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Man destroys girlfriend’s family heirloom, doesn’t understand why she’s upset

<p dir="ltr">A man has been left scratching his head after online commentators tore him to shreds for destroying a family heirloom belonging to his girlfriend.</p> <p dir="ltr">The man posted to Reddit’s ‘Am I the A******’ forum, where people go to ask strangers to adjudicate their interpersonal disputes, deciding who was in the wrong in any given situation.</p> <p dir="ltr">This man wanted to propose to his girlfriend using a ring that had sentimental value, so when he found out that her late grandmother had left her a ring, he decided to remove a diamond from the ring and use that in a new engagement ring.</p> <p dir="ltr">Unfortunately, when he proposed with the new ring, the girlfriend hated it. Her grandmother had only recently passed away in September, and the pair were close as she was her only granddaughter.</p> <p dir="ltr">The man asked his girlfriend’s mother if she thought his idea was a good one, and the mother said that as much as she loved the idea, she didn’t know if her daughter would, and told him to think about it.</p> <p dir="ltr">Despite this caution, he went ahead with his plan, as he “couldn’t find anything else [he] liked as much”. He said that the resulting ring was beautiful, and he thought she would love the sentiment of it.</p> <p dir="ltr">When he proposed and she immediately accepted, he was thrilled, until she saw the ring and her reaction changed. He wrote, “She told me I’d practically vandalized and ruined the only meaningful thing of her grandmothers that she had and that I should have asked. I went to her mom for support, but she just kept saying she warned me that my girlfriend might not like the idea. She said yes to my proposal but refuses to wear the ring, which I just think is disrespectful considering how much money and thought went into it.”</p> <p dir="ltr">Commenters were quick to side with the now-fiancée, with one writing “YOU DESTROYED her one family heirloom! You were disrespectful and STOLE her property and then had it destroyed,” while another wrote, “This dude deserves no sympathy, and I cannot even believe he can even question whether he’s wrong,” and several users suggested she dump him.</p> <p dir="ltr">The best laid plans of mice and men…</p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Image: Tetra Images/Jamie Grill</em></p>

Relationships

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23-year-old gets married in grandmother’s wedding dress

<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Allie Livingwater found her grandmother’s wedding dress in her basement in 2016, and instantly knew she wanted it to be her “something borrowed” for her own wedding. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The 23-year-old tied the knot in Massachusetts in September, dressed in her 88-year-old grandmother’s white lace gown. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">After being stored in a garbage bag since 1961, the dress needed a good spruce up, but required no alterations for Allie to fit into it. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The incredible gesture was a sentimental one for Allie, as she grew up with her grandmother Anne after the </span><span style="font-weight: 400;">family moved into her home when her husband passed away after 38 years of marriage.</span></p> <blockquote style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/CVYBn8Crlka/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"></div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"></div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"></div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/CVYBn8Crlka/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank">A post shared by Keptya David (@keptyaphotography)</a></p> </div> </blockquote> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“My grandma couldn't believe I decided to wear her dress”, said Allie. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“She stored it in an old trash bag because she didn't think it was anything special. But to me it was.”</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“She was tearing up when she saw me for the first time on my big day. It was an incredible moment that I will treasure forever.”</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">She said, “The dress is obviously sentimental to me as she wore it to my marry my granddad. I had never met him but I know they had a successful, long and happy marriage. So it felt like the dress paved the way for my marriage.”</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">As well as the obvious sentimental value, Allie chose to wear the dress in order to save money on buying a new one. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“I fell in love with how the dress looked from the moment I had seen it. So it was a no-brainer for me to wear it,” Allie said.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“But if I was going to buy my own, it would have been $2,000 so it's great to have saved some money whilst creating special memories.”</span></p> <p><em><span style="font-weight: 400;">Image credits: Instagram @keptyaphotography</span></em></p>

Beauty & Style

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Why Princess Eugenie’s engagement ring is so special to the royal family

<p>While it is true Duchess Kate’s engagement ring is the most iconic and special pieces of jewellery to the royal family, it is not the only deeply meaningful one. </p> <p>While the Duchess of Cambridge - who announced alongside her then-fiance Prince William back in 2011 of their engagement - had an heirloom passed down from Princess Diana, Princess Eugenie has a special connection to her own ring. </p> <p>The pink centre stone made of large pink sapphire and surrounded by a halo of diamonds is a special nod to her parents, the Duke and Duchess of York. </p> <p>The stone which is called padparadscha sapphire, also referred to as a “lotus blossom sapphire,” is an incredibly rare stone that takes on a gorgeous hue from the red and yellow in the gem. </p> <p>The stone itself is estimated at a cost of AU$12,000 which is not including the intricate diamonds which makes up the halo. </p> <p>The design carries significant weight to Princess Eugenie, as it bears a striking resemblance to her mother’s very own engagement ring. </p> <p>The royal’s husband Jack Brooksbank designed the ring for his wife while keeping in mind his mother-in-law’s special jewellery collection and took inspiration from the piece Prince Andrew used when proposing to Sarah Ferguson in 1986. </p> <p>Fergie's beautiful ring was a Garrard &amp; Co-design which featured 10 stunning diamonds surrounding a large ruby.</p> <p>At the time, it was considered a beautiful contrast to that of Princess Diana’s own engagement ring, which was also designed by Garrard and had a stark blue sapphire. </p> <p>The pair were close pals for many years and it was just one of the many touching ways their different personalities complimented each other so well. </p> <p>Scroll through the gallery above to see Princess Eugenie’s engagement ring and how it compares to other members of the royal family.</p>

Beauty & Style

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Girls in family wear same dress in school pictures for 52 years

<p>Hand-me-downs are the bane of many children’s existence, but one US family has turned one into a tradition – completely by accident. In 1965, Janice Parker from Minnesota purchased a red and green plaid dress for her oldest daughter to wear for her school photo. 52 years later, the dress is still being worn.</p> <p>As each of Janice’s daughters reached year one, they donned the dress in their school pictures – first Diana, then Lynelle, Liza, Corinne and Sarah. It became so that no girl in the family could get away with wearing anything else.</p> <p><img width="499" height="375" src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/33699/image__499x375.jpg" alt="dress (2)" style="display: block; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"/></p> <p>When Janice’s daughters went on to have girls of their own, they continued the tradition. “Some were excited to carry on this wonderful tradition that had started—and obviously others were not,” Sarah told <a href="http://www.countryliving.com/life/news/a41846/plaid-dress-worn-to-picture-day-for-52-years/" target="_blank"><strong><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Country Living</span></strong></a>. Sarah herself even admitted she cried when her mother suggested she wear the dress.</p> <p>Now, the latest generation has had her photo taken – but not without adding a little flair of her own.</p> <p><img width="500" height="605" src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/33698/image__500x605.jpg" alt="plaid dress" style="display: block; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"/></p> <p>“She is very much a tomboy and a dress is not something you will find in her closet,” Sarah said. “I love that Aubrey added a touch of her own personality to her picture in the traditional little red dress. “She was the first to wear the dress in pants and a baseball cap!”</p> <p>After 17 girls and 52 years, the dress is miraculously still in one piece. “As long as the dress holds up, [we] think the tradition will. Just a small thing that ties us all together.”</p> <p>Tell us in the comments below, does your family have a special item passed down through the generations?</p> <p><strong>Related links:</strong></p> <p><a href="/news/news/2017/02/hidden-figures-cast-bring-out-katherine-johnson-oscars/"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em><strong>Hidden Figures cast bring out NASA’s 98-year-old Katherine Johnson at the Oscars</strong></em></span></a></p> <p><a href="/news/news/2017/02/man-lends-car-to-stranger-on-way-to-funeral/"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em><strong>74-year-old lends car to stranger stranded on way to a funeral</strong></em></span></a></p> <p><a href="/news/news/2017/02/grandma-texts-daily-encouragement/"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em><strong>Grandma’s daily encouraging texts to grandkids</strong></em></span></a></p>

News

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What legacy do you want to leave?

<p><strong><em>Simon Cunich is an award-winning documentary director and founder of <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><a href="http://www.heirloomfilms.com.au/" target="_blank">Heirloom Films</a></span>, an innovative service helping Australians record their life stories.</em></strong></p> <p>How do you leave a legacy? On the internet, you can find countless “5 tips” articles that claim to have the answers.</p> <p>Most of these articles suggest you leave money to charity in your will or start volunteering for a good cause in your retirement. Both are virtuous things and should be encouraged whole-heartedly.</p> <p>But interviewing elders about their lives, as we do at Heirloom Films, you get another perspective on the question of leaving a legacy.</p> <p>The message we often hear from elders goes something like this:</p> <p>Leaving a legacy isn’t something that’s done in one go late in life. Nor is it something that happens when your will is dusted off.</p> <p>Your legacy is primarily the values you have lived by and have inspired in others. It’s about how you’re remembered, not necessarily what achievements you’re remembered for.</p> <p>For many elders we interview, leaving a legacy is about sharing stories and imparting life lessons.</p> <p>When we ask “What lessons would you like to pass on?”, we hear answers like:</p> <ul> <li>“Relationships with family and friends are the most important achievement in life.”</li> <li>“Helping others helps yourself.”</li> <li>“Contentment is more important than happiness.”</li> <li>“Be honest with yourself – live your own life and don’t worry about what other people think.”</li> </ul> <p>These life lessons represent a lifetime of accumulated wisdom, condensed into powerfully simple messages. They represent a wealth of understanding that can be transferred from one generation to the next; an invaluable legacy.</p> <p>Sometimes this wisdom is passed on automatically. Other times it’s not until we create a film that families hear for the first time what really matters to their loved ones.</p> <p>There’s a millennia-old Jewish tradition of writing an “ethical will”, a letter to pass on values, wisdom and stories from one generation to the next.</p> <p>In this vein, Barack Obama has written a “legacy letter” to his daughters, commencing “I want to tell you a little more about why I decided to take our family on this journey.” It includes lessons passed on from his grandmother and his own reflections and hopes for the future.</p> <p>Our life story films may come in a USB thumb drive rather than an envelope, but at their heart they are simply a multimedia version of this ancient tradition. The kind of legacy that will not only be treasured by families, but will continue to shape them for generations to come.</p> <p><em>First appeared on <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="http://heirloomfilms.com.au/" target="_blank">Heirloom Films.</a></strong></span></em></p> <p><strong>Related links:</strong></p> <p><a href="/lifestyle/family-pets/2016/08/tips-to-preserve-your-family-history/"><em><strong><span style="text-decoration: underline;">4 tips to preserve your family history</span></strong></em></a></p> <p><a href="/lifestyle/family-pets/2016/08/the-importance-of-family-gatherings/"><strong><em><span style="text-decoration: underline;">The importance of family gatherings</span></em></strong></a></p> <p><a href="/lifestyle/family-pets/2016/08/tip-to-overcome-generation-gap/"><strong><em><span style="text-decoration: underline;">An over-60’s tip to overcome generation gap</span></em></strong></a></p>

Family & Pets

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I made a movie about my grandmother who has dementia

<p><em><strong>Simon Cunich is an award-winning documentary director and founder of <a href="http://www.heirloomfilms.com.au" target="_blank"><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Heirloom Films</span></a>, an innovative service helping Australians record their life stories.</strong></em></p> <p>A few years ago if you'd told me I was going to make a career from hanging out with my grandparents’ peers I wouldn’t have believed you. I’m an intrepid documentary filmmaker: I should be trekking through some remote corner of the planet with my camera!</p> <p>This is the story of how retirement villages, aged care homes and suburban living rooms became my jungle. </p> <p>Until a year ago my grandparents were living in a large two-storey house with a sprawling garden. My dad had been gently encouraging them to downsize for years but there was no way it was ever going to happen, we thought. </p> <p>Then Gran had a fall down the front steps, and then another. Now a move was seriously on the agenda. They secured a spot in a retirement village with care on call and all that was left to do was move everything from the old house into something a quarter of the size. </p> <p>During one of the family working bees to pack everything up I opened some dusty cupboards and was confronted with towers of photo albums and box-upon-box of unsorted photos. Snapshots of everyday life dating back around 100 years. There was no way it was all going to fit in the new place and no way anyone was going part with a single photo.</p> <p><img width="498" height="355" src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/21481/lesley-cunich-childhood-photo_498x355.jpg" alt="Lesley Cunich Childhood Photo" style="display: block; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"/></p> <p>So I took on the daunting task of getting the photos scanned and archived as digital files. When I’d made my way through the mass of old photos (and many sneezing fits later) I thought my journey into our family history was over.</p> <p>It was around this time that we started to notice Gran’s memory wasn’t as sharp as it had been. In her mind the move was being confused with one they’d made 30 years earlier when they left their farm. It didn’t take long for a dementia diagnosis to make it official. </p> <p>With the photos fresh in my mind I was struck by a sense of urgency to capture Gran’s life stories. One Saturday I set up a mini film studio in their new living room and with cameras rolling, I sat down with her to ask a few questions. Do you remember the tricycle in this childhood photo? Do you remember the day you met Grandpa? Of course she did - in vivid detail. </p> <p>When we stopped talking two hours later I’d learned more about her life than I ever had before. </p> <p>I took the footage back to my editing suite and along with the family photos, started crafting a video about Gran’s life. It became a 15-minute film made up of precious memories, profound reflections, and the glint in her eye when she laughs and recounts a story.</p> <p>When I sent the completed film to my extended family the response was overwhelming. Emails with lines of exclamation marks and tearful emoticons started flooding in. Uncles, aunties, cousins - everyone was in love with this portrait of our inspiring Gran. The film had already become a family heirloom. </p> <p>The next step just seemed obvious. Of course other families would treasure a film about their loved ones too.</p> <p>Heirloom Films was established to give other Australians the same opportunity to record life stories and preserve family history. My work as a filmmaker now centres on producing documentaries for families about their elders and I can’t think of a richer source of stories.</p> <p>Gran’s memory continues to fade at the edges but her passionate and positive spirit, which I managed to capture in her film, burns on brightly. It’s a legacy our family won’t forget.</p> <p><em>You can find out more about <strong><a href="http://www.heirloomfilms.com.au" target="_blank"><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Heirloom Films here</span></a></strong>. OverSixty readers can receive a 10% discount by using the promo code “Over60”. Valid until 2 July 2016. </em></p> <p><strong>Related links: </strong><em><br /></em></p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em><strong><a href="/lifestyle/retirement-life/2016/04/why-everyone-should-share-their-life-story/">Why everyone should share their life story</a></strong></em></span></p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em><strong><a href="/health/caring/2016/05/poem-captures-pain-of-alzheimers/">Beautiful poem captures the pain of Alzheimer’s</a></strong></em></span></p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em><strong><a href="/lifestyle/family-pets/2016/05/harry-gardner-heartbreaking-song-about-grandma-battle-with-alzheimers/">15-year-old’s heartbreaking song about grandma with Alzheimer’s</a></strong></em></span></p>

Family & Pets

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