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The Block judge Shaynna Blaze separates from husband of 18 years

<p>Resident judge on <em style="font-weight: inherit;">The Block</em> and interior designer, Shaynna Blaze, has announced that she’s separated from her husband, Steve Vaughan.</p> <p>The 55-year-old shared the news on Instagram that she is no longer in a relationship with her husband of 18 years.</p> <p>“Sometimes in life, our paths change directions and now this is one of those times for me with Steve and I separating,” she wrote.</p> <p>“I will not be making any further statements about this and whilst I appreciate your support I ask that you respect our right to privacy. Thank you, Shaynna.”</p> <blockquote style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/BmiSU5IlNJi/?utm_source=ig_embed" data-instgrm-version="9"> <div style="padding: 8px;"> <div style="background: #F8F8F8; line-height: 0; margin-top: 40px; padding: 50.0% 0; text-align: center; width: 100%;"> <div style="background: url(data:image/png; base64,ivborw0kggoaaaansuheugaaacwaaaascamaaaapwqozaaaabgdbtueaalgpc/xhbqaaaafzukdcak7ohokaaaamuexurczmzpf399fx1+bm5mzy9amaaadisurbvdjlvzxbesmgces5/p8/t9furvcrmu73jwlzosgsiizurcjo/ad+eqjjb4hv8bft+idpqocx1wjosbfhh2xssxeiyn3uli/6mnree07uiwjev8ueowds88ly97kqytlijkktuybbruayvh5wohixmpi5we58ek028czwyuqdlkpg1bkb4nnm+veanfhqn1k4+gpt6ugqcvu2h2ovuif/gwufyy8owepdyzsa3avcqpvovvzzz2vtnn2wu8qzvjddeto90gsy9mvlqtgysy231mxry6i2ggqjrty0l8fxcxfcbbhwrsyyaaaaaelftksuqmcc); display: block; height: 44px; margin: 0 auto -44px; position: relative; top: -22px; width: 44px;"></div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BmiSU5IlNJi/?utm_source=ig_embed" target="_blank">A post shared by shaynnablaze (@shaynnablaze)</a> on Aug 16, 2018 at 3:03am PDT</p> </div> </blockquote> <p>The unexpected revelation comes just four months after Blaze shared with <a href="https://www.newidea.com.au"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><em style="font-weight: inherit;">New Idea</em></strong></span></a> the secret to her happy marriage.</p> <p>“The secret is every time we go out, it actually is date night,” she told <em style="font-weight: inherit;">New Idea</em>.</p> <p>“You treat each other as your date, rather than just expecting them to always be there.</p> <p>“When you catch up, you just make sure that you’re present. You make sure that you’re there with each other and always touching base.”</p> <p>Vaughan, who is a personal trainer, was Blaze’s second husband.</p> <p>Blaze has two children, Jesse and Carly, from her first marriage. </p>

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Cassandra Thorburn opens up about her new life: “I feel like we’re dead to Karl’s family”

<p>It has been two years since Today host Karl Stefanovic split with his wife of 21 years, Cassandra Thorburn.</p> <p>In an exclusive interview with <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em><strong><a href="https://www.nowtolove.com.au/news/local-news/cassandra-thorburn-life-without-karl-stefanovic-50576">Women’s Weekly</a></strong></em></span>, Thorburn has opened up about finding herself– as well as her confidence and resilience – again after the divorce left her in a very dark place.</p> <p>"Thankfully I've been gifted with enough resilience and strength to have got us all through these past two years," Thorburn tells the publication.</p> <p>"Last year, I declared that Karl really was dead to me, a man I no longer know, but the children still have their father."</p> <p>"The flip-side of that is I feel like we're dead to his family and almost anyone from our old life."</p> <p>"There has been practically no contact. I feel like we've been discarded and disposed of, replaced by a whole new line-up of starters."</p> <p>"It has been a real adjustment period for me."</p> <p>Thorburn, who shares three children with Stefanovic, also revealed that she was embarking on a new career as a children’s book author. Together with her close friend, Cara Campbell, she has co-authored <em>Leo Lion’s BIG Bed!</em>, which is set for release this month.</p> <p>A former journalist, Thorburn put her own career on hold to be a stay-at-home mum for her children – Jackson, now almost 19, Ava, 13, and River, 11 – while Stefanovic pursued his journalism career.</p> <p>Stefanovic is now one of the highest paid TV personalities in the country. Despite all that’s happened, Thorburn doesn’t regret her decision at all, saying being a stay-at-home mum does not mean she’s lost out.</p> <p> “I’ve had an incredibly full and interesting life and wouldn’t give up the years of being there for them for anything,” Thorburn said.</p> <p>“It incenses me that stay-at-home mums are, on the one hand, applauded for putting family first, making the choice to forgo careers for the sake of our children.</p> <p>“But then, when there is a split, we’re either accused of manipulating the children or criticised for asking for the money that is rightfully ours — you can’t win.”</p> <p>Stefanovic’s family has responded to Thorburn’s interview, releasing a statement to <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="https://celebrity.nine.com.au/2018/08/15/18/32/karl-stefanovic-family-comments-cassandra-thorburn">Nine’s TheFIX</a></strong></span>: “We are disappointed Cass would claim such inflammatory suggestions that we have alienated Karl’s children from our family.</p> <p>“Nothing could be further from the truth. Karl regularly co-parents his children and has his loving family around them.</p> <p>“We refuse to keep a running dialogue of the children. There are custody and financial matters before the Family Court and Karl has abided by every single one of them and we will not jeopardise it. Family is often compromised when parents go through a painful divorce and we do our best to continue our love and support for the children.”</p>

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Then and now – how the concept of arranged marriage has changed throughout the years

<p>At the age of 24, Meera Patel had set her sights on finding a husband within a year, and she did exactly that with the help of her parents and the age-old tradition of arranged marriage.</p> <p>Having never dabbled in the world of dating, let alone marriage, the Sydney pharmacy student made sure to keep her expectations realistic. Speaking to the <em><a rel="noopener" href="http://www.abc.net.au/news/2018-08-15/why-indian-australian-millennials-choosing-arranged-marriage/10113718" target="_blank">ABC</a></em>, she said that she wasn’t planning on “casting positive thoughts into the universe".</p> <p>As a Gujarati Indian woman, the concept of arranged marriage is common but over the years, it has modernised to become adaptable with today’s society. The method, which is a popular form of matchmaking in South Asia, dates to thousands of years.</p> <p>A study on the <em><a rel="noopener" href="https://economictimes.indiatimes.com/news/politics-and-nation/indian-youth-is-a-strange-mix-of-conservative-and-liberal-attitudes/articleshow/58319013.cms" target="_blank">youth of India</a></em> conducted in 2016 found that 84 per cent of married couples had an arranged marriage.</p> <p>The tradition – which has a stigma attached to it – has evolved over the past 50 years, according to Nonie Tuxen, a PhD student and resident of Mumbai.</p> <p>“If you speak to a lot of people here in India over the age of, say, 75, many of them did not see or speak to their spouse prior to their wedding,” she said.</p> <p>“Whereas nowadays, young people both here in India, and in the diaspora, have a great deal of say in who they marry.</p> <p>“There’s a lot of confusion about whether an arranged marriage is forced in some way – it never is, forced marriage is an entirely separate issue.</p> <p>“The decision ultimately lies with them … it doesn’t lie with their families.”</p> <p>Which is why, when Meera believed the time was right, she asked her parents to help her find a husband.</p> <p>Meera’s close friend, Hemangini Patel, says that the lines between “love marriages” and arranged marriages are blurring.</p> <p>“I just thought that your parents introduced you to someone and you had to get married in, like, a month,” she says.</p> <p>But according to Hemangini, Meera felt overwhelmed by the world of dating once she had reached her 20s, which is when marriage becomes a commonly spoken about topic amongst the Indian community.</p> <p>“I was doing a Master’s degree which was a two-year course … so [I had] no time to think about anything except for work and studying” says Meera.</p> <p>“I would have no idea where to go and look for a person.</p> <p>“So, when my parents approached me with the idea [of arranged marriage] … I’m like, ‘Yes! You do all the work for me and I’m happy with whatever!'”</p> <p>But Meera was never dreaming about Prince Charming, and her list of expectations in her potential partner had nothing to do with outward appearance, but rather she was focused more on his culture and beliefs.</p> <p>Meera’s Prince had to be Hindu and belong to the BAPS Swaminarayan faith.</p> <p>“I’m very religious, so I wanted someone with the same religious background as me, to make it easier for us to understand each other,” she said.</p> <p>“We have some dietary requirements – we don’t eat onion and garlic, and we’re very strict vegetarians, as well, so I wanted someone who can understand that.”</p> <p>Language was also an important factor that had to be considered. The BAPS Swaminarayan faith, which was established in the east-Indian state of Gujrat, has a majority of Gujarati speakers.</p> <p>“I wanted someone who could not only communicate with my parents but everyone else in my family,” says Meera.</p> <p>After Meera approached her parents about the possibility of an arranged marriage, they got in touch with Gujarati families across the world.</p> <p>While they went through many potential suitors, it was ultimately a New Zealand man, Rushi, who stole Meera’s heart.</p> <p>“My dad contacted his dad, and after that we exchanged numbers,” she said.</p> <p>After getting to know each other through text and phone calls, Meera and Rushi flew to one another to meet each other’s families.</p> <p>That was two years ago. Now, as Meera and Rushi get ready to marry each other in January, they know each other better than they know themselves.</p> <p>“It’s going to be a big wedding from what I hear because it’s going to be planned by parents fully,” she says.</p> <p>“As long as they’re happy, I’m happy.”</p>

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Princess Diana’s sister dated Prince Charles first – but she refused to marry him

<p>Princess Diana was the most famous person of her time, but she wasn’t the only Spencer sister to steal Prince Charles' heart. According to British newspaper,<em> <a rel="noopener" href="https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/princess-dianas-sister-dated-prince-13065771" target="_blank">The Mirror</a></em>, the heir to the British throne dated Lady Sarah Spencer in the hopes to find a woman who would birth and raise his future children.</p> <p>With Charles dating Camilla Shand (now his wife Duchess Camilla) in the early '70s, after it came to an end he was faced with the pressure of finding an appropriate wife who could take on the royal duties. It is said he dated more than 20 women before he found Princess Diana, and her sister was amongst that number.</p> <p>While the relationship did not last long, <em>The Mirror</em> reports that Charles and Lady Sarah may have shared a long-term commitment if it wasn’t for an interview she gave to journalist James Whitaker.</p> <p>Whitaker had met Lady Sarah and Charles in Switzerland during the ‘70s while at a ski resort.</p> <p>Looking back, Whitaker wrote: “My mission improbable as a young journalist was to discover who Charles would marry and be first with the news.” </p> <p>While Lady Spencer gave him the information he was looking for, it eventually ended her relationship with Prince Charles.</p> <p>“Sarah was disarmingly frank about her boyfriend and declared she would not marry Charles “if he were the dustman or the King of England,” he said.</p> <p>Immediately after Whitaker shared the information with Charles, he allegedly called Lady Spencer and said to her, “You have just done something incredibly stupid.”</p> <p><img style="width: 0px; height: 0px;" src="/umbraco/nothing.jpg" alt="" data-udi="umb://media/82d6c3824f494061be90f85fb766bb6b" /><img style="width: 500px; height: 281.25px;" src="/media/7820223/prince-charles-and-camilla.jpg" alt="" data-udi="umb://media/82d6c3824f494061be90f85fb766bb6b" /></p> <p>Later, Charles would propose to Diana, but their infamous marriage was subject to public scrutiny and was filled with tension because Charles was in love with his now wife, Camilla Parker-Bowles. According to <em>The Mirror</em>, Charles and Camilla had a year-long relationship before he met Sarah Spencer.</p> <p>Despite their history, it is said that Lady Sarah Spencer was the one who introduced Diana and Charles and she approved of their relationship from the beginning.</p> <p>“I introduced them, I’m cupid,” she told the <a rel="noopener" href="https://www.theguardian.com/uk/1981/feb/25/monarchy.alanrusbridger" target="_blank"><em>Guardian</em></a>.</p> <p>Lady Sarah Spencer married and went on to give birth to three children, Emily, George and Celia, <em>The Mirror</em> reports. Despite the circumstances, she still maintains a great relationship with her nephews Prince William and Prince Harry and attended Harry’s wedding to Meghan in May. </p>

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Inside Meghan’s close relationships with the Queen and Kate

<p>She officially became a royal after her wedding to Prince Harry on May 19, and from the outside it seems the Duchess of Sussex has quickly adjusted to her new role.</p> <p>There’s no doubt her husband Prince Harry has been helping her along the way, but Meghan can also rely on the assistance of two very senior royals: The Queen and Kate, the Duchess of Cambridge.</p> <p><img style="display: block; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" src="https://imagesvc.timeincapp.com/v3/mm/image?url=https%3A%2F%2Fpeopledotcom.files.wordpress.com%2F2018%2F06%2Fmarkle-queen-19-2000.jpg&amp;w=1100&amp;q=85" alt="Meghan Markle and Queen Elizabeth" title="Meghan Markle and Queen Elizabeth" /></p> <p>Meghan has already had high-profile outings with both Her Majesty and Kate – and their relationships has been strengthening behind-the-scenes, too.</p> <p>“What’s characterised these months are the two great relationships that she has struck up with the Queen and with Catherine,” Robert Lacey, historical consultant for <em>The Crown</em>, tells PEOPLE. “They seem to be her closest friends and partners in the official set-up.”</p> <p>In fact, Meghan became a fast favourite with the Queen due to her connection with the Queen’s beloved corgis.</p> <p>“Harry gave the clue to it when in the [engagement] interview he talked about how well the corgis had taken to her instantly. That seems to be a metaphor for the Queen and everybody else has taken their cue from that,” Lacey adds.</p> <p>The support Meghan receives from her sister-in-law and the monarch looks to be more important than ever as Meghan’s father, Thomas Markle, and her half-sister, Samantha Markle, continue to speak out against the royal family.</p> <p><img style="display: block; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" src="https://imagesvc.timeincapp.com/v3/mm/image?url=https%3A%2F%2Fpeopledotcom.files.wordpress.com%2F2018%2F07%2Fmeghan-markle1.jpg&amp;w=1100&amp;q=85" alt="Queen Elizabeth, Meghan Markle and Prince Harry" title="Queen Elizabeth, Meghan Markle and Prince Harry" /></p> <p>In a recent interview with <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><em><a href="http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6002773/Thomas-Markle-says-Meghan-cut-life.html">The Mail on Sunday</a></em></strong></span>, Thomas called his daughter “cold” and said he has “no way of contacting my daughter” because “she’s cut me off completely.”</p> <p>“She’d be nothing without me. I made her the Duchess she is today,” he said, adding that “it would be easier for Meghan if I died” because “everybody would be filled with sympathy with her.”</p> <p>Meghan had not publicly responded, taking a page out of the royal rulebook to act with grace and rise above the gossip.</p>

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Fergie and Prince Andrew still live together despite divorcing 22 years ago

<p>Despite divorcing 22 years ago in 1996, Prince Andrew and Sarah Ferguson still live with each other.</p> <p>The former royal couple, who share daughters Princess Beatrice and Princess Eugenie, both live at Royal Lodge Windsor.</p> <p>Prince Andrew officially moved in to the residence in 2004 following the 2002 death of the Queen Mother, who lived there for 70 years.</p> <p>Reportedly, Fergie and her two daughters joined the Duke of York in 2008 and have remained there ever since.</p> <p>“Sarah Ferguson still rules the roost at the Duke’s home — even though they’re divorced,” a royal source previously told <a href="https://www.thesun.co.uk/"><strong><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em style="font-weight: inherit;">The Sun</em></span></strong></a>.</p> <p>The 58-year-old Duchess of York spoke of her living arrangement with her ex-husband in an interview on KIIS FM.</p> <p>“I’m in and out all the time and he’s in and out all the time,” she said.</p> <p>“He is the finest man in my life – he is a nugget of goodness. I threw myself into a love affair for life.”</p> <p>In an interview with <em style="font-weight: inherit;">Hello!</em> she also revealed that they “support each other emotionally” and “health wide”.</p> <p>“At least every two weeks we sit down and communicate, the four of us,” she said.</p> <p>It is believed the duo first met at the Guards Polo Club when they were both kids.</p> <p>They were reintroduced by Princess Diana in 1985 as Fergie’s dad was Prince Charles’ polo manager.</p> <p>After a year of dating, Buckingham Palace announced that the couple, both 26 at the time, were engaged.</p> <p>Prince Andrew and Fergie married on July 23 in 1986, with guests including the royal family, US First Lady Nancy Regan and UK Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher.</p> <p>However, in 1992 Buckingham Palace released a statement announcing that the couple were splitting.</p> <p>“In view of the media speculation which the Queen finds especially undesirable during the general election campaign, Her Majesty is issuing the following statement,” the statement read.</p> <p>“Last week, lawyers acting for the Duchess of York initiated discussions about a formal separation for the Duke and Duchess.</p> <p>“These discussions are not yet completed and nothing will be said until they are.”</p> <p>The scandal that broke the royal’s relationship was a paparazzi photo of Fergie with her toes in the mouth of Texan financial advisor John Bryan, while lounging in the sun in a bikini.</p> <p>After their separation, Fergie revealed that she was heavily in debt and without Andrew’s generosity, she would’ve been “homeless”.</p> <p>However, despite the scandals the pair have faced, they stayed on amicable terms and have been pictured together throughout the years for various family events.</p> <p>Andrew and Fergie have even been asked if they are thinking of remarrying, due to the close nature of their relationship and the fact they still live together.</p> <p>It is expected the pair will sit next to each other during the wedding of their daughter Eugenie to Jack Brooksbank on October 12. </p>

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8 ways to test your stress mindset

<p><strong><em>Susan Krauss Whitbourne is a professor of Psychology and Brain Sciences at the University of Massachusetts Amherst. She writes the Fulfilment at Any Age blog for Psychology Today.</em></strong></p> <p>You’ve got a hugely pressured day ahead of you, with errands you’ve absolutely got to run along with getting ready for your partner’s upcoming birthday party. All of this has to happen on top of the actual work you need to do at your job. Before leaving the house, you decide to check your email in case your boss has tried to get a hold of you. As you start to log in, the Internet goes down. This is going to delay you by at least half an hour while you try to figure out the cause of the snafu.</p> <p>In the midst of this turmoil, you might ask yourself how you’re feeling. Is it possible that you actually <em>enjoy</em> all of this <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/basics/stress">stress</a></strong></span>? Might you really thrive on pressure? It’s automatically assumed that the kind of hassles involved in these daily pressures and mishaps are harmful and cause wear and tear on your mind and body. However, for some people, stress is the fuel that keeps them going, and without it, they are miserable.</p> <p>The concept of a “stress mindset” helps to explain these alternative ways of approaching life’s pressures. Tel Aviv University’s Nili Ben-Avi and colleagues (2018) recently investigated the stress mindset, which they define as “the extent to which individuals hold the mindset that stress has enhancing versus debilitating consequences." Since it’s impossible to avoid stress, it would seem more adaptive to take the stress-as-enhancing mindset, unless of course your life is extremely boring and uneventful. It seems safe to assume that most people are in fact under more rather than less pressure, and therefore the stress-as-enhancing mindset would seem to be the better approach if your goal is to be able to overcome the left curves that life can send your way.</p> <p>The Israeli researchers took the unique approach of asking people not to rate their own stress mindset and then observe their levels of negative outcomes, but to use ratings of stress mindset as predictors of outcomes among other individuals. The idea behind the study was that your stress mindset will affect how much strain and unhappiness someone else is experiencing. Consider, for example, whether you think stress is debilitating. You would then think your partner shares your views about stress and would, therefore, be as unhappy as you would be under that same stress level.</p> <p>To measure your own stress mindset, rate yourself from 1 (strongly disagree) to 7 (strongly agree) on the following eight stress mindset items:</p> <ol> <li>The effects of stress are negative and should be avoided.</li> <li>Experiencing stress facilitates my learning and growth.</li> <li>Experiencing stress depletes my <span><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a rel="noopener" href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/basics/health" target="_blank">health</a></strong></span> </span>and vitality.</li> <li>Experiencing stress enhances my performance and <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/basics/productivity">productivity</a></strong></span>.</li> <li>Experiencing stress inhibits my learning and growth.</li> <li>Experiencing stress improves my health and vitality.</li> <li>Experiencing stress debilitates my performance and productivity.</li> <li>The effects of stress are positive and should be utilized.</li> </ol> <ul> <li><em>A stress-enhancing mindset is indicated by your agreement with items 2, 4, 6, and 8.</em></li> <li><em>If you agree with items 1,3,5, and 7, you hold a stress-debilitating mindset.</em></li> </ul> <p>The average participant in the Ben-Avi et al. study received an average at about the middle of the 7-item scale (3.22 per item), and most people scored just between about 2 and 4. If you have a stress-enhancing mindset, you should, therefore, score at 4 or above per item on the even-numbered items, and 2 or below on the odd-numbered items.  </p> <p>Participants also rated their levels of <strong><u><a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/therapy-types/positive-psychology">optimism</a></u></strong> and their mood. To measure optimism, the Tel Aviv University researchers used a standard optimism scale containing the following items:</p> <ol> <li>In uncertain times, I usually expect the best.</li> <li>I'm always <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/basics/optimism">optimistic</a></strong></span><strong> </strong>about my future.</li> <li>Overall, I expect more good things to happen to me than bad.</li> </ol> <p>The mood scale simply asked participants to rate their levels of <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/basics/happiness">happiness</a></strong></span> on a straightforward 9-point rating scale.</p> <p>Turning now to the outcome of having a stress-enhancing mindset, the findings clearly support the idea that your life will be better if you can put a positive spin on having a life that’s full of pressure. Although mood wasn’t related to stress mindset, optimism levels did show a positive correlation, with people who have more of a “can-do” spirit enjoying a life full of constant demands.</p> <p>As it turns out, your stress mindset levels also predict the way you judge other people. The Israeli <strong><u><a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/basics/teamwork">team</a></u></strong> asked participants to judge the levels of stress experienced by a male employee (“Ben”) described in a scenario as experiencing a great deal of work-related stress, such as being in a managerial position, working long hours, and having to multi-task. Participants did perceive this male employee as being highly stressed, but people who held a stress-as-enhancing mindset saw him as having a lower workload than did people who believed that stress is debilitating. Furthermore, the more participants believed that stress is enhancing, the lower they rated Ben on the <strong><u><a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/basics/burnout">burnout</a></u></strong> scale.</p> <p>Thus, having a stress-as-enhancing mindset affects the amount of stress you perceive other people to have. If you think stress is enhancing, you will project this attitude onto the way you perceive other people. These findings suggest that, unfortunately, if you and your partner have a stress-mindset mismatch, you’ll be less <strong><u><a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/basics/empathy">understanding</a></u></strong> toward your partner.</p> <p>Turning then to the ways that you can use stress to your advantage, look again at those 8 items on the stress mindset scale. If you’ve scored on the “agree” side of those odd-numbered items, maybe it’s time to see where your ideas about stress come from in the first place. Ben-Avi and her collaborators note that the mass media tends to emphasize the harmful and debilitative effects of stress over and beyond any of its benefits. It is true that unabated chronic stress has a negative impact on health and can even shorten your life; however, because stress is also a subjective state, if you could somehow be convinced to turn around your views of stress, you might not be quite so damaged by its presence in your life. People can, the Israeli researchers note, be helped to change their mindset, and in turn, their health and work performance can benefit.</p> <p>To sum up, assuming that all stress is bad can create its own self-fulfilling prophecy. Instead, see stress as the product of your own perceptions, and you may well be on your way to a more positive outlook on life.</p> <p><em>Written by Susan Krauss Whitbourne. Republished with permission of <a rel="noopener" href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us" target="_blank"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong>Psychology Today</strong></span></a>. </em></p>

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Lost wedding ring returned after more than a decade

<p>One Queensland woman has been reunited with her wedding ring more than one decade after she first lost it.</p> <p>Dionne Connolly lost her wedding ring while staying at Mt Isa Base Hospital on November 15, 2006.</p> <p>While all wedding rings are special, this ring was particularly significant as it had first belonged to her mother and had the names of her deceased parents engraved inside.</p> <p>Dionne’s parents, Gloria Connolly and Max Turner, tied the knot in 1965.</p> <p>Gloria sadly passed away on June 12, 1998, and her husband died exactly four years later on June 12, 2002.</p> <p>Gloria’s gold wedding ring was then handed down to Dionne’s nephew Joel, who was born on June 12.</p> <p>When Dionne married her husband Adrian in 2004, Joel gifted his aunty the ring and she decided to get both her parents' names engraved inside.</p> <p>The precious possession went missing two years later when Dionne was in hospital, about to give birth.</p> <p>Her hands were swollen so she removed the ring from her finger and gave it to her mother-in-law, who placed it on the bedside table in Dionne’s hospital room.</p> <p>However, the next morning there was no trace of the ring.</p> <p>Dionne had hoped that it might be easy to track down because her parents’ names were engraved inside, but she had no luck locating it.</p> <p>Around the same time, a woman named Marie-Gaye who was also living in Mt Isa, discovered a gold ring in a bin she was emptying while working at Best &amp; Less.</p> <p>Police were notified and posters were left in the windows of the store, but the message didn’t make its way to Dionne.</p> <p>In 2013, Marie-Gaye’s daughter suggested that they try to locate the owner by posting a message on Facebook.</p> <p>“We had no joy but a week ago my daughter asked again if anyone had claimed it and when I said no she said we should try again,” Marie-Gaye told The North West Star.</p> <p>“I thought, what harm would it do?”</p> <p>Finally, five years after the first Facebook post was written, one of Dionne’s family members saw the status, which had been shared more than 800 times.</p> <p>Dionne was reunited with her wedding ring a decade after it went missing.</p> <p>“It’s absolutely overwhelming to have such a priceless piece of family history returned after all these years,” Dionne Connolly wrote on her Facebook page, sharing a picture of the engraved ring.</p> <p>“I am so very grateful and am feeling blessed.”</p> <p>What is the most peculiar way you've located something that was missing? Let us know in the comments below. </p>

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Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz’s daughter says her parents’ divorce was “horrible”

<p>The famous TV couple split in 1960 and now – almost 60 years later – their daughter, Lucie Arnaz, has opened up about her parents’ tumultuous marriage and “horrible” divorce.</p> <p>In a new interview with <em><a href="https://www.closerweekly.com/posts/lucille-ball-desi-arnaz-divorce-163949">Closer Weekly</a></em> magazine in the US, Lucie admitted, “They were fighting all the time when we were growing up. There was a lot of anger and screaming.”</p> <p>Now 67 years old, Lucie also recalled, “Their divorce was horrible. And then there was the alcoholism.”</p> <p>She added about her late parents’ contentious marriage, “I had preferred those things had never been there. We didn’t have any abuse, but we did go through some pretty hard stuff and that’s why my parents didn’t stay together.”</p> <p>Ball and Arnaz met on the set of <em>Too Many Girls</em> 20 years earlier in 1940.</p> <p>The red-headed glamour, who was 28 years old, and the charismatic Cuban-born nightclub bandleader, who was 23, married just six months later.</p> <p>While Ball was busy working in Hollywood, Arnaz toured America with his rumba band – but their marriage began to suffer from the strain of constant separation.</p> <p>When CBS launched a TV version of its radio show called <em>My Favourite Husband</em>, Ball insisted that her real-life husband be cast to play her on-screen spouse. And the rest is history.</p> <p><em>I Love Lucy</em> had a six-year run and became the most successful comedy series on television – with 40 million viewers watching each week – and earning the couple’s production company, Desilu, millions of dollars.</p> <p>Their daughter Lucie, who has also written a book called <em>I Love Lucy</em>, wrote in the introduction, “All their hopes, plans and dreams for a happy future were wrapped up in that TV sitcom.” </p> <p>Sadly, off-screen, the couple’s marriage was plagued with alcoholism and infidelity.</p> <p>During divorce proceedings, Ball admitted in court, “It got so bad that I thought it would be better for us not to be together.”</p> <p> </p>

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Can you spot what’s wrong with this wedding photo?

<p style="margin-top: 0cm; background: white; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; font-family: 'Helvetica',sans-serif; color: black;">Weddings can trigger all sorts of emotions among family and friends, but one bridesmaid had a very unusual response after her brother said “I do” to his bride.</span></p> <p style="margin-top: 0cm; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; orphans: 2; text-align: start; widows: 2; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-color: initial; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; font-family: 'Helvetica',sans-serif; color: black;">The groom shared a beautiful snap from his special day on Twitter, however, there was one thing that made the photo very unusual.</span></p> <p style="margin-top: 0cm; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; orphans: 2; text-align: start; widows: 2; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-color: initial; word-spacing: 0px;"> </p> <blockquote class="twitter-tweet" data-lang="en"> <p dir="ltr">Three years ago, I married the love of my life and my sister fell over <a href="https://t.co/9jaSazmiir">pic.twitter.com/9jaSazmiir</a></p> — Kevin Kennedy Ryan II🌹 (@K_47) <a href="https://twitter.com/K_47/status/1022113758083260422?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 25, 2018</a></blockquote> <p style="margin-top: 0cm; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; orphans: 2; text-align: start; widows: 2; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-color: initial; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; font-family: 'Helvetica',sans-serif; color: black;">The photo shows the newlyweds leaning in for their kiss as husband and wife while one of the bridesmaids lay face-down on the floor at the couple’s feet.</span></p> <p style="margin-top: 0cm; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; orphans: 2; text-align: start; widows: 2; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-color: initial; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; font-family: 'Helvetica',sans-serif; color: black;">Joking about the unique moment, the groom wrote on Twitter: “When you are marrying the love of your life and your sister is literally on the floor.”</span></p> <p style="margin-top: 0cm; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; orphans: 2; text-align: start; widows: 2; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-color: initial; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; font-family: 'Helvetica',sans-serif; color: black;">After posting the photo, the groom received many questions about what was happening when the moment was captured.</span></p> <p style="margin-top: 0cm; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; orphans: 2; text-align: start; widows: 2; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-color: initial; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; font-family: 'Helvetica',sans-serif; color: black;">“What happened? Was it planned? Did she just hit the deck without warning? Why isn't the vicar looking round? Why does the other bridesmaid have extra flowers? Who took this beauty?” one viewer wrote.</span></p> <p style="margin-top: 0cm; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; orphans: 2; text-align: start; widows: 2; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-color: initial; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; font-family: 'Helvetica',sans-serif; color: black;">It has since been revealed that the bridesmaid fainted at the exact moment the officiator announced: “You may now kiss the bride”.</span></p> <p style="margin-top: 0cm; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; orphans: 2; text-align: start; widows: 2; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-color: initial; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; font-family: 'Helvetica',sans-serif; color: black;">While it seems that everyone is oblivious to her fall, the groom reassured viewers that “a few seconds later” they all rushed to assist her.</span></p> <p style="margin-top: 0cm; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; orphans: 2; text-align: start; widows: 2; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-color: initial; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; font-family: 'Helvetica',sans-serif; color: black;">The groom confirmed that his sister was fine after being helped up and sat down for the remainder of the ceremony.</span></p> <p style="margin-top: 0cm; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; orphans: 2; text-align: start; widows: 2; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-color: initial; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; font-family: 'Helvetica',sans-serif; color: black;">Once his sister was well, the happy couple gave their interrupted kiss another go.</span></p> <p style="margin-top: 0cm; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; orphans: 2; text-align: start; widows: 2; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-color: initial; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; font-family: 'Helvetica',sans-serif; color: black;">“We restarted the first kiss once my sister was ok and sitting down,” he wrote.</span></p> <p style="margin-top: 0cm; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; orphans: 2; text-align: start; widows: 2; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-color: initial; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; font-family: 'Helvetica',sans-serif; color: black;">Many found the unusual photo very amusing.</span></p> <p style="margin-top: 0cm; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; orphans: 2; text-align: start; widows: 2; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-color: initial; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; font-family: 'Helvetica',sans-serif; color: black;">“I think it's impressive that she managed to keep one toe in one shoe!!” one user joked. “I really hope you have this framed! This is the best wedding picture I’ve ever seen!” said another.</span></p>

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Proud wife Meghan gives Prince Harry special prize after charity win

<p style="margin-top: 0cm; background: white; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; font-family: 'Helvetica',sans-serif; color: black;">The royal couple are known for breaking royal protocol to show public displays of affection and now, the Duchess of Sussex has given a special reward to Prince Harry at a charity polo match.</span></p> <p style="margin-top: 0cm; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; orphans: 2; text-align: start; widows: 2; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-color: initial; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; font-family: 'Helvetica',sans-serif; color: black;">Meghan was eager to congratulate her husband with a kiss after he won a polo match with his St Regis team 5-4 over Royal Salute, with the Prince scoring two goals at the Sentebale Polo Cup.</span></p> <p style="margin-top: 0cm; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; orphans: 2; text-align: start; widows: 2; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-color: initial; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; font-family: 'Helvetica',sans-serif; color: black;">The game was held to raise money for Harry’s charity Sentebale which supports young people with HIV and Aids in Lesotho.</span></p> <p style="margin-top: 0cm; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; orphans: 2; text-align: center; widows: 2; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-color: initial; word-spacing: 0px;"><img style="width: 0px; height: 0px;" src="/media/7819949/2.jpg?width=0&amp;height=0" alt="" data-udi="umb://media/f3ca418d4cc5493bb8870850d7deed85" /><img style="width: 500px; height: 295.3125px;" src="/media/7819950/intext.jpg?width=500&amp;height=295.3125" alt="" data-udi="umb://media/9236d85e2fa14d039670779d123177cc" /></p> <p style="margin-top: 0cm; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; orphans: 2; text-align: start; widows: 2; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-color: initial; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; font-family: 'Helvetica',sans-serif; color: black;">The 36-year-old Duchess stunned at the charity game in a AU$4,188 navy dress by Carolina Herrera.</span></p> <p style="margin-top: 0cm; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; orphans: 2; text-align: start; widows: 2; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-color: initial; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; font-family: 'Helvetica',sans-serif; color: black;">As the royal newlyweds walked away from the prize presentation, Meghan could be seen affectionately rubbing Harry’s back as they held hands.</span></p> <p style="margin-top: 0cm; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; orphans: 2; text-align: start; widows: 2; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-color: initial; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; font-family: 'Helvetica',sans-serif; color: black;">After the game, Harry’s close friend and fellow player, Nacho Figueras, praised Meghan, saying: “The Duchess is lovely and wonderful.”</span></p> <p style="margin-top: 0cm; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; orphans: 2; text-align: start; widows: 2; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-color: initial; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; font-family: 'Helvetica',sans-serif; color: black;">“I’m very happy for Harry. They are both lucky to have found each each other and I am very excited about this new chapter in his life.”</span></p> <p style="margin-top: 0cm; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; orphans: 2; text-align: start; widows: 2; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-color: initial; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; font-family: 'Helvetica',sans-serif; color: black;">Figueras said that Meghan was also excited to have the honour of presenting the prize at the polo match — a duty that has previously been carried out by other royal ladies, including Princess Diana. </span></p> <blockquote style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/BlsgjYBBM4M/" data-instgrm-version="9"> <div style="padding: 8px;"> <div style="background: #F8F8F8; line-height: 0; margin-top: 40px; padding: 61.99074074074075% 0; text-align: center; width: 100%;"> <div style="background: url(data:image/png; base64,ivborw0kggoaaaansuheugaaacwaaaascamaaaapwqozaaaabgdbtueaalgpc/xhbqaaaafzukdcak7ohokaaaamuexurczmzpf399fx1+bm5mzy9amaaadisurbvdjlvzxbesmgces5/p8/t9furvcrmu73jwlzosgsiizurcjo/ad+eqjjb4hv8bft+idpqocx1wjosbfhh2xssxeiyn3uli/6mnree07uiwjev8ueowds88ly97kqytlijkktuybbruayvh5wohixmpi5we58ek028czwyuqdlkpg1bkb4nnm+veanfhqn1k4+gpt6ugqcvu2h2ovuif/gwufyy8owepdyzsa3avcqpvovvzzz2vtnn2wu8qzvjddeto90gsy9mvlqtgysy231mxry6i2ggqjrty0l8fxcxfcbbhwrsyyaaaaaelftksuqmcc); display: block; height: 44px; margin: 0 auto -44px; position: relative; top: -22px; width: 44px;"></div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BlsgjYBBM4M/" target="_blank">A post shared by Sentebale (@sentebale)</a> on Jul 26, 2018 at 5:48am PDT</p> </div> </blockquote> <p style="margin-top: 0cm; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; orphans: 2; text-align: start; widows: 2; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-color: initial; word-spacing: 0px;"> </p> <p style="margin-top: 0cm; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; orphans: 2; text-align: start; widows: 2; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-color: initial; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; font-family: 'Helvetica',sans-serif; color: black;">“She watched the game with my wife which was wonderful because she could learn more about the game,” he explained.</span></p> <p style="margin-top: 0cm; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; orphans: 2; text-align: start; widows: 2; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-color: initial; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; font-family: 'Helvetica',sans-serif; color: black;">“It was great that I got to play with Harry because we normally play against each other. Harry played great. They are very, very happy together.”</span></p> <p style="margin-top: 0cm; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; orphans: 2; text-align: start; widows: 2; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-color: initial; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; font-family: 'Helvetica',sans-serif; color: black;">Harry created the charity after travelling to Lesotho for his gap year with Prince Seeiso, the younger brother of King Letsie III.</span></p> <p style="margin-top: 0cm; background: white; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; orphans: 2; text-align: start; widows: 2; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-color: initial; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; font-family: 'Helvetica',sans-serif; color: black;">The event is held annually at the Royal County of Berkshire Polo Club. </span></p>

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Waleed Aly’s wife Susan Carland reveals the secret to their marriage bliss

<p>The wife of Waleed Aly and academic, Susan Carland, has revealed the secret to 16 years of marriage bliss with her husband.</p> <p>On Monday, Susan took to Instagram to humorously confess the secret behind the success of their relationship.</p> <p>“The secret to being married more than 16 years? If my husband ever tries to look better than me in a photo, I shut that thing down,” she joked.</p> <p>Susan posted two photos with Waleed, one where they are happily smiling for the shot and one where her hand is blocking his face.</p> <p style="text-align: center;"><img style="width: 500px; height:469.74789915966386px;" src="/media/7819904/1.jpg?width=500&amp;height=469.74789915966386" alt="" data-udi="umb://media/9cdcff6fbd254d6eb72d2796eac3587f" /></p> <p>Susan appears to be amused by her attempts to block Waleed’s face from the camera.</p> <p style="text-align: center;"><img style="width: 0px; height:0px;" src="/nothing.jpg" alt="" data-udi="umb://media/9f6e78bfbd8a439d9cc510de9b50f6cd" /><img style="width: 500px; height:491.45299145299145px;" src="/media/7819906/2.jpg?width=500&amp;height=491.45299145299145" alt="" data-udi="umb://media/aa0b915731ef48bb99835d36cdb395b1" /></p> <p>In an interview with <a href="https://www.nowtolove.com.au/tvweek"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em><strong>TV Week</strong></em></span></a>, Susan revealed that she initially rejected Waleed when he asked her out.</p> <p>“He rang me up and said, ‘Look, I like you, and would really like to pursue this’,” she recalled, before revealing her harsh reply: “'I wouldn't marry you if were the last person on earth.”</p> <p>A year later, her feelings changed for Waleed and she approached him with an apology and asked for a date.</p> <p>Susan and Waleed tied the knot in 2002 on the lawns of Melbourne Zoo, after first meeting at the age of 16.</p> <p>The pair wed when Susan was 23 and she previously said that despite being “ridiculously young”, the pair’s relationship has only strengthened over the years.</p> <p>“I guess I assumed you love each other when you get married and then as you get old you kind of tolerate each other, but it's been the opposite,” she told <a href="https://www.elle.com.au/"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em><strong>Elle</strong></em></span></a>.</p> <p>"It's moved from love to adoration and that's been a beautiful surprise.”</p> <p>The couple have two children together, daughter Aisha, 14, and son Zayd, 10. </p>

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Terri reveals Steve Irwin’s eerie premonition before death

<p>Terri Irwin has revealed she's never overcome her grief of losing 'soulmate' Steve Irwin, after his shock death in September 2006.<br /><br />In the first episode of the new season of ABC's <em>Anh's Brush With Fame</em>, the 53-year-old American-Australian burst into tears as she recalled the heartbreaking moment she found out that he had died.<br /><br />The mother-of-two told host Anh Do she'll never move on from Steve and find another partner, saying: “I'm just lonely for Steve.”<br /><br />“I always felt with Steve, if I hadn't married Steve I wouldn't have gotten married,” Terri said.<br /><br />The pair tied the knot in the US in June 1992, four months after getting engaged.<br /><br />She said when she first met Steve she wasn't even looking for love, but they had an instant connection.<br /><br />“I wasn't even dating, I wasn't even looking. I was 27 years old and figured my life was going to be my work and met Steve and fell instantly in love,” she recalled. <br /><br />Terri described Steve as her ‘soulmate' and said to this day, she isn't interested in meeting anyone new.<br /><br />“I feel that we had that soulmate thing. And in the 10 years since, I haven't dated or even thought about it. Because I'm not afraid to be on my own,” she said.<br /><br />“It's just really hard not having Steve. I'm just lonely for Steve if that makes sense.”<br /><br />Terri also revealed how her late husband may have predicted his life was about to be 'cut short' in the months and weeks leading up to his shock death.<br /><br />“You know he never thought he would have a long life. He just always kind of had this sense that his life would be cut short,” she told Anh.<br /><br />“I remember him saying to me, 'I don’t think I am going to film anymore, I think I am just going to spend time with my kids’,” she said.</p> <p style="text-align: center;">  <br /><iframe src="https://www.facebook.com/plugins/video.php?href=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2FABCTV%2Fvideos%2F10160448114540543%2F&amp;show_text=1&amp;width=476" width="476" height="587" style="border: none; overflow: hidden;" scrolling="no" frameborder="0" allowtransparency="true" allow="encrypted-media" allowfullscreen="true"></iframe></p> <p>Although it’s been 11 years since Steve was killed by a stingray in a freak accident, Terri spoke about how she’s still grieving.<br /><br />“Grief hits you at the most bizarre times. So I might be talking to biology students and it will remind me of Steve and I will burst into tears.”<br /><br />She added: “You don't ever get over grief. It changes, but you never wake up one morning and go, 'Oh, I'm done with that.'<br /><br />“That was the challenge in the journey after Steve died.”<br /><br />Their children Bindi was eight at the time of her father's death, while Robert was just two years old. <br /><br />Terri spoke about the last time she and the kids saw Steve, recalling it was when he was waving goodbye to them as they caught the plane to Tasmania.<br /><br />“I felt so bad for Robert because he was too little,” Terri said. <br /><br />“He was in his seat belt and fun police [referring to herself] didn't take the seat belt off so he could see his dad and wave goodbye. And that was the last time we saw him,” she said.  <br /><br />Terri said she arrived in Tasmania and was told to call a zoo manager, who told her about Steve's death.<br /><br />“I just remember this<span class="CmCaReT" style="display: none;">�</span> incredible sense of responsibility,” Terri said.<br /><br />“This feeling of overwhelming grief but, it was like, ‘What do I do next?’ So I kind of collected my thoughts and then I had to go out to the car and tell Bindi and Robert, which was really hard.”<br /><br />Terri cried as she remembered how she chose to drive herself and the children to the plane.  <br /><br />She said: “I drove myself, got in the plane and went home. But the thing I didn't expect or understand was just how it affected everyone.<br /><br />“So we got back and it was dark, and we drive into the zoo and there's all this media out front of the zoo.<br /><br />“And I thought, ‘You've done the story. It has been on the five o'clock news. Why are you still here?’ But then no one would have been more surprised than Steve at that, just outpouring of grief and love,” Terri said.  </p>

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The truth about Michael J. Fox and Tracy Pollan's inspiring 30-year love story

<p>They fittingly met on the ‘80s hit show<span> </span><em>Family Ties</em>, but it wasn’t love at first sight for Michael J. Fox and Tracy Pollan. In fact, both were seeing other people at the time and it would be several years before the pair coupled up to become one of Hollywood’s most enduring relationships.</p> <p>Although their characters Alex P. Keaton and Ellen Reed were loved up on<span> </span><em>Family Ties</em>, in real life Pollan was in a serious long-term relationship with Kevin Bacon and Fox was dating<span> </span><em>Facts of Life</em><span> </span>actress Nancy McKeon.</p> <p>"I always thought [Tracy] was cool," Fox told People years later, "but it was like a couple of married people who worked together and liked each other."</p> <p><img style="display: block; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" src="https://hips.hearstapps.com/clv.h-cdn.co/assets/17/39/768x980/gallery-1506544204-gettyimages-140631084.jpg?resize=480:*" alt="" width="402" height="512" /></p> <p>It wasn’t until 1987 when the Pollen and Fox worked together in a movie called<span> </span><em>Bright Lights, Big City</em><span> </span>that a romance began to blossom.</p> <p>Pollan told Winfrey in 2002: "From the beginning, I loved his sense of humour and that brain of his. He's so smart."</p> <p>Fox <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a rel="noopener" href="https://people.com/archive/cover-story-getting-back-to-his-future-vol-32-no-23/" target="_blank">told People in 1989</a></strong></span><span> </span>of hearing that Pollen and Bacon had split: "It sounds really horrible, but it was one of those things. Someone goes, 'Did you hear that so-and-so aren't together anymore?' and you go, 'Hmm, that's too bad. Where's the phone?'"</p> <p>Seven months after they started dating, he proposed on December 26, 1987.</p> <p>"I wasn't really worried that she would say no," he recalled. "The toughest part was trying to figure out when to get married, and then to figure out how nobody else could know about it."</p> <p><img style="display: block; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" src="https://hips.hearstapps.com/clv.h-cdn.co/assets/17/39/768x995/gallery-1506542281-gettyimages-529485432.jpg?resize=480:*" alt="" width="400" height="518" /></p> <p>The couple tied the knot in an outdoor ceremony at Vermont's West Mountain Inn on July 16, 1988. Fox, who is Episcopalian, and Pollan, who is Jewish, had an interfaith ceremony with both a minister and rabbi.</p> <p>"Michael seemed a little nervous," Rev. Joan O'Gorman later told People. "In fact, they seemed just like any other young and loving couple who were excited to be getting married."</p> <p>Their first child, a son they named Sam Michael, was born on May 30, 1989. Fox and Pollan loved being parents, and would go on to have twin girls, Aquinnah Kathleen and Schuyler Frances, in 1995, and one more daughter, Esmé, in 2001.</p> <p>"I kind of shut the door and said to everyone we love who wanted to see the baby, 'Just give us a little bit of time to get used to it ourselves,'" Fox said after the birth of Sam. "What's interesting is that the parental instinct just kicks in. The next thing you know, you've got a sore hip because you're holding him all the time."</p> <p><img style="display: block; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" src="https://hips.hearstapps.com/clv.h-cdn.co/assets/17/39/980x1001/gallery-1506543551-gettyimages-1319529.jpg?resize=480:*" alt="" width="394" height="402" /></p> <p>The couple grew even closer when faced with one of life’s biggest challenges – Fox was diagnosed with Parkinson's disease at age 29 in 1991 (though it wasn’t until 1998 that he shared the news publicly).</p> <p>"A lot of my adjustment has been dictated by Michael's point of view," Pollan said in <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a rel="noopener" href="http://www.oprah.com/omagazine/oprah-interviews-michael-j-fox-and-tracy-pollan" target="_blank">a 2002 interview with Oprah Winfrey</a></strong></span>. "He's so relaxed and so accepting of where he is, and that makes it easier for me, the kids, and everyone around him."</p> <p>But when the couple first received the news, it completely shocked and devastated them. Fox fell into a depression and started drinking heavily, before eventually getting a handle on his new reality.</p> <p>"I used to drink to party," the actor recalled on The Howard Stern Show in 2013, "but...now I was drinking alone and to just not be [present]. Every day."</p> <p>"So once I did that," he continued, "then there was about a year of, like, a knife fight in a closet, where I just didn't have my tools to deal with it. Then after that, I went into therapy and it all started to get really clear to me."</p> <p>He said he realised he just had to take life "one day at a time” and "then everything started to really turn the other way. My marriage got great, and my career..."</p> <p>Stern interjected here to suggest Fox's marriage "got great" after he realszed that Pollan wasn't going anywhere after his diagnosis. "Exactly," Fox agreed.</p> <p>Fox later told Winfrey: "There were a lot of questions I was afraid to ask Tracy. "Like, 'Does it scare you that I'm sick? Do you not love me because I'm sick?' I didn't ask her those questions. But nothing Tracy was doing was showing me that she didn't want to be with me."</p> <p>When Fox publicly revealed that he had Parkinson's disease in 1998, he began in earnest his life’s mission of raising awareness and money for Parkinson’s through the Michael J. Fox Foundation. As of April 2017 the foundation has funded more than $700 million in research.</p> <p>"The reason I wasn't telling was that I wondered if people would still laugh if they knew I was sick," Fox told Winfrey. "Can you laugh at a sick person [on TV] and not feel like an a--hole? I finally thought, let me not worry about that. What other people think is none of my business. I just have to have faith in the audience. If it's funny, they'll laugh."</p> <p><img style="display: block; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" class="image--full" src="https://akns-images.eonline.com/eol_images/Entire_Site/2018612/rs_1024x759-180712134829-1024-mjfox-tracy-nba-game.jpg?fit=inside|900:auto&amp;output-quality=90" border="0" alt="Michael J. Fox, Tracy Pollan, 2011" width="444" height="329" /></p> <p>And every day the couple deal with Fox's condition, but always as a team.</p> <p>"Tracy wasn't sentimental or romantic about it at all," he <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a rel="noopener" href="https://www.aarp.org/entertainment/style-trends/info-2017/michael-j-fox-aarp-magazine.html" target="_blank">told AARP magazine</a></strong></span> in 2017 about how his wife reacted to his Parkinson's diagnosis. "No terror. No big windy... So, no exhibition of grief and fear. Tracy was just like, 'You've got a stone in your shoe. We'll do what we can until you can get it out. In the meantime, if you limp with the stone, that's all right. You can hold my hand, and we'll get over that.'"</p> <p>Pollan added that, of course, there were tough days, but they both knew they were in this together.</p> <p>"Through it all we've loved each other," Fox said. "And that love never died," Pollan added. "We had a solid foundation to begin with."</p> <p>When Winfrey asked if Fox felt Parkinson's had been a blessing for their marriage, giving them no choice but to become stronger, Fox replied: "I've often referred to Parkinson's as the gift that keeps on taking. It's a gift in that it really gave me a whole different appreciation for life. I discovered that I wasn't me minus Parkinson's. I was me plus it. I have been enriched by what it has opened up for me. It hasn't allowed me to take anything for granted."</p> <p>Before the diagnosis, "I had been constantly taking care of this and making sure that was okay, and now Tracy and I are just in it."</p> <p><img style="display: block; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" src="https://hips.hearstapps.com/clv.h-cdn.co/assets/17/39/980x654/gallery-1506544626-gettyimages-693930746.jpg?resize=480:*" alt="" width="446" height="297" /></p> <p>When asked about their then-27-year marriage in 2015, Pollen said: "It's like dog years!"</p> <p>She told People that "giving each other the benefit of the doubt" has been key to keeping their marriage strong.</p> <p>"There are so many times when you have arguments, when you have things come up, and it really doesn't have anything to do with what he did, or said – it's how I am projecting that onto myself," Pollan continued. "A lot of times he'll just say to me, 'You know who I am, would I ever say anything to try to hurt your feelings? Just give me the benefit of the doubt.'"</p> <p>"I'm irritating but lovable, I have that effect on everybody," Fox said during the Daily Shot interview.</p> <p>"[I] won the lottery in the wife department," he later added.</p>

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Novak Djokovic's son steals the show after Wimbledon final win

<p>As he lifted the Wimbledon trophy for the fourth time in his career, Novak Djokovic locked eyes with his biggest fan – his three-year-old son Stefan.</p> <p>Djokovic’s son was too young to be allowed to watch the match from inside Centre Court but had arrived just in time to see his father hoist up the ultimate reward in tennis.</p> <p>Wimbledon rules do not permit children below the age of 5 on to Centre Court.</p> <p>Although the former world number one has won many Grand Slam titles before, this one in particular will hold a special place in the Serbian's heart.</p> <p><img style="display: block; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" class="fiso-article-captioned-figure__image" src="https://cdn.newsapi.com.au/image/v1/ff89fa27aac140586c80c14e9633abce" alt="Novak Djokovic’s son steals the show." width="458" height="257" /></p> <p>"For the first time in my life I have someone screaming 'Daddy, Daddy!'" Djokovic said of his son watching from the player's box.</p> <p>"He couldn't watch matches live because he was too young, but we were hoping if I hold the trophy he'd be here to witness it -- and there he is."</p> <p>"I can't be happier. I am emotional for him being there and my whole team. He was by far the best sparring partner I had in the last couple of weeks!" added Djokovic who was pictured hitting balls with his son on the practice courts earlier in the tournament.</p> <blockquote class="twitter-tweet"> <p dir="ltr">When you spot dad with the trophy 🏆<a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/Wimbledon?src=hash&amp;ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#Wimbledon</a><span> </span><a href="https://twitter.com/DjokerNole?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">@DjokerNole</a><span> </span><a href="https://t.co/POO2uXZWRq">pic.twitter.com/POO2uXZWRq</a></p> — Wimbledon (@Wimbledon)<span> </span><a href="https://twitter.com/Wimbledon/status/1018521454638485504?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 15, 2018</a></blockquote> <blockquote class="twitter-tweet"> <p dir="ltr">Are you kidding? Djokovic’s son is the cutest thing in the world! 😍<a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/Wimbledon?src=hash&amp;ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#Wimbledon</a><span> </span><a href="https://t.co/YONMLxiNC2">pic.twitter.com/YONMLxiNC2</a></p> — Erika (@erika89tc)<span> </span><a href="https://twitter.com/erika89tc/status/1018521004199567360?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 15, 2018</a></blockquote> <p>Djokovic and his wife Jelena also have a daughter, Tara, who was born in September last year.</p> <p>Djokovic won his 13th Grand Slam title, defeating first-time Wimbledon finalist Kevin Anderson 6-2, 6-2, 7-6 (3).</p> <p> </p> <p> </p>

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Johanna Griggs confesses: “I wish I met my husband earlier”

<p>She is one of the most popular faces on our TV screens as the host of <em>House Rules</em> and <em>Better Homes &amp; Gardens</em>.</p> <p>Speaking to <em><a href="https://www.nowtolove.com.au/celebrity/tv/johanna-griggs-husband-49851">NowToLove</a></em>, the 44-year-old opened up about “the most awesome person” she knows – and you would be surprised to hear it’s not her adorable new grandson, Jax – who was born in March to her son Joe, 21, and his partner Katie – but her husband, Todd Huggins.</p> <p>The TV host says it’s the love of her doting partner that keeps her going.</p> <p>Johanna told <em>NowToLove</em>, “I don’t think there’s many men who would have a wife who spends 90 per cent of their life travelling and never be insecure about it because he’s so confident in his own skin.”</p> <p>The new grandmother added, “He’s pretty exceptional.”</p> <blockquote style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" class="instagram-media"> <div style="padding: 8px;"> <div style="background: #F8F8F8; line-height: 0; margin-top: 40px; padding: 50% 0; text-align: center; width: 100%;"> <div style="background: url(data:image/png; base64,ivborw0kggoaaaansuheugaaacwaaaascamaaaapwqozaaaabgdbtueaalgpc/xhbqaaaafzukdcak7ohokaaaamuexurczmzpf399fx1+bm5mzy9amaaadisurbvdjlvzxbesmgces5/p8/t9furvcrmu73jwlzosgsiizurcjo/ad+eqjjb4hv8bft+idpqocx1wjosbfhh2xssxeiyn3uli/6mnree07uiwjev8ueowds88ly97kqytlijkktuybbruayvh5wohixmpi5we58ek028czwyuqdlkpg1bkb4nnm+veanfhqn1k4+gpt6ugqcvu2h2ovuif/gwufyy8owepdyzsa3avcqpvovvzzz2vtnn2wu8qzvjddeto90gsy9mvlqtgysy231mxry6i2ggqjrty0l8fxcxfcbbhwrsyyaaaaaelftksuqmcc); display: block; height: 44px; margin: 0 auto -44px; position: relative; top: -22px; width: 44px;"></div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BagFi3YnGtm/" target="_blank">A post shared by Johanna Griggs (@johgriggs7)</a> on Oct 21, 2017 at 12:16am PDT</p> </div> </blockquote> <p>The mum-of-two, who shares her two sons with former husband and actor Gary Sweet, met Todd – who is a building foreman – through mutual friends and they will celebrate their 12th wedding anniversary in November this year.</p> <p>While eternally grateful to have met Todd, Johanna says her one big regret is that their paths didn’t cross sooner.</p> <p>“I feel so lucky I met him, but I wish I met him earlier,” she confessed.</p> <p>“He’s awesome. He’s such a ripper. He’s just the most awesome person I know. He’s funny, he’s the first person to take the mickey out of himself, he’s kind, genuine and just a stand-up human being. You can rely on him,” the former Olympic swimmer added.</p> <p>MREC-TAG-HERE</p>

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The reason why narcissists need to outdo everyone else

<p><em><strong>Susan Krauss Whitbourne is a professor of Psychology and Brain Sciences at the University of Massachusetts Amherst. She writes the Fulfilment at Any Age blog for Psychology Today.</strong></em></p> <p>Grandiosity and an elevated self-focus are key components of narcissism. The way in which narcissists view themselves, however, also reflects the way they view other people. In order to see themselves as superior they, by definition, must see everyone else as beneath them. Consider a situation in which a co-worker of yours talks constantly about herself and her family, seems uninterested in your own life, and spends an inordinate amount of time preening in front of the mirror she keeps in her desk drawer. These narcissistic behaviours seem reinforced by the way she maintains her office space. Overflowing with photos showing her in flattering situations, such as the time she won an important award at work, she’s placed the awards themselves in prominent locations in her shelves so that you can’t help but notice them when you walk by her desk. An extension of her personal tendencies to turn attention toward herself, her office space is clearly intended to reinforce this view of herself as superior to others. </p> <p>The view of people high in narcissism as preoccupied with <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/basics/identity" title="Psychology Today looks at self-image">self-image</a></strong></span> doesn’t necessarily take into account this idea that such individuals seem driven to elevate their social status. According to a new study by University of Roehampton’s (U.K.) Nikhila Mahadevan and colleagues (2018), the narcissist's need for status goes beyond an ordinary need for positive regard from others. Most people, the British <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/basics/teamwork" target="_blank" title="Psychology Today looks at team">team</a></strong></span> argue, behave in ways consistent with “sociometer theory,” in which they are driven by a need for social inclusion. People high in narcissism, however, operate according to “hierometer theory,” or a need to navigate social hierarchies. It's status the narcissist seeks, not approval. As defined by the authors, status refers to “being respected and admired” (p. 2); inclusion refers to “being liked and admired” (p. 2). Thus, status involves a need to stand above others, while inclusion involves a need to be a part of a group. </p> <p>In distinguishing between <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/basics/self-esteem" target="_blank" title="Psychology Today looks at self-esteem">self-esteem</a></strong></span> and narcissism, the British researchers note that both refer to a form of self-regard. Self-esteem is defined as a positive or negative attitude toward the self. People high in self-esteem feel that they have worth, but don’t need to see themselves as better than others. People high in narcissism, though, have a more grandiose set of needs that include a sense of entitlement, a tendency to exploit others, and unusual sensitivity to criticism. The authors studied narcissism as a <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/basics/personality" target="_blank" title="Psychology Today looks at trait">trait</a></strong></span> that varies in everyone rather than the clinical form of <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/conditions/narcissistic-personality-disorder" target="_blank" title="Psychology Today looks at narcissistic personality disorder">narcissistic personality disorder</a></strong></span>. The highly narcissistic in their model should be acutely concerned, they predict, with social status, needing less to be liked than to be admired.</p> <p>The hierometer model of narcissism, as suggested by Mahadevan and her fellow researchers, uniquely proposes that “self-regard serves a status-regulating function, tracking social status, and motivating status-optimizing behavior” (p. 4). Consider people who feel they must wear the brand labels of expensive designers. They don't care whether the items with the fancy logos are particularly beautiful or even worth the money in an objective sense. Instead, the narcissistic individuals trying to assert their status want others to notice their wealth. </p> <p>In a series of investigations, the British researchers began with two online samples of adults who completed questionnaires designed to assess the needs for inclusion and status. Questions used to measure status and inclusion asked people to rate items that began with the following prompt: “Most of the time I feel that people…”  Sample status items included “… respect my achievements,” “think highly of my abilities and talents,” “admire me,” and “consider me a success.” Sample inclusion items began with the opening prompt of “most of the time,” followed by statements such as “feel warmly toward me,” “include me in their social activities,” “see me as fitting in,” and “would be willing to be friends with me.” The researchers then correlated scores on these two scales with standard measures of narcissism and self-esteem.</p> <p>As the authors predicted, scores on both the status and inclusion measures predicted ordinary (non-narcissistic) self-esteem, but narcissism was related only to scores on the status scale. Narcissism, then, appeared to operate according to the hierometer model. As these were correlational findings, Mahadevan and her collaborators then went on to test the two alternative models using an experimental design for which they recruited samples of undergraduate participants.  </p> <p>In the two experimental studies that followed, participants completed questionnaires measuring status and inclusion and were given false feedback about their scores, leading them to think either that they had scored high or low on the measure associated with the experimental condition (i.e. either high/low status or high/low inclusion). In the high status condition, the participants read feedback that included such praise as “People will tend to admire you, and think highly of your abilities and talents.” In the high inclusion feedback condition, participants were told “Statistically, you are much more likely than your peers to be liked, to feel you belong, and to come across as one of the group.” The researchers provided the opposite feedback to participants assigned to one of the low conditions. Following these manipulations, participants completed measures of narcissism and self-esteem.</p> <p>In these two experimental studies, the status manipulation predicted both self-esteem and narcissism, but the inclusion feedback had an effect only on self-esteem. Thus, narcissism acted as a hierometer meaning, again, that it is highly attuned to status rather than social acceptance in general. Being liked, as indicated by the inclusion measure, did nothing for the self-esteem of people high in narcissism, and when given positive inclusion feedback, people’s levels of narcissism didn’t respond. As the authors concluded, “Indeed, when it comes to narcissistic self-regard, social inclusion may be irrelevant, or even antithetical to it. As long as one receives respect and admiration, this type of self-regard may not “care” about levels of social inclusion” (p. 15).</p> <p>Returning to the question of your apparently status-conscious co-worker, the British findings suggest that she’s using these symbols of success in a narcissistic manner to remind her (and those around her) of her high social standing. Further, she may not particularly care whether you like her or not, as long as you admire her for her accomplishments. If the sense of entitlement that went with her narcissistic tendencies weren’t so off-putting, you might be tempted to think “Sad!” when you go by her desk.</p> <p>To sum up, the Mahadevan et al. findings show that narcissism may indeed operate on a plane independent of the need to be liked that we associate with its constant clamouring for attention. The need for inclusion is a far more socially adaptive approach that, in the long run, can prove far more important for fulfillment.</p> <p><em>Written by Susan Krauss. Republished with permission of</em> <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com" target="_blank"><em><strong><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Psychology Today.</span></strong></em></a></p>

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The three questions Barack Obama believes everyone should ask before marriage

<p>The former White House communications director Dan Pfeiffer has revealed the wise relationship advice that Barack Obama shared with him while he was president.</p> <p>In Pfeiffer’s new book, <em>Yes, We (Still) Can</em>, the author shares a deep conversation he had with his former boss on his last day on the job in 2015.</p> <p>As they shared their plans for the future, Pfeiffer opened up about his girlfriend, hinting that the pair were getting serious.</p> <p>“So are you guys moving together? This is the one, huh,” Obama asked Pfeiffer, in an excerpt that has been shared on Twitter.</p> <p>Obama then shared some fatherly advice in the form of three questions he believes everyone should ask before getting married.</p> <blockquote class="twitter-tweet"> <p dir="ltr">Barack Obama’s relationship advice to <a href="https://twitter.com/danpfeiffer?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">@danpfeiffer</a> is better than 99% of the advice columns on the Internet. <a href="https://t.co/AumDz0M8fY">pic.twitter.com/AumDz0M8fY</a></p> — Amanda Litman (@amandalitman) <a href="https://twitter.com/amandalitman/status/1009981680042627073?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">June 22, 2018</a></blockquote> <p>“Here’s the advice I give everyone about marriage — is she someone you find interesting?” Pfeiffer says Obama asked him.</p> <p>Pfeiffer admitted he was confused by the question, but then Obama explained: “You will spend more time with this person than anyone else for the rest of your life, and there is nothing more important than always wanting to hear what she has to say about things.”</p> <p>Then Obama shared question number two: “Does she make you laugh?”</p> <p>Then the former president revealed the final question Pfeifer should ask himself before proposing: “I don’t know if you want kids, but if you do, do you think she will be a good mom?”</p> <p>Pfeifer was able to answer yes to all three of the crucial questions and then invited Obama to attend his wedding, which was one of four weddings the former president attended of couples who met through him and his work.</p> <p>Both Michelle and Barack have been vocal about their strong bond with each other after 25 years of marriage.</p> <p>In May, Michelle shared a photo from their 1992 wedding and explained how the couple are “still having fun”.</p> <p>“Twenty-five years later, we’re still having fun, while also doing the hard work to build our partnership and support each other as individuals,” she wrote.</p> <p>“I can’t imagine going on this wild ride with anybody else.”</p> <blockquote style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 658px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" class="instagram-media"> <div style="padding: 8px;"> <div style="background: #F8F8F8; line-height: 0; margin-top: 40px; padding: 33.19444444444444% 0; text-align: center; width: 100%;"> <div style="background: url(data:image/png; base64,ivborw0kggoaaaansuheugaaacwaaaascamaaaapwqozaaaabgdbtueaalgpc/xhbqaaaafzukdcak7ohokaaaamuexurczmzpf399fx1+bm5mzy9amaaadisurbvdjlvzxbesmgces5/p8/t9furvcrmu73jwlzosgsiizurcjo/ad+eqjjb4hv8bft+idpqocx1wjosbfhh2xssxeiyn3uli/6mnree07uiwjev8ueowds88ly97kqytlijkktuybbruayvh5wohixmpi5we58ek028czwyuqdlkpg1bkb4nnm+veanfhqn1k4+gpt6ugqcvu2h2ovuif/gwufyy8owepdyzsa3avcqpvovvzzz2vtnn2wu8qzvjddeto90gsy9mvlqtgysy231mxry6i2ggqjrty0l8fxcxfcbbhwrsyyaaaaaelftksuqmcc); display: block; height: 44px; margin: 0 auto -44px; position: relative; top: -22px; width: 44px;"></div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BjHhl_lgrQN/" target="_blank">A post shared by Michelle Obama (@michelleobama)</a> on May 23, 2018 at 4:03am PDT</p> </div> </blockquote> <p>Last October, Obama delivered a sweet video tribute to his wife while she was speaking at the Pennsylvania Conference for Women.</p> <p>MREC-TAG-HERE</p> <p>“I had to crash this party because today we have been married for 25 years,” Obama said in the video.</p> <p>“The idea that you would put up with me for a quarter of a century is a remarkable testament to what a saintly, wonderful, patient person you are.”</p> <p>“It was a lot easier for me to do it,” he added with a smile, “because the fact of the matter is that not only have you been an extraordinary partner, not only have you been a great friend, somebody who could always make me laugh, somebody who would always make sure that I was following what I thought was right, but you have also been an example to our daughters and to the entire country.”</p>

Relationships

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Why David Campbell tears up talking about his wife

<p>David Campbell is moved to tears talking about how much he and his wife love each other.</p> <p>“She just– she brightened my world that time. And so that was it,” the Today Extra host says of first meeting his wife Lisa 12 years ago. “The first impression was charming and disarming.”</p> <p>Hailing from England, Lisa, who was only in town for three weeks, decided to give David a chance.</p> <p>“She packed up her life. With a month after meeting me and spending three weeks with me, she'd moved to Australia and changed my life completely,” David tells <em><strong><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><a href="https://honey.nine.com.au/2018/06/29/15/36/how-we-met-david-campbell">9Honey.</a></span></strong></em></p> <p>“It's like I knew I couldn’t be without her. I knew something had changed in me with her and that I’d never felt this way before. There was a sense of home I felt with her, a sense of joy.”</p> <p>“My wife is perennially happy and bright, and just so gorgeous. She lights up every room she's in. When she left, I realised it was quite addictive for me – I really needed that in my life and didn't realise I did.”</p> <p>David, who married Lisa in 2007, cannot stop gushing about his wife.</p> <p>“I've never met anybody like her, you know,” he says.</p> <p>“She's the best decision I've ever made. I just love her. I love being near her. I don't want to be with anybody else.”</p> <p>He credits his wife for helping him through many of his own personal struggles,</p> <p>“She's not my therapist,” he stresses. “But she's a glass half-full person and that's been very healthy for me. Hopefully I've brought joy to her too.”</p> <p>The pair have three children: eight-year-old Leo and three-year-old twins Betty and Billy.</p> <p><img width="407" height="306" src="https://imageresizer.static9.net.au/pG1NcbfWdpn46x1qHXTkdeETliM=/396x0/http%3A%2F%2Fprod.static9.net.au%2F_%2Fmedia%2FNetwork%2FImages%2F2018%2F06%2F29%2F15%2F44%2F180629_howwemet_davidcampbell_8.jpg" style="display: block; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"/></p> <p>“I knew three weeks in that she'd be a good mother; I could just see it in her face,” Campbell recalls with tears in his eyes.</p> <p>“I think I said to her, ‘My kids would love to look at your face.’”</p> <p>These days the Campbells run a production company, Luckiest Productions, together.</p> <p>“I'm always learning from her,” he says.</p> <p>“There's so much of the world I haven’t seen, that I want to see with her. I want to share it with Lisa.</p> <p>“Getting old with her is one of the most exciting things. That makes my palms itchy with excitement, thinking that I'm spending decades with her and there's so much world to see.”</p>

Relationships