlier learning? To test this, I asked heterosexual adult women about their relationships with their parents at different ages during their development, and I assessed how much their current preferences matched up with the appearance of their parents.</p> <p>I found that the women who reported a better relationship with their parents after puberty were more likely to be <a href="http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1090513815000598">attracted to partners with similar eye colour</a> to them. In contrast, if a woman was close to her parents earlier in life, she was actually less likely to prefer the eye colour of her parents in a partner. In science, we always like to see replications with <a href="http://www.nature.com/nature/journal/v466/n7302/abs/466029a.html">different samples</a>, methodologies and research groups before we generalise findings too much. So far though, the intriguing pattern of this early study suggests that there may be complex developmental patterns underlying how we construct our idea of an ideal partner. Perhaps we are seeing the actions of both positive and negative sexual imprinting at work.</p> <p>But one question remains. If we’re finding preferences for parental resemblance across different populations, then what is the biological explanation for this behaviour? It turns out that coupling up with a distant family member seems to be the best bet, biologically, <a href="http://science.sciencemag.org/content/319/5864/813.short">to produce a large number of healthy children</a>. One possibility is that if you are attracted to people who look like your parents, then chances are you may get a crush on distant relatives. This might give you better chances of more healthy children, and so this behaviour persists.</p> <p>Despite this research, if you were to tell me that your partner doesn’t look anything like your parents, then I wouldn’t be surprised. Parental resemblance probably isn’t at the top of anyone’s wish list. <a href="http://journals.cambridge.org/action/displayAbstract?fromPage=online&amp;aid=6734712&amp;fileId=S0140525X00023992">Like most people</a>, you probably want a partner who is kind, intelligent and attractive. But if all else is equal, then <a href="http://psycnet.apa.org/journals/psp/9/2p2/1/">that comfortable feeling of familiarity</a> might be enough to get a relationship underway, or <a href="http://rspb.royalsocietypublishing.org/content/269/1498/1307">to maintain feelings of trust in a relationship</a>.<!-- Below is The Conversation's page counter tag. Please DO NOT REMOVE. --><img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important; text-shadow: none !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/54590/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /><!-- End of code. If you don't see any code above, please get new code from the Advanced tab after you click the republish button. The page counter does not collect any personal data. More info: http://theconversation.com/republishing-guidelines --></p> <p><em>Written by <span>Tamsin Saxton, Senior Lecturer in Psychology, Northumbria University, Newcastle</span>. Republished with permission of </em><a href="https://theconversation.com/why-we-are-secretly-attracted-to-people-who-look-like-our-parents-54590"><em>The Conversation</em></a><em>. </em></p>

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“I can’t make it right for my mum”: The incredible legacy of Bill Shorten’s mother Ann

<p>In 1985 Ann Shorten graduated from Monash University, the same year her twin sons Bill and Robert begun their first year at the same institution.</p> <p>It was no easy feat, but she successfully managed to complete her law degree and obtain multiple accolades in the process, winning the Supreme Court Prize and the Flos Greig Memorial Prize.</p> <p>It was a lifelong dream, one that she set aside for decades to focus on her family.</p> <p>Appearing on ABC’s <em>Q&amp;A</em> on Monday night, <a rel="noopener" href="https://www.oversixty.com.au/news/news/bill-shorten-hits-back-at-report-questioning-his-late-mother-s-legacy" target="_blank">Bill Shorten spoke fondly of his mother</a>, saying it was her dedication and drive that pushed him towards his political career.</p> <p>“My mum came from a working class family,” he said. “She was the first in our family, in the early '50s, to ever go to university … she became a teacher, but she wanted to be a lawyer. But she was the eldest in the family and needed to take the teacher scholarship to look after the rest of the kids. My mum was a brilliant woman. She wasn’t bitter. She worked here for 35 years. But I also know if she had other opportunities, she could have done anything.”</p> <p>“I can’t make it right for my mum. And she wouldn’t want me to. But my point is this: What motivates me, if you really want to know who Bill Shorten is, I can’t make it right for my mum, but I can make it right for everyone else,” he concluded.</p> <p>It was praised as an election-winning moment. Neil McMahon, columnist for <a rel="noopener" href="https://www.smh.com.au/" target="_blank"><em>Sydney Morning Herald</em></a> described it as “the most powerful and personal” moment of the federal election campaign.</p> <p>But the success was short-lived, as soon after, the <em><a rel="noopener" href="https://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/" target="_blank">Daily Telegraph</a> </em>published a front page story accusing the aspiring Prime Minister of being a phoney, saying he intentionally left out critical details of his mother’s story as he did not mention that she became a lawyer later on in life.</p> <p>Shorten fired back at the publication along with his opponent, Prime Minister Scott Morrison.</p> <p>The 51-year-old recounted the same story in a Facebook post, and again at a press conference on Wednesday. He spoke about his mother’s resilience, her ability to overcome obstacles and to obtain a law degree in her 50s. He acknowledged the sacrifices she made for her family and how she remained humble and kind despite the bitterness she faced throughout her life.</p> <p>But he also raised his voice against the injustices she faced for being a woman and coming from a poor family. And then later on in life, when she was an older woman working in a male-dominated industry.</p> <p style="text-align: center;"><iframe src="https://www.facebook.com/plugins/post.php?href=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2FBillShorten%2Fposts%2F2292228950813653&amp;width=500" width="500" height="280" style="border: none; overflow: hidden;" scrolling="no" frameborder="0" allowtransparency="true" allow="encrypted-media"></iframe></p> <p>In her six years at the bar, she was given a total of nine briefs, which Shorten described as “a bit dispiriting.”</p> <p>“She discovered in her mid-50s that sometimes, you’re just too old, and you shouldn’t be too old, but she discovered the discrimination against older women.”</p> <p>In 1991, Anne founded the Australian &amp; New Zealand Education Law Association (ANZELA).</p> <p>The Victorian Bar obituary states that ANZELA introduced the annual Ann Shorten Doctoral Award, given to those who produce the best thesis in education law research.</p> <p>In 2012, she was recognised as the first Life Member of the Association.</p> <p>Dr Anne Shorten passed away on the night of Saturday, April 5, 2014. She was 79 years old.</p> <p>Shorten delivered an emotional eulogy the day of her funeral.</p> <p>“She believed in merit,” he said. “She taught me that merit is a legitimate human condition. That people should not be defied because of some ill-defined birth right or the wealth of an individual.”</p> <p>Speaking at a press conference on Wednesday in the NSW electoral division of Gilmore, Shorten once again explained how his mother is responsible for his upbringing and everything he has achieved.</p> <p>“What I did on Monday night [on <em>Q&amp;A</em>] is I explained who I am. I explained what drives me. My mum is the smartest woman I’ve ever known,” he told the media.</p> <blockquote class="twitter-tweet tw-align-center" data-lang="en"> <p dir="ltr">An emotional <a href="https://twitter.com/billshortenmp?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">@billshortenmp</a> has hit back at 'gotcha s**t', after the Daily Telegraph published a story about his mother <a href="https://t.co/8SLsb2cB7Z">pic.twitter.com/8SLsb2cB7Z</a></p> — ABC News (@abcnews) <a href="https://twitter.com/abcnews/status/1125950108141359105?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">May 8, 2019</a></blockquote> <p>“It has never occurred to me that women are not the equal of men. It’s never occurred to me that women shouldn’t be able to do everything.</p> <p>“That is why I work with strong women. That is why I believe in the equal treatment of women.”</p> <p>He said that it was his mum that instilled in him that regardless of whether you’re rich or poor. What religion you follow or what news you listen to, you deserve equal opportunity.</p> <p>“She’s brilliant,” he said. “And that’s what drives me.”</p>

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The secret to a happier marriage

<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">When it comes to a relationship, is it truly better to give than to receive? The answer seems to be a resounding “yes”, as a study found that doing something nice for your partner is rewarding in and of itself.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The research, published in the journal </span><a href="https://psycnet.apa.org/doiLanding?doi=10.1037%2Femo0000281"><span style="font-weight: 400;"><em>Emotion</em></span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;">, discovered that being compassionate to your spouse can bring significant emotional benefits, even when the spouse is unaware of the act.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The psychologists studied 175 North American married couples, who were asked to keep a record of the compassionate acts either spouse performed – such as expressing gratitude, changing personal plans for partner, or other acts that showed the partner was valued – and their respective emotional states for two weeks.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The results showed that as predicted, couples would reap the most emotional benefit when the act of kindness is acknowledged by both parties – but the givers can gain emotional boost from their compassionate act, even without conscious recognition from the receivers.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“Clearly, a recipient needs to notice a compassionate act in order to emotionally benefit from it,” said Harry Reis, a professor of psychology at the University of Rochester and the research team’s leader. “But recognition is much less a factor for the donor.” </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Based on the self-assessment records, the researchers found that the benefits for the givers’ mood were 45 per cent greater than those for the receivers. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“You could argue that being compassionate and not having it noticed would not be good at all,” Reis told </span><a href="http://time.com/4674982/kindness-compassion-marriage/"><span style="font-weight: 400;"><em>TIME</em></span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;">. “If I go out of my way to do something nice and my spouse doesn’t acknowledge it, my reaction could certainly be, ‘Well thanks a whole hell of a lot.’”</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">However, the findings suggested that “acting compassionately may be its own reward”, said Reis. According to him, the gains people get from selfless acts may be explained from an evolutionary perspective.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“Humans are wired to give,” he said. “We are a cooperative species, and there are mechanisms in us that promote social behaviour.”</span></p>

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Everything you need to know about Scott Morrison’s wife Jenny

<p>Jenny Morrison, a former registered nurse and the wife of Scott Morrison, has continued to lead a quiet life with her two daughters while her husband leads the country as Prime Minister.</p> <p>The 51-year-old even admitted to living as normal a life as possible, not just for her daughters but her mental health as well.</p> <p>When Scott Morrison was nominated by his Liberal Party colleagues as the new party’s leader last year, Jenny said she was blindsided.</p> <p>“I was in shock,” she told<span> </span><a rel="noopener" href="https://honey.nine.com.au/2019/02/17/07/54/jenny-morrison-interview-scott-morrison" target="_blank">9Honey</a> about when she learned of her husband’s new position back in August last year.</p> <p>"I did not see it coming," she said.</p> <p>Just a month later, the family packed their life into boxes and moved into Kirribilli House, the official PM residence located in Sydney’s lower north shore.</p> <p>In spite of being thrown into public life, Jenny maintains the family has been able to keep a normal routine.</p> <p>Here is everything you need to know about the woman behind the man with the most powerful job in Australia.</p> <p><strong>The first lady still gets her kids to school everyday</strong></p> <p>Although she lives over an hour away from her daughters’ school, that hasn’t stopped Jenny from travelling the distance each morning and afternoon for drop-offs and pick-ups.</p> <p>As well as driving her kids to school every morning, the 51-year-old chooses not to travel with any entourage and stops by the same café she used to.</p> <p>“They all can't believe it,” she said.</p> <p>“They're like, 'Oh my gosh, you're here! Where are your people?' And I went, 'No, it's just me'.”</p> <p>Their new life doesn’t stop Scott and Jenny’s girls from attending the same school they have always attended, located in the Sutherland Shire in NSW.</p> <p>“I might be the Prime Minister's wife, but I'm still a mum with two young girls and trying to keep things as normal as possible,” she explained.</p> <p>“I think maybe people picture that your life as the wife of the Prime Minister is glamorous and amazing and exciting. But no… I'm doing the same things everyone else does. It's hard work being a parent.”</p> <p><strong>The Morrison daughters are banned from social media</strong></p> <p>“They're not allowed to have Instagram accounts. Anything, actually – Snapchat, nothing,” Jenny said while explaining her strict parenting on technology use.</p> <p>“They're constantly telling me, 'It's not the 1980s, Mum' and I'm saying, 'I know, it's worse, so you do what we say.'”</p> <p><strong>Jenny and Scott met at 12 years of age</strong></p> <p>The pair both grew up in the heart of Sydney’s Sutherland Shire and met at the tender age of 12, at the Luna Park amusement park.</p> <p>Jenny liked Scott straight away and felt the same when they met again a year later at a Christian youth camp. Although Scott got Jenny’s number, she didn’t receive a phone call.</p> <p>The couple “finally” began dating at 16, after reconnecting with one another again. </p> <p>The happy couple have been together (despite a two-week break) and married since they were both 21.</p> <p><strong>The couple had children later in life</strong></p> <p>The Morrisons were not always a big family and didn’t have their first child until Jenny was 39 years old.</p> <p>Although the couple wanted children, Jenny admitted they were unable to conceive for almost 20 years.</p> <p>“Yes, I was very sad that I couldn't have children. That framed a lot of my life,” she said, opening up to <em>Australian Women’s Weekl</em>y in 2015.</p> <p>Jenny gave birth to the couple’s first daughter Abigail in 2007, and later her younger sister Lily was welcomed.</p> <p>“She is our miracle child, the answer to a lifetime of prayer and 14 years of painful, invasive, heartbreaking treatment,” Scott wrote at the time of his eldest daughter’s birth.</p> <p><strong>Jenny and Scott do not always see eye to eye when discussing politics</strong></p> <p>The Prime Minister has had controversial policies in the past, including his “Turn back the boats” strategy that occurred while he was Immigration Minister.</p> <p>While the ‘first lady’ won’t mention which policies she and her husband refuse to see eye to eye on, she has admitted that like every couple, they “disagree a lot.”</p> <p>“He doesn't make policies for me, I assure you … He'll ask me what I think because I come from a totally different mindset,” she shared.</p> <p>“So he gets a different viewpoint from me, which might be just a layperson's viewpoint. And sometimes we're not always on the same page.”</p> <p>Although her husband has flung himself into a political battlefield, which can admittedly be messy at times, Jenny has completely different aspirations in life.</p> <p>“My purpose in life is very simple – it's basically to be kind to absolutely everyone you can,” she said.</p> <p>“Because life is really about a series of connections with people.”</p> <p>Scroll through the gallery above to see Prime Minister Scott Morrison and his wife Jenny throughout the years.</p>

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NZ PM Jacinda Ardern reveals how Clarke Gayford proposed to her

<p>New Zealand Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern has revealed more details about her surprise proposal from long-term partner Clarke Gayford, as well as explaining why she doesn’t wear her engagement ring on her left hand.</p> <p>Despite her best attempts, a coy Ardern wasn’t able to dodge reporters’ questions about her recent proposal in a post-cabinet press conference in Wellington.</p> <p>Naturally, she was reluctant to spill too many details.</p> <p>“There are some things I don't mind keeping for ourselves,” Ms Ardern told reporters.</p> <p>“This is a very public job and I'm quite happy to put quite a bit of ourselves out there. But there are some things I wouldn't mind keeping to ourselves.”</p> <p>However, Ardern was more than happy to confirm where the proposal happened. It took place with a beautiful backdrop at the top of Mokotahi Hill in Mahia, which is on North Island’s east coast.</p> <blockquote style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/BhKwza3Fwta/" data-instgrm-version="12"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"></div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"></div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"></div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BhKwza3Fwta/" target="_blank">A post shared by Jason Lau (@meetjasonlau)</a> on Apr 4, 2018 at 5:11pm PDT</p> </div> </blockquote> <p>Ardern revealed who was on site when the proposal took place.</p> <p>“It was Clarke, myself, a member of the DPS (Diplomatic Protection Squad), a couple of locals from Mahia and a dog which tried to eat the chocolate that Clarke bought me at the same time, so it was very romantic,” she explained.</p> <p>She also admitted her partner didn’t get down on one knee, so the DPS member wasn’t aware of what was happening.</p> <p>"The DPS had no idea what had happened so that should be a giveaway," she said.</p> <p>As for why she doesn’t wear her new engagement ring on her left hand's ring finger?</p> <p>“I have not been trying to hide our news from anyone," Ardern explained.</p> <p>“It simply doesn't fit on the right finger, so that's why it's sitting in the middle.”</p> <p>Ardern, who welcomed her daughter Eliza, 10 months with Clarke in 2018, has also said she has “absolutely no idea” when she will walk down the aisle.</p> <p>"I was surprised by the question and as with probably many other couples we haven't made any plans at all," she said.</p> <p>She was quick to end personal questions at the conference, saying “I think we’re done? Good."</p>

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Sam Johnson: “I’ve fallen in love with my sister’s best friend”

<p>She’s been by his side even before the passing of his late sister Connie, and last week, Samuel Johnson took to Instagram to praise the “beautiful and gentle” woman who he’s fallen head over heels for.</p> <p>“This koala makes everything with me. We have built some unusual dreams together over many years,” he captioned a photo featuring the brunette with her face concealed. It was later discovered that the woman in question was Emma Rooke.</p> <p>“Without her heart and brain, my dreams would remain just that. Thanks for building all the things with me little miss koala. I hope to build one more, as always, but as we know, it’s not up to us.”</p> <p>While the pair have been close for a number of years, it wasn’t until Connie’s death their bond strengthened even further.</p> <blockquote style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/BmkvEKEnKp5/" data-instgrm-version="12"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"></div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"></div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"></div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <p style="margin: 8px 0 0 0; padding: 0 4px;"><a style="color: #000; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none; word-wrap: break-word;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BmkvEKEnKp5/" target="_blank">I'm a decent bloke but it's more because of these two than me. The one on my right raised me and loved me more than anyone else. The one on my left made all my dreams and ambitions real. One dream builder and one dream weaver equals a half decent fella. Nought without 'em is my point. Never forget how blessed we are fellas. Happy friday fuckers.</a></p> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;">A post shared by <a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/samueljjohnson78/" target="_blank"> Samuel Johnson</a> (@samueljjohnson78) on Aug 17, 2018 at 1:53am PDT</p> </div> </blockquote> <p>During his stint on<span> </span><em>Dancing With The Stars</em>, Emma was spotted in the crowd cheering him on as he ultimately won the competition, earning $50,000 for his charity Love Your Sister.</p> <p>“His eyes lit up when he talked about his partner, but I think the two of them try and keep their relationship private,” a<span> </span><em>DWTS</em><span> </span>staff member told<span> </span><em><a rel="noopener" href="https://www.nowtolove.com.au/celebrity/celeb-news/sam-johnson-new-girlfriend-55466" target="_blank">Woman’s Day</a>.</em></p> <p>“I know Emma was at the finale to see Sam win and she was with him at the party afterwards. I think it’s really sweet. If anyone deserves happiness, Sam does.”</p> <p>Emma and Connie initially met when they were 12 years old, it was during that time Connie was diagnosed with cancer for the first time.</p> <p>Shortly before Connie’s passing, Sam told his Instagram followers that Emma was his sister’s “bestie since, like, forever.”</p> <blockquote style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/_dokDElTSj/" data-instgrm-version="12"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"></div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"></div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"></div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <p style="margin: 8px 0 0 0; padding: 0 4px;"><a style="color: #000; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none; word-wrap: break-word;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/_dokDElTSj/" target="_blank">Time to knock off for a bit. Thanks for a great year. #nowisawesome @i.am.connie @samueljjohnson78</a></p> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;">A post shared by <a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/loveyoursister/" target="_blank"> Love Your Sister</a> (@loveyoursister) on Dec 18, 2015 at 10:17pm PST</p> </div> </blockquote> <p>“She runs LYS top to bottom since Day 1. On her business card her title is quite rightly ‘The Hecktickest’.”</p> <p>Emma then confirmed the pair were seeing each other, after sharing a photo of her and Sam and captioning it with words from an apparent love letter from the 41-year-old.</p> <p>“Her name is Emma and her heart is very almost too big. Thanks for being so thoughtful to so many Emma. One day I’m going to find the present for you that makes your heart sore no more. Just like you did for me.”</p> <p>It ends with, “I love you always, from you know who.”</p> <p>The Logie award winning actor hasn’t had an easy life, with his mum committing suicide when he was only a toddler, followed by his former girlfriend, Lainie Woodlands, also taking her life in 2006 after they broke up.</p> <p>These events led to the entertainer spiralling into depression, but now, friends say that thanks to Emma, Sam is learning to enjoy life once again.</p>

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How to turn your emotional baggage into dating success

<p>It may seem that new relationships are entirely fuelled by dreams and hopes for a perfect future. But the past can have a powerful influence too – often more so than we would like to admit. The <a href="https://www.amazon.co.uk/Attraction-Explained-Viren-Swami/dp/1138937037/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&amp;ie=UTF8&amp;qid=1486381044&amp;sr=1-1&amp;keywords=attraction+explained">“emotional baggage”</a> that we bring from the past can mean that we sometimes pick a partner who’s not quite right, make bad relationship decisions or find it difficult to fully devote ourselves to the person we are with.</p> <p>This idea has its roots in John Bowlby’s <a href="https://www.amazon.co.uk/Attachment-One-Loss-Trilogy-Vol/dp/0712674713/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&amp;qid=1486381145&amp;sr=8-1&amp;keywords=attachment+and+loss">attachment theory</a>, which suggests that individuals differ in the way they approach and respond to the world. These different styles are thought to be based on past experiences of relating to important people in our lives, <a href="https://www.amazon.co.uk/Patterns-Attachment-Psychology-Routledge-Editions/dp/1848726821/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&amp;qid=1486381220&amp;sr=8-1&amp;keywords=patterns+of+attachment">particularly our parents</a>. The effects of childhood attachment become embedded in “working models” that influence how we form relationships in adulthood.</p> <p>Working models are the mental representations that we hold about ourselves and other people, and that develop through experiences with people we are attached to. A working model might include expectations about our self-worth, beliefs about how other people behave in relationships and ideas about what to expect from relationships.</p> <p>But it’s not just childhood relationships that shape us – adult relationship histories <a href="/psycnet.apa.org/journals/psp/52/3/511/">can also influence relationships</a>. The psychologist Susan Andersen termed this process in which working models developed from past romantic relationships come to influence new relationships as “<a href="/onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.1467-6494.1994.tb00306.x/full">transference</a>”.</p> <p>In her view, past experiences in romantic relationships can affect how we approach and relate to new partners, as well as our behaviours and motivations in new relationships. As a simple example, someone who had an unfaithful partner in the past <a href="/psycnet.apa.org/journals/psp/59/5/971/">may develop a working model</a> in which other people cannot be trusted. This may mean that he or she finds it more difficult to form stable, trusting relationships in the future.</p> <p>Working models of relationships may also explain why some people <a href="/psycnet.apa.org/psycinfo/2005-00319-012">recreate aspects of past relationships</a> with new partners. For example, if I did not receive much affection from an ex, I might still form new relationships that recreate those same patterns. Andersen believed we do this because we seek what was missing in past relationships – instead of running from someone who reminds me of an unaffectionate ex, I form a relationship with a new person hoping to gain what was <a href="http://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/15298860701800092">what was missing</a>. But this only serves to confirm my existing working model of myself as unlovable and of potential partners as unaffectionate.</p> <p>Luckily, it’s not all bad news. There are ways to prevent this from happening.</p> <p><strong>How you can take charge</strong></p> <p>Sometimes, past negative experiences can sow the seeds for healthier future relationships. For example, the period following a breakup is important because it may lead to personal growth and development. This is known as “<a href="https://books.google.co.uk/books?hl=en&amp;lr=&amp;id=Bs6QAgAAQBAJ&amp;oi=fnd&amp;pg=PP1&amp;dq=tedeschi+1998&amp;ots=CDcCyRi2Dt&amp;sig=3jig_iSBX_nGsPnMRSqqY85TJrc">stress-related growth</a>” and refers to the idea that people can respond to distressing life events by growing beyond their previous level of psychological functioning.</p> <p>In fact, some people may make the greatest changes in their lives following a period of stress or crisis after a breakup. This could change how reliant they are on themselves and other people, make them form closer bonds with family and friends, or even change life priorities. One study found that the experience of a recent breakup <a href="/onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/1475-6811.00039/full">resulted in personal growth</a>, which the participants believed would help them form more positive relationships in the future.</p> <p>But you do not need to experience a breakup to begin forming healthier relationships. While there are no quick fixes, <a href="/psycnet.apa.org/psycinfo/2005-00319-012">developing a clearer picture of your working models</a> and how these might be affecting your relationships is a good starting point. Take some time to think critically about your past relationships – put it down on paper if it’s useful or seek the help of a trained professional – and try to develop greater awareness of your transference patterns and when they occur.</p> <p>Once you have an idea of your transference patterns, the next step is to <a href="http://psycnet.apa.org/journals/pst/49/3/370/">identify cues</a> observed in a new person or context that evoke those patterns. What traits, behaviours or experiences with an ex (or exes) act as triggering cues in new relationships? Recognising these <a href="http://psycnet.apa.org/journals/pst/49/3/370/">triggering cues</a> is vital if you are to ultimately gain control and intentionally change your behaviours. With time and practice, you should become more aware of these cues the moment they occur and this provides an opportunity to respond differently.</p> <p>One piece of advice I have found useful is to use an <a href="http://psycnet.apa.org/journals/amp/54/7/493/">IF-THEN</a> plan. Once you are aware of your transference patterns and recognise triggering cues, make a plan that highlights these signals (the IF) and link it to a new way of behaving (the THEN). For example, “IF a new person is as unaffectionate as an ex was, THEN I will avoid this person”. By thinking and planning ahead of time, we can begin to master our behaviours in relationships.</p> <p>Beyond this, viewing yourself as worthy, accepted and decent is vital for forming and maintaining healthy relationships. Some therapists highlight the positive impact that <a href="http://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/15298868.2011.639548">self-compassion</a> – being kind, caring and understanding toward yourself – can play in promoting healthier relationships. People who are self-compassionate accept that they are imperfect human beings who experience hardship and difficulties, but are nevertheless worthy of compassion. New relationships can be <a href="https://www.amazon.co.uk/Attraction-Explained-Viren-Swami/dp/1138937037/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&amp;ie=UTF8&amp;qid=1486381044&amp;sr=1-1&amp;keywords=attraction+explained">stressful</a>, so be kind to yourself even when you do make errors of judgement.<!-- Below is The Conversation's page counter tag. Please DO NOT REMOVE. --><img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important; text-shadow: none !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/72696/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /><!-- End of code. If you don't see any code above, please get new code from the Advanced tab after you click the republish button. The page counter does not collect any personal data. More info: http://theconversation.com/republishing-guidelines --></p> <p><em>Written by <span>Viren Swami, Professor of Social Psychology, Anglia Ruskin University</span>. Republished with permission of </em><a href="https://theconversation.com/how-to-turn-your-emotional-baggage-into-dating-success-72696"><em>The Conversation</em></a><em>.</em></p>

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Kylie Gillies celebrates 30 years of marriage: Inside her sweet photo album

<p>Kylie Gillies is just one of the many examples in show business that love can stand the test of time after celebrating 30 years of marriage yesterday with her husband, Tony Gillies.</p> <p><em>The Morning Show</em><span> </span>host took to social media to share sweet memories with supporters, friends and family by posting images of her and Tony’s long-lasting marriage.</p> <p>In her caption she wrote: “30 years of Mr and Mrs Gillies. Happy anniversary my darling Tone, Let’s get cracking on another 30 years of us…”</p> <p>The sweet message was followed by a series of heartwarming photographs showcasing over 30 years of life together, the first being a throwback image of the couple’s wedding day alongside the Gillies’ now.</p> <p>The gallery also features memories of the family while Kylie was pregnant with her second son.</p> <p>Lisa Wilkinson shared her congratulations to the couple, writing: “So much happiness and beautiful shared moments there Kylie. Congrats.</p> <p>“A successful marriage takes love and patience and forgiveness and tolerance and work (sometimes on days when you don’t have any of that to give)! And look at the family and wonderful memories you’ve created.”</p> <p>The 52-year-old journalist shares two sons with her husband, Gus and Archie.</p> <p>Scroll through the gallery above to see the sweet series of photographs celebrating Kylie Gillies' 30 years of marriage to Tony.</p> <p><em>Images: Instagram @kyliegillies</em></p>

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Meet Bill Shorten’s first wife – Deborah Beale

<p>Ask any Australian about a man named Bill Shorten and chances are, they’ll know exactly who you’re talking about.</p> <p>And with the upcoming federal election looming, Bill and his wife Chloe Shorten have been partners in crime as they campaign for the top spot of Prime Minister.</p> <p>But while the couple regularly grace our television screens, what you may not know is that years before the pair crossed paths, Bill was actually married to someone else.</p> <p>The leader of the Labor party married his first wife Deborah Beale in 2000, well before he entered the political scene.</p> <p style="text-align: center;"><img style="width: 500px; height: 281.25px;" src="/media/7826479/bill-shorten.jpg" alt="" data-udi="umb://media/85c6fe4c858f4f1b81da22765874df53" /></p> <p style="text-align: center;"><em>Bill Shorten and Deborah Beale (left) - Source: <a href="https://twitter.com/putlaborlast/status/961508776808349696?lang=en">Twitter</a></em></p> <p>And Deborah wasn’t an ordinary woman either, as she was the daughter of Melbourne billionaire and former Liberal MP Julian Beale.</p> <p>During that time, Bill was the national secretary of the Australian Worker’s Union (AWU) and a few years later, in 2007, he was elected as Labor MP for Maribyrnong.</p> <p>The two never shared any children together, but despite not having a family of their own, they shared a happy and loving marriage.</p> <p>The politician even mentioned Deborah’s name during his maiden speech in February 2008, giving her a special shout out.</p> <p>“Above all others – and I can say this on Valentine’s Day – I thank my wife, Deb Beale, an endlessly intelligent, supportive and loving woman,” he said.</p> <p>“I knew this instantly from my first outing, when she agreed to visit a picket line with me.”</p> <p>In 2007, Bill revived his friendship with the then Chloe Bryce.</p> <p>They had met before, at a resources industry conference back when Bill worked for the AWU.</p> <blockquote style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/BwGL4ftn5jA/" data-instgrm-version="12"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"></div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"></div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"></div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <p style="margin: 8px 0 0 0; padding: 0 4px;"><a style="color: #000; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none; word-wrap: break-word;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BwGL4ftn5jA/" target="_blank">Campaign essentials: United and experienced team ✅ Fair Go Action Plan ✅ Best friend at my side ✅ Let's get it done @mschloeshorten</a></p> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;">A post shared by <a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/billshortenmp/" target="_blank"> Bill Shorten</a> (@billshortenmp) on Apr 10, 2019 at 6:22pm PDT</p> </div> </blockquote> <p>“He was the headline act,” wrote Chloe in her book<span> </span><em>Take Heart: Story For Modern Stepfamilies</em>, “and I was off-off-Broadway, in a steering group.”</p> <p>When the two met, Chloe said that she was “in the slow and difficult process of separation from my first husband, and it was a very stressful time for my family.”</p> <p>She’s the offspring of the esteemed former Governor General Quentin Bryce, whose house is where the two reconnected.</p> <p>According to<span> </span><a rel="noopener" href="https://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/" target="_blank"><em>The Sunday Telegraph</em></a>, it was shortly after that meeting when Bill ended his marriage with Debbie in 2008 and revealed that he and Chloe were dating.</p> <p>Bill and Debbie have yet to give their version of what exactly happened the night they split up, but Labor insiders told<span> </span><em>The Telegraph</em><span> </span>that Bill broke up with Debbie at an AFL game, saying he didn’t “think” he “wanted to be married anymore.”</p> <p>The insider said the admission “totally shocked” Debbie.</p> <p>In 2009, Chloe and Bill announced their engagement, followed by baby news, as the couple were expecting their first child together.</p> <p>Debbie was contacted for her input on the situation, but she simply declined to comment after saying “You’re tempting me.”</p> <p>According to friends of Debbie, when Bill revealed Chloe was pregnant, he was still going through the divorce process with his first wife.</p> <p style="text-align: center;"><img style="width: 0px; height:0px;" src="/media/7826490/qb.jpg" alt="" data-udi="umb://media/ebc7528fee914d6eb7f37a943e97b66a" /></p> <p style="text-align: center;"><em>Former Governer General, Dame Quentin Bryce</em></p> <p>“Interesting that Mr Shorten and Ms Bryce are expecting a baby, while both remain married to other people,” they said.</p> <p>Fast forward to present time, the Shorten’s have their own family consisting of Clementine who the two share together, and her half-siblings from Chloe’s first marriage.</p> <p>Sitting down with<span> </span><a rel="noopener" href="https://www.nowtolove.com.au/aww" target="_blank"><em>The Australian Women’s Weekly</em></a><span> </span>in 2017, Bill said he has no intention of trying to replace the role of Chloe’s kids – Rupert and Georgette’s – father, saying he wants to help parent them instead.</p> <p>“For the older two, they call me Bill,” he said.</p> <p>“But the little one goes from calling you ‘Daddy’ to ‘Bill’ and she naturally started doing that,” said Chloe.</p>

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Why we all want the same things in a partner

<p>Whether it’s in reality TV or glossy magazines, sex appeal, fat bank accounts, kind eyes and cute smiles are often served up as the attributes that make for anyone’s dream partner. But these characteristics merely reflect gross exaggerations of important evolutionary qualities that we actually want in a long-term partner.</p> <p>Based on research from both <a href="http://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1111/1467-8721.00070">evolutionary and social psychology</a>, researchers have categorised how we appraise potential partners into three broad features. These are: the degree to which a partner exudes reproductive capacity (“vitality and attractiveness”), a partner’s ability to provide (“status and resources”), and the partner’s “warmth and trustworthiness”.</p> <p>These features act as fundamental signals a potential partner has good genes and is a good investment.</p> <p><strong>1. Vitality and attractiveness</strong></p> <p>In pop culture, vitality and attractiveness can be represented as good looks or sex appeal. But it’s not completely accurate to reduce someone’s physical appearance to such characteristics when we’re considering them as a long-term partner. Yes, being attracted to a partner is fundamental to sexual desire and arousal, but when we take in a person’s physical appearance, we take in more than whether they’re good looking.</p> <p>We seek to determine if they take care of their health, if they exude energy, and the extent to which they demonstrate charisma and appear outgoing. That is, the vitality and health of a person is what really matters, whether we are conscious of it or not. These qualities, reflected in a person’s physical appearance, signal they have <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/11301543">some reproductive advantage</a>.</p> <p>There is some evidence to suggest men sometimes rate vitality and attractiveness higher than women, but the difference between the sexes is often small and extinguished when it comes to seeking a long-term partner. Various studies even find that men and women seeking long-term relationships <a href="http://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1111/1467-8721.00070">regard this quality as less important</a> than warmth and trustworthiness in particular.</p> <p><strong>2. Status and resources</strong></p> <p>What relationship science terms “status and resources” isn’t about the big bank account, luxurious house or car, or the high-paying job. We’re not all that materialistic, nor do we all deeply desire great wealth and social standing. In fact, studies show <a href="http://www.pnas.org/content/107/38/16489.short">most people don’t need</a> a large amount of money to be happy in life.</p> <p>So, status and resources is about the capacity to <em>provide</em> for one’s partner and family, not about a glamorous lifestyle. From this perspective, all we are really looking for is someone who has a decent job, appears financially secure and is willing to contribute to maintaining a family home.</p> <p>So this quality is really about food, shelter, and other essentials for our partners and children – both now and into the future.</p> <p><strong>3. Warmth and trustworthiness</strong></p> <p>Warmth and trustworthiness is <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/9972554">rated as very important</a> in a potential partner by both men and women.</p> <p>From songs and movies, we might think having kind eyes and a nice smile are enough to reflect warmth and trustworthiness. But these qualities are indicators of how caring a person is and the extent to which a potential mate can meet our fundamental need for love, comfort and security. According to research into <a href="https://www.elsevier.com/books/adult-attachment/gillath/978-0-12-420020-3">adult attachment</a>, our desire to seek comfort in times of threat and distress means we look to potential mates for signals of their capacity to be considerate, loving, kind and understanding at such times.</p> <p>So, a person who seems to exude a warm persona is likely to encompass attributes that ensure our attachment needs are met. The more reliable they are in meeting our needs for love, comfort and security, the more trusting we become of them.</p> <p>Trustworthiness, in particular, is a <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/20565183">strong quality</a> when it comes to stability in relationships. This is because trust <a href="http://psycnet.apa.org/record/2001-07168-005">reduces uncertainty</a> about the faithfulness and commitment of one’s partner. People who feel more trusting of their partner report feeling more satisfied in one’s relationship than those who experience a lack of trust.</p> <p>Being warm and trustworthy not only signals a partner will take care of you emotionally, but that they will do the same with your children.</p> <p><strong>Keep to realistic standards</strong></p> <p>Studies suggest people who see their current romantic partner as falling short of the above characteristics tend to <a href="http://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0146167201274006">evaluate their relationships</a> more negatively than those who see their partner as embodying these qualities.</p> <p>This finding is especially pronounced for people who set lofty ideals and aren’t willing to compromise, even when a partner doesn’t fall too short on these qualities. People who have some flexibility around the extent a partner embodies these qualities are likely to report greater relationship quality than those who show no sign of compromise.</p> <p>So the moral to the story is it’s fine to maintain standards, but if standards are too unrealistic or lofty, a partner who largely embodies all three qualities will still be seen as falling short of the ideal.<!-- Below is The Conversation's page counter tag. Please DO NOT REMOVE. --><img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important; text-shadow: none !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/88557/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /><!-- End of code. If you don't see any code above, please get new code from the Advanced tab after you click the republish button. The page counter does not collect any personal data. More info: http://theconversation.com/republishing-guidelines --></p> <p><em>Written by <span>Gery Karantzas, Associate professor in Social Psychology / Relationship Science, Deakin University</span>. Republished with permission of </em><a href="https://theconversation.com/we-all-want-the-same-things-in-a-partner-but-why-88557"><em>The Conversation</em></a><em>. </em></p>

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