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‘To truly forget life for a while – a reprieve and a reward’: why Australians love going to the cinema

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/ruari-elkington-105955">Ruari Elkington</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/queensland-university-of-technology-847">Queensland University of Technology</a></em></p> <p>Australians have had plenty of time in the last 100 years to work out what they value about cinema-going and why it matters. Head to any cinema and catch the Val Morgan advertising in the pre-show. Take a closer look at the date the company was founded. Not 1984, <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Val_Morgan">but 1894</a>. That’s more than 125 years of “Making Messages Memorable” on Australian screens.</p> <p>We have a deep and abiding love for cinema in this country. Over the last century, the experience of going to the movies has both shifted significantly (<a href="https://villageroadshow.com.au/-/media/VRL-Corporate-Media-Library/Documents/Press-Releases/2017/5-December-Gold-Class-Celebrates-20-Years.pdf">we invented Gold Class, you know</a>) and somehow remained resolutely enduring in terms of appeal.</p> <p>My colleague Tess Van Hemert and I have spent the last two years <a href="https://research.qut.edu.au/dmrc/projects/resilient-screens-investigating-the-value-of-australian-cinema-exhibition/">researching</a> the cultures and practices of cinema-going and how cinema sites shape that experience.</p> <p>A typical response in our research was: "I love the cinema experience. It’s a bonding experience, if it’s good it’s an emotional and cathartic experience."</p> <h2>‘A reprieve and a reward’</h2> <p>Cinemas <a href="https://www.bfi.org.uk/industry-data-insights/reports/measuring-economic-value-cinema-venues">are a catalyst</a> for social, cultural and economic activity wherever they operate, from single-screen regional sites to major multiplexes in suburban shopping malls. Cinema, our participants said, is the “ideal” way to watch a movie: "I like to sit as close as I can to the screen so that the ‘real’ world is completely blocked out. I am immersed in &amp; in awe of the film only. To truly forget life for a while – a reprieve &amp; a reward."</p> <p>Cinemas also mirror communities back to themselves. We may go in alone, as a couple or with family and friends, but in the cinema we form a community.</p> <p>When reflecting on returning to the cinema between COVID lockdowns, one person spoke of seeing American Utopia "There were only about 10 people in the cinema. We didn’t know each other but we all started spontaneously dancing, first in our seats, and then everyone ran down to the floor in front of the screen to dance together. It was like a mini music festival when live music was banned."</p> <p>Despite the cost, despite the hassle, despite the need to leave the couch, Australians turn up time and time again to cinemas. In 2023, the Australian box office generated nearly <a href="https://if.com.au/australian-box-office-neared-1b-in-2023/">A$1 billion</a> (although this is down on <a href="https://variety.com/2020/film/asia/australia-annual-box-office-drops-1203476275/">pre-COVID figures</a>). Four of the top ten highest grossing films of all time in Australia have been released <a href="https://www.valmorgan.com.au/2022-at-the-movies">since the pandemic began</a>. Australian census data tells us cinema-going remains Australia’s <a href="https://www.abs.gov.au/statistics/people/people-and-communities#:%7E:text=44%25%20of%20people%20attended%20the,popular%20cultural%20venue%20or%20event">most popular</a> cultural activity.</p> <h2>‘Being able to switch off’</h2> <p>When cinemas face closure – or shut temporarily, as they did during the pandemic – the outpouring of community support can galvanise a community and remind them of all the times and ways in which they valued that access to that experience.</p> <p>One participant spoke of seeing their first film in the cinema after the pandemic: "It made me appreciate the whole cinema experience more. Getting out and being able to switch off was a welcome change."</p> <p>In our research, we observed how cinemas began to <a href="https://www.palacecinemas.com.au/blog/the-cinema-why-we-love-it/">articulate</a> their value to community through the pandemic period of forced closures.</p> <p>In the <a href="https://eprints.qut.edu.au/243758/">large-scale national audience research</a> we conducted in partnership with Palace Cinemas the value audiences derive from cinema-going was as diverse as the programming.</p> <p>They remembered specific films, such as watching the opening credits of Force Awakens with a crowd of avid fans, or feeling like they were “experiencing summer in Italy” while watching Call Me By Your Name.</p> <p>They focused on memories of the people they were with, such as feeling “all grown up” while seeing arthouse films with their dad when they were a kid.</p> <h2>‘Float in the memory’</h2> <p>They spoke about the feelings they had before during and after the screening and the experience overall. One respondent wrote of loving the end of a film: "the quiet few minutes as the credits roll and you float in the memory of the film. This only happens for me when I see it in the cinema."</p> <p>Another participant spoke about leaving the cinema and: "doing a walk around the block thinking about the movie, still thinking about the movie driving home."</p> <p>One participant said they love “being able to have respectful (unbothered) alone time publicly”.</p> <p>Clear in this data is that memorability – and the experience of cinema – is far more nuanced than the simple appeal of watching a big film in a big room on a big screen. Cinemas continue to serve Australian communities in far more complex way than simply movies and popcorn.</p> <p>Cinema has always battled headwinds. Since radio, cinema has constantly faced in-home entertainment technology that was supposed to knock it over completely – TV, colour TV, cable, satellite, VHS, DVDs and now streaming. Each time, the desire for people to come together in a space and watch something unique in a way they can’t find anywhere else, with a level of engagement they can’t find anywhere else, has prevailed. We all have a kitchen at home, but we still love going out to restaurants.</p> <p>Disney, Warner Bros and Australia’s own Birch Carrol and Coyle all celebrated 100 years of operation in 2023. To sustain another century, more research is needed to better understand how cinema-going must continue to evolve to meet shifting audience expectations.<!-- Below is The Conversation's page counter tag. Please DO NOT REMOVE. --><img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/222597/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /><!-- End of code. If you don't see any code above, please get new code from the Advanced tab after you click the republish button. The page counter does not collect any personal data. More info: https://theconversation.com/republishing-guidelines --></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/ruari-elkington-105955">Ruari Elkington</a>, Senior Lecturer in Creative Industries &amp; Chief Investigator at QUT Digital Media Research Centre (DMRC), <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/queensland-university-of-technology-847">Queensland University of Technology</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/to-truly-forget-life-for-a-while-a-reprieve-and-a-reward-why-australians-love-going-to-the-cinema-222597">original article</a>.</em></p>

Movies

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Love-struck elephant goes wild on safari

<p>In the annals of adventure, there are tales of bravery and resilience – and then there are tales of two guys just trying to find a quiet spot for a bathroom break in South Africa.</p> <p>Meet Henry Blom and Taylor Fulmer, the unlikely protagonists of a safari gone haywire. Innocently disembarking from their tour truck for a brief moment of relief in the bush, the pair suddenly found themselves smack dab in the middle of a romantic rampage by none other than a love-stricken bull elephant.</p> <p>As screams echoed through the savannah, Henry and Taylor found themselves in a bizarre game of hide and seek with a pachyderm-sized opponent. "We got off the truck with a bunch of other people to use the bathrooms and then we started hearing screaming," Henry <a href="https://9now.nine.com.au/today/elephant-safari-attack-witnesses-describe-terrifying-moment-wild-animal-charged/451c9dd1-3d90-4112-868c-99e3a8f17019" target="_blank" rel="noopener">recounted on the <em>Today </em>show</a>, probably wishing they had all decided to hold it in a little longer.</p> <p>But it wasn't just any elephant causing the ruckus. No, this was one amorous elephant on a mission – sweating, urinating and emitting more bodily fluids than a broken faucet.</p> <p>As the wild beast charged, Henry and Taylor feared for their lives, imagining scenarios straight out of an action movie where they'd be the unlucky extras squashed beneath a mammoth-sized villain.</p> <p>Yet, amid the chaos, there emerged a hero: the tour guide. While the elephant treated the truck like a chew toy, the guide maintained a Zen-like calm, steering the vehicle with the finesse of a seasoned race car driver dodging obstacles. "We saw the elephant charge and my fear was that it was going to go through the window," Taylor recounted, possibly wondering if he should've packed a spare pair of pants for the trip.</p> <p>As the dust settled and the elephant's romantic pursuit waned, Henry and Taylor breathed a sigh of relief. But their ordeal wasn't over just yet. The guide's sage advice? "Stay quiet and get ready to run."</p> <p>Words of wisdom to live by, especially when you're in the crosshairs of a loved-up elephant.</p> <p>Reflecting on their brush with danger, Henry and Taylor couldn't help but marvel at the surreal experience. "He was so close we could smell him, it was crazy," Henry mused, perhaps understating the olfactory assault they endured.</p> <p>So, the next time you're contemplating a safari adventure, remember Henry and Taylor's tale of bathroom breaks gone wild. Because when nature calls in the wild, you might just find yourself in the midst of an elephant love story – and trust us, it's not as romantic as it sounds.</p> <p>Images: The <em>Today </em>Show</p>

Travel Trouble

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Not all mourning happens after bereavement – for some, grief can start years before the death of a loved one

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/lisa-graham-wisener-1247893">Lisa Graham-Wisener</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/queens-university-belfast-687">Queen's University Belfast</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/audrey-roulston-1512057">Audrey Roulston</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/queens-university-belfast-687">Queen's University Belfast</a></em></p> <p>For many people, grief starts not at the point of death, but from the moment a loved one is diagnosed with a life-limiting illness.</p> <p>Whether it’s the diagnosis of an advanced cancer or a non-malignant condition such as dementia, heart failure or Parkinson’s disease, the psychological and emotional process of grief can begin many months or even years before the person dies. This experience of mourning a future loss is known as <a href="https://link.springer.com/referenceworkentry/10.1007/978-3-319-69892-2_1006-1">anticipatory grief</a>.</p> <p>While not experienced by everyone, anticipatory grief is a <a href="https://spcare.bmj.com/content/bmjspcare/early/2022/02/10/bmjspcare-2021-003338.full.pdf?casa_token=IWNMDFN5SoIAAAAA:2EybwyPcKu73VdrACTNk7jITor-mMIXK8rv76arXgdjV9cA2Y0MV0LyZLLwcYe1rZUAQymOzFYo">common</a> part of the grieving process and can include a range of conflicting, often difficult thoughts and emotions. For example, as well as feelings of loss, some people can experience guilt from wanting their loved one to be free of pain, or imagining what life will be like after they die.</p> <h2>Difficult to define, distressing to experience</h2> <p>Anticipatory grief has proved <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/02692163221074540#bibr13-02692163221074540">challenging to define</a>. A <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/02692163221074540#bibr13-02692163221074540">systematic review</a> of research studies on anticipatory grief identified over 30 different descriptions of pre-death grief. This lack of consensus has limited research progress, because there’s no shared understanding of how to identify anticipatory grief.</p> <p>Therese Rando, a <a href="https://www.taylorfrancis.com/chapters/edit/10.4324/9781315800806-9/grief-mourning-accommodating-loss-therese-rando">prominent theorist</a>, has proposed that anticipatory grief can help prepare for death, contributing to a more positive grieving experience post-bereavement. Rando also suggests that pre-death mourning can aid with adjustment to the loss of a loved one and reduce the risk of <a href="https://www.cruse.org.uk/understanding-grief/effects-of-grief/complicated-grief/">“complicated grief”</a>, a term that describes persistent and debilitating emotional distress.</p> <figure><iframe src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/AapGn60DZSA?wmode=transparent&amp;start=0" width="440" height="260" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe></figure> <p>But pre-death mourning doesn’t necessarily mean grief will be easier to work through once a loved one has died. Other <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0277953621005724?casa_token=I9mbdSv3d3gAAAAA:MqxN5X_iWbcqa6BYj7IXmImUviheOQWAVA4UBy6795UDuS1uOHG9b245qMkyOiLcvjv_SU6yVA">research evidence</a> shows that it’s possible to experience severe anticipatory grief yet remain unprepared for death.</p> <h2>Carers should seek support</h2> <p>Carers of people with life-limiting illnesses may notice distressing changes in the health of their loved ones. Witnessing close-up someone’s deterioration and decline in independence, memory or ability to perform routine daily tasks, such as personal care, is a painful experience.</p> <p>It is essential, then, for carers to acknowledge difficult emotions and seek support from those around them – especially because caring for a loved one at the end of their life <a href="https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/helping-someone-else/carers-friends-family-coping-support/your-mental-health/">can be an isolating time</a>.</p> <p>Where possible, it can also be beneficial for carers to offer their loved one <a href="https://compassionatecommunitiesni.com/our-programs/dying-to-talk/">opportunities to reflect</a> on significant life events, attend to unfinished business, and to discuss preferences for funeral arrangements. For some, this may involve supporting loved ones to reconnect with friends and family, helping them to put legal or financial affairs in order, talking about how the illness is affecting them, or making an <a href="https://www.england.nhs.uk/publication/universal-principles-for-advance-care-planning/">advance care plan</a>.</p> <figure><iframe src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/wrJaTXW1Xvk?wmode=transparent&amp;start=0" width="440" height="260" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe></figure> <h2>Talking is key</h2> <p>Living with altered family dynamics, multiple losses, transition and uncertainty can be <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/07481187.2021.1998935">distressing for all family members</a>. It may be difficult to manage the emotional strain of knowing death is unavoidable, to make sense of the situation, and to <a href="https://hospicefoundation.ie/i-need-help/i-am-seriously-ill/how-to-talk-to-those-you-care-about/">talk about dying</a>.</p> <p>However, talking is key in <a href="https://www.cruse.org.uk/about/blog/important-conversations-death/">preparing for an impending death</a>. Organisations who offer specialist palliative care have information and trained professionals to help with difficult conversations, including <a href="https://www.mariecurie.org.uk/help/support/diagnosed/talking-children/children">talking to children</a> about death and dying.</p> <p>Navigating anticipatory grief can involve self-compassion for both the patient and carer. This includes acknowledging difficult emotions and treating oneself with kindness. Open communication with the person nearing the end of their life can foster emotional connection and help address their concerns, alongside support from the wider circle of family and friends.</p> <p>Extending empathy and understanding to those nearing death – and those grieving their impending loss – will help contribute to a compassionate community that supports those experiencing death, dying and bereavement.<!-- Below is The Conversation's page counter tag. Please DO NOT REMOVE. --><img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/221629/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /><!-- End of code. If you don't see any code above, please get new code from the Advanced tab after you click the republish button. The page counter does not collect any personal data. More info: https://theconversation.com/republishing-guidelines --></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/lisa-graham-wisener-1247893">Lisa Graham-Wisener</a>, Lecturer of Health Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/queens-university-belfast-687">Queen's University Belfast</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/audrey-roulston-1512057">Audrey Roulston</a>, Professor of Social Work in Palliative Care, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/queens-university-belfast-687">Queen's University Belfast</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images </em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/not-all-mourning-happens-after-bereavement-for-some-grief-can-start-years-before-the-death-of-a-loved-one-221629">original article</a>.</em></p>

Caring

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Aussie love story from WWII immortalised in the war memorial

<p>An Australian couple's love story that defied the odds of time and distance has been immortalised in the war memorial.</p> <p>The Australian War Memorial is calling for volunteers to help transcribe thousands of love letters sent from soldiers in the war, to their loved ones back at home. </p> <p>Launching on Valentine's Day, the project will see the digital release of hundreds of thousands of personal letters, diaries and other handwritten documents kept safe for decades. </p> <p>Among those stories is the tale of Mac and Dot, two lovebirds separated by World War II. </p> <p>Their love story began in 1939, when Mac was 17 and Dorothy was 14. </p> <p>Dorothy - or as Mac referred to her, his Darling Dot - was forbidden to go on a date with Mac after her father refused to give his blessing. </p> <p>"He kept on asking me to go out but my father wouldn't let me," Dorothy laughed as she told Ally Langdon on <em>A Current Affair</em>. </p> <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/reel/C3Rj4g9vjIS/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/reel/C3Rj4g9vjIS/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by A Current Affair (@acurrentaffair9)</a></p> </div> </blockquote> <p>Mac was soon off to war, but his plan was always to return home to Dot. </p> <p>"He said to me, 'When I come back home...Will you come out with me then?'" Dorothy reminisced.</p> <p>"I said, 'Of course I will, Mac!' And then he gave me a kiss and went to war."</p> <p>The young couple then continued to write each other letters every week for five long years, until Mac was captured by the German army and held as a prisoner of war. </p> <p>Despite his capture, Mac held onto every letter Dot had ever written him, as he remained determined to get home to his beloved. </p> <p>"I hated him being away, and when the letters came back oh gee they were wonderful," Dorothy said.</p> <p>"A letter meant he was still alive, you see, so it was so exciting."</p> <p>In April 1945, Dot received the best letter of all: Mac had escaped and was coming home. </p> <p>"Hello my darling. What does one say in a moment such as this?" Dot wrote on April 30th 1945.</p> <p>"I have butterflies in my stomach, love in my heart and few words that make sense in my mind. Well Mac, it's really coming at last. You're almost home". </p> <p>And Mac wrote back to that, "Hello darling. I miss you more now than ever."</p> <p>"Unfortunately I can't find a boat to take me back to you. If they don't hurry I guess I'll just have to pinch a rowing boat and see what I can do!" </p> <p>When Mac returned home, he brought with him half a decade's worth of those love letters from Dot, as well as a portrait of himself painted by another prisoner of war. </p> <p>It hangs proudly at the end of Dorothy's bed and is the first thing she sees when she wakes.</p> <p>Now Robyn Van Dyke and Terrie-Anne Simmonds from the Australian War Memorial are sifting through thousands of donated love letters, including Mac's and Dorothy's.</p> <p>"He not only managed to escape, but he managed to take all her letters with him and that blows me away because it's not a small amount of letters," Robyn said.</p> <p>The team is looking for <a href="https://transcribe.awm.gov.au" target="_blank" rel="noopener">volunteers</a> to help ensure those stories, and all that love, live forever.</p> <p>Dorothy, who is now 101 years old, had more than 70 wonderful years with Mac before he died in 2014. </p> <p>"He was nearly 90, you know. And me I just kept on going and going and going!" she said.</p> <p>"He'd be up there watching every minute I bet. We had such fun. Oh dear we did have fun. We laughed a lot and we cried a lot."</p> <p>"But we lived - and that was the main thing."</p> <p><em>Image credits: A Current Affair </em></p> <p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 24px 0px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; font-size: 18px; line-height: 1.333; font-family: 'Proxima Nova', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size-adjust: inherit; font-kerning: inherit; font-variant-alternates: inherit; font-variant-ligatures: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-position: inherit; font-feature-settings: inherit; font-optical-sizing: inherit; font-variation-settings: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; caret-color: #333333; color: #333333; letter-spacing: 0.25px;"> </p>

Relationships

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‘Self-love’ might seem selfish. But done right, it’s the opposite of narcissism

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/ian-robertson-1372650">Ian Robertson</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-wollongong-711">University of Wollongong</a></em></p> <p>“To love what you are, the thing that is yourself, is just as if you were embracing a glowing red-hot iron” <a href="https://archive.org/details/jungsseminaronni0000jung">said psychonalyst Carl Jung</a>.</p> <p>Some may argue this social media generation does not seem to struggle with loving themselves. But is the look-at-me-ism so easily found on TikTok and Instagram the kind of self-love we need in order to flourish?</p> <p>The language of <a href="https://theconversation.com/teaching-positive-psychology-skills-at-school-may-be-one-way-to-help-student-mental-health-and-happiness-217173">positive psychology</a> can be – and often is – appropriated for all kinds of self-importance, as well as cynical marketing strategies.</p> <p>Loving yourself, though, psychological experts stress, is not the same as behaving selfishly. There’s a firm line between healthy and appropriate forms of loving yourself, and malignant or <a href="https://theconversation.com/how-many-types-of-narcissist-are-there-a-psychology-expert-sets-the-record-straight-207610">narcissistic</a> forms. But how do we distinguish between them?</p> <p>In 2023, researchers Eva Henschke and Peter Sedlmeier conducted <a href="https://www.researchgate.net/publication/355152846_What_is_self-love_Redefinition_of_a_controversial_construct">a series of interviews</a> with psychotherapists and other experts on what self-love is. They’ve concluded it has three main features: self-care, self-acceptance and self-contact (devoting attention to yourself).</p> <p>But as an increasingly individualistic society, are we already devoting too much attention to ourselves?</p> <h2>Philosophy and self-love</h2> <p>Philosophers and psychology experts alike have considered the ethics of self-love.</p> <p>Psychology researcher Li Ming Xue and her colleagues, <a href="https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2021.585719/full">exploring the notion of self-love in Chinese culture</a>, claim “Western philosophers believe that self-love is a virtue”. But this is a very broad generalisation.</p> <p>In the Christian tradition and in much European philosophy, <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/10848770.2020.1839209">says philosopher Razvan Ioan</a>, self-love is condemned as a profoundly damaging trait.</p> <p>On the other hand, <a href="https://www.jstor.org/stable/2107991">many of the great Christian philosophers</a>, attempting to make sense of the instruction to love one’s neighbour as oneself, admitted certain forms of self-love were virtuous. In order to love your neighbour as yourself, you must, it would seem, love yourself.</p> <p>In the Western philosophical context, claim Xue and her colleagues, self-love is concerned with individual rights – “society as a whole only serves to promote an individual’s happiness”.</p> <p>This individualistic, self-concerned notion of self-love, they suggest, might come from the Ancient Greek philosophers. In particular, Aristotle. But <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/philosophy-stirred-not-shaken/201502/love-yourself-love-your-character">Aristotle thought only the most virtuous</a>, who benefited the society around them, should love themselves. By making this connection, he avoided equating self-love with self-centredness.</p> <p>We should love ourselves not out of vanity, he argued, but in virtue of our capacity for good. Does Aristotle, then, provide principled grounds for distinguishing between proper and improper forms of self-love?</p> <h2>Bar too high?</h2> <p>Aristotle might set the bar too high. If only the most virtuous should try to love themselves, this collides head-on with the idea loving yourself can help us improve and become more virtuous – as <a href="https://link.springer.com/chapter/10.1057/9781137383310_6">philosophers Kate Abramson and Adam Leite have argued</a>.</p> <p>Many psychologists claim self-love is important for adopting the kind and compassionate self-perception crucial for overcoming conditions that weaponise self-criticism, like <a href="https://theconversation.com/clinical-perfectionism-when-striving-for-excellence-gets-you-down-43704">clinical perfectionism</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/how-many-people-have-eating-disorders-we-dont-really-know-and-thats-a-worry-121938">eating disorders</a>.</p> <p>More broadly, some argue compassion for oneself is necessary to support honest insights into your own behaviour. They believe we need warm and compassionate self-reflection to avoid the defensiveness that comes with the fear of judgement – even if we’re standing as our own judge.</p> <p>For this reason, a compassionate form of self-love is often necessary to follow Socrates’ advice to “know thyself”, says <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10677-015-9578-4">philosopher Jan Bransen</a>. Positive self-love, by these lights, can help us grow as people.</p> <h2>Self-love ‘misguided and silly’</h2> <p>But not everyone agrees you need self-love to grow. The late philosopher <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/news/2005/nov/29/guardianobituaries.obituaries">Oswald Hanfling</a> was deeply sceptical of this idea. In fact, he argued the notion of loving oneself was misguided and silly. His ideas are mostly rejected by philosophers of love, but pointing out where they go wrong can be useful.</p> <p>When you love someone, he said, you’re prepared to sacrifice your own interests for those of your beloved. But he thought the idea of sacrificing your own interests made no sense – which shows, he concluded, we can’t love ourselves.</p> <p><a href="https://www.jstor.org/stable/3751159">He wrote</a>: "I may sacrifice an immediate satisfaction for the sake of my welfare in the future, as in the case of giving up smoking. In this case, however, my motive is not love but self-interest. What I reveal in giving up smoking is not the extent of my love for myself, but an understanding that the long-term benefits of giving it up are likely to exceed the present satisfaction of going on with it."</p> <p>We often have conflicting interests (think of someone who is agonising over two different career paths) – and it’s not at all strange to sacrifice certain interests for the sake of others.</p> <p>This is not just a question of sacrificing short-term desires in favour of a long-term good, but a matter of sacrificing something of value for your ultimate benefit (or, so you hope).</p> <h2>Self-compassion</h2> <p>Hanfling fails to consider the role of compassionate self-love. While we might understand it’s in our interests to do something (for instance, repair bridges with someone we’ve fallen out with), it might take a compassionate and open disposition towards ourselves to recognise what’s in our best interests.</p> <p>We might need this self-compassion, too, in order to admit our failures – so we can overcome our defensiveness and see clearly how we’re failing to fulfil <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10677-015-9578-4">these interests</a>.</p> <p>Self-acceptance in this context does not mean giving ourselves licence to run roughshod over the interests of those around us, nor to justify our flaws as “valid” rather than work on them.</p> <p>Self-love, as promoted by contemporary psychologists, means standing in a compassionate relationship to ourselves. And there’s nothing contradictory about this idea.</p> <p>Just as we strive to develop a supportive, kind relationship to the people we care about – and just as this doesn’t involve uncritical approval of everything they do – compassionate self-love doesn’t mean abandoning valid self-criticism.</p> <p>In fact, self-compassion has the opposite effect. It promotes comfort with the kind of critical self-assessment that helps us grow – which leads to resilience. It breeds the opposite of narcissistic self-absorption.<!-- Below is The Conversation's page counter tag. Please DO NOT REMOVE. --><img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/205938/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /><!-- End of code. If you don't see any code above, please get new code from the Advanced tab after you click the republish button. The page counter does not collect any personal data. More info: https://theconversation.com/republishing-guidelines --></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/ian-robertson-1372650">Ian Robertson</a>, PhD Candidate (Teaching roles at Macquarie &amp; Wollongong), <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-wollongong-711">University of Wollongong</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images </em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/self-love-might-seem-selfish-but-done-right-its-the-opposite-of-narcissism-205938">original article</a>.</em></p>

Mind

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Chris Brown's candid love life admission

<p>Dr Chris Brown, who has stolen the hearts of many Aussies with his good looks, charm and love for animals has opened up about his love life. </p> <p>In a candid interview with <em>Stellar</em>, the TV personality revealed that he will keep his relationships private until he knows it's strong enough to withstand speculation and online commentary.</p> <p>“The challenge, really, is that it's hard enough to meet the right person, anyway,” he told the publication. </p> <p>He also opened up on what it's like to date in the public eye. </p> <p>“That extra layer of speculation and interest… once you're actually in a relationship it's easy, but it's meeting that person at the start that's really hard. You could potentially be on your first date and you get photographed.</p> <p>“And then there’s a search for who this person is, what her backstory is, and then all of a sudden, it becomes something that it may not be that stage.”</p> <p>The former<em> I’m A Celebrity… Get Me Out Of Here! </em>host added that it's easy to get into a “cycle”, which is “so bizarre it’s almost amusing”.</p> <p>In a previous interview with <a href="https://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/lifestyle/stellar/dr-chris-brown-im-certainly-looking-for-the-one/news-story/1bade13d3b6cd4d8fa89ca2549ab573f" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><em>Stellar</em></a>, he also said that he was "certainly looking for the one" and that his younger self would be "horrified" if he knew that he is still unmarried and without kids. </p> <p>“But it's my doing. I’ve probably prioritised work more than I potentially should have over the past 10 years – to the detriment of my personal life,”  he added. </p> <p>The beloved TV vet also said that he is looking for a serious relationship: "I don’t want to be this person with a history of short to medium-term relationships.”</p> <p>While Chris is known for keeping his love life private, he has had a few relationships in the past. </p> <p>In 2014 he was romantically linked to Bondi-based project manager Hannah Thomas and <em>Home and Away actress </em>Kassandra Clementi. </p> <p>In late 2016, he dated TV producer Kendall Bora, who he was with for two years. Bora has since tied the knot with <em>Weekend Sunrise </em>host Matt Doran. </p> <p>In 2018 he reportedly dated Liv Phyland for a year, before eventually calling it quits although they remain "really good friends" according to<em> Women's Day</em>. </p> <p>He was most recently linked to luxury magazine founder, Brooke Meredith, although they rarely made a public appearance together and reportedly split in late 2022. </p> <p><em>Images: Instagram</em></p>

Relationships

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Couple who found love in chemotherapy raise funds for final trip

<p>Ainslie Plumb, 22, and Joe Fan, 29, found love in an unexpected place, at the Royal Brisbane and Women’s Hospital. </p> <p>The couple met in 2022 while they were both undergoing leukaemia treatment. </p> <p>“We met at an event for young people with cancer and became friends following that,” Plumb told <em>7News</em>. </p> <p>“(We) would hang out during our hospital stays, I asked him out in October 2022 and (we) have been together ever since.” </p> <p>While Plumb successfully entered remission, last October, Fan was told that he was now terminal, as doctors had run out of options to treat his Philadelphia chromosome positive acute lymphoblastic leukaemia. </p> <p>With only months left to live, Fan, who has actively given back to the hospital and cancer community by playing his violin for patients and staff and worked with the Queensland Youth Cancer Service, has one final wish - to travel. </p> <p>The couple have set a <a href="https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-joe-live-his-dreams" target="_blank" rel="noopener">GoFundMe</a>, to help raise funds which cover flights, accommodation and specialised travel insurance, for Fan's final trip.</p> <p>“I go through my cancer treatments and observe the toll that takes on my physical and mental wellbeing,” Fan said.</p> <p>“The end of a trip can hopefully mark the start of another — and I have held onto hope, looked forward and dreamed for one more trip, more time, one more experience with that someone I love.”</p> <p>Their first destination will be Taiwan and Hong Kong, where Fan's parents are from and where he spent a majority of his childhood. </p> <p>They also intend to travel to New Zealand and Western Australia to swim with whale sharks at Ningaloo in the state’s north.</p> <p>“We’re aiming at going at the end of February to give us time to co-ordinate with his doctors around his appointments and infusions, which are all booked in advance,” Plumb said. </p> <p>“We recently reached 75 per cent on the fundraiser and are hoping to hit 100 per cent perhaps by the end of January.”</p> <p>As of today, the couple have successfully raised over $21,000 from their $20,000 goal, and have thanked everyone in their community and strangers for their support. </p> <p>“Truly, words do not suffice,” the couple said.</p> <p><em>Images: 7News </em></p> <p> </p>

Relationships

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Readers Respond: What's a book you love that most people have never heard of?

<p>Looking for a new book to kickstart your year?  Look no further we've got you covered. </p> <p>Here are a few of our reader's book recommendations that you may not have heard of. </p> <p><strong>Ruth Fontaine</strong> - I’m reading <em>We of the Never Never </em>atm. Not sure if it’s still well known. I’ve read it before but awhile back and love it. I love reading how they lived nearly 120 years ago. </p> <p><strong>Elaine Rosenberg</strong> - <em>The Abbey Girls Series</em> by Elsie J Oxenham.</p> <p><strong>Maryika Welter</strong> - <em>The courage to be disliked.</em> ... Furmitake Kogan, Ichiro Kishimi.</p> <p><strong>Janice Stewart</strong> - <em>A Fortunate Life</em> by Albert Facey</p> <p><strong>Suzanne Midson</strong> - <em>On Our Selection</em> by Steele Rudd. Read it when I was about 10/12. Best laugh ever. Australian humour at its best.</p> <p><strong>Julie Anderson</strong> - <em>Episode of Sparrows</em> by Rumor Goddin </p> <p><strong>Nancie Golsby</strong> - <em>The Half Burned Tree</em> by Dympna Cusack</p> <p><strong>June Maynard</strong> - Sahara, by Paula Constant. Preceded by Slow Journey South. A thrilling, actual account of her adventure.</p> <p><strong>Peter Rayner </strong>- <em>Enforcer</em> by Caesar Campbell</p> <p><strong>Meg Milton</strong> - <em>I Heard the Owl Call My Name</em> by Margaret Craven</p> <p><strong>Edie Dore</strong> - <em>The Curious Incident of the Dog </em>in the Night-time by Mark Haddon.</p> <p><strong>Christine Cornforth</strong> - <em>A Grief Observed</em> by CS Lewis. </p> <p><strong>Wendy Oliver</strong> - <em>The Good Earth</em> by Pearl Buck</p> <p>Do you have any other recommendations that we might have missed?</p> <p><em>Image: Getty</em></p> <p> </p>

Books

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4 tips to help your loved one with dementia enjoy the festive season

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/nikki-anne-wilson-342631">Nikki-Anne Wilson</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/unsw-sydney-1414">UNSW Sydney</a></em></p> <p>The festive season is fast approaching, and if you’re organising celebrations with family or friends, you might be grappling with a seemingly endless to-do list. But as you make these plans, it’s important to consider how you can best include any friends or loved ones living with dementia.</p> <p>While no two people experience dementia in the exact same way, <a href="https://www.dementia.org.au/about-dementia/what-is-dementia">dementia</a> often affects the way people process and respond to their environment. Too much stimulation – like a lot of noise and activity at a Christmas party – can be overwhelming and may cause confusion or agitation.</p> <p>Finding ways to create a <a href="https://www.healthdirect.gov.au/creating-a-calming-home-for-people-with-dementia#:%7E:text=The%20physical%20environment%20is%20important,in%20and%20enjoy%20everyday%20activities.">safe environment</a> at home for your loved one with dementia will help maximise the chances everyone has a good time.</p> <h2>1. Plan ahead, but be flexible</h2> <p>Planning celebrations can be overwhelming for everyone involved, and having excessive expectations can raise stress levels. Try to keep <a href="https://www.dementia.org.au/information/about-you/i-am-a-carer-family-member-or-friend">expectations realistic</a> and in line with the current needs of your friend or loved one living with dementia.</p> <p>For example, people with dementia may experience <a href="https://www.dementia.org.au/information/about-you/i-am-a-carer-family-member-or-friend/personal-care/eating">changes in their appetite</a> or food preferences, or difficulties chewing and swallowing. These changes might make some of the things on your festive menu unappetising or difficult to eat. Be guided by the needs and preferences of the person with dementia and keep options limited to one or two special foods if larger banquets are likely to be overwhelming.</p> <p>Things can change quickly for people living with dementia and their abilities will likely <a href="https://www.dementia.org.au/about-dementia/what-is-dementia/progression-of-dementia#:%7E:text=A%20person%20with%20dementia's%20abilities,over%20a%20number%20of%20years.">vary from day to day</a>. Try to be flexible and have a backup plan in place. For special events, plan to record speeches or ceremonies to share when things are quieter.</p> <p>If you’re planning a large event, consider having a smaller gathering with your loved one with dementia and just a few special people.</p> <h2>2. Stick to the familiar</h2> <p>The sudden appearance of lots of decorations <a href="https://www.dementia.org.au/sites/default/files/helpsheets/Helpsheet-TipsToAssistSocialEngagement03-TipsForHolidayCheer_english.pdf">may be overwhelming</a> for a person with dementia and trigger a negative sensory reaction or distress. Ensure decorations are safe and familiar and put them up slowly over a period of a few days.</p> <p>Try to also stick to familiar traditions and routines. <a href="https://www.alz.org/help-support/caregiving/daily-care/daily-care-plan">Daily routines</a> are an important way of supporting people with dementia and sudden changes <a href="https://memory.ucsf.edu/caregiving-support/behavior-personality-changes#I-Investigate-Possible-Causes">may result in agitation and distress</a>. Stick to routine eating, bathing, and rest times where possible throughout the holiday period.</p> <p>For many people with dementia, long-term memories are less affected than <a href="https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/about-dementia/symptoms-and-diagnosis/symptoms/memory-loss">more recent memories</a>. Familiar family traditions can therefore be a good way to <a href="https://www.dementia.org.au/national/support-and-services/carers/therapies-and-communication-approaches">reminisce</a>. Family keepsakes or <a href="https://www.dementia.org.au/sites/default/files/20110303-NSW-LifeHistoryBook.pdf">memory books</a> can also help connect with stories from past celebrations.</p> <h2>3. Have a quiet space</h2> <p>Try to have <a href="https://www.scie.org.uk/dementia/supporting-people-with-dementia/dementia-friendly-environments/noise.asp">a quiet place</a> where the person living with dementia can go if things become overwhelming. Designating a support person who can stay with them throughout the day and take them to a separate room or area away from the action can help to keep things calm.</p> <p>Having some familiar objects or <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5432607/#:%7E:text=Passive%20music%20listening%20is%20reported,et%20al.%2C%202013">quiet music</a> in the space can be a good way to block out the noise of activities and reduce agitation.</p> <h2>4. Make sure everyone has a part</h2> <p>Everyone wants to feel a part of the activities on a special day, including people living with dementia. Ensuring everyone has a role to play may mean modifying tasks to suit the abilities of the person with dementia.</p> <p>For example, if you’re hosting an event at home, try to get your friend or relative with dementia involved in the kitchen by tossing the salad or helping to set the table.</p> <p>People with dementia are still the same person, even if their abilities have changed or they can no longer communicate their needs and feelings like they used to. It’s important to treat everyone with dignity and try to include your friends and loved ones with dementia in celebrations whenever possible.</p> <h2>Sometimes, you can’t be together</h2> <p>Despite the best laid plans, sometimes it won’t be possible to share in festive celebrations with your loved one living with dementia. More advanced dementia, <a href="https://www.health.nsw.gov.au/Infectious/covid-19/Pages/racf-latest-advice.aspx">aged care visitor restrictions</a> or even just distance can keep many of us apart from our loved ones.</p> <p>Be prepared for this separation to bring up your own feelings of <a href="https://www.alz.org/help-support/caregiving/caregiver-health/grief-loss-as-alzheimers-progresses">grief or sadness</a>. Look after your mental health as well as the person with dementia.</p> <p>Caring responsibilities still largely <a href="https://www.pmc.gov.au/sites/default/files/resource/download/national-strategy-gender-equality-discussion-paper_0.pdf">fall to women</a> and it’s important to share the load. Where possible, the holidays can be a good time to think about giving primary carers a break to help them recharge for the year ahead.</p> <p>If you’re caring for someone with dementia and need support, <a href="https://www.dementia.org.au/support">Dementia Australia</a> or <a href="https://www.carergateway.gov.au/about?utm_source=google&amp;utm_medium=paid-search&amp;utm_campaign=10841470526&amp;utm_adgroup=146956908840&amp;utm_term=&amp;gclid=CjwKCAjw9-6oBhBaEiwAHv1QvI1uJVJRppcDJtdgYNTDeObUk1tyrNUtLGBqpp3ytjb_khYkGExICBoC_5EQAvD_BwE">Carer Gateway</a> offer useful resources.<!-- Below is The Conversation's page counter tag. Please DO NOT REMOVE. --><img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/214944/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /><!-- End of code. If you don't see any code above, please get new code from the Advanced tab after you click the republish button. The page counter does not collect any personal data. More info: https://theconversation.com/republishing-guidelines --></p> <p><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/nikki-anne-wilson-342631"><em>Nikki-Anne Wilson</em></a><em>, Postdoctoral Research Fellow, Neuroscience Research Australia (NeuRA), <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/unsw-sydney-1414">UNSW Sydney</a></em></p> <p><em>Image </em><em>credits: Getty Images</em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/4-tips-to-help-your-loved-one-with-dementia-enjoy-the-festive-season-214944">original article</a>.</em></p>

Caring

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"It feels liberating": Nat Bass' surprising update on her love life post-divorce

<p>After months of trying to keep her divorce private, Natalie Bassingthwaighte has spoken out about her marriage breakdown, and finding love with a woman. </p> <p>Earlier this year, the Australian singer parted ways with her second husband, and longtime Rogue Traders bandmate, Cameron McGlinchey, although the pair never addressed the split personally. </p> <p>Now, three months on, Nat Bass has bared all in a candid interview with <em>Stellar</em> magazine, sharing why she chose to stay silent on her divorce, and how "overwhelming" it was when the press finally found out. </p> <p>“[I got a] phone call; I’d been waiting for it to happen, but [was] trying to protect our inner sanctum for so long, trying to navigate grief and really sit in it and feel it all. It hurts, trying to navigate what the next bits look like, especially as a couple who have two children, who work together,” she said. </p> <p>“So having public interest, I won’t lie, was terrifying from the get-go. Since it first happened, I was waiting for someone to say something. And it just felt like I wasn’t ready."</p> <p>Despite going their separate ways after 12 years of marriage, Nat says she doesn't look at her divorce as a failure, given all the love she still has for her ex-husband.</p> <p>“We had a very successful marriage. It was very beautiful. We’ve done amazing things together, achieved a lot and have two incredible children. We admire and respect each other, and there’s love there. It’s just different,” she said. </p> <p>After her divorce, Nat is moving on and finding love in unexpected places: with a woman. </p> <p>Bassingthwaighte said her “beautiful” new relationship “with a woman who makes my heart smile and makes me happy” has been difficult to navigate in the public eye, as she has yet to publicly identify her new partner. </p> <p>Struggling with revealing her same-sex relationship to the world, Nat called her ex-husband for advice. </p> <p>“I rang Cam and I was hysterical. And he said, ‘It’s OK. This is your truth and you now have to sit in it and stand in it and own it.’ So to have that support from him has been nothing short of beautiful, and I’m very grateful for it,” she says.</p> <p>“Now I can speak from my own mouth, on my own truth, and that feels rewarding. I’m OK. Everything is OK, and everyone is OK. We’re in a good space. It feels liberating."</p> <p><em>Image credits: Instagram / Stellar </em></p>

Relationships

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"A forever love": Johnny Ruffo's girlfriend shares heartfelt tribute

<p>Tahnee Sims has shared a heartfelt tribute to her late boyfriend, <em>Home and Away</em> star Johnny Ruffo just nine days after his <a href="https://www.oversixty.com.au/health/caring/beautiful-soul-johnny-ruffo-passes-away-at-35" target="_blank" rel="noopener">passing</a>. </p> <p>Ruffo died earlier this month at just 35-years-old after a long battler with brain cancer. </p> <p>Sims took to Instagram to share an emotional video tribute to Ruffo, with clips of the sweet moments they shared together with the song <em>Always Remember Us This Way </em>from the film <em>A Star is Born</em>.</p> <p>"A forever love," she captioned the video, with a broken heart emoji. </p> <p>Sims shared a few clips of the couple throughout the years, including walking on the beach, playing in snow, and a few everyday moments like Ruffo dancing in the living room and them having dinner together. </p> <p>The couple first met at a dance studio in 2015, before Ruffo was diagnosed with brain cancer two years later, and underwent surgery to remove the tumour. </p> <p>In 2020 he revealed that his cancer was in remission and a few years later confirmed it was terminal. </p> <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/reel/Cz0nnyLRMEp/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/reel/Cz0nnyLRMEp/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by Tahnee Sims (@tahneesims)</a></p> </div> </blockquote> <p>Many fans and friends took to the comments to share their condolences for Sims. </p> <p>"Darling…. I can’t imagine what you are going through. In our thoughts and prayers," wrote <em>Home and Away</em> actress Lynne McGranger. </p> <p>"Cannot wait to give you the biggest hug . We all loved Johnny so much but he was your honey and your soul mate and we ache for you," she added with a love heart emojis. </p> <p>"Oh Lynnie, I thought of you as soon as I heard the news. Lots of love to you xxxx," added Aussie actress Sam Frost.</p> <p>"My heart is shattered for you 😔 What a beautiful love you both shared and how lucky you both were to have found one another," one fan commented. </p> <p>"Johnny was so lucky to have you in his life, the love and support you give him will never be forgotten he will be watching over you as ur guardian angel,"  another added. </p> <p>"Sending you so much love and strength beautiful Tahnee! Johnny will forever live on through your heart," commented a third. </p> <p><em>Images: Instagram</em></p> <p> </p>

Caring

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Love conquers critics as Vikki Campion hits back at "unkind" comments on wedding to Barnaby Joyce

<p>Love triumphed over adversity last weekend as Vikki Campion, former staffer and <em>Saturday Telegraph</em> columnist, <a href="https://www.oversixty.com.au/lifestyle/family-pets/barnaby-joyce-and-vikki-campion-tie-the-knot-in-bush-bash-wedding" target="_blank" rel="noopener">celebrated her wedding</a> to high-profile Nationals MP Barnaby Joyce at his family's property in Woolbrook, NSW. Despite the picturesque setting and the couple's genuine joy, the event faced criticism and name-calling, prompting Campion to address the detractors in a powerful statement.</p> <p>In her <a href="https://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/news/opinion/vikki-campion-my-perfect-wedding-and-the-barnaby-joyce-that-i-know-and-love/news-story/5ed16bef0795a10e2e0859cc161f5cbf" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><em>Saturday Telegraph</em></a> column entitled "My perfect wedding and the Barnaby Joyce that I know and love"<span style="font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, 'Segoe UI', Roboto, Oxygen, Ubuntu, Cantarell, 'Open Sans', 'Helvetica Neue', sans-serif;">, Campion dismissed the negative comments, saying, "</span>In the country, they say one man’s trash is another’s treasure. Well, I found mine ... <span style="font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, 'Segoe UI', Roboto, Oxygen, Ubuntu, Cantarell, 'Open Sans', 'Helvetica Neue', sans-serif;">Call it trash all you like. It will always be perfect to us." </span></p> <p><span style="font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, 'Segoe UI', Roboto, Oxygen, Ubuntu, Cantarell, 'Open Sans', 'Helvetica Neue', sans-serif;">She remained resilient in the face of harsh judgments, emphasising that the unkind remarks had no impact on her or her husband. Instead, she focused on the love they shared, the friends who supported them, and the unique lifestyle they embraced.</span></p> <p>Campion took the opportunity to highlight the real treasure of the event: the local community. In her exclusive op-ed, she expressed gratitude for the diverse group of people who came together to make the celebration unforgettable. The wedding, she explained, brought together individuals from different backgrounds and walks of life, transcending cultural, political and socioeconomic boundaries.</p> <p>The imagery of the event painted a vivid picture of a true "bush bash," complete with Akubras, ciggies, beer and rum. The celebration, described as a return to "country style," featured over 80 guests who arrived in 4WDs, reflecting the down-to-earth atmosphere that defined the day.</p> <p>The pink and ivory-themed wedding showcased Campion in a strapless cream tulle dress with a long train, complemented by gold earrings and heeled black cowboy boots. Despite the criticism, pictures captured the couple's genuine happiness as they mingled with guests, five years after their relationship first became public.</p> <p>The wedding also marked a reunion with Joyce's young sons, Thomas and Sebastian, aged four and five, while his four adult daughters were notably absent. The absence of Joyce's adult daughters <a href="https://www.oversixty.com.au/lifestyle/family-pets/i-ve-moved-on-barnaby-joyce-s-former-wife-speaks-out-after-media-circus-wedding" target="_blank" rel="noopener">stirred earlier controversies</a>, adding another layer to the media scrutiny surrounding the event.</p> <p>Despite the tumultuous journey that led to this moment – Joyce's resignation as deputy prime minister and Nationals leader following the exposure of their relationship – the couple's commitment to each other remained unshaken. The ceremony took place at a location with special meaning to Joyce, creating a touching and sentimental atmosphere.</p> <p>The wedding's inclusive nature, with guests from various backgrounds and perspectives, symbolised the couple's ability to transcend the public scrutiny that had surrounded them. Campion's response to critics showcased her resilience and determination to focus on the positives, celebrating the love that brought them together.</p> <p>As Vikki Campion and Barnaby Joyce embark on this new chapter of their lives, they do so with the unwavering belief that their wedding, labelled "trash" by some, will forever be perfect in their hearts. Love prevailed over judgment, and the couple's ability to rise above the criticism serves as a testament to the strength of their bond.</p> <p><em>Images: Office of the Deputy Prime Minister / Instagram</em></p>

Relationships

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Gordon Ramsay welcomes another "bundle of love"

<p>Gordon Ramsay is a father-of-six!</p> <p>The 57-year-old celebrity chef took to Instagram to announce the heartwarming news that his wife Tana, 49, had given birth to an adorable baby boy. </p> <p>"What an amazing birthday present please welcome Jesse James Ramsay, 7lbs 10oz whopper!!" he captioned the photo of him kissing his newborn on the head, while his wife cradled him in her arms. </p> <p>"One more bundle of love to the Ramsay brigade!! 3 boys, 3 girls…. Done," Ramsay added. </p> <p>In a few other photos, Tana is seen glowing with happiness as she held baby Jesse in her arms. </p> <p>Tana also took to Instagram to share that their family had been "blessed" with baby Jesse's arrival. </p> <p>"It's been a nerve wracking 9 months but we've made it and we have been blessed with this little bundle," she began. </p> <p>"Ramsay family definitely complete. Jesse James Ramsay we love you so much," she wrote with a red heart emoji. </p> <p>Gordon and Tana are already parents to five children: Megan, 25, twins Jack and Holly, 23, Tilly, 22, and Oscar, four.</p> <p>The pair, who have been married for 27 years, have kept their latest pregnancy a secret, following reports that Tana had wanted another child.</p> <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/Czg4DJVRYX7/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/Czg4DJVRYX7/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by Gordon Ramsay (@gordongram)</a></p> </div> </blockquote> <p>The happy couple were flooded with congratulatory messages from celebrity friends and fans. </p> <p>"Wow congratulations guys what lovely news," wrote British TV presenter and model, Kirsty Gallacher.</p> <p>"Fantastic! Congratulations x," British actor and comedian Paddy McGuinnes wrote, while Sky Sports F1 reporter Natalie Pinkham added: "Completely wonderful ❤️🙌👏😍 huge congratulations ❤️"</p> <p>"You two amaze me! Congratulations ❤️" wrote one fan. </p> <p>"Great stuff congrats big man 👏❤️" added another. </p> <p>"Congratulations! What a beautiful gift 💙" added a third. </p> <p><em>Images: Instagram</em></p>

Family & Pets

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"You were loved": Tributes flow over tragic passing of Matthew Perry

<p>The world was left in shock and mourning as news broke of the tragic death of beloved actor Matthew Perry, best known for his iconic role as Chandler Bing on the hit sitcom <em>Friends</em>.</p> <p>The 54-year-old actor passed away in an apparent drowning accident at his Los Angeles home, leaving a void in the hearts of countless fans and colleagues.</p> <p>Emergency services were summoned to Perry's residence in the Pacific Palisades neighbourhood after an assistant found him unresponsive. Initial reports indicated that it was a "water rescue or water emergency". Disturbingly, a 911 call made from Perry's home shortly before first responders arrived mentioned the word "drowning." The actor was found unresponsive in his jacuzzi, where his life was tragically cut short.</p> <p>In the aftermath of this heartbreaking incident, the Los Angeles Police Department confirmed the death investigation at Perry's residence, marking the untimely end of a talented and cherished actor.</p> <p>The circumstances surrounding Perry's death remain the subject of public speculation. While law enforcement sources reported that no drugs were discovered at the scene and foul play is not suspected, the investigation continues.</p> <p>The family, including his mother Suzanne Morrison, father John Bennett Perry, and stepfather Dateline NBC's Keith Morrison, issued a statement expressing their profound grief and gratitude for the outpouring of love from fans.</p> <p>"We are heartbroken by the tragic loss of our beloved son and brother," the family said. "Matthew brought so much joy to the world, both as an actor and a friend. You all meant so much to him, and we appreciate the tremendous outpouring of love."</p> <p>In the dispatch audio obtained by TMZ, emergency responders referenced a "drowning" incident. While it is reported that Perry was found in a hot tub, a source later claimed that he had just returned home from a game of pickleball.</p> <p>Perry's passing has sent shockwaves through the entertainment industry and beyond. Former colleagues and fellow stars have paid their heartfelt tributes to the actor who brought laughter to millions with his portrayal of Chandler Bing.</p> <p>Maggie Wheeler, who portrayed Chandler's unforgettable on-again, off-again girlfriend, Janice, in <em>Friends</em>, expressed her gratitude for the joy Perry brought into people's lives. She shared on Instagram, "The joy Matthew brought to so many in his too short lifetime will live on. I feel so very blessed by every creative moment we shared."</p> <p>Morgan Fairchild, who played Chandler's mother, Nora Bing, described herself as "heartbroken" by the untimely loss of her "son". She acknowledged the brilliance of the young actor and the shock that this tragedy has brought to the entertainment world.</p> <p>Even Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau, who knew Perry from their shared history when Perry's mother worked as an aide to Trudeau's father, former Canadian Prime Minister Pierre Trudeau, expressed his grief. Trudeau remembered the schoolyard games they played and the worldwide joy that Perry brought to fans. He said, "Thanks for all the laughs, Matthew. You were loved – and you will be missed."</p> <p>Piers Morgan, the renowned broadcaster and journalist, acknowledged Perry's talent as an actor but also recognised the struggles he faced. Perry's candid autobiography about his battle with addiction left a profound impact, and his passing is a stark reminder of the difficulties he endured.</p> <p>Warner Bros Television Group, which produced <em>Friends</em> for its entire run, released a statement expressing their devastation over the loss of their dear friend. “We are devastated by the passing of our dear friend Matthew Perry. Matthew was an incredibly gifted actor and an indelible part of the Warner Bros Television Group family. The impact of his comedic genius was felt around the world, and his legacy will live on in the hearts of so many. This is a heartbreaking day, and we send our love to his family, his loved ones, and all of his devoted fans.”</p> <p>NBC, the network that aired <em>Friends</em>, also paid tribute to the late actor, highlighting the immense joy he brought to millions through his pitch-perfect comedic timing and wry wit. They emphasised that his legacy will continue to live on through countless generations.</p> <p>The passing of Matthew Perry is a loss not only for his family and friends but also for the countless individuals whose lives were brightened by his humour and talent. His portrayal of Chandler Bing on Friends remains etched in the hearts of fans around the world, and his memory will live on as an enduring source of laughter and joy.</p> <p><em>Images: Getty / NBC / Instagram</em></p>

Caring

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"Uniquely, magically, indescribably us": Read the emotional love letter from Suzanne Somers' husband

<p>Just one day before her death, Suzanne Somers' husband gave her a handwritten love letter as part of an early birthday present. </p> <p>Somers' husband, Alan Hamel, gave the letter to his wife of 45 years just 24 hours before she passed away at the age of 76. </p> <p>According to Somers' publicist, R. Couri Hay, Hamel “gave it to her a day early and she read the poem and went to bed and later died peacefully in her sleep.”</p> <p>The emotional poem was an expression of love from Somers' husband, as he struggled to define their intense relationships. </p> <p>“Love I use it every day, sometimes several times a day. I use it at the end of emails to my loving family. I even use it in emails to close friends. I use it when I’m leaving the house,” the note began, via <em><a href="https://people.com/read-love-letter-suzanne-somers-husband-alan-hamel-wrote-to-her-day-before-her-death-8358234">People</a></em>. </p> <p>“There’s love, then love you and I love you!! Therein lies some of the different ways we use love. Sometimes I feel obliged to use love, responding to someone who signed love in their email, when I’m uncomfortable using love but I use it anyway.</p> <p>“I also use love to describe a great meal. I use it to express how I feel about a show on Netflix. I often use love referring to my home, my cat Gloria, to things Gloria does, to the taste of a cantaloupe I grew in my garden.”</p> <p>“I love the taste of a freshly harvested organic royal jumbo medjool date. I love biting a fig off the tree. I love watching two giant blackbirds who live nearby swooping by my window in a power dive. My daily life encompasses things and people I love and things and people I am indifferent to,” he continued.</p> <p>“I could go on ad infinitum, but you get it. What brand of love do I feel for my wife Suzanne? Can I find it in any of the above? A resounding no!!!! There is no version of the word that is applicable to Suzanne and I even use the word applicable advisedly.”</p> <p>“The closest version in words isn’t even close. It’s not even a fraction of a fraction of a fraction. Unconditional love does not do it. I’ll take a bullet for you doesn’t do it. I weep when I think about my feelings for you. Feelings… That’s getting close, but not all the way.”</p> <p>“55 years together, 46 married and not even one hour apart for 42 of those years. Even that doesn’t do it,” he added. “Even going to bed at 6 o’clock and holding hands while we sleep doesn’t do it. Staring at your beautiful face while you sleep doesn’t do it.”</p> <p>“I’m back to feelings. There are no words,” he concluded. “There are no actions. No promises. No declarations. Even the green shaded scholars of the Oxford University Press have spent 150 years and still have failed to come up with that one word. So I will call it, ‘Us,’ uniquely, magically, indescribably wonderful ‘Us.’”</p> <p>Somers and Hamel tied the knot in 1977, giving them 45 years together as husband and wife. </p> <p>Somers died on Sunday morning after “an aggressive form of breast cancer for over 23 years,” her publicist said in a statement.</p> <p>Suzanne was best known for playing Chrissy Snow on the 1970s sitcom <em>Three’s Company</em> and Carol Foster Lambert on the ’90s family comedy <em>Step by Step</em>.</p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images </em></p>

Caring

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How to tell if your loved one is depressed

<p>Around one in 10 people suffer from depression and anxiety, meaning it’s likely at some stage in your life someone you know will be suffering and need your help. These are five of the less-obvious signs and symptoms that a friend or family member might be going through a hard time.</p> <p><strong>1. They seem exhausted all the time</strong></p> <p>Changes to a sleeping patterns can be a sign of depression, whether it’s not sleeping enough or sleeping too much.  </p> <p>Tip: Help your loved one by taking them out for the day to re-set their body clock.</p> <p><strong>2. They never want to socialise anymore</strong></p> <p>If your loved one is finding it difficult to leave the house and attend any social events, even for a catch-up over coffee, that they would normally enjoy, it could be a sign</p> <p>Tip: Recognise that at the time it is very hard for your loved one to go out and socialise. Reassure them that you’d love to catch-up with them, and if it does get too much that you’re happy to do something they’d be happy with.</p> <p><strong>3. They get frustrated at everything</strong></p> <p>Does your loved one seem to be losing their patience more than usual? Anger and irritability, more than usual, can be a sign of depression.</p> <p>Tip: Chat to your friend about their feelings of frustration and irritability. You will be better placed to see if it’s a passing mood or longer-term change.</p> <p><strong>4. Their appetite has changed</strong></p> <p>Whether your loved one is constantly and consistently “not hungry” or they’re eating a lot more than usual and gaining weight, changes in appetite are a common sign of depression.</p> <p>Tip: People living with depression are often exhausted, where the thought of making meals or even what to eat, can be an overwhelming decision. Help prepare some meals for your loved one.</p> <p><strong>5. They’ve suddenly lost self-confidence</strong></p> <p>A loss of self-confidence and self-esteem is a common sign of depression. When a loved one starts to feel like everything they do is rubbish, it can be difficult to feel otherwise.</p> <p>Tip: When a loved one says they feel useless, reassure them with specific examples and evidence that it’s not true at all.</p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p>

Caring

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Outpouring of love for Kerri-Anne Kennerley following sad loss

<p>Kerri-Anne Kennerley has shared a sad update following the loss of her pet dog,  Digger. </p> <p>The former TV presenter took to Instagram to share a series of photos of the moments she shared with her dog, that she raised since he was a pup. </p> <p>"Digger is now at peace," she began the post. </p> <p>"He was the most loving dog. He missed John and my mum dearly. These photos tell a lot of his story."</p> <p>She shared a family photo of her posing with her late husband John, with baby Digger in her arms. In a few other photos she shared a much older digger playing with her mum, standing next to a flower, and covered in mud to highlight the dog's friendly personality. </p> <p>"He loved water… except a bath. He absolutely loved playing in the mud. He was so smiley and always fetched me toys.</p> <p>"He used to sleep in our bed. He was never grumpy and never had a fight in his life. All my love Digger, love mum," she concluded the post.</p> <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/CxXrGJTy8Rl/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/CxXrGJTy8Rl/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by Kak 💁🏼‍♀️ (@kerriannekennerley)</a></p> </div> </blockquote> <p>Fellow celebrities rushed to the comments to comfort the 69-year-old. </p> <p>"Oh KAK I'm so sorry! I know how much you loved him, and he you 💔You were both blessed," fellow TV presenter Melissa Doyle said. </p> <p>"Sending you so much love darling heart. What a wonderful baby he was," actor Hugh Sheridan wrote.</p> <p>"Lots of love honey. Hope the wonderful memories help 🙏🏼💙" <em>Home and Away </em>actress<em> </em>Lynne McGranger wrote. </p> <p>"Sending you lots of love beautiful angel, so sorry for your loss. We send you big hugs &amp; love, Mitchie and Mark❤️" the Block stars Mitchie and Mark wrote.</p> <p>"Sending lots of love ❤️" Jess Rowe wrote. </p> <p>The loss comes after the former TV presenter recently commemorated her and her late husband's 39th wedding anniversary.</p> <p>The pair got married in 1984, and John passed away in 2019 after many health struggles following a fall in 2016 that resulted in a neck injury which caused him to be paralysed. </p> <p><em>Images: Instagram</em></p>

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Lisa Curry's emotional post sparks a wave of support and love

<p>Lisa Curry has shared a heartfelt tribute on the third anniversary of her daughter Jaimi's death. </p> <p>Jaimi passed away in 2020 after a long health battle, at just 33 years old, and is the daughter of Lisa and former Ironman Grant Kenny. </p> <p>Lisa took to Instagram to commemorate her daughter with a painting of Jaimi that she commissioned to a local artist, and share her grief journey. </p> <p>"3 years ago, our beautiful daughter Jaimi took her last breath. We all love you and miss you everyday Jaimi and hope you’re at peace. It still feels like yesterday," she began the long and emotional post. </p> <p>“We all love you and miss you every day Jaimi and hope you’re at peace.</p> <p>“It’s been a s*** and sad week, where I’ve needed lots of hugs and am constantly wiping my tears away. I tell myself to breathe because I know it’s a bad day, not a bad life.</p> <p>“I’m doing ok ... but feeling sad on the inside while trying to be happy on the outside is overwhelming and feels exhausting," she added. </p> <p>Lisa also said that sometimes she can barely recognise herself in the mirror because she looks like "a mess" and other times she sees "the old Lisa." </p> <p>"The path to recovery is long and can only be done in my own time.</p> <p>"The last 3 years has been a long, slow, painful, uneventful decline in my health and my soul. I talk out loud, frustratingly scolding myself to get my s*** together. There are days when I don’t care about anything.</p> <p>"I need to change that talk to be more positive and give myself permission that it’s ok to move forward.</p> <p>"Moving on doesn’t mean letting go. I will never let her go," she added. </p> <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/CxJb9jkhg5C/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/CxJb9jkhg5C/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by Lisa Curry AO (@lisacurry)</a></p> </div> </blockquote> <p>Lisa then said that she needed to start looking after herself so she can be "the mother, grannie, wife and friend that I should be." </p> <p>She then thanked local artist Donna Munro for the beautiful painting of her daughter, before asking her fans if they were okay, after noting that it was  R U OK Day. </p> <p>She reminded fans to talk to someone and sent “Love and strength to everyone who’s struggling for whatever reason.”</p> <p>Her followers flocked to the comments to offer their love and support, and thanked her for being open and vulnerable. </p> <p>“Do what you can today Lisa and let tomorrow take care of the rest. Your baby mattered, your grief at her loss is justifiable. Don’t punish yourself for not having a heart of stone. One step after another, no time limit. ❤️🙏🌸” wrote one fan. </p> <p>“Sending love, Lisa. Can’t imagine your pain," commented another. </p> <p>“You’re very brave Lisa, sending strength and a big hug, we who have lost a piece of our heart knows how hard it is," wrote a third. </p> <p>"The words I say will never ease the pain but know you are a beautiful strong woman who inspires more people than you would ever know with your honest and raw feelings on grief. Hugs to you," commented a fourth. </p> <p>"I hope that you find a little comfort in the fact that you would have helped so many other people going through similar grief. Sending much needed hugs and sunshine," added another. </p> <p><em>Images: Instagram</em></p>

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Outpouring of love after tragic loss of twin daughters

<p><strong>WARNING: DISTRESSING CONTENT</strong></p> <p>A devastated couple from Jacksonville, Florida, has issued a haunting warning following the tragic demise of their twin four-year-old girls, who tragically lost their lives after an unfortunate incident involving their toy chest.</p> <p>On the night of September 1, Don Starr, a loving father, bid his son Kellan and daughter Aurora goodnight, blissfully unaware that it would be the last time he would do so.</p> <p>The following morning, the twins were discovered lifeless inside their wooden toy box by their older brother. The heartbroken sibling had stumbled upon a chilling scene as he found the pair tightly huddled within the confines of the chest, locked in each other's arms.</p> <p>The older brother, baffled and distressed, recounted that they appeared to be merely "being silly" or "sleeping" within the toy chest.</p> <p>It was later revealed that Kellan and Aurora had awakened during the night and decided to seek refuge in their toy box, snuggling up for warmth and comfort before drifting back into slumber.</p> <p>Tragically, the lid of the toy box had inadvertently closed, creating a "soundproof" and "airtight" environment. The twins eventually ran out of oxygen, suffocating in their sleep.</p> <p>Overwhelmed with grief, their mother, Sadie Myers, took to social media to share her agony and raise awareness about the potential dangers posed by toy boxes.</p> <p>In a poignant Facebook post, she wrote:</p> <p>“Not many will know the pain of losing two children at the same time and losing them in a way that makes no sense. But I have to believe that something in this universe chose them specifically, maybe to protect them from some future tragedy, or maybe because their souls were too perfect for this world.</p> <p>“Last Friday night while I was at work, Don put the boys and the twins to bed, then soon after went to bed himself. When I got home from work a couple hours later I looked in at all the kids like usual to make sure they were sleeping, then ate my dinner and went to sleep.</p> <p>“At some point early that morning the twins woke each other up and decided they wanted to play in their room rather than sleep. They do this a lot, it’s just a twin thing I guess. They usually fall asleep in some weird place in their room … Friday night the weird place they decided to snuggle up and go back to sleep was in their cedar toy chest, that we use to store all their stuffed animals.”</p> <p>Unbeknownst to Sadie, the chest's lid had shut, rendering it airtight and soundproof. The twins lay inside, head to toe, with their arms draped over each other. “So as they slept, all snuggled up together, they slowly ran out of oxygen within a couple of hours and passed away. They never even knew it was happening. There was no sudden gasp for air, it was a very slow transition from sleep to passing on.”</p> <p>The following morning, the family assumed that the twins were still asleep, unaware of the tragedy that had unfolded. It was their older son Axton who made the grim discovery, finding them innocently "sleeping" in the toy box.</p> <p>As Sadie pleaded with other parents to eliminate any such toy chests from their homes to prevent similar tragedies, she acknowledged the senselessness of the loss, a pain that would never truly subside.</p> <p>“I hope knowing this helps in some way, and I hope if you have a toy box like this that you destroy it immediately!" she urged. “Please keep me and my family in your hearts and prayers, because this will never get easier for us.”</p> <p>In the wake of this unimaginable tragedy, Sadie vowed that her family would seek therapy to help them navigate their profound loss. She pledged to "continue to live" for her two older sons, emphasising the importance of cherishing the memories of her departed twins.</p> <p>A <a href="https://www.gofundme.com/f/aurora-and-kellan-starr" target="_blank" rel="noopener">GoFundMe</a> page has been set up to assist them during this trying period, with the initial $10,000 target already being tripled. A recent update by Deanna Myers - on behalf of Sadie and Donn - reads:</p> <p>"I don’t really know how to say thank you in a way that reflects how grateful we are to all of you. Those words aren’t good enough to express the gratitude we all feel. We’ve talked about this page and how it means so much just knowing that so many people are thinking about us and the beautiful babies we lost. Thank you to everyone helping here and at home. The support we’ve gotten from family and friends and everyone who’s donated is overwhelming. It won’t be taken for granted."</p> <p><em>Images: GoFundMe</em></p> <p><span style="font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, 'Segoe UI', Roboto, Oxygen, Ubuntu, Cantarell, 'Open Sans', 'Helvetica Neue', sans-serif;"> </span></p>

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Loved ones gather to mourn father and children killed in house fire

<p>Loved ones have gathered to remember the loving father and his five children who were killed in a house fire in Brisbane earlier this month. </p> <p>Wayne Godinet, and his five children – Zac, 11, Harry, 10, Kyza, 4, Noah, 4, and Nicky, 3 – were killed in the deadly blaze on August 7th on Russell Island. </p> <p>On Wednesday, family and friends travelled from interstate and from New Zealand to remember the five children and Wayne, who died trying to protect his kids. </p> <p>"The actions of Wayne on that fateful day I think was indicative of the love he has for his children," a spokesperson for the family said at the memorial</p> <p>"A lot of us really feel that he died a hero."</p> <p>The children's mother, Samantha Stephenson, was unable to attend the service, leaving her sister Christina to step in to deliver a personal eulogy. </p> <p>"If you could leave here with a message from our family today it would be to be grateful for your children's messy room, for taking your child to their soccer game, for chasing your kids around the park," she said. </p> <p>Samantha has been left <a href="https://oversixty.com.au/lifestyle/family-pets/update-on-distraught-mother-who-escaped-deadly-house-fire" target="_blank" rel="noopener">devastated</a> by the tragedy, with family friend Simon Gordon telling <em>Sunrise</em> how dedicated she was as a mother. </p> <p dir="ltr">“She was a loving mother to the children,” Gordon told <em>Sunrise</em>. “What she is going through is unbelievable.”</p> <p dir="ltr">“Every time I ever met the family, the kids came first. They love the kids.”</p> <p>Police are still working tirelessly to determine the cause of the devastating blaze, but said the fire is not being treated as suspicious. </p> <p><em>Image credits: Nine</em></p>

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