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How to leave a financial legacy in a tax-effective manner

The taxman needn’t be the biggest beneficiary of your financial legacy – so long as your plans are properly enacted while you still walk the earth. While Australia doesn’t have an inheritance tax per se, there are a range of other tax implications and inheritance rules to consider – which may determine how, and even if, you leave a financial legacy for your loved ones. Where there’s a will In 2015, it was estimated that just over half of Australians (59 per cent) have a will. I’d wager a good chunk of those are outdated too – not reflecting separations, remarriage or additions to the family. Most people without a will aren’t choosing to avoid one, but apathy about the need for one has set in. It is difficult to leave a financial legacy – other than confusion and conflict – if you don’t have a current will in place upon your death. Not only does it outline your wishes as to who gets what, it forces you to consider how each asset will be passed down and minimise the taxes and other costs your beneficiaries will inherit. Remember too that your beneficiary may be subject to Capital Gains Tax (CGT) on assets they sell. For example, if you leave someone a rental property, they will likely have to pay CGT when they sell it for the time you owned it – even if they made it their primary residence. That could come as a nasty shock to them. Nothing and no one is equal Not all assets are treated equally; neither are all beneficiaries. For instance, certain entities are governed separately from your will. Superannuation is perhaps the main one, but so too are trusts and companies. Hence you should nominate beneficiaries of these entities to ensure they pass on to your intended recipients. Otherwise, they may be subject to a forced sale – wiping out your legacy. Keep them updated too – otherwise your ex could get an unintended windfall. For jointly owned properties, whether you are tenants in common or joint tenants will determine whether they have automatic right of survivorship. A superannuation death benefit may or may not be taxable, depending on various factors at the time of your death. And if you leave an asset to charity that is subject to CGT, it is your estate – not the charity – which bears the tax burden. So, you may want to leave extra cash in your estate to cover this. Keeping assets in the family A financial legacy usually involves family and passing assets down through generations. How these assets are structured often dictates the ease and cost of doing so. As superannuation is treated outside of a will, it can be great for distributing money within a blended family to ensure everyone is provided for. Self-managed super funds (SMSFs) can include multiple generations but may add complexity when someone retires and begins drawing down super before others do. Or if the asset is illiquid. Conversely, family trusts can offer more flexibility for family-owned assets than super but may not provide the same tax benefits. Also consider how any children or grandchildren under 18 are provided for – and who oversees their inheritance until they turn 18. Testamentary Discretionary Trusts (TDTs) can be useful, taxing assets at the adult rate instead of the higher child tax rate. Good business Ownership structures and new management can affect the profitability and even viability of a business as a going concern, as well as its goodwill among customers, staff, and suppliers. Family businesses should have a plan for who will assume operational control, and whether each director will inherit an equal share. For business partnerships, consider buy/sell agreements to manage insurance policies and ownerships to surviving business partners and your spouse or children. Meanwhile, examine financial and tax implications too. Outstanding director loans to you can affect the tax status of both the business and your personal estate. And commercial transactions may attract transfer duties or stamp duty. Helen Baker is a licensed Australian financial adviser and author of the new book, On Your Own Two Feet: The Essential Guide to Financial Independence for all Women (Ventura Press, $32.99). Helen is among the 1% of financial planners who hold a master’s degree in the field. Proceeds from book sales are donated to charities supporting disadvantaged women and children. Find out more at www.onyourowntwofeet.com.au Image: Shutterstock

Money & Banking

14 etiquette rules we should never have abandoned

Good manners never go out of style Good manners evolve, but they never go out of style. If you’re skipping these social niceties, your manners may need a makeover. RSVPing in a timely manner Maybe it’s because people receive so many invitations or perhaps it’s because invites have become so casual, often sent via email or social media, but the fact is that RSVPing has become as rare as men removing their hats indoors. While the hat issue isn’t a big deal anymore, failing to respond to an invite is not just a breach of good etiquette but a breach of basic humanity, says etiquette expert and author of Modern Etiquette for a Better Life, Diane Gottsman. “People need to buy food, plan entertainment, and other things that take significant cost and time,” she says. “Not RSVPing or waiting until the last minute makes the host’s job infinitely harder.” Taking off your sunglasses indoors Go anywhere these days and you’re likely to see a variety of shaded eyes, even in indoor venues. Is everyone nursing a hangover, or is it just one more sign of our avoidance of others? “Unless you’re an A-list celebrity, don’t be shady: remove your sunglasses when greeting someone,” says etiquette expert and author of A Traveler’s Passport to Etiquette, Lisa Grotts. “Without eye contact, you can’t communicate properly, and looking at someone when they’re speaking increases understanding and shows respect.” If you’re outdoors, it’s fine to put your sunglasses on after you’ve greeted the person, but skip the shades when you’re indoors. Returning phone calls Etiquette changes with the times and technology has forced some interesting compromises in this area, but not all of them are good. Take, for instance, the common practice of returning a phone call with a text. “Many people don’t like to talk on the phone and feel it is an inconvenience, but if someone has made the effort to call you, it is polite to call them back – with an actual phone call,” Gottsman says. “It’s easier to hear context, and complicated or sensitive information can be shared better via voice.” Waiting in line Who isn’t in a hurry these days? Yet too many people feel like they’re entitled to special treatment and, as a result, they skip basic kindergarten-level niceties, like waiting in line and taking turns. Being late or impatient doesn’t mean you’re special and you get to cut to the front of the line, Grotts says. Ironically, people who jump the queue are often the ones who get the most upset when others take a shortcut. The bottom line about queues: treat others the way you’d like to be treated. Holding the lift Too many people have developed an unfortunate wariness of strangers or have an attitude of ‘not my problem’ when they see someone else struggling in public. However, as long as safety isn’t an issue, you should still adhere to basic niceties, like holding the lift door for someone running down the hall, Gottsman says. “Many of us don’t even realise someone needs help because we’re looking at our phones,” she explains. “You should try to be mindful of others around you.” Being on time Punctuality is a seriously underrated skill in today’s society. Even as things get more efficient and technology gets more accurate, it seems that we humans are finding more and more reasons to be late. This is very disrespectful, Grotts says. “When you are late, it says that your time is more important than everyone else’s.” Opening doors for men and women Strange views of chivalry abound, but politeness is not gender-specific, Gottsman says. “Everyone appreciates not having a door slammed in their face, and it’s so easy to do. Why wouldn’t you do that small kindness?” She adds that it’s equally important for the person for whom the door is being opened to acknowledge the kindness with a ‘thank you’ or even just a nod. Note: You don’t have to hold open the door for the next 30 people. Remembering the little words ‘Please’. ‘Thank you’. ‘You’re welcome’. ‘May I?’ These simple words matter, Gotts says. “These basic social niceties can never be said too much and are the foundation of politeness,” she explains. “There is no excuse not to use them.” Asking permission first This one may seem like a no-brainer, but we live in a society that seems to go by the motto ‘it’s better to apologise than ask permission’. People often assume consent and act accordingly – whether that’s hugging someone, posting a picture of them online, or snagging a taste of their food. “It’s polite to always ask permission before doing something to or for someone else,” says Bonnie Tsai, founder and director of Beyond Etiquette. It doesn’t need to take a lot of time or involve a formal contract. Getting permission can be as simple as asking, “Are you OK with this?” Sending thank-you notes Everyone loves to be thanked, but hardly anyone seems to remember to do it these days. “Any way of saying thank you is wonderful, including a text or email,” Gottsman says. “But the gold standard is still a handwritten thank-you card.” Seeing your handwriting is meaningful to your loved ones, as is knowing that you took the time to do this. Plus, many people like to save these cards, and that’s much harder to do with an electronic thank-you. Minding your own business Gossip makes for excellent television but terrible real-life relationships, and that fact is truer than ever in this age of constant information and instant communication. “You need to be so careful about what you say, both in public and private, about others,” says Gottsman. “Not only is it not polite to speak about others behind their backs, but it protects you as well. Remember: The internet is forever!” Standing when greeting someone new When being introduced to someone new or greeting someone who’s coming into a group, it’s polite to stand to acknowledge them – and this is true for both men and women, Tsai says. “It shows that you are welcoming and also indicates respect.” Apologising, sincerely, in person Watch any news channel and you’ll see many examples of faux-apologising – pretending to say they’re sorry while not actually accepting any responsibility or changing their behaviour. This is not only terrible etiquette but also counterproductive, Gottsman says. “If you’ve made a mistake, the right thing to do is to own up to it and apologise, sincerely, in person,” she says. If you’re too far away for this to be feasible, a phone call or video chat is the next best thing. Apologising over text almost never goes well since it’s too difficult to read tone and intent. Using good table manners “Having proper table manners is sometimes seen as being ‘stuffy’ or ‘stuck up,’ but nothing could be further from the truth,” Gottsman says. “The whole point of practising good manners at the table is to ensure everyone has a positive, comfortable dining experience.” It’s not as tricky as you think. Written by Charlotte Hilton Andersen. This article first appeared on <a href="https://www.readersdigest.com.au/culture/14-etiquette-rules-we-should-never-have-abandoned?pages=1">Reader’s Digest</a>. For more of what you love from the world’s best-loved magazine, <a href="http://readersdigest.com.au/subscribe">here’s our best subscription offer</a>.

Mind

15 questions polite people never ask

<div class="share-buttons"> <div class="addthis_inline_share_toolbox" data-url="https://www.readersdigest.com.au/culture/15-questions-polite-people-never-ask" data-title="15 questions polite people never ask | Reader's Digest Australia" data-description="While your intentions may come from the right place, you need to think about how a question will make the object of your interrogation feel before speaking. Here are the questions that experts say to put on your "just don't say it" list."> <div class="at-resp-share-element at-style-responsive addthis-smartlayers addthis-animated at4-show at-mobile" aria-labelledby="at-a02d1d62-6b60-4b42-a7aa-4fc057d9ccc5"> How to tell if a question is appropriate Asking questions is usually a means to an end. You need information, the person you’re speaking with (hopefully) has answers. However, while this works great for “What time does the store close” or “What is your favourite book?” it gets sticky when you veer into personal territory, says Sarah Epstein, MFT, a relationship therapist. Many people may think they’re just making “polite conversation” by asking questions of the other person but they are actually coming across as intrusive or judgmental, she says. How do you know the difference? “A good rule of thumb is that polite people always think about the impact of their words instead of only thinking about the information they want to learn,” she says. You’re so cute, why are you still single? “Thoughtful, polite people don’t ask about a person’s relationship status because they know that it can be a sensitive subject for many,” Epstein says. The other issue with this question is the word “still” – something you should try to avoid because it comes across as inherently judgmental in any personal question, she adds. Why don’t you have kids yet? Polite people never ask about reproduction because they know that a person’s choice whether or not to have children can be a very touchy subject, laden with potential landmines, Epstein says. “These types of questions often lead to hurt feelings, particularly for those who struggle with infertility or those who have chosen not to have children but continually receive questions about their decision,” she says. You look so thin! Have you lost weight? For many people this may seem like the ultimate compliment, acknowledging someone else’s hard work. But unless you know for sure that the person was trying to lose weight and that they are OK with you commenting on their body, steer clear. “Polite people avoid questioning or commenting on others’ weight at all,” Epstein says. “Superficial questions rarely lead to fulfilling conversations. Plus weight loss can have many sources, including illness, eating disorders, anxiety and grief.” Why haven’t you put a ring on it yet? Even in couples who’ve been together for years, not all relationships lead to marriage and not all partners are looking to be wed, says Jodi R. R. Smith, etiquette expert and founder of Mannersmith. “The only people who should be asking these questions are the ones in the relationship,” she says. “If you just want a reason to attend a big party, you should host one yourself (after the pandemic, of course).” You seem like you’re doing well, how much money do you make? The only people allowed to ask this question are professional headhunters doing a confidential salary survey, Smith says. “If you are just curious how much your friend, cousin, or neighbour makes at their job, you can quell that curiosity by looking it up on a salary website,” she says. “Many etiquette rules have relaxed but asking about money is still tres gauche.” I’m sorry to hear your dad passed, how did he die? Curiosity about someone’s death is natural and very human, especially during a pandemic of a deadly virus, but this is still one question you shouldn’t ask, Smith says. “You need to remember that the person you are talking to is in mourning and that’s no time to play amateur detective,” she says. “You should be expressing your condolences and looking for ways to comfort the mourner and that’s it.” Plus, there are generally kinder routes to finding that information (like Google) that don’t put the burden on the family. Why do you look so tired? You may think you’re expressing concern for their health and wellbeing but what the listener likely hears is “you look bad,” says Bonnie Tsai, etiquette expert and founder and director of Beyond Etiquette. “They may be experiencing some health issues that are causing them to feel more fatigued than usual or they may just appear that way all the time,” she says. “There’s no need for you to make them feel like they need to appear a certain way that’s acceptable for your standards or society’s standards.” So, who are you voting for? “Politics has always been a taboo subject for the dinner table and most social situations because it can alter the mood of a conversation very quickly,” Tsai says. “You can never be too sure of other people’s political affiliation and values and no one likes to be put on the spot by that question.” This is particularly important to remember these days when politics, religion, and other hot button issues are centre stage. Why don’t you get out more? You may see this as a gentle way to chide your friend into trying new things, hanging out, or even travelling more. “However, this question can be perceived as offensive because it sounds as if you are suggesting the person needs more exposure and knowledge and they are uninteresting,” she says. This may also be a sore subject if someone doesn’t have the same financial resources as you and wants to do more things but can’t afford to, she adds. Oh, where is his dad? This is one of these uncomfortable, painful and unnecessary questions that too often pop out in the moment, without thinking, Parker says. “This is an intensely personal question and if people would like to talk about their personal life they tell you,” she says. “Resist asking to satisfy your curiosity about their family situation.” Are you a man or a woman? We are living in a very different time than previous generations and gender and sexuality are frequent topics around us but while it’s fine to discuss it in the abstract, it’s not fine to pepper an individual about their identity, surgeries, treatments, or anything else gender-related, Parker says. “Asking someone about their gender or sexual orientation is rude, inconsiderate, and in some circumstances, derogatory,” she says. How old are you? This is the perennial “do not ask” question and it is still on the list for good reason, Parker says. “We all know people who do not feel comfortable answering this particular question and that’s all you really need to know about it,” she says. Why they’re not interested in discussing their age isn’t any of your business. Why are you parking in the handicapped spot? “Any kind of question related to any kind of disability should be nixed,” Parker says. It’s normal to be curious but many disabilities aren’t readily visible and your question may lead them to feel uncomfortable or defensive. You’re basically asking them to tell you details of their private health history. “Anything about physical appearance related to a disability or disabilities should be strictly avoided,” she says. Are you pregnant? There really isn’t a safe answer to this question, and that’s the problem, says Lisa Mirza Grotts, etiquette expert and founder of the Golden Rules Gal. She may be pregnant but if she wanted you to know she would tell you but more likely she’s not. “A lot of women carry weight in their midsection and pointing this out is insensitive and hurtful,” she says. What religion are you? Just like politics, religious or faith-based beliefs are very personal and oftentimes questions about religion are based on assumptions, like location, ethnicity, or appearance, Grotts says. “In conversation with another you might have an idea about someone’s religion but never press the subject unless they bring it up first or they are a good friend,” she says. <div class="author"> Written by Charlotte Hilton Andersen. This article first appeared on <a href="https://www.readersdigest.com.au/culture/15-questions-polite-people-never-ask?pages=1">Reader’s Digest</a>. For more of what you love from the world’s best-loved magazine, <a href="http://readersdigest.com.au/subscribe">here’s our best subscription offer</a>. </div> </div> </div> </div>

Mind

What ever happened to good manners?

I grew up in a village in the UK and remember well that all adults felt free to comment on my behaviour if I stepped out of line. There were no special school buses - just the regular bus, on which school children paid half-price. It was not uncommon for the driver to stop the bus and walk down the aisle obliging half-price schoolkids to stand for full-price adults, but mostly he didn’t need to. We knew the rules and offered our seats as a matter of routine. The enforcement of expected behaviour shapes and maintains the communities in which we live: If you belong around here then this is right and that’s wrong. This is polite and that’s rude. I suspect that such boundary maintenance is easier to do in small scale societies. Less so in cities. Recently, I heard from one very angry Sydney-sider: “I stood up for a much older women as soon as I saw her getting on the bus and a teenager guy sat down in the seat instead! The older woman had to stand (and so did I). I was livid. The poor woman was almost falling over and no-one cared a jot." That wouldn’t have happened in my village! She followed-up with a text image of a young woman occupying two seats on a full bus (one seat for her and one for her handbag). Headphones on and engrossed in social media, it’s evident that she had no awareness of the needs of others. On the other hand, it can be constraining if everyone is constantly on your case about good behaviour (and we all have something to learn). There’s a point where it becomes downright interference. Yet our Sydney-sider longed for the involvement of others and my village bus driver, Dennis, wouldn’t have let her down. There was no way a teenage boy would nab the only vacant seat on his bus! Rudeness can be relative. It’s been decades since I travelled in Japan, but I still have a vivid memory of a woman on a bus so crowded that she had to stand with one foot on each of the two steps that descended to the exit. Even worse, she was carrying a child on her back who had his leg in plaster. I was horrified that the schoolkids on the bus didn’t jump up to offer her a seat. So I did, but she wouldn’t take it. I still don’t understand why not. Maybe I was rude to offer? When I conducted a straw poll asking friends to provide stories of rudeness, most saw it as a sin of omission rather than commission: “More than rudeness, I notice invisibility as I get older when I am waiting at counters, waiting for service at a cafe or at the butcher. I find you have to be very alert to the serving people and notice where you are in the queue or you'll get overlooked." I know what she means. Medical receptionists are very good at keeping me waiting whilst they’re busy doing something much more important than attend to incoming patients. So, given that ‘rudeness’ various across culture and time, how do we handle it when it happens? Dennis, my UK village bus driver confronted rude behaviour, but I suspect that Australians are more inclined to step-back, like our Sydneysider who just seethed inside. There is an element of self-preservation in this as Lizzie noted: “I try to avoid noticing rudeness or taking it personally, if I encounter it. I assume the person is just a rude person who is indiscriminately rude to everyone - not just me." Written by Lyn Martin. Republished with permission of <a href="https://www.wyza.com.au/articles/lifestyle/relationships/what-ever-happened-to-good-manners.aspx">Wyza.com.au.</a>

Retirement Life

7 forgotten manners every parent should teach their child

An important part of raising your child is teaching them good manners that they are able to apply not only around you, but also when they are on their own. Being polite can set your child up for success later in life. Beyond the basic “please” and “thank you,” you want your child to be able to show respect to their elders and know how to be a polite guest. Enforce these manners from an early age, and your child will catch on in no time. 1. "Please" and "thank you" Teach your child to always say, “Please” when asking for something and “Thank you” when receiving something or someone has helped them. 2. "Excuse me" Teach them to say, “Excuse me” when they need to get through a crowd, bump into someone or want to get someone’s attention. 3. Please don't interrupt Teach them to not interrupt, whether it be interrupting a conversation between two people that they are not a part of (unless it is an emergency) or when someone is speaking to them. 4. No unkind comments Show them how it’s impolite to comment on other people’s characteristics or physical appearances, unless if it is a compliment. 5. Always ask for permission Teach your child to always ask permission. It’s important that they understand if they aren’t sure about taking or using something, it is always better to ask first. 6. Shoes off! Teach your child to take their shoes off whenever they enter someone's home/ 7. Don't litter Teach them not to litter and how important it is to keep our earth clean. Once your child learns these important manners, they’ll have the drive to become even more courteous as they grow up. Written by Morgan Cutolo. This article first appeared in <a href="http://www.readersdigest.com.au/true-stories-lifestyle/17-forgotten-manners-every-parent-should-teach-their-child">Reader’s Digest</a>. For more of what you love from the world’s best-loved magazine, <a href="http://readersdigest.innovations.com.au/c/readersdigestemailsubscribe?utm_source=over60&utm_medium=articles&utm_campaign=RDSUB&keycode=WRA87V">here’s our best subscription offer</a>. <img style="width: 100px !important; height: 100px !important;" src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/7820640/1.png" alt="" data-udi="umb://media/f30947086c8e47b89cb076eb5bb9b3e2" />

Family & Pets

7 good manners that should never be forgotten

A lot has changed in the world in the past few decades. There have been various fads and cultural norms that have influenced the manners and etiquette rules that people use. Here are seven manners that should never go out of style. 1. Never speak with your mouth full Not only is it distracting when someone talks with their mouth full but it can also be off-putting. If you know you have something important to say during dinner conversation, pace your eating. 2. Never use your own spoon for the sugar Multiple people will be wanting to get sugar. It only takes a few seconds to get another spoon from the kitchen, if one is not present. 3. Hold the door for people behind you It’s never nice when you are walking behind someone and a door slams into you because they didn’t hold it open. Holding the door shows that you are friendly and thoughtful. 4. Remember people’s names In a society that is “connecting” with so many people online and offline, remembering someone’s names shows your value and respect for them. 5. Look people in the eye when talking to them When you look at technology instead of a person, you are essentially saying you don’t find what they are saying is interesting. 6. Welcome new neighbours If someone moves in near you, introduce yourself and bring a small welcoming gift. Your gesture will go a long way and is the perfect opportunity to form a new friendship. 7. Leave a place as you found it It is always appreciated when you value someone else’s property. What manners do you think are most important? Let us know in the comments below.

Retirement Life

Table manners 101: The dos and don’ts

In a particularly memorable Seinfeld storyline, George Costanza starts a new trend when he hears that Elaine’s boss, haughty Mr Pitt, eats Snickers bars with a knife and fork. When a co-worker queries George on his new habit, <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UxB-H6f3crY" target="_blank">George sneers</a>, “How do you eat it? With your hands?” By the end of the episode, people all over New York are eating cookies, doughnuts and even M&Ms with cutlery. And although the absurdity of the diner-goers is obvious to the show’s other characters and its audience, the plotline cuts to the heart of why we adopt certain table manners: they’re all about being part of a society and fitting in with those around us. “The rules of etiquette are about making other people in your company feel comfortable, never making them feel like they don’t know or have done something awkward,” says Zarife Hardy, director of the <a href="https://asoe.com.au/" target="_blank">Australian School of Etiquette</a>. Hardy says that many of the table manners our society encourages – such as sit up straight and don’t talk while chewing – aren’t unnecessarily fussy; they actually concern fellow diners’ comfort. Though eating is necessary for survival, it is also a popular social activity. While these days we have a more relaxed approach to dining <a href="http://www.abc.net.au/news/2017-06-11/are-table-manners-a-thing-of-the-past/8604762" target="_blank">than in decades and centuries past</a>, Hardy says that communal meals still play a huge role in terms of social interaction, and that’s why learning how to eat nicely alongside others is a necessity. “When we sit down for a meal, that’s when we come together, have conversations. And that skill of conversation and talking to people is what sets us up for life.” But as life at home gets busier and more casual, Hardy says sit-down dinners are increasingly rare and table manners are declining. For those who need a refresher course on the dos and don’ts of breaking bread together, here’s a run-through of the top rules and why you should observe them. When to eat We’ve all been here. Your food has been placed in front of you but others are still being served. The temptation to have a taste is overwhelming, but one to resist. “You do not touch your cutlery or your plate until everybody is served,” says Hardy. Why? It’s just not polite. Even if family dinners are a bit more relaxed, it’s respectful to wait until the person who prepared the meal can enjoy the fruits of their labour as well. Casual settings, such as barbecues, can be an exception. If you’re a guest at someone’s house and your host tells you to start your meal, feel free to go ahead. Back to basics What would makeover montages in movies look like without tutorials in dining etiquette? Think Julia Roberts being <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DbAE8dE_3l4" target="_blank">instructed in correct fork usage</a> in Pretty Woman, or Anne Hathaway <a href="https://uncommon-courtesy.com/2015/03/04/julie-andrews-is-an-etiquette-icon-in-the-princess-diaries/" target="_blank">tied to a chair with a Hermes scarf</a> to encourage perfect posture in The Princess Diaries. There’s a reason these skills are so often emphasised; according to Hardy, they’re at the core of table manners. “The basic rules always apply: sit up straight, use your cutlery properly, small mouthfuls, and don’t make a lot of noise as you’re eating,” she says. Good posture is important because it shows you’re engaged with your company. While using numerous forks for a single meal doesn’t have much relevance for the average diner at home, Hardy says it’s still important to know how to hold cutlery, and how to place it when finished eating (knife and fork side by side in the middle of the plate). Wildly gesticulating with it is best avoided. Elbows down Remember being told as a child to keep your elbows off the table? It turns out that rule isn’t just about appearances, but giving others ample room. “You can go back to table etiquette from hundreds of years ago, and it was just one of those rules that allows everyone to feel that they have space,” Hardy says. “When you put elbows on the table, you’re extending the space setting that you’ve got.” Don’t mention the war Conversation can make or break a meal, such as when Basil Fawlty infamously <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yfl6Lu3xQW0" target="_blank">ruined dinner for some German guests</a> by bringing up World War II. Hardy says it’s a good idea to avoid controversial topics, particularly if you don’t know your companions well. “If it’s a first meet and greet or get together, you always stay clear of things like politics, religion, all those types of things that can stir up passion and anger or extreme opinions.” Technology Having the TV on or off during dinner used to be a matter of some debate, but smartphones and tablets have taken the issue of technology at the table up a level. Hardy says phones are a big barrier to socialising with family and friends, and shouldn’t be allowed at mealtimes. Put them away, preferably in another room so notification alerts won’t be a distraction. Say thank you This should really go without saying, but remember to thank whoever has prepared your meal, even if it wasn’t to your taste. Follow suit Obviously table etiquette varies between cultures and homes, so Hardy advises that when in doubt, follow your host’s lead. You might prefer to eat pizza or a burger with your hands, but if everyone else is using utensils, just follow suit. And who knows, you might even end up eating a Snickers bar with a knife and fork. Written by Erin Munro. First appeared on <a href="http://www.domain.com.au" target="_blank">Domain.com.au</a>. To find your home essentials <a href="https://shop.oversixty.com.au/?utm_source=over60&utm_campaign=Over60Shop&utm_medium=in-article-link-o60shop&utm_content=over60-shop" target="_blank">head to the Over60 Shop for high-quality offerings</a>. <a href="https://shop.oversixty.com.au/collections/living?utm_source=Over60&utm_medium=in-article-banner-living&utm_campaign=Over60Shop&utm_content=over60-shop" target="_blank"><img src="http://media.oversixty.com.au/images/EditorialAddon/201706_Shopnow_EditorialAddon_468x60_Living.jpg" alt="Over60 Shop - Living Range"/></a>

Home & Garden

How to make sure you’re retirement ready

<img width="120" height="150" src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/28533/bruce-manners-2016_120x150.jpg" alt="Bruce -Manners -2016" style="float: left;"/>Bruce Manners retired at the end of 2014, and is using his extra time to pursue interesting in writing, speaking and research assisted by the PhD (Sociology) he earned along the way. Bruce’s new book <a href="http://www.retirenotes.com" target="_blank">Retirement Ready?</a> is in stores now. We sat down to talk to Bruce about the things Aussie seniors can do to ensure they enjoy a comfortable retirement. What are the main challenges facing senior Australians looking to retire? There are three main challenges: The first is working out a retirement plan. What do you want to do in retirement? Retirement is like gifting yourself time—35 to 60 or even 80 extra hours a week. What will you do with it? It’s like making a personal inventory of: your passions; what you like to do (including hobbies); and what you want to achieve. Then, if a couple, how does your partner fit into this? You could start by trying to work out what you expect a typical week would look like. Second: There’s recent research that shows that individuals in their 50s are sacrificing wellbeing for financial gain. This is a time when you will likely be at your highest earning capacity and the temptation is to focus on that both for the present and for retirement. Unfortunately, it usually takes away from being able to live a balanced life, and that could impact on health or wellbeing later. Third: Realise that retirement is not all about money. If you had to choose between health and money, the choice is obvious. Money can get you a comfortable bed in an up-market nursing home. Good health opens up a whole lot more options. Many seniors might not know where to look for help when it comes to money advice? Can you direct them to a couple of sources? Unless you’re an expert in the field, finding a good professional (a financial planner/adviser, for instance) is important. The super-taxation-pension system is incredibly complex and you need to be able to know how to take best advantage of what you have. You could begin with your bank or super fund. They will be able to direct you to their own financial advisers. The first consultation will probably be free. Remember, if you don’t have confidence in the financial planner you meet with, trust your gut and find someone else. And, if you don’t like something they are suggesting, it’s your money, not theirs—that puts you in charge. Or you can receive independent advice. The Financial Planning Association website could be a good place to start. This post about <a href="http://www.retirenotes.com/five-things-i-learned-from-a-financial-advisor-about-retirement/" target="_blank">five things I learned from a financial adviser</a> may prove helpful. Are there any tips or tricks seniors already in retirement can utilise to get the most out of their nest egg? It always helps to have a large nest egg. But even then, would we ever think we had enough? Two common sense tips come to mind: The first is related to the previous question. Make sure you find a good financial planner who can assist you in getting the most out of your finances. The second is to make sure you live within your means. It’s an old concept, but budgeting will help so you don’t eat away at your nest egg too quickly. For financial planning, it’s unfortunate that you don’t know when you’re going to die. For living life it’s fortunate that you don’t. The bottom line is this: Because you don’t know how long you’ll need your nest egg, you need to be conservative in your use of funds. What are the ways improving your finances can improve your quality of life in retirement? Money allows you to experience more, do more and have more. It can take you from three-star living to five-star living, and who wouldn’t like that? But it’s important to remember that real quality of life has more to do with how you live your life than how much money you have. The widowed pensioner who loves working in her garden and sharing the produce with her neighbours can have a better quality of life than the multi-millionaire in his mansion. Social researcher Hugh Mackay in The Good Life makes this point: “The crucial test of a life well lived is the quality of our responses to the needs of others. Everything else is peripheral and mostly trivial. It is in loving we are made whole.” You can find Bruce’s new book Retirement Ready? <a href="http://www.retirenotes.com" target="_blank">here</a>. Related links: <a href="/finance/retirement-income/2016/08/age-pension-asset-test-changes-2017/">Major changes for age pension in 2017</a> <a href="http://www.oversixty.com.au/finance/retirement-income/2016/09/how-aussies-compare-to-retirees-from-other-countries/">How Aussies compare to retirees from other countries</a> <a href="http://www.oversixty.com.au/finance/retirement-income/2016/09/not-too-late-to-reclaim-lost-super/">It’s not too late to reclaim your lost super</a>

Retirement Income

Prince George showcases his gorgeous manners at a café

Prince George is certainly becoming a very polite young man, showing off his sweet manners as he ordered cake at a café near the family home. “Kate said to George, ‘Ask the nice lady what you would like to have,’” a patron at the Fakenham Garden Center café told <a href="http://www.people.com/people/package/article/0,,20395222_21021003,00.html" target="_blank">People</a>. “George said, ‘Excuse me nice lady, but can I have…’ and pointed to a cake on the counter.” The young royal, who just celebrated his <a href="/news/news/2016/07/royal-family-photos-prince-george-3rd-birthday/" target="_blank">third birthday</a>, then sat down with his mother for a spot of afternoon tea – or juice, in little George’s case! It’s nice to see the sweet Prince growing into such a well-behaved and kind young man, don’t you think? Related links: <a href="/news/news/2016/07/prince-william-says-prince-george-is-spoilt/">Prince William says Prince George is spoilt</a> <a href="/news/news/2016/07/find-prince-george-among-the-prince-williams/">Prince William and Prince George puzzle</a> <a href="/news/news/2016/07/royal-family-photos-prince-george-3rd-birthday/">Royal family release new photos for Prince George's 3rd birthday</a>

News

Is it just me or are good manners hard to find?

Rowan Rafferty and Jan Wild are a couple of baby boomers who describe themselves as rewired rather than retired; determined to grab this time of life with both hands. They blog at <a href="http://www.retirement-planning.info/" target="_blank">Retiring Not Shy</a> to inspire and encourage you to live your best possible retirement. <img width="219" height="170" src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/22600/jan-and-rowan-retiring-not-shy_219x170.jpg" alt="Jan And Rowan Retiring Not Shy" style="float: left;"/> I’m annoyed… and I don’t mind saying it. Why you might ask? Well, I seem to witness a lack of manners and courtesy on a regular basis. Maybe it’s because I have been bingeing on Downton Abbey where manners are considered essential, maybe it’s because last year we spent five weeks in France where the population is predominantly polite and quite formal. Or maybe it’s because I’m getting old and grumpy. I’m not sure, but grumpy I sure as hell am. I don’t expect anyone to attend Swiss Finishing School but I do expect common courtesy to be well, common. However, it’s seemingly increasingly rare, and its absence is not confined to any particular group. Sometimes you see acts of unexpected courtesy, extended gratuitously, which warm the heart… and other times… Recently we had someone coming around, following a big and quite expensive favour we had done them. A mutually convenient time was arranged and, as is usual in our household, we prepared to make them a coffee, procured biscuits and left our work spaces to await their arrival. After 20 minutes we began to wonder if something awful had happened – otherwise surely they would have called? But no, they arrived half an hour late, with no apology and when offered coffee said “oh no we just had one”… while we were waiting for them. Fair to say it wasn’t only our coffee that was steaming. I don’t know whether it is because people think that we are retired and have plenty of time on our hands, but even if that was the case (it’s not, we both work in our businesses) it is rude and inconsiderate. Even if we were only waiting for them to arrive and then leave so we could go to the beach, it is still our time and it is valuable. <img width="524" height="295" src="http://retirement-planning.info/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/Manners-800x450.jpg" alt="image" class="img-responsive" style="display: block; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"/> I also see a lack of manners in many small ways; people starting to eat at a private dinner whilst those serving the food are still in the kitchen. Whatever happened to waiting until everyone was seated? Is that too much to ask or have they not eaten for a week and will expire if they have to wait. And don’t even start me on talking with your mouth full; I know, I know that person has something so life-changing to say and you need to hear it NOW. We love our mobile phones but taking a mobile phone call when you have been invited to dinner? Why even take your mobile unless you are in the middle of a family emergency? It can wait! And it’s not just me that is being affected. Note the recent brave act by some cafe owners who have signs up basically saying “if you are on a mobile phone, we won’t take your order”. What makes someone think that other customers should wait while they finish a conversation? I recently attended a half day photography course and not surprisingly we were asked at the beginning to turn off our mobile phones. Nothing rude about that. The amazing thing was what the course leader then told us. It seemed that in the past the request to turn off mobiles had not been made. He recounted two incidents: <ul> <li>A class attendee was (without permission) videoing the course content and told the course leader he should stop moving around so much as it was making it difficult to get the footage.</li> <li>A woman answered her phone when it rang, sat in the class room, continued her conversation and then asked the course leader to keep his voice down as she was trying to have a conversation.</li> </ul> I also recall a friend telling us that she had invited some of her friends around for a meal and when the friend arrived she was accompanied by two sons. That was fine because it was an informal meal; what was not fine was that the two young men were shirtless. Sorry, not acceptable, even at a BBQ. You notice I haven’t even begun to describe the behaviour of some on our roads. I think there is another whole post in that (but fear not, I won’t bore you on that score). So what do you think, am I just intolerant? Are we becoming a rude and inconsiderate society? What displays of poor or very good manners have you witnessed lately? This article first appeared on <a href="http://www.retirement-planning.info/" target="_blank">Retiring Not Shy</a>. Follow Rowan and Jan on <a href="https://www.facebook.com/retiringnotshy/" target="_blank">Facebook here.</a> If you have a story or opinion to share, please get in touch at <a href="mailto:melody@oversixty.com.au">melody@oversixty.com.au</a> Related links: <a href="/lifestyle/family-pets/2015/10/old-school-skills-that-are-dying/">6 old-schools skills that are dying</a> <a href="/lifestyle/relationships/2016/06/steps-to-make-friends-after-60/">3 steps to make friends after 60</a> <a href="/lifestyle/family-pets/2015/07/kids-today-will-never-do/">10 things kids of today will never do</a>

Relationships

Table manners and dining customs from around the world

Etiquette rules around the world can be interesting, confusing and amazing. In this useful infographic from Langfords we take a look at some quirky manners from around the world, and why it is considered rude if you don’t follow them. Quite a useful piece if you’re headed overseas, and at the very least an entertaining read. <img width="500" height="11490" src="http://www.langfords.com/table-etiquette/img/infographic.jpg"/> First appeared on <a href="http://www.Stuff.co.nz" target="_blank">Stuff.co.nz</a>. Related links: <a href="/news/news/2016/01/never-carry-your-phone-in-your-pocket/">You should never carry your phone in your pocket</a> <a href="/news/news/2016/01/bear-cub-performing-tai-chi/">Cute bear cub masters the art of tai chi</a> <a href="/news/news/2016/01/things-you-didnt-know-your-dishwasher-could-do/">5 things you didn’t know your dishwasher could do</a>

News

5 things that were once considered bad manners but are now commonplace

With incredible technological advances, medical breakthroughs and scientific innovation, the world in many ways has become a much better place. But has it come at a cost? It seems the pay-off is a ruder and much more inconsiderate society. These are just five bad behaviours that were considered the height of rudeness in the past which are now so common that they are even considered acceptable.Cancelling last minuteThe non-confrontational ease of cancelling with a simple text message or an email has given some people the assumption that it’s ok to cancel or turn up late to a meeting, a coffee date or a dinner party.Paying more attention to your phone than the person in front of youBack in the day when you had a conversation with a person, you looked at them, listened thoughtfully while they were speaking and then replied, expecting the same sort of consideration back. Not anymore. It seems normal, even expected that people will constantly be checking their phones through conversations.Contacting someone past 9pm  It was common knowledge that calling someone late at night was rude. You knew it would be bothersome and annoying to intrude on someone’s personal – or even family – time. But now with so many different forms of passive communication it is now acceptable to text and call (after all, you can leave a voicemail if they don’t pick up) to contact someone at all hours of the day. It’s now what’s convenient for the sender, not what’s the polite thing to do.Loud and private conversations in publicThe prolific use of mobile phones means that we can now talk on the go and for some people that means having loud conversations in public where no topic is off limits. People seem to forget they are in public places and with that it should come with a certain amount of mutual respect.Letting children misbehaveThis isn’t about the poor parent grocery shopping with three children when the youngest decides to throw the loudest tantrum because the parents won’t buy a treat. Children misbehave despite the best parenting efforts. It’s the parents who are too engaged in their own conversation to discipline children as they run amok, scream and yell, break things and disturb other patrons in public places.Related links:<a href="http://oversixty.com.au/lifestyle/family/2014/11/15-things-kids-of-today-are-missing-out-on/" target="_blank">15 things kids of today are missing out on</a><a href="http://oversixty.com.au/lifestyle/dating/2015/02/dating-in-the-past/" target="_blank">In pictures: dating in days gone by</a><a href="http://oversixty.com.au/lifestyle/family/2014/09/why-family-traditions-are-so-important/" target="_blank">Why family traditions are SO important</a>

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How to leave a financial legacy in a tax-effective manner