family & Pets

Mon, 10 Sep, 2018Over60

Carrie Bickmore reveals how to explain death to a three-year-old

Carrie Bickmore reveals how to explain death to a three-year-old

The Project co-host, Carrie Bickmore, has opened up about the hard questions she has been asked about life recently.

The first difficult question came during an appearance of Anh’s Brush with Fame.

While painting the TV and radio host, Anh Do asked Carrie: “What is life all about, Carrie?”

Admitting that she was attempting to dodge the hard question, Carrie responded: “I am someone who is always on the move, hurtling from one thing to the next, never stopping to ponder what it all means.”

However, a few weeks later, Carrie’s three-year-old daughter Evie presented her with some more difficult questions to answer.

The most recent difficult conversation with her daughter came about after the family attended the funeral of a friend’s mother.

“Where does the grandma go now she is dead?”

Reflecting on what she chose to say, Carrie shared in Stellar magazine, “I tried to remember what I had been told as a child: all my dead relatives went to heaven and were protectively looking down on me. Interestingly that idea brought me a strange level of comfort as a child, but Chris, who lost his brother growing up, wished people hadn’t told him that.

“So we opted for the biological answer ...

“We said the grandma had died now and her time on Earth was done, and sadly she won’t come back and her body would be buried in the ground.”

Evie then asked Carrie: “Won’t she get dirty?”

“She can’t feel dirty, sweetie. She doesn’t hurt anymore. She doesn’t feel love anymore. She doesn’t feel anything anymore.”

Reflecting on the experience, Carrie explained: “I am still wondering if we told little Evie the right thing.”

“There is clearly no right or wrong and I am fully aware the tough questions will keep on coming.

“However, Evie’s incessant probing did help me get closer to my answer for Anh.

“Maybe life is simply about working out life’s imponderables with the people you love.

“It’s about feeling deeply, hurting deeply, loving deeply and getting dirty until you no longer can.”

Just two weeks earlier, while Carrie was in the bathroom rubbing oil on her pregnant belly, Evie popped her head in to observe her mum.

“Mama, how did the baby get in there?”

Thrown off guard by her daughter’s curiosity, Carried slowly replied: “Well … I can tell you how the baby comes out.”

In an open-ed for Stellar Carrie recalled of the experience: “I went on to explain how babies are born, which led to more awkward questions about the size of the hole it comes out of.”

“Phew,” I thought, “dodged that one.”

But then, Evie asked how the baby gets in there in the first place.

She ushered her daughter onto her husband, Chris, but three days later she was back again with the same question.

“I toyed with using the idea of a stork (or taxi, as my friend told her kids) dropping the babies off fully formed, but fortunately I was rushing out the door, so I cowardly washed my hands of that parental responsibility,” Carrie explained.

Carrie admitted that Chris rose to the occasion and gave a very honest answer to her questions.

“Daddy’s p**** and mummy’s v***** make the babies.”

Evie took in the information and then proceeded to ask: “What about Mummy’s butt?”

“Not as helpful,” replied Chris.