Much of what unfolded on December 14 remains a blur for Bondi lifeguard Jackson Doolan, but one particular moment will never be forgotten.
Doolan was among the first responders after two gunmen opened fire at the Chanukah by the Sea Jewish celebration.
In his first television interview since the attack, he told the ABC the scene was marked by shock and confusion.
Amid the chaos, Doolan recalls treating 14-year-old Chaya, who had been shot in the leg.
“She was just in a lot of pain … and I think just in a lot of shock,” Doolan recalled.
“That probably sticks with me the most, just the fear in a lot of the victims’ eyes, but especially hers because I noted how young she was.”
Known as “Jacko” to his colleagues, Doolan said he stayed with the teenager for quite a while, applying pressure to her wound and trying to comfort her.
“I was just saying, ‘you’re going to get through this, you’re going to get through this, we’ll all get through it’,” Doolan said.
“Luckily for her, you know, she did and so [I’m] thankful.”
Chaya, whom Doolan has since reconnected with, was one of several injured people he assisted that night.
As Australia marks a National Day of Mourning for the victims of the terrorist attack, Doolan said he is still processing the trauma of what he witnessed.
“It was a lot … some really horrific injuries and stuff that, you know, people should never probably be exposed to,” he said.
After taking leave over the holiday period, Doolan has since returned to work, which he said has been a relief. He has also leaned on the support of family, friends and fellow surf lifesavers – some of whom were also present at the scene.
“The boys that were there on the day, I feel like we’re going to probably have a special bond for the rest of our lives,” Doolan said.
“I’d look around, and all the boys were sort of there, and we’d just give each other a nod.”
Doolan was among several first responders, including Ahmed al-Ahmed, to receive a standing ovation at the SCG during the final Test of the Ashes series.
In the days following the attack, an image of Doolan running barefoot toward the scene while carrying a defibrillator circulated widely online.
At the time, he was about 15 minutes from finishing his shift at nearby Bronte Beach when he heard gunshots coming from Bondi.
A radio call from colleagues already at the scene requested additional first-aid supplies.
Doolan and a trauma nurse who had also heard what was happening drove toward Bondi, stopping at neighbouring Tamarama when they realised police had likely cordoned off the area.
They then stopped the car and ran.
“I had no shoes on, which was fine to me. I’m from Queensland, so a lot of us get around in barefoot up there,” Doolan said.
“I’ve grabbed the defibrillator, and I didn’t even think, to be honest. I just knew I needed to help. There wasn’t much thought into it.”
He recalled hundreds of people fleeing in the opposite direction but said the danger did not register at the time.
“My brain was probably just in fight or flight mode and I just knew that the victims needed the defibrillator, and they probably needed all the first aid supplies,” he said.
“It’s sort of, I guess, in our DNA … I was backing up my friends and I knew that there’d been an attack on our community and I just wanted to help. That was it.”
While Bondi and the nation continue to grieve, Doolan said he believes the community will endure.
“I know that we won’t be defined by this,” he said.
“It’s just such an iconic beach, time heals everything and I think with time the Bondi community can get through it together.”
“When we struggle, someone picks you up. It’s just the way things work down here. We love each other. There’s just so much love.”
Images: Instagram
