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Understanding carer’s guilt

<p>Caring for a loved one who has a disability or is in decline requires endless hours of dedication, a resilient mindset, a sense of enduring compassion and patience as well as ongoing selflessness throughout your family member’s illness. It is often challenging to marry this with the demands of your own family, social and work life. The impacts on the mental well-being and quality of life of care givers have often been ignored.</p> <p>According to Carers Australia there are over 2.86 million Australians providing informal care in Australia today. The growing need to reduce some of the burdens experienced by these carers is increasingly being recognised. While there are support services available, there are also some simple steps you can take to prevent emotional ‘burn-out’.</p> <p>According to Mace and Rabins in their book, <em>The 36-Hour Day</em>, it is important to:</p> <ul> <li>Give yourself permission to take time out for yourself. This is especially important if you are providing 24-hour care to someone with dementia, for example.</li> <li>Take some time to go out once a week, ask another person to stay overnight to ensure you receive a good night’s sleep, or if possible, take a vacation.</li> <li>Give yourself a present. This helps to give yourself a ‘lift’ when you might need it. Perhaps consider simply standing outside and enjoying a sunset, order your favourite meal at a restaurant, buy a new book, or perhaps a new piece of music.</li> <li>Maintain your friendships and social contacts. Friends provide emotional comfort and support, and can often be immensely helpful when you need to take that much needed time out.</li> <li>Coupled with this is the importance of avoiding isolation. Call upon local community organisations or religious groups for help. There are often support groups and associations which provide services for families managing specific diseases.</li> <li>Find additional help. Consider employing a regular carer to lighten the load on a more consistent basis. It’s amazing what a difference 3 hours a day can make, or even one day a week. Be organised. Involve family and friends regularly in the care process.</li> <li>Consider developing a care plan which includes the contact details of support services, and emergency contacts in the event something happens to you.</li> <li>Recognise the warning signs. Ask yourself regularly if you are feeling sad or depressed or experiencing anxiety. Are you staying awake at night, not eating enough? If you are answering yes to any of these, then strongly consider seeking support. The well-being of the person you are caring for depends directly on your well-being. It is important to know when to ask for help – and indeed, know there is help available!</li> </ul> <p>If you have any tips on managing carer’s stress, we’d love to see them in the comments below.</p> <p><em>At <strong><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><a href="http://www.careseekers.com.au/" target="_blank">Careseekers</a></span></strong> we provide respite, short-term and long-term care support to families in need. If you are looking for support and are unsure of your options, please <a href="mailto:info@careseekers.com.au" target="_blank"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong>email</strong></span></a> or call us for more information on 1300 765 465.</em></p> <p><em>First appeared on <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><a href="http://www.careseekers.com.au/blog/5-disability-care/32-carer-s-guilt-it-s-ok-to-care-for-you-too" target="_blank"><strong>Careseekers.com.au.</strong></a></span></em></p> <p><strong>Related links:</strong></p> <p><a href="/health/caring/2016/05/ageing-in-home-in-the-21st-century/"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em><strong>A look at ageing in-home in the 21st century</strong></em></span></a></p> <p><a href="/health/caring/2016/04/tips-for-choosing-a-carer/"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em><strong>Top 5 things to consider when choosing a carer</strong></em></span></a></p> <p><a href="/health/caring/2016/04/tips-to-for-finding-short-term-carer-help/"><em><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong>What to when you need a carer NOW</strong></span></em></a></p>

Caring

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Record number of carers register with care matching provider Careseekers

<p>With the need for experienced, capable carers growing every day, online care matching service provider Careseekers has seen a record number of carers register with their service.</p> <p>To date, more than 1,000 carers across Australia, from Perth to Sydney have registered with Careseekers, with numbers continuing to grow daily.</p> <p>Marissa Sandler, co-Founder and CEO, said of the latest figures, “This is an important milestone not only for the industry, which is undergoing significant change in the way in-home care is delivered, but also for our company. This achievement demonstrates our approach of providing the greatest possible choice to the families we work with, resonates with both carers as well as people looking for care.”</p> <p>With an approach that focuses on preserving the dignity and autonomy of the individual by a careful carer and care seeker matching system, Careseekers says the growing numbers of carers will allow families the widest possible options for consideration.</p> <p>“The carers who have registered with Careseekers possess a diversity of skills, educational backgrounds, cultural persuasions as well as experience… this recognises ultimately, the choice of which carer is right for one family, may not necessarily be right for another – it is a very personal decision,” said Ms Sandler.</p> <p>“As the government moves towards a more consumer driven market based care system and the preference for maintaining independent living grows in tandem, increasing choice in determining the nature and type of care being received in the home becomes paramount.”</p> <p><strong>Related links: </strong></p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><em><a href="/health/caring/2015/12/carers-provide-billions-in-unpaid-care/">Labour of love: Australian carers provide $60.3 billion of care each year</a></em></strong></span></p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><em><a href="/health/caring/2015/08/person-first-dementia-care/">Putting the “Person First” in dementia care</a></em></strong></span></p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><em><a href="/news/news/2015/06/seniors-open-doors-needy/">Seniors open doors to needy in exchange for housework</a></em></strong></span></p>

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Tips to help children understand grandparents with dementia

<p><em><strong>Marissa Sandler is the CEO and co-founder of Careseekers. Prior to founding Careseekers Marissa worked as a social justice lawyer and researcher for over 15 years with a strong focus on disability discrimination and women’s rights. She is passionate about helping people live with dignity and finding innovative solutions to problems she sees around her. </strong></em></p> <p>Many of the people who call <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em><strong><a href="http://www.careseekers.com.au/" target="_blank">Careseekers</a></strong></em></span> for help are the adult children, husbands, wives or partners of people diagnosed with dementia. Navigating dementia can be challenging and unchartered for all family members, including grandchildren. How are children coping with grandparents with dementia? And what can you do to make it easier for them to understand the illness and its impact on their grandparent.</p> <p>We spoke to Helen Carswell, Senior Counsellor at Alzheimers Australia who gave us some valuable insights that have helped us create tips for helping children cope with dementia in the family.</p> <p><strong>How to explain what dementia is to your child</strong></p> <ul> <li>The amount of information you should give will depend on your child’s age, knowing what is appropriate for them.</li> <li>It is important for children to understand that it is a disease of the brain that makes them behave differently.</li> <li>Use examples to show how sick the person is. A great example is “If grandpa had a broken leg you would see that his leg is broken because there would be a plaster around it. We wouldn’t expect him to walk around on a broken leg like he used to. The problem with Grandpa is his brain not his leg, it is now gluggy and not like it was before and we cannot expect him to think and behave the way he used to.”</li> <li>There have been many storybooks written for children which help explain what is happening to someone with dementia. Here are a couple you can find at your local library</li> </ul> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Do You Remember? </span><span style="text-decoration: underline;">By </span><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Kelly O’Gara and Anna McNeill</span></p> <p>A beautiful exploration between a child and their ageing grandparent . Children will relate to the mice as they read the story and understand their grandparent's condition. The book can cater for multiple ageing conditions but specifically is focussed on explaining Dementia to children.</p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Wilfred Gordon McDonald Partridge</span><span style="text-decoration: underline;"> by</span><span style="text-decoration: underline;"> Mem Fox</span></p> <p>Wilfred Gordon McDonald Partridge lives next door to a nursing home in which several of his good friends reside. Of course, his favorite is Miss Nancy Alison Delacourt Cooper, because she has four names just as he does. The only problem is Miss Nancy, who is 96, has "lost" her memory. Undaunted, Wilfred sets out to "find" Miss Nancy's memory for her.</p> <p><strong>How to respond when a child sees frightening behaviour in a parent or grandparent</strong></p> <ul> <li>Be honest and deal with things as they arise to help them make sense of what is going on around them.</li> <li>If they have seen something that may upset them, ask them about it, ask them about how it makes them feel.</li> <li>Remember that not everyone with dementia acts in an angry or violent manner so there is no need to keep your child away from someone with dementia in fear of them witnessing scary behaviour.</li> </ul> <p><strong>How to help children remember what their grandparent used to be like</strong></p> <ul> <li>Tell stories from the past about the grandparent using photos and videos and referring to things they used to do with him or her.</li> <li>Explain to your child that they will need to keep the memory of their grandparent alive because unfortunately they can no longer hold onto those memories.</li> <li>Get children to create photo books, scrapbooks or collages of them and their parents/grandparents lives together and also before they were born. Let them share it with their grandparents and with other family members, friends and teachers at school. If possible give the child objects that may have relevance to the grandparent’s life to hold, smell and talk about.</li> </ul> <p>For more information, Alzheimer's Australia have a factsheet: About Dementia – Information for Young People <em><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="https://fightdementia.org.au/sites/default/files/helpsheets/Helpsheet-AboutDementia05-InformationForYoungPeople_english.pdf" target="_blank">which can be downloaded here.</a></strong></span></em></p> <p><em>The <em><em>Alzheimer's Australia</em></em> video above<em> shows</em> c<span>hildren and grandchildren of people with dementia speak frankly about what it is like having a relative with dementia. </span></em></p> <p><strong>Related links: </strong></p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><em><a href="http://www.oversixty.co.nz/news/news/2015/12/image-of-couple-proves-love-can-last/">Touching photo of elderly couple is proof that love can last a lifetime</a></em></strong></span></p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><em><a href="http://www.oversixty.co.nz/health/caring/2015/12/mum-continues-to-volunteer-despite-cancer-diagnosis/">Selfless mum continues to volunteer despite terminal cancer diagnosis</a></em></strong></span></p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><em><a href="http://www.oversixty.co.nz/health/caring/2016/01/steps-to-fall-proof-your-home/">5 steps to fall-proof your home</a></em></strong></span></p>

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