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“So elated”: Kathleen Folbigg’s reunion with lifelong friend following pardon

<p dir="ltr">After spending 20 years behind bars Kathleen Folbigg is starting a new chapter as a <a href="https://www.oversixty.com.au/news/news/kathleen-folbigg-pardoned-after-20-years-behind-bars" target="_blank" rel="noopener">free woman</a>, and the first person who welcomed her back was her lifelong friend, Tracy Chapman.</p> <p dir="ltr">Folbigg, 55, who was convicted of killing her three children Patrick, Sarah and Laura and the manslaughter of her firstborn Caleb between 1989 to 1999, was <a href="https://www.oversixty.com.au/news/news/kathleen-folbigg-pardoned-after-20-years-behind-bars" target="_blank" rel="noopener">pardoned</a> on Monday and released immediately.</p> <p dir="ltr">Just hours after she walked out a free woman, Folbigg was reunited with her lifelong friend in a warm embrace on Chapman’s farm in northern NSW.</p> <p dir="ltr">"I am so elated it's not funny. I am nervous and I am everything," Folbigg told <em>9News</em>.</p> <p dir="ltr">With her newfound freedom, Folbigg couldn’t say what would come next.</p> <p dir="ltr">"I don't know. I need a drink of water. I don't know about anything else," she said.</p> <p dir="ltr">Chapman, who was an advocate for Folbigg since her conviction 20 years ago, created a “sanctuary” on the farm in case her best friend was pardoned, so she could have somewhere "peaceful, quiet,” to return to where “she's surrounded by animals".</p> <p dir="ltr">Folbigg has always maintained her innocence, and said that her children all died of natural causes.</p> <p dir="ltr">Former NSW Chief Justice Tom Bathurst KC, has submitted the new scientific evidence in an inquiry into the death of her babies, and is currently writing up a final report, which could be finished this month.</p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Images: Nine News</em></p>

Legal

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Three lifelong friends collectively self-isolate together

<div class="body_text "> <p>A trio of lifelong friends in the UK have decided to ride out the coronavirus pandemic in isolation together.</p> <p>Doreen Burns, Carol Spark and Dotty Robinson were interviewed on<span> </span>BBC Breakfast<span> </span>on Thursday to share details of their situation.</p> <p>Burns explained to BBC host Jayne McCubbin in a video chat that they had already spent a week apart in their own homes just to be sure that each person is “fit and well” before deciding whose home to live in.</p> <div id="fb-root"></div> <div class="fb-video" data-href="https://www.facebook.com/bbcbreakfast/videos/538215660140428/"> <blockquote class="fb-xfbml-parse-ignore"><a href="https://www.facebook.com/bbcbreakfast/videos/538215660140428/">Coronavirus | Isolating with friends</a> <p>🥰🥰 Lifelong friends Doreen, Dotty and Carol have been through divorce and loss together. Now they're planning on getting through isolation together, literally ⤵️</p> Posted by <a href="https://www.facebook.com/bbcbreakfast/">BBC Breakfast</a> on Wednesday, March 18, 2020</blockquote> </div> <p>“We’re in Carol’s at the moment,” Burns says, gesturing to her friend in the middle. “Dotty’s got a lovely, long back garden, which would be great for exercising.”</p> <p>“Mine has as well,” Spark interjects, before clarifying that it’s more of a yard — a “yarden,” she says.</p> <p>The three amigos have admitted that they might need a little space from time to time.</p> <p>“I have got a front room, in case we get tetchy with each other,” says Burns. “That might be handy.”</p> <blockquote class="twitter-tweet"> <p dir="ltr">💕 "You must never underestimate the value of friendship"<br />Dotty, Carol and Doreen chose to isolate together. <a href="https://twitter.com/JayneMcCubbinTV?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">@JayneMcCubbinTV</a><br />has caught up with them (from a distance)... <a href="https://t.co/iGIvunudC3">pic.twitter.com/iGIvunudC3</a></p> — BBC Breakfast (@BBCBreakfast) <a href="https://twitter.com/BBCBreakfast/status/1241480201160101888?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">March 21, 2020</a></blockquote> <p>The pair were interviewed again after the video went viral, as so many people fell in love with them worldwide and called the trio “the real life Golden Girls”.</p> <p>“I said to Doreen on the phone, ‘if we all have to go into lockdown for 12 weeks, they’ll find me dead with all colouring books on the floor, with a notice on saying “I have died of loneliness’.</p> <p>After that phone call, the trio decided to self-quarantine together so that they won’t be apart and will be safe during isolation.</p> </div>

Relationships

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The day my son became a lifelong Bruce Springsteen fan

<p><strong><em>Tony Wilson is the author of more than a dozen books for both adults and children. His bestselling book The Cow Tripped Over the Moon is dedicated to his son Jack. </em></strong></p> <p>Our son Jack, aged five, is one of Australia’s biggest Bruce Springsteen fans. He has cerebral palsy, which affects all four limbs, and cortical vision impairment, which means he struggles to see further than a metre.</p> <p>He has inherited his Bruceness from me. I received a copy of <em>Born to Run</em> from my uncle when I was 11 – a dubbed tape containing my first taste of true rock ‘n’ roll, and it was love. My wife, Tamsin, is a respecter of Bruce, if not a devotee. She’s been to two live shows now. She thinks they are great, if a fraction long.</p> <p>But Jack’s obsession takes mine to a different level. He watches ‘Bwuce’ all day on YouTube. Jack is no ‘greatest hits’ fan. He requests specific gigs, tracks, guest artists (Bwian from The Gaslight Anthem with Bwuce!). He knows all of the E Street Band by name.</p> <p>We were so unsure whether to take him to see Springsteen when he played in Melbourne in February 2017. On the one hand, he is seriously obsessed. On the other hand, his lack of vision and his sensory processing issues mean he can’t cope with loud music. He’s made screaming exits from the school fete and dozens of other similar scenarios. He hates it if it’s raining too loud on the roof. So, we thought he’d have no chance of coping; my prediction was two minutes, max.</p> <p>All day he said he didn’t want to go. “Maybe I’ll see Bwuce later,” he said over and over. Then he’d cry, begging not to go. “I want to see Bwuce another time! Not today!” We tried to reassure him, “Just give it a try,” but he was insistent. I started to consider who else might go in his place.</p> <p>Tamsin was the one who convinced me to give Jack a shot. “Let’s just get him close to the stadium, and if he doesn’t get upset, we’ll just keep going. It’s his favourite thing in the world. We’ve got to try.”</p> <p><strong>The concert</strong></p> <p>We set up plans for our inevitable failure. My brother Ned offered to wait outside AAMI Park in Melbourne. The plan was that if Jack was upset, I’d run him out, and Ned would take him home.</p> <p>Jack flinched at the first blast of noise as we exited the train. I felt a flutter of concern. But Jack regrouped.</p> <p>“Is that Bwuce?”</p> <p>“No, that’s Jet,” I said.</p> <p>“Is there clapping at Jet?”</p> <p>“Yes, there will be clapping at Jet.”</p> <p>“Will Bwuce be on soon?”</p> <p>“Yes, after Jet.”</p> <p>“And Steven Van Zandt?”</p> <p>“Yes, he’ll be on guitar.”</p> <p>“And Patti?”</p> <p>“Yes, she’ll be there, too.”</p> <p>“Bwuce’s wife, Patti?”</p> <p>“Yes, she’s Bruce’s wife.”</p> <p>“And Nils?”</p> <p>And so, we name-checked the whole E Street Band as we crossed the railway yards, on the one-kilometre walk from Jolimont Station to AAMI Park.</p> <p>It got louder and louder, but he seemed to be coping. Then a nervous moment. Security told me I couldn’t take in a backpack. It wasn’t a standard backpack. It was a child carrier of the type you buy at camping shops. Usually, they are used with toddlers, but because Jack is slim hipped, and still unable to walk, we use it in situations where a pusher or wheelchair don’t work. With the noise of the concert, we guessed Jack would appreciate being close.</p> <p>I explained Jack’s cerebral palsy. “Without this I reckon he hasn’t got a chance,” I said.</p> <p>“Fair enough,” said the most sensible security officer on earth, then he ushered us in.</p> <p>We found our way to the back of the stadium, using lifts and ramps that took us halfway around the venue. We found our spots. Plenty of room. Not too loud at all. The calm before the storm. Springsteen was still 40 minutes away.</p> <p>“Will Bwuce play ‘American Land’?” Jack asked, which is Bruce’s thumping Pogues-ish ode to American immigration. Jack’s favourite.</p> <p>“Maybe,” I said.</p> <p>“Will he play ‘Badlands’?”</p> <p>“Definitely.”</p> <p>Then it started. The “MELBOOOURNE”, the clapping, the drums, the music. ‘American Land’ it was.</p> <p>Jack shrieked as he does for the YouTube songs. He called Bruce’s name. He called Steven Van Zandt’s name. He jiggled, he rocked, he had a ball.</p> <p>For 12 songs. One hour and 10 minutes.</p> <p>Then he broke. ‘Youngstown’ broke him, and he asked to go home. We tried to stay on another couple of songs, hoping a favourite track might revive his exaltation, but it wasn’t to be. I messaged Ned, still patiently waiting for us outside the stadium. “Outside in 10?” Then we did a handover on Swan Street. Jack, with the noise behind him, was euphoric again. I returned to the show. Jack earbashed Ned all the way home about what he’d experienced. Then he told it all again to Tamsin.</p> <p>His first words to me when he woke up the next day were: “I’m a Bwuce Springsteen fan. I’m a Bwuce Springsteen goer.”</p> <p><em>Written by Tony Wilson. This article first appeared in <span><a href="http://www.readersdigest.com.au/true-stories-lifestyle/entertainment/day-my-son-became-lifelong-bruce-springsteen-fan?items_per_page=All">Reader’s Digest</a></span>. For more of what you love from the world’s best-loved magazine, <span><a href="http://readersdigest.innovations.com.au/c/readersdigestsubscribe?utm_source=readersdigest&amp;utm_campaign=RDSUB&amp;utm_medium=display&amp;keycode=WRA85S">here’s our best subscription offer</a></span>.</em></p> <p><img style="width: 100px !important; height: 100px !important;" src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/7820640/1.png" alt="" data-udi="umb://media/f30947086c8e47b89cb076eb5bb9b3e2" /></p>

Music

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Why lifelong renters face financial stress in retirement

<p>If you do not own a home by the time you are in your late 40s, you will probably never own one — and you will probably be significantly poorer than those who do.</p> <p>That is according to a paper released on Monday by Swinburne University, which found more Australians are renting in retirement and facing financial stress.</p> <p>The study’s authors have called for the axing of the capital gains tax concession and the reinstatement of death duties, or a small inheritance tax, to reduce what they see as the widening wealth gap between homeowners and non-homeowners.</p> <p>“Housing is a probably the key way of generating wealth, but people who are unable to purchase or fall out of home ownership will find that they don’t have as much wealth in retirement,” research author Andrea Sharam said.</p> <p>The paper showed if you had not purchased property by mid life (45-49 years old), there was a strong likelihood you would not purchase thereafter.</p> <p>Financial experts have previously advised “generation rent” — the growing cohort of young people priced out of the property market — would find it <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="http://www.domain.com.au/news/generation-rent-never-buying-a-property-will-mean-saving-more-for-retirement-20160519-goxnsg/" target="_blank">difficult to retire as wealthy</a></strong></span> as a property owner, largely because Australia’s retirement income system is predicated on owning a home outright in retirement.</p> <p>But the study, from Swinburne’s Institute for Social Research, shows an increasing number of older renters are already experiencing housing insecurity and impoverishment.</p> <p>There are close to 426,000 Australians over the age of 50 years living alone or with a partner in private rentals, but population projections suggest there would be 832,319 by 2050.</p> <p>“That will put a lot of pressure on the pension system and even more pressure on the rental market, which does not cater to older people on low incomes as it is,” said National Shelter executive officer Adrian Pisarski said.</p> <p>For Leigh Evans, 41, purchasing a property has never been an option. She is currently house sitting in Coburg, in Melbourne’s north, but sees her housing future as insecure.</p> <p>“I grew up poor, both my parents never owned a home when I was younger … so I never had that expectation,” the business analyst and author said.</p> <p>Ms Evans said the research made her retirement situation appear bleak.</p> <p>“I look forward to dying early,” she laughed. “It’s gallows humour but the situation is real — it’s homelessness.</p> <p>“I think that it’s well beyond time that Australia stopped keeping alive this delusion that the quarter acre block dream still exists for many people.”</p> <p>The study also showed that in the older age brackets, 65 to 69 year olds, the wealthiest segments were those who owned both their own home and other properties. Yet the net wealth of such owners slipped between 2003 and 2013, likely because they had taken on more debt relating to the leveraging of those other properties, Ms Sharam said.</p> <p>Several policy recommendations have come out of the analysis, including increased investment in social housing, as well as tax policies that discouraged people buying property for capital gains.</p> <p>“Because that’s just creating house price inflation, which makes it hard for people to enter into home ownership in the first place,” Ms Sharam said. “These people have been given a lot of public money in effect [from tax breaks], so its entirety reasonable that they could give some of it back at the point in time where it does not hurt them and their heris, and it goes into social housing.”</p> <p>But the Victorian Property Council executive director Sally Capp said removing the capital gains concession would be counterproductive and would result in less investment in residential property construction.</p> <p>While the council had no formal position on reintroducing death duties, Ms Capp said, the Victorian government did not need to introduce new taxes to fund its affordable housing ambitions.</p> <p>What are your thoughts?</p> <p><em>Written by Kirsten Robb. Republished with permission of <a href="http://www.domain.com.au" target="_blank"><strong><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Domain.com.au</span></strong></a>. </em></p>

Retirement Income

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5 secrets of people with lifelong friends

<p>There’s something lifelong friends. They’re the ones who’ve known you for a large portion of your life. Who you’ve shared a childhood and/or adolescence with and with who you’ve experienced some of the most foundational life experiences.  Lifelong friends not only know the person you are today, but the person you were 5/10/15/25 years ago. All that shared history forms a deep and long lasting bond which is often cemented for years to come. These long term friendships aren’t always easy to come by however; the average adult has just two trusted confidantes. Here are some of the secrets to keeping your friends for life.</p> <p><strong>1. They keep their expectations in check</strong></p> <p>No single friend can be all thing to all stages in your life. As your life changes, your friendships will as well. That doesn’t mean however that they have to be lost. Your childhood friend may not be the person you turn to for parenting advice but they may be the person who you can share your deepest secrets and biggest fears with.</p> <p><strong>2. They’re adaptable</strong></p> <p>People and lives change. If a friendship is to go the distance, it needs to be flexible and adaptable. Celebrate the here and now while also valuing the fact that you can share the past together.</p> <p><strong>3. They make time for each other</strong></p> <p>In our increasingly busy lives, spending time with old friends is an activity that’s easy to let slip. To maintain a relationship however you need to invest both effort and time in your friendship. Shared experiences boost bonding and life experience in general helps boost happiness so get amongst it with your friends.</p> <p><strong>4. Appreciate your bond</strong></p> <p>Lifelong friendships are rare and precious. Appreciating what it is that you have with your friend and valuing it as an important part of your life is crucial.</p> <p><strong>5. Know when it’s time to say goodbye</strong></p> <p>Sometimes a friendship may run its course and the best and wisest option is to let it fade. This doesn’t mean that you can’t reminisce fondly about times past, it may just mean that as your lives have progressed, you’ve gone in different directions.</p> <p>How many lifelong friends do you have? How/when did you meet? Let us know in the comments below.</p> <p><em><strong>Looking for love – or perhaps you just want to meet some new people? <a href="https://ad.doubleclick.net/ddm/clk/301420739;128433504;u" target="_blank"><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Why not sign up at RSVP today by clicking here… You never know who is just around the corner.</span></a></strong></em></p> <p><strong>Related links:</strong></p> <p><a href="/lifestyle/relationships/2016/07/how-to-make-friends-in-a-new-place/"><strong><em><span style="text-decoration: underline;">How to make friends in a new place</span></em></strong></a></p> <p><a href="/lifestyle/relationships/2016/07/tips-to-feel-connected-to-others/"><strong><em><span style="text-decoration: underline;">9 tips to help you feel connected to others</span></em></strong></a></p> <p><a href="/lifestyle/relationships/2016/07/friends-the-key-to-long-and-healthy-life/"><strong><em><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Friends are the key to a long and healthy life</span></em></strong></a></p>

Relationships

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My teenage pen pal became my lifelong friend

<p><em><strong>Anne Adams, 68, shares the beautiful story of how her teenage pen pal, Monika, from Germany, became a dear, life-long friend.</strong></em></p> <p>Back in 1960 when I was 14 and living in England, my parents had a friend, Otto, who was a German schoolteacher in Kassel. In one of Otto’s classes, a little girl named Claudia had a sister, called Monika, who was keen to write to an English girl. And so Monika and I began writing.</p> <p>We first met in 1962 when Monika (nickname Monni) and her father, Heinz, came to stay with my family for a holiday. When Monika and I first met, we hit it off straight away and from there, our whole family became friends and holidays were spent together. Monika's sister, Claudia also became a wonderful friend and we too are very close today. Their parents became lifelong friends of my parents, visiting each other whenever they could. Monika’s father, Heinz, always called my mum his “Darling Second”.</p> <p>Throughout our teenage years in the 60s, Monika and I both enjoyed the same music and loved dancing. One year, her mother, an excellent dressmaker, made us identical pink broderie anglaise dresses to go to a dance. German was my favourite subject at school, and Monika loved English so our friendship helped us no end.</p> <p>As the years went by, we both married, still keeping in touch, and of course our husbands became friends, too. Sadly my first husband, a policeman, was killed on duty in 1977, when my youngest was only three. The friendship continued and I remarried. My new husband, Robert, was in the British army and we spent time in Germany with British Army of the Rhine (BAOR). I remember one special snowy Christmas we all went to the Christmas markets together in Kassel and warmed ourselves with Glühwein.</p> <p>In 1982, after Robert had left the army, we came to live in Western Australia. My parents followed us and lived here happily until they passed away, both in their 90s. Even after I moved here to Australia, Monika and her husband Hannes, and Claudia and her husband Lothar, would travel the long distance to visit us. They always called my parents "Mummy and Daddy", looking on them as their second parents. They really loved them.</p> <p>Two years ago, in 2014, we spent time together in Germany, Rome and Mauritius. It was extra special as we were able to be together with Monika, Claudia and their husbands, children, and Monika’s little grandson, Niklas, in Kassel. Meeting each other’s children and grandchildren for the first time is always so special, and it’s like having an extended family. Monika and Hannes and Robert and I then spent time in Rome and Mauritius together before we parted for our respective homes. There are always tearful goodbyes.</p> <p>I must admit I no longer have any letters, which makes me sad, but in my life I have moved house so many times – 23 times in fact since 1965! So you can understand how things have gone astray! Monika and I now keep in touch via phone, WhatsApp, Messenger, Skype and Facebook. This helps us feel much closer together even though we’re separated by so many miles. On Skype we can really have a good chat – Monika's English is excellent, and I speak fairly good 'everyday' German.</p> <p>It’s now been more than five decades of friendship and despite the long distance, we have managed to maintain a loving and caring relationship for so long, enjoying our precious times together to the full. Of course, it wasn't easy when we had our own families to find the money or the time to travel to see each other, but we managed because our friendship is very important to us both, feeling more like sisters than friends.</p> <p>This September we are flying to Germany to surprise Monika for her 70th birthday. Her husband knows we'll be there but is keeping it a secret.</p> <p>I am so lucky to have two beautiful friends like Monika and Claudia and, despite the tyranny of distance, our friendship has flourished for the last 55 years.</p> <p><em><strong>If you have a story to share please get in touch with <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><a href="mailto:melody@oversixty.com.au" target="_parent">melody@oversixty.com.au</a></span></strong></em></p> <p><strong>Related links:</strong></p> <p><a href="/lifestyle/relationships/2016/06/steps-to-make-friends-after-60/"><em><strong><span style="text-decoration: underline;">3 steps to make friends after 60</span></strong></em></a></p> <p><a href="/lifestyle/relationships/2016/05/female-friendships-the-key-to-making-life-changing-decisions/"><strong><em><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Female friendships the key to making life-changing decisions</span></em></strong></a></p> <p><a href="/lifestyle/relationships/2016/03/how-to-maintain-long-distance-friendship/"><em><strong><span style="text-decoration: underline;">5 tips to maintain a long-distance friendship</span></strong></em></a></p>

Relationships

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3 lifelong friends celebrate 100th birthdays together

<p>It’s not every day someone reaches a milestone 100th birthday, even more astonishing is three childhood friend reaching triple digits together.</p> <p>On Saturday, three women, from Washington, DC, celebrated their 100th birthdays at Zion Baptist Church – the church the three of them have attended since kids.</p> <p>Ruth Chatman Hammett, Gladys Ware Butler and Bernice Grimes Underwood – born in June or July of 1916 – were elated to share the joyous occasion together, but had hoped a fourth friend, Leona Barnes, would be able to take part. She sadly passed away in May, two months before her 100th birthday. The friends paid tribute to Barnes, with a large portrait of her at the celebrations.</p> <p>“This was so exciting and joyful," Bernice Grimes Underwood told <a href="https://www.washingtonpost.com/local/three-friends-celebrate-their-100th-birthdays-together-while-remembering-a-fourth/2016/06/18/13921364-3584-11e6-8758-d58e76e11b12_story.html" target="_blank"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong>The Washington Post</strong></span></a> at the celebration of 200 people.</p> <p>"I never thought I would get to this age," said Gladys Ware Butler.</p> <p>Barnes, Butler, Underwood and Hammett met as children, remaining close friends throughout adulthood. Three of them even had babies in the same year! The friendship helped them as they mourned thier loved ones, each having to bury their husbands and elderly children.</p> <p>During the birthday celebrations, a video was shown of each women reflecting on their lives, and offering wisdom to the younger generations.</p> <p>"Don't talk back," Hammett advised.</p> <p>"Respect," Barnes simply said.</p> <p>"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you," Underwood said.</p> <p>The friends still speak to each other on the phone daily, and meet up when they attend church on Sundays.</p> <p><strong>Related links: </strong></p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="/lifestyle/retirement-life/2016/05/free-online-resources-for-education/"><em>Free online resources to keep your mind active over 60</em></a></strong></span></p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="/lifestyle/retirement-life/2016/05/are-you-having-a-late-life-crisis/"><em>Are you having a “late-life” crisis?</em></a></strong></span></p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="/lifestyle/retirement-life/2016/04/spending-time-with-grandkids-keeps-you-young-at-heart/"><em>Spending time with grandkids keeps you young at heart</em></a></strong></span></p>

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