Novak Djokovic has endured quarantine dramas, visa sagas and the occasional boo from the cheap seats, but it turns out there’s one Australian habit he simply cannot forgive: sharing dessert with the dog.
The 24-time Grand Slam champion was a special guest on Nine’s The Hundred on Wednesday night, joining Andy Lee and Mike Goldstein for a quiz that asks 100 Australians what they really think. What followed was less cultural exchange, more slow-motion horror movie.
Djokovic’s confusion began early, with Lee opening proceedings by asking: “What percentage of Australian parents would admit they have an ugly baby?”
The Serb froze.
“Oh my god. That’s weird and rude,” he said, sounding like a man reconsidering his decision to fly 16 hours for summer tennis.
Djokovic hazarded a guess of 16 per cent. The real figure was a comparatively merciful six per cent – though the damage to his faith in humanity had already been done.
Next came a question on whether Australians reckon it’s okay to FaceTime in public. Confident now, Djokovic declared it an “obvious yes”.
“Aussies are always outdoors, good weather, very outgoing, so I don’t think they mind,” he reasoned.
Wrong again. More than half of Australians said it was not okay, leaving Djokovic baffled and apparently rethinking everything he thought he knew about the nation.
But nothing prepared him for the final blow.
“What percentage of Australian dog owners would let their dog lick their ice cream?” host Andy Lee asked.
Djokovic recoiled.
“What? Oh my god,” he said, visibly distressed. “Anything above 10 per cent will be ridiculous!”
Goldstein suggested 25 per cent, helpfully adding that many dog owners have “a very close relationship” with their pets, and that context matters – including, disturbingly, where the ice cream is located (makes sense. You’d certanly let your pup clean up some spilled ice-cream on your leg).
The tennis great could only squirm and mutter “oh my god” as Lee revealed the answer: 19 per cent.
“Australia, what is wrong with you?” Djokovic asked, sounding less like a visiting athlete and more like a disappointed parent.
Despite the trauma, Djokovic has become a regular on Channel Nine whenever he’s here, also appearing in Andy Lee’s comedic spin on the board game Guess Who. Off the court, he may be questioning Australian life choices, but on it he’s looked entirely comfortable.
Djokovic hasn’t dropped a set in his opening two rounds at Melbourne Park and looms as the biggest threat to Jannik Sinner and Carlos Alcaraz in the Australian Open draw.
The 38-year-old is chasing a record-extending 11th title in Melbourne, though he admits he’s not sure if he still has the “juice” in his legs to go all the way.
Based on his reaction to the ice-cream question, however, one thing is certain: he’s got plenty of energy left to judge Australia.
Images: Nine
