4 ways to address a sexless marriage
<p>Before we get started, let’s state boldly and up front that many couple experience periods of time without physical intimacy; this can last for weeks, months, or even years – depending upon the couple. The Australian Study of Health and Relationships revealed that over 14 per cent of heterosexual women had not had sex with their partner in over four weeks. Some couples find that this works well for them, and settle into a life that has emotional intimacy without sexual contact. But if you’re living in a marriage or long-term relationship without sex, we have some advice for how you can go about changing that.</p>
<p><strong>1. Avoid placing blame</strong></p>
<p>Everyone’s sexual libido is different, and is affected by a myriad of factors, so it’s important to avoid deciding that a lack of sex in your relationship is the fault of one person or the other. As soon as blame is brought into the mix, finding a solution to the problem becomes much more difficult.</p>
<p><strong>2. Choose the perfect moment to talk</strong></p>
<p>Bringing up the subject of your sexless marriage as you lie in bed at night is not ideal. Especially not if one of you has just unsuccessfully tried to initiate a moment of physical intimacy. Instead, take some time to think carefully about what you want to say, and how you can best bring up the subject without offending or upsetting your partner – you want them to be receptive to the idea of talking about and finding a solution to the problem. Choose a moment when you know you will have the time and privacy to talk, and when you are in a space that is relaxing for you both.</p>
<p><strong>3. Invest time in each other and your relationship</strong></p>
<p>Sometimes relationships can fall into a pattern more akin to roommates than partners, and if this isn’t working for you, investing the time and energy into stimulating those early romantic feelings can be a great way to kick-start your sex life. Plan a romantic evening together – something more special than your usual date night. Perhaps a restaurant with a romantic atmosphere, or a picnic in a picturesque location. Try to think about what you might have done if you were still dating, and do your best to recreate that feeling that it’s just the two of you.</p>
<p><strong>4. Consider professional help</strong></p>
<p>If both you and your partner decide that you want to address the absence of sex in your relationship, but are unsure how to proceed, then it may be helpful to schedule an appointment with a sex therapist. Professional help can help you find the underlying causes for your problem, and help you find practical ways to address them.</p>
<p>Have you and your partner experienced sex droughts? What have you done to address this?</p>
