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Why you shouldn’t let guilt motivate you to exercise

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/martin-j-turner-489218">Martin J Turner</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/manchester-metropolitan-university-860">Manchester Metropolitan University</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/anthony-miller-679114">Anthony Miller</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/staffordshire-university-1381">Staffordshire University</a></em></p> <p>The hardest part of consistently exercising is finding the motivation to do it. But using the wrong type of motivation for your workouts could militate against you – and could even have consequences for your mental health.</p> <p>Our research, which <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/02640414.2022.2042124">investigated the motivations</a> of 650 frequent exercisers, found that people who believed things like “I am a loser if I do not succeed in things that matter to me” and “I have to be viewed favourably by people that matter to me” were more likely to use self-pressure and wanting to avoid guilt as motivation to exercise.</p> <p>Not only was this group more likely to not want to exercise at all, we also found that those who used guilt and self-pressure as motivation were at greater risk of experiencing poor mental health.</p> <p>The tendency to hold dogmatic beliefs like “I must” or “I have to”, and harmful beliefs about yourself creates a negative and <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/10413200.2018.1446472?casa_token=ObBghnn3ab4AAAAA%3ATpiEvunYBqKbIqI2_kuC5fM2zMvhhYLP72TVplW3Noc4PYhQUaMBkq1pEabaXXid0hwnE3R5kNYvnA">unhealthy approach to exercise</a>.</p> <p>But the darker side of this mindset is that people who held these beliefs reported higher symptoms of anxiety, depression and stress compared with exercisers who didn’t use self-pressure and guilt as motivation.</p> <p>While it’s possible that people already experiencing poor mental health would be more likely to have negative beliefs about themselves, there’s a deeply reciprocal relationship between mental health and how we think and act.</p> <p>Research shows that extreme, rigid, negative ways of thinking are <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/26609889/">risk factors for mental health problems</a>. Repeating negative thoughts many times, over many years, can lead to deep self-loathing which can corrode your <a href="https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2019-59628-001">mental health</a> and leave you in a continuous state of <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/pdf/10.1080/02640414.2022.2042124">stress and depression</a>. It can also make you even less likely to positively change your thinking and <a href="https://journals.humankinetics.com/view/journals/tsp/8/3/article-p248.xml">exercise habits</a>.</p> <p>On the other hand, our study found that people who reported lower symptoms of depression, anxiety and stress had significantly less extreme, rigid and negative ways of thinking. These participants were less likely to endorse ways of thinking that involved self-demands (“I must”), magnification (“things are awful”), and self-condemnation (“I am a failure”).</p> <p>These exercisers reported using more useful forms of motivation to workout, such as exercising because they loved the activity and recognised the value and importance of exercise as a part of their identity.</p> <p>These findings show us just how important the thoughts you use to motivate your workouts can be, especially when it comes to your mental health.</p> <p>One solution to these ways of thinking is a psychological approach called <a href="https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2016.01423/full">rational emotive behaviour therapy</a> (REBT). REBT aims to understand and challenge deeply held beliefs and develop helpful alternatives. This approach may help an exerciser go from “I have to exercise” and “I’d be worthless if I didn’t exercise” to thinking “I really want to exercise, but if I didn’t exercise, I would be disappointed, but I would not be worthless.”</p> <p>Improving a person’s beliefs about exercise can change their motivation from being centred on self-pressure and guilt to seeing the value and potential enjoyment in working out.</p> <p>There are many <a href="https://www.amazon.co.uk/Rational-Practitioner-Performance-Psychologists-Practicing/dp/1032060409">ideas and tools</a> we can apply from REBT even without having to step foot inside a psychologist’s office. So if you find yourself falling into this cycle of self-loathing and losing motivation to exercise, here’s what you can do.</p> <h2>Think critically about your thinking</h2> <p>When you think about exercising, are your thoughts negative, unhelpful and self-pressuring? Be more critical of your thoughts about exercise, and ask yourself whether they make sense – and if they’re helping you.</p> <p>If the answer is no, try to work on adopting thoughts that do make sense and help you achieve your exercise goals, such as seeing exercise as something to enjoy, instead of something you have to do out of guilt. Being able to challenge your own unhelpful beliefs, and learning to harness more helpful ones, can help you <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/pdf/10.1111/sms.12926?casa_token=fbVymZ3SxrAAAAAA:SiNRAlz0Xh11xbeWDUtxjwlP40gDfurptgas5SSHYLtLD9v06uLm8ztlTvi1AnwTSvTReT_u-fdgiJ0h">achieve your goals</a>.</p> <h2>Realise you’re not what you do</h2> <p>As human beings, we’re imperfect. We mess up – but we also do great things. When things don’t go to plan, it’s important to try and accept this. And remember that failing doesn’t mean you’re a failure.</p> <p>Realise that you aren’t <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1469029222001662">defined by your shortcomings</a>. Recognising that failing does not make you a failure may help you better bounce back from times when you fall short of your goals and expectations and keep on track with reaching your goals and finding solutions.</p> <h2>Harness the power of want</h2> <p>You’re far more likely to stick to your exercise goals if you <a href="https://selfdeterminationtheory.org/SDT/documents/1997_RyanFrederickLepesRubioSheldon.pdf">want to do them</a>. Find an activity that offers you something more than just exercise. Perhaps join an exercise group where you can make new friends or rekindle your passion for something you used to do.</p> <p>If you’re only exercising because you believe you have to or to avoid guilt, then you probably won’t stick with it. Nobody likes to be pressured into doing difficult things. Finding an activity you don’t have to force yourself to do may help you move from seeing exercise as something you have to do to something you love to do.</p> <p>Exercise is, of course, important, but guilting yourself into doing it will probably do more harm than good. The best way is by finding things you enjoy, accepting yourself unconditionally if your motivation does wane, and removing “have to” from your thoughts about exercise.<!-- Below is The Conversation's page counter tag. Please DO NOT REMOVE. --><img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/220342/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /><!-- End of code. If you don't see any code above, please get new code from the Advanced tab after you click the republish button. The page counter does not collect any personal data. More info: https://theconversation.com/republishing-guidelines --></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/martin-j-turner-489218">Martin J Turner</a>, Reader in Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/manchester-metropolitan-university-860">Manchester Metropolitan University</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/anthony-miller-679114">Anthony Miller</a>, Senior Lecturer in Sport and Exercise Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/staffordshire-university-1381">Staffordshire University</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images </em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/why-you-shouldnt-let-guilt-motivate-you-to-exercise-220342">original article</a>.</em></p>

Body

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Why am I online? Research shows it’s often about managing emotions

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/wally-smith-1450210">Wally Smith</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/the-university-of-melbourne-722">The University of Melbourne</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/greg-wadley-203663">Greg Wadley</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/the-university-of-melbourne-722">The University of Melbourne</a></em></p> <p>Most of us <a href="https://wearesocial.com/au/blog/2022/02/digital-2022-australia-online-like-never-before/">go online</a> multiple times a day. About half of 18–29 year olds surveyed in a 2021 <a href="https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2021/03/26/about-three-in-ten-u-s-adults-say-they-are-almost-constantly-online/">Pew Research Study</a> said they are “almost constantly” connected.</p> <p>How are we to make sense of this significant digital dimension of modern life?</p> <p>Many questions have rightly been asked about its broader consequences for society and the economy. But there remains a simpler question about what motivates people across a range of ages, occupations and cultures to be so absorbed in digital connection.</p> <p>And we can turn this question on ourselves: <em>why am I online?</em></p> <h2>What are we doing when we go online?</h2> <p>As the American sociologist Erving Goffman <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/1975/02/16/archives/frame-analysis.html">pointed out</a>, asking “What is it that’s going on here?” about human behaviour can yield answers framed at different levels. These range from our superficial motives to a deeper understanding of what we are “really” doing.</p> <p>Sometimes we might be content to explain our online behaviour in purely practical terms, like checking traffic routes or paying a bill. Other times we might struggle to articulate our reasons for going or remaining online.</p> <p>Why are we continually looking at our phones or computers, when we could be getting on with physical tasks, or exercising, or meditating, or engaging more fully with the people who are physically around us?</p> <h2>The ever-present need to manage our emotions</h2> <p>As researchers of human-computer interaction, we are exploring answers in terms of the ever-present need to manage our emotions. Psychologists refer to this activity as <a href="https://www.guilford.com/books/Handbook-of-Emotion-Regulation/James-Gross/9781462520732">emotion regulation</a>.</p> <p>Theories of the nature and function of emotions are complex and contested. However, it is safe to say they are expressions of felt needs and motivations that arise in us through some fusion of physiology and culture.</p> <p>During a typical day, we often feel a need to <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1037/1089-2680.2.3.271">alter our emotional state</a>. We may wish to feel more serious about a competitive task or more sad at a funeral. Perhaps we would like to be less sad about events of the past, less angry when meeting an errant family member, or more angry about something we know in our heart is wrong.</p> <figure><iframe src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/PQkNb4CLjJ8?wmode=transparent&amp;start=0" width="440" height="260" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe><figcaption><span class="caption">Digital emotion regulation is becoming increasingly common in our everyday lives.</span></figcaption></figure> <p>One way to understand our frequent immersions into online experience is to see them as acts within a broader scheme of managing such daily emotional demands. Indeed, in <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S1071581922001732">earlier research</a> we found up to half of all smartphone use may be for the purpose of emotional regulation.</p> <h2>Digital technologies are becoming key tools of emotion regulation</h2> <p>Over the pandemic lockdowns of 2020–21 in Melbourne, Australia, we investigated how digital technologies are becoming <a href="https://dl.acm.org/doi/10.1145/3491102.3517573">key tools of emotion regulation</a>. We were surprised to find that people readily talked of their technology use in these emotion-managing terms.</p> <p>Occasionally, this involved specially designed apps, for mindfulness and so on. But more often people relied on mundane tools, such as using social media alongside Zoom to combat feelings of boredom or isolation, browsing for “retail therapy”, playing phone games to de-stress, and searching online to alleviate anxiety about world events.</p> <p>To some extent, these uses of digital technology can be seen as re-packaging <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/026999399379285">traditional methods</a> of emotion management, such as listening to music, strengthening social connections, or enjoying the company of adorable animals. Indeed, people in our study used digital technologies to enact familiar strategies, such as immersion in selected situations, seeking distractions, and reappraising what a situation means.</p> <p>However, we also found indications that digital tools are changing the intensity and nature of how we regulate emotions. They provide emotional resources that are <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ubiquitous_computing">nearly always available</a>, and virtual situations can be accessed, juxtaposed and navigated more deftly than their physical counterparts.</p> <p>Some participants in our study described how they built what we called “emotional toolkits”. These are collections of digital resources ready to be deployed when needed, each for a particular emotional effect.</p> <h2>A new kind of digital emotional intelligence</h2> <p>None of this is to say emotion regulation is automatically and always a good thing. It can be a means of avoiding important and meaningful endeavours and it can itself become dysfunctional.</p> <p>In our study of a small sample of Melburnians, we found that although digital applications appeared to be generally effective in this role, they are volatile and can lead to <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2020/sep/27/social-dilemma-media-facebook-twitter-society">unpredictable emotional outcomes</a>. A search for energising music or reassuring social contact, for example, can produce random or unwanted results.</p> <p>A new kind of <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10187756/">digital emotional intelligence</a> might be needed to effectively navigate digital emotional landscapes.</p> <h2>An historic shift in everyday life</h2> <p>Returning to the question: <em>what am I doing online?</em> Emotion regulation may well be the part of the answer.</p> <p>You may be online for valid instrumental reasons. But equally, you are likely to be enacting your own strategies of <a href="https://cis.unimelb.edu.au/hci/projects/digitalemotionregulation">emotion regulation through digital means</a>.</p> <p>It is part of an historic shift playing out in how people negotiate the demands of everyday life. <!-- Below is The Conversation's page counter tag. Please DO NOT REMOVE. --><img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/208483/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /><!-- End of code. If you don't see any code above, please get new code from the Advanced tab after you click the republish button. The page counter does not collect any personal data. More info: https://theconversation.com/republishing-guidelines --></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/wally-smith-1450210">Wally Smith</a>, Professor, School of Computing and Information Systems, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/the-university-of-melbourne-722">The University of Melbourne</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/greg-wadley-203663">Greg Wadley</a>, Senior Lecturer, Computing and Information Systems, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/the-university-of-melbourne-722">The University of Melbourne</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/why-am-i-online-research-shows-its-often-about-managing-emotions-208483">original article</a>.</em></p>

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Police finally reveal motive behind murder of campers Russell Hill and Carol Clay

<p>Police have alleged that the two secret lover campers, Russel Hill and Carol Clay, were "childhood sweethearts" who had started their affair 15 years ago.</p> <p>In a summary of the case against Gregory Lynn, who allegedly killed the pair, police believe that Mr Hill and Ms Clay had rekindled their romance 15 years prior, and would go on regular camping trips to "spend time together".</p> <p>The pair allegedly drifted apart and had children with other partners, according to the documents provided to the Melbourne Magistrates’ Court on Tuesday.</p> <p>Mr Hill was married to another woman for 51 years, and according to the police facts provided to the court, his wife believed that he had gone camping alone.</p> <p>“Those close to them believe that they kept their relationship a secret to spare Hill’s family from distress,” the police statement read.</p> <p>The pair had gone camping in Wonnangatta Valley on March 19 2020, and they vanished sometime after 6 pm the next day.</p> <p>Police alleged that Mr Lynn killed the pair after an altercation over a drone, with Mr Hill fatally stabbed and Ms Clay shot in the head.</p> <p>Police also believed that he returned to the area in May and November 2020 to try and "destroy" evidence by setting the pair's remains on fire.</p> <p>Their bodies were buried around 40km from the campsite in Dargo on November 2021.</p> <p>Mr Lynn was in the Melbourne Magistrates’ Court this week for a committal hearing to decide whether there is enough evidence for him to stand trial in the Supreme Court.</p> <p><em>Images: Victoria Police</em></p>

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"We are a better country than that": PM condemns "racially motivated" killing

<p dir="ltr"><em>WARNING: Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander viewers are warned that the following story contains images of deceased persons.</em></p> <p dir="ltr">The heartbroken mother of Cassius Turvey has thanked Prime Minister Anthony Albanese for condemning the racially motivated brutal murder of her son. </p> <p dir="ltr">The 15-year-old year 9 student was walking home from school in Middle Swan, Perth when he was allegedly viciously attacked by a metal pole by a 21-year-old Jack Steven James Brearley. </p> <p dir="ltr">His head injuries were so severe and Cassius was placed in an induced coma after suffering two strokes and a brain bleed.</p> <p dir="ltr">Unfortunately, Cassius could not pull through from his horrific injuries and passed away on October 23. </p> <p dir="ltr">Mr Albanese condemned the attack and said Australia can do better. </p> <p dir="ltr">“This attack that, clearly, is racially motivated just breaks your heart,” he said. </p> <p dir="ltr">“We are a better country than that, and my heart goes out to the family and the friends.”</p> <p dir="ltr">Cassius’ mother Mechelle Turvey thanked Mr Albanese for his comments and said “it’s the words the country has been waiting for”. </p> <p dir="ltr">"They're just words but they mean so much to us," she said.</p> <p dir="ltr">"It's like you're on the same page as our hearts."</p> <p dir="ltr">Rallies were held across major cities in Australia and even Los Angeles as they called for justice for Cassius. </p> <p dir="ltr">"He's not just my loss, he's everyone's loss, even people that didn't know him," Michelle continued. </p> <p dir="ltr">"This is the worst thing to happen but this is just amazing, it's just bringing the community together.</p> <p dir="ltr">"This is black and white, you can see the diversity of people here."</p> <p dir="ltr">Jack Steven James Brearley, 21, has been charged with his murder and is due to face a Perth court next month.</p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Images: Nine</em></p>

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fitness tips your trainer is hiding from you

<p><em>Image: Getty</em></p> <p>Here is what some industry experts have to say: </p> <p><strong><span class="h3">For weight loss</span></strong></p> <p>1. Ben Gregory, former international athlete and coach, and PT at Manor London: “Drink more water and get your steps in.</p> <p>“General activity levels will help you lean down and feeling full with plenty of water not only makes your skin glow, it give you loads of energy but also keeps you feeling more satiated - you won’t be wanting to reach for those naughty snacks!”</p> <p>2. Samuel Aremu, Level 3 PT and body transformation coach: “Set alarms on your phone for getting up and away from your desk to take a 10 to 20 min walk a few times a day.”</p> <p>3. Lewis Bloor, online fitness coach: “Focus on the times you eat. Instead of going from junk food to rabbit food straight away, focus first on eating all your food within an eight hour window.</p> <p>“Gain this control, then move on to fine tuning the diet. This is called Intermittent Fasting.”</p> <p>4. Lucy Gornall, personal trainer at Digme: “Females, work with your body! Appreciate that at certain times of the month, you’ll have an increased appetite and a lower desire to exercise.</p> <p>“During these times, aim to maintain, then get back on the<span> </span>weight loss<span> </span>wagon after.”</p> <p>5. Samuel: “Use an online calorie calculator to work out what your personal calorie requirements are.</p> <p>“Start by consistently consuming your daily maintenance calories; once you can do this consistently for two weeks, and if your weight has dropped, calculate your calories again and do the same for two weeks.</p> <p>“If your weight hasn’t dropped, then slightly decrease your calories by 200 to 300 calories less per day as this will kick start the weight loss process.”</p> <p><strong><span class="h3">For a flat tummy</span></strong></p> <p>6. Baz Gouldsbury, PT and gym owner: “Abs are made in the kitchen; having reduced-sugar meals will definitely assist in achieving a flatter tummy.”</p> <p>7. Lucy: “Your posture could have a role to play in the flatness of your tummy - try tilting your pelvis forwards when you’re upright, which can often stop the lower belly protruding out.”</p> <p>8. Samuel: “Aim for a minimum of two litres of clean fluid, daily - our body retains water and it’s usually stored around our waistline.</p> <p>“Drinking water regularly allows your body to get rid of the excess, especially around the love handles.”</p> <p>9. Alex Crockford, PT and creator of fitness app, #CrockFit: “Something a little different is the ‘vacuum’ and it’s something you can do as part of your daily routine.</p> <p>“It involves really pulling in that deep core muscle, which really does tighten up the whole tummy area, irrelevant of fat loss: hold this for 15 seconds and increase this over time.”</p> <p>10. Samuel: “Avoid inflammation of the gut by cutting out the foods that you know will get you bloated, no matter how nice they may be.”</p> <p><strong><span class="h3">For lean legs</span></strong></p> <p>11. Maurice Ryan, general manager and PT at Fitness First Harringay: “Try weighted walking, lunge forwards and backwards.</p> <p>“Typically use a barbel on your back and take six to 10 steps forwards depending on the space you have, followed immediately by the same steps backwards.</p> <p>“Doing it this way gives us the opportunity to make it the total leg burner!”</p> <p>12. Samuel: “If leaner legs are what you want, high repetitions - around 20 or more - with low-moderate weight is the direction you want to be heading in.</p> <p>“Avoid heavy lifts and instead go for a weight around 30-60 per cent of your heaviest.”</p> <p>13. Lewis: “Running, sprinting, jumping and kickboxing are all great ways to strengthen and tone the legs.</p> <p>“Make sure you train legs three times a week and get your rest in too!”</p> <p>14. Lucy: “Walk everywhere. Honestly, walking is such an underrated form of movement and means your lower body is consistently working, helping to shed fat.”</p> <p>15. Jayne Lo, Elite Trainer, Third Space: “A split squat builds muscle and strength by working each leg individually.</p> <p>“Stand tall, then take your right leg back, as if you were about to do a lunge, keeping the right heel off the ground.</p> <p>“Engage your core, and bend both knees, dropping down until the right knee is just above the ground, then push back up to standing.</p> <p>“Avoid the front knee coming past the front toes and aim for eight to 10 reps on each leg.”</p> <p><strong>For a broad chest </strong></p> <p>16. Godswill Ejiogu, sport scientist and PT: “I would recommend press ups as the best exercise to grow your chest, with my second favourite being a dumbbell chest press.</p> <p>“For this, lie back on a bench, feet flat on the ground, hold a dumbbell in each hand, and then extend your arms up, so the dumbbells are over your chest.</p> <p>“Then, move the dumbbells back down towards your chest slowly; pause, then press up again - try four sets of 12 reps, with a 45 second rest between each set.”</p> <p>17. Ben: “Go heavy on any bench exercise and focus on that time under tension by going slowly and pausing at the top of the move.</p> <p>“Superset (as in, go straight into another exercise with no rest) with resistance band exercises to get that real full pump after each set.”</p> <p>18. Baz: “A lot of people stick to the same routine, week in week out, so take yourself out of that same old routine and mix it up, as shocking the body is the way to achieve the best results.</p> <p>“If you’ve always done the same program of weights, then change the moves and change the number of repetitions.”</p> <p>19. Samuel: “There are three things our chest loves; volume, variety, and big weights, son each chest day aim to do a total of no fewer than 100 reps.</p> <p>“In fact, aim towards 200 to 300. Split these repetitions between a variety of four to six different exercises then, aim to increase the weight you use for each exercise on a weekly basis and aim to do this in increments of 2.5 - 5kg.”</p> <p>20. Alex: “Instead of doing a chest day every week, try doing push ups as a part of your daily routine.</p> <p>“Do a little push up session to failure (until you can do no more reps) every day and this will help you grow your chest much better than one workout per week.”</p> <p><strong><span class="h3">To be a faster runner</span></strong></p> <p>21. Ben: “Go for shorter and faster paced sessions with good recovery between reps, so you can keep giving that high intensity effort.</p> <p>“Don’t be afraid of long recovery sessions that span more than five to six minutes’.”</p> <p>22. Jay Revan, boxing and conditioning coach at My Manor London: “Introducing explosive plyometric movements like jump squats, jump lunges or box jumps into your strength training program can improve your running speed.</p> <p>“These movements will teach your muscles to contract at a faster and more efficient rate.”</p> <p>23. Ryan Lucas-Lowther, Crossfit coach at Fortitude Fitness London: “It sounds simple, but move your arms faster, and it seems to work!”</p> <p>24. Lewis: “Instead of running for hours every day, split your training between endurance and explosiveness.</p> <p>“Go for two long, slow runs and two hard and fast sprint sessions a week; this will get you to level up in a matter of weeks.”</p> <p>25. Jay: “Interval training is a great way to improve running speed.</p> <p>“Switching between short intense bursts of running and timed recovery periods not only helps build muscle but will improve your overall speed and aerobic endurance.”</p> <p>26. Samuel: “Mix up a normal jogging pace with sprints.</p> <p>“Try one minute of jogging followed by 20 seconds of sprints, done eight times, back to back.”</p> <p><strong>For tackling a 5k</strong></p> <p>27. Baz: “If you’re new to running, start off slow. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Join your local running club as this will build your confidence.”</p> <p>28. Tim Kayode, founder of Myoset Sports and performance therapist: “Introduce a purposeful warm up - I’d encourage everyone before running a 5k to perform 3D Stretching.</p> <p>“This is functional, dynamic stretching and offers a more active way to loosen up before exercise, plus, it activates your muscles and improves flexibility and joint mobility.”</p> <p>29. Louenna Edwards, Barry’s Bootcamp Trainer and LuLuFiit founder: “Get yourself a pair of decent trainers; comfortable, supportive and bouncy - Adidas Pureboost 19’s are my go tos.</p> <p>“The same goes for your gear, don’t wear anything that will be a nuisance, fall down or get in the way of movement.”</p> <p>30. Samuel: “Map out a 5k route that you’re familiar with; select a day where you’ll cover 1k out of this 5k distance; try and jog this 1k then walk the rest.</p> <p>“Then, continue to do this and gradually increase your jogging distance to 2k. Keep repeating this until you can do 5k.”</p> <p>31. Louenna: “Use an app to track your split times, distance and progression - Strava would be my recommendation.</p> <p>“You can see what your friends are up to on it, keep yourself accountable and hearing how fast or slow I’m running each kilometre really does help me progress.”</p> <p>32. Ben: “Spend less time focusing on pace and looking at your fitness tracker. Instead, try to get out and just enjoy the feel of running.</p> <p>“Building up lots of easy miles that don’t even feel like training will help build you a serious base to build on.”</p> <p>33. Louenna: “If you struggle with distance, start by running 1k for example and build up each week.</p> <p>“Slowly but surely as you get fitter you can add a little distance and before you know it, 5k will be a breeze!”</p> <p><strong><span class="h3">For toned arms</span></strong></p> <p>34. Maurice: “Work on [your] triceps because they are the biggest muscle group in the arm and can give the toned look we all love.</p> <p>“Using the cable machine in your gym is a great way to tone the triceps. Go for a Cable Pulldown first. For this, stand arms length away from the cable machine and make sure the cable attachment point is above your head.</p> <p>“Hold a handle in each hand, overhead with arms straight. Slowly pull the cable down towards your thighs, keeping arms and back straight.</p> <p>“Pause when the cable handles reach your thighs, then return to overhead arm extension. Do 10 reps.</p> <p>“Superset this with Dumbbell Extensions: stand tall holding one dumbbell in both hands, arms up overhead.</p> <p>“Keeping upper arms straight, bend at the elbows and lower the dumbbells down towards your upper back.</p> <p>“Pause, then using your tricep muscles, bring the dumbbell up to the start position. Do 10 reps.</p> <p>“Do these moves back to back, taking a one minute rest between each pair. Go for three rounds and feel the burn!”</p> <p>35. Samuel: “Find a group of arm exercises you enjoy doing and increase the volume of each exercise.</p> <p>“So if you were doing 10 rep of three sets before, now do 20 rep of six - 10 sets.</p> <p>“The weight you chose should not be so heavy that you are unable to complete 15 reps.”</p> <p>36. Lucy: “Boxing is a great cardio workout that also provides serious arm toning. Go for five sets of three minute intervals.”</p> <p>37. Godswill: “Try a dumbbell bicep curl supersetted with a body weight bench dips.</p> <p>“Opt for 15 reps of each, back to back, then take a 45 second break before repeating it again. Do this four times.</p> <p>“For the dumbbell bicep curl, stand upright, with a dumbbell in your left hand, arm down by your side, palm facing forward.</p> <p>“Keeping your upper arm close to your body, bend at the elbow and curl your forearm up towards your shoulder, holding the dumbbell. Pause, then lower back to the start position - that’s one rep.</p> <p>“For bodyweight bench dips, you’ll need a bench or the edge of a chair.</p> <p>“Sit on your bench, and place your hands on the edge, either side of your hips. Legs should be straight out in front of you with heels in the ground.</p> <p>“Slide your glutes off the bench, then bend at the elbows and lower yourself down until you are hovering just above the ground. Then, push back up through your palms to the start position.”</p> <p><strong><span class="h3">To be more motivated to exercise</span></strong></p> <p>38. Ben: “Watch any fitness documentary on Netflix - I can’t help banging out some push ups after watching Mat Fraser win another CrossFit Games.</p> <p>“They are just such inspiring athletes.”</p> <p>39. Samuel: “Tell someone your goals as when we are accountable to someone we are less likely to quit because deep down we want to keep the image that person has of us, a positive one.</p> <p>“So we will do whatever it takes to keep it that way!”</p> <p>40. Baz: “The biggest motivation is yourself and who you surround yourself with.</p> <p>“Try to be around like-minded people who love to keep fit and healthy. Attending fitness classes is also a good way to do this.”</p> <p>41. Kate Beckitt, marketing specialist at Fresh Fitness Food and PT: “Don’t wait for motivation to come.</p> <p>“Real progress comes when even in the moments when you really don’t want to do the workout, or you really want to eat that extra slice of cake, you push through and do it anyway.”</p> <p>42. Louenna: “Music holds the key to my motivation and I really struggle if I realise my Beats headphones are out of battery!</p> <p>“Create a playlist that is going to motivate you and keep you pumped up!</p> <p>“The sense of euphoria that music can create can sometimes make you feel on top of the world, so do not underestimate the power of a great playlist.”</p> <p>43. Samuel: “Writing down your goal makes the reason why you train and exercise in the first place, more real, and the more real it feels, the more you will be connected to it which will keep you on track.”</p> <p>44. Lewis: “Focus on how you’re going to feel after the workout.</p> <p>“Try not to engage the little voice in the back of your head and just GO! Half the battle is getting there, the workout will take care of itself.”</p> <p> </p>

Body

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‘They’re really keen for us to do better than they did’: how refugee parents motivate their kids’ learning

<p>Refugees struggle to find meaningful employment in Australia. In 2010, the <a href="https://www.refugeecouncil.org.au/what-works-report/">Refugee Council of Australia </a> found people who came to Australia on refugee or humanitarian visas remained “the worst off of the migrant visa groups” when it came to employment. Around 12% were unemployed 18 months after arrival, compared to 8% of those who came on family visas.</p> <p>Education – and particularly opportunities for university education – gives people with a refugee background the <a href="https://link.springer.com/book/10.1007%2F978-981-13-0420-0">means to significantly improve</a> their lives and socioeconomic status. People with refugee backgrounds hope for a better life for their children than the one they had, and they see education as crucial step in this journey.</p> <p>But we know little about the role refugee parents play in influencing their children’s educational and long-term success.</p> <p>My research focused on refugee families whose children performed well in school and university. We interviewed 50 refugee parents, children and their teachers to find out whether particular values of refugee families influenced the children educationally.</p> <p>We found parents who took the refugee journey to secure a good life for their family indirectly influenced their children to work hard like they did, and to strive for the kind of life denied to them.</p> <h2>‘They wanted us to make something of ourselves’</h2> <p>The parents who participated in the research varied in their levels of education – from no formal schooling to having a PhD. Most parents did the interview in their first language with either a professional interpreter, a bilingual school services officer or an adult child interpreting.</p> <p>Their cultural backgrounds varied widely too: interviewees included refugees from Afghanistan, Nepal, Rwanda, Syria, Vietnam and Bhutan. While all parents were first-generation refugees, the time their children had spent in Australia varied too: some had been born here, others came here as a child, while some arrived more recently as an adolescent.</p> <p><a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/437681/original/file-20211215-17-1gn2lix.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&amp;q=45&amp;auto=format&amp;w=1000&amp;fit=clip"><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/437681/original/file-20211215-17-1gn2lix.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&amp;q=45&amp;auto=format&amp;w=754&amp;fit=clip" alt="Girl taking care of baby sister at refugee camp in Bangladesh." /></a> <span class="caption">Refugee families have the shared understanding they can’t take their life in Australia for granted.</span> <span class="attribution"><a href="https://www.shutterstock.com/image-photo/coxs-bazar-bangladesh-october-10-2017-735839761" class="source">Shutterstock</a></span></p> <p>The refugee parents generally had high hopes for the opportunities education could provide for their children because they were denied the right to it in their home country or in refugee camps. From the interviews with the children, we found the parents’ high values around education motivated their children to put more effort into learning.</p> <p>Interpreter for Afghanistan-born parent Ahmad told us:</p> <blockquote> <p>The main inspiration for [the parent] is that no one in his family had an opportunity to have a higher education. So, his children will be the first one in his family that […] will be educated enough […] with a higher qualification […] They can’t help them with their [child’s] learning, but the only thing that they provide is to care about them. They advise them about their education, how you can be successful through education […]</p> </blockquote> <p>The children, both at a younger age and as adults, were very aware of their parents’ impact on their ability to achieve well academically. But the parental motivation didn’t cross over into pressure.</p> <p>Alayna, who is 12 years old, was born in Iran to Hazara parents. She said she was confident her parents would still be proud of her chasing her own dreams, even if they didn’t align with theirs.</p> <blockquote> <p>My mum really wants me to be a doctor because doctor is a good job, and […] if I don’t choose to be a dentist or a doctor or a teacher (I can still be) a useful person for the world, they will be totally proud of me.</p> </blockquote> <p>Shipa in her 20s, born in Nepal to Bhutanese parents of Nepalese ethnicity, told us:</p> <blockquote> <p>A strong message from my family that I have to study (because) without education, there’s nothing […] but they also have trust (that) I can do it. It’s really positive and very exciting to be […] at the university as a refugee with uneducated parents […] I just wanted to be an educated girl.</p> </blockquote> <p>Ester, who is 18 years old, was born in Tanzania to Burundian parents. She said:</p> <blockquote> <p>They just wanted us to focus on school […] they’re really keen for us to do better than they did […] because we’ve got an opportunity to come to Australia […] they didn’t want us to waste it. They wanted us to […] make something of ourselves.</p> </blockquote> <p><iframe width="440" height="260" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/5bZR7UDWVk8?wmode=transparent&amp;start=0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen=""></iframe></p> <h2>Parents don’t need to be directly involved</h2> <p>Refugee parents have barriers to getting <a href="https://www.education.sa.gov.au/sites/default/files/towards-best-practice-parent-involvement.pdf?acsf_files_redirect">involved in their child’s education</a> in the same way local parents do. For instance, some local parents volunteer in learning activities or attend informal meetings about school-related issues. They may help with homework and regularly meet with their child’s teacher.</p> <p>Refugee parents often face cultural and language barriers when it comes to these ways of offering support. But they act as indirect influences in their children’s lives. They do so through raising a child in a family with a history of taking risks for a more secure and better life, and one that regularly communicates this shared history and the aspirations that come from it with their children.</p> <p>In this way, children are more likely to confidently pursue their own aspirations while valuing those of their parents. They are intrinsically self-motivated with a strong belief in their own abilities.<!-- Below is The Conversation's page counter tag. Please DO NOT REMOVE. --><img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important; text-shadow: none !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/172308/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /><!-- End of code. If you don't see any code above, please get new code from the Advanced tab after you click the republish button. The page counter does not collect any personal data. More info: https://theconversation.com/republishing-guidelines --></p> <p><span><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/hannah-soong-161771">Hannah Soong</a>, Senior Lecturer and Socio-cultural researcher, UniSA Education Futures, <em><a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-south-australia-1180">University of South Australia</a></em></span></p> <p>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/theyre-really-keen-for-us-to-do-better-than-they-did-how-refugee-parents-motivate-their-kids-learning-172308">original article</a>.</p> <p><em>Image: Shutterstock</em></p>

Family & Pets

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Aaron Cockman reveals motive behind Margaret River massacre in heartbreaking interview

<p>The man who lost all four of his children after their grandfather shot them in their sleep before turning the gun on himself broke down in tears last night as he remembered his “beautiful kids”.</p> <p>In an emotional interview on Channel 7’s Sunday Night, Aaron Cockman explained the circumstances he believes led his former father-in-law, Peter Miles, to commit Australia’s worst mass shooting since the Port Arthur massacre.</p> <p>Miles murder Taye, 13, Rylan, 12, Ayre, 10 and Kayden, 8, their mother Katrina Miles, and grandmother Cynda Miles at home in Osmington, a rural region near Margaret River in Western Australia.</p> <p><img width="444" height="333" src="https://cdn.newsapi.com.au/image/v1/dd2acd5c6de2e0e605736776faacf470" alt="A picture of the family Funeral Service for Peter and Cynda Miles, Katrina, Taye, Rylan, Arye and Kadyn. Picture: Colin Murty/The Australian" style="display: block; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"/></p> <p>Mr Cockman described the heartbreaking moment he found out his children were dead.</p> <p>“I’m working on a job site, and I just looked at my phone then I hear this message from the police saying, ‘Can we talk to you?’” he said.</p> <p>His colleagues, who had learned of the news on the radio, asked if he had heard that four kids and three adults had died.</p> <p>“My heart just dropped,” he said. “And I said, ‘Yeah, I think that’s my kids’. I said, ‘I’ve got the police coming here now.’”</p> <p>“I still can’t believe that this is even happening,” Mr Cockman said.</p> <p>Mr Cockman said the pressure of a custody dispute over the children caused strain on both families.  </p> <p>“The children started to be groomed to hate us and to hate Aaron,” said Mr Cockman’s mother Kim. “And that … that was wicked.”</p> <p>Mr Cockman thinks his former father-in-law killed his family to “solve the problem” surrounding the shared care of the children and because he did not want the kids to be saddened by his own death.</p> <p>“It solves the problem. It solves his problem. How do I get rid of myself without everyone, all the kids suffering,” Mr Cockman said.</p> <p>“If you actually thought in your head that you just cannot possibly live anymore. I just want to kill myself, I want to kill myself, but I can't, but I can't, because I don't want the kids to suffer.”</p> <p>Peter Miles was being treated for depression after one of his sons had killed himself and another was taken seriously ill with kidney failure.  </p> <p>Neighbour Felicity Haynes said: “It was known that he was seeking psychological help and psychologists had prescribed antidepressants.”</p> <p>She said Cynda Miles was showing the strain when she returned for visiting her son Neil in hospital and said there were “other things happening at home”.</p> <p>“I do think she was referring to the fact that Peter was being fairly irrational,” Ms Haynes said.</p> <p>Mr Cockman’s mother believes Mr Miles killed the kids so they couldn’t be with Aaron.</p> <p>“He wanted those children to be with him and Cynda,” she said. “He would have to kill them all so that they weren't left on their own with Aaron. That's how much he hated Aaron.”</p> <p>Mr Miles left a bizarre suicide note on the kitchen table that read: “Ex-husband, Aaron Cockman to have house content.”</p> <p><img width="425" height="319" src="https://cdn.newsapi.com.au/image/v1/051b9665f38bffde9e0e12a3915a070f" alt="The bizarre suicide note left by Peter Miles. Picture: Supplied" style="display: block; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"/></p> <p>Mr Cockman said he believes his children would still be alive if family court orders had been enforced, as he is convinced it was the long, drawn out court battle that led to Mr Miles’ demise.</p> <p>“Myself and the kids and Kat, and even Peter and Cynda suffered so much through the court system.</p> <p>“And for Peter to actually take on a farm with all my kids on it and be the father figure, it's a lot of pressure on someone that is not mentally capable and shouldn't be in that situation.”</p> <p>“I’m going to put all my effort into that,” Mr Cockman said. “I’ve got nothing else now.”</p> <p><em><strong>Lifeline – 13 11 14</strong></em></p>

Mind

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The best books to kick start healthy living

<p>When it comes to our health, we could all use a little motivation from time to time, and these five books will certainly inspire you to live a healthier life.</p> <p><a href="http://t.dgm-au.com/c/93981/71095/1880?u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.booktopia.com.au%2Feat-real-food-david-gillespie%2Fprod9781743533017.html" target="_blank"><em><strong><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Eat Real Food</span></strong></em></a> by David Gillespie </p> <p>Swapping processed food for 'real food' is David Gillespie's simple yet all too often forgotten 'secret' to weight loss and wellbeing. <em>Eat Real Food</em> is an easy beginners guide for those embarking on a lifestyle change for the better. It explains why fad diets don't work, what the real culprits of ill health and weight gain are, how to read food labels, shop, plan and cook wholefoods. Plus, there's simple recipes to replace common processed items. </p> <p><a href="http://t.dgm-au.com/c/93981/71095/1880?u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.booktopia.com.au%2Fhow-not-to-die-dr-michael-greger%2Fprod9781447282440.html" target="_blank"><em><strong><span style="text-decoration: underline;">How Not To Die</span></strong></em></a> by Dr Michael Greger </p> <p>Discover the foods scientifically proven to prevent and reverse disease, and learn how to take responsibility for your own heath through nutrition. Backed by solid scientific evidence, Dr Greger explains how the vast majority of premature deaths and illnesses can be prevented and even reversed through simple diet and lifestyle changes. A stand-out feature is the useful Daily Dozen, a checklist of the 12 foods that should be consumed every day for good health. Brimming with easy actionable advice and cutting edge nutritional science to live a healthier life. </p> <p><a href="http://t.dgm-au.com/c/93981/71095/1880?u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.booktopia.com.au%2Falways-hungry--david-s-ludwig%2Fprod9781409158844.html" target="_blank"><em><strong><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Always Hungry</span><span style="text-decoration: underline;">?</span></strong></em></a> by David Ludwig </p> <p>Harvard Medical School professor Dr David Ludwig lays out a diet and lifestyle plan that he says can conquer cravings, retrain your fat cells, diminish hunger, speed up metabolism and lose weight permanently. Those claims might raise some scepticism among the diet-weary, but its​ detailed eating approach has found success among many. Those who have followed through with the structured eating plan have experienced the benefits that it promises. </p> <p><em><a href="http://t.dgm-au.com/c/93981/71095/1880?u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.booktopia.com.au%2Ffoodist-darya-pino-rose%2Fprod9780062201263.html" target="_blank"><strong><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Foodist</span></strong></a></em> by Darya Pino Rose </p> <p><em>Foodist</em> offers a rational, flexible and forgiving approach to slow and steady weight loss in the world of crazy fad diets. Coining the term 'healthstyle' Darya Pino Rose says weight loss and health is a collective result of a person's daily behaviour, habits, food, exercise and treatment of their body. Healthstyle "is a reflection of your cumulative habits… [it's not] a momentary state of being". Packed with useful tips for shopping, food preparation, cooking, and how to make smart choices when eating out. There is no end date on this diet, but rather advocates for lasting change.</p> <p><em><a href="http://t.dgm-au.com/c/93981/71095/1880?u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.booktopia.com.au%2Fi-quit-sugar-for-life-sarah-wilson%2Fprod9781742613734.html" target="_blank"><strong><span style="text-decoration: underline;">I Quit Sugar for Life</span></strong></a></em> by Sarah Wilson </p> <p><em>I Quit Sugar for Life</em> is certainly no stranger to book shops, but the bestseller is just that for a reason. Former sugar addict, Sarah Wilson reveals the health damages of sugar and argues why we should all quit the white stuff. Her wellness philosophy illustrates how to banish cravings for sweet food by eating good fats and protein, cook sugar-free meals, detox safely, maximise nutrition and beat sugar addition once and for all with her tested eight-week plan - all without feeling like you're missing out. A quick, informative read for anyone curious about reducing their sugar intake.</p> <p><em>Written by Laura Baker. First appeared on <a href="http://www.stuff.co.nz/" target="_blank"><strong><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Stuff.co.nz</span></strong></a>.</em></p>

Books

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5 healthy habits to take up today

<p>Whether you make formal New Year's resolutions or not, the changing of the calendar often leads to contemplating what changes we might like to see in our lives. On the nutrition front, these are my top five picks for habits worth cultivating in 2017.</p> <p><strong>Cook More</strong></p> <p>Creating and serving even the simplest of meals is a profound way of caring for yourself and your loved ones. Homemade meals tend to be more healthful than ones you purchase, because when you cook from scratch, you know exactly what you're eating. That makes it much easier to eat in a way that aligns with your health goals.<br /> <br /> Think that cooking is difficult or time-consuming? It can be, but it doesn't have to be. Even inexperienced home cooks can do wonderful things when they learn a few core skills: A few ways to cook vegetables; the ingredients for a simple vinaigrette; how to cook a pot of beans or whole grains; what to do with a piece of meat or fish, or a block of tofu or tempeh.</p> <p>Nail down a few basics, assemble a small collection of condiments and seasonings that appeal to your taste buds and you're set. For inspiration, look for cookbooks and food blogs that embrace real-world "let's get dinner on the table" cooking with short ingredient lists that emphasise easily available fresh foods and pantry staples. Save any "project" cooking for the weekends.</p> <p><strong>Consider Why You Eat</strong></p> <p>Sure, you eat when you're hungry, but what are the other reasons you eat? Boredom? Stress? Loneliness? Anxiety? Many people use food to meet needs that food simply wasn't meant to meet. When you find yourself reaching for food or mindlessly browsing the contents of your refrigerator, get in the habit of asking yourself, "Am I hungry?" If the answer is "No," ask yourself what you are expecting food to do for you in that moment. Usually, there are better, more meaningful ways of entertaining or soothing yourself.</p> <p><strong>Reduce Added Sugars</strong></p> <p>Added sugars are different from the natural sugars found in vegetables, fruits, grains, beans and dairy products. Added sugars, which include white sugar or other calorie-containing sweeteners, are highly refined from their original source and add calories without nutrients. Beverages are the biggest source of added sugars, followed by desserts and snack foods, but sugar is added to many prepared foods — including salad dressings and frozen meals — another reason home cooking is better for health.</p> <p><strong>Eat More Plants</strong></p> <p>If you make one change to your eating habits for 2017, a great choice would be to eat more whole plant foods: vegetables, fruit, whole grains, beans and legumes, nuts and seeds, herbs and spices. Simply put, adopting a plant-based diet is one of the best moves you can make for your health if you want to make your meals more nutrient-rich and reduce your risk of heart disease, Type 2 diabetes, cancer and other chronic diseases.</p> <p>The good news is that plant-based diets can take many forms, from vegan to vegetarian to flexitarian to omnivore. The common denominator is that they put plant foods at the centre of your plate. If you also choose to eat animal-based foods (meat, poultry, fish, eggs and dairy), they play smaller, supporting roles. While the benefits of a plant-based diet come from eating a variety of plant foods, you can't go wrong by making vegetables the star. They are packed with vitamins, minerals and phytonutrients — compounds that reduce chronic inflammation and disease risk — while being lower in calories than other foods.</p> <p><strong>Let Go Of Rigid Rules</strong></p> <p>Although it's hard to go wrong with eating plenty of plants and minimising a reliance on highly processed foods, the fact is that there's no single perfect eating plan. A nutritious diet allows for flexibility and shifts over time to suit your tastes and nutritional needs. Trying to find and follow a "perfect" eating plan is not only an exercise in futility, but it also often leads to all-or-nothing thinking: You're either perfect or you're a failure. This can lead to feelings of shame, and shame is a lousy motivator for positive change. Perfection is the enemy of progress.</p> <p>If you have a history of all-or-nothingism, why not try something new this year: Start small, start today and keep moving forward. Pick one or two areas to focus on — adding more vegetables to lunch and dinner, bumping up protein at breakfast, eating regularly instead of skipping meals and curbing mindless snacking are a few favourites — then add another only when you feel solid in your new habits.</p> <p><em>Written by Carrie Dennett. First appeared on <a href="http://www.stuff.co.nz"><strong><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Stuff.co.nz.</span></strong></a></em></p> <p><strong>Related links:</strong></p> <p><a href="http://www.oversixty.co.nz/lifestyle/home-garden/2017/02/home-habits-you-need-to-break-right-now/"><em><strong><span style="text-decoration: underline;">20 home habits you need to break right now</span></strong></em></a></p> <p><a href="http://www.oversixty.co.nz/health/mind/2017/01/tips-for-overcoming-chronic-lateness/"><em><strong><span style="text-decoration: underline;">4 tips for overcoming chronic lateness</span></strong></em></a></p> <p><a href="http://www.oversixty.co.nz/health/mind/2017/01/ways-to-boost-your-motivation/"><em><strong><span style="text-decoration: underline;">3 ways to boost your motivation</span></strong></em></a></p>

Body

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How to be on time, everytime

<p>Are you teased for your tardiness? Laughed at for your lateness? Well it doesn’t have to be this way. We’ve got some tips from those in the know – these are the people who breeze in right on time, all the time. How do they do it?</p> <p><strong>Don’t set yourself up to fail</strong></p> <p>If you know that you drag the chain in the morning and find it hard to get moving – a 7.30am breakfast catch-up is pretty unlikely to happen. So don’t agree to it in the first place. Suggest a time that suits you, on a day that you know you will have time to get there.</p> <p><strong>Prepare as much as you can</strong></p> <p>When you’ve got to be up and out the door to get to the airport, you don’t have time to be searching for a lost shoe. Set out your clothes the night before, and pack everything you need in a bag (and leave it by the front door). This will make your morning much less stressful.</p> <p><strong>Assume the worst</strong></p> <p>Depending where you have to be, always allow a buffer of time to deal with the unexpected delays. Things like traffic, broken lifts, or empty petrol tanks can throw a spanner in the works – so allow for them when making your plans.</p> <p><strong>Use online tools</strong></p> <p>If you’re going somewhere that you haven’t been before, always check an online map first and see how long they estimate it will take. Then add some extra time on top (the internet doesn’t know everything, remember). You can also use your calendar on your phone or computer to schedule your appointments with reminders. This way you can also avoid double booking yourself.</p> <p>Have you ever been late to an important event? How did you deal with it? Let us know in the comment section below.</p> <p><strong>Related links:</strong></p> <p><a href="/health/mind/2016/09/crying-can-be-good-for-you/"><strong><em><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Having a big cry can actually be good for you</span></em></strong></a></p> <p><a href="/health/mind/2016/09/10-steps-to-build-your-confidence/"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em><strong>10 steps to build your confidence</strong></em></span></a></p> <p><a href="/health/mind/2016/09/5-scientific-ways-to-make-your-brain-happy/"><strong><em><span style="text-decoration: underline;">5 scientific ways to make your brain happy</span></em></strong></a></p>

Mind

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Simple trick to make you want to exercise

<p>Did you know that being physically active can actually give you a greater sense of purpose in life? That’s what a recent <a href="http://hpq.sagepub.com/content/21/6/962.abstract" target="_blank"><strong><span style="text-decoration: underline;">report</span></strong></a>, published in the <em>Journal of Health Psychology</em>, found. Unfortunately, many of us are <a href="http://www.oversixty.com.au/health/body/2016/09/number-one-reason-health-deteriorates-as-you-age/" target="_blank"><strong><span style="text-decoration: underline;">still missing out</span></strong></a> on the countless benefits of regular physical activity. And while we all know exercise is good for us, let’s face it – finding the motivation can be a real struggle. Beach holidays and weddings might be enough to encourage us to hit the treadmill in an effort to shift a few kilos and look our best, but unfortunately, these bursts of inspiration tend to be rather short-lived. So, how do you find motivation and make it stick?</p> <p>The answer is simple – find something you love. You’re not alone if you tend to associate the word “exercise” with physically draining (and, for some people, downright unappealing) activities like running and weightlifting. However, exercise can be whatever you make it, and if you find something you enjoy doing, you won’t even need to “trick” yourself into doing it.</p> <p>Take your mind back to your childhood years – what activities did you like to do in the schoolyard? Netball? Soccer? Handball, even? Why not revisit one of these old favourites next time you need to get the blood pumping, and make healthy living a family affair by getting the grandkids involved, too.</p> <p>Or, if you like to work out without even realising it, there are dozens of fun activities you can try. Yoga is fantastic for people who want to ease themselves into a healthier lifestyle, relax, increase their flexibility and improve their strength. Dancing is another fun one, and it comes with wonderful health benefits. <a href="http://newsroom.heart.org/news/latin-dancing-may-have-health-benefits-for-older-adults" target="_blank"><strong><span style="text-decoration: underline;">A study</span></strong></a> of over-60s conducted by the University of Illinois found that sedentary people who took up Latin dancing twice a week for four months were much fitter, faster, and more active in their down time.</p> <p>If, after reading this, you really believe you’ve tried everything and still grapple with finding motivation, never fear. There are many practical measures you can take to encourage yourself to break a sweat, whether you’re motivated by health, aesthetics or even money.</p> <ol> <li><strong>Set a realistic goal</strong> ­– Don’t tell yourself “I must work out five hours a week.” Think about what’s realistic for you. Perhaps it’s just be a short stroll around the neighbourhood each day. Start small, tick little achievements off your list and set new challenges with each milestone you reach.</li> <li><strong>Create a motivation board</strong> – Visualising your goals is a fantastic way to keep yourself on track. Whether there’s an outfit you’d like to one day be able to wear or a marathon you’d like to participate in, pop some photos on a pin board and hang it somewhere you’ll see every day. Seeing what you’re working towards will only encourage you to go further.</li> <li><strong>Monetise it</strong> – Yep, you can monetise your workouts. Smartphone apps like <a href="http://www.pactapp.com/" target="_blank"><strong><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Pact</span></strong></a> encourage users to exercise by making them commit to a specific goal (like eating a certain amount of fruits and veggies or exercising a certain number of times during the week) and paying them for eating well and exercising using money from those who have broken their healthy living pact. Another good one to try is <a href="https://www.dietbet.com/" target="_blank"><strong><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Dietbet</span></strong></a>, which is a great motivational tool for people looking to lose some weight.</li> <li><strong>Reward yourself</strong> – If you’d rather not risk your wallet using an app like Pact (because, let’s face it, we all make mistakes), stick to good old-fashioned rewards. When you reach a goal you set, treat yourself. Try to avoid food-based rewards – as tempting as that might be! – and stick to things which will only encourage your healthy lifestyle, like more active wear, exercise equipment or something a little indulgent like a spa treatment.</li> </ol> <p>THIS IS SPONSORED CONTENT BROUGHT TO YOU IN CONJUNCTION WITH <a href="https://naturesown.com.au/" target="_blank"><strong><span style="text-decoration: underline;">NATURE’S OWN</span></strong></a>.</p> <p><strong>Related links:</strong></p> <p><a href="http://www.oversixty.com.au/health/mind/2016/08/bad-habits-that-are-actually-good/"><strong><em><span style="text-decoration: underline;">7 “bad” habits that are actually good for you</span></em></strong></a></p> <p><a href="http://www.oversixty.com.au/health/mind/2016/08/10-promises-to-make-to-yourself-today/"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em><strong>10 promises to make to yourself today</strong></em></span></a></p> <p><a href="http://www.oversixty.com.au/health/mind/2016/06/expert-tips-to-be-happier/"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em><strong>6 expert tips to be happier</strong></em></span></a></p>

Mind

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Dad's adorable motivation video for daughter's first day of school

<p>Do you remember your first day of school? It’s one of the most nerve-wracking – yet exciting – experiences in a child’s life. But one US dad has come up with a beautiful and empowering way of sending his little girl off into the world, and it will warm your heart.</p> <p>A video of the pair has gone viral, showing the dad encouraging his daughter in the mirror, repeating inspirational words of motivation.</p> <p>“Look at yourself. Look in your eyes. You've got to see it. You've got to believe it,” he tells his daughter. “You ready for school? Is it going to be a good day? Are you going to be positive?”</p> <p>“I am strong,” she repeats back to him “I am smart. I work hard. I am beautiful. I am respectful.”</p> <p>Watch the full video above, it definitely has us inspired!</p> <p>Tell us in the comments below, how did you motivate your kids when they were starting school?</p> <p><strong>Related links:</strong></p> <p><a href="/news/news/2016/09/3-year-old-girl-gives-herself-the-cutest-pep-talk/"><strong><em><span style="text-decoration: underline;">3-year-old girl gives herself the cutest pep talk in front of the mirror</span></em></strong></a></p> <p><a href="/news/news/2016/09/2-year-old-dinosaur-expert/"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em><strong>2-year-old dinosaur expert will make your day</strong></em></span></a></p> <p><a href="/news/news/2016/09/jamie-oliver-shares-beautiful-new-pic-of-baby-river/"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em><strong>Jamie Oliver shares beautiful new pic of baby River</strong></em></span></a></p>

News

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7 motivational tactics from grandkids

<p>Adult life can be hard! While it can be tempting to think that the only way to solve our problems is through consulting other adults, looking to the younger generation can actually be just as effective. Here are some strategies you can borrow from your grandkids to help move onwards and upwards.</p> <ol> <li><strong>Be the hero of your own story</strong> – Kids are the centre of their own universe, which gives them a great sense of power and influence. Picturing yourself as a proactive, conquering warrior can do wonders for your mindset.</li> <li><strong>Always ask “why?”</strong> – Yes, it can be maddening to hear “but why?” for the millionth time but our kids are actually onto something. Asking ourselves why we need/want/do something can help uncover our true intentions and in turn, our motivating purpose.</li> <li><strong>Seize the day</strong> – Children perceive time very differently to adults. We often spend time dwelling on the past or worrying about the future where as children only focus on the present, something we can all work on making more of a focus in our lives.</li> <li><strong>Give it a go</strong> – New experiences are one of the greatest things about being a kid. But why should they only be reserved for the young? The young at heart can learn just as much from “having a go” and seeing what happens.</li> <li><strong>Make it a game</strong> – There are plenty of un-fun tasks involved in adult life but my shifting your perception, they can be slightly more enjoyable. Try adding an element of playfulness to the situation, You’ll be surprised how much more motivating it can be.</li> <li><strong>Say “No”</strong> – Many of us have a lot of trouble saying ‘no’ even when we don’t want to take part in the activity. Kids don’t have the same issue. If they don’t want to do it, they’ll say so. Learning to say ‘no’ ends up giving you more time to say ‘yes’ to the things that matter.</li> <li><strong>Be fearless</strong> – Kids, especially young ones, don’t care what other people think about them. At all. This frees them up to explore a whole world of opportunity. Working towards your goals without the fear of judgment can make the process far easier and help your motivation levels remain sky high.</li> </ol> <p>What’s the most important lesson your grandchild has taught you? Tell us about it in the comments below.</p> <p><strong>Related links:</strong></p> <p><a href="/lifestyle/family-pets/2016/08/is-it-ever-okay-for-children-to-lie/"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em><strong>Is it ever okay for children to lie?</strong></em></span></a></p> <p><a href="/lifestyle/family-pets/2016/08/how-to-encourage-kids-to-love-cooking/"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em><strong>5 reasons why it’s important to let kids loose in the kitchen</strong></em></span></a></p> <p><a href="/lifestyle/family-pets/2016/08/expert-advice-for-coping-with-estranged-adult-children/"><strong><em><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Expert advice for coping with estranged adult children</span></em></strong></a></p>

Family & Pets

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4 motivational tips to help you exercise

<p>You know all about the benefits of exercise yet you still can't bring yourself to do any.</p> <p>You know it could make you happier, encourage your brain to grow stronger, protect against chronic disease and help you maintain a healthy weight, but you still choose to skip the morning sweat session and sleep for an extra hour instead.</p> <p>Everyone needs a little extra motivation to move sometimes. Fortunately, there are science-backed tips that could help get you started.</p> <p><strong>1. Stop focusing on the unpleasant beginning</strong></p> <p>As with most things in life, taking the first step is the hardest part of developing a regular exercise regime. It's like writing the first line of that annual report. By focusing on the long task ahead we psych ourselves out before we even get started. What we should be doing, is thinking about how great we will feel when the report is done and sitting on the boss' desk.</p> <p>And while reports are inherently unpleasant (in my book), exercise can feel pretty good once you get started.</p> <p>Eric Barker, author of the blog <em>Barking Up the Wrong Tree</em>, quotes a recent study of 279 adults, which found that participants significantly underestimated how much they would enjoy exercising because of a myopic focus on the beginning of exercise.</p> <p>By increasing the expected enjoyment of exercise, the short-sighted tendency could be harnessed and even overcome, resulting in an increased intention to exercise.</p> <p>The results were consistent for both group and individual exercise, as well as moderate to challenging exercises and included workouts ranging from yoga and pilates to aerobic exercise and weight training.</p> <p><strong>2. Form a strategy</strong></p> <p>Now that you've got your head in the game it's time to think about your game plan. And this could be as simple as talking to a mate about your exercise goals for the week.</p> <p>If you really want to get serious about fitness, you'll need to go beyond mere conversation. It's worth writing down your goals and coming up with strategies to achieve them.</p> <p>Barker quotes Heidi Grant Halvorson's book, <em>Nine Things Successful People Do Differently</em>. </p> <p>"Half the participants were asked to plan where and when they would exercise each week (e.g., "If it is Monday, Wednesday, or Friday, then I will hit the gym for an hour before work"). The results were dramatic: weeks later, 91 per cent of if-then planners were still exercising regularly, compared to only 39 per cent of non-planners." </p> <p>So why does writing things down means you are more likely to do it? Because commitments that are made actively have more staying power than those that are made passively, writes Barker.</p> <p><strong>3. Make it fun</strong></p> <p>You've heard of the saying "work hard, play hard", but what if those two things could be merged into one and hard work could become enjoyable?</p> <p>Barker uses an interview with Jerry Seinfeld from <em>Lifehacker</em> to illustrate. When asked about how he developed the discipline to write every day, Seinfeld said he made the task into a game.</p> <p>"He told me to get a big wall calendar that has a whole year on one page and hang it on a prominent wall. The next step was to get a big red magic marker. He said for each day that I do my task of writing, I get to put a big red X over that day," said Seinfield.</p> <p>"After a few days you'll have a chain. Just keep at it and the chain will grow longer every day. You'll like seeing that chain, especially when you get a few weeks under your belt. Your only job next is to not break the chain."</p> <p><strong>4. Listen to your favourite music</strong></p> <p>Listening to your favourite jams is a great way to boost morale when you're working out, even if you've been holding plank for five minutes.</p> <p>How? By taking you to your happy place.</p> <p>Otherwise known as "context dependent memory," Alex Korb, a postdoctoral researcher in neuroscience at UCLA, says "one of the strong effects of music comes from its ability to remind us of previous environments in which we were listening to that music."</p> <p>"Let's say college was the happiest time of your life. If you start listening to the music that you were listening to at that time, it can help you feel more connected to that happier time in your life and makes it more present," says Korb.</p> <p>Pumping out supersets to "Eye of the Tiger" won't just make your workout more enjoyable, it can actually improve your performance too.</p> <p>One study examined 15 participants who listened to preferred and non-preferred music while cycling at high intensity to investigate the effect on their performance. When listening to preferred music the participants were able to exercise for a longer distance, while those listening to non-preferred music tended to perceive more discomfort caused by the exercise.</p> <p>What motivates you to get moving? Let us know in the comments below.</p> <p><em>Written by Neela Shearer. First appeared on <a href="http://Stuff.co.nz" target="_blank"><strong><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Stuff.co.nz.</span></strong></a></em></p> <p><strong>Related links:</strong></p> <p><a href="http://www.oversixty.co.nz/health/body/2016/08/cycling-could-save-you-from-alzheimers-disease/"><strong><em><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Cycling could save you from Alzheimer’s disease</span></em></strong></a></p> <p><a href="http://www.oversixty.co.nz/health/body/2016/07/how-to-reduce-your-cancer-risk/"><strong><em><span style="text-decoration: underline;">How to reduce your cancer risk</span></em></strong></a></p> <p><a href="http://www.oversixty.co.nz/health/body/2016/07/secrets-for-a-healthy-heart-after-60/"><em><strong><span style="text-decoration: underline;">5 secrets for a healthy heart after 60</span></strong></em></a></p>

Body

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Why do we procrastinate?

<p><em><strong>Jim Selman, a 70-something-year-old guy, is determined not to let the cultural conversation of what it means to grow older and what is and isn’t possible as we age define the rest of his life.</strong></em></p> <p>Why do we procrastinate? As with many of my less agreeable habits, I decided to do a workshop on the subject for a European client late last year. The overarching question of why we procrastinate was framed a bit more specifically as “Why don’t we do the things we KNOW we need to do to accomplish what we SAY we want to accomplish?” The correlation to this question is if we don’t know what to do, why do we put off some action to learn or be coached to move forward to achieve whatever we say we want?</p> <p>One of the first things that became obvious is that everyone has a conversation about procrastination. No one has ever said, “I always do what I need to do when I need to do it”. Furthermore, it is generally a negative self-assessment. I also haven’t heard anyone say “I am just fine and happy not doing what I know I need to do.” There always seems to be some explanation or justification and most of us know that whatever our story, it is a pretty thin excuse. The excuse I hear most often is a variation of “it’s just the way I am”, which somehow seems to stop the conversation and kill any possibility of changing one’s practices. I am sure there must be some super-disciplined people who do manage themselves and their schedules so that everything they do is a conscious choice, but I think they are rare and the exceptions that prove the rule.</p> <p>As we delved into our own experience as procrastinators we could see that the overriding belief that justifies most procrastination is a misconception about the nature of time. Most of us believe that there is a future — in the future. That is, we say that we’ll get to it tomorrow as if tomorrow exists independent of today. As a consequence, shifting or delaying a task to another day is as easy as moving the furniture in your office. If we think about it, tomorrow doesn’t exist yet, and when we wake up it will be today again. Tomorrow never arrives and is always a concept in our mind today. It is a pure abstraction that we believe is ‘real’.</p> <p>Moreover, we generally think about tomorrow as an extension of the past. This is the basis for the famous French aphorism: “the more things change, the more they stay the same.” One of my favourite formulations for this idea is that “Yesterday is just a memory, tomorrow is just a dream and today is always just a conversation — usually about yesterday and tomorrow”. But action can only happen in the present. Action can never happen in the future.</p> <p>A second rationale that contributes to the persistence of the habit of procrastinating is that whatever the ‘it’ is that we’re putting off doesn’t matter, or it doesn’t matter if it gets done. This is reinforced sometimes as a choice about priority, although most of us know that the priority justification usually follows the moment we decide or begin to procrastinate, and that it is not uncommon to then procrastinate about doing whatever we thought was a higher priority. There always seems to be another ‘something’ to displace whatever it is that we’re putting off. This leads to the question of whether procrastination is a choice at all. In fact, we can easily observe it as a pattern that is omnipresent and over which we generally have no control. I say ‘generally’ because it is also true that from time to time we grit our ‘teeth’ and ‘just do it’. I am thinking of when I finally resolve to clean the garage today and force myself into action regardless of the nagging desire to do almost anything else instead.</p> <p>Like most strong habits, patterns or even addictions — the issue is more the persistence of the undesired behaviour as much as whatever the behaviour may be. There is certainly nothing ‘wrong’ with putting off something or choosing to do something else. The problem is always the self-judgment and meaning we give to the practice afterwards. A variation of “darn, why don’t I have more will power” or “I should have done it, or should do it now or should be more motivated or whatever ever else I think I should be or do to get it done”.</p> <p>The final insight we learned about ourselves followed some reflection about what is going on when we DON’T procrastinate. What we saw was that when we are genuinely committed, we either get it done or are pulled into some other action and do not ‘feel bad’ about not getting it done. In other words, when we are committed and in action, there is no procrastination, even if we aren’t doing everything on our ‘to do’ list. This suggests that procrastination doesn’t really exist, other than as some set of judgments about what we are doing or not doing.</p> <p>Moreover, procrastination is a conversation that is more of a cover-up than an excuse. It blinds us to the fact that we’re always choosing, and allows us to conceal or deny our responsibility for our choices. When I beat myself up for putting off something I think I SHOULD BE DOING, or feel bad when I don’t do what I know I should do, then I am blaming procrastination for my actions and even for my experience. I am giving my power to the pattern or the habit, and eventually becoming resigned that I have no choice about whether I procrastinate or not.</p> <p>At the end of the day, we realised as I realise now, that procrastination is not a problem it is a choice. When we remember that we are the chooser we can disconnect from our story about the way we are or the way it is and become present to what is calling to us to be done. We can learn to ‘listen’ for what really needs doing, as opposed to what is merely important or desirable. The more we learn to be present, the less time we spend in yesterday and tomorrow, and the more fully we can experience and participate in life as it is happening each and every moment of today.</p> <p>I am now learning to uses my procrastination habit as a reminder and a way of learning to live in the present, free of guilt and negative judgments about what I am not doing and becoming more fully alive and appreciative of what I am doing.</p> <p><em>To read more from Jim’s blog, visit his website <a href="http://www.sereneambition.com/" target="_blank"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong>Serene Ambition here</strong></span>.</a></em></p> <p><strong><em>If you have an opinion to share please get in touch at <a href="mailto:melody@oversixty.com.au">melody@oversixty.com.au</a>.</em></strong></p> <p><strong>Related links:</strong></p> <p><a href="/health/mind/2016/06/5-steps-to-help-you-speak-your-mind/"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em><strong>5 steps to help you speak your mind</strong></em></span></a></p> <p><a href="/health/mind/2016/05/how-to-beat-self-doubt/"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em><strong>How self-doubt holds you back</strong></em></span></a></p> <p><a href="/health/mind/2016/05/self-care-essentials-to-enrich-your-life/"><strong><em><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Self care essentials to enrich your life</span></em></strong></a></p>

Mind

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5 ways to stay motivated to exercise during winter

<p>As winter sets in and the days become shorter, motivation levels for exercising during the cooler months start to wane. Who wants to go for a jog when a cup of warm tea, a slice of cake and put on a classic movie?</p> <p>Staying true to your workout routine during winter requires a change of mindset. The first is having a goal or target to aim for. The second is clearly understanding the positive effects your actions will have on your life. Connect with these two forces and you will always be motivated.</p> <p><strong>1. Set a goal</strong></p> <p>Are you just working out because you feel like you have to? That’s an easy commitment to skip out on. Set yourself a specific goal. It doesn’t have to be something extreme or even anything about your physical appearance. It might be a fun run you want to compete in, a distance you want to run, or the number of times you want to work out consistently a week.</p> <p><strong>2. Set a deadline</strong></p> <p>Every good goal needs a deadline, so think about yours. Maybe make this next one for the end of winter and then re-evaluate from there.</p> <p><strong>3. Join a class</strong></p> <p>Sometimes it’s hard to motivate yourself, but if you know you’re supposed to be somewhere (and that people are expecting you), you’re more likely to feel bad for not going. Join a local dance class, cycling group or even a sporting club.</p> <p><strong>4. Reward yourself</strong></p> <p>It can’t be all work and no play. Develop a reward system for yourself. Perhaps you can’t reach for that slice of cake until you’ve gone for your evening run. No run equals no sugary treat!</p> <p><strong>5. Buy new workout clothes</strong></p> <p>Are you still wearing your three quarter length tights with a flimsy cardigan, wondering how on earth you will l brave the chill? Invest in good quality work out gear that will keep you warm. Particularly focus on thick, long pants or tights and a bright coloured vest to keep your torso warm.</p> <p>How do you stay motivated to exercise during the winter? Let us know in the comments below.</p> <p><strong>Related links:</strong></p> <p><a href="/health/body/2016/06/top-tips-for-safe-winter-running/"><strong><em><span style="text-decoration: underline;">5 top tips for safe winter running</span></em></strong></a></p> <p><a href="/health/body/2016/06/expert-tips-for-planning-your-cycling-trip/"><strong><em><span style="text-decoration: underline;">5 expert tips for planning your cycling trip</span></em></strong></a></p> <p><a href="/health/body/2016/06/80-year-old-grandma-is-oldest-female-bodybuilder-in-world/"><strong><em><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Is this 80-year-old the world's fittest grandma?</span></em></strong></a></p>

Body

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8 simple ways to remain positive

<p>When it seems as though you cannot escape a negative point of view, whether due to interior or exterior sources, it can be very easy to get caught up in the downward spiral. Staying positive, proactive and present becomes difficult and you may wonder if you’ll ever find your missing in action motivation. Fortunately a few small changes can be all that’s needed to shift your energy from the negative to the positive and place you firmly on the up and up again.</p> <p><strong>Work on your responses </strong></p> <p>You can’t always control what happens to you in life, but you can control the way you respond to it. Focusing on what you can control and learning to let go of the rest is key to avoiding a dip in positivity and motivation.</p> <p><strong>Find tangible positivity </strong></p> <p>When the going gets rough, call in some tried and tested troops. Books, audio tracks, even artworks can all have a strong impact on your emotions. Finding resources that uplift and inspire can help shift your mindset even when you’re struggling to see outside of your current situation.</p> <p><strong>Learn from your mistakes </strong></p> <p>It’s human nature to make mistakes. What ends up frustrating us is when we make them again and again (and again). Put a stop to the cycle by learning from your errors and allowing yourself to move forward. Evaluate exactly where you went wrong and devise a way of preventing it from happening again.</p> <p><strong>Plan to succeed </strong></p> <p>“Failing to plan is planning to fail.” The old adage is on the right track. Nothing feels less productive than flailing around without anything tangible to anchor to. A written agenda or to-do list provides a concrete document that can spark your motivation and creativity.</p> <p><strong>Celebrate the little things </strong></p> <p>Many of us ‘save’ our celebrations for the major events in life. While celebrating the significant milestones are important, it is just as crucial to recognise all the small accomplishments that get you closer to your goals. This helps us to feel the value in what we’ve done and in turn, stay motivated. Rewards don’t have to be huge or extravagant either. Treating yourself to a meal at a favourite restaurant, a dessert date or a new book or magazine are all easy, cost effective ways to acknowledge the small stuff.</p> <p><strong>Build a support team </strong></p> <p>If your motivation is waning the chances are good that others are feeling the same way. Connecting with them, sharing your feelings and brainstorming ways to keep moving forward is one of the best ways to not only form a plan but give a shot of positivity and understanding to your mindset.</p> <p><strong>Don’t underestimate blatant positivity </strong></p> <p>Positive affirmations, spoken or printed can sometimes get a bit of a bad wrap. Words however are powerful and reading/speaking certain phrases regularly can help embed them in your mind and attitude. Choose a favourite and display it prominently. Whenever you pass by, say it out loud. It’ll soon become a habit and you may be surprised by the changes it helps yield.</p> <p><strong>Have an attitude of expectancy </strong></p> <p>Waking up expecting doom and gloom is never going to put a spring in your step for the day ahead. Even if you wake up feeling flat, try focusing on a single thing that you have to look forward to that day. If you can’t come up with anything, simply even further and focus on the idea that you expect something positive to happen in the day ahead. What form it will take may not be known but you’re placing the intention out there to help guide you out of the fog.</p> <p><strong>Related links:</strong></p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><em><a href="http://www.oversixty.co.nz/health/mind/2015/12/positive-thinking-and-mental-health/">Can positive thinking improve your mental health?</a></em></strong></span></p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><em><a href="http://www.oversixty.co.nz/health/mind/2015/11/expert-tips-to-stress-less/">5 expert-approved ways to stress less</a></em></strong></span></p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><em><a href="http://www.oversixty.co.nz/lifestyle/relationships/2016/01/bad-habits-that-ruin-relationships/">4 bad habits that will destroy your relationship</a></em></strong></span></p>

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