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Charlise Mutten's mum breaks silence

<p>Kallista Mutten, the mother of murdered schoolgirl Charlise Mutten, has broken her silence in her first ever television interview. </p> <p>Nine-year-old Charlise was brutally murdered by her mother's then fiancée Justin Stein at his family home in the Blue Mountains, Sydney in January 2022. </p> <p>In August, Stein was sentenced to life in jail without parole, after he was <a href="https://oversixty.com.au/finance/legal/jury-decides-fate-of-accused-murderer-justin-stein" target="_blank" rel="noopener">found guilty</a> of Charlise's murder, having shot the little girl twice before dumping her body in a barrel. </p> <p>Since Charlise's murder, Kallista had been harassed in public and abused by people on public transport to the extent she could no longer go outside. </p> <p>In an upcoming interview for <em>60 Minutes</em> that will air this Sunday night, Kallista broke her silence. </p> <p>"I'm not this monster, this unfit mother," she told reporter Dimity Clancey in a newly released preview. </p> <p>"Charlise deserved more."</p> <p>"I miss her so much, she believed in me," she continued through tears. </p> <p>Many have blamed her for the horrific murder that happened while Charlise was in her care. At the time, Charlise was visiting her mum and Stein in Sydney for Christmas from the Gold, where she lived with her grandparents. </p> <p>She spent the night of January 11 alone with Stein at his property in the Blue Mountains, while her mother stayed at a caravan about a 90-minute drive away. </p> <p>"I hate myself for it, I really do," Kallista said. </p> <p>The preview also showed footage of an agitated Stein pacing around the police interview room, while blaming Charlise's mum for the murder. </p> <p>"It was all her. I can't sit here and cover for her," he said. </p> <p>Kallista denied having any involvement in her daughter's death and broke down in tears during a hearing, where she read a victim's impact statement via audio video link. </p> <p>"(Charlise) just longed for you to be her dad. I just hate myself for being so wrong about you," she said at the time. </p> <p>"I am forced to live with fact I trusted someone and because of my trust I put my daughter in harm's way."</p> <p>In the <em>60 Minutes</em> preview, a police detective said that Stein "weaved a web of wicked lies and deception", with Kallista describing her former partner as "pure evil". </p> <p><em>Images: Nine</em></p>

Family & Pets

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Fergie's touching tribute to late mum who died in "cruel accident"

<p>Sarah Ferguson has reflected on her mother's death 26 years on. </p> <p>The Duchess of York took to Instagram to share the emotional tribute to her mother, Susan Barrantes, who died "far too young" in a car crash almost three decades ago. </p> <p>"My much-loved mother Susie died 26 years ago today," she began. </p> <p>The royal shared a series of photos of her mother, including one of them on the iconic Buckingham Palace balcony, after Fergie married Prince Andrew in 1986. </p> <p>She also posted framed photos she kept of her mother as well as professional photos that were taken when she was younger. </p> <p>"She was far too young to be taken from us and I often reflect on the fact that at just 61, she was younger than I am now when she died in a cruel accident," Ferguson continued.</p> <p>"I think constantly of her zest for life and her shining spirit. Like all of us, she made mistakes but she taught me to value each and every day and to always seek to treat people with kindness."</p> <p>She ended her post saying: "I miss her greatly."</p> <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/DAGEaHBO_ii/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/DAGEaHBO_ii/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by Sarah Ferguson (Fergie) (@sarahferguson15)</a></p> </div> </blockquote> <p>Ferguson's daughter, Princess Eugenie, reposted the images to her Instagram story, with her own message. </p> <p>"Miss beautiful Granny Susie," she wrote. </p> <p>The Duchess of York's post was met with messages of love from fans and celebrities alike. </p> <p> "So beautiful," wrote Riley Keough, Lisa Marie Presley's daughter. </p> <p>Actor William Moseley, who starred in <em>The Royals</em> television series left three red heart emojis. </p> <p>"I lost my mother seven years ago, I miss her each and every day. Sending love," wrote one fan. </p> <p>"She is incredibly proud of you, and now it’s clear where you get your kindness from. Sending continued prayers and strength your way," added another. </p> <p>Barrantes, who was a documentary filmmaker, died in a car accident in 1998. Her death came one year after Princess Diana's tragic car crash. </p> <p><em>Images: Instagram</em></p> <p> </p>

Family & Pets

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Aussie mum with no licence or car fined thousands for traffic offences

<p>An Aussie mum has copped thousands of dollars worth of traffic fines, despite not owning a car or holding a valid driver's licence. </p> <p>Victorian woman Tamara, 32, claims that she has received 16 different infringement notices this year alone in relation to 14 different licence plate numbers, and none of them are hers. </p> <p>The incorrect fines have been sent to her from as far back as 2022. </p> <p>Several of the alleged offences captured on road safety cameras show bearded men behind the wheel. </p> <p>"Clearly, I don't have a beard. The person in the picture is a male. Anyone with eyes can see it's not me," she told A Current Affair. </p> <p>The saga has badly impacted her mental health and she has called on both the police and road officials in the state to overhaul the system to prevent other people from ending up in the same situation as her. </p> <p>The mum fears that her identity or her expired licence number may have been compromised during Optus' mass data breach two years ago.</p> <p>"I am not the driver. I don't drive a vehicle, I don't even have a licence. I have no idea what to think actually because it is unexplainable."</p> <p>"It doesn't make any sense and it shouldn't make any sense in anyone's eyes. It doesn't add up and it's clearly fraudulent."</p> <p>Lawyer Justin Lawrence agrees with the 32-year-old and said that she is entitled to challenge the fines. </p> <p>"There is a system glitch there somewhere and she's entitled to challenge those fines. The system relies on the information that it has. If the information is inaccurate, then the system can't work," he said.</p> <p>Tamara has made a formal complaint to Victoria Police in a bid to clear her name, and they are now working with Fines Victoria to "investigate the circumstances around these incidents and resolve these matters". </p> <p>"Members of the public who believe they have been falsely nominated for a traffic infringement should contact Fines Victoria," a statement from the police read. </p> <p><em>Images: A Current Affair/ Nine</em></p>

Legal

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The gift of a lifetime: How one busy mum found peace of mind and left a lasting legacy

<p>Anita lives in Sydney with her husband and three sons. She recently chose to include a gift to Lifeline Australia when writing her Will with an online Will-writing service called <a href="https://www.gatheredhere.com.au/c/lifeline-au?gh_cuid=Oxs_YC7byb&gh_cch=%40campaign%2Fchannel%2Fnews" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Gathered Here</span></a>.</p> <p>“My Will has been in the making for the last five years and it has always been pushed down on the prioritisation list due to the high cost of seeing a solicitor and us being a very busy family with young kids,” says Anita.</p> <p>“When I found out about Gathered Here, I thought I may as well check it out, and after 10 minutes I had a Will! The process was simple and straightforward without any complicated legal jargon to cut through.</p> <p>“Within the Will-writing process, summarising my wishes was an important and practical step for me. I want to ease the situation for my loved ones I leave behind by providing emotional and financial certainty in a time of confusion and grief.</p> <p>“There is also an opportunity to nominate and leave gifts to my favourite charities. I have three young boys and having some insight into the mental health challenges in Australia made my decision of allocating a portion of my estate to Lifeline Australia very easy.</p> <p>“Seeing an organisation like Lifeline continuously dedicate their effort, time and professionalism at the highest level to ensure that no one is ever alone in crisis provides me with hope of a better world for my children.”</p> <p>Lifeline is a national charity providing people in Australia experiencing emotional distress with access to 24-hour crisis support and suicide prevention services.</p> <p>Tragically, over 3,000 people in Australia lose their lives to suicide every year. This year, Lifeline will receive well over 1 million contacts from people in crisis. Every 30 seconds, someone in Australia reaches out to Lifeline.</p> <p>Lifeline exists to ensure that no person in Australia has to face their toughest moments alone, and believes that through connection, hope can be found.</p> <p>Lifeline Australia has partnered with Gathered Here to offer you the opportunity to <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><a href="https://www.gatheredhere.com.au/c/lifeline-au?gh_cuid=Oxs_YC7byb&gh_cch=%40campaign%2Fchannel%2Fnews" target="_blank" rel="noopener">write your Will online for free</a></span> this Include a Charity Week, which runs from the 2nd – 8th September and is dedicated to raising awareness of how anyone can make a lasting impact to causes that they care about with a gift in their Will. You’ll also be able to make free and unlimited changes to your Will for life.</p> <p>Gathered Here provides end-of-life services through probate, funerals and online Wills. They are supported by an in-house legal team of highly experienced Wills and estate lawyers who have reviewed and vetted the Will writing process.</p> <p>Gathered Here's online Will-writing service allows you to appoint guardians for your children and pets, set out how you want to divide your estate and leave gifts to charities that mean the most to you - like Lifeline.</p> <p>After you've provided for those closest to you, <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><a href="https://www.gatheredhere.com.au/c/lifeline-au?gh_cuid=Oxs_YC7byb&gh_cch=%40campaign%2Fchannel%2Fnews" target="_blank" rel="noopener">leaving a gift to Lifeline Australia is a lasting and meaningful way that you can have an impact for years to come</a></span>. You will be helping to prevent suicide and save lives in future generations.</p> <p>Gifts in Wills make a phenomenal difference to charities, including Lifeline. This is why a growing number of people understand that once they have provided for their loved ones, leaving a gift in their Will is one of the most powerful ways they can support Lifeline, without incurring any financial costs during their lifetime.</p> <p>If you would like to learn more, please do not hesitate to get in touch with Lifeline Australia’s Gifts in Wills Specialist Abi Steiner via email at <a href="mailto:giftsinwills@lifeline.org.au" target="_blank" rel="noopener">giftsinwills@lifeline.org.<span style="text-decoration: underline;">au</span></a> or phone on 02 8099 1974.</p> <p>If you, or someone you know, are feeling distressed or overwhelmed, we encourage you to connect with Lifeline in the way you feel most comfortable. For 24/7 crisis support, you can phone Lifeline to speak to a Crisis Supporter on 13 11 14, text 0477 131 114, chat to Lifeline online or access the Support Toolkit to self-manage what you’re going through at <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><a href="http://www.lifeline.org.au/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">www.lifeline.org.au</a></span>.</p> <p><em>This is a sponsored article produced in partnership with Lifeline Australia.</em></p> <p><em>Image: Lifeline Australia</em></p>

Money & Banking

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New mum admits she hates her baby’s name

<p dir="ltr">A woman has asked for advice after admitting that she hates her new baby’s name and “can’t stand to say it out loud”.</p> <p dir="ltr">The new mum took to Reddit to explain that she had given birth to a baby boy a month ago, and had been discussing potential names for her son with her boyfriend since she fell pregnant. </p> <p dir="ltr">The mother explained that her partner “immediately bombarded” her with names “that he would name” their son, and many of them were family monikers.</p> <p dir="ltr">She said that her boyfriend was keen to name the baby after either his grandfather or great-grandfather, whose names were Oliver and Chad.</p> <p dir="ltr">“I HATE the name Chad,” she said. “We know a couple of Chads and they are not great people. I also don’t love the name Oliver but I’d rather that than Chad.”</p> <p dir="ltr">The woman explained her partner was “very sentimental when it comes to anything in his life that has to do with his family”, while she was “not that sentimental”.</p> <p dir="ltr">“He was adamant on the name Chad because it belonged to his dad’s grandpa, whom his dad never met due to him passing away in the war,” she said.</p> <p dir="ltr">“I asked him to compromise and make Chad the middle name ‘cause I’d rather the name Oliver, his response was ‘maybe’ but in a tone that meant ‘no.’”</p> <p dir="ltr">The woman went on to explain that she and her partner reached a stalemate in the name discussion and it wasn’t brought up again until their son was born. </p> <p dir="ltr">The new mother said the couple planned on “waiting until she was relaxed and situated before they signed the birth certificate”, but when she went to sign it, she saw his name had been written as ‘Chad Beau Smith’ by her boyfriend. </p> <p dir="ltr">“I had had no say in the name whatsoever, my partner had seen me bare-down and drugged up, going through the hardest experience of my life and gave me no say in what we name our son,” she said.</p> <p dir="ltr">The woman was shocked and ended up arguing with her husband for about an hour or so but was so exhausted from the birth, she gave up and said “fine you win”.</p> <p dir="ltr">“My boyfriend then smirked as he handed the birth certificate in. I was too tired to fight anymore. I felt like I just needed to focus on taking care of my new baby,” she said.</p> <p dir="ltr">The mum said she has been avoiding saying his name and also hadn’t posted anything to social media because she “just hates the name”.</p> <p dir="ltr">“I also now feel like I am disconnecting from my relationship with my partner because after all he watched me go through, I feel that I don’t matter,” she said.</p> <p dir="ltr">“Am I overreacting?” she asked on Reddit.</p> <p dir="ltr">The woman’s post quickly went viral on the platform, with people quick to side with the new mum. </p> <p dir="ltr">“Your boyfriend is a bully, and he sucks. Names are a two yes, one no situation. He took advantage of you, and kept calling your little boy by his middle name. I’m enraged for you.” said one.</p> <p dir="ltr">“Why are you with this person?” asked another.</p> <p dir="ltr">“Have his name legally changed. Leave your husband. This is abuse,” said a third.</p> <p dir="ltr">“This guy has no respect for you, you’re not overreacting, you’re under-reacting,” added another.</p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Image credits: Shutterstock </em></p>

Family & Pets

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Chilling videos emerge from mum accused of murdering schoolgirl

<p><em><strong>Warning: This article contains distressing content that some readers may find upsetting. </strong></em></p> <p>Chilling videos have emerged from the mother accused of killing her 10-year-old daughter, Sophie Wang. </p> <p>Yingying Xu, who was named in court on Wednesday, posted a series of videos to TikTok before she allegedly murdered her daughter. </p> <p>“I want to let everyone know that the situation you see is fake. Fake god, the antichrist is a fake god,” Xu, 46, said while speaking in Mandarin.</p> <p>“I have felt the devil Satan saying to me how he has been influencing me, disturbing my soul.</p> <p>“Eventually possessing me 100 per cent. Possessing my soul to do evil things.”</p> <p>The videos were posted earlier in the day on Tuesday, and the little girl's body was found by her father, Yun Wang, later that evening.</p> <p>Sophie is alleged to have suffered several<a href="https://www.oversixty.com.au/finance/legal/schoolgirl-identified-after-allegedly-being-murdered-by-mother" target="_blank" rel="noopener"> injuries</a>, and was  allegedly killed by having her throat slashed in her Carrara home.</p> <p>Her father, who is an associate professor at Griffith University, could reportedly be heard screaming by neighbours after discovering her body. </p> <p>Paramedics attempted to revive the girl, but she was declared dead at the “incredibly confronting” scene.</p> <p>Xu was arrested in a nearby street hours later and charged with murder.</p> <p>“This is absolutely sickening, gut-wrenching, awful,” Queensland Premier Steven Miles said.</p> <p>“I just can’t imagine how that father felt and hearing the reports of him screaming - nobody would ever wish that on him.”</p> <p>Her mother was formally remanded in custody until she appears in court again on November 29. </p> <p>The family's home remains a crime scene, but flowers have been left outside the home, as the local community try to come to terms with the horrific news. </p> <p>Police are continuing to investigate the motive of the alleged murder, and are taking into account Xu's social media activity. </p> <p>“Police are continuing to investigate the motive of the alleged homicide, including social media activity of the accused,” police told <em>7News</em>.</p> <p>Sophie has been remembered as a caring, kind and high-achieving Year 5 student, with the local community honouring her memory in an hour-long vigil on Friday at The Boulevard in Emerald Lakes.</p> <p>Sophie’s school, Emmanuel College, is also offering counselling to students, staff and parents.</p> <p>“Our prayers are with the family, friends, first responders and all affected by the loss of this beloved child in her home,” the school said in a statement.</p> <p><em>Images: Emmanuel College /TikTok</em></p>

Legal

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Australia rallies behind grieving mum after Carlton train tragedy

<p>Australians have rallied together to raise money for the wife of a hero father who died along with his daughter after they were <a href="https://www.oversixty.com.au/health/caring/father-remembered-for-instinctive-act-of-bravery-before-train-tragedy" target="_blank" rel="noopener">tragically struck</a> by a train. </p> <p>Anand Runwal, 40, and his two-year-old daughter were killed at Sydney's Carlton train station on July 21 after a pram carrying the twin girls fell onto the train tracks. </p> <p>One of the twins miraculously survived and was rescued by police who crawled under the train when they heard her crying. </p> <p>Now, nearly $140,000 has been raised for his wife, Poonam, who reportedly flew back to India to be with family and bury her husband, according to the <em>Daily Mail</em>. </p> <p>“In the face of this unimaginable loss and grief, we come together as family, friends and colleagues to support the family of Anand Runwal, a hero who sacrificed everything to try and save his twin daughters during the Carlton Train Station tragedy,” the fundraiser read.</p> <p>“Anand was a calm, humble and friendly person who was liked by everyone he associated with.</p> <p>“Let’s surround the Runwal family with love, kindness, and generosity. Every donation, share, and message of support brings comfort and hope to those affected by this tragedy.”</p> <p>The fundraiser has exceeded its initial goal of $20,000 and has now been closed. </p> <p>Nadeen Ahmed, who runs the <em>Indians in Sydney</em> Facebook group has shared Poonam's reaction to the generosity of everyone who donated. </p> <p>“They initially wanted to raise $20,000 to help her with her immediate expenses but they were overwhelmed by the response and people’s generosity,” Ahmed told the<em> Daily Mail</em>.</p> <p>"They ended up raising almost $140,000 in just a couple of days, which they never expected.</p> <p>"They raised so much they decided to close the fundraiser and that money has now all been transferred to Mrs Runwal," she continued.</p> <p>“It’s a very hard situation for her, knowing what to do. She’s heading back to India to be with family because it is going to take months and months for her to deal with this tragedy.”</p> <p>NSW Police Superintendent Paul Dunstan was one of many who praised Runwal’s "brave and heroic" act. </p> <p>NSW Premier Chris Minns, who lives close to the station, also praised the father's "instinctive act of bravery", adding “that’s not going to bring him or his little daughter back, but it shouldn’t go unremarked upon in the face of a terrible, terrible accident.</p> <p>“He gave his life to try and save his children.”</p> <p><em>Images: Facebook</em></p>

Caring

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Robert Irwin hits back over nasty reports about mum

<p>Robert Irwin has hit back at the nasty comments about his close relationship with mum Terri Irwin. </p> <p>The wildlife conservationist appeared with<em> I’m A Celebrity...</em>  co-star Julia Morris on <em>The Kyle & Jackie O</em> show on Monday morning to discuss their Gold Logie nominations, when Kyle Sandilands expressed his surprise that Terri didn't join Robert in the studio for the interview. </p> <p>“Are you saying that the press reports are inaccurate that everywhere you go, your mother’s there?” Sandilands asked. </p> <p>“I hear it all the time but I don’t believe it’s even true.”</p> <p>Robert laughed and jokingly responded: “Who would’ve thought press reports are inaccurate?” </p> <p>But, co-host Julia Morris was quick to come to his defence. </p> <p>“Can I just address that because it drives me absolutely nuts,” she said on-air.</p> <p>“It takes all my strength not to go onto the internet and go absolutely spare every time [Robert and Terri headlines are] written. All I want you to do is every time you see that written that, you know, ‘Terri hangs around’, I want you to go directly to who’s written that story and know that that person hates their parents.”</p> <p>“If you’ve got parents that are as unbelievably awesome as Terri, and you have a great relationship, you want them to be around at all times,” she added.</p> <p>“If you’re trying to hide stuff from your parents, or your parents are constantly badgering or at you, then you don’t want them around and you can’t get why anyone would want their parents around, you know?” she concluded. </p> <p>Robert then chimed in and explained that people often don't understand his close relationship with his mother, and how they became especially tight as a family following Steve Irwin's death in 2006. </p> <p>“I think loss brings a family together like nothing else. People forget,” he said.</p> <p>“I think when we lost dad, our little tight knit family unit became incredibly tight.”</p> <p>“And we travel with the whole family everywhere most of the time. It’s nice.”</p> <p>This comes after a few <a href="https://www.oversixty.com.au/travel/international-travel/every-day-is-precious-fans-defend-robert-irwin-over-posts-with-mum" target="_blank" rel="noopener">trolls</a> criticised his close relationship to his mother during a trip to the US back in May. </p> <p>A few outlets have also suggested that the mother and son are unhealthily attached, but many fans have since defended their close relationship. </p> <p>“People saying why Robert has he’s mum in so many photos. Remember every day is precious. Life is fragile. The Irwin’s like millions of other families have experienced loss on a monumental scale,” one wrote on Instagram. </p> <p><em>Image: The Kyle and Jackie O Show</em></p>

Family & Pets

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Savvy mum shares her unique packing hacks

<p dir="ltr">A savvy mother and experienced traveller has shared her ultimate hacks for packing your suitcase when heading on your next holiday. </p> <p dir="ltr">Melbourne mum Chantel Ibbotson, who goes by the name Mama Mila online, shared the helpful hacks with her 2.8 million followers, with many people praising her ingenuity.</p> <p dir="ltr">Her go-to tips ranged from keeping your luggage smelling fresh, utilising your space, and how to prevent breakages. </p> <p dir="ltr">One tip Chantel shared, that has been labelled a “game changer”, involves placing necklaces through a straw to prevent them from tangling. </p> <p dir="ltr">One follower commented on the video saying, “I used your straw tip for necklaces last time I travelled and it was awesome.”</p> <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/reel/C81L4KYSeAA/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/reel/C81L4KYSeAA/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by Chantel Mila Ibbotson (@mama_mila_au)</a></p> </div> </blockquote> <p dir="ltr">The mum-of-two also showed her followers how a simple button can be used to keep pairs of earrings together by fastening each earring through one hole in the button.</p> <p dir="ltr">Chantel also recommended hanging packing cubes that can be purchased online as a great solution for “making packing and unpacking so quick and easy”.</p> <p dir="ltr">The influencer also suggested spraying perfume on cotton pads to keep your suitcase smelling fresh, as well as placing cotton pads in makeup compacts to prevent breakage.</p> <p dir="ltr">Another tip was to pack a separate bag, whether it's a plastic bag or a dust bag, to hold your dirty laundry. </p> <p dir="ltr">This tip allows travellers to easily find clean clothes while also keeping dirty, smellier clothes separate in their own bag.</p> <p dir="ltr">The video racked up thousands of views, with many saying they will try out the unique tips next time they travel. </p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Image credits: Shutterstock </em></p>

Travel Tips

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"Meant to be": Magical moment mum finds lost ring 15 years later

<p>Some stories are so unbelievable that it seems like divine intervention played a part in making them happen.</p> <p>Samantha was only eight or nine years old when she lost a ring that her parents gave her for Christmas, only to miraculously find it 15 years later. </p> <p>She recalled the remarkable story of her lost ring on <em>Nova 96.9's Fitzy & Wippa with Kate Ritchie</em>. </p> <p>"So when I was about eight or nine, it was Christmas time, and we were holidaying up at Umina Beach Caravan Park," Samantha began.</p> <p>"I was in the surf, and my mum and dad had bought me this beautiful little first diamond ring for Christmas, and I was sort of in the waves up to sort of my knees, and I thought, Oh, I better take my ring off and put it around my necklace, because if I get dumped or under the waves, I might lose it."</p> <p>Samantha recalled that she was in the middle of taking her ring off when a "freak wave" came and knocked her over, causing her to drop the ring in the ocean.</p> <p>"I'm crying... my mum's crying, we're all crying, and I lost the ring," she said.</p> <p>15 years later she returned to the same beach with her own kids, when things took a turn for the better. </p> <p>"My daughter's collecting shells, and she picks up this big shell, and I said, 'Oh, that's beautiful. Like, that's a big one. We don't find them up this way'," she told the radio hosts.</p> <p>"And she said, 'Oh, hang on. I think there's like a creature or something in it'... So I said 'Put it down, put it down', and I picked it up and just make sure she wasn't going to get bitten or anything.</p> <p>"And I looked inside, and my ring was inside the shell."</p> <p>Samantha told the hosts that she remembered her mum giving her the ring and telling her "when you grow up and you have a daughter, you can give this to her."</p> <p>"When we found it, I think I cried for like, a week, it's a story that we still don't believe."</p> <p>Radio hosts Kate, Fitzy and Wippa were all in shock, with Kate telling the mum that the ring was "meant to be" with her. </p> <p>"Well, the funny thing is, my mum, actually, at the moment, is palative," Samantha shared.</p> <p>"She's very, very unwell, and out of everything that she does remember, she still remembers that story.</p> <p>"She'll still say to me, 'don't you ever get rid of that ring'. And I'm like, my daughter's got it in a box at home, and she's not even allowed to wear it."</p> <p><em>Image: Shutterstock</em></p>

Domestic Travel

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Ranger's confrontation with mum sparks debate

<p>An altercation between a woman and a parking inspector in Sydney's Double Bay has sparked debate online. </p> <p>Video footage of the confrontation was shared on <a href="https://au.news.yahoo.com/parking-ranger-altercation-mum-ritzy-000020905.html" target="_blank" rel="noopener">social media</a>, and the pair can be seen arguing over a parking ticket the woman received on Cross St, where two-hour parking rules apply. </p> <p>The woman claimed that she'd "just parked" her car and was paying for a ticket when the inspector arrived to fine her. </p> <p>She started recording him as he was "rude and abrupt", with the video showing him writing up the fine and telling her that he will be adding a complaint to his notes. </p> <p>"You're harassing me, I'll call the police," the ranger said to the woman, as she films him up close. </p> <p>As he turns abruptly pointing a finger toward her, and telling her to leave he appears to hit the phone, and the woman accuses him of assault. </p> <p>"You physically assaulted me. Wow. It's all on camera,"  she said to the ranger. </p> <p>She also claimed that the ranger  "pushed her away", and said that it was "terrifying".</p> <p>The video posted online attracted mixed responses from locals, with some arguing that  "there's more to the story" as the video didn't capture what happened before she started filming. </p> <p>However, a few others called the ranger out for his "shocking" behaviour. </p> <p>"The ranger has no right to assault anyone. And if it was when they were on the job, it’s a sackable offence, if not criminal," one said. </p> <p>Another argued that the woman was also in the wrong for being  "up in his face" as the ranger was  "just doing his job". </p> <p>"You can tell he didn't mean to knock the camera, and that she was up in his face," another added. </p> <p>A spokesperson for Woollahra Council confirmed they were aware of the incident and "regrets any distress experienced during the issuing of a fine due to an illegally parked vehicle."</p> <p>"We understand no one likes receiving a fine, but [we] ask members of the public to refrain from taking out their frustration on Council staff, either verbally or physically," they told Y<em>ahoo News</em>. </p> <p><em>Images: Facebook/ Yahoo</em></p>

Travel Trouble

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“Is this illegal?”: Mum sparks debate over divisive rubbish bin tactic

<p>A mother has reignited an age-old debate over neighbourhood etiquette, asking whether it is "illegal or frowned upon” to add rubbish to a neighbour’s wheelie bin if yours is completely full.</p> <p>Brooke Bliss, who lives on the NSW Mid North Coast, said that in her area bins were only collected once a fortnight and her outside bins fill up very quickly as a family of five. </p> <p>Often left with overflowing rubbish by the time collection day rolls around, Bliss admitted that she waits till the "dead of night" on the day before the bins are emptied and tosses a couple of bags of general waste into neighbours' bins.</p> <p>“Is this illegal or frowned upon?” the creator asked her followers in a video online.</p> <p>The mother-of-three explained to <a href="https://au.news.yahoo.com/mum-sparks-debate-over-widespread-rubbish-bin-tactic-everyone-does---but-is-it-illegal-004710089.html" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><em>Yahoo News Australia</em></a>, “It’s actually super stressful, especially when you have young children… the bins fill up quite quickly.”</p> <p>“I find that my bin is full maybe like the fourth day after it’s just been collected and there’s still another eight or so days to go.”</p> <p>She added that she had “the most lovely neighbours” who would never have an issue with it, but she’d heard of other people being told not to do that by other residents.</p> <p>“I mean, if your neighbours aren’t letting you do that even if they have room in their bin, you then have the rubbish lying around your property because you have nowhere else to put it," Bliss added.</p> <p>Many fellow Aussies commenting on her video said they also sneak rubbish into their neighbours' bins and that once they were on the kerb they were fair game, with one adding, "as long as you're not putting rubbish in recycling or garden waste".</p> <p>“Both our neighbours know we do this to them,” one wrote, while another said, “I do it in broad daylight.” With a third adding, "everyone does this".</p> <p>While there are technically no laws against using your neighbours' bin, trespassing could be an issue unless you wait until the bin is on council land. </p> <p>A spokesman for Bliss's local council said that the move is generally frowned upon unless there is an agreement among neighbours.</p> <p><em>Image credits: Instagram / Shutterstock</em></p>

Legal

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"Ruined our trip": Mum shell-shocked by $130k fine

<p>A mother has been slapped with a hefty fine after her children were caught in a seemingly innocent act while on a beach holiday. </p> <p>Charlotte Russ took her five kids on a trip to Pismo Beach in California, where her children started enthusiastically collecting what they thought were ordinary seashells. </p> <p>"My kids they thought they were collecting seashells, but they were actually collecting clams, 72 to be exact,"  Russ told local news outlet <em><a href="https://abc7.com/post/fresno-woman-fined-88k-after-kids-collect-clams/14859295/" target="_blank" rel="nofollow noreferrer noopener">ABC 7</a></em>.</p> <p>Clamming is highly regulated in California, meaning if you don't have a fishing license, you cannot catch the small sea creatures. </p> <p>She received a citation right there on the beach and was later notified she has to pay close to $89,000, or $133,000 AUD, for her kids' seemingly innocent treasure hunt. </p> <p>"It made me really sad and depressed, and it kind of ruined our trip," said Russ.</p> <p>Department of Fish and Wildlife's Lieutenant Matthew Gil defended the fine, saying there are rules in place for a reason. </p> <p>"The reason we got it we have these regulations is because we have to let them get to 4 and a half inches so they can spawn so they can have they can have offspring every year, and they have juvenile clams," said Lt. Gil.</p> <p>Russ said her kids have learned their lesson, saying, "They know now at the beach don't touch anything, but they know now what a clam is, compared to what a seashell is now, I've had to explain that to them."</p> <p>The mother was able to plead her case with a San Luis Obispo County Judge, who reduced her fine to $500 dollars, and after she "won" her case, Russ got a shellfish tattoo to commemorate the incident.</p> <p>"It was definitely one expensive trip to Pismo, unforgettable," said Russ.</p> <p><em>Image credits: ABC 7</em></p>

Travel Trouble

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Don’t give mum chocolates for Mother’s Day. Take on more housework, share the mental load and advocate for equality instead

<div class="theconversation-article-body"><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/leah-ruppanner-106371">Leah Ruppanner</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/the-university-of-melbourne-722">The University of Melbourne</a></em></p> <p>With Mother’s Day right around the corner, many grateful and loving families are thinking about what to give mum to show their appreciation.</p> <p>Should you give her chocolate? Nope. Fancy soaps? Nope. Fuzzy slippers, pyjamas, scented candles? No, no and no.</p> <p>On this Mother’s Day, keep your cash and give your wonderful mother gifts that will actually have a long-term impact on her health and well-being.</p> <h2>1. Do a chore that mum hates and hold onto it … forever</h2> <p>Research <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/13545701.2020.1831039">shows</a> men have increased the amount of time spent on housework and childcare and that mothers, over time, are doing less (hooray!).</p> <p>But, women <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/j.1741-3737.2008.00479.x">still do more housework</a> than men, especially when <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/gwao.12497?fbclid=IwAR2dp04p2sFqbDqdehXmXgDSfTYwX3GRzP7ScMJhSOrMePTGQVErR2TTX88">kids are in the home</a>.</p> <p>Further, <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0891243205285212">men tend to pick up the more desirable tasks</a>, like <a href="https://www.jstor.org/stable/3598304">cooking and playing with the kids</a>, leaving mothers to do the less pleasurable chores (think cleaning toilets and clearing out fridges).</p> <p>The chore divide in same-sex relationships is generally found to be more equal, but some critique suggests equality may suffer <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2018/05/16/upshot/same-sex-couples-divide-chores-much-more-evenly-until-they-become-parents.html">once kids are involved</a>.</p> <p>This year give your mum (or mums) the gift of equal housework and childcare sharing – start by taking the most-hated tasks and then hold onto them… forever.</p> <p><a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/gwao.12727">Research</a> shows housework inequality is bad for women’s mental health. Undervaluing women’s housework and unequal sharing of the chores deteriorates <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s11199-022-01282-5">relationship quality</a>, and <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/0038038516674664">leads to divorce</a>.</p> <p>Housework and childcare take up valuable time to keep the family happy, harmonious and thriving, often at the expense of mum’s health and well-being.</p> <p>So, skip the chocolates and show mum love by doing the worst, most drudgerous and constant household chores (hello, cleaning mouldy showers!) and keep doing these… forever.</p> <h2>2. Initiate a mental unload</h2> <p>The <a href="https://www.abc.net.au/news/health/2017-09-14/the-mental-load-and-what-to-do-about-it/8942032">mental load</a> is all of the planning, organising and management work necessary to keep the family running.</p> <p>The mental load is often perceived as list making or allocating tasks to family members.</p> <p>But, it’s so much more – it is the <a href="https://theconversation.com/planning-stress-and-worry-put-the-mental-load-on-mothers-will-2022-be-the-year-they-share-the-burden-172599">emotional work</a> that goes with this thinking work.</p> <p>The mental load is the worry work that never ends and can be done <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/13668803.2021.2002813">anywhere, anytime and with anyone</a> (in, for example, said mouldy shower).</p> <p>Because the mental load is performed inside our heads, it is invisible. That means we don’t know when we or others are performing this labour unless we really tune in.</p> <p>In fact, it is often when we tune in through quiet time, relaxation or meditation that the mental load rears its ugly head. Suddenly you remind yourself to buy oranges for the weekend soccer game, organise a family movie night and don’t forget to check in on nanna.</p> <p>Women in heterosexual relationships are <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0003122419859007">shown to do more</a> of the mental load with serious consequences for their mental health. But we don’t have a comprehensive measurement of how much women do it nor how it is allocated in same-sex couples.</p> <p>So, on this mothers’ day spend some time talking about, cataloguing, and equalising the family’s mental load.</p> <p>This isn’t just making a list about what has to be done but also understanding <a href="https://www.abc.net.au/news/health/2017-09-14/the-mental-load-and-what-to-do-about-it/8942032">how the mental load</a> connects to the emotional health of the family, and the person carrying this <a href="https://www.newamerica.org/better-life-lab/blog/making-the-mental-load-visible/">invisible labour, worry and stress</a>.</p> <h2>3. Speak up for your mum and all caregivers</h2> <p>Families alone cannot bear the brunt of the caregiving necessary to keep us thriving.</p> <p>Governments, workplaces and local communities also play a critical role. For this mothers’ day, pick an issue impacting mothers (for example, equal pay, affordable childcare or paid family leave) and do one thing to help move the needle.</p> <p>Write a letter to your boss, your local MP, or donate money to an advocacy organisation advancing gender equality.</p> <p>Or, role model these behaviours yourself – normalise caregiving as a critical piece of being an effective worker, create policies and practices that support junior staff to care for themselves, their families and their communities and use these policies.</p> <p><a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0891243216649946">Research</a> shows men want to be equal carers and sharers but often fear what taking time off for caregiving will signal to their employer despite evidence that fathers who request flexible work are perceived more <a href="https://academic.oup.com/sf/article-abstract/94/4/1567/2461609?login=false">favourably</a>.</p> <p>Appearing to be singularly devoted to work was shown to be impossible during the pandemic with kids, spouses, partners, and pets home all day long.</p> <p>Learning to create more care-inclusive workplaces and communities is critical.</p> <p>Paid parental leave, affordable and accessible high-quality childcare, flexibility in how, when and where we work and greater investments in paid sick leave, long-term disability support and aged care are just a few policies that would strengthen the care safety net.</p> <p>We will all be called upon to care at some point in our lives – let’s create the environments that support caregiving for all, not just mum.<!-- Below is The Conversation's page counter tag. Please DO NOT REMOVE. --><img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/182330/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /><!-- End of code. If you don't see any code above, please get new code from the Advanced tab after you click the republish button. The page counter does not collect any personal data. More info: https://theconversation.com/republishing-guidelines --></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/leah-ruppanner-106371">Leah Ruppanner</a>, Professor of Sociology and Founding Director of The Future of Work Lab, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/the-university-of-melbourne-722">The University of Melbourne</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images </em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/dont-give-mum-chocolates-for-mothers-day-take-on-more-housework-share-the-mental-load-and-advocate-for-equality-instead-182330">original article</a>.</em></p> </div>

Family & Pets

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Nicole Kidman's daughters help celebrate mum's historic first

<p>Nicole Kidman taken to the red carpet with her family in tow for a rare appearance, as Nicole accepted a lifetime achievement award. </p> <p>The Aussie actress was joined by her husband Keith Urban and their two daughters, Sunday, 15, and Faith, 13, who were all dressed to the nines for the occasion.</p> <p>Nicole was also surrounded by her sister Antonia Kidman, brother-in-law Craig Marran and their family for the glitzy event. </p> <p>The 56-year-old actress has now become the first Australian to win the American Film Institute Lifetime Achievement Award, with the award often being dubbed the highest honour in American cinema. </p> <p>The accolade has also been won by the likes of Julie Andrews, Al Pacino, Denzel Washington, George Clooney, Meryl Streep Morgan Freeman and many other iconic figures in the industry. </p> <p>The Academy Award winner who grew up in Sydney said on social media she was "deeply moved" to receive such a prestigious award. </p> <p>"Thank you to all of you and to the American Film institute for including me in this illustrious group of honorees — now let's have some fun!" she wrote on Instagram. </p> <p>When announcing Kidman as the recipient of the award, AFI released a statement saying, "Both a powerhouse performer, spellbinding movie star and accomplished producer, Nicole Kidman has captured the imaginations of audiences throughout her prolific career, delivering complex and versatile performances on-screen."</p> <p>"She is a force both brave in her choices and bold in each performance. AFI is honoured to present her with the 49th AFI Life Achievement Award."</p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images </em></p>

Family & Pets

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Huge reward to help solve cold case of missing mum

<p>Police are offering a $500,000 reward for information to help solve a cold case that suspect was a murder. </p> <p>Tammy Lisa Dyson, also known as Tamela Menzies, was 23 when went missing from the Currumbin area in 1995. </p> <p>The mother of two was picked up from a drug rehab clinic by a woman claiming to be her sister on July 20, 1995 and has not been seen since. </p> <p>Dyson was born and raised in Victoria before moving to Brisbane in 1988, where she worked in the adult entertainment industry under the nickname "Pebbles". </p> <p>Police believe she began mixing with criminals and using drugs while working in strip clubs on the Gold Coast.</p> <p>In early 1995 Dyson arranged for her young sons, Jyles and Rainey, to stay with their grandmother in Victoria temporarily.</p> <p>A few months later she made a distressed call to her sister Olivia, who said she had been assaulted. </p> <p>Olivia and her partner then dropped Dyson off to a drug rehabilitation centre at Currumbin on the Gold Coast, and on July 20, 1995 she was picked up by someone claiming to be her sister. </p> <p>The following day, Tammy completed a statutory declaration signed by a Justice of the Peace in Tweed Heads, giving custody of her children and her possessions to her mother.</p> <p>She also called her sister one last time, with Olivia recalling that Tammy "didn't sound like herself" and she had mentioned underworld figures. </p> <p>Police have received a number of reported sightings of Tammy since 1995 but all proof of life inquiries have  been proven negative.</p> <p>In 2012, the Queensland coroner said that they believed Tammy was deceased and indicated that she may have been a victim of violence, although a certain date, time and cause of death have not been determined. </p> <p>Police are now offering the huge reward for new information and immunity from prosecution for any accomplice who comes forward.</p> <p>"Tammy associated with criminals that were known to police and vanished without a trace after giving custody of her children and possessions to her mother; we believe the circumstances of her disappearance is suspicious," Detective Senior Sergeant Tara Kentwell said.</p> <p>On Wednesday, her sons, who were only three and one when their mother disappeared, made an emotional appeal for public help to find her. </p> <p>"Growing up without mum and not knowing what happened to her has been very hard," Jyles Lebler said through tears during a media conference. </p> <p>"Whoever has picked her up, I'm not saying they have done something but they must know something bad has happened."</p> <p>"We hope we find out what to mum to give grandma some closure before it's too late," Rainey added.</p> <p><em>Images: Queensland Police</em></p>

Legal

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Heartbreaking twist after mum dies on her way to a wedding

<p>A mother has been killed in a horrific car crash while on her way to a wedding in regional NSW, just hours after announcing she was expecting her third child. </p> <p>Shellymaine Ah Foon, 32, her partner Troy, and their two young daughters, aged six and two, were on their way to a wedding in Mudgee, NSW when their SUV crashed at Aarons Pass, about 2pm on Friday. </p> <p>Foon was left with critical injuries and was taken to Mudgee hospital, but soon passed away. </p> <p>Her partner was seriously injured and airlifted to Westmead Hospital to undergo surgery after suffering several fractures to both limbs on his left side. </p> <p>Their two daughters were also taken to the same hospital. </p> <p>A family member, who wished to remain anonymous, confirmed the sad detail to 7News. </p> <p>“We spoke to Shelly on the Thursday night, and she told us she was pregnant,” she said. </p> <p>“She was meant to go for tests when she came back from Mudgee to see how far along she was.”</p> <p>Foon was remembered as a "social butterfly" who could “strike up a conversation with anyone.” </p> <p>“She was very family oriented, was always there for anyone who needed anything, she was very selfless with her time,” the family member said. </p> <p>“Her death has really impacted a whole community of people,” she added. </p> <p>A <a href="https://www.gofundme.com/f/in-loving-memory-of-shellymaine-ah-foon" target="_blank" rel="noopener">GoFundMe</a> page has since been organised to help cover funeral costs, support Troy following his surgery, and help Foon's family, who are largely based overseas. </p> <p>“Troy won’t be able to go to work while he recovers,” the woman said.</p> <p>“He still has to undergo rehab, and he will be on crutches for some time.”</p> <p>Their two daughters have since been discharged from the hospital, and are in the care of family while Troy recovers. </p> <p>The family friend added that Foon's love for her kids was exceptional saying: “she was the light of Troy and her girls’ lives.</p> <p>“Their world has changed forever and the love their Mum gave them will never be replicated ever again.”  </p> <p>Police said investigations are still underway into the circumstances leading up to the crash, with the other driver taken to Mudgee Hospital with minor injuries. </p> <p><em>Images: 7News</em></p>

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How to look after your mental health while packing up Mum or Dad’s home

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/erika-penney-1416241">Erika Penney</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-technology-sydney-936">University of Technology Sydney</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/alice-norton-1516505">Alice Norton</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-sydney-841">University of Sydney</a>, and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/avalon-tissue-1515840">Avalon Tissue</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-sydney-841">University of Sydney</a></em></p> <p>So Mum or Dad has died, or moved to aged care, and now you’ve got to pack up their house. It’s a huge job and you’re dreading it.</p> <p>It’s normal to feel grief, loss, guilt, exhaustion or even resentment at being left with this job.</p> <p>So how can you look after your mental health while tackling the task?</p> <h2>It’s OK to feel a lot of feelings</h2> <p>Research has documented how this task can exert an intense <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/15267431.2021.1943399">physical and emotional toll</a>.</p> <p>This can be more intense for those who had strained – or even <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/epub/10.1177/0030222819868107">traumatic</a> – relationships with the person whose house they’re packing up.</p> <p>Decisions around distributing or discarding items can, in some families, bring up painful reminders of the past or end up <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/1074840711428451">replaying strained dynamics</a>.</p> <p>Family members who were carers for the deceased may feel exhaustion, overwhelm, <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1002/hec.1512?sid=vendor%3Adatabase">burnout</a> or a sense of injustice they must now continue to be responsible for their loved one’s affairs. Grief can be compounded by the practical challenges of deciding how to <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/0148-2963(94)00054-I">store or discard belongings</a>, <a href="https://www.jstor.org/stable/30000385">arrange the funeral</a>, execute the will, deal with the aged care place or, in some cases, navigate legal disputes.</p> <p>But packing up the house may also be cathartic or helpful. <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/15267431.2021.1943399">Research</a> has shown how the task of cleaning out a loved one’s belongings can provide an opportunity for family and friends to talk, share memories, and make sense of what has just happened.</p> <p>It’s also normal to grieve before someone dies. What psychologists call “<a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/29206700/">anticipatory</a> grief” can happen to <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1615888/">relatives packing up the house</a> of a parent who has moved to aged care or palliative care.</p> <h2>What to do with all this stuff?</h2> <p><a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/0148-2963(94)00054-I">Some</a> treat their loved one’s items with sanctity, holding onto as many of their belongings as possible and creating “shrines” in their honour.</p> <p>Others alleviate the weight of grief by clearing out a loved one’s house as soon as possible, giving away, selling or discarding as much as they can.</p> <p>But if you experience a mix of these – enthusiastically getting rid of some stuff, while desperately wanting to hold onto other things – that’s OK too.</p> <p>One <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/10253866.2017.1367677">study</a> identified a process punctuated by four key periods:</p> <ol> <li> <p>numbness and overwhelm at the task of packing the house</p> </li> <li> <p>yearning to maintain a link to the loved through their belongings</p> </li> <li> <p>working through grief, anger and guilt regarding the loved one and the task of managing their belongings, and</p> </li> <li> <p>healing and making sense of the relationship with the deceased and their belongings.</p> </li> </ol> <p>However, it is important to note everyone’s approach is different and there is no “right” way to do the clean out, or “right” way to feel.</p> <h2>Caring for your mental health during the clean out</h2> <p>To care for your mental health during these difficult times, you might try to:</p> <ul> <li> <p>make space for your feelings, whether it’s sadness, loss, resentment, anger, relief or all the above. There is no right or wrong way to feel. <a href="https://guilfordjournals.com/doi/abs/10.1521/jscp.2011.30.2.163">Accepting</a> your emotions is healthier than suppressing them</p> </li> <li> <p>share the load. <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1046/j.1365-2648.1999.01220.x">Research</a> has shown practical support from close friends and family can help a lot with grief. Accept help with packing, planning, dealing with removalists, selling or donating items and cleaning. Don’t be afraid to reduce your mental load by delegating tasks to friends, who are likely wondering how they can help</p> </li> <li> <p>take a systematic approach. Break tasks into their smallest component. For example, aim to clean out a drawer instead of an entire bedroom. This can help the mental and physical task feel more manageable</p> </li> <li> <p>reflect on what’s meaningful to you. Some belongings will have <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/0148-2963(94)00054-I">meaning</a>, while others will not. What was valuable to the deceased may not be valuable to you. Things they probably saw as pretty worthless (a handwritten shopping list, an old sewing kit) may be very meaningful to you. Ask yourself whether retaining a small number of meaningful possessions would allow you to maintain a connection with your loved one, or if clearing out the space and discarding the items is what you need</p> </li> <li> <p>share your story. When you feel ready, share your “<a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/15267431.2021.1943399">cleaning out the closet</a>” story with trusted friends and family. Storytelling allows the deceased to live on in memory. <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1046/j.1365-2648.1999.01220.x">Research</a> also suggests we cope better with bereavement when friends and relatives make time to hear our feelings</p> </li> <li> <p>remember that professional help is available. Just as a solicitor can help with legal disputes, a mental health professional can help you process your feelings.</p> </li> </ul> <p>The home of your loved one is not merely a place where they lived, but a space filled with meaning and stories.</p> <p>Packing up the house of a loved one can be incredibly daunting and challenging, but it can also be an important part of your grieving process.</p> <p><em>If this article has raised issues for you, or if you’re concerned about someone you know, call Lifeline on 13 11 14.</em><!-- Below is The Conversation's page counter tag. Please DO NOT REMOVE. --><img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/223956/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /><!-- End of code. If you don't see any code above, please get new code from the Advanced tab after you click the republish button. The page counter does not collect any personal data. More info: https://theconversation.com/republishing-guidelines --></p> <p><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/erika-penney-1416241">E<em>rika Penney</em></a><em>, Lecturer in Clinical Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-technology-sydney-936">University of Technology Sydney</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/alice-norton-1516505">Alice Norton</a>, Lecturer in Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-sydney-841">University of Sydney</a>, and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/avalon-tissue-1515840">Avalon Tissue</a>, Associate Lecturer in Clinical Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-sydney-841">University of Sydney</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/how-to-look-after-your-mental-health-while-packing-up-mum-or-dads-home-223956">original article</a>.</em></p>

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