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Grieving families targeted in callous gravesite robberies

<p>Four families in Victoria have been left devastated after the gravesites of their loved ones have been callously burgled. </p> <p>Maurice D'Alberti was visiting the grave of his son Adam at the Fawkner Memorial Park in North Melbourne when he noticed sentimental items had been taken. </p> <p>Adam passed away six years ago after a battle with cancer, and his father was visiting his son's resting place on what would've been his 10th birthday when he made the discovery that toy cars, along with an engraved ribbon and a photo of Adam were gone. </p> <p>"As a parent that's lost a child, we hang on to things, that they've touched, and things that they've loved," D'Alberti told <em><a href="https://www.9news.com.au/national/families-targeted-in-series-of-gravesite-robberies/39898523-e8cb-41c8-a5d5-2feb044492ba" target="_blank" rel="noopener">9News</a></em>.</p> <p>"You can't get any lower. He's already been robbed of his life and now he's been robbed of his possessions."</p> <p>At least three other graves had also been ransacked, with the families feeling "great distress" over the stolen items. </p> <p>Jake Maurici noticed that precious items had been taken from his father Vince's grave, and wants to see better security installed in the memorial park. </p> <p>Jake was devastated to learn that the brazen thieves had taken off with a football scarf and pins from his dad's grave, given their sentimental value to both him and his father as diehard Carlton fans. </p> <p>"Things I get emotional about, going to the footy with my dad... we did it when I was younger," he said.</p> <p>"Having stuff that was with him is what I remember him by."</p> <p>"I think the security needs to be improved...my mother comes here late at night," Maurici said.</p> <p>The families are calling on the culprits to do the right thing and return the stolen items.</p> <p><em>Image credits: Nine News</em></p>

Legal

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Lilie James' grieving family breaks silence as body is found in manhunt for suspect

<p>Lilie James' devastated family have spoken out for the first time, following her <a href="https://www.oversixty.com.au/news/news/slain-st-andrew-s-staffer-identified" target="_blank" rel="noopener">tragic death</a>. </p> <p>The 21-year-old water polo coach was found dead with serious head injuries at the gymnasium bathroom of St Andrew’s Cathedral School on Wednesday night. </p> <p>Her male colleague and ex-boyfriend Paul Thijssen is believed to be involved in her <a href="https://www.oversixty.com.au/news/news/tragic-new-details-emerge-in-alleged-murder-of-lilie-james" target="_blank" rel="noopener">alleged murder</a>, when he went missing at The Gap in Vaucluse, after reportedly calling the police informing them of a body on school grounds. </p> <p>A body has reportedly been found at the base of the cliffs in Diamond Bay Reserve, however police are currently unable to confirm whether the body was that of 24-year-old Thijssen. </p> <p>“A police operation is currently underway to retrieve a body in Vaucluse,” NSW Police said in an earlier statement.</p> <p>“No further information is available at this time.”</p> <p>Detectives are currently investigating the possibility that Thijssen had taken his own life, as The Gap is a notorious suicide spot, and Thijssen's backpack and an item linked to the alleged homicide was found there. </p> <p>On Friday morning, her family have broken their silence following the grim discovery. </p> <p>“We are devastated and heartbroken by the loss of our beautiful Lilie James,” the family said in a statement released by the police. </p> <p>“She was vibrant, outgoing, and very much loved by her family and friends. We are tremendously grateful for the support of our community at this difficult time.</p> <p>“As a police investigation is underway, we will not be providing further comments.</p> <p>“We ask that you please respect our privacy.”</p> <p>Students have been paying tribute to the fallen water polo coach with a growing flower memorial at the school's entrance. </p> <p>A few of the students she coached also told<em> 7NEWS.com.au </em>that she was an “amazing” and “encouraging” coach.</p> <p>"She always had a smile on her face,” one student said.</p> <p>“You will be in all of our prayers and hearts. Thank you for making PE so much fun, thank you for being an amazing and strong coach, and thank you for being there. We love you,” another student said.</p> <p><em>Images: 7NEWS/Facebook</em></p>

News

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Grieving family speaks after three siblings killed in light plane crash

<p>The Nally family, who tragically lost four of their loved ones in a devastating plane crash, has broken their silence following the heart-wrenching incident.</p> <p>Peter Nally, aged 65, was piloting the light aircraft when the accident occurred, claiming the lives of not only himself but also his three cherished grandchildren: Raphael, 11; Evita, nine; and Philomena, six. The crash took place near Canberra around 2:50pm on Friday.</p> <p>In a brief statement released through the NSW Police, members of the Nally family expressed the profound grief they are currently enduring. Their statement read, "There are no words that can adequately convey the depth of sorrow our family is experiencing at this moment. We are deeply grateful for the overwhelming support we have received from our extended family, friends, and the local community."</p> <p>"As we continue to grapple with this unimaginable loss, we kindly request that the media respect our need for privacy as we mourn and attempt to cope with this tragic event."</p> <p>Peter Nally, an experienced pilot hailing from Bunya, Queensland, had been flying his three beloved grandchildren back to his daughter Elyse's residence in Armidale, northern New South Wales, after a visit with family in Ainslie, a suburb of Canberra.</p> <p>The Cirrus SR22 light plane they were aboard lost contact with air traffic controllers shortly after departing from Canberra Airport at 2:30pm. Disturbing audio recordings captured the desperate efforts of controllers attempting to establish contact with Mr Nally, to no avail.</p> <p>Within a matter of minutes, the aircraft crashed, igniting into flames upon impact at a rural property near Lake George in the New South Wales Tablelands. Tragically, everyone on board perished instantly, and the aircraft was obliterated.</p> <p>Emergency services swiftly responded to the scene after receiving a report from a witness who had seen flames emanating from the wreckage. Although fire crews managed to extinguish the blaze, there was no chance of saving any lives.</p> <p>Investigations into the root cause of the catastrophic crash are currently ongoing, with preliminary reports indicating a potential failure of the plane's built-in parachute system.</p> <p>The Australian Transport Safety Bureau (ATSB) issued a statement on Saturday, stating, "In the coming days, investigators with expertise in aircraft operations and maintenance will carry out a range of evidence-gathering activities at the crash site."</p> <p>According to the ATSB, it may take up to eight weeks before a preliminary report detailing the incident is made available to the public.</p> <p><em>Image: Glenbrook Catholic Church St Finbar</em></p>

Travel Trouble

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Uber driver shares touching moment with grieving passenger

<p>A young Uber driver has shared the emotional interaction he had with a grieving mother.</p> <p>James Bade, a 23-year-old from Sydney, shares clips from his best Uber driving moments on his TikTok, capturing honest moments with his passengers. </p> <p>Bade's latest video has moved his followers to tears, as he drove around an older couple who broke down in tears at the end of their journey. </p> <p>James captioned his video, "This job makes me cry sometimes,” as the video shows the elderly woman telling James, “You know what? Look after yourself.”</p> <p>Her voice broke as she said, "You're a champion."</p> <p>The couple then left the car, before the woman began tapping frantically on James' window as he winds it down. </p> <div class="embed" style="font-size: 16px; box-sizing: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; outline: none !important;"><iframe class="embedly-embed" style="box-sizing: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border-width: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; width: 600px; max-width: 100%; outline: none !important;" title="tiktok embed" src="https://cdn.embedly.com/widgets/media.html?src=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.tiktok.com%2Fembed%2Fv2%2F7279295029410057480&amp;display_name=tiktok&amp;url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.tiktok.com%2F%40jamesbadeofficial%2Fvideo%2F7279295029410057480&amp;image=https%3A%2F%2Fp16-sign-sg.tiktokcdn.com%2Fobj%2Ftos-alisg-p-0037%2F7648b1db68b747d38845e102a8a6ef9e_1694842956%3Fx-expires%3D1695945600%26x-signature%3DCvk%252FeflE7E2aY%252Fv15VOGr7IwGr4%253D&amp;key=59e3ae3acaa649a5a98672932445e203&amp;type=text%2Fhtml&amp;schema=tiktok" width="340" height="700" frameborder="0" scrolling="no" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe></div> <p>“I lost my son last year,” she tells him through tears. </p> <p>“And you remind me so much of my son.”</p> <p>Bade unbuckles his seatbelt and hugs the woman through the window as she cries. </p> <p>The woman, still sobbing, holds Mr Bade for a moment, telling him to “take care”. </p> <p>“The world will take you wherever you want to go,” she tells him.</p> <p>The comments section was flooded with emotional messages, showing that the interaction obviously touched his followers. </p> <p>“You can tell she has so much love and nowhere for it to go,” one wrote. </p> <p>“Actually crying … how lovely,” said another. </p> <p>Another added, “This is just beautiful … you can just tell in her voice that she needed that so much.”</p> <p>Sadly, not every one of James' passengers are as lovely, as he recently made headlines after a rude passenger <a href="https://oversixty.com.au/travel/travel-trouble/uber-driver-shocked-by-elderly-passenger-s-intrusive-questions" target="_blank" rel="noopener">talked down to him</a> over his career choice and high school exam results. </p> <p><em>Image credits: TikTok</em></p>

Caring

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“Please go away”: Grieving mother slams “god-bothering” vandal

<p dir="ltr">A heart-broken mother has slammed a “god-botherer” who superglued a cross to her son’s memorial.</p> <p dir="ltr">Sydney parents Edwina and Anthony Symonds lost their son Sebastian, lovingly known as Seb, when he was just 10-months-old in 2018.</p> <p dir="ltr">After Seb’s death, the grieving parents organised for a memorial plaque to be fixed to a sitting rock located at a popular walk in the city's northern beaches – a place they frequented with Seb before his passing.</p> <p dir="ltr">Edwina told <a href="https://honey.nine.com.au/latest/sydney-baby-memorial-plaque-cross-super-glue-parents-message/348ed1ef-3155-4d56-977e-df84db43715b" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><em>9Honey</em> </a>that she is used to finding well-wishing trinkets people have left behind on Seb’s memorial.</p> <p dir="ltr">"Previously we've had little bibles left there, or small rocks that have been painted by children, or feathers," Edwina said, adding that the family usually takes the items with them as they go along.</p> <p dir="ltr">However, Edwina said one passerby has taken it too far, by supergluing a religious cross to the plaque.</p> <p dir="ltr">"It's obnoxious," Edwina says.</p> <p dir="ltr">She was informed of the unwanted addition to her son's plaque by a friend, and shared a post on a local Facebook page to explain her distress.</p> <p dir="ltr">"To be fair, I'm Catholic and I used to go to church every week when I was younger. I don't have a problem with religion," she said.</p> <p dir="ltr">"I think I captured it well with what I wrote. But don't super glue your religion to me or my son."</p> <p dir="ltr">Her Facebook post read, "To the God-botherer that vandalised our son's plaque by supergluing a cross to it!!! I imagine somewhere in whatever religion you choose to follow, there is some sort of rule that says, 'Don't be a low-life by wrecking other people's property.' If not, there should be.”</p> <p dir="ltr">"Religion is a nice ideal. You are entitled to your beliefs and no-one should take issue with that. I certainly don't.”</p> <p dir="ltr">"I am sure you had some lovely thoughts when you were sitting with Seb like, 'God took this baby to a 'better' place, or that he 'had a plan' for this child, or even the classic 'everything happens for a reason.'”</p> <p dir="ltr">"Cool story, but please go away. Seb doesn't need you to 'save' him. He died already. He can't be saved.”</p> <p dir="ltr">Anthony also commented on the post, not holding back with his frustration over the vandal’s actions.</p> <p dir="ltr">"To the god botherer, Seb is looking down having a laugh at your kooky effort and giving you his swear finger. At 10 months old, his heart was as pure as it gets, though he has subsequently learnt the words f--k you.”</p> <p dir="ltr">"A narrow minded fool, keep away from Seb's little playground. Keep your ideas out of other people's lives unless invited in, the end.”</p> <p dir="ltr">While many of the comments expressed distress at news of her son's death at such a young age, Edwina was quick to explain they are managing to live with their grief, and that Seb's death isn't the issue at hand.</p> <p dir="ltr">"I'm sure they had good intentions, but their execution is s***house," Edwina told <em>9Honey</em>.</p> <p dir="ltr">"I haven't been down there yet, you have to walk one kilometre along the walkway to see it. I'll have to go to Bunnings to get some bond remover or something. But I have two young kids, so it's just another thing on my to-do list."</p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Image credits: Facebook</em></p>

Family & Pets

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Is there a right way to grieve?

<p>Loss and grieving doesn't feel like a process when you're suffering it. The pain, often overwhelming, feels like it's with you forever.</p> <p>And to some extent, it is. Everything that happens to us in life – both positive and negative – becomes yet another part of our psychological tapestry: the web of experience and learned factors that makes up who we are beyond our genes.</p> <p><strong>What is grief?</strong></p> <p>Grief is the multi-faceted response to loss. It could be loss of a person, loss of an animal, loss of a home, of loss of anything else we are emotionally and/or physically attached to. In short, it's the emotional suffering we are forced to endure when something is taken away from us.</p> <p>An often-studied psychological process, grief is complicated. In renowned psychiatrist Elisabeth Kubler-Ross's 1969 book <em>On Death and Dying</em>, it was proposed there were five stages of grief that everybody goes through when somebody dies.</p> <p>Known as the Kubler-Ross model, these stages are denial (refusing to accept what has happened); anger; bargaining (the internal negotiating stage in which one goes through a series of "if only" questions), depression; and acceptance.</p> <p>In the early days of this theory, it was largely believed that this five-pronged process was linear, i.e. a person going through grief sequentially moved from one stage to the other. In Kubler-Ross' later life, she noted that the stages were non-linear – somebody who's grieving can experience stages in any order, can go back to stages they thought were over, or may not experience all stages.</p> <p>Many other mental health professionals have suggested alternative processes, including psychologist John Bowlby's model which pinpoints the phases a person may follow after another's death in more practical terms.</p> <p>His theory stated that we first experience numbness (a sense of disbelief of what has happened); yearning (characterised by that "I just want them back" feeling); disorganisation and disrepair (a sense of helplessness); and reorganisation (the process by which a person regains some control and hope, and begins to move forward.</p> <p>Though there are many other models of grief, these two are well-positioned to contrast with each other. Anybody who's been through – or is going through – grief may identify with one psychotherapeutic framework much more than the other.</p> <p><strong>What stops you grieving?</strong></p> <p>Adrenaline can stop a person from grieving. Some people become very competent after a loss and throw themselves into logistics whilst running at an emotional "boiling point", but never flowing over.</p> <p>Most people when grieving will understand it comes an uncomfortable, if not painful, sense of regret. It's as if you think you shouldn't be feeling the way that you are, and that grieving is somehow wrong or weak.</p> <p>In fighting against grief because you have some sort of stigma against it, grieving can be even more painful. Not only may you be (consciously or subconsciously) experiencing certain stages of grief as outlined in the Kubler-Ross, Bowlby, or other models, but you're also using up so much of your energy trying "not to" feel. Such efforts can wreak havoc on your mental health.</p> <p>Many people find that when faced with loss, they feel there's only one option: to be strong. This, too, can put off the grieving process, and often happens when we see ourselves as supporters or carers of others. We believe we "can't fall apart" for their sake; whether it's because we must care of children, keep a household or business running, be the "rock" for somebody else who is grieving, and so on.</p> <p><strong>Is there a right way to grieve?</strong></p> <p>In Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg's new book <em>Option B</em>, Sandberg – whose husband died suddenly at 47 – uses psychologist Martin Seligman's "3 P's" approach to explain the importance of grieving.</p> <p>It' proposed that personalisation (finding blame for one's loss); pervasiveness (how a loss is perceived to affect your life); and permanence (how long you think negative feelings will last) are key in the human ability to deal with grief.</p> <p>This can mean realising that a death or loss couldn't have been prevented by you, it won't always impinge on all areas of your life and that pain won't last forever at the same level of intensity.</p> <p>There is no "right" way to grieve – every individual will have their own experience – but this "3 P's" approach can be key in the ultimate goal of loss or death: accepting that what's happened has happened.</p> <p><em>Written by Lee Suckling. First appeared on <a href="http://www.stuff.co.nz/" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><strong><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Stuff.co.nz</span></strong></a>.</em></p> <p><em>Image: Getty</em></p>

Caring

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Why mourning a pet can be harder than grieving for a person

<p>Many pet owners know that our connections with animals can be on an emotional par with those we share with other humans – and <a href="https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Ben-Rockett/publication/274344384_Animals_and_Attachment_Theory/links/5f8552bb458515b7cf7c5851/Animals-and-Attachment-Theory.pdf" target="_blank" rel="noopener">scientific research backs this up</a>.</p> <p><a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0265407507087958" target="_blank" rel="noopener">The key ingredients of human attachment</a> are experiencing the other person as a dependable source of comfort, seeking them out when distressed, feeling enjoyment in their presence and missing them when apart. Researchers have identified these as features of our relationships with pets too.</p> <p>But there are complexities. Some groups of people are more likely to develop intimate bonds with their pets. This includes <a href="https://books.google.co.uk/books?hl=en&amp;lr=&amp;id=yyM5DQAAQBAJ&amp;oi=fnd&amp;pg=PA123&amp;dq=pet+attachment+and+older+people&amp;ots=g4NhHQwmag&amp;sig=82Jmnjag7NC40mxaITf18Vsjk8g#v=onepage&amp;q=pet%20attachment%20and%20older%20people&amp;f=false" target="_blank" rel="noopener">isolated older people</a>, <a href="https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Ben-Rockett/publication/313459134_Fostering_secure_attachment_experiences_of_animal_companions_in_the_foster_home/links/5f85529e458515b7cf7c5848/Fostering-secure-attachment-experiences-of-animal-companions-in-the-foster-home.pdf" target="_blank" rel="noopener">people who have lost trust in humans</a>, and <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/14616734.2011.584410?journalCode=rahd20" target="_blank" rel="noopener">people who rely on assistance animals</a>.</p> <p>Researchers have also found our connections with our fluffy, scaled and feathered friends come with a price, in that we <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/07481187.2021.1901799" target="_blank" rel="noopener">grieve the loss of our pets</a>. But some aspects of pet grief are unique.</p> <h2>Euthanasia</h2> <p>For many people, pet death may be the only experience they have of grief connected to euthanasia. Guilt or doubt over a decision to euthanise a cherished companion animal can complicate grief. For example, <a href="https://www.researchgate.net/publication/288696026_Pet_loss_and_human_emotion_A_guide_to_recovery_Second_edition" target="_blank" rel="noopener">research has found</a> that disagreements within families about whether it is (or was) right to put a pet to sleep can be particularly challenging.</p> <p>But euthanasia also gives people a chance to prepare for a beloved animal’s passing. There is a chance to say goodbye and plan final moments to express love and respect such as a favourite meal, a night in together or a last goodbye.</p> <p>There are stark differences in people’s responses to pet euthanasia. <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/07481187.2012.738764" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Israeli research</a> found that in the aftermath of euthanised pet death, 83% of people feel certain they made the right decision. They believed they had granted their animal companion a more honourable death that minimised suffering.</p> <p>However, a <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1539639/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Canadian study</a> found 16% of participants in their study whose pets were euthanised “felt like murderers”. And <a href="https://www.semanticscholar.org/paper/Establishing-a-model-pet-loss-support-hotline.-Mader-Hart/ed169dfdb2d43c2c94bc3f4c617e92bb37c08402" target="_blank" rel="noopener">American research</a> has shown how nuanced the decision can be as 41% of participants in a study felt guilty and 4% experienced suicidal feelings after they consented to their animal being euthanised. Cultural beliefs, the nature and intensity of their relationship, attachment styles and personality influence people’s experience of pet euthanasia.</p> <h2>Disenfranchised grief</h2> <p>This type of loss <a href="https://neurosciencenews.com/grief-pet-loss-21950/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">is still less acceptable socially</a>. This is called disenfranchised grief, which refers to losses that society doesn’t fully appreciate or ignores. This makes it harder to mourn, at least in public.</p> <p>Psychologists Robert Neiymeyer and John Jordan said <a href="https://www.semanticscholar.org/paper/Disenfranchised-Grief%3A-New-Directions%2C-Challenges%2C-Doka/93982a0299f424a451986bc2938751d909b5a98b" target="_blank" rel="noopener">disenfranchised grief</a> is a result of an empathy failure. People deny their own pet grief because a part of them feels it is shameful. This isn’t just about keeping a stiff upper lip in the office or at the pub. People may feel pet grief is unacceptable to certain members of their family, or to the family more generally.</p> <p>And at a wider level, there may be a mismatch between the depth of pet grief and social expectations around animal death. For example, some people may react with contempt if someone misses work or takes leave to mourn a pet.</p> <p><a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/08927936.2019.1621545?journalCode=rfan20" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Research</a> suggests that when people are in anguish over the loss of a pet, disenfranchised grief makes it more difficult for them to find solace, post-traumatic growth and healing. Disenfranchised grief seems to restrain emotional expression in a way that makes it harder to process.</p> <p>Our relationships to our pets can be as meaningful as those we share with each other. Losing our pets is no less painful, and our grief reflects that. There are dimensions of pet grief we need to recognise as unique. If we can accept pet death as a type of bereavement, we can lessen people’s suffering. We’re only human, after all.</p> <p><strong>This article originally appeared on <a href="https://theconversation.com/why-mourning-a-pet-can-be-harder-than-grieving-for-a-person-195514" target="_blank" rel="noopener">The Conversation</a>.</strong></p> <p><em>Image: Shutterstock</em></p>

Relationships

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4 surprising things your body goes through when you grieve

<p>We all deal with grief in our lives, whether it’s the loss of a loved one, a relationship breakup or job loss – no matter the reason behind it, grieving can take its toll not only on the mind but also on the body. Here are four surprising physical changes you might notice during your time of grief.</p> <ol> <li><strong>Irregular heartbeat</strong> – A study of almost 90,000 people published in the <em>Open Heart</em> journal found that having a “broken heart” mightn’t be so far-fetched after all. Those who lost a partner were found to be more likely to develop an irregular heartbeat and 41 per cent more at risk of atrial fibrillation, particularly around two weeks after the death. Given that this can be a serious condition (potentially lasting up to a year after a loss), sufferers should see their doctor if they have any concerns.</li> <li><strong>Weakened immune system</strong> – Older people who experience the death of a loved one are more susceptible to disease, according to research published in the <em>Age and Immunity</em> journal. They were reported to have poorer functioning neutrophils – white blood cells responsible for boosting immunity.</li> <li><strong>Anxiety</strong> – While anxiety is certainly a mental health issue, sufferers will have noticed how it can manifest itself physically, causing shortness of breath, an unsettled stomach, weight changes, decreased energy levels and shakes. These symptoms are all common after a gut-wrenching loss, but fortunately, there are many treatments available. Discuss your symptoms with your GP and they will recommend measures to take.</li> <li><strong>Skin issues</strong> – Mourners may notice stress-related skin issues after a devastating loss. “When we are anguished, in pain and stressed skin issues can erupt,” psychotherapist Amanda Falkson told <a href="http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/healthy-living/wellbeing/a26707/coping-with-grief-physical-symptoms/" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><strong><span style="text-decoration: underline;">NetDoctor</span></strong></a>. “I've noticed skin issues in people particularly when they suppress their emotions. In Chinese medical tradition, lungs and sinuses are linked to grieving.”</li> </ol> <p><em>Image: Getty</em></p>

Caring

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“That’s not my mum”: Funeral mix-up sees grieving daughter farewell a stranger

<p dir="ltr">A grieving woman has said a mix-up has meant the body in the casket at her mum’s funeral was actually that of a total stranger.</p> <p dir="ltr">When Dianne De Jager realised what had happened, her experience was made even more distressing when she was told by the funeral director to carry on with the service regardless.</p> <p dir="ltr">Recounting the event to <em>A Current Affair</em>, the Adelaide woman said it made her feel sick and “not want to be there”.</p> <p dir="ltr">“Everybody in that room thought they were saying goodbye to my mum, and it’s not her,” Ms De Jager told the program.</p> <p dir="ltr">“It made me feel sick. It made me not want to be there.”</p> <p dir="ltr">Her mother, Margaret Locke, was due to be farewelled at the service on August 1 at the Enfield Memorial Park, with around 100 people gathering for the service.</p> <p dir="ltr">But, when Ms De Jager looked inside the casket one last time, she realised a terrible mistake had been made.</p> <p dir="ltr">“That’s not my mum,” she told the funeral director.</p> <p dir="ltr">"He said, 'that's definitely Margaret, she was tagged as Margaret', and I said, 'this is not my mum'," she recalled.</p> <p dir="ltr">He only relented when Ms De Jager showed him a recent photo of her late mum.</p> <p dir="ltr">"I zoomed the face in and I put it next to the lady in that coffin and I said, 'that is not my mum'.”</p> <p dir="ltr">Despite the mistake, the funeral director suggested they carry on with the service while the mix-up was investigated.</p> <p dir="ltr">"How can you say goodbye to your mum when it's not her?” Ms De Jager said.</p> <p dir="ltr">"None of that eulogy really sunk in, or hit me because I wasn't really listening properly, I wasn't there. It just made me feel so empty and blank.”</p> <p dir="ltr">In a statement shared with <em>A Current Affair</em>, Clarke Family Funerals admitted a “mistake” was made with Ms Locke’s service and that the decision to continue the service was an error.</p> <p dir="ltr">"We have always striven to provide beautiful and respectful funerals that offer a lasting tribute but we fell well short of our own high standards,” they said.</p> <p dir="ltr">"This situation is deeply regrettable and we continue to offer our sincerest apologies to the family.</p> <p dir="ltr">"This decision was made under the stress of the situation and on reflection we should have sought a different outcome."</p> <p dir="ltr">Adrien Barrett, the president of the Australian Funeral Directors Association, said that multiple measures, such as various tags and checks, were used to ensure the person in a casket was the person being mourned.</p> <p dir="ltr">But, if there is any doubt, he said the first thing to do would be to stop the funeral.</p> <p dir="ltr">"The first thing that would need to happen would be that the funeral service should be stopped," Mr Barrett said.</p> <p dir="ltr">"The person whose funeral it's supposed to be isn't at the funeral.</p> <p dir="ltr">"We also have a person whose funeral it's not supposed to be at the funeral."</p> <p dir="ltr">After the service, Ms Locke was located and cremated, with the De Jager family then presented with her ashes.</p> <p dir="ltr">Ms De Jager said all she could do during the service was make the best of the situation.</p> <p dir="ltr">"So I said goodbye to this lady, I said 'rest in peace' and 'I hope you find your family'".</p> <p><span id="docs-internal-guid-4b43fb70-7fff-9f25-a5d0-8a1961d4f844"></span></p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Images: Channel 9</em></p>

Family & Pets

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Grieving stepdad slams new bride after "delusional" request

<p>A new bride has been slammed online by her stepfather, after demanding compensation from guests who missed her wedding ceremony to attend a funeral. </p> <p>The grieving man shared the story of his wife's daughter on Reddit, explaining the "delusional" decisions of his 27-year-old stepdaughter. </p> <p>Posting on Reddit's "Am I the A**hole?" thread, he wrote, "My stepdaughter Tara, 27, recently got married."</p> <p>"Six days before her wedding my father died unexpectedly. The people invited to her wedding from my family was myself, my two kids, my brother, and one of my sisters."</p> <p>The man explained that he had flown to another state to see his mother after hearing of his father's passing, while his wife stayed at home to help prepare for the upcoming wedding. </p> <p>"[My family] were aware of Tara's wedding and tried to be mindful of it and also give our family time to get in town for the funeral," he explained.</p> <p>"The funeral home serves the area my parents live in and the dates available for service were 3 before the wedding, day of the wedding, day after the wedding. They went with the day after."</p> <p>He went on to explain how his siblings understandably skipped the wedding due to the logistics of being able to attend both the wedding and the funeral that were happening several hours away. </p> <p>"My kids and I stayed for Tara's wedding, took photos, and left right after the ceremony since it was a 6-hour drive, and airline prices were insanely high and I'd already dropped a good bit of money on the first flight after dad died," he said.</p> <p>"Day after the funeral, those of us who missed the wedding were sent requests for $125 by Tara as a refund for meal and favor bags," he shared.</p> <p>"My kids and siblings asked if she was serious and I told them I'd call her to find out. When I called, she said she was serious and we had cost her money and owed her for missing her wedding."</p> <p>The man said that both his wife and his stepdaughter said the group should have left after the ceremony, despite the man already giving countless reasons why that was not possible. </p> <p>"My brother and sister couldn't afford two plane tickets or get that many days off, and they had sent their apologies and wedding gifts to her. I also pointed out we couldn't all fit in one car to drive there," he continued.</p> <p>"My wife insists I should pay all the refunds and my mother shouldn't have scheduled a funeral the day after the wedding and worse for me to leave on Tara's wedding day."</p> <p>When he asked Reddit users for their opinion on if he and his family were in the wrong, they did not hold back.</p> <p>"I am really shocked by how calm you seem about this. This was unthinkably callous on her part," one wrote.</p> <p>One person put it bluntly, commenting: "There are a few reasons why missing a wedding after rsvp'ing yes is acceptable and that includes a death in the family/funeral. There is something seriously wrong with your wife and step daughter."</p> <p>"That was your dad's funeral. She's delusional and so is your wife," added another.</p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p>

Family & Pets

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Grieving parents call for change after Aussie teen dies on school trip

<p dir="ltr">The parents of a teenager who died on an overseas school trip say more should have been done to prevent the death of their “fit and healthy” 15 year old.</p> <p dir="ltr">Blackburn high-school-student Timothy Fehring was meant to be on the “trip of a lifetime” when he attended a school trip in Germany in 2019, along with 16 other students and two teachers who chaperoned during the trip.</p> <p dir="ltr">But, after departing Melbourne and arriving in Germany on June 23, Timothy became ill.</p> <p dir="ltr">His mum, Barbara, received a text from Timothy that read: "I almost threw up and am working on getting better so I can have a better time."</p> <p dir="ltr">Barbara and her husband Dale said their son wasn’t one to complain and rejected claims he was just “homesick” in the leadup to his death.</p> <p dir="ltr">"He was a super fit and healthy child and he would never want to make a fuss or bring attention to himself," Barbra told <em><a href="https://www.9news.com.au/national/timothy-fehring-family-speak-after-melbourne-schoolboy-dies-on-school-trip-in-europe/b8144abe-790c-46d1-8a35-f2dedfd5f1ff" target="_blank" rel="noopener">9News</a></em>.</p> <p dir="ltr">As he continued to participate in activities, TImothy became violently ill, vomiting multiple times and eating very little on the first two days of the trip.</p> <p dir="ltr">When a teacher took him to a chemist and explained his symptoms, he was given some medication. Waking up the next day, Timothy asked his mum to get him home.</p> <p dir="ltr">"He expressed dissatisfaction about how he was being treated," the coroner’s findings read.</p> <p dir="ltr">Timothy was then taken to Munich Children’s Hospital and “thoroughly examined” by a doctor, and left six hours later with a diagnosis of a combination of homesickness, constipation and gastroenteritis.</p> <p dir="ltr">On June 27, he joined the group on a walking tour in Vienna, Austria, with the coroner’s findings stating he carried a “vomit bag”, walked slowly and looked tired.</p> <p dir="ltr">He asked to go back to the hospital, but staff denied his request.</p> <p dir="ltr">Then, when he threw up his dinner that night, staff contacted Timothy’s parents and made arrangements so he could fly home alone on June 29, which would include making a trip to a GP to secure a fit-to-travel certificate on June 28.</p> <p dir="ltr">But, after walking into the hallway to get some air, Timothy was found unresponsive with blood trickling from his nose.</p> <p dir="ltr">He was hospitalised but died on June 28, with an autopsy revealing he had a “highly acute” infection in his stomach and lungs, and had suffered a heart attack.</p> <p dir="ltr">Barbara and Dale said they weren’t made aware of the severity of Timothy’s illness, and are calling for change to staffing for overseas school trips.</p> <p dir="ltr">His mother acknowledged that the two teachers were trained in first aid, but said a school nurse would have had a better understanding of his illness.</p> <p dir="ltr">"They would have picked up on the signs quicker and we wouldn't be here today," she said.</p> <p dir="ltr">“He wasn’t homesick,” she continued, adding that having more adults accompany students would have helped save her son.</p> <p dir="ltr">"When he said he was sick and said something wasn't right, that was the truth.</p> <p dir="ltr">"No one was being his advocate, we think it's important to have more adults to student ratios.”</p> <p dir="ltr">In his findings on Timothy’s death, Coroner Simon McGregor called on the Department of Education and Training to increase the staff to student ratios on these trips, and recommended that organisers should ensure there were enough resources available if someone did fall ill.</p> <p dir="ltr">"With the benefit of hindsight, staff made the wrong judgement call that Tim's complaints were not sufficiently serious," McGregor commented.</p> <p dir="ltr">Since then, the department said a group the size that Tim was in now requires three adults, not two.</p> <p dir="ltr">The Fehrings continue to mourn their son, with Dale saying it has been a “hard three years”.</p> <p dir="ltr">“Children shouldn’t die, this is so tragic,” he said.</p> <p dir="ltr">"It hits you hard and it has been a hard three years. We have tried to cope."</p> <p><span id="docs-internal-guid-e3a529fc-7fff-d243-0b79-aa7e71c18bc7"></span></p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Images: Nine</em></p>

Travel Trouble

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Readers Respond: How do you deal with losing someone you love?

<p>The one thing that all humans are unfortunately guaranteed to experience is the loss of someone you love.</p> <p>In a way, you could say life is fair because it’s unfair to everyone.</p> <p>We asked our readers to share the way they deal with losing someone they love and the responses were nothing short of emotional.</p> <p>From keeping yourself busy or just taking each day as it comes - here are some of your answers.</p> <p>Julia Santos - Work. Work as much as I could. Being at home with my own thoughts and tears is too much at times. You cry. You pray. You keep going. After a while, the pain eases up a little bit.</p> <p>Carolyn Korlaki - One foot in front of the other, you never get over it, you get used to it!! And yes, you do change, you have to because now it's all on you!!!</p> <p>Cindy Kaye - It's never easy, however I believe the loved one would expect me to move on with my life. My daughter passed away 11 years ago, aged 38 and not a day goes by when I don't think of her. The special memories she left me with inspire me to keep going.</p> <p>Michelle Kotynski - One day at a time.</p> <p>Sharyn Watt - Losing your husband destroys the life you were living but you have to try to keep going and it is such a struggle. Remember the good times and just be grateful for the time you had together. </p> <p>Eleanor Taylor - Nobody dwells on it and I don’t feel sorry for myself. He was my love, my one and all. A person misses their intimate moments together for the last 60 years, I don’t want to move on. You move on if you want to but I miss my husband a lot.</p> <p>Joan Garufi - Remember the good times and allow yourself to grieve as long as you need too. There's no timeline to grieving someone you love...But just know that time makes it a little easier.</p> <p>Geoff Hunt - With great difficulty. You just keep going for the sake of the rest of the family.</p> <p>Kaye Boskovic - It's very hard especially when you have been together 53 years.You just have to hold your head up and keep on moving. At times it's very hard.</p> <p>Rosemary Moreland - By talking about them and remembering them and having their picture in a prominent place.</p> <p>If you would like to share some of your tips on how to deal with the loss of someone you love, click <a href="https://www.facebook.com/oversixtys/posts/pfbid0oZie9GU8Wtdb8hhcW6uvjQZmFwE7Q4LG1aWCGqNfFVFeqQuXGkdj4KvcBsnut7irl" target="_blank" rel="noopener">here</a>. </p> <p><em>Image: Shutterstock</em></p>

Relationships

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Grieving family slam Senator’s “disgraceful” Covid vaccine claim

<p dir="ltr">The family of a man who died in his sleep has been left “devastated” after a politician falsely claimed his death was caused by the COVID-19 vaccine and concealed by the government.</p> <p dir="ltr">Daniel Perkins had no signs of illness when he suddenly died in his sleep at his Shellharbour home in December.</p> <p dir="ltr">His family, including his wife, Nikki, and their two eight-year-old sons, Logan and Jordi, have been grieving and finding every day difficult.</p> <p dir="ltr">Then on Tuesday, in a speech to parliament, One Nation Senator Malcolm Roberts included Mr Perkins in his list of “victims” of COVID-19 vaccine injuries that have been “hidden behind government data”.</p> <p dir="ltr">Senator Roberts said that “the very least we can do for the victims of Covid vaccines is to say their names”, and said Mr Perkins was “a 36-year-old healthy father from Albion Park (who) died of a heart attack in his sleep following his second Pfizer injection”.</p> <p dir="ltr">But, Mr Perkins’ family isn’t aware of any evidence suggesting the vaccine contributed to his death.</p> <p dir="ltr">His brother-in-law, Shane Anderson, spoke to <em><a href="https://7news.com.au/news/public-health/family-of-nsw-father-daniel-perkins-slams-politicians-disgraceful-covid-vaccine-claim-c-6273002" target="_blank" rel="noopener">7News</a></em> on Thursday and shared how his sister was “devastated” after seeing how her partner’s death was being used by Senator Roberts.</p> <p dir="ltr">“The frustration and anger that I had this morning just knocks you off your feet a bit because you think, ‘How dare you? How dare you bring my brother’s name into it at such a terrible time in our life,” he said.</p> <p dir="ltr">“We are just totally gutted that that was even suggested when we, as the family, don’t even have that information.”</p> <p dir="ltr">Mr Anderson said the family was also disappointed since the information was “entirely untrue” and was “used without prior approval”.</p> <p dir="ltr">“My sister had no one ring her up and ask for any of that kind of information, or even whether that was the case,” he added.</p> <p dir="ltr">Mr Perkins’ family was told he had an “enlarged heart” at the time of his death, but that a definitive cause of death required an investigation by the coroner. The final post mortem results are still pending, as reported by <em>7News</em>.</p> <p dir="ltr">“For a politician to comment on something when it’s still under investigation is just absurd,” Shane said.</p> <p dir="ltr">“We’d be more than willing to have a chat if it was true … (but) there’s been no information given to the family that would even suggest that is the case, and to be used in federal parliament as a pinboard is just disgraceful.</p> <p dir="ltr">“If I could get an apology from him that would be very much appreciated.”</p> <p dir="ltr">Mr Anderson said that “every day is hard” for his nephews and sister in the three months since Mr Perkins’ death.</p> <p dir="ltr">“(The boys) have days where they say, ‘Dad used to do this with me’ or ‘Dad used to take me there’ and they’ll stop for a split second and have that ‘oh no’, but generally, they are two young eight-year-old boys living their life as they should,” he said.</p> <p dir="ltr">“We’re just trying to do events and take them to all these things and keep them in a happy space.”</p> <p dir="ltr">Senator Roberts is yet to comment on the situation.</p> <p><span id="docs-internal-guid-36fb4b86-7fff-ed5e-183e-85cdd777f5c4"></span></p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Image: 7News</em></p>

Caring

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COVID has changed how we live, how we die, and how we grieve

<p>Last week marked the second anniversary of the World Health Organization’s <a href="https://www.who.int/director-general/speeches/detail/who-director-general-s-opening-remarks-at-the-media-briefing-on-covid-19---11-march-2020">declaration of a pandemic</a>.</p> <p>In these two years, over <a href="https://covid19.who.int/">5,500 Australians</a> have died from COVID, and approximately <a href="https://www.abs.gov.au/statistics/people/population/deaths-australia/latest-release#:%7E:text=Key%20statistics%20There%20were%20169%2C301%20registered%20deaths%20in,Infant%20deaths%20increased%20by%2021%20deaths%20to%201%2C009">300,000 Australians</a> have lost their lives in total.</p> <p>Necessary public health protections have affected people’s access to dying loved ones, limited their participation in important rituals like funerals, and reduced the physical social support they would otherwise receive from friends and family.</p> <h2>More than half reporting problematic grief symptoms</h2> <p>Australia has seen relatively low numbers of COVID infections and deaths, particularly prior to recent months. So understanding the impact of COVID deaths on the people left behind has meant looking overseas.</p> <p>As a member of <a href="https://sites.google.com/cnu.edu/the-pandemic-grief-project">The Pandemic Grief Project</a>, I partnered with overseas researchers to survey people in the United States who had a person close to them die from COVID.</p> <p><a href="https://www.liebertpub.com/doi/10.1089/jpm.2021.0103">We found</a> more than half (57%) of those surveyed reported problematic grief symptoms such as a change in identity, feelings of meaninglessness, and wishes to die, to a degree where psychological therapy would be advised.</p> <p>Further, 70% of the sample coped with their loss using drugs or alcohol for at least several days in the past two weeks.</p> <p>In our second study of people in the US who had a person close to them die from COVID, <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0885392421000117?via%3Dihub">we found</a> most of the participants reported high levels of symptoms of generalised anxiety (70%), depression (74%), problematic grief (66%) and impaired functioning in key areas of life such as work, leisure and family relationships (63%).</p> <h2>Deaths from COVID versus other causes</h2> <p>These studies couldn’t tell us whether grief from a COVID death might be different to deaths from other causes. So we designed our next study to answer this question.</p> <p>We surveyed people in the US who had a person close to them die from any cause during the pandemic. Nearly three-quarters (72%) reported problematic grief symptoms and 77% reported functional impairment.</p> <p>When we compared those bereaved by losing someone to COVID to those whose loss was from another cause, we found no differences in levels of problematic grief symptoms or functional impairment.</p> <p>Further, the three groups (those bereaved by COVID, another natural cause, or a violent cause) reported levels of functional impairment equal to or greater than bereaved people who had problematic grief prior to the pandemic.</p> <p><a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/07481187.2021.1974666">We concluded</a> grief from deaths during COVID may warrant similar clinical concern as deaths from COVID.</p> <h2>What do these findings mean for Australia?</h2> <p>I’m part of team that designed a <a href="https://www.lossandgriefduringcovid19.com/">national study</a> to answer this question. We aim to understand the grief experiences and support needs of people in Australia who have been bereaved from any cause during the COVID pandemic.</p> <p>So far, more than 2,000 bereaved Australians have participated to tell us about their experiences of grieving, the support they needed, and the effects of COVID public health measures on their grief.</p> <p><a href="https://palliativecare.org.au/story/the-silent-epidemic-of-grief-during-the-covid-19-pandemic/">Early results</a> suggest people who have lost a loved one during the pandemic are experiencing more grief, anxiety and depression than we would expect prior to the pandemic.</p> <p>The study is open for recruitment until the end of March and you can access the survey <a href="https://www.uts.edu.au/research-and-teaching/our-research/impacct/about-us/research-impacct/studies/bereavement-during-covid-19-share-your-experience">here</a>.</p> <p>The team intends to develop a national bereavement action plan in coming months to help address grief support needs during the COVID pandemic and any future pandemics.</p> <h2>Sustained struggles with grief</h2> <p>The international findings coupled with the preliminary Australian findings are a strong indicator that, as the pandemic continues, we’re likely to see sustained struggles with grief.</p> <p>Bereaved people commonly seek support for their grief, yet my colleagues and I have found <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/2632352420935132">almost one-third</a> report not receiving the support they would’ve liked. Research from the UK shows the pandemic has <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/02692163211043372">exacerbated this gap</a> between support need and support received.</p> <p>One reason for this gap is that all of us – individuals, health professionals and communities – need to be more grief literate. <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/07481187.2020.1739780">Grief literacy</a> combines the knowledge of grief and loss, values of compassion and care, and skills to enable supportive action.</p> <p>The pandemic has shown more than ever we must do more to understand and support grieving people, strengthen their supporters and boost collective well-being in the wake of everyday loss and large-scale disasters.</p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p> <p><em>This article originally appeared on <a href="https://theconversation.com/covid-has-changed-how-we-live-how-we-die-and-how-we-grieve-177731" target="_blank" rel="noopener">The Conversation</a>. </em></p>

Mind

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Grieving mother’s plea to finish son’s composition answered

<p dir="ltr">A grieving mother has put out a worldwide call for musicians to finish her son’s first musical composition. </p><p dir="ltr">12-year-old Kyan Pennell passed away on January 31st after a tragic accident on his family’s property when he got caught between a trailer and a gate.</p><p dir="ltr">Kyan’s mum Amanda Brierley said he started learning piano just seven months ago, and unbeknownst to her, had started writing his own music. </p><p dir="ltr">"The thing that has given us some little part of Kyan to hold onto is when I found this composition he was working on in the middle of a blank exercise book," she told <a href="https://www.abc.net.au/radio/brisbane/">ABC Radio Brisbane</a>. </p><p dir="ltr">"I didn't realise that he knew how to write music. He said he wanted to know how to get what was inside his head out on paper and he must have been learning how to do that."</p><p dir="ltr">Amanda said Kyan’s neurodiversity gave him a “superpower” to focus and learn more than 30 classical music pieces in just a few months. </p><p dir="ltr">Earlier in February, Amanda posted a photo of Kyan’s unfinished work and asked other musicians to help finish it.</p><p dir="ltr">"This was just the intro, it is unfinished," she wrote.</p><p dir="ltr">"He was building up to a grand mid-section and then would do an ending but he never got to complete what was in his mind's eye.</p><p dir="ltr">"He imagined it to be performed by wind and string instruments, and of course his beloved piano."</p><p dir="ltr">Amanda said she has received dozens of submissions and hoped to collect as many as she could to help honour her "beautiful boy".</p><p dir="ltr">"Finding this composition was an unexpected gift from him," she said.</p><p dir="ltr">"Unfortunately we never got to hear him play it, so I want the world to be able to play it for me.”</p><p dir="ltr">"I just want to be able to change his memory from a tragic accident to something of beauty for others as well."</p><p dir="ltr"><em>Image credits: Facebook / Amanda Brierley</em></p>

Music

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Grieving Maggie Beer finds amazing way to honour her late daughter

<p>Australian culinary legend Maggie Beer and her husband Colin have found a heart-felt way to honour their late daughter Saskia. </p><p>Saskia, who shared her mother's passion for cooking and ran her own business, is about to be honoured in the form of a Churchill Fellowship. </p><p>"It allows people for, say, four to eight weeks, depending on what they envisage doing, of going overseas to find something that can't be learnt in Australia... that's the strength of it, and when they bring it back, they have to give back to the community in large what they have learnt," Maggie told <em>A Current Affair</em>.</p><p>"Through the Saskia Beer Churchill Fellowship, the people who are awarded that Fellowship will pay tribute to Saskia's life and continue her legacy through their passion for food," Winston Churchill Trust CEO Adam Davey said.</p><p>Two years ago, Maggie and Colin were blindsided by the sudden death of their 46-year-old daughter, who passed away unexpectedly in her sleep in February 2020. </p><p>Maggie said the beginning of the pandemic gave their family valuable time to grieve together. </p><p>"COVID to me was a bit of a gift, to isolate... we didn't want to talk to anyone except for our very closest," Maggie said.</p><p>After her daughter passed away, Maggie found solace in the kitchen: a space that they both shared a deep love for. </p><p>"My happy place is being in the kitchen... so it gave me comfort," Maggie said.</p><p><em>Image credits: A Current Affair</em></p>

Family & Pets

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Grieving family livid after devastating funeral mix-up

<p>A Sydney funeral director has apologised after a shocking mix up where a beloved husband and father was buried two hours before his funeral.</p> <p>Despina Nicolopoulos was preparing to say goodbye to her husband of 57 years, Angelos, at a Greek Orthodox Church in Bankstown late Friday when the mistake was discovered.</p> <p>The service was nearing the end when the group opened the casket to find the wrong body inside.</p> <p>Speaking to 2GB’s Ben Fordham, Euro Funeral Services director Spiro Haralambous said he takes full responsibility for the tragic bungle.</p> <p>“If I could turn time back to prevent this trauma, naturally I would,” he said.</p> <p>“I am so sorry. I wouldn’t want this to happen to me.</p> <p>“We need to be transparent with no spin-doctoring … and I’ll do everything I can to rectify this, less the trauma.”</p> <p>Mr Haralambous explained the two men were placed in identical coffins and had died on the same day.</p> <p>There were two different lids with the men's names engraved onto them, which were placed on the wrong caskets, he revealed.</p> <p>Staff cross-referenced the date, but failed to check the names matched the corresponding lids.</p> <p>“The drivers checked the lids, but of course, the wrong lid was on the wrong coffin,” Mr Haralambous said.<br /><br />He said the funeral company had organised more than 1000 services over the years and never experienced a mistake of this stature.</p> <p>Additional checks will now be done before a coffin is allowed to leave the business, he said.</p> <p>Staff were also traumatised by the bungle.</p> <p>“The girls in the office were crying and I didn’t know who to console,” he said.</p> <p>“It was just trauma left, right and centre, but at the centre of their trauma was the family’s trauma.”</p> <p>Ms Nicolopoulos earlier told 7 News her daughter noticed the man in the coffin was not her father.</p> <p>“Terrible thing to happen,” she said.</p> <p>Her husband was farewelled at a second funeral days later.</p>

Caring

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"Absolutely overwhelmed": Devastated mum grieves for her sons while in ICU

<div class="post_body_wrapper"> <div class="post_body"> <div class="body_text redactor-styles redactor-in"> <p>Shayleen Frail, the mum of two young boys who were killed in a hit and run crash, is devastated and trying to recover from serious injuries she sustained from the incident.</p> <p>She lost her sons, aged six and seven after they were struck by a car at high speed while walking home from the local swimming pool in Wellington.</p> <p>She was with them and sustained serious injuries which led to her being airlifted to Sydney hospital.</p> <p>Frail has suffered a punctured lung, a fractured knee and a spinal injury, but no permanent serious injuries.</p> <p>“Shayleen says ‘thank you from the bottom of my broken heart for all your kindness and well wishes’,” a post on social media said.</p> <p>The post also confirmed that she was in a stable condition in the ICU after having her breathing tube removed.</p> <p>Shayleen also requested that people stop sharing news articles or pictures of her sons as well as asking for privacy as she recovers in the hospital.</p> <p>However, she did approve one<span> </span><a rel="noopener" href="https://www.gofundme.com/f/shayleens-support-fund?utm_source=facebook&amp;utm_medium=social&amp;utm_campaign=p_cp+share-sheet" target="_blank">GoFundMe</a><span> </span>page, as she was "overwhelmed" by the support.</p> <p>"I’ve edited this post to add that it’s ok to continue to share the GoFund Me page," said the organiser Rebecca Clarke.</p> <p>"Shay knows that there is a picture attached to it. She had a quick scroll through the donors list today and couldn’t believe that so many people, including so many people who she doesn’t know, have donated to the cause.</p> <p>"She was absolutely overwhelmed at the support. I was also able to read a couple of your messages out to her today which lifted her spirits, so please continue to send your well wishes and I will try my best to read them out to her."</p> <p>At least three GoFundMe pages have been established to assist the mother and father in their recovery and have collectively raised more than $65,000.</p> <p>The driver of the hit and run Jacob Donn was driving without a licence and made no application for bail when he appeared in Dubbo Local Court on 14 charges, including failing to stop and assist, possessing prohibited drugs and dangerous driving occasioning death.</p> </div> </div> </div>

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Family grieve for young mum, partner and baby killed in deliberate house fire

<p><span>The grieving family of a young mum who was killed in a devastating house fire alongside her partner and child, have spoken about their loss at an emotional memorial service.</span><br /><br /><span>Abbey Forrest, 19, partner Inda Sohal, 28, and their three-week-old baby Ivy died in their Point Cook, Melbourne home last Wednesday.</span><br /><br /><span>The news of their death shocked the nation, after it was revealed the horrifying blaze was allegedly deliberately lit.</span></p> <p><img style="width: 500px; height: 281.25px;" src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/7839090/fam.jpg" alt="" data-udi="umb://media/d12802484987487bb7a36947c9bdcf21" /><br /><br /><span>Ms Forrest’s parents Alan and Elizabeth attended a memorial dedicated to the young family on Sunday along with dozens of members of the community, who brought balloons, toys and flowers to the site to remember the family.</span><br /><br /><span>A tree has been planted at a nearby park as a way to permanently honour the family, who had only just moved to the neighbourhood.</span><br /><br /><span>Mrs Forrest broke down while talking to 9News, revealing she had only just spoken to the “glowing” and “beautiful” mum just hours before the tragedy.</span><br /><br /><span>“I spoke to her the night before and she said: ‘Love you mum, talk to you tomorrow’,” Mrs Forrest said.</span><br /><br /><span>“Hug your children, because you’re not supposed to bury your children.</span><br /><br /><span>“So give them a hug and let them know that you love them, because you never know when you’ll see them again.”</span><br /><br /><span>Mr Forrest told the Herald Sun the “magic” memorial and support from the community helped his family as they grieve.</span><br /><br /><span>“I’m absolutely amazed by the amount of people and their generosity and support of what happened to my daughter, my granddaughter and future son-in-law,” he said.</span><br /><br /><span>“The amount of people who had that support for us, it’s just amazing.”</span></p> <p><img style="width: 500px; height: 281.25px;" src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/7839089/fam-1.jpg" alt="" data-udi="umb://media/c21a999b71394480ac8ca3a024c2e971" /><br /><br /><span>Victoria Police have charged 46-year-old Jenny Hayes with three counts of murder and arson causing death following the fire.</span><br /><br /><span>Abbey’s sister Emily has also set up a GoFundMe to help cover funeral costs and has so far made $31, 116.</span><br /><br /><span>Mr Singh’s parents, who live in India, are planning to hold a traditional ceremony for their son in his homeland.</span><br /><br /><span>“I want to do what we can for all three of these beautiful souls who had their lives tragically cut short,” Emily Forrest wrote on the fundraising page.</span></p> <p><img style="width: 500px; height: 281.25px;" src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/7839088/fam-2.jpg" alt="" data-udi="umb://media/ec82128aea4646ceb218fce1da0da652" /><br /><br /><span>Ms. Hayes is a sex worker who was not known to the young family.</span><br /><br /><span>She was visiting a man staying in the downstairs portion of their family townhouse.</span><br /><br /><span>She allegedly lit a mattress on fire after the pair argued over sexual services.</span><br /><br /><span>“As you are all aware, this has now been confirmed it was a deliberately lit fire and a 46yo woman has been taken into custody,” she posted.</span><br /><br /><span>“A big thank you to the emergency services who tried to save them, neighbours who attended that night and did their best, and all of those who have sent their sympathies and condolences whether you be family, friends or strangers.</span><br /><br /><span>“The community we are in is amazing and my family and I are beyond grateful for the help and support you have given and offered.”</span><br /><br /><span>Ms Hayes will next face court in March 2021.</span></p>

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