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Readers response: What celebrity do you think would make a great friend, and why?

<p>When it comes to celebrities, everyone has their favourites, their crushes, and those they'd rather steer clear of. </p> <p>We asked our readers what celebrity they think they would be good friends with, and the response was overwhelming. Here's what they said. </p> <p><strong>Judy Yannopoulos</strong> - Keanu Reeves. A true honest person with a good heart.</p> <p><strong>Jenny Maclean</strong> - Steven Fry. He’s honest and kind and so very intelligent.</p> <p><strong>Jeff-Lyn Bloom</strong> - Tom Hanks. He is so down to earth. Doesn’t put on airs.</p> <p><strong>Jan Totti</strong> - John Farnham, because he’s down to earth and there’s no pretences. He seems just a lovely honest person. He’s an amazing Australian singer.</p> <p><strong>Caz McDougall</strong> - Michael Sheen and David Tennant.</p> <p><strong>Karen Maberly</strong> - Judi Dench. Seems like a good communicator, sharp mind and full of fun, and not full of herself!!</p> <p><strong>Cheryl Cunningham</strong> - Denzel Washington. Totally honest and decent human.</p> <p><strong>Rhonda Moffitt</strong> - Maggie Beer. She treasures family &amp; others. Always smiling, Maggie I think would be great company.</p> <p><strong>Lisa Drury Hudson</strong> - Audrey Hepburn, for her compassion, strength, fighting for children's rights and empathy. What a loss.</p> <p><strong>Bob Wilkinson</strong> - Hugh Jackson and Chris Hemsworth as they both seem like down to earth nice people.</p> <p><em>Image credits: Shutterstock </em></p> <p> </p>

Relationships

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Longtime friend opens up on John Farnham's potential return to singing

<p>John Farnham is back in the spotlight following the release of his brand new memoir, <em>John Farnham: The Voice Inside</em>. </p> <p>The memoir explores the legendary singer's extraordinary almost six-decade career, with an insight into the star's notoriously private family life. </p> <p>As he slowly and steadily recovers from mouth cancer, the beloved singer's voice has been heard for the first time as he narrates the <a href="https://oversixty.com.au/health/caring/john-farnham-s-voice-heard-for-the-first-time-since-throat-surgery" target="_blank" rel="noopener">audiobook</a> for his memoir. </p> <p>Now, long-time friend Gaynor Wheatley has shared an exciting update on whether the music icon would ever perform again. </p> <p>"As soon as I saw him in the studio doing the audiobook and as soon as he got behind the microphone, the twinkle was in the eye," she told <em>Today</em>.</p> <p>"That's when I thought, you know, we're still in with a shot and he can still sing, his voice box is still great, there's just a few more things to do with the mouth recovery, but we all know he's as strong as a boxer so if he wants to do something, he'll do it.</p> <p>"If I say to him, 'You won't sing, you can't sing, what a shame', then he'll go, 'Yes I can, I'll prove you wrong'."</p> <p>In another interview with <em>The Project</em>, she recalled how the legendary singer still wants to perform despite his facial disfigurement from the surgery. </p> <p>“He’s a singer,” she said at the time. </p> <p>“I know when he got back in the studio doing the audiobook, he was like, ‘I want to get back, I want to go back’."</p> <p><em>Image: Today/ Facebook</em></p>

Caring

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Beloved Friends, Tootsie and Mr Mom star passes away

<p>Teri Garr, the beloved actress known for her iconic roles in classic films such as <em>Young Frankenstein </em>and <em>Tootsie </em>and her appearances on <em>Friends</em>, has passed away at the age of 79.</p> <p>Her death, confirmed by her publicist Heidi Schaeffer, occurred on Tuesday in Los Angeles, surrounded by family and friends. Garr's passing follows a long battle with multiple sclerosis, a condition she publicly disclosed in 2002 to raise awareness about the disease and its impact on daily life.</p> <p><span style="font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, 'Segoe UI', Roboto, Oxygen, Ubuntu, Cantarell, 'Open Sans', 'Helvetica Neue', sans-serif;">Born Terry Ann Garr in Lakewood, Ohio, in 1944, Teri grew up in a theatrical family; her father was a vaudeville performer and her mother a Rockette. This background set the stage for Garr's early career, which began as a background dancer in Elvis Presley films during the 1960s. Her breakout role came in 1974 when she starred as Inga, the charming lab assistant to Gene Wilder's character in Mel Brooks' </span><em style="font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, 'Segoe UI', Roboto, Oxygen, Ubuntu, Cantarell, 'Open Sans', 'Helvetica Neue', sans-serif;">Young Frankenstein</em><span style="font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, 'Segoe UI', Roboto, Oxygen, Ubuntu, Cantarell, 'Open Sans', 'Helvetica Neue', sans-serif;">. The film became a cornerstone of American comedy, showcasing Garr's unique blend of humour and warmth.</span></p> <p>Garr further solidified her place in cinematic history with her performance in <em>Tootsie</em> in 1982, where she portrayed the vulnerable actress friend of Dustin Hoffman’s character. This role earned her an Academy Award nomination for Best Supporting Actress. Critics praised her ability to balance comedy with emotional depth, with film critic Pauline Kael calling her "the funniest neurotic dizzy dame on the screen" at that time.</p> <p>Despite her success, Garr faced significant challenges due to her health. She was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis during the filming of <em>Tootsie</em>, a struggle she detailed in her memoir, <em>Speedbumps: Flooring It Through Hollywood</em>. In it, she described MS as a "sneaky disease," one that complicated her life and career but did not define it. “My body had a trick or two up its sleeve," she wrote. "A stumble here, a tingling finger there. I was trained as a dancer and knew better than to indulge the random aches and pains that visited now and then. Being a successful Hollywood actress may be challenging, but little did I know that the very body that had always been my calling card would betray me.”</p> <p>Garr became an advocate for the National Multiple Sclerosis Society, using her platform to inspire others facing similar challenges.</p> <p>Throughout her career, Garr appeared in over 140 film and TV projects. She was known for her roles in <em>Mr. Mom</em>, <em>Close Encounters of the Third Kind</em>, and various television shows including <em>Friends</em>, where she played Phoebe's birth mother. Her playful spirit and comedic timing made her a favourite among audiences and fellow actors alike.</p> <p>In recent years, Garr had limited her appearances due to health issues but remained an influential figure in Hollywood. Tributes have poured in from fans and colleagues alike, celebrating her legacy as a pioneer for women in comedy and an inspiration for those battling chronic illnesses. </p> <p>Teri Garr leaves behind a rich legacy filled with laughter and heart. She is survived by her daughter Molly O'Neil and grandson Tyryn. Her contributions to film and television will be remembered fondly by generations to come.</p> <p><em>Images: CNN \ Fox Studios</em></p>

Caring

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Colin Farrell completes marathon while pushing friend in wheelchair

<p>Colin Farrell has completed the Dublin Marathon by pushing his friend in a wheelchair across the finish line. </p> <p>The 48-year-old actor ran the final 4 kilometres of the 42km race while pushing his friend Emma Fogarty, who lives with a rare skin condition, to the end of the race. </p> <p>Back home in his native Ireland, Farrell ran the marathon to raise money for DEBRA, an Irish charity supporting people who, like Fogarty, have the incurable genetic condition epidermolysis bullosa (EB) – also known as butterfly skin.</p> <p>Fogarty is Ireland's oldest surviving person with the condition, and after reaching a milestone of turning 40 in June, her and Farrell pledged to complete the race together. </p> <p>According to the<em> PA Media</em> news agency, Emma was born with a severe form of the condition, as she was born with no skin on her left foot and right arm and can develop very painful blisters from even the slightest touch.</p> <p>Farrell told <em>PA</em>, "I have known Emma for many years and she epitomises bravery, she is what courage and pure determination are all about."</p> <p>"That run was nothing compared to the pain she is forced to endure every single day, even though she doesn't show it."</p> <p>"It was an honour to see her waiting for me with 4km to go, each of those representing a decade of her life, and to do the final stretch together. I'll never forget it."</p> <p>Also speaking to <em>PA</em>, Fogarty said, "This was a dream come true for me and I want to thank Colin, who has been the most supportive, generous and loyal friend I could wish for."</p> <p>"He has always shown his compassion and empathy for people living with EB and is a true champion in my eyes. Running a marathon is never easy but once he committed to it there was no going back, he is a man of his word."</p> <p>Fogarty and Farrell originally set out to raise €400,000 ($660,000 AUD) for the charity but now aim to hit the million-euro mark ($1.6 million AUD), after the pair completed the marathon in just over four hours. </p> <p><em>Image credits: CNN</em></p>

Caring

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The science of happier dogs: 5 tips to help your canine friends live their best life

<div class="theconversation-article-body"> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/mia-cobb-15211">Mia Cobb</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/the-university-of-melbourne-722">The University of Melbourne</a></em></p> <p>When you hear about “science focused on how dogs can live their best lives with us” it sounds like an imaginary job made up by a child. However, the field of <a href="https://www.rnz.co.nz/podcast/ourchangingworld?share=2ec8e0ad-5008-4b2d-ae2e-a288e2a77f50">animal welfare science is real</a> and influential.</p> <p>As our most popular animal companion and coworker, dogs are very deserving of scientific attention. In recent years we’ve learned more about <a href="https://theconversation.com/dogs-can-get-dementia-but-lots-of-walks-may-lower-the-risk-189297">how dogs are similar to people</a>, but also how they are distinctly themselves.</p> <p>We often think about how dogs help us – as companions, <a href="https://theconversation.com/meet-moss-the-detection-dog-helping-tassie-devils-find-love-142909">working as detectors</a>, and keeping us <a href="https://theconversation.com/is-owning-a-dog-good-for-your-health-238888">safe and healthy</a>. Dog-centric science helps us <a href="https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/veterinary-science/articles/10.3389/fvets.2021.666898/full">think about the world from a four-paw perspective</a> and apply this new knowledge so dogs can enjoy a good life.</p> <p>Here are five tips to keep the tails in your life wagging happily.</p> <h2>1. Let dogs sniff</h2> <p>Sniffing <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/animal-emotions/201902/allowing-dogs-sniff-helps-them-think-positively">makes dogs happier</a>. We tend to forget they live in a smell-based world because we’re so visual. Often taking the dog for a walk is our daily physical activity but we should remember it could be our dogs’ only time out of the home environment.</p> <p>Letting them have a really good sniff of that tree or post is full of satisfying information for them. It’s their nose’s equivalent of us standing at the top of a mountain and enjoying a rich, colour-soaked, sunset view.</p> <h2>2. Give dogs agency</h2> <p>Agency is a <a href="https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/veterinary-science/articles/10.3389/fvets.2023.1284869/full">hot topic in animal welfare science</a> right now. For people who lived through the frustration of strict lockdowns in the early years of COVID, it’s easy to remember how not being able to go where we wanted, or see who we wanted, when we wanted, impacted our mental health.</p> <p>We’ve now learned that <a href="https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/veterinary-science/articles/10.3389/fvets.2023.1250251/full">giving animals choice and control</a> in their lives is important for their mental wellbeing too. We can help our dogs enjoy better welfare by creating more choices and offering them control to exercise their agency.</p> <p>This might be installing a doggy door so they can go outside or inside when they like. It could be letting them decide which sniffy path to take through your local park. Perhaps it’s choosing which three toys to play with that day from a larger collection that gets rotated around. Maybe it’s putting an old blanket down in a new location where you’ve noticed the sun hits the floor for them to relax on.</p> <p>Providing choices doesn’t have to be complicated or expensive.</p> <h2>3. Recognise all dogs are individuals</h2> <p>People commonly ascribe certain personality traits to certain dog breeds. But just like us, dogs have their own personalities <a href="https://scitechdaily.com/food-vs-toys-scientists-reveal-what-dogs-truly-prefer/">and preferences</a>. Not all dogs are going to like the same things and a new dog we live with may be completely different to the last one.</p> <p>One dog might like to go to the dog park and run around with other dogs at high speed for an hour, while another dog would much rather hang out with you chewing on something in the garden.</p> <p>We can see as much <a href="https://www.science.org/content/article/your-dog-s-breed-doesn-t-determine-its-personality-study-suggests">behavioural variation within breeds as we do between them</a>. Being prepared to meet dogs where they are, as individuals, is important to their welfare.</p> <p>As well as noticing what dogs like to do as individuals, it’s important not to force dogs into situations they don’t enjoy. <a href="https://www.rspca.org.uk/adviceandwelfare/pets/dogs/behaviour/understanding">Pay attention to behaviour</a> that indicates dogs aren’t comfortable, such as looking away, licking their lips or yawning.</p> <h2>4. Respect dogs’ choice to opt out</h2> <p>Even in our homes, we can provide options if our dogs don’t want to share in every activity with us. Having a quiet place that dogs can retreat to is really important in enabling them to opt out if they want to.</p> <p>If you’re watching television loudly, it may be too much for <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/blog/canine-corner/202407/how-good-is-a-dogs-hearing-compared-to-humans">their sensitive ears</a>. Ensure a door is open to another room so they can retreat. Some dogs might feel overwhelmed when visitors come over; giving them somewhere safe and quiet to go rather than forcing an interaction will help them cope.</p> <p>Dogs can be terrific role models for children when teaching empathy. We can demonstrate consent by letting dogs approach us for pats and depart when they want. Like seeing exotic animals perform in circuses, dressing up dogs for our own entertainment seems to have had its day. If you asked most dogs, they don’t want to wear costumes or be part of your Halloween adventures.</p> <h2>5. Opportunities for off-lead activity – safely.</h2> <p>When dogs are allowed to run off-lead, they use space differently. They tend to explore more widely and go faster than they do when walking with us on-lead. This offers them important and fun physical activity to keep them fit and healthy.</p> <figure><iframe src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/2AchEFiDwA8?wmode=transparent&amp;start=0" width="440" height="260" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe><figcaption><span class="caption">Demonstrating how dogs walk differently when on- and off-lead.</span></figcaption></figure> <p>A recent exploration of <a href="https://pursuit.unimelb.edu.au/articles/we-checked-if-melbourne-really-is-a-dog-friendly-city">how liveable cities are for dogs</a> mapped all the designated areas for dogs to run off-leash. Doggy density ranged from one dog for every six people to one dog for every 30 people, depending on where you live.</p> <p>It also considered how access to these areas related to the annual registration fees for dogs in each government area compared, with surprising differences noted across greater Melbourne. We noted fees varied between A$37 and $84, and these didn’t relate to how many off-lead areas you could access.</p> <p>For dog-loving nations, such as Australia, helping our canine friends live their best life feels good. <a href="https://www.rnz.co.nz/national/programmes/afternoons/audio/2018957756/our-changing-world-the-science-behind-dog-welfare">Science that comes from a four-paw perspective</a> can help us reconsider our everyday interactions with dogs and influence positive changes so we can live well, together.<!-- Below is The Conversation's page counter tag. Please DO NOT REMOVE. --><img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/236952/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /><!-- End of code. If you don't see any code above, please get new code from the Advanced tab after you click the republish button. The page counter does not collect any personal data. More info: https://theconversation.com/republishing-guidelines --></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/mia-cobb-15211">Mia Cobb</a>, Research Fellow, Animal Welfare Science Centre, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/the-university-of-melbourne-722">The University of Melbourne</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Shutterstock </em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/the-science-of-happier-dogs-5-tips-to-help-your-canine-friends-live-their-best-life-236952">original article</a>.</em></p> </div>

Family & Pets

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Lost touch with someone? Reach out – your friend will likely appreciate it more than you think

<div class="theconversation-article-body"><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/peggy-liu-818769">Peggy Liu</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-pittsburgh-854">University of Pittsburgh</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/lauren-min-1354136">Lauren Min</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-kansas-1588">University of Kansas</a></em></p> <h2>The big idea</h2> <p>The next time you wonder whether to reach out to a friend, family member, classmate or other person who’s been out of touch for a long time, go ahead and do it. According to <a href="https://doi.org/10.1037/pspi0000402">our just-published research</a>, it’s likely they’ll appreciate it more than you think.</p> <p>In a series of 13 experiments involving over 5,900 participants, we – along with colleagues <a href="https://scholar.google.com/citations?user=0Stzf1cAAAAJ&amp;hl=en">SoYon Rim</a> and <a href="https://scholar.google.com/citations?user=TZQefJAAAAAJ&amp;hl=en">Kate Min</a> – wanted to investigate whether people accurately predict <a href="https://doi.org/10.1037/pspi0000402">how much their social contacts appreciate being reached out to</a>.</p> <p>In one experiment we conducted, college students wrote a note “to check in and say hello” to a classmate they hadn’t interacted with in a while. Then we asked them how much they thought their classmate would appreciate receiving this note.</p> <p>Next, we delivered these notes to their classmates and asked the recipients how much they appreciated receiving them.</p> <p>We found that the students who received the notes were much more appreciative of the gesture than the students who wrote them had anticipated.</p> <p>Other experiments varied the scenario by involving older adults as participants rather than college students, switching the written message to a small gift – such as cookies or coffee – and comparing how much the sender underestimated the appreciation that an emotionally distant contact would feel compared with a close contact.</p> <p>Overall they yielded the same basic finding: People tended to underestimate how much others appreciated hearing from them.</p> <p>What drives this underestimation? Our results suggest that it’s related to how little the people reaching out factor in the surprise felt by those being contacted. When we asked recipients what they focused on when indicating how appreciative they felt, they reported paying a lot of attention to their positive feelings of surprise, which were linked to how appreciative they felt.</p> <p>Comparatively, potential senders did not report focusing much on recipients’ positive feelings of surprise.</p> <p>It also mattered whether the two parties were already in a close relationship. People’s underestimations were even greater when their contact was a distant acquaintance because these recipients were especially surprised at being contacted.</p> <h2>Why it matters</h2> <p>Many people can name at least one person with whom they would like to reconnect. Taking a new job, moving to a different city, becoming a parent, or the busyness of everyday life – these are just some of the life events and circumstances that can cause people to lose touch. Then, if the desire to reconnect arises on one side, doubts may arise about whether the other person may appreciate being contacted out of the blue.</p> <p>When people consider taking the initiative to reach out, especially after a prolonged period of no contact, they may worry about being rejected. This worry might keep them from reaching out in the first place.</p> <p>Our research lessens this challenge by showing that often, these gestures will be much more appreciated than one might expect.</p> <h2>What other research is being done</h2> <p>Our findings fit within a growing stream of research examining the tendency to underestimate others’ appreciation of various social exchanges. For example, other researchers have found that people underestimate how much <a href="https://doi.org/10.1037/pspa0000277">others appreciate receiving compliments</a> or <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/0956797618772506">expressions of gratitude</a>.</p> <p>Our work adds to this area by broadening the scope of the contexts in which people underestimate how much social exchanges are appreciated. Reaching out could but need not require giving compliments or expressing gratitude – the gesture can be as simple as checking in with someone to show that one is thinking about them.<!-- Below is The Conversation's page counter tag. Please DO NOT REMOVE. --><img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/185001/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /><!-- End of code. If you don't see any code above, please get new code from the Advanced tab after you click the republish button. The page counter does not collect any personal data. More info: https://theconversation.com/republishing-guidelines --></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/peggy-liu-818769">Peggy Liu</a>, Ben L. Fryrear Chair in Marketing and Associate Professor of Business Administration, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-pittsburgh-854">University of Pittsburgh</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/lauren-min-1354136">Lauren Min</a>, Assistant Professor of Marketing, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-kansas-1588">University of Kansas</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Shutterstock </em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/lost-touch-with-someone-reach-out-your-friend-will-likely-appreciate-it-more-than-you-think-185001">original article</a>.</em></p> </div>

Relationships

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30 years of Friends: how the US sitcom became an enduring global sensation

<div class="theconversation-article-body"><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/richard-howells-1225412">Richard Howells</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/kings-college-london-1196">King's College London</a></em></p> <p>I have to be honest – I didn’t actually watch the first episode of the classic TV series Friends when it originally aired in the US on September 22 1994. Nor did I bother when it first turned up on British television the following spring.</p> <p>But the final instalment was a different matter. I was on a road trip in the US at the time and checked into a motel on the outskirts of Cincinnati, Ohio specially to catch the concluding episode (The Last One) on May 6 2004. Room service arrived in the nick of time. My burger and beer only fuelled my appetite for what was to come – and the anticipation of guessing what the final line would be.</p> <p>So why the big change? How did my attitude evolve from indifference in the nineties to excitedly pulling off the interstate in the noughties? The answer is key to the show’s success – and why it remains so popular today.</p> <p>Back in 1994, the initial premise of Friends seemed to lack promise. The plot revolved round six not especially interesting characters, and none of the cast was especially famous (at least to me). The show was set mainly in two adjacent apartments in Manhattan and a coffee bar called Central Perk to which the characters returned almost every episode and in which (in the best sitcom tradition) the best seats were always available. Crucially, not a lot actually happened.</p> <h2>The power of the ensemble</h2> <p>So why did it work? The first important thing is that Friends was not so much a situation comedy as a character comedy. That meant it did not need a remarkable premise or dramatic incidents to drive the show. It was an ensemble piece in which we gradually got to know the characters and the friends became our friends.</p> <p>The show was built around everyday storylines – crushes, romances and misunderstandings or maybe something as gently amusing as Ross overdoing the teeth whitener. Viewers began to identify with individual characters (<a href="https://www.buzzfeed.com/ljune/are-you-more-rachel-or-monica-from-friends-alfsqwp6hf">“are you a Monica or a Rachel?”</a>) or to take sides on the issues of the day. What, for example, are the relationship rules of being “on a break”?</p> <figure><iframe src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/TIK01MpwWGg?wmode=transparent&amp;start=0" width="440" height="260" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe><figcaption><span class="caption">One episode of Friends revolves around Ross (David Schwimmer) getting his teeth whitened.</span></figcaption></figure> <p>Friends was, of course, very well produced, cast and written. As it became even more successful, it survived the normally perilous inclusion of <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xHLaISBRmdI">celebrity guest stars</a> and – vitally – it never “jumped the shark” (industry-speak for growing out of its initial premise or building up to dramatic, but ultimately silly, plot gimmicks from which it is impossible to recover). Ultimately, and hearteningly, the six characters all remained friends.</p> <p>Beneath the professional craft and production polish of Friends, it is the concept of friendship, underscored with by the viewer’s sense of aspiration, which ultimately explains the series’ success then and now.</p> <p>One of the functions of popular culture is to provide a better imaginary world than the one we actually inhabit. In some ways this is simply compensation for the reality of the everyday: we dream of that which we do not have. It’s what the great Utopian sociologist Ernst Bloch called <a href="https://www.marxists.org/archive/bloch/hope/introduction.htm">“wishful images in the mirror”</a> – except that the mirror here is a television screen.</p> <p>The world of Monica, Rachel, Joey, Chandler, Phoebe and Ross is certainly a wishful one for many. They live in improbably nice apartments for their jobs (or lack of them), and they are defined by their personalities rather than their careers. They are good looking and well dressed, and the series centres on their ample leisure and social time. Unlike reality, arguments are always overcome and – most importantly of all – friendship always triumphs.</p> <figure><iframe src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/pPM7VxnVViw?wmode=transparent&amp;start=0" width="440" height="260" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe><figcaption><span class="caption">The first and last scene of Friends.</span></figcaption></figure> <p>What a contrast this vision provides to the actual lives of so many people today. The real world is beset with isolation, loneliness, sometimes insurmountable problems, occasionally fear and certainly drudgery. But with Friends, as the <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sLisEEwYZvw">chirpy theme song</a> reminds us, there is always someone “there for you” – if only in surrogate.</p> <p>Some critics today carp about the show’s <a href="https://metro.co.uk/2023/04/02/lack-of-diversity-on-friends-mocked-on-snl-after-years-of-criticism-18542168/">lack of diversity</a> and <a href="https://www.cosmopolitan.com/uk/entertainment/a38817/11-times-friends-sexist-homophobic/">outdated attitudes</a> to the cultural issues of the present day. While this may be true, like TV series, criticism also dates. And series which have long gone into reruns, repeats, streaming and syndication are virtually critic-proof in that they are recommended by word of mouth rather than increasingly ideologically centred reviews. Viewers just want it to be funny.</p> <p>Oh: And in case you were wondering, the final line in the whole of Friends went to the <a href="https://theconversation.com/matthew-perry-the-power-of-celebrities-speaking-publicly-about-their-addiction-216879">late Matthew Perry</a> as Chandler Bing. When Rachel suggests they all go for one last coffee, Chandler quips: “Sure. Where?”</p> <p><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/richard-howells-1225412"><em>Richard Howells</em></a><em>, Emeritus Professor of Cultural Sociology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/kings-college-london-1196">King's College London</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: NBC</em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/30-years-of-friends-how-the-us-sitcom-became-an-enduring-global-sensation-239464">original article</a>.</em></p> </div>

TV

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Family and friends farewell Sam Landsberger

<p>Sam Landsberger's family and friends have said their final goodbyes to the beloved sports journalist. </p> <p>The Herald Sun AFL and cricket reporter was talking on the phone with his mum while on the way to meet a friend when he was <a href="https://www.oversixty.com.au/health/caring/he-was-at-peace-sam-landsberger-s-parents-break-silence-after-sudden-death" target="_blank" rel="noopener">hit by a truck</a> at the intersection of Bridge Rd and Church St in Richmond, Melbourne on August 20.</p> <p>The 35-year-old later died at The Alfred hospital from his injuries. </p> <p>Hundreds gathered to farewell him at a funeral service at the Temple Beth Israel synagogue in St Kilda.</p> <p>His parents, Jake and Anne, have remembered their youngest child and only son as a "caring and wonderful" person. </p> <p>“Approximately 22 years ago our family stood in this same spot in this wonderful big hall celebrating Sam’s bar mitzvah, now we find ourselves in this exact hall in utter and complete devastation,” Jake said. </p> <p>“I heard so many stories that parents should never ever have to bury their children, yet this is what we are doing.</p> <p>“He was a dedicated, hardworking journalist who loved his job.</p> <p>“He brought so much joy to our lives. He lit up every room he entered, yet he lit up our entire lives.”</p> <p>His father also said that Sam's second grade teacher called him a "diamond" and it was the perfect word to describe him. </p> <p>Jake also recalled his favourite story about his son when he was 10 years old. </p> <p>“Sam had vomited all over his front, his chest was bright yellow,” he said.</p> <p>“I picked him up over the fence and we walked into the rooms to check him over … (only to learn) the reason he was sick was he’d just consumed a jumbo box of Cheezels.</p> <p>“From that time on, every member of the club would call him Cheezels.</p> <p>“At this moment it’s indescribable devastation we feel but also underlining gratitude for what he gave, a beautiful, gorgeous, caring young man who will never be forgotten and always be in our hearts.”</p> <p>Sam’s mother, thanked Herald Sun cartoonist Mark Knight for the <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/C-9BuSHTic-/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==" target="_blank" rel="noopener">"wonderful tribute"</a> that captured his spirit and likeness to his maternal grandfather. </p> <p>“I delivered Sam, I nurtured Sam and I am so grateful that I was with him at the end,” she said.</p> <p>“There will always be a massive hole in my heart. I love you and will forever.</p> <p>“Rest in peace my darling boy, I love you.”</p> <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/C-9BuSHTic-/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/C-9BuSHTic-/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by Mark Knight (@knightcartoons)</a></p> </div> </blockquote> <p>His older sister also talked about their heartbreak at losing their little brother, with a message from his niece being read out. </p> <p>“Dear Sam, I’m really going to miss you. I loved how you would push me on the swings...Thank you for teaching me about the Bulldogs. I’m sad I won’t get to see you again. Love Zara.”</p> <p>Another friend, Will Kim, revealed Sam was due to be best man at his wedding later this year.</p> <p>“I thought he’d be the one making a speech and saying nice things about me, not the other way around,” he said.</p> <p>“How cruel and unpredictable life can be.”</p> <p>Since news broke of Sam's death the footy community have shared their fond memories of him. </p> <p>“The entire AFL footy community is shocked and saddened to hear of the sudden death of Sam in a tragic road accident,” his online funeral notice stated.</p> <p>“His enthusiasm for the game and passion for his work was always evident and his positive approach and friendly nature will be fondly recalled by all who knew and worked with him.</p> <p>“Sincere sympathies to Jake, Anne, Jess, Sarah and all of his extended family, friends and colleagues.”</p> <p>The truck driver that struck Landsberger is due to appear before Melbourne Magistrates Court on September 19.</p> <p>While he underwent the standard roadside alcohol and drug tests, which were both negative, he was charged for refusing to provide a blood sample to police. </p> <p>He has also been given a notice banning him from driving until his first court appearance. </p> <p><em>Images: Herald Sun</em></p>

Caring

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Readers response: What’s the longest friendship you’ve had, and what has kept it strong?

<p>When it comes. to friendships, it has long been said that people come into your life for a season, a reason or a lifetime. </p> <p>These "lifetime" relationships are often the friends we made when we were young, who have been by our side through thick and thin. </p> <p>We asked our readers what their longest friendships have been and what made them so strong, and the response was overwhelming. Here's what they said. </p> <p><strong>Linda Cox</strong> - 72 years. We were toddlers when we met and even though we have lived on opposite sides of the planet for the last 50 years, we are still best friends.</p> <p><strong>Rae Meihuizen</strong> - 62 years. We met as a school friend of my cousin. He was my best man at my wedding and still a very dear friend to this day.</p> <p><strong>Jennie Harley</strong> - My friend from school in Sydney living in same street. Although we live a long way apart &amp; haven’t actually seen each other in many years, our phone calls, although sometimes we are both very slack, the relationship is always the same. No explaining things from the past just mutual understanding and love.</p> <p><strong>Marilyn Carter</strong> - 60 years. We all met doing our hairdressing apprenticeship. We love each other so much and do anything for each and every one of us. </p> <p><strong>Guila Kelly</strong> - Met at age 4 in prekinder. Born 2 weeks apart, both turn 80 shortly. Never a cross word.</p> <p><strong>Marjorie Smith</strong> - 82 years. Met at school in NZ when we were 10 years old. Still friends but in different countries. My friend was one of our bridesmaids in 1954.</p> <p><strong>Margaret Inglis</strong> - 74 years. Our mums were next to each other in hospital when we were born. I'm a day older, but even when my parents moved, Jennie and I would spend a few days each school holidays at each other's places. In 1969 I moved to Australia (from NZ) and we STILL catch up via FB etc. Went back to NZ for a few days about 7 years ago, yep, met up again and it was like we'd never been apart.</p> <p><strong>Ros Bieg</strong> - 64yrs. Unconditional friendship and sooo many memories.</p> <p><strong>Margaret Woodhouse</strong> - 68 years. We met at 12 and are 80 this year. Both totally different in personality, but tolerant of the differences and respect each other’s beliefs. Live in different states in Australia but FaceTime twice a week and spend 3-4 weeks together every year.</p> <p><em>Image credits: Shutterstock</em></p>

Relationships

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It’s hard to reach out to old friends, but doing so may help alleviate loneliness

<div class="theconversation-article-body"> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/lara-b-aknin-1365501">Lara B Aknin</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/simon-fraser-university-1282">Simon Fraser University</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/gillian-sandstrom-1283157">Gillian Sandstrom</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-sussex-1218">University of Sussex</a>, and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/kristina-castaneto-1548733">Kristina Castaneto</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/simon-fraser-university-1282">Simon Fraser University</a></em></p> <p>Millions of <a href="https://www150.statcan.gc.ca/t1/tbl1/en/tv.action?pid=4510004801">Canadians are lonely</a>. This is worrisome because loneliness, defined by the World Health Organization as “<a href="https://www.who.int/news/item/15-11-2023-who-launches-commission-to-foster-social-connection">the social pain of not feeling connected</a>,” predicts both lower mental and physical health. Research shows that lacking a sense of social connection can pose an <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/1745691614568352">equivalent health risk to smoking 15 cigarettes per day</a>.</p> <p>To combat loneliness, people are commonly advised to seek out social connection. For many, this guidance brings to mind spending time with loved ones, such as close friends, family and romantic partners. But are there other people we can reach out to?</p> <p>In our research, recently published in <em>Communications Psychology</em>, we examined whether people have “old friends” — individuals that they care about but with whom they have lost touch — and <a href="https://doi.org/10.1038/s44271-024-00075-8">how easily these relationships can be rekindled</a>.</p> <p>We found that certain strategies can help people reconnect — and, in new research, we are getting a sense that certain values and personality traits may make it easier for people to stay in touch far into the future.</p> <h2>Reconnecting with old friends</h2> <p>Across a series of seven studies, we found the majority of people reported having an old friend. Yet, when we asked over 400 participants how willing they would be to reach out to an old friend right now, most said they were neutral or unwilling. In fact, in one study, people reported being no more willing to reach out to an old friend than they were to talk to a stranger or pick up trash.</p> <p>This reluctance was observable in behaviour too. We conducted two experiments in which more than 1,000 people were given several minutes to draft and send a message to an old friend. Only 30 per cent sent the message to their old friend.</p> <p>Given that reaching out to an old friend could boost <a href="https://www.forbes.com/sites/nextavenue/2018/08/19/the-power-and-joy-of-reconnecting-with-old-friends/">feelings of social connection and happiness</a>, we tried designing interventions to encourage reaching out. For instance, we reminded participants that reaching out to an old friend was an act of kindness and that the recipient would appreciate it more than they realize. We also tried telling participants not to overthink it — to just send their message. Unfortunately, neither prompt was effective at encouraging more people to reach out.</p> <h2>Reluctance to reconnect</h2> <p>Why are people reluctant to reach out to old friends? There may be a number of reasons, including the possibility that old friends feel like strangers after time has passed. In one study with over 500 participants we asked people to list between three to five old friends, and tell us how close each one felt to them right now. The more unfamiliar an old friend felt, the less willing people were to reach out.</p> <p>Research has found that when people <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jesp.2022.104356">practise talking to strangers for a week</a>, they become less anxious about it. If old friends can feel like strangers, might a similar strategy encourage people to reach out to old friends?</p> <p>To find out, we conducted an experiment in which we randomly assigned some people to complete a three-minute warm-up activity in which they messaged current family or friends. Other participants were randomly assigned to a control condition in which they simply browsed social media for three minutes instead.</p> <p>Afterward, all participants were given an opportunity to write and send a message to an old friend. While only 30 per cent of participants sent their message in the control condition, over 50 per cent did so after warming-up, suggesting that practising the behaviour that underlies reaching out may make this act easier.</p> <h2>Personality traits</h2> <p>We are extending this research in a number of new directions. For instance, in some newly conducted and unpublished research, we are examining whether people with certain personality traits or beliefs are more likely to send a message to an old friend.</p> <p>Responses from over 300 people suggest that people who are open to new experiences — <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/basics/big-5-personality-traits">one of the five key personality traits studied by psychologists</a> — say they are willing to reach out to an old friend. Despite this inclination, our research found that highly open people do not necessarily communicate with old friends when given the chance.</p> <p>On the other hand, people’s values and beliefs may be important determinants of whether they stay in touch. Our preliminary work shows that people who see friendship as a bond that does not easily break may be more likely to reach out than others.</p> <p>We hope this work helps normalize the fact that friendships can fade and be hard to rekindle. That said, with some practice, people can overcome this reluctance and hit “send” to potentially open a path to connection and less loneliness.<!-- Below is The Conversation's page counter tag. Please DO NOT REMOVE. --><img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/234895/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /><!-- End of code. If you don't see any code above, please get new code from the Advanced tab after you click the republish button. The page counter does not collect any personal data. More info: https://theconversation.com/republishing-guidelines --></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/lara-b-aknin-1365501">Lara B Aknin</a>, Distinguished Professor of Social Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/simon-fraser-university-1282">Simon Fraser University</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/gillian-sandstrom-1283157">Gillian Sandstrom</a>, Senior Lecturer, School of Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-sussex-1218">University of Sussex</a>, and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/kristina-castaneto-1548733">Kristina Castaneto</a>, Master's Student, Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/simon-fraser-university-1282">Simon Fraser University</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Shutterstock</em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/its-hard-to-reach-out-to-old-friends-but-doing-so-may-help-alleviate-loneliness-234895">original article</a>.</em></p> </div>

Relationships

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Wellness is not women’s friend. It’s a distraction from what really ails us

<div class="theconversation-article-body"><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/kate-seers-1131296">Kate Seers</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/charles-sturt-university-849">Charles Sturt University</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/rachel-hogg-321332">Rachel Hogg</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/charles-sturt-university-849">Charles Sturt University</a></em></p> <p>Wellness is mainly marketed to women. We’re encouraged to eat clean, take <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/CYqaatWPxvy/">personal responsibility</a> for our well-being, happiness and life. These are the hallmarks of a strong, independent woman in 2022.</p> <p>But on the eve of International Women’s Day, let’s look closer at this <a href="https://theconversation.com/how-neoliberalism-colonised-feminism-and-what-you-can-do-about-it-94856">neoliberal feminist</a> notion of wellness and personal responsibility – the idea women’s health and well-being depends on our individual choices.</p> <p>We argue wellness is not concerned with actual well-being, whatever wellness “guru” and businesswoman Gwyneth Paltrow <a href="https://goop.com/wellness/">suggests</a>, or influencers say on Instagram.</p> <p>Wellness is an industry. It’s also a seductive distraction from what’s really impacting women’s lives. It glosses over the structural issues undermining women’s well-being. These issues cannot be fixed by drinking a turmeric latte or #livingyourbestlife.</p> <h2>What is wellness?</h2> <p>Wellness <a href="https://globalwellnessinstitute.org/press-room/statistics-and-facts/">is an</a> unregulated US$4.4 trillion global industry due to reach almost $7 trillion by 2025. It promotes self-help, self-care, fitness, nutrition and spiritual practice. It <a href="https://globalwellnessinstitute.org/what-is-wellness/">encourages</a> good choices, intentions and actions.</p> <p>Wellness is alluring because it feels empowering. Women are left with a sense of control over their lives. It is particularly alluring in times of great uncertainty and limited personal control. These might be during a relationship break up, when facing financial instability, workplace discrimination or a global pandemic.</p> <p>But wellness is not all it seems.</p> <h2>Wellness blames women</h2> <p>Wellness implies women are flawed and need to be fixed. It demands women resolve their psychological distress, improve their lives and <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/1360780418769673?journalCode=sroa">bounce back from adversity</a>, regardless of personal circumstances.</p> <p>Self-responsibility, self-empowerment and self-optimisation underpin how women are expected to think and behave.</p> <p>As such, wellness <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/CZs2iIxrSwb/">patronises women</a> and <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/CT3bw_Yhsp6/">micro-manages their daily schedules</a> with journaling, skin care routines, 30-day challenges, meditations, burning candles, yoga and lemon water.</p> <p>Wellness encourages women to improve their appearance through diet and exercise, manage <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/CZ7IO7qJHZ_/">their surroundings</a>, <a href="https://www.businessnewsdaily.com/5489-female-leadership-advice.html">performance at work</a> and their capacity to <a href="https://www.apa.org/topics/covid-19/working-women-balance">juggle the elusive work-life balance</a> as well as <a href="https://medium.com/authority-magazine/having-a-positive-mental-attitude-and-thinking-process-is-a-successful-key-to-healthy-wellbeing-ae11e303969c">their emotional responses</a> <a href="https://theconversation.com/planning-stress-and-worry-put-the-mental-load-on-mothers-will-2022-be-the-year-they-share-the-burden-172599">to these pressures</a>. They do this with support from costly life coaches, psychotherapists and self-help guides.</p> <p>Wellness demands women <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/CaFc2o7OHSf/">focus on their body</a>, with one’s body a measure of their commitment to the task of wellness. Yet this ignores how much these choices and actions cost.</p> <p>Newsreader and journalist Tracey Spicer <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/CaDh28nBp4k/">says</a> she has spent more than A$100,000 over the past 35 years for her hair to “look acceptable” at work.</p> <p>Wellness keeps women <a href="https://www.hercampus.com/school/bu/the-male-gazes-effect-from-beauty-ideals-to-mental-health/">focused on their appearance</a> and keeps them spending.</p> <p>It’s also <a href="https://medium.com/artfullyautistic/the-dark-reality-of-wellness-culture-and-ableism-307307fcdafb">ableist</a>, <a href="https://www.byrdie.com/wellness-industry-whitewashing-5074880">racist</a>, <a href="https://msmagazine.com/2020/07/16/tools-of-the-patriarchy-diet-culture-and-how-we-all-perpetuate-the-stigma/">sexist</a>, <a href="https://www.self.com/topic/anti-aging">ageist</a> and <a href="https://www.rnz.co.nz/news/on-the-inside/422517/the-pursuit-of-wellness-wellness-is-for-the-wealthy">classist</a>. It’s aimed at an ideal of young women, thin, white, middle-class and able-bodied.</p> <h2>But we can’t live up to these ideals</h2> <p>Wellness assumes women have equal access to time, energy and money to meet these ideals. If you don’t, “<a href="https://www.theguardian.com/society/2021/may/08/the-self-help-cult-of-resilience-teaches-australians-nothing">you’re just not trying hard enough</a>”.</p> <p>Wellness also <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/1360780418769673?journalCode=sroa">implores women</a> to be “adaptable and positive”.</p> <p>If an individual’s #positivevibes and wellness are seen as <a href="https://ideas.ted.com/why-we-should-say-no-to-positivity-and-yes-to-our-negative-emotions/">morally good</a>, then it becomes morally necessary for women to engage in behaviours framed as “investments” or “self-care”.</p> <p>For those who do not achieve self-optimisation (hint: most of us) this is a personal, shameful failing.</p> <h2>Wellness distracts us</h2> <p>When women believe they are to blame for their circumstances, it hides structural and cultural inequities. Rather than questioning the culture that marginalises women and produces feelings of doubt and inadequacy, wellness provides solutions in the form of superficial empowerment, confidence and resilience.</p> <p>Women don’t need wellness. They are unsafe.</p> <p><a href="https://www.ourwatch.org.au/quick-facts/">Women are</a> <a href="https://www.abs.gov.au/statistics/people/crime-and-justice/personal-safety-australia/latest-release">more likely</a> to be murdered by a current or former intimate partner, with reports of the <a href="https://theconversation.com/what-governments-can-do-about-the-increase-in-family-violence-due-to-coronavirus-135674">pandemic increasing</a> the risk and severity of <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/society/2020/dec/01/the-worst-year-domestic-violence-soars-in-australia-during-covid-19">domestic violence</a>.</p> <p>Women are more likely to be employed in unstable <a href="https://lighthouse.mq.edu.au/article/april-2020/Pandemics-economic-blow-hits-women-hard">casualised labour, and experience economic hardship and poverty</a>. Women are also bearing the brunt <a href="https://grattan.edu.au/report/womens-work/">of the economic fallout from COVID</a>. Women are more likely to be juggling a career with <a href="https://www.bmj.com/content/374/bmj.n1972">unpaid domestic duties</a> and more likely <a href="https://www.mercyfoundation.com.au/our-focus/ending-homelessness/older-women-and-homelessness/">to be homeless</a> as they near retirement age.</p> <p>In their book <a href="https://www.dukeupress.edu/confidence-culture#:%7E:text=They%20argue%20that%20while%20confidence,responsible%20for%20their%20own%20conditions.">Confidence Culture</a> UK scholars Shani Orgad and Rosalind Gill argue hashtags such as #loveyourbody and #believeinyourself imply psychological blocks, rather than entrenched social injustices, are what hold women back.</p> <h2>What we should be doing instead</h2> <p>Wellness, with its self-help rhetoric, <a href="http://www.consultmcgregor.com/documents/research/neoliberalism_and_health_care.pdf">absolves the government</a> of responsibility to provide transformative and effectual action that ensures women are safe, delivered justice, and treated with respect and dignity.</p> <p>Structural inequity was not created by an individual, and it will not be solved by an individual.</p> <p>So this International Women’s Day, try to resist the neoliberal requirement to take personal responsibility for your wellness. Lobby governments to address structural inequities instead.</p> <p><a href="https://www.mindful.org/why-women-should-embrace-their-anger/">Follow your anger</a>, not your bliss, call out injustices when you can. And in the words of sexual assault survivor and advocate Grace Tame, “make some noise”.<!-- End of code. If you don't see any code above, please get new code from the Advanced tab after you click the republish button. The page counter does not collect any personal data. More info: https://theconversation.com/republishing-guidelines --></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/kate-seers-1131296">Kate Seers</a>, PhD Candidate, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/charles-sturt-university-849">Charles Sturt University</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/rachel-hogg-321332">Rachel Hogg</a>, Lecturer in Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/charles-sturt-university-849">Charles Sturt University</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Shutterstock </em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/wellness-is-not-womens-friend-its-a-distraction-from-what-really-ails-us-177446">original article</a>.</em></p> </div>

Mind

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"Devastated": Chris Pratt mourns sudden death of longtime friend and stunt double

<p>Superstar of big and small screen Chris Pratt is grieving the death of his longtime friend and former stunt double, Tony McFarr, who was found dead at his home near Orlando, Florida, on Monday. McFarr was 47, and the cause of his death remains undetermined.</p> <p>Pratt and McFarr began their professional relationship on the set of <em>Jurassic World</em> in 2015. Their collaboration continued on <em>Passengers</em>, <em>Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2</em>, and <em>Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom</em>. Over the years, they developed a strong bond that clearly extended beyond their work on screen.</p> <p>In an emotional Instagram tribute on Friday, Pratt expressed his heartbreak over the loss of McFarr. "We did several movies together," Pratt wrote. "We golfed, drank whiskey, smoked cigars, and spent endless hours on set. I'll never forget his toughness."</p> <p>Pratt then recalled a particularly intense moment during the filming of <em>Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2</em> when McFarr suffered a severe head injury but quickly returned to work. "He was an absolute stud. He was always a gentleman and professional. He'll be missed."</p> <p>Pratt concluded his tribute by offering prayers to McFarr's friends and family, especially his daughter. He shared a series of photos showcasing their time together on set, displaying their striking resemblance, particularly when dressed in matching costumes.</p> <p><img src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/2024/05/ChrisPratt_Insta02.jpg" alt="" width="1280" height="970" /></p> <p>In addition to doubling for Pratt in several films, McFarr's impressive career included work on other major Marvel productions like <em>Captain America: Civil War</em> and <em>Ant-Man and the Wasp</em>. He also served as Jon Hamm's stunt double in the 2018 action comedy <em>Tag</em>.</p> <p><a href="https://www.tmz.com/2024/05/16/chris-pratt-stunt-double-tony-mcfarr-dead-dies-guardians-of-the-galaxy/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">According to TMZ</a>, McFarr's mother, Donna, reported that "he passed away Monday at his home just outside Orlando -- and while we're told the family doesn't know the exact circumstances of his death just yet ... Donna does say his passing is unexpected and shocking."</p> <p>"She says Tony was active and healthy ... and we're told the medical examiner's office is running toxicology tests now. The Orange County Medical Examiner confirms to us they have the case ... and that an official cause is still pending."</p> <p><em>Images: Instagram</em></p>

Caring

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"It seems crazy": Shane Dixon's gambling friend breaks his silence

<p>The man who befriended Shane Dixon on a P&amp;O Cruise before he plunged overboard has broken his silence, saying he too fell victim to seductive gambling tactics.</p> <p>The man, James, and his friends met Shane on the first day of the Elvis themed cruise and casually socialised throughout the entire trip. </p> <p>James, his friends, and Shane all spent time together in the onboard casino, where James was shocked by the blatant practices used by the cruise line to lure gamblers to the table.</p> <p>"We all got given free cruises to use in the next six months from the casino director and I myself racked up almost $2,000 gambling which was charged to my credit card, something I would never normally do in a million years," James told <a href="https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-13415149/p-o-cruises-gambling-shane-dixon-suicide-pacific-adventure.html" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><em>Daily Mail Australia</em></a>.</p> <p>"He [Shane] was a great guy and it’s so wrong how the casinos push so hard to get you to gamble more.'"</p> <p>When onboard a P&amp;O cruise, customers use their room key, or "cruise card", as a form of currency to pay for various items onboard the ships. </p> <p>Passengers can either pay "cash" by topping their cruise card up with set cash amounts using machines located around the vessel or by "card" by linking it to a credit or debit card.</p> <p>James said the same payment methods extend to the casino, as every time a passenger plays a game in the casino they need to scan their cruise card, regardless of which type of payment arrangement they have set up.</p> <p>When funds are depleted, players have the option to select "charge room" to add more money and the bill will be charged to the card associated with your room at the end of every day.</p> <p>James said paying with this method makes it difficult to track how much you have spent, particularly as there is no internet on board to monitor transactions through online banking.</p> <p>When James, luckily, won back most of his debt and chose to walk away from the table before any more damage occurred, he asked the cashier if he could enter a self-exclusion arrangement to bar him as he didn't trust himself to not spend the cash.</p> <p>However, James said the cashier told him self-exclusion was not an option.</p> <p>"They should have been able to [disable my room key] just like they do with minors, but the cashier said they don’t know how or if it’s even possible," he said.</p> <p>"It seems crazy!"</p> <p>According to P&amp;O's website, self-exclusion is one of the initiatives punters can access under the company's "commitment to the responsible delivery of gaming on our ships".</p> <p>The last time James saw Shane was while they were all dancing together in a bar at midnight on Monday. While he left to go to a club, Shane went back to the casino and just four hours later, the father-of-three was dead. </p> <p>"We were all drinking heavily but he was full of energy and happy," James said, recalling their last encounter.</p> <p>"He had been saying how he had lost heaps at the casino but we didn't know his situation so didn’t know how much of a big deal it was. He didn’t seem overly upset about it at the time. He seemed fine."</p> <p>Shane had racked up over $4,000 in gambling debt, and went overboard while the ship was making its way into Sydney Harbour. </p> <p><em>Image credits: Facebook / Shutterstock</em></p>

Cruising

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Best friends on the way to a wedding identified in fatal crash

<p>The best friends who were on their way to a wedding when they were struck in a fatal crash in Brisbane have been identified. </p> <p>Lily Galbraith, 24, and Emma McLean, 23, were travelling in a silver sedan through the Legacy Way tunnel on Wednesday at 3pm when they were hit by a black Audi. </p> <p>Ms Galbraith, a South Australian nurse who was originally from the Northern Territory, died in the crash, while Ms McLean is still fighting for her life in hospital after suffering critical injuries. </p> <p>The driver of the Audi, who also died in the crash, has been identified as former police officer Bruce Daley. </p> <p>After the Audi collided with the sedan, police believe the impact of the crash then pushed the sedan into a small truck, causing serious injuries to the driver of the truck.</p> <p>Mr Daley, who was medically retired from the Queensland Police Service in December 2014, had posted online about relationship struggles and loneliness over several years.</p> <p>Inspector Hansel said speed would be a “focus” of the investigation, with claims the Audi hit speeds of up to 200km/h before the crash.</p> <p>The Nurses and Midwives Memorial Page Australia paid tribute to Ms Galbraith on Thursday. </p> <p>“Rest in peace, Lily. Thank you for your service. Condolences to your family, friends and colleagues,” the post read.</p> <p>“All the very best for Emma and sending love to her family as they wait to see how her progress is. We are also thinking of the bride, groom and any wedding guests also mourning.”</p> <p><em>Image credits: Instagram / Facebook</em></p>

Caring

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Shocking reason why woman was dumped as her best friend’s bridesmaid

<p dir="ltr">A friendship has broken down live on radio, after a woman was dumped from being a bridesmaid after trying to attend a Taylor Swift concert the same night as her best friend’s wedding. </p> <p dir="ltr">Liv was one of thousands of Aussies who secured tickets to see Taylor Swift when her Eras Tour heads Down Under in February. Unfortunately for the young woman, the only night she could get tickets for was the same night as her best friend Jess’ wedding, where she was set to be a bridesmaid. </p> <p dir="ltr">Knowing about the concert while the wedding planning was taking place, Liv said she was nervous to tell Jess about the show, and decided to keep it secret while they were shopping for wedding outfits. </p> <p dir="ltr">Calling into the <em>Fifi, Fev &amp; Nick</em> radio show, Liv wanted advice on how to tell her friend that she planned to attend Jess’ wedding ceremony, and then leave the reception to attend the concert. </p> <p dir="ltr">The radio hosts decided to let the two women hash it out live on air, with Liv saying to her friend at the start of the phone call, “Obviously the whole Taylor thing, we've been talking about it and you've been saying how annoying it is that people have been backing out.”</p> <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/reel/C2cLqsqvcIw/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/reel/C2cLqsqvcIw/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by Fifi, Fev &amp; Nick (@fififevnick)</a></p> </div> </blockquote> <p dir="ltr">“But I haven't told you I got tickets for the Saturday and this was done before Christmas. However, I was thinking of trying to compromise here and make it work.”</p> <p dir="ltr">Liv shared her plan to “scoot off” in the middle of the big day, to which Jess was convinced she was being “pranked”. </p> <p dir="ltr">“I feel really bad, I do but I have loved Taylor for so long, you are aware of this and you knew how hard it was to get tickets,” Liv replied. </p> <p dir="ltr">But Jess flew off the handle at her friend, slamming her for withholding the news and poking holes in her compromise. </p> <p dir="ltr">“You've known this before December and it's three weeks until my wedding and you're telling me now?” she said. </p> <p dir="ltr">“You want to miss a part of my wedding to go to a Taylor Swift concert? You know how much this has been annoying me that people have been dropping out to go to her and you've known all along that you're going to go to her concert.”</p> <p dir="ltr">Liv said she feels like a “bad friend” before breaking down in tears, although Jess wasn’t having it. </p> <p dir="ltr">“I don't even understand though you've gone and bought tickets on my wedding date. I'm not trying to be mean right now, I think I'm just angry before I'm even upset because I'm so stressed, it's three weeks out,” she said. </p> <p dir="ltr">Host Fifi Box suggested Liv skip the concert, but she was hesitant calling the show a “once in a lifetime” opportunity. </p> <p dir="ltr">The pair eventually hung up, with Jess ringing into the radio show in the weeks after to share an update. </p> <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/reel/C29c8ERPrdT/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/reel/C29c8ERPrdT/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by Fifi, Fev &amp; Nick (@fififevnick)</a></p> </div> </blockquote> <p dir="ltr">“I was caught off guard, pretty mortified that she chose to do it live on air, and also pretty angry,” Jess told the Melbourne radio show hosts. </p> <p dir="ltr">“Liv and I did speak after the show, and I told her she’s shown her true colours and if she wants to go to the concert, she can go to the concert.”</p> <p dir="ltr">“She was a really good friend, and if she saw that a Taylor Swift concert was more important (than my wedding), that’s her choice but I don’t want her to be a part of my day.”</p> <p dir="ltr">When Fifi asked exactly what happened after the first call on air, Jess admitted that “there was a bit of fighting.”</p> <p dir="ltr">“She still wanted to take the route that maybe she could come for some of the wedding and then leave,” Jess explained.</p> <p dir="ltr">“But realistically that wasn’t feasible and to choose someone to be your bridesmaid — in my eyes — is a pretty big deal.”</p> <p dir="ltr">Jess went on to say that Liv “reached out to some of the other bridesmaids and offered to help with the hen’s night, to which she “told them to block her because I don’t want her involved with it at all”.</p> <p dir="ltr">The bride-to-be admitted that it had been a “rough couple of weeks” and that some of her friends are “cult Taylor Swift fans and have taken Liv’s side.”</p> <p dir="ltr">“It definitely hasn’t been the lead up to the wedding that I wanted, I didn’t expect to lose friends over such an exciting part of my life. It’s really emotional, it’s meant to be an exciting time for me,” she explained.</p> <p dir="ltr">“It just really sucks that someone who I loved so much has done this.”</p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Image credits: Instagram / Getty Images </em><span id="docs-internal-guid-b1fd920e-7fff-fda1-0a24-05d2c9a0abb2"></span></p>

Relationships

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The enduring appeal of Friends, and why so many of us feel we’ve lost a personal friend in Matthew Perry

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/adam-gerace-325968">Adam Gerace</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/cquniversity-australia-2140">CQUniversity Australia</a></em></p> <p>The <a href="https://www.9news.com.au/videos/world/friends-star-matthew-perry-dies-aged-54/cloatn0ae00ea0jqbpdz0h8td">death of Matthew Perry</a>, best known for his role as Chandler Bing in the television series Friends, has seen an outpouring of grief from fans and the Hollywood community.</p> <p>His passing at age 54 has shocked both those who admired his acting work, as well as those who followed his efforts to bring awareness to <a href="https://people.com/tv/matthew-perry-opens-up-about-addiction-new-memoir/">the pains of addiction</a>.</p> <p>Tributes to Perry have understandably focused on his star-making turn on the incredibly popular television sitcom. Scenes, catchphrases, and his character’s lines have been lovingly repurposed across the internet to memorialise the gifted actor.</p> <p>Meanwhile, many viewers have situated their <a href="https://variety.com/2023/tv/news/friends-fans-mourn-matthew-perry-new-york-apartment-1235772520/">recollections</a> of Perry and the series within the context of their own experiences.</p> <p>Viewers who came of age, or were the characters’ ages during the show’s original run, have reminisced about what the work of Perry and his co-stars meant to them at formative times in their lives. Newer viewers have similarly shared how important the series has been to them – their relationship with the show often beginning long after production ended.</p> <p>For many, Friends was the television equivalent of the soundtrack to their lives.</p> <p>To appreciate the staying power of the series for original and <a href="https://www.etonline.com/streaming-friends-how-a-90s-sitcom-became-gen-zs-new-favorite-show-132624">newer viewers alike</a> almost 30 years since it debuted, we need to consider what functions television viewing serves and the bonds we form with its characters.</p> <h2>Enduring appeal</h2> <p>Part of Friends’ popularity lies in its timing. The show premiered in 1994, a period when network television was still dominant. By its end a decade later, while the power of the big television networks had <a href="https://doi.org/10.1080/08838150701820924">eroded</a>, the series had maintained <a href="https://www.ratingsryan.com/2022/09/friends-nbc-ratings-recap.html">an average</a> of more than 20 million viewers each season.</p> <p>The 2004 finale brought in a <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2004/05/08/arts/friends-finale-s-audience-is-the-fourth-biggest-ever.html">record-breaking</a> 52.5 million viewers in the United States. The series then entered repeats around the world. It hasn’t left our screens since.</p> <p>The late 90s and early 2000s have sometimes been referred to as the end of monoculture. While a <a href="https://www.vox.com/the-goods/2019/12/17/21024439/monoculture-algorithm-netflix-spotify">contested and controversial idea</a> because of, among other concerns, who was included and excluded on our screens, monoculture meant we watched <a href="https://www.npr.org/sections/bestmusic2012/2012/12/21/167836852/the-year-in-pop-charts-return-of-the-monoculture">many of the same things</a>.</p> <p>One of the most popular shows of its era, Friends brought people together. It was a show we watched with our families or friends, spoke about the next day with colleagues, and it provided a common connection. It allowed bonding with real friends as much as fictional ones.</p> <p>Friends did not only reflect style of the time; it also frequently created it. Jennifer Aniston’s haircut, coined “<a href="https://www.bustle.com/style/the-rachel-haircut">The Rachel</a>”, or Perry’s lovable smart-alecky cadence, typified with Chandler’s catchphrase of “Could I <em>be</em> any more…”, were endlessly imitated. I know I attempted to replicate Chandler’s <a href="https://www.gq.com.au/style/celebrity/unexpectedly-great-fashion-inspiration-courtesy-of-friends/image-gallery/f55ac75cc180e31c462525da961295fc">sweater vests</a> and light blue denim look. Participation provided viewers <a href="https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1540-5931.2011.00866.x">a sense</a> of identity.</p> <p>As people enter their 30s and 40s, they often <a href="https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0208595">gravitate</a> towards the memories made during their formative adolescent and young adult years. So perhaps it’s no surprise Friends endures for original viewers as it represents – and was a part of – their lives at this important time.</p> <h2>Likeable characters</h2> <p>Television and other fictional media meet our needs for <a href="https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1468-2958.2009.01368.x">both</a> pleasure and extracting meaning. We get excited, entertained and moved by television.</p> <p>As part of this, we bond with fictional characters. We cannot help but <a href="https://doi.org/10.1207/S15327825MCS0403_01">empathise</a> with them. A series like Friends with its characters and their combinations of breakups, makeups and other mishaps allowed us to safely use our empathy muscles to cheer on and sometimes commiserate with the group of six. It helped that each character was flawed but inherently likeable.</p> <p>Fictional characters also allow us to <a href="https://theconversation.com/neighbours-vs-friends-we-found-out-which-beloved-show-fans-mourned-more-when-it-ended-212843">experience lifestyles</a> we might not otherwise. In the case of Friends, who didn’t want to live in a rent-controlled apartment like Monica’s, or regularly meet their supportive and funny pals for coffee at Central Perk? As a teen, I imagined such a world for myself in the not-too-distant future.</p> <p>Younger generations might be more aware of how out-of-reach that lifestyle was, or find the show’s <a href="https://ew.com/tv/jennifer-aniston-friends-offensive-new-generation/">humour sometimes dated</a>. But the idea of what the friends’ lifestyle represented – possibility, freedom, a chosen family – evidently still holds appeal.</p> <h2>Fictional relationships, but real sadness</h2> <p>In forming relationships with fictional characters, we form bonds with the performers who bring them to life. The lines between character and creator become blurry, both because of the knowledge about actors’ lives celebrity culture affords us, but also because their characters seem so real. When the actors pass away, we <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.chb.2016.06.042">feel real grief</a>.</p> <p>It’s important for fans of Matthew Perry to <a href="https://womensagenda.com.au/latest/why-with-all-the-sht-happening-in-the-world-its-still-okay-to-grieve-a-celebritys-death/">acknowledge</a> their loss. Even though his character is fictional, and you didn’t know him personally, you can still feel sad. Watching the series may be difficult right now. With time, it will become easier.</p> <p>Matthew Perry wanted <a href="https://www.independent.co.uk/voices/matthew-perry-death-addiction-alcoholism-drugs-b2437980.html">his legacy</a> to be awareness of addiction and the help he provided to people struggling with this disorder. Hopefully what will be felt now, alongside collective sadness, is an empathy for those facing addiction. That may be the power of television, and of a character named Chandler, and the actor who brought him to life, who many considered their friend.<!-- Below is The Conversation's page counter tag. Please DO NOT REMOVE. --><img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/216626/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /><!-- End of code. If you don't see any code above, please get new code from the Advanced tab after you click the republish button. The page counter does not collect any personal data. More info: https://theconversation.com/republishing-guidelines --></p> <p><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/adam-gerace-325968"><em>Adam Gerace</em></a><em>, Senior Lecturer and Head of Course - Positive Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/cquniversity-australia-2140">CQUniversity Australia</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/the-enduring-appeal-of-friends-and-why-so-many-of-us-feel-weve-lost-a-personal-friend-in-matthew-perry-216626">original article</a>.</em></p>

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"Matthew would enjoy the humour of it": Ironic detail spotted in Friends tribute

<p>While many fans of the long-running sitcom Friends are in mourning over the <a href="https://www.oversixty.com.au/health/caring/you-were-loved-tributes-flow-over-tragic-passing-of-matthew-perry" target="_blank" rel="noopener">sudden death of Matthew Perry</a>, others have delighted in an ironic detail surrounding the Friends apartment in New York. </p> <p>Since the announcement of Perry's death on Sunday, thousands of fans of the show has flocked to the apartment building in New York City's West Village, where the external shots of the gang's apartment was filmed, to pay their respects. </p> <p>While the sitcom, which ran for ten years from 1994, was actually filmed in Los Angeles, the Bedford Street address was used for the external shots of the New York-based show, with the humble apartment being home to each of the cast members during the show. </p> <p>Fans of the show have left notes, flowers, Central Perk memorabilia, and other sentimental items to pay tribute to the late actor. </p> <p>However, one eagle-eyed fan spotted a quirky detail hovering around the building, as Perry's death coincided with Halloween. </p> <p><iframe style="border: none; overflow: hidden;" src="https://www.facebook.com/plugins/post.php?href=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2FKidspotAustralia%2Fposts%2Fpfbid02xSVyrpRthTeLeBNqtvHKWUB36us5bVB5vKCW1R9DYgF66kBWqnsSYarY2kDFfCT3l&amp;show_text=true&amp;width=500" width="500" height="581" frameborder="0" scrolling="no" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe></p> <p>Part of the building's Halloween decorations included a large ghost hovering near the iconic apartment, with many quick to point out the hilarious irony of the figure floating above the makeshift memorial. </p> <p>“That Halloween ghost is kinda fitting for the photo/mood and I think Matthew would enjoy the humour of it,” fan Holly astutely pointed out, sharing photos of the ghost on Facebook.  </p> <p>The ironic decorations emerged shortly after Perry's Friends co-stars have <a href="https://oversixty.com.au/health/caring/so-utterly-devastated-friends-cast-break-silence" target="_blank" rel="noopener">broken their silence</a> over his sudden death in a group statement to People magazine. </p> <p>Jennifer Aniston, Courteney Cox, Lisa Kudrow, Matt LeBlanc and David Schwimmer said on Tuesday, "We are all so utterly devastated by the loss of Matthew. We were more than just cast mates. We are a family."</p> <p>"There is so much to say, but right now we're going to take a moment to grieve and process this unfathomable loss."</p> <p><em>Image credits: Facebook / Kidspot</em></p> <div id="fuse-injected-22953829264-1" class="fuse-slot-dynamic publift-video-ad" style="box-sizing: border-box; padding-top: 24px; padding-bottom: 24px; display: flex; justify-content: center;" data-fuse="22953829264" data-fuse-injected-at="1698722632652" data-fuse-code="fuse-slot-22953829264-1" data-fuse-zone-instance="zone-instance-22953829264-1" data-fuse-slot="fuse-slot-22953829264-1" data-fuse-processed-at="1440"> <div id="bb-iawr-over60au-1692594483990158" class="bb_iawr" style="box-sizing: border-box; position: relative; overflow: hidden; font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; width: 730px; height: 0px; opacity: 0.01;"> <div id="bb-wr-over60au-1692594483990158" class="bb-media bb_wrapper bb-muted bb-phase-init bb-mode-video bb-state-loading" style="box-sizing: content-box; cursor: auto; 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position: relative; transition: opacity 0.25s ease-in-out 0s;"> <div class="button-element svelte-1eoizxx no-toggle-transform" style="text-shadow: 0px calc(var(--font-size) / 12.5) 0px rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.25); box-sizing: border-box; width: 54px; height: 54px; position: relative; cursor: pointer; pointer-events: initial; border-radius: var(--border-radius); --foreground-color: #ffffff; --border-radius: 50%; --hover-transform: scale(1.2); --icon-height: 54px; --bg-height: 54px; --bg-width: 54px; --button-position: absolute;"> <div class="button-content svelte-1eoizxx" style="text-shadow: 0px calc(var(--font-size) / 12.5) 0px rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.25); width: var(--bg-width); height: var(--bg-height); transition: transform 0.2s ease-in-out 0s, opacity 0.2s ease-in-out 0s, transform 0.2s ease-in-out 0s; border-radius: 50%;" tabindex="0" role="button" aria-label="Play"> <div class="normal slot-content svelte-1eoizxx" style="text-shadow: 0px calc(var(--font-size) / 12.5) 0px rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.25); filter: drop-shadow(rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.25) 0px 2px 0px); box-sizing: border-box; position: var(--button-position); top: 0px; left: 0px; width: 54px; height: 54px; display: grid; align-content: center; justify-content: center; transition: transform 0.2s ease-in-out 0s, opacity 0.2s ease-in-out 0s, transform 0.2s ease-in-out 0s; opacity: 1;"> <div style="text-shadow: 0px calc(var(--font-size) / 12.5) 0px rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.25); min-height: 12px; height: var(--icon-height); line-height: var(--icon-height); min-width: var(--icon-height); display: inline-flex; justify-content: center;"> </div> <div class="toggled slot-content svelte-1eoizxx" style="text-shadow: 0px calc(var(--font-size) / 12.5) 0px rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.25); filter: drop-shadow(rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.25) 0px 2px 0px); box-sizing: border-box; position: var(--button-position); top: 0px; left: 0px; width: 54px; height: 54px; display: grid; align-content: center; justify-content: center; transition: transform 0.2s ease-in-out 0s, opacity 0.2s ease-in-out 0s, transform 0.2s ease-in-out 0s; opacity: 0;"> <div style="text-shadow: 0px calc(var(--font-size) / 12.5) 0px rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.25); min-height: 12px; height: var(--icon-height); line-height: var(--icon-height); min-width: var(--icon-height); display: inline-flex; justify-content: center;"> </div> </div> </div> </div> <div class="start-time svelte-fllze1" style="text-shadow: 0px calc(var(--font-size) / 12.5) 0px rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.25); top: calc(8px + var(--size-big-button)); position: absolute; left: 27px; transform: translate(-50%); background-color: var(--bg-color-pane); padding: 8px 16px; border-radius: 32px; font-size: 0.8em; margin-top: var(--margin-size); margin-left: 2px;" data-cy="start-screen-duration">01:31</div> </div> </div> </div> <div class="center-area svelte-10zo7b2" style="text-shadow: 0px calc(var(--font-size) / 12.5) 0px rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.25); flex-grow: 1;"> </div> </div> <div class="chrome-bottom-shadow svelte-10zo7b2" style="text-shadow: 0px calc(var(--font-size) / 12.5) 0px rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.25); transition: opacity 0.15s ease-in-out 0s; opacity: 0; position: absolute; inset: 0px;"> </div> </div> <div class="bb-layer bb-context-layer" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px; position: absolute; top: 0px; left: 0px; width: 730px; height: 411px; overflow: hidden; border-radius: 10px; pointer-events: none !important;"> <p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 1rem;">"For now, our thoughts and our love are with Matty's family, his friends, and everyone who loved him around the world."</p> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div>

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"So utterly devastated": Friends cast break silence

<p>The cast of <em>Friends</em> have broken their silence on Matthew Perry's <a href="https://www.oversixty.com.au/health/caring/you-were-loved-tributes-flow-over-tragic-passing-of-matthew-perry" target="_blank" rel="noopener">tragic passing</a> over the weekend. </p> <p>His co-stars Jennifer Aniston, Courteney Cox, Lisa Kudrow, Matt LeBlanc and David Schwimmer, issued a joint statement to<em> People Magazine </em>on Tuesday. </p> <p>"We are all so utterly devastated by the loss of Matthew. We were more than just cast mates. We are a family," the statement read. </p> <p>"There is so much to say, but right now we're going to take a moment to grieve and process this unfathomable loss."</p> <p>"In time we will say more, as and when we are able."</p> <p>"For now, our thoughts and our love are with Matty's family, his friends, and everyone who loved him around the world."</p> <p>The statement was signed by the cast. </p> <p>A few other <em>Friends</em> co-stars had previously paid tribute to the actor, Maggie Wheeler andMorgan Fairchild, were among them. </p> <p>Maggie Wheeler, who played Chandler's on-again, off-again girlfriend, Janice wrote: </p> <p>"What a loss. The world will miss you Matthew Perry. The joy you brought to so many in your too short lifetime will live on. I feel so very blessed by every creative moment we shared. ♥️"</p> <p>While Morgan Fairchild, who played Chandler's mother, Nora Bing, said she was "heartbroken" by the untimely loss of her "son". </p> <p><em>Images: Getty</em></p> <p> </p>

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5 signs your friend is struggling with serious debt

<p>Money is always going to be a sensitive topic, and part of the reason for this is the fact that so many people willingly suffer in silence. But if you notice the warning signs, you have to take action. Here are five signs your friend is struggling with serious debt.</p> <p><strong>1. They keep cancelling plans</strong></p> <p>Whether you’re talking about dinner, drinks or even just the occasional coffee, if your friend keeps cancelling plans (particularly if they didn’t have a reputation for doing so in the past) that could be a sign that they’re struggling with their finances.</p> <p><strong>2. Unopened bills</strong></p> <p>If you’re visiting your friend’s home and you notice a pile of unopened bills, this is a classic sign of money troubles. Generally these bills are left unopened because the recipient does not want to see what’s inside, or deal with the monetary consequences.</p> <p><strong>3. Sudden changes in behaviour</strong></p> <p>Does your friend seem more fidgety that usual? Do they become cagey or defensive when money matters are mentioned? Are they bitter when discussing other people’s spending habits? This could indicate stress about their own individual financial situation.</p> <p><strong>4. Ignoring calls and knocks on the door</strong></p> <p>If you’ve been staying at your friend’s house and noticed a knock on the door or phone that’s been left unanswered on multiple occasions this could be a very bad sign. Often this is out of fear of dealing with a debt collector who could be on the other side.</p> <p><strong>5. Not adapting to changes in circumstances very well</strong></p> <p>Lifestyle changes generally come with a change in financial circumstances, but if you’ve noticed a sign that your friend is living in the same way that may be a sign that they’re ignoring the demands of their new situation and not putting themselves in a position to succeed.</p> <p><strong>What can I do?</strong></p> <p>Experts recommend taking the following steps if you know a friend who is struggling to deal with debt. That being said, sometimes just providing someone to talk to about it can make all the difference.</p> <ul> <li>Encourage them to talk to their credit provider and discuss payment options.</li> <li>Talk about applying or a hardship variation to help make payments.</li> <li>Direct them to a financial counselling service.</li> <li>Encourage them to take up free legal advice.</li> </ul> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p>

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Hugh Jackman's first outing with his famous friends after bombshell split

<p>Hugh Jackman has been spotted rubbing shoulders with his famous friends in his first public outing since announcing his divorce. </p> <p>The actor was joined by Hollywood A-listers Ryan Reynolds, Blake Lively, Sophie Turner, Taylor Swift and many more famous mates at an NFL game in New York. </p> <p>The celebrity group showed up at the game in support of their friend Taylor Swift, who was barracking on for her rumoured new boyfriend, NFL player Travis Kelce. </p> <p>Jackman snapped a series of selfies with his pals, sporting a beaming smile. </p> <blockquote class="twitter-tweet"> <p dir="ltr" lang="en">Shawn Levy shares new photo with Taylor Swift, Hugh Jackman, Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively. <a href="https://t.co/8XkYlm1Uqj">pic.twitter.com/8XkYlm1Uqj</a></p> <p>— Pop Base (@PopBase) <a href="https://twitter.com/PopBase/status/1708928938448232854?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">October 2, 2023</a></p></blockquote> <blockquote class="twitter-tweet"> <p dir="ltr" lang="en">Hugh Jackman, Ryan Reynolds and Shawn Levy tonight at New York Jets football game 📸 <a href="https://t.co/d5T55C4BpH">pic.twitter.com/d5T55C4BpH</a></p> <p>— Deadpool Updates (@DeadpoolUpdate) <a href="https://twitter.com/DeadpoolUpdate/status/1708636773629182395?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">October 2, 2023</a></p></blockquote> <blockquote class="twitter-tweet"> <p dir="ltr" lang="en">📷| <a href="https://twitter.com/taylorswift13?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">@TaylorSwift13</a> with Blake Lively, Ryan Reynolds and Hugh Jackman <a href="https://t.co/7X6DND2VQV">pic.twitter.com/7X6DND2VQV</a></p> <p>— The Swift Society (@TheSwiftSociety) <a href="https://twitter.com/TheSwiftSociety/status/1708816628471812467?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">October 2, 2023</a></p></blockquote> <p>Despite Hugh's happy smile when posing for cameras, while being snapped in candid moments, fans were quick to point out that he seemed downcast while watching the game. </p> <p>“Poor Hugh looks miserable,” one person wrote on X, formerly known as Twitter.</p> <p>“Hugh doesn’t seem himself,” said another.</p> <p>“I’m glad Hugh Jackman is out and supported by friends, poor thing,” a third wrote.</p> <p>One person wrote light-heartedly, “Hugh Jackman in his single era let’s gooooooo.”</p> <p>Jackman's public outing comes just weeks after announcing he and his wife Deborra-Lee Furness are getting a divorce. </p> <p>The Hollywood couple <a href="https://oversixty.com.au/lifestyle/relationships/hugh-jackman-devastated-after-marriage-split" target="_blank" rel="noopener">shocked the world</a> on September 15th when they released a statement confirming their separation after being married for 27 years.</p> <p>“We have been blessed to share almost three decades together as husband and wife in a wonderful, loving marriage,” Jackman and Furness told <em><a href="https://people.com/hugh-jackman-and-deborra-lee-jackman-separate-exclusive-7970286" target="_blank" rel="noopener" data-link-type="article-inline">People</a></em>.</p> <p>“Our journey now is shifting and we have decided to separate to pursue our individual growth."</p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images / Instagram</em></p>

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