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How can you heal a family fracture?

<p>While family disagreements are normal from time to time, it can be difficult on all family members when there is ongoing conflict among one or two individuals. It can lead to feelings of hurt, stress and serious anxiety if problems are not addressed in a peaceful way.</p> <p>This expert advice from relationship counsellors can help you deal with a painful family rift.</p> <p>According to the government’s <a href="http://www.familyrelationships.gov.au/">Family Relationships Online</a> some of the most common triggers to family conflict include separation or divorce, a house move, travelling long distances or commuting interstate for work and financial insecurity. However, even seemingly joyous family events such as birthdays, holidays, weddings and the birth of children can create unforeseen stress or conflict.</p> <p>According to experts, you don’t have to accept family conflict as the norm. Effective communication from both parties and coping strategies can help turn your family gatherings into a more positive situation for all.</p> <p><strong>Communication is key</strong><br />“Communication is always the best method to remedy a situation. This means providing a safe environment for both people to converse and exchange feelings and thoughts,” says counselling psychotherapist <a href="http://www.drkarenphillip.com/">Dr Karen Phillip</a>. </p> <p>“It can be resolved even if both people may not completely agree. However, if they can agree to have different perspectives and beliefs this is a big step to acceptance and unity,” she adds.</p> <p>Dr Phillip says trying to walk in the other person’s shoes can often be the most challenging task during a family conflict situation.</p> <p>“We need to always remember that each person has a firm belief they are correct therefore it is not a matter of one admitting fault but both accepting their own differences and beliefs.”</p> <p><strong>Focus on the solution</strong> <br />Many individuals are unable to see through the problem, says Dr Phillip, when they should be focusing on the solution instead.</p> <p>“Before discussing the matter, have two solutions worked out and allow the other person to select the best one for them and the situation. As long as you are comfortable with either solution and they choose and own one of them, you are both on the same page and a resolution is easier and more permanent.”</p> <p><strong>Dealing with family events and parties</strong> <br />Family and relationship expert <a href="http://www.marinabakker.com/">Marina Bakker</a> says forcing people who do not want to be in the same room together, for example during family functions, can cause a great deal of hostility and animosity, which is often felt by everyone else in the same space. She says the key is to take control of only what is within our control.</p> <p>“We cannot change other people but we can change how we view the situation and respect people’s decisions if they decide not to attend family functions and so on,” she says.</p> <p>“If family members decide to attend the same function and they are prone to outburst or fights you can lay down a few boundaries prior to the event about what behaviours will or will not be accepted.”</p> <p><strong>Don’t assume all of the responsibility</strong><br />“Family rifts and ruptures do happen and it is important not to take on other people’s responsibilities for repairing their relationship rifts,” says Bakker.</p> <p>Instead, focus on strengthening family relationships by practising positive behaviours such as acceptance and understanding.</p> <p>“When we accept things as they are it provides us with the opportunity to focus on what we can influence in a way that is not controlling or meddling,” she advises.</p> <p><strong>Useful links and resources</strong></p> <ul> <li><a href="http://www.familyrelationships.gov.au/AboutYou/Pages/default.aspx">Family Relationships Online</a>  </li> <li><a href="http://www.familyrelationships.gov.au/Services/FRAL/Pages/default.aspx">Family Relationship Advice Line</a> (1800 050 321) </li> <li><a href="http://www.familyrelationships.gov.au/BrochuresandPublications/Documents/family-counselling.pdf">Family Counselling Factsheet</a> </li> </ul> <p><em>Written by Mahsa Fratantoni. Republished with permission of </em><a href="https://www.wyza.com.au/articles/lifestyle/relationships/how-can-you-heal-a-family-fracture.aspx"><em>Wyza.com.au.</em></a></p>

Caring

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When I broke my back I wanted to prove the doctors wrong

<p><em><strong>Maureen Prince, 79, was born in the UK and moved to Melbourne in 1966 with four young children. She is most grateful for her family.</strong></em></p> <p><img width="209" height="279" src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/26421/maureen-prince_209x279.jpg" alt="Maureen Prince (1)" style="float: left;"/>I know that they say that life has its ups and downs but recently I have wondered if the downs are outweighing the ups!</p> <p>Earlier this year, in my 79th year, I decided that I would endeavour to get fitter. As my son and daughter-in-law (who live close by) have become expert cyclists, I realised how fit they have become over the years, but most of all how they enjoy the experience and the accompanying fitness it gives them.</p> <p>I used to ride a bike many years earlier and thought that if I could still have sufficient balance and confidence, then I would endeavour to try and ride a bike. So, after practicing on a friend's bike I decided to go and buy my own and off I'd go.</p> <p>After only managing to ride about one kilometre each time at the beginning, I finally managed to get up to 10kms per ride. I was starting to feel fit and was thoroughly enjoy my time out in the fresh air and the sunshine.</p> <p>Then the inevitable happened... I was actually trying to get off my bike to press a pedestrian crossing button, when I overbalanced and landed on my back and suffered an L3 burst fracture in my back.</p> <p>After seven weeks of wearing a brace my fracture fused together and despite the fact that I no longer need to wear the brace, I am still in constant pain. My doctors have said that this will continue for a very long time and I should do physiotherapy regularly and do my best to try and get back to, as they put it, a degree of agility but, at my age, I should not expect too much.</p> <p>Well, if there is one thing that annoys me more than anything else in the world, it is when the medical profession tells me, “It can't be done”. I had overcome breast cancer in 2005 and the way I see it, this is only a “break” and, despite my age, I'm sure I can get back to where I was – unless it kills me of course!</p> <p>So the first thing I did was purchase an exercise bike as I knew I wouldn't have the strength to get back on my road bike for a while. Now, only three weeks later, I can walk 2kms, ride my exercise bike for around a total of 15 minutes per day, and I am only in pain if I sit down too long.</p> <p>I know it's going to take a while before I can ride my road bike again, but I have a target of the February 4, 2017, as it will be my 80th birthday. I'm sure I'll make it.</p> <p><em><strong>If you have a story to share please get in touch at <a href="mailto:melody@oversixty.com.au">melody@oversixty.com.au</a></strong></em></p> <p><strong>Related links:</strong></p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="/health/body/2016/08/cycling-could-save-you-from-alzheimers-disease/"><em>Cycling could save you from Alzheimer’s disease</em></a></strong></span></p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="/health/body/2016/07/how-to-reduce-your-cancer-risk/"><em>How to reduce your cancer risk</em></a></strong></span></p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="/health/body/2016/07/stay-motivated-to-exercise-during-winter/"><em>5 ways to stay motivated to exercise during winter</em></a></strong></span></p>

Body

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Find out your bone fracture risk with new online tool

<p style="text-align: center;"><span><img width="117" height="74" src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/22722/kyb_logo_v2_117x74.jpg" alt="KYB_Logo _V2 (2)"/></span></p> <p style="text-align: center;"><span>THIS IS AN ADVERTORIAL FEATURE</span></p> <p>An Australian-first bone health self-assessment tool designed to help consumers understand their bone fracture risk, is now available to all adults, including the 7.5 million Australians living with brittle bones.</p> <p>The “Know Your Bones” online tool – an inaugural Garvan Institute of Medical Research and Osteoporosis Australia joint initiative – helps adults assess their likelihood of fractures, including those diagnosed with osteopenia and osteoporosis – two common bone conditions that, together with fractures, will cost the nation more than $3 billion this year.</p> <p>The evidence-based, consumer-friendly tool summarises bone fracture risk by assessing age, gender, weight, history of fracture, bone mineral density, and history of falls and lifestyle factors within the past 12 months. Risk of fracture over five and 10 years respectively, is assessed for people aged 50 and above, and a general, actionable summary is provided for all users (18+), for further discussion with their GP.</p> <p>The launch of the innovative tool coincides with the release of Osteoporosis Australia fracture figures revealing more than 155,000 fractures will occur Australia-wide this year, with a bone broken every 3.4 minutes due to poor bone health. Furthermore, men will account for up to 30 per cent of all fractures related to osteopenia and osteoporosis, and their associated costs. In 2016, the total annual cost of fractures is estimated to be $2.15 billion.</p> <p>Two-thirds of Australians aged 50 and above, have poor bone health and many don’t know it, even when they have obvious risk factors, or have experienced a previous fracture. Unfortunately, only around 20 per cent of those women who sustain a fracture and go to hospital, are either treated or properly investigated for osteoporosis. Even fewer men are followed up appropriately.</p> <p>Poor bone health can lead to fractures. Don’t wait to break a bone, take the Know Your Bones health assessment today.</p> <p>The Know Your Bones fracture risk self-assessment takes only five minutes. Simply visit www.knowyourbones.org.au, print out a report and take it to your doctor to discuss your risk and a suitable action plan.</p> <p>It’s estimated that 1.2 million Australians are living with osteoporosis and 6.3 million have low bone density. Osteoporosis affects women and men, and occurs when bones lose their density and quality, weakening the skeleton. Osteoporosis can affect almost any of your body’s 206 bones, though fractures most often occur in the hip, spine, wrist, ribs, and pelvis. However, the Know Your Bones tool can help people understand when they may need to speak to their GP about managing risks, proper medical investigation and management can approximately halve the risk of further fracture.</p> <p>Risk factors for osteoporosis include a family history of the disease, fractures from minimal trauma, low bone density and falls. Medical risk factors include low body weight, early menopause, low testosterone, inflammatory conditions, malabsorption disorders (such as coeliac disease), corticosteroid use (e.g. for asthma), some cancer treatments (particularly for breast and prostate cancer), loss of height (3 cm or more), overactive thyroid and parathyroid conditions. Lifestyle issues include calcium and vitamin D deficiency, smoking, insufficient exercise and excessive alcohol consumption.</p> <p>To check out the online test, visit <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="http://www.knowyourbones.org.au/" target="_blank">www.knowyourbones.org.au</a></strong></span> now.</p>

Body

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Kerri-Anne Kennerley shares touching photo with husband John and dog at hospital

<p>Kerri-Anne Kennerley has stoically remained by her husband John’s bedside as he heals from the tragic fall that <a href="/news/news/2016/04/kerri-anne-kennerley-first-interview-since-husbands-fall/"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong>broke his C2 and C3 vertebrate</strong></span></a>, earlier this year.</p> <p>Kerri-Anne is doing everything she can to help John in his recovery, including bringing his beloved dog Digger along to cheer his spirits during bedside visits.</p> <p>Kerri-Anne shared the special moment in the photo below.</p> <p><img width="500" height="553" src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/18750/kerri-anne_500x553.jpg" alt="Kerri Anne" style="display: block; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"/></p> <p>Kerri-Anne posted the photo on her Instagram account with the caption, "Today was the first time Digger recognised John and made us all happy. So true, pets really are therapy."</p> <p>We’re sending our thoughts and best wishes to the loving couple, as they deal with what must be a very difficult situation. </p> <p><em>Image credit: Instagram / kerriannekennerley</em></p> <p><strong>Related links: </strong></p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="/lifestyle/family-pets/2015/12/life-lessons-from-grandparents/"><em>Top 10 life lessons kids learn from grandparents</em></a></strong></span></p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="/lifestyle/family-pets/2015/10/quotes-about-siblings/"><em>9 heart-warming quotes about siblings</em></a></strong></span></p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><em><a href="/lifestyle/family-pets/2015/09/kids-addicted-to-technology/">How kids have fun today is alarmingly different to the good old days</a></em></strong></span></p>

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