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“Slay while I decay”: 93-year-old grandmother’s hysterical funeral plans

<p>A 93-year-old grandmother has taken the internet by storm after sharing a video she wants to be played at her funeral.</p> <p>Lillian Droniak from Connecticut — already a social media icon — with more than 10.1 million followers on her TikTok is known for posting very candid clips.</p> <p>She’s now revealed a series of events she’d like her family to put into action after she passes away.</p> <p>The clip, which has raked in more than 24 million views, shows Lillian talking to the camera as she lounges about in an armchair while wearing a pink t-shirt emblazoned with the slogan, “You’re not invited to my funeral”.</p> <p>The cheeky 93-year-old began, “Thank you for coming everyone. There's probably a lot of people here so have fun.</p> <p>“If you're crying, stop being a baby. Find a tissue and move on. Don't be sad, I lived a long time.</p> <p>“I slayed every day and now, I'm going to lay every day. I hope you slay while I decay.”</p> <p>The grandmother continued, “And Bertha better not be here. If she's here, kick her out right now. I'm going to haunt you Bertha.</p> <p>“And my ex George better leave. I know he's here, I'm going to haunt him too.”<br />She concluded, “I hope everybody gets drunk after this. You better take a shot for me. Love you all.”<br /><iframe title="tiktok embed" src="https://cdn.embedly.com/widgets/media.html?src=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.tiktok.com%2Fembed%2Fv2%2F7243826555644808491&amp;display_name=tiktok&amp;url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.tiktok.com%2F%40grandma_droniak%2Fvideo%2F7243826555644808491%3Flang%3Den&amp;image=https%3A%2F%2Fp16-sign.tiktokcdn-us.com%2Fobj%2Ftos-useast5-p-0068-tx%2Fe292006686a3487bb3da94441b230627_1686584808%3Fx-expires%3D1687507200%26x-signature%3DbI%252BPoMCv2yA5KqPQ10NN1r%252FaolM%253D&amp;key=59e3ae3acaa649a5a98672932445e203&amp;type=text%2Fhtml&amp;schema=tiktok" width="340" height="700" frameborder="0" scrolling="no" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe></p> <p>She uploaded the clip paired with the caption, “Play this video at my funeral or I will haunt whoever is in charge thank you.”</p> <p>Social media users flocked to the comment section to have their say on her playful piece.</p> <p>One commented, “I hope Bertha and George show up just so they can be told to leave in front of everyone.”<br />'We can't slay while you decay,” another said.</p> <p style="text-align: justify;">“Why am I crying?” a third added.</p> <p style="text-align: justify;"><em>Image credit: TikTok</em></p>

Caring

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“I want my younger body back”: Finding a way to fight age’s decay

<p>I’m turning 50 next year. Like any major milestone in life, that presents an opportunity to reflect on what’s behind and what’s ahead. On the long list of creeping “changes” I’d begun to notice about myself – both mental and physical – one that leapt out every time I looked in the mirror was a strange sense of … shrinking.</p> <p>It’s possible this was an issue I was hyper aware of, having seen it in my father. You watch the shoulders vanish, the hair disappear, the neck thin out. You think nothing of it – nothing overly negative, anyway; it’s just the graceful march of time after all – but all the same, it registers on some level. </p> <p>Dad passed away from a type of motor neurone disease called progressive supranuclear palsy at the age of 72, the effects of which could be seen for quite a few years before the end. He was always a very active, sporty and outdoors guy. Loved golf. Dominated on a tennis court. Was weirdly skilled with a frisbee, and quietly the most proud of that for some reason. </p> <p>All of those take dexterity, finesse and physicality, the very things that vanish first when you are in the grip of progressive supranuclear palsy. He swung his last club and racquet, and made his last tricky behind-the-back frisbee throw, many years before he would have wanted.       </p> <p>So that’s the backdrop – and clearly the motivation – to all of this. In my mind now I’ve got potentially the same fate in store. Intellectually I know that’s not how it works, but you can’t tell your emotional self that. Whether or not PSP or MND is in my future is not something I can control, and that creates fear.   </p> <p>So, obviously, taking control over what you CAN control is the only sensible course. Which brings us back to the mirror. </p> <p>I’d been noticing this shrinking for some time – an overall diminishing of muscle mass in the shoulders, arms and legs – so I decided to look it up. </p> <p>Turns out, at least according to <a href="https://www.health.harvard.edu/staying-healthy/preserve-your-muscle-mass" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Harvard Medical School</a>, that “age-related muscle loss, called sarcopenia, is a natural part of ageing. After age 30, you begin to lose as much as 3% to 5% per decade. Most men will lose about 30% of their muscle mass during their lifetimes.”</p> <p>Thirty percent! That’s pretty grim news. </p> <p>But all is not lost, as it also turns out that’s mostly reversible – through a little basic resistance and weight training and upping your protein intake. </p> <p>Since I was a little frightened of heading into a crowded gym during these pandemic times, I also decided I wanted something I could do from the safety and convenience of home – and that’s when fate intervened in the form of the <a href="https://www.onepeloton.com.au/guide" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Peloton Guide</a>.</p> <p><img src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/2022/08/Peloton_1280_setup.jpg" alt="" width="1280" height="720" /></p> <p>I’d only ever heard of the <a href="https://www.onepeloton.com.au/bikes" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Peloton exercise bikes</a> before, but this clever new gadget essentially turns your TV into a home gym, which I found to be very impressive and a great idea. You take the Peloton Guide camera, clip it either to the top of your screen or place it at the base, and then after walking you through a series of very simple set-up steps, you can suddenly see YOURSELF in one half of the TV, while your virtual or pre-recorded class instructor appears on the other half and takes you through a workout, step by step. </p> <p>It’s basically like having an expert, one-on-one personal trainer right there in your home whenever you want, for any kind of workout you can possibly conceive of. </p> <p><a href="https://www.onepeloton.com.au/digital/checkout/digital-30d" target="_blank" rel="noopener">There’s an app</a> that contains a list of all the available workouts and exercises, all of which are designed to suit different ages and fitness levels so you can increase muscle mass while building stronger bones to reduce injury risk. There are warm-up classes, ones using dumbbell weights, others using just your own bodyweight, upper body, lower body, full-body, prenatal classes (I skipped those), resistance band classes, pilates classes, yoga sessions and load, loads more.</p> <p>Aside from being incredibly easy to use and a lot of fun, I found the classes to be highly motivating – and that’s the key right there. For some reason having that virtual instructor right there in front of you, showing you exactly how to perform each exercise, giving you encouragement and urging you on, really helps you try your hardest and even look forward to the next class. </p> <p>There are all kinds of other benefits, including free delivery, a <a href="https://www.onepeloton.com.au/home-trial" target="_blank" rel="noopener">100-day home trial</a> with a refund if you don’t absolutely love it, but for basically having a personal trainer on permanent stand-by in your home 24/7, I think the <a href="https://www.onepeloton.com.au/shop/guide" target="_blank" rel="noopener">rates are really reasonable</a>. Especially when the pay-offs are so great. </p> <p><img src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/2022/08/Peloton_12803.jpg" alt="" width="1280" height="720" /></p> <p>After just a few days of classes I was feeling the pain, but it was that good kind of pain you get from slowly reintroducing muscle groups to the concept of doing more than just sitting there gradually fading away.</p> <p>Then after a few weeks of classes that initial pain was replaced by a noticeable return of muscle mass and definition around the shoulders, in my legs, my arms, my calves and everywhere else that the tireless virtual trainers had directed me to concentrate my efforts.</p> <p>All in all I’m really happy with the results so far – enough to stick with it for the long term, that’s for sure. I haven’t suddenly become Arnold Schwarzenegger, but that was never the goal. I just wanted to feel stronger and more able to move around with the freedom I had felt a handful of years ago.</p> <p>I know I’m not alone in feeling like this. We recently asked our Over60 readers the exact question I had been thinking: “If you could get your younger body back, would you do it – and why?” and the responses were telling, to say the least.         </p> <p><img src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/2022/08/Peloton_1280_facebook2.jpg" alt="" width="1280" height="720" />  </p> <p>“I don't need the body that was beautiful,” said Over60 reader Merilyn O'Neill. ”But I would choose to have the strength that I had.”</p> <p>Greg Browning chimed in with this: “Yes. I am sick and tired of my body telling me that I can’t do the things I used to do.”</p> <p><img src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/2022/08/Peloton_1280_facebook1.jpg" alt="" width="1280" height="720" /></p> <p>Paulette Bakker said that “more muscle tone would help”; Lynne Fairbrother said, “Doesn't have to be younger, just stronger and then I could play tennis again”; Karen Moon said, “In a heartbeat… so l could play netball and tennis again… and this time l would appreciate it more!”</p> <p>And last but not least, Over60 reader Kel Marlow said what we’re all probably thinking: “Absolutely… because I’d probably live 10 years longer!”</p> <p>Well said, Kel. The good thing is it’s never too late to start.</p>

Body

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Grandma shows off 24-year-old McDonald’s burger that “never rotted or decayed”

<p>While it may seem like the sensible idea to throw food away after several weeks, months, or even years – one woman has proven just how far she went with her McDonald’s hamburger and French fries.</p> <p>A Tiktok user recently took to social media to share her grandmother’s decades-old possession that she keeps hiding away in a shoe box in her closet.</p> <p>Aly Sherb showed her grandma pulling open the 24-year-old wrapper to reveal a slightly old looking hamburger that she purchased in 1996.</p> <p>She starts off the video by showing the bag’s advertisement for US Nascar races in 1996.</p> <p>She then takes out the fries, which she says look like they could have fallen into a seat “a month or so ago” and says that they “never rotted or decayed.”</p> <blockquote style="max-width: 605px; min-width: 325px;" class="tiktok-embed" data-video-id="6865455379787173126"><a rel="noopener" href="https://www.tiktok.com/@aly.sherb" target="_blank" title="@aly.sherb">@aly.sherb</a> <p>Make this go viral, y’all <a rel="noopener" href="https://www.tiktok.com/tag/grandparentsoftiktok" target="_blank" title="grandparentsoftiktok">##grandparentsoftiktok</a> <a rel="noopener" href="https://www.tiktok.com/tag/mcdonalds" target="_blank" title="mcdonalds">##mcdonalds</a> <a rel="noopener" href="https://www.tiktok.com/tag/fyp" target="_blank" title="fyp">##fyp</a> <a rel="noopener" href="https://www.tiktok.com/tag/decadechallenge" target="_blank" title="decadechallenge">##decadechallenge</a> <a rel="noopener" href="https://www.tiktok.com/tag/foryou" target="_blank" title="foryou">##foryou</a> <a rel="noopener" href="https://www.tiktok.com/tag/happymeal" target="_blank" title="happymeal">##happymeal</a></p> <a rel="noopener" href="https://www.tiktok.com/music/original-sound-6865455385554406150" target="_blank" title="♬ original sound - aly.sherb">♬ original sound - aly.sherb</a></blockquote> <p>The woman then shows the burger that she purchased in its original wrapping, then pulls out the burger.</p> <p>The bun and burger appear to never have rotted or decayed either.</p> <p>The video finishes with her saying, “24-year-old hamburger, not sure what would happen if you ate it though.”</p> <p>Anne Christensen, director of Field Brand Reputation for McDonald’s, told Fox News: “In the right environment, our burgers, like most other foods, could decompose. But, in order to decompose, you need certain conditions — specifically moisture.”</p> <p>“Without sufficient moisture – either in the food itself or the environment – bacteria and mold may not grow and therefore, decomposition is unlikely.</p> <p>“So if food is or becomes dry enough, it is unlikely to grow mold or bacteria or decompose. Food prepared at home that is left to dehydrate could see similar results. Similarly, this particular burger is likely dried out and dehydrated, and by no means the same as the day it was purchased.”</p>

Food & Wine

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Inside the story: The Trauma Cleaner - a beautiful meditation on death and decay

<p>Sarah Krasnostein’s <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/34964868-the-trauma-cleaner">The Trauma Cleaner</a> has won many awards since it was published in 2017, including the Victorian Prize for Literature and the Australian Book Industry Award General Non-Fiction Book of the Year.</p> <p>While the title may speak of a provocative premise – <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/books/2017/sep/28/i-started-dry-retching-the-compassion-of-a-trauma-cleaner">what is a trauma cleaner</a>? Are there really jobs like this? – it’s not just the content that makes it a wonderful read, it’s also the writing style. Every word, every sentence, is carefully considered, re-considered and re-considered some more, resulting in what can only be described as beautiful language.</p> <p>I was truly blown away by the power and precision of the prose. Sounds, tastes and smells emanate from the page, creating a visceral experience of protagonist Sandra’s extraordinary, often traumatic, life.</p> <p><strong>Orchestration of words</strong></p> <p>Krasnostein uses exquisite turns of phrase. Language is used to excavate facts and polish ideas that are hard to get rid of – things that stick. As Krasnostein writes, the book is “a catalogue of the ways we die physically and emotionally, and the strength and delicacy needed to lift the things we leave behind”.</p> <p>Introducing her subject, Krasnostein writes:</p> <p><em>During my time with Sandra, I met a bookbinder, a sex offender, a puppeteer, a cookbook hoarder, a cat hoarder, a wood hoarder […] I heard Sandra bend and flex language into words and idioms she made her own: “supposably”, “sposmatically”, “hands down pat!”</em></p> <p>It is this careful and playful orchestration of words – facts transformed into a scintillating narrative – that makes the book hard to put down. Every page lures you in, making you hungry for more.</p> <p>Beneath the beautiful language, resonance strikes and asks us to think of our own lives. Expressions hit like a sudden gust of wind. They bring tears to your eyes. We are not asked to feel sad, but to feel what was, and still is, being experienced by these people – to feel the complexity of the circumstances.</p> <p><em>Imagine Ailsa, the girl who loves to bake, the woman whose cakes are light and high and whose dark religion tells her to fear her effeminate son […] Imagine that baby as a boy frozen in his bed, straining to read the sound of a motor in the driveway over the noise of his own racing heart.</em></p> <p>Krasnostein’s language evokes in us the visceral aspects of a situation – the pain and pleasure of those involved. She says of Sandra, then still Peter, practising his female voice in the shower when wife Linda is out: “the refrain of thrumming along his veins that signifies his only certainty and which says: you don’t belong here”.</p> <p>Later, of his eventual parting from wife and children towards a new life as Sandra:</p> <p><em>When he steps around the food flung on the floor or smells the milk turning in bottles in the sink, or when cries momentarily shatter his sleep like a glass flung against a wall, he doesn’t really notice because in his mind he is dancing at [gay club] Annabel’s with Joe.</em></p> <p>Krasnostein is adept at laying out facts with no judgement or flourish, allowing their trauma to speak to us individually. She refuses to manipulate her readers, instead touching the facts lightly with a sense of perspective: “she will never fear what is ahead of her, only what is behind her”.</p> <p>From one trauma to the next, we learn of the murder of Sandra’s girlfriend, Maria, by a nightclub bouncer. Krasnostein uses repetition to speculate on his motives:</p> <p><em>Maybe he has it in for her. Maybe he has it in for dykes. Maybe he’s jealous of her. Maybe he’s jealous of the girlfriend. Maybe he’s repulsed that he’s jealous of either of them […] Maybe he just wants to feel the force of bone on muscle.</em></p> <p>Krasnostein gives us story perspective in a light, non-manipulative way. That last line is sparse yet stark, simple yet powerful.</p> <p>And then this, which winds all the facts into a clean knot that represents the very core of Sandra’s life journey: “Sandra does not need a physics lesson to understand that time dilates; life taught her early that some seconds are cruelly quick and others are tortuously slow”.</p> <p>Krasnostein pores over language, refining it until it says the most it can in the fewest words possible. “Something you might try to ignore, like a full bladder on a cold night”. “What chips some people like a mug cracks others, like an egg”. “The couch is a grave”.</p> <p><strong>Writing of writing</strong></p> <p>The Trauma Cleaner also speaks about the process of its being written, with authority and poignancy:</p> <p><em>I scrap draft after draft of my timeline and even when I am assisted in my task by Sandra’s recollection, the narrative remains a tangled necklace. Events link into one another only so far before they halt, abruptly, as some great knot where they loop over each other so tightly that some seem to disappear altogether.</em></p> <p>In some ways, the narrative arc of the book is not Sandra’s own journey, but Krasnostein’s understanding of Sandra and what she represents for all of us. This is achieved with a lightness of touch, the author never getting in the way of the reader’s own interpretations.</p> <p>Krasnostein writes at the start of the book:</p> <p><em>And here it hits me what it is we are doing by telling this story. It is something at once utterly unfamiliar and completely alien to Sandra: we are clearing away the clutter of her life out of basic respect for the inherent value of the person beneath.</em></p> <p>And then at the end of the book, after we have witnessed all of Sandra’s trauma, humour and resilience, an ordaining of our protagonist in language that is at once beautiful and beatific: “Sandra, you exist in the Order of Things and the Family of People; you belong, you belong, you belong”.</p> <p><em>Written by Craig Batty. Republished with permission of <a href="https://theconversation.com/inside-the-story-the-trauma-cleaner-a-beautiful-meditation-on-death-and-decay-127436">The Conversation.</a></em></p>

Retirement Life

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The frightening truth about oral decay

<p>Oral decay could be the next big threat to Australian over-60s, according to a Rockhampton dentist. Greg More, former Queensland president of the Australian Dental Association, has found an increasing number of aged care patients with poor oral hygiene, which, in severe cases, can lead to early death.</p> <p>“Unfortunately, with the passage of time people are just no longer able to maintain their own mouths in the way that they used to,” Dr Greg Moore told the <a href="http://www.abc.net.au/news/2017-01-18/oral-decay-a-time-bomb-for-aging-population-dentist-warns/8191362" target="_blank"><strong><span style="text-decoration: underline;">ABC</span></strong></a>. “Someone else needs to do it, and I've got no problem with nursing home staff — they are very heavily overworked as it is, and cleaning someone else's mouth, with natural teeth, is a very difficult process.”</p> <p>According to Dr Moore, a large part of the problem is simply mobility – particularly aged care facilities in more rural areas. “The saddest cases are when people ring me and say, ‘our mother's dentures are just not fitting the way they used to, can you come and tighten them up for me,’” he explains. “I go in there and the reason their dentures don't fit it because the teeth that used to hold their partial dentures are now little black stumps on their gums. At this stage, they're unwell, they're poor anaesthetic risks, they're immobile and they're heavily medicated – it's just a complete medical nightmare.”</p> <p>Adding to the already frightening situation, the soft, sweet foods regularly given to aged care patients are only contributing to decay. And, in most cases, those who have little control over their diet also have little control over their dental health.</p> <p>To combat this, Dr Moore says more aged care homes need to engage regular dental services, though admits this could send the already-expensive care fees further up. “It's the cost of the person's health and wellbeing. How can you put a cost on that?”</p> <p>Have you found this to be the case? Share your thoughts in the comments below.</p> <p><em>Source: <a href="http://www.abc.net.au/news/2017-01-18/oral-decay-a-time-bomb-for-aging-population-dentist-warns/8191362" target="_blank"><strong><span style="text-decoration: underline;">ABC</span></strong></a></em></p>

Caring

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6 years on this McDonald’s burger sold in Iceland still hasn’t decayed

<p>In the latest case of fast-food troublingly standing the test of time, a cheeseburger purchased from a McDonald’s restaurant in Iceland in 2009 still hasn’t decayed and is set to be displayed in a museum.</p> <p>With the country engulfed in economic disarray, McDonald’s closed its last restaurant in Iceland in 2009, but not before Hjörtur Smárason bought a cheeseburger. But instead of eating the burger, Mr Smárason decided to keep it on a shelf in his garage and see what happened.</p> <p>And the results were startling. Throughout the years the burger at least appeared to hardly decay, until it was donated to Iceland’s national museum.</p> <p>The burger in question has now found a new home at the Bus Hostel Reykjavik, where a live camera is set up. To view a <a href="http://bushostelreykjavik.com/last-mcdonalds-in-iceland" target="_blank"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong>live stream of the burger click here</strong></span></a>.</p> <p>McDonald’s has responded to questions regarding its foods indestructible nature, saying, “Actually, it can. Food needs moisture in the air for mould to form. Without it, food will simply dry out – sort of like bread left out on a counter overnight to make croutons for stuffing. You might have seen experiments which seem to show no decomposition in our food. Most likely, this is because the food has dehydrated before any visible deterioration could occur.”</p>

News

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Did you know kissing helps prevent tooth decay? Read why and 9 other fun facts about kissing

<p>There’s so much more to know about kissing than just puckering up. Here are 10 fun facts about one of the most intimate, sensual and fun things you can do with your significant other.</p> <p>1. The longest kiss lasted for more than 58 hours. Ekkachai Tiranarat and Laksana Tiranarat from Thailand locked lips for 58 hours, 35 minutes, and 58 seconds in 2013, beating nine couples to win the Guinness World Record for longest kiss.</p> <p>2. The science of kissing is called philematology. What exactly do they study? They don’t only focus on the biology of kissing but also explore the many reasons why we kiss.</p> <p>3. The most popular non-kissing kisses in the world, the Eskimo kiss, didn’t start because they feared their mouths would be frozen together as commonly believed. Due to the extreme cold, Eskimos would only have their eyes and noses exposed, which forced them to invent their own method of displaying affection</p> <p> 4. A 10 minute kissing session can transmit up to 80 million bacteria between partners.</p> <p>5. Two-thirds of people tilt their heads the same way when going in for a kiss. Neuroscientist Onur Güntürkün people-watched for about two-and-a-half years and found most people turn their head to the right than to the left.</p> <p>6. The first on-screen lip lock in history happened in 1896. Thomas Edison, the famed inventor of the electric light bulb and the phonograph filmed and screened The Kiss, a 23-second film featuring public kissing which was taboo at the time.</p> <p>7. Kissing helps prevent tooth decay. The anticipation of kiss increase the flow of saliva to the mouth, which helps clean out food particles in the mouth and protect tooth enamel.</p> <p>8. The term “French kiss” was originally a slur on the French culture when introduced around 1923. In France, it’s called a tongue kiss or soul kiss because it’s meant to feel as if two souls are merging.</p> <p>9. Kissing requires the coordination of 146 muscles total, including 34 facial muscles and 112 postural muscles.</p> <p>10. A famous study by Dr. Arthur Szabo in the 1960s found men who received a peck on the lips by their wives before work lives around five years longer, make 20 to 30 per cent more money and are involved in fewer car crashes. It seems these men went to work with a more positive attitude which in turn made them physically and mentally healthier.</p>

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