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Readers response: Do you find technology has made travel easier or more complicated?

<p>When it comes to travelling, advancements in technology over the years have made the world much more accessible. </p> <p>However, sometimes tech can backfire and leave you lost or stranded. </p> <p>We asked our readers if they find technology has made travel easier or more complicated, and the response was overwhelming. Here's what they said.</p> <p><strong>Dawn Douglas</strong> - Easier by far. You can find hotels, cafes, restaurants, tours and so on.</p> <p><strong>Christine James</strong> - Easier, but we would still rather book through a travel agent. It can be good for research to where you are going though.</p> <p><strong>Brian Adams</strong> - Travel without a smartphone is nearly impossible! There’s no other option to get around sometimes!</p> <p><strong>June Maynard</strong> - More complicated. I'm glad I'm married to an IT tech guy! I leave it all up to him.</p> <p><strong>Pat Isaacs</strong> - Everything seems more complicated with technology for me!!</p> <p><strong>Karen Salvietti </strong>- Much easier to get around with technology overseas.</p> <p><strong>Val Goodwin</strong> - Far more complicated for me, I'm technically challenged lol.</p> <p><strong>Rosemary Miles</strong> - I’m 81 and technology has made everything easier for me. I travel overseas twice a year and hope to be able to keep doing it for a few years longer. I’m spending the grandkids’ inheritance!</p> <p><em>Image credits: Shutterstock </em></p>

Travel Trouble

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Can money buy you happiness? It’s complicated

<div class="theconversation-article-body"><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/cathrine-jansson-boyd-237916">Cathrine Jansson-Boyd</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/anglia-ruskin-university-1887">Anglia Ruskin University</a></em></p> <p>Consumer society is growing fast around the globe. In 2011 it was estimated that 1.7 billion people were living in what is considered to be the <a href="http://www.worldwatch.org/node/810">“consumer class”</a> – and nearly half of them are in the developing world. Consumption of goods and services has <a href="http://data.worldbank.org/indicator/NE.CON.PRVT.CD">grown at a staggering rate over the past few decades</a> and prompts us to ask: does it makes us happy? The answer’s not as simple as you might think.</p> <p>As a starting point, it is useful to look at <a href="https://books.google.co.uk/books?id=1A2siA19hKYC&amp;printsec=frontcover&amp;source=gbs_ge_summary_r&amp;cad=0#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false">reported life satisfaction</a> across the globe. In richer nations, people usually buy more products and services. Hence if consumption genuinely made people happier, one would expect people to be happier in wealthy countries.</p> <p>It is true that people in rich nations report greater levels of life satisfaction (one measure of determining <a href="http://worldhappiness.report/">happiness</a>) than those in poor ones. However, the picture looks a little different when comparing moderately and very wealthy countries as there is no difference between the two. This indicates that money and increased material wealth does not necessarily equal higher levels of happiness.</p> <h2>Being materialistic</h2> <p>In the past few decades, people in richer industrialised societies have become increasingly materialistic. There are two key reasons for this – first, because we learn by observing others, it has become acceptable. And second, because people use products as a means to <a href="http://www.businessinsider.com/the-psychology-behind-retail-therapy-2012-11?IR=T">fill a psychological void</a> in their life. The latter is, at least partially, affected by marketing messages consistently telling us that consumption is the path to happiness.</p> <p>So when people feel they are lacking something in their lives they try to replace it with material possessions. But this often fails, as people usually misjudge what will make them happy. So what often happens is that people get a temporary boost from a particular purchase, but the pleasure tends to fade with time as they adapt to having it, leaving them unsatisfied.</p> <p>They then search for another product that can provide an even stronger pleasurable feeling – but, as before, it will again fade away. This continues as if we are on a forever spinning wheel of consumption. With <a href="http://link.springer.com/article/10.1023/B:JOHS.0000005719.56211.fd">every search for a new pleasing purchase</a>, expectations subconsciously rise – and the result is that we often feel a need to increase the number of purchases made or to spend more money.</p> <h2>Feelings of insecurity</h2> <p>How consumers feel about themselves also dictate consumption patterns. Highly materialistic individuals tend to value possessions that are expensive, seen as high status and are easily spotted and recognised by other people. This is because materialism is related to <a href="http://ase.tufts.edu/gdae/cs/personal%20well-being.pdf">a lack of self-esteem</a>. Hence, feelings of insecurity lead to a concern about what others think about them – which in turn leads to attempts to gain approval from others by owning desirable products.</p> <p>This lack of confidence often originates from what kind of toys we played with in childhood. Many girls, for example, are exposed to unrealistic views of what women should look like when they are given toys like <a href="http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-35670446">Barbie dolls</a>. This unrealistic view is then internalised and can be carried over into adulthood. A <a href="http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/education-37543769">recent report</a> suggests that approximately 40% of girls and young women lack confidence in how they look. To alleviate the disappointment with their appearance, they are likely to embark on a quest to purchase products they believe will make them more attractive.</p> <p>The media also plays a big role in stripping people of self-esteem. Women’s magazines are designed to encourage them to consume expensive clothes, make-up and lifestyle objects to mitigate the insecurities they feel by comparing themselves and their lives to the models and celebrities inside.</p> <p>Men can be affected by the media in similar ways – an increasing number of <a href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/fashion/features/mens-grooming-is-now-a-multi-billion-pound-worldwide-industry-a6813196.html">men are influenced by magazines to consume clothes and beauty items</a>. When such insecurities are established, the appeal of consumption tends to increase – people are sold the message that they can buy “the very thing” that will help alleviate their insecure feelings.</p> <h2>Not all doom and gloom</h2> <p>Even though it seems that consumption is not synonymous with happiness it is not quite as straightforward as that. One key component for good mental health is to have a solid social support network. A constant pursuit of material possessions makes people disregard aspects of life that can contribute to general well-being, such as a healthy friendship network.</p> <p>It may therefore seem like a paradox that purchasing experiences can be the way to generate better social connections. Purchases made with the intention of <a href="http://psycnet.apa.org/journals/gpr/9/2/132/">having an experience</a>, such as a ski holiday or possibly <a href="http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-37550679">something more unusual</a> – such as “being” a celebrity for the day – can boost a person’s sense of happiness. This is often not because of the gratification caused by the thing itself but because it provides people with an opportunity to discuss their experiences with others. The joy of such an experience is that its benefits are subjective and thus not easy to compare – unlike a new mobile phone – which may not be as fancy as someone else’s. Consequently, you are not as likely to feel negative by having a “worse” experience than someone else.</p> <p>Perhaps the question that needs asking is not if consumption leads to happiness, but whether what we consume leads to happiness. As we are approaching the time of year when consuming often reaches an all-time high (<a href="http://www.mirror.co.uk/money/shopping-deals/black-friday-best-deals-2016-6630912">Black Friday</a>, <a href="http://www.mirror.co.uk/money/cyber-monday-2016-big-deals-6825898">Cyber Monday</a> and Christmas), it is worth reflecting on whether the purchases you make are going to genuinely fulfil your desires. Ask yourself if you should be buying more products, or whether it may be the time to buy theatre tickets for your friends to foster stronger social relationships.<!-- End of code. If you don't see any code above, please get new code from the Advanced tab after you click the republish button. The page counter does not collect any personal data. More info: https://theconversation.com/republishing-guidelines --></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/cathrine-jansson-boyd-237916">Cathrine Jansson-Boyd</a>, Reader in Consumer Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/anglia-ruskin-university-1887">Anglia Ruskin University</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Shutterstock </em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/can-money-buy-you-happiness-its-complicated-66307">original article</a>.</em></p> </div>

Money & Banking

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David Campbell and Jimmy Barnes open up on "complicated" relationship

<p>Jimmy Barnes and David Campbell have opened up on their unconventional father-son bond in the latest episode of <em>The Apple & The Tree</em> podcast. </p> <p>The podcast hosted by Richard and Christian Wilkins aims to get under the hood of famous Aussie families, discussing the good, the bad and everything else. </p> <p>In the podcast, Jimmy revealed that he was just a teen when David was left in the care of his maternal grandmother, and he didn't know that his dad was the most famous rock star in the country until he was 10 years old. </p> <p>When asked how David felt when he realised who his dad was, he replied: "He was 30 ... and a 10-year-old just lands in his lap ... it's a really complicated situation." </p> <p>"I had lot of anxiety ... a lot of 'I don't belong here' but also 'I want to belong here'."</p> <p>Jimmy agreed, and said, "He tried to escape from it." </p> <p>The singer recalled what a tricky time it was for his son. </p> <p>"David got a bit sick when he started to realise who I was, it was overwhelming, he got migraines and stuff.</p> <p>"I was like, 'I'm sorry I'm your father ... have you seen Star Wars?'" he joked.</p> <p>Despite the rough start, Jimmy's wife Jane had hope that the new family dynamic was a positive change, and she was right. </p> <p>"We can both safely say that there was one factor that made this work quickly, it was Jane," Jimmy shared.</p> <p>"Even now, David is probably closer to Jane than he is to me," he continued.</p> <p>David also grew a close bond with his half-sister Mahalia Barnes, who was really young when they first met. </p> <p>They now have the strongest bond, both on and off stage. </p> <p>Speaking about his relationship with Mahalia, David said: "The joy of singing with Mahalia on stage, it reminds me of the time I just got there, and she was my first sister ... I trust her with secrets in my life, implicitly." </p> <p>Over time the family dynamic has developed into something that Jimmy said he cherishes dearly. </p> <p>"I can't regret anything I've done, because everything I've done has brought me to this space, with this family," he said.</p> <p>"I don't take any of this for granted, but I used to medicate, I now just meditate."</p> <p>Now that David is a parent himself he added that there are some perks for his kids for having a world-famous rocker as their 'Pa'.</p> <p>"When Grandparent Day happens, all of a sudden every parent turns up really dressed well ... asking for selfies," he said.</p> <p><em>Image: X/ Nine</em></p>

Family & Pets

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Why are the poor shunned? The reasons are complicated

<p>In a <a href="https://www.cambridge.org/core/journals/central-european-history/article/what-it-means-to-have-nothing-poverty-and-the-idea-of-human-dignity-in-nineteenthcentury-germany/8C8F12F666689B75396E67A212E69EBD">study</a> of 19th century ideas of poverty, the German historian Beate Althammer observes a strange dichotomy. On the one hand, “there existed a deep-rooted tradition of ascribing to the poor a special proximity to God”.</p> <p>As a Hamburg teacher wrote in 1834, "Who obliges us more to sympathy and reverence than he who faces the inescapable blows of an erratic fate with manly steadiness, pious resignation and wise abstinence? What a dignified appearance is the neediness simultaneously ennobled and keenly veiled by an indestructible love of honor, which will bear suffering rather than pity!"</p> <p>Yet the same teacher sounds a dissonant note when writing about the “depraved, ignominious poverty” of the beggar, “who has rid himself of all shame and discipline on the way to impoverishment”. </p> <p>“Where idleness has become a trade and begging a fraudulent art,” he continues, “all human feeling has died.”</p> <p>The idea that the poor are impoverished morally as well as materially, that they lack humanity as well as means, has a long history. It is expressed most mordantly in Jonathan Swift’s <a href="https://www.gutenberg.org/files/1080/1080-h/1080-h.htm">A Modest Proposal</a>, a 1729 satire on British attitudes to Irish poverty.</p> <p>Starvation among large families could be averted with a simple solution, "A young healthy child well nursed, is, at a year old, a most delicious nourishing and wholesome food, whether stewed, roasted, baked, or boiled; and I make no doubt that it will equally serve in a fricassee, or a ragout."</p> <p>Swift’s suggestion that poor children could become a commercial food source is mocking heartless responses to poverty. His “proposal” rests on a dehumanising equation of people with animals or consumer goods. A new book argues that this animus is an enduring feature of contemporary society.</p> <h2>Aporophobia</h2> <p><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adela_Cortina">Adela Cortina</a> is a distinguished Spanish political philosopher who has written extensively on ethics, justice, civil society and democracy. Around the new millennium, she began to write on the rejection of the poor as an overlooked form of prejudice.</p> <p>Cortina coined the term “aporophobia” – from the Ancient Greek aporos, meaning poor or without means – and published an influential 2017 book on the subject in Spanish. That book has now been published in English as <a href="https://press.princeton.edu/books/hardcover/9780691205526/aporophobia">Aporophobia: Why We Reject the Poor Instead of Helping Them</a>.</p> <p>Cortina does not present aporophobia as a clinical condition or narrowly as a species of fear. Much like other faux-phobias, such as homophobia and xenophobia, she takes it to be a widespread aversion, based on contempt as much as dread, which justifies the ongoing deprecation of the poor.</p> <p>Her primary case for the reality and significance of aporophobia rests on the harsh treatment of immigrants and displaced people. What might first appear to be a xenophobic response, Cortina argues, may not be motivated by their foreignness or race, but by the perception that their poverty leaves them unable to reciprocate the host nation’s beneficence, "Do we reject immigrants because they are foreign or because they are poor and seem to bring problems while offering nothing of value in return?"</p> <p>Cortina observes that some groups of foreigners are welcomed. Tourists, investors and international students, all of whom bring resources, encounter widespread xenophilia. The roots of prejudice towards immigrants, refugees and asylum seekers, Cortina suggests, are therefore to be found in the perception of their indigence rather than their alienness.</p> <p>Having defined and made a theoretical case for aporophobia, Cortina moves on to the problem of hatred, understood as group-based animosity based on the assumed superiority of its perpetrators. </p> <p>Hate crimes against the poor and homeless motivated by aporophobia, which she estimates as constituting around 1% of Spain’s total, must be acknowledged and taken seriously. Even so, she maintains that aporophobic hatred is distinct from other kinds because “involuntary poverty […] is neither a personal identity nor a choice”.</p> <p>Cortina’s prescription for combating hate speech is the cultivation of “active respect” and “mutual recognition of dignity” in civil society. Juridical solutions are insufficient, she maintains. The grounds for objecting to hate speech is a proposed “right to self-esteem”, a right that some might seem to have in excess. </p> <p>Although many examples of hate speech appear to be based on race, religion or ideology, Cortina proposes that poverty is their essential common ingredient. Aporophobia, she argues, “is inevitably at the root of speech acts that target those in subordinate positions”. On this expansive view, any form of subordination or “position of weakness” is interpreted as a form of poverty. </p> <p>Overcoming hatred may be challenging because “our brains are aporophobic”. Cortina explores the neuroscience of social conflict, finding evidence of a “contractualist brain” that is primed to expect reciprocity and respond with moralistic aggression to violations of that principle. To override this brain-based rejection of free riders, she argues, we need a program of “moral bioenhancement”. </p> <p>The ultimate way forward does not involve tinkering with our brains, however. “Economic institutions that eliminate poverty and inequality are the best ways to eradicate aporophobia.” In addition, universal values and “cosmopolitan hospitality” must be taught and practised. Cortina closes her book with suggestions for how a more compassionate citizenry and a more economically fair international order can be created.</p> <h2>Impoverished emotions</h2> <p>Cortina’s work is a philosophically rich and sometimes rousing call to end poverty and secure human dignity. Whether the concept of aporophobia can bear the interpretive load she places on it is another matter. The concept is both too narrow and too ambitious to serve its intended explanatory function. Its diagnosis of the source of antipathy to the poor is questionable in three respects.</p> <p>First, the concept of aporophobia asserts that the ingredients of antipathy to the poor are fear and contempt. The poor are dreaded from a position of threat and scorned from a position of imagined superiority. These emotional elements may be present in responses to the poor, but indifference and neglect are at least equally powerful. The poor suffer as much from a cold lack of concern, reinforced by spatial separation, as they do from heated aversion. Residential segregation and national borders help to keep poverty out of sight and out of mind, but this motivated ignorance is invisible in Cortina’s account.</p> <p>Second, the concept of aporophobia overlooks a key aspects of the rejection of the poor. By centring fear and contempt, Cortina omits the moral dimension of that aversion. The poor are not merely dreaded and scorned, but are also believed to have transgressed rules of fairness. This dynamic is evident in the dichotomous reactions to the virtuous and vicious poor characters mentioned at the beginning of this review. Polarised responses to people viewed as deserving and undeserving of their impoverished state are common. Those seen as not responsible for their condition are judged worthy, whereas those who are thought to have brought it on themselves are reviled. Attitudes to the poor hinge on moral evaluations of deservingness, which ideas of amoral aversion fail to capture.</p> <p>Third, if our views of the poor are indeed polarised by judgements of deservingness, is there a powerful aversion to the poor as a class, as Cortina suggests, or only to its undeserving variety? The poor are sometimes stereotyped as lacking in warmth and capability – though <a href="https://spssi.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/josi.12208">not invariably</a>. But it is unclear whether that perception reveals attitudes to poverty per se or only to that demonised form. </p> <p><a href="https://spssi.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/pdf/10.1111/asap.12313">Recent Australian research</a> suggests that evaluations of poverty may be quite benevolent. The study examined how public attitudes are influenced by poverty, unemployment and receipt of income support. It found that poverty itself carries little stigma. Members of the working poor were judged no less sympathetically than other workers. </p> <p>Being unemployed, however, carried a negative charge, and receiving unemployment benefits an additional one. Benefit recipients were perceived as less disciplined, emotionally stable and warm than other unemployed people. </p> <p>These findings are consistent with the well established phenomenon of <a href="https://www.cambridge.org/core/journals/journal-of-social-policy/article/abs/stigma-of-claiming-benefits-a-quantitative-study/AF30092AE7D5B7C659798228B219F02C">benefit stigma</a>, related to a stereotype of recipients as lazy, parasitic, and undeserving. They are not consistent with an aversion to poor people that is directly attributable to their poverty. Any account that invokes an amoral generalised aversion to the poor rather than a moralised aversion to the supposedly undeserving poor is incomplete.</p> <h2>Is aporophobia primary?</h2> <p>In addition to querying Cortina’s characterisation of the emotions underlying our views of the poor, we can also quibble with her argument for the primacy of aporophobia over xenophobia in the rejection of immigrants and displaced people. </p> <p>It is unquestionably true that attitudes to outsiders are rarely monolithically negative, and that wealthy foreigners are welcomed in ways that refugees are not. But the argument that xenophobia can be reduced to aporophobia – not to mention the more general claim that aporophobia is at the root of all forms of subordination – is entirely far-fetched. </p> <p>Our tendency to show an ethnocentric preference for our own kind – to value and favour in-group over out-group – is very <a href="https://spssi.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/0022-4537.00126">well established</a> and even wealthy outsiders are not immune to it. We routinely denigrate and distrust foreign nationals, even – and sometimes especially – when they are rich and powerful. </p> <p>The fact that poverty is one reason for our rejection of immigrants or displaced persons does not make it the only one. Any rejection based on lack of means or reciprocity is compounded by rejection based on foreignness (xenophobia), on race, and potentially on other factors, such as religion or gender. </p> <p>To reduce the hostility of rich European nations to immigrants from North Africa and beyond to aporophobia, as Cortina does, or to racism, as others prefer to do, is to oversimplify. Single-barrelled explanations overlook the fact that prejudice is layered.</p> <p>Consider Australia’s historically unwelcoming attitude to many immigrants and displaced persons. It has been popular to view this rejection through a racism or xenophobia monocle. If that were the whole story, public attitudes would be equally antagonistic to immigrants, refugees admitted through the humanitarian program, and undocumented asylum seekers. But those attitudes are decidedly unequal.</p> <p>Attitudes towards immigrants are typically warmer and more compassionate than those towards refugees, with special scorn reserved for undocumented boat arrivals. Aporophobia may help to account for some of these differences: immigrants are assumed to be skilled and economically self-sufficient, whereas refugees and asylum seekers are assumed to require substantial welfare supports. </p> <p>However, much of the animus towards asylum seekers focuses not on their race, foreignness, or lack of resources, but on moralistic reactions to their mode of entry, as the shrill language of “illegals” and “queue-jumpers” attests. To reduce popular attitudes towards displaced people to racism, xenophobia or aporophobia is to bulldoze several tiers of aversion into one flattened explanation.</p> <h2>A confluence of factors</h2> <p>Social rejection can take many forms and have many determinants. The idea of “<a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intersectionality">intersectionality</a>” offers one perspective. How we evaluate and respond to a person may reflect the unique intersection of their identities. The stereotype of “Asian woman” is not a simple sum of the stereotypes of “Asian” and “woman” but may call up a distinct configuration of perceptions. </p> <p>Sometimes, though, it helps to remember that some attitudes are not so much intersectional as additive, at least in their virulence. How negatively we perceive groups such as asylum seekers may reflect a confluence of factors: their outsider status, their race, their poverty, their officially sanctioned versus unsanctioned means of entering the country, and so on. </p> <p>“Additivity” doesn’t have the same ring as “intersectionality”, but it might help to warn us off simplifying accounts of social exclusion.</p> <p>Aporophobia is nevertheless a valuable addition to the social scientist’s conceptual arsenal. Cortina’s work draws welcome attention to a form of prejudice that is too often shunted aside by our identitarian focus on race, gender and sexuality. </p> <p>We might quibble with some inflated claims for the primacy of aporophobia, with the imperfect analysis of its emotional signature, and with the omission of social class from Cortina’s discussion of economic inequality. Her emphasis on the rejection of displaced people within European nations – understandable given the book’s original publication in 2017 when a refugee crisis was convulsing the continent – can also be faulted. Examining public responses to the domestic poor might afford a clearer view of aporophobia than one complicated by displacement and ethnic differences.</p> <p>Despite these reservations, Cortina has written a significant work of social philosophy that deserves close attention in the Anglophone world. Aporophobia is a provocative book that will stimulate discussion, argument and investigation.</p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p> <p><em>This article originally appeared on <a href="https://theconversation.com/why-are-the-poor-shunned-the-reasons-are-complicated-194808" target="_blank" rel="noopener">The Conversation</a>. </em></p>

Caring

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Is menopause making me put on weight? No, but it’s complicated

<p>It’s a question people ask often: does menopause cause weight gain?</p> <p>Women commonly put on weight as they enter menopause. <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8569454/">Research</a> shows women aged 46-57 gain an average of <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/11910598/">2.1kg over five years</a>.</p> <p>But like many things related to weight, all is not what it seems, and the relationship between menopause and weight gain is not straightforward.</p> <p>Here’s everything you need to know about menopausal weight gain and what you can do about it.</p> <h2>What typically happens to women’s bodies during menopause?</h2> <p>Menopause marks the natural end of the reproductive stage of a woman’s life. It officially starts when a woman has not menstruated for <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0140673698053525">12 months</a>, and most women reach menopause between the ages of <a href="https://academic.oup.com/ije/article/43/5/1542/695928?login=false">45 and 55</a>, but it can happen much earlier or later.</p> <p>The transition to menopause, however, typically starts four years prior, with perimenopause marking the time when a woman’s ovaries start slowing down, producing less oestrogen and progesterone. Eventually, these hormone levels fall to a point at which the ovaries stop releasing eggs and menstruation stops.</p> <p>The symptoms associated with the menopausal transition are many and varied, and can include irregular periods, breast pain, vaginal dryness, hot flashes, night sweats, fatigue, difficulty sleeping, and changes in mood and libido.</p> <h2>So does menopause cause weight gain?</h2> <p>The short answer is no. But it’s complicated.</p> <p>When it comes to menopause and weight, it’s weight redistribution – not weight gain – that is actually a symptom. <a href="https://www.ajog.org/article/S0002-9378(19)30588-5/fulltext">Research</a> has confirmed menopause is linked to an increase in belly fat but not an increase in overall weight.</p> <p>This is because the hormonal changes experienced during menopause only prompt a change in <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0002937896701114">where the body stores fat</a>, making women’s stomachs and <a href="https://www.ajog.org/article/S0002-9378(19)30588-5/fulltext">waists</a> more prone to weight gain. <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/10702775/">Research</a> shows visceral fat (deep belly fat) increases by nearly 50% in postmenopausal women, compared with premenopausal women.</p> <p>It’s also important to recognise some menopause symptoms may indirectly contribute to weight gain:</p> <ul> <li> <p>sleep issues can lead to sleep deprivation, disturbing the body’s <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1002/oby.23616">appetite hormones</a>, increasing feelings of hunger and triggering food cravings</p> </li> <li> <p>some mood changes can activate the body’s stress responses, increasing the production of the hormone cortisol, promoting fat storage and triggering unhealthy food cravings. Mood can also impact the motivation to exercise</p> </li> <li> <p>fatigue, breast pain and hot flushes can make physical activity challenging or uncomfortable, also impacting the ability to exercise.</p> </li> </ul> <h2>The truth? Ageing is the real cause of menopausal weight gain</h2> <p>You read that right – the weight gain often associated with menopause is a <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1568163709000415">byproduct of ageing</a>.</p> <p>As the body ages, it stops working as efficiently. It experiences an involuntary loss of muscle mass – referred to as <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0070215305680052">sarcopenia</a> – and fat levels begin to increase.</p> <p>Because muscle mass helps determine the body’s metabolic rate (how much energy the body burns at rest), when we lose muscle, the body starts to burn fewer calories at rest.</p> <p>Ageing also means dealing with other health issues that can make weight management more complex. For example, <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK537590/">medications</a> can impact how the body functions, and <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3529154/">arthritis</a> and general aches and pains can impact mobility and the ability to exercise.</p> <p>In short – the body’s ageing process and changing physicality is the real reason women experience menopause weight gain.</p> <h2>It’s not just weight gain</h2> <p>While menopause doesn’t make you put on weight, it can increase a woman’s risk of other serious health conditions.</p> <p>The redistributed weight that leads to more fat being carried in the belly can have long-term effects. Belly fat that lies deep within the abdominal cavity (visceral fat) is an especially unhealthy fat because it’s stored close to the organs. People with a high amount of visceral fat have a <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/j.1464-5491.2011.03503.x">higher risk</a> of stroke, type 2 diabetes and heart disease than people who hold body fat around their hips.</p> <p>The reduction in the amount of oestrogen produced by the ovaries during menopause also increases a woman’s risk of heart disease and stroke. This is because oestrogen helps keep <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2637768/">blood vessels dilated</a> – relaxed and open – to help keep cholesterol down. Without it, bad cholesterol can start to build up in the arteries.</p> <p>Lower oestrogen can also result in a loss of bone mass, putting women at <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1297264/">greater risk of osteoporosis</a> and more prone to bone fractures and breaks.</p> <h2>The bottom line: can we prevent weight gain during menopause?</h2> <p>Menopause itself does not cause weight gain; it unfortunately just occurs during a stage of life when other factors are likely to. The good news is weight gain associated with ageing is not inevitable, and there are many things women can do to avoid weight gain and health risks as they age and experience menopause.</p> <p>Start with these six steps:</p> <ol> <li> <p>incorporate daily exercise into your routine, with a mixture of intensities and variety of exercises, <a href="https://www.health.gov.au/topics/physical-activity-and-exercise/physical-activity-and-exercise-guidelines-for-all-australians">including body-strengthening exercises</a> twice a week</p> </li> <li> <p>stop dieting. Dieting drives up the weight your body will strive to return to (your “<a href="https://theconversation.com/whats-the-weight-set-point-and-why-does-it-make-it-so-hard-to-keep-weight-off-195724">set point</a>”), so you’ll end up heavier than before you began. You’ll also slow down your metabolism with each diet you follow</p> </li> <li> <p>curb your sugar cravings naturally. Every time you feel an urge to eat something sugary or fatty, reach for nature first – fruits, honey, nuts, seeds and avocado are a few suitable examples. These foods release the same feelgood chemicals in the brain as processed and fast food do, and leave us feeling full</p> </li> <li> <p>create positive habits to minimise comfort-eating. Instead of unwinding in the afternoon or evening on the couch, go for a walk, work on a hobby or try something new</p> </li> <li> <p>eat slowly and away from distractions to reduce the quantity of food consumed mindlessly. Use an oyster fork, a child’s fork or chopsticks to slow down your eating</p> </li> <li> <p>switch off your technology for a minimum of one hour before bed to improve sleep quality.</p> </li> </ol> <p><em>This article originally appeared on <a href="https://theconversation.com/is-menopause-making-me-put-on-weight-no-but-its-complicated-198308" target="_blank" rel="noopener">The Conversation</a>. </em></p> <p><em>Images: Getty</em></p>

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The 1967 referendum was the most successful in Australia’s history. But what it can tell us about 2023 is complicated

<p><em><strong>This article references antiquated language when referring to First Nations people. It also mentions names of people who may have passed away.</strong></em></p> <p>Before the end of this year, Australians <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Indigenous_Voice_to_Parliament">will vote</a> on enshrining an Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander Voice in the nation’s constitution. Referendums are famously fraught, and both <a href="https://thewest.com.au/opinion/patrick-dodson-yes-to-the-voice-referendum-will-help-make-amends-c-9436639">advocates</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/nationals-declare-they-will-oppose-the-voice-referendum-195446">detractors</a> of the Voice have drawn comparisons to the 1967 referendum, the nation’s most successful to date.</p> <p>Then, 90.77% of Australians endorsed two constitutional amendments. One removed Section 127, whereby “Aboriginal natives” were not counted when “reckoning the numbers of the people of the Commonwealth”. The second altered Section 51 (xxvi) – the race power – to allow the Commonwealth to make “special laws” concerning Aboriginal people.</p> <p>Why was this campaign so successful? Today commentators largely put it down to unanimity: there wasn’t a “no” campaign in 1967. This is one of the reasons, no doubt, but as historians often say: “it’s complicated”. Deconstructing the mythology that surrounds the vote provides a fuller answer.</p> <h2>The road to referendum</h2> <p><a href="https://www.abc.net.au/news/2017-05-26/larissa-behrendt-mythbusting-the-1967-referendum/8349858">Indigenous</a> and <a href="https://search.informit.org/doi/abs/10.3316/ielapa.200709280?download=true">settler</a> scholars have long questioned the accepted narrative around 1967. The Federal Council for the Advancement of Aborigines and Torres Strait Islanders, <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Federal_Council_for_the_Advancement_of_Aborigines_and_Torres_Strait_Islanders">founded in</a> 1958 with the purpose of fighting for constitutional change, had a big role in shaping the referendum’s meaning. The council first fought a petition campaign in 1962-3, and the vote itself, on the basis that a “yes” victory would grant citizenship rights for Indigenous people.</p> <p>This was only ever <a href="https://parlinfo.aph.gov.au/parlInfo/download/library/prspub/JTZM6/upload_binary/jtzm62.pdf;fileType=application%2Fpdf#search=%22library/prspub/JTZM6%22">partly true</a>. The same activists who led the council’s campaign, including feminist Jessie Street, communist and scientist Shirley Andrews, Quandamooka poet Oodgeroo Noonuccal (Kath Walker) and Faith Bandler, an activist of South Sea Island and Scottish-Indian heritage, had already fought for and won many of the trappings of citizenship. </p> <p><a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/1031461X.2017.1313875">Voting rights</a>, for instance, were secured federally in 1962, and in every state by 1965. And while various state acts continued to limit movement and alcohol consumption for the people under their so-called “protection”, constitutional alteration in itself would do little to change this. By giving the federal government powers to override state laws, it was hoped, pressure from within and without would lead to the end of official discrimination.</p> <h2>The ‘wind of change’</h2> <p>The long, conservative government of Robert Menzies had stone-walled moves to hold a referendum, at least partly owing to a desire to maintain Section 51 unamended. That the Commonwealth would make “special laws” for Indigenous people ran counter to the goal of assimilation. Menzies’ successor, Harold Holt, was more amenable.</p> <p>Holt’s progressive agenda – as well as supporting the referendum, he removed discriminatory provisions from the Migration Act – signalled his difference from Menzies to a changing electorate. But he and his ministers were also looking internationally. British Prime Minister Harold Macmillan’s 1960 declaration that a “<a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wind_of_Change_(speech)#:%7E:text=Macmillan%20went%20to%20Africa%20to,consciousness%20is%20a%20political%20fact.">wind of change</a>” was sweeping away racial discrimination and colonial domination had an Australian echo. </p> <p>The 1965 “<a href="https://aiatsis.gov.au/explore/1965-freedom-ride">Freedom Rides</a>” had done much to highlight continued apartheid-style practices in rural Australia. And during the Cold War, Australia’s overseas perception carried substantial weight. </p> <p>Indigenous rights activists had <a href="https://www.cambridge.org/core/books/human-rights-in-twentiethcentury-australia/11327035CBFC43692CA18A2888DC9128#fndtn-metrics">long warned</a> that Australia needed to act on issues of discrimination, with anti-colonial sentiment widespread in Asia, and the quickly growing United Nations watching. Liberal parliamentarian Billy Snedden <a href="https://www.nma.gov.au/__data/assets/pdf_file/0004/692626/cabinet-submission-660.pdf">hoped that</a>removing mention of “Aborigines” from the constitution would also “remove a possible source of misconstruction in the international field”.</p> <h2>Right wrongs, write yes!</h2> <p>While reflective of international sensitivities, the 1967 referendum was hardly a rejection of assimilation policy. Indeed, the Federal Council’s slogan of “<a href="https://books.google.com.au/books/about/Black_and_White_Together_FCAATSI.html?id=xM5yAAAAMAAJ&amp;redir_esc=y">black and white together</a>” can be read as a reflection of integrationist ideology: the goal of “Aboriginal advancement” was to live on white terms.</p> <p>The campaign materials used in support of the referendum, much of which was produced by the Federal Council and distributed via trade unions and community organisations, reflected a simple message of unity and national absolution. Perhaps the most famous leaflet of the campaign – “Right Wrongs, Write Yes!” in large lettering, alongside an image of an Indigenous child – elevated the message above politics. The wrongs of the past could be done away with at the stroke of a pen.</p> <p>The resounding victory was indeed read as a vindication of the decency of Australians. As <a href="https://search.informit.org/doi/pdf/10.3316/ielapa.8111425093?casa_token=NOqhQxHENsMAAAAA:6NxHy_KYw3FDsRsxlUcJj4j0yt0nT_nTM_UOs4xdP-OnaC8IyLm5X0wbFo3ZKbNObaJ_iAOAa80pXe8">one commentator</a> put it, "The politicians were proud, the priests popular, the promoters propitiated, the public pleased. Being party to the most overwhelming referendum victory in the history of the Commonwealth of Australia demanded self-congratulation and the bestowal of bouquets upon all."</p> <p>Current Prime Minister Anthony Albanese was <a href="https://www.9news.com.au/national/pm-says-voice-to-parliament-critics-are-attempting-to-start-culture-war/00d7b9d3-89dd-4c41-ba89-b366de90b757">channelling</a>similar sentiments earlier this month, declaring the Voice referendum offered a chance for Australians to show their “best qualities”. It would, he said, “be a national achievement in which every Australian can share”. </p> <p>1967 shows us the power that such unifying language can have, but also that unanimity can conceal inertia.</p> <h2>‘Advocated by all thinking people’</h2> <p>This sense of national duty and righting wrongs at least partly explains why opposition to the proposed changes in 1967 was muted. Adelaide’s Victor Harbour Times <a href="https://trove.nla.gov.au/newspaper/article/187330397?searchTerm=referendum">captured</a> the tenor: “a Yes vote is advocated by all thinking people”. But this opinion, much like today, was not unanimous.</p> <p>Despite the lack of a formal campaign, the West Australian newspaper ran a particularly hard “no” line. Fears of creeping Commonwealth power over “<a href="https://www.qhatlas.com.au/content/1967-referendum-%E2%80%93-state-comes-together">state rights</a>” were propounded, as was the referendum’s lack of detail. “It was a pity that this issue was not worked out in advance”, <a href="https://nla.gov.au/nla.obj-684049566/view?partId=nla.obj-684073384#page/n26/mode/1up">one article bemoaned</a>, for then “the people could have been presented with a firm, rational policy”. </p> <p>Western Australia registered the highest “no” vote of any state at the referendum, at close to 22%. This reflects at least in part this editorialising. Post-referendum <a href="https://search.informit.org/doi/pdf/10.3316/ielapa.8111425093?casa_token=NOqhQxHENsMAAAAA:6NxHy_KYw3FDsRsxlUcJj4j0yt0nT_nTM_UOs4xdP-OnaC8IyLm5X0wbFo3ZKbNObaJ_iAOAa80pXe8">analysis</a> also indicated that racist attitudes shaped voting patterns. The greater the proximity to an Aboriginal reserve or mission, the more likely a person was to vote “no”. </p> <p>That the referendum was, in the language of the West Australian, “double-barrelled” – paired with another, defeated, proposal to expand membership in the House of Representatives – does not seem to have affected the result. Even hard-right Democratic Labor Party Senator Vince Gair’s “<a href="https://archives.anu.edu.au/exhibitions/vote-yes-equality/voting-27-may-1967">No More Politicians Committee</a>” advocated for a “yes” vote on “Aboriginal rights”. Left and right understood, if for sharply differing reasons, that formal discrimination needed to end.</p> <h2>After the referendum</h2> <p>Today’s “no” campaign’s key talking point, that the Voice “lacks detail”, was made in 1967, but failed to sway many voters. A writer for the <a href="https://nla.gov.au/nla.obj-684049566/view?partId=nla.obj-684073384#page/n26/mode/1up">Bulletin magazine</a> commented that while the West Australian was </p> <blockquote> <p>right when it says there should be a policy […] the time for it is after the referendum.</p> </blockquote> <p>What mattered wasn’t the specifics, but that policy could be developed at all.</p> <p>The referendum’s aftermath also illuminates another point of difference between then and now: a lack of Indigenous opposition. Indigenous scholar Larissa Behrendt <a href="http://classic.austlii.edu.au/au/journals/AUIndigLawRw/2007/96.html">argues</a> that an “unintended consequence” of the 1967 referendum, and the hopes it raised and subsequently dashed for many Indigenous peoples, was a “more radical rights movement” led by those “disillusioned by the lack of changes that followed”. The Commonwealth was slow to use its new powers, and reticent to override powerful premiers like Queensland’s Joh Bjelke-Petersen.</p> <p>The land rights and sovereignty movements of today have their origins in this moment of radicalisation. The Referendum Council, whose 2017 <a href="https://ulurustatement.org/">Uluru Statement</a> from the Heart reads “in 1967, we were counted, [now] we seek to be heard”, represent the unifying spirit of that earlier referendum. <a href="https://www.smh.com.au/national/nsw/we-are-the-voice-sydney-invasion-day-speakers-reject-voice-to-parliament-20230126-p5cfpe.html">Indigenous critics</a> of the Voice such as Lidia Thorpe and Gary Foley, on the other hand, inherit the radical tradition it inadvertently birthed. In Foley’s words, a Voice to Parliament would be <a href="https://www.themonthly.com.au/the-politics/rachel-withers/2023/01/26/whose-voice-it-anyway">akin to</a> putting “lipstick on a pig”.</p> <blockquote class="twitter-tweet"> <p dir="ltr" lang="en">Today every First Minister in Australia signed a commitment to support the Voice to Parliament.</p> <p>The Voice will recognise Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people in our constitution, and consult on matters affecting them. <a href="https://t.co/TnAfSjwAGO">pic.twitter.com/TnAfSjwAGO</a></p> <p>— Anthony Albanese (@AlboMP) <a href="https://twitter.com/AlboMP/status/1621307323921874944?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">February 3, 2023</a></p></blockquote> <p>Does all this mean the vote will fall differently in 2023? Something Voice advocates have in their favour is that “no” supporters, while loud, appear to be in a minority. State, territory and federal leaders have <a href="https://twitter.com/AnnastaciaMP/status/1621746325766414336">unanimously</a> pledged to support the “yes” case, leaving the federal opposition isolated, while <a href="https://www.afr.com/politics/federal/indigenous-support-for-voice-at-80pc-despite-protests-by-noisy-few-20230127-p5cfwj">80% of</a>Indigenous peoples support it. </p> <p>One thing though is certain. If the 2023 referendum fails, it will at least in part be due to the shortcomings and spoiled hopes of 1967.</p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images </em></p> <p><em>This article originally appeared on <a href="https://theconversation.com/the-1967-referendum-was-the-most-successful-in-australias-history-but-what-it-can-tell-us-about-2023-is-complicated-198874" target="_blank" rel="noopener">The Conversation</a>. </em></p>

Legal

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Happy Days actor dies from Covid complications

<p>Gary Friedkin, the beloved actor who famously appeared in Happy Days and Star Wars, has died at the age of 70, with a statement revealing the cause as "complications of COVID-19".</p> <p>The accomplished actor passed away on December 2 in hospice care with his brother and sister-in-law by his side. He faced a "difficult three-and-a-half weeks in the medical intensive care unit at St. Elizabeth Youngstown Hospital, due to complications of COVID-19.”</p> <p>Tributes are now pouring in for the actor, with former Happy Days co-star Anson Williams telling The Post "Gary was a light of joy and inspiration that will be evergreen to all who see his work for generations to come. Garry Marshall once said, 'Gary makes my heart smile’."</p> <p>Friedkin, also known as "Kishka" to family friends, began his four-decade long career in Hollywood with the Chevy Chase comedy Under the Rainbow in 1981.</p> <p>Standing at 1.2 metres tall, Friedkin was a dedicated and treasured member of Little People of America. He attended many conventions and made lifelong friendships through the organisation.</p> <p>Some notable highlights from his acting days include his role as Clarence, a cook at Arnold's restaurant, on Happy Days, as well as an Ewok in Star Wars. He also appeared in many blockbusters such as Blade Runner and on TV in episodes of The Twilight Zone, The Practice and Chicago Hope.</p> <p>"While Gary may have been short of stature, he was a giant amongst his family and friends," reads his obituary.</p> <p>"His legacy will live on as stories are told and retold for years to come by all who loved him."</p> <p><em>Image: ABC</em></p>

Caring

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Meat Loaf – a complicated musical giant

<p>Ridiculed by critics and custodians of cool, Meat Loaf’s bombastic performances were loved by millions, providing the soundtrack to the lives of various generations. </p> <p>The man born Marvin Lee Aday was something of an unreliable narrator. He offered contradictory accounts in interviews of such basic details as his date of birth, real name, or why and how he came to be known as Meat Loaf. According to <a href="https://www.waterstones.com/book/to-hell-and-back/david-dalton/meat-loaf/9780753504437">his autobiography</a>, an inheritance from his mother allowed him, as a disturbed and distressed teenager, to leave the house of a violent alcoholic father to live, first in Dallas, and subsequently California.</p> <p>He was cast in the original Los Angeles productions of both Hair and The Rocky Horror Show, also appearing in the 1975 film adaptation of the latter. On auditioning for budding playwright/songwriter <a href="https://www.rollingstone.com/music/music-news/meat-loaf-remembers-jim-steinman-1160041/">Jim Steinman’s</a> More Than You Deserve musical – the title track of which would later pop up on the Dead Ringer album – Steinman identified his ideal leading man for the Bat out of Hell project.</p> <p>Record executives were less convinced. They thought that the pairing of a large sweaty singer with unorthodox musical arrangements, pitched somewhere between Phil Spector and Wagner, was a complete anomaly in the age of punk and disco. The odd pair were eventually signed by independent label Cleveland after getting Todd Rundgren onboard as a producer.</p> <p>The Texan-born singer and actor outlived his chief collaborator by less than a year. Their signing with Cleveland would be the start to a career full of hits and as many highs as there were lows.</p> <h2>Difficult success</h2> <p>Bat Out of Hell – one of the top five selling records of all-time – was released in 1977. Almost all the songs originated from a university project of Steinman’s based on Peter Pan. Unable to clear the rights with JM Barrie’s estate, Steinman recycled the material into Bat Out of Hell instead. Jukebox musicals typically rely on a pre-existing songbook but Bat out of Hell is best characterised as a cast album that had its first outing in the charts before the stage. </p> <p>Given that three of the album’s seven songs exceed eight minutes, remarkably not a moment is wasted. Epics such as <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C11MzbEcHlw&amp;ab_channel=MeatLoafVEVO">Paradise by the Dashboard Light</a> and Bat out of Hell (designed to top the 1960s hit <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pTjQgkHzbTk&amp;ab_channel=John1948Ten">Tell Laura I Love Her</a> as the ultimate motorcycle crash song) are more than guilty pleasures. They encapsulate the sensations if not perhaps the realities of being a hormonal teenager in thrall to sex, death and rock‘n’roll.</p> <p>The album sold over 10 million copies in the US, and spent over ten years on the UK charts. Meat Loaf was not, however, mentally or physically prepared for the pressures of success or large-scale touring. After losing his voice on the Bat Out of Hell tour in 1978, he had multiple nervous breakdowns and attempted suicide. Steinman lost patience, and a planned sequel to Bat was put on the backburner.</p> <p>There were occasional hits in the 1980s without Steinman (for instance <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lCHWD9HeRKY&amp;ab_channel=PeterSchulz">Modern Girl</a> and <a href="https://open.spotify.com/album/5TvUFX8blX7LAw4nMtYji4?highlight=spotify:track:0UeoAe8yipWeSNr3zfCPfx">Midnight at the Lost and Found</a>) but Meat Loaf’s star was on the wane. Despite recording one of the most successful albums of rock’s golden age, by 1983 the singer was facing the prospect of bankruptcy. </p> <p>Yet by playing smaller venues and adopting more sophisticated vocal techniques, a constant touring schedule through the latter part of the 1980s transformed Meat Loaf into one of world’s most accomplished live performers. A nearly three-hour 1988 concert recording <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z0gkNPhmn-0">from Edinburgh</a> shows why this period is considered his live peak by hardcore fans.</p> <p>It also ensured he was better prepared to reap the rewards when he and Steinman staged one of rock’s most unlikely comebacks with Bat out of Hell II in 1993, with lead-single I’d Do Anything for Love (But I Won’t do That) topping the charts in 28 countries. The 1990s marked Meat Loaf’s imperial phase, selling out arenas and enjoying celebrity, appearing in films such as Fight Club (1997) and Spice World (1999).</p> <p>Yet unlike Peter Pan, Meat Loaf wasn’t forever young, often appearing lost in the new millennium. After collapsing on stage in Newcastle in 2007, he said he wouldn’t perform in concert again. In reality, he continued touring for another decade, the musical equivalent of a veteran boxer not knowing when to hang up the gloves.</p> <p>Steinman also launched a legal action when the singer sought to go it alone with <a href="https://ultimateclassicrock.com/meat-loaf-bat-out-of-hell-iii/">Bat Out of Hell III</a> (2006). An out of court settlement effectively gave the songwriter free rein to develop a stage version of Bat out of Hell. Despite their differences, Meat Loaf took on promotional duties as Steinman’s health prevented him from undertaking for the 2017 premiere of <a href="https://www.batoutofhellmusical.com/">Bat Out of Hell the Musical</a>.</p> <p>Now that so many of rock’s founding fathers have died, my current research into rock musicals such as this and David Bowie’s Lazarus sees them as repositioning one of the major forms of cultural expression from the second half of the last century. </p> <p>Blessed with one of rock’s most distinctive voices (admirers include Axl Rose and Kurt Cobain), quality control was never Meat’s forte. At his best, however, the Loaf was a heavyweight contender, able to hold his own alongside the world’s finest performers irrespective of genre.</p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p> <p><em>This article originally appeared on <a href="https://theconversation.com/meat-loaf-a-complicated-musical-giant-175552" target="_blank" rel="noopener">The Conversation</a>. </em></p>

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Woman’s complicated revenge on ex

<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">When it comes to getting revenge on your ex, this feat takes the cake.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Fitness coach Sarah Vilard said she wanted to show her former partner what he was missing by pretending to tie the knot.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">In a video she posted on TikTok, which has since gone viral on the platform, Sarah wrote: “Remembering the time when I faked getting married and had a photoshoot to get revenge on my ex.”</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">She also shared photos from her alleged fake wedding while Gnarls Barkley’s hit song </span><span style="font-weight: 400;">Crazy</span><span style="font-weight: 400;"> played in the background.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The snaps included her and her “husband” embracing outside a manor house and one of her and a friend holding hands at her supposed wedding reception, all while wearing a strappy bridal gown.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Sarah had her hair professionally styled and paid for a make-up artist and a bunch of roses for her fake wedding bouquet.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">She captioned the clip, “Yup I’m crazy.”</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">While her methods seem questionable, Sarah shared in the comments that her ex did text her after seeing the photos and joked that she had been “obsessed” with him.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The viral video also had viewers divided on her methods.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“Girl you went too far,” one wrote. “But that’s a nice hubby, you should have kept him.”</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Another added: “I don’t hate this. Bravo!”</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">A third said, “I mean, at least you look gorgeous!”</span></p>

Relationships

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“Don’t be soft”: Inside Elton John’s complicated relationship with his father

<p>Elton John’s relationship with this father Stanley Dwight can be defined in three words, according to his new biopic <em>Rocketman</em>: “Don’t be soft.”</p> <p>The quote comes from a heartbreaking scene in the film, where a young Elton asks for a hug from his father.</p> <p>"When are you going to hug me?" asks a young Elton. "Don't be soft," replies his unforgiving father.</p> <p>The film continues to show the strained relationship between the pair as cold and unloving, with Elton’s father Stanley Dwight doubting his talents, questioning whether or not he is capable of receiving a scholarship to the Royal Academy of Music, and shaming him for practicing his scales on the piano.</p> <p>Elton has written about his complicated relationship with his father in <a rel="noopener" href="https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/elton-john-billy-elliots-dad-does-what-mine-never-could-dhrk8639bqt" target="_blank"><em>The Sunday Times</em></a>, explaining that he was “a tough and unemotional man”.</p> <p>“Hard. In the RAF. He was dismissive, disappointed and finally absent. I just wanted him to acknowledge what I’d done. But he never did,” Elton wrote for the publication.</p> <p>Elton initially thought that his father didn’t understand children, but quickly realised that wasn’t the case.</p> <p>“He left us, remarried and had another family, and by all accounts was a great dad to them. It wasn’t children. It was me,” he wrote.</p> <p>However, Elton’s half-brother Geoff Dwight said that the allegations within the film are just not true.</p> <blockquote class="twitter-tweet" data-lang="en-gb"> <p dir="ltr">Elton John accused of lying about his 'neglectful' father in movie <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/Rocketman?src=hash&amp;ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#Rocketman</a> <a href="https://t.co/mB5HxBmOBl">https://t.co/mB5HxBmOBl</a> <a href="https://t.co/2QyNDEAgVB">pic.twitter.com/2QyNDEAgVB</a></p> — Mirror Celeb (@MirrorCeleb) <a href="https://twitter.com/MirrorCeleb/status/1135105093903278080?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">2 June 2019</a></blockquote> <p>“That's not the Dad I remember,” said Geoff, one of Stanley's four younger sons by his second marriage to <a rel="noopener" href="https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7094579/Elton-Johns-father-proud-brother-reveals-accuses-singer-betrayal-new-film.html" target="_blank"><em>The Daily Mail</em></a>. </p> <p>“Dad had a big heart and he loved us all equally. He was incredibly proud of Elton and everything that he achieved.”</p> <p>Geoff has lived a quiet life, but due to the popularity of the film, has felt the urge to speak out against the allegations of his late father.</p> <p>“This coldness, it's a million miles away from what Dad was like,” he said.</p> <p>“He was a product of a time when men didn't go around hugging each other and showing their feelings every minute of every day, but he had plenty of love in him for all of us.”</p> <p>Geoff then goes on to refute the opening scene of<span> </span><em>Rocketman</em>, where Stanley comes home from a lengthy posting overseas and demands dinner instead of reuniting with his son.</p> <p>“I just cannot believe that,” exclaimed Geoff.</p> <p>“Dad was the one who registered Elton's birth. He was there when Elton was born and he did not stop caring.”</p> <p>Geoff also dismissed the claim that Stanley was unsupportive of Elton’s musical talents.</p> <p>“Dad encouraged all of us to be musical. He was in a swing band himself, so I see no reason why he'd have thwarted Elton.</p> <p>“I was hopeless on the piano, so Dad left a guitar and a trumpet out for me with a few teach-yourself books. That doesn't sound like a man who discourages his kids.”</p> <p><em>Rocketman</em><span> </span>is in cinemas now.</p>

Music

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Inside Princess Diana’s complicated relationship with her mother

<p>It’s no secret that Princess Diana and her mother had a complicated relationship.</p> <p>It is said that Diana’s relationships with different men after her marriage with Prince Charles ended, is the reason behind the feud with her mother Frances Shand Kydd.</p> <p>Diana was famously linked to many high profile men, including heart surgeon Hasnat Khan, businessman Gulu Lalvani and son of Egyptian billionaire Dodi Fayed.</p> <p>But after discovering details about one relationship in particular, Frances had decided to unleash on the late Princess.</p> <p>Speaking to <a rel="noopener" href="https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/princess-dianas-explosive-feud-mum-13090276" target="_blank"><em>The Mirror</em></a>, Diana’s former butler Paul Burrell recounted what happened the day an emotional Diana was on the receiving end of an abusive phone call from her mother.</p> <p>“I heard her call, ‘Paul come quick’,” he said.</p> <p>“She waved me over with her hand. I joined her on the floor cross-legged and stuck close beside her. I leant my ear as near to the phone as possible and listened to the conversation – albeit one-way.</p> <p>“It was the slurring voice of Ms Frances Shand Kydd. What I heard was a torrent of abuse, swearing and upsetting innuendo towards the Princess and towards the male company she was keeping.</p> <p>“It was a hate-filled personal attack on the men and their religious beliefs.”</p> <p>The exact words that were said were revealed in a documentary Burrell was featured in.</p> <p>“[She said] you’re nothing but a prostitute and a whore, that’s what I’ve brought up, a prostitute,” Burrell shared.</p> <p>Diana then reportedly told him: “Paul, I’ll never speak to my mother again as long as I live.”</p> <p>Prior to Diana’s tragic death, Frances had a few things to say to <a rel="noopener" href="https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/1463517/Obituary-Frances-Shand-Kydd.html" target="_blank"><em>Hello! Magazine</em></a>.</p> <p>Speaking on the topic of Diana’s divorce and her battle with bulimia, Frances said it was “absolutely wonderful” that the late royal had lost her HRH title.</p> <p>Her interview haunted Diana and according to Burrell, Diana never spoke to her mother again.</p>

Relationships

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Inside the Queen’s complicated relationships with her children

<p>While Queen Elizabeth II is known for her position as the Queen of England and the Head of the Commonwealth to the world, to her four children she is also known as ‘mum’.</p> <p>Understandably, balancing her duties as both a reigning monarch and a parent hasn’t come without complications.</p> <p>Here’s a look into the varied relationships with her three sons and daughter.</p> <p><strong style="font-style: inherit;">Prince Charles, Prince of Wales</strong></p> <p>Prince Philip and the Queen’s eldest son was born on November 14, 1948. Although Elizabeth was not yet Queen when Charles was born, she was often away fulfilling her public duties when he was young, according to <em style="font-weight: inherit;">Vanity Fair</em>. When Her Royal Highness was coronated in 1953, her schedule became even busier. Royal biographer and author of <em style="font-weight: inherit;">Prince Charles: The Passions and Paradoxes of an Improbable Life</em>, Sally Bedell Smith, wrote that the Queen “depended on the nannies to supervise the daily lives" of her young kids.</p> <p>Charles’ relationship with his mother became tense after she found out that he was having an affair with Camilla Parker Bowles after marrying Princess Diana in 1981.</p> <p>Reportedly, the Queen became so upset by the revelation that she allegedly shouted that she wanted "nothing to do with that wicked woman." </p> <p>For years after, many speculated that their relationship had not been repaired and that tensions still lingered after she sent him to St. James and missed his 50th birthday celebrations.</p> <p>However, over time the pair rebuilt their bond and she forgave him. Charles received his mother’s approval when he went on to marry Camilla in 2005. Now, the mother and son are regularly photographed together enjoying each other’s company and in April 2018, she declared that it was her “sincere wish” that Charles be the future Head of the Commonwealth.</p> <p><strong style="font-style: inherit;">Princess Anne, Princess Royal</strong></p> <p>Princess Anne was born two years after Charles on August 15. Anne is the Queen’s only daughter and formed a close relationship with her mother during her teenage years. During an interview with the <em style="font-weight: inherit;">BBC</em>, Anne admitted that her mother had “limitations” because of her demanding schedule, however, she said she always knew her mother loved her.</p> <p>"We as children may have not been too demanding in the sense that we understand what the limitations were in time and the responsibilities placed on her as monarch in the things she had to do and the travels she had to make,” she said.</p> <p>"But I don't believe any of us for a second thought she didn't care for us in exactly the same way as any other mother did.</p> <p>"I just think it extraordinary that anybody could construe that that might not be true."</p> <p>Anne, who shares her mother’s same passion for horses, also inherited her work ethic, with Anne consistently listed as one of the royals who perform the most official engagements each year.</p> <p><strong style="font-style: inherit;">Prince Andrew, Duke of York</strong></p> <p>Ten years after Anne was born, the Queen had another son in 1960. Royal historian Robert Lacy said that by the time the Duke of York was born, the Queen was “warmer and flexible”.  Reportedly, the Queen spent more time with her children during this period and lessened her public duties.</p> <p>Although Prince Andrew’s ex-wife Sarah Ferguson created various scandals in the royal family, it is believed that she never criticised him for her actions. A royal insider told the <em style="font-weight: inherit;">Daily Mail </em>that Andrew is placed on a pedestal by his mother.</p> <p><strong style="font-style: inherit;">Prince Edward, Earl of Wessex</strong></p> <p>The youngest of Queen Elizabeth and Prince Philip’s children, Prince Edward, was born on March 10, 1964. Just like Andrew, Edward received a lot more time with his mother in his younger years as she had settled into her role as monarch. It is widely believed that the Earl of Wessex is the favourite child for both the Queen and Prince Philip. Reportedly, Edward’s portrait is the only one that hangs in Prince Philip’s study.</p> <p>The Queen also has a close relationship with Edward’s wife, Sophie, the Countess of Wessex.</p> <p>"She is like another daughter to Her Majesty, they are that close," a royal insider told the <em style="font-weight: inherit;"><a href="http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3381564/How-Sophie-Wessex-risen-Queen-s-favourite-law-leading-chilly-relations-Kate.html"><strong style="font-style: inherit;">Daily Mail</strong></a></em>.</p> <p>Now, Edward carries out the royal engagements that used to belong to his father and it is believed that he will take on the Duke of Edinburgh title when Philip passes away.</p> <p>"Edward has moulded into a quiet and efficient figure who does not seek attention or acquire headlines," another insider revealed to <em style="font-weight: inherit;"><a href="https://www.express.co.uk/news/royal/801552/PRINCE-Edward-and-wife-Sophie-to-takeover-Prince-Philip"><strong style="font-style: inherit;">Express</strong></a></em>. </p>

Relationships

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Wolf Creek star John Jarratt’s complicated love life revealed

<p>Wolf Creek star John Jarratt has confused KIIS FM's Kyle and Jackie O while answering a question about his love life.</p> <p>“Is it true you've been married three times?” Kyle Sandilands asked the 65-year-old actor.</p> <p>His response, however, left them baffled.</p> <p>“No, four,” he said, “I'm married to my first wife... she's also my fourth wife.”</p> <p>However, the radio duo finally clocked on to what Jarratt meant, with Kyle finally exclaiming: “Ohh, so you fell back in love with the first wife?”</p> <p>“I never fell out of love with her...” John replied.</p> <p>“Well then where... why?” Jackie O Henderson followed up.</p> <p>The actor interjected: “[I didn't fall out of love with her] She fell out of love with me.”</p> <p><img width="428" height="639" src="http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2017/12/07/03/47106E5600000578-5154197-image-a-23_1512617042293.jpg" alt="'I never fell out of love': 'Ohh, so you fell back in love with the first wife?' Kyle asked. 'I never fell out of love with her...' John replied (pictured here with first and fourth/current wife Rosa Miano)" class="blkBorder img-share b-loaded" style="display: block; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" id="i-bf7fee8c5ce21829"/></p> <p style="text-align: center;"><em>After 27 years of separation, John Jarratt rekindled his relationship with his first ex-wife Rosa and remarried earlier in the year. </em></p> <p>The co-host wondered how the pair managed to rekindle their relationship 27 years after they separated.</p> <p>“But when did she fall back in love?” Jackie asked, “How did you repair that after all these years?”</p> <p>“Well, we got back together when she had a bit of a health scare... we were platonic friends by that stage, and I helped her out,” Jarrett responded.</p> <p>“And she was single and I was single and I thought, well, okay... so I took a hand in it [helping her out and trying to rekindle] and it worked out.”</p> <p>“And is she the love of your life, after all the loves you've had?” Kyle asked.</p> <p>“She's the love of my life, yeah,” he said with a smile.</p> <p>John first married Rosa in the late 80s, before the pair eventually split. He went on to marry Noni Hazelhurst, and then Cody Jarrett.</p> <p>John and Rosa remarried earlier this year. </p>

Relationships

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Are insurance product disclosure statements too complicated?

<p>At times, insurance disclosure statement fine print seems about as decipherable as hieroglyphics.</p> <p>But hopefully, this is going to change before too long. In a review of product disclosure statements, an Insurance Council of Australia (ICA) taskforce has recommended insurance companies explore new forces of communication with consumers who are often getting caught out by the complexity and technical jargon in product disclosure statements that they can’t understand or ignore.</p> <p>The taskforce worked on the recommendation of the Australian government’s Financial Systems Inquiry and is made up of representatives from the insurance industry as well as veteran insurance lawyer who is the chair of the inquiry. Mr Whelan pulls no punches when he describes the importance of the inquiry and its work, “Product disclosure statements have become so focused on complying with financial regulations and limiting an insurer's liability that their value to customers has been greatly diminished. If consumers don't understand the policies they're buying, it can result in major financial losses, angry customers and possible reputational damage for the insurer – everyone loses.”</p> <p>The recommendations for the industry are wide and far reaching. The taskforce recommends everything from new forms of electronic disclosure and target information for individual customers, as well as asking the government to create a “central portal” for natural hazard data as a means of helping consumers figure out their insurance needs should a natural disaster strike.</p> <p>Another startling finding from the ICA is that there is a distinct lack of evidence as to how PDS documents are influencing customer’s decision making, and this is providing a barrier towards proper disclosure. As a part of their review, they industry body is looking at the best ways they can revamp current disclosure systems for important product disclosure information.</p> <p>Mr Whelan says, “A substantial consumer research program will ensure the industry avoids spending time and money implementing product disclosure innovations that are ineffective or even detrimental to consumers. The ICA would also like to see the Australian Securities and Investments Commission rethink its guidance on the ability of insurers to give advice over the telephone to customers," he said. "Clearer, simpler, more effective product disclosure that closes the knowledge gap between insurers and their customers is a vital part of the solution.”</p> <p>All in all while some of these findings are particularly startling, it is comforting to know that the decision makers are aware of this and are making efforts to rectify the problems.</p> <p><strong>Related links:</strong></p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em><a href="http://www.oversixty.co.nz/finance/insurance/2016/01/guide-to-insuring-jewellery/"><strong>Our simple guide to insuring jewellery</strong></a></em></span></p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em><a href="http://www.oversixty.co.nz/finance/insurance/2016/01/unnecessary-types-of-insurance/"><strong>The types of insurance that aren’t worth your while</strong></a></em></span></p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em><a href="http://www.oversixty.co.nz/finance/insurance/2015/12/health-insurance-a-long-term-relationship/"><strong>Personal finance: Health insurance a long-term relationship</strong></a></em></span></p>

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