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Motorist fined $387 for "handling wallet" while driving

<p>A motorist has collapsed after receiving a fine for $387, in which the fine claims he was holding his phone while driving. </p> <p>Sydney man Husni Tarmizi opened the infringement notice with his 62-year-old dad on Tuesday and admitted he was both "surprised" and "panicked" by the fine, leaving Husni to pick his father up off the floor after he collapsed from shock. </p> <p>Husni was confused by the fine, which also cost his dad 10 demerit points, as his father is rarely on his phone, and decided to take a closer look at the image captured by the mobile detection camera. </p> <p>"I went to the computer and downloaded the image and I could see clearly that it's a wallet [in his hand], you can see his phone is in the cradle," he told <a href="https://au.news.yahoo.com/driver-fined-387-and-cops-10-demerit-points-for-handling-wallet-while-driving-073557336.html" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><em>Yahoo News</em></a>.</p> <p>"In his left hand you can see the wallet and his right hand he's holding a $50 bill."</p> <p>Husni continued, "He was quite panicked, especially with the 10 demerit points... and I was scared a bit because he has a heart condition."</p> <p>The 62-year-old man said he recalls holding onto his wallet and the $50 note to pay for petrol over the Easter long weekend, which explains the hefty loss of demerit points.</p> <p>Tarmizi confirmed he has already appealed the infringement and is awaiting a response after people urged him to dispute it.</p> <p>"I've also written an appeal, it's called a review request, we'll see how that goes," he said.</p> <p>"For the older generation where they don't understand the technologies and stuff, it's scary."</p> <p><em>Image credits: Husni Tarmizi</em></p>

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Beyond the spin, beyond the handouts, here’s how to get a handle on what’s really happening on budget night

<div class="theconversation-article-body"><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/peter-martin-682709">Peter Martin</a>, <em><a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/crawford-school-of-public-policy-australian-national-university-3292">Crawford School of Public Policy, Australian National University</a></em></p> <p>Three weeks from now, some of us will be presented with a <a href="https://budget.gov.au/">mountain</a> of budget papers, and just about all of us will get to hear about them on radio, TV or news websites on budget night.</p> <p>The quickest way to find out what the budget is really doing will be to listen to the treasurer’s speech, or to peruse online the aptly-named “<a href="https://treasury.infoservices.com.au/page/budget2023">glossy</a>” – a document that last year was titled “<a href="https://archive.budget.gov.au/2023-24/overview/download/budget_overview.pdf">Stronger foundations for a better future</a>”.</p> <figure class="align-right zoomable"><a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/589444/original/file-20240422-23-vkinrm.png?ixlib=rb-4.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/589444/original/file-20240422-23-vkinrm.png?ixlib=rb-4.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=237&fit=clip" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/589444/original/file-20240422-23-vkinrm.png?ixlib=rb-4.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=848&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/589444/original/file-20240422-23-vkinrm.png?ixlib=rb-4.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=848&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/589444/original/file-20240422-23-vkinrm.png?ixlib=rb-4.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=848&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/589444/original/file-20240422-23-vkinrm.png?ixlib=rb-4.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=1066&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/589444/original/file-20240422-23-vkinrm.png?ixlib=rb-4.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=1066&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/589444/original/file-20240422-23-vkinrm.png?ixlib=rb-4.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=1066&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" alt="Cover of 2023 budget glossy" /></a><figcaption><span class="caption">Glossies are used to make each budget attractive.</span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://archive.budget.gov.au/2023-24/overview/download/budget_overview.pdf">Commonwealth Treasury</a></span></figcaption></figure> <p>But they will tell you exactly what the government wants you to hear, exactly as it wants you to hear it.</p> <p>If you are looking instead for the truth – what the government is actually trying to achieve and what it is holding itself and its officials to, I would suggest something else, tucked away on about page <a href="https://cdn.theconversation.com/static_files/files/3225/8787.pdf">87</a> of the main budget document.</p> <p>It is required by the <a href="https://www.legislation.gov.au/C2004A05333/latest/text">Charter of Budget Honesty Act</a> introduced in 1998 by Peter Costello, the treasurer under Prime Minister John Howard.</p> <p>On taking office in 1996, Costello set up a <a href="https://webarchive.nla.gov.au/awa/20101119021633/http://www.finance.gov.au/archive/archive-of-publications/ncoa/execsum.htm">National Commission of Audit</a> to examine the finances he had inherited from the Hawke and Keating governments, presumably with an eye to discovering they had been mismanaged.</p> <p>But the members of the commission weren’t much interested in that. Instead, they decided to deal with something more fundamental.</p> <h2>Budget as you wish, but explain your strategy</h2> <p>Governments were perfectly entitled to manage money in whatever way they wanted, and they were perfectly entitled to spend more money than they raised (which they usually do, it’s called a <a href="https://www.investopedia.com/terms/d/deficit.asp">budget deficit</a>).</p> <p>What the commission wanted was for governments to make clear what they were doing, and to spell out the strategy behind it.</p> <p>Only part of it was about being upfront with the public. The commission also wanted governments to be upfront with themselves – to actually develop frameworks for what they were doing, rather than doing whatever they felt like.</p> <p>The commission recommended a <a href="https://webarchive.nla.gov.au/awa/20101119021633/http://www.finance.gov.au/archive/archive-of-publications/ncoa/execsum.htm">Charter of Budget Honesty</a>, which among other things requires officials to prepare independent assessments of the finances before each election, requires budget updates six months after each budget, and requires <a href="https://www.aph.gov.au/About_Parliament/Parliamentary_Departments/Parliamentary_Library/pubs/BriefingBook45p/TaxExpenditures">tax expenditures</a> (tax breaks) to be accounted for like other expenditures.</p> <p>And it requires the publication and regular updating of a <a href="https://cdn.theconversation.com/static_files/files/3227/CBH_Fiscal_strategy.pdf">fiscal strategy statement</a>.</p> <h2>Where treasurers hold themselves accountable</h2> <p>The <a href="https://cdn.theconversation.com/static_files/files/3225/8787.pdf">fiscal strategy</a> can be thought of as an exam question set by the student who is being examined – something along the lines of “this is what you say you want your budget to achieve, please set out the means by which you plan to achieve it”.</p> <p>It turns out to have been exceptionally effective in getting governments to organise their thoughts, make budgets at least try to achieve something, and let the rest of us know what they are trying to achieve.</p> <p>Every few years, treasurers change the strategy, as is their right. Treasurer Jim Chalmers says he’ll change it again this budget, to de-emphasise the fight against inflation and to more greatly emphasise the need to <a href="https://ministers.treasury.gov.au/ministers/jim-chalmers-2022/transcripts/press-conference-washington-dc-0">support economic growth</a>.</p> <p>His statement will tell us what’s behind his actions in a way the glossy words in his brochure and speech might not.</p> <h2>The strategy that has signposted 26 years</h2> <p>Previous statements have signposted all the important turns in what the budget is trying to do.</p> <p>The first, in <a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/589686/original/file-20240423-16-rncqg3.PNG">1998</a>, committed Costello and Howard to achieving a budget surplus on average over the economic cycle and whenever “growth prospects remain sound”.</p> <p>Making that commitment more difficult was another “not to introduce new taxes or raise existing taxes over the term of this parliament”.</p> <p>Two years later, after the government had won an election promising a new goods and services tax, that commitment was <a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/589692/original/file-20240423-18-q843xn.PNG">changed</a> to “no increase in the overall tax burden from its 1996-97 level”, a condition met by calling the GST a state tax.</p> <h2>Hockey and Morrison wound back spending</h2> <p>The Labor budgets from 2008 <a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/589702/original/file-20240423-18-mikx6f.PNG">loosened</a> the tax target to the <em>average</em> share of GDP below the reference year, which they changed to the higher-tax year of 2007-08.</p> <p>The first Coalition budget under Treasurer Joe Hockey in 2014 changed the target from tax to spending, pledging to bring down the ratio of <a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/589705/original/file-20240423-16-9spkdy.PNG">payments to GDP</a>, and pledging a surplus of 1% of GDP by 2023-24.</p> <p>Any new spending would be more than offset by cuts elsewhere, and if the budget did receive a burst of unexpected revenue it would be “banked” rather than spent.</p> <p>In 2018 Treasurer Scott Morrison reintroduced tax as a target, that he spelled out precisely. Tax was not to increase beyond <a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/589706/original/file-20240423-16-b7gj5d.PNG">23.9%</a> of GDP.</p> <h2>During COVID, Frydenberg spent big</h2> <p>In 2020, in the face of a COVID-induced recession and soaring unemployment, Finance Minister Mathias Cormann and Treasurer Josh Frydenberg pushed the old strategy to one side.</p> <p>They would spend big now to keep the economy afloat so they wouldn’t have to spend more bailing it out later, and they wouldn’t return to their old concern about the deficit until the unemployment rate was “<a href="https://cdn.theconversation.com/static_files/files/3228/fs2020.pdf">comfortably below 6%</a>”.</p> <p>So well did they succeed that in 2021 Frydenberg made the momentous decision to keep going, abandoning the promise to return to worrying about the deficit when unemployment fell below 6%.</p> <p>Instead he promised to keep spending big until unemployment was “<a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/589709/original/file-20240423-16-9pmpaf.PNG">back to pre-crisis levels or lower</a>”.</p> <p>The decision propelled unemployment down to a 50-year low of <a href="https://www.datawrapper.de/_/wPfXO/">3.5%</a>.</p> <p>Along with high iron ore prices, that one change of strategy has probably helped deliver Chalmers two consecutive budget surpluses – the one he announced last year for 2022-23, and the one he is set to announce this year for 2023-24. More of us have been in jobs <a href="https://www.finance.gov.au/publications/commonwealth-monthly-financial-statements/2024/mfs-january">paying tax</a>, and fewer have been out of jobs <a href="https://theconversation.com/half-a-million-more-australians-on-welfare-not-unless-you-double-count-227342">on benefits</a>.</p> <p>It’s a powerful demonstration of the real-world difference budget decisions can make, and the way in which the <a href="https://cdn.theconversation.com/static_files/files/3225/8787.pdf">fiscal strategy</a> tells the story.<!-- Below is The Conversation's page counter tag. Please DO NOT REMOVE. --><img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/228387/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /><!-- End of code. If you don't see any code above, please get new code from the Advanced tab after you click the republish button. The page counter does not collect any personal data. More info: https://theconversation.com/republishing-guidelines --></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/peter-martin-682709">Peter Martin</a>, Visiting Fellow, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/crawford-school-of-public-policy-australian-national-university-3292">Crawford School of Public Policy, Australian National University</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/beyond-the-spin-beyond-the-handouts-heres-how-to-get-a-handle-on-whats-really-happening-on-budget-night-228387">original article</a>.</em></p> </div>

Money & Banking

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How do I handle it if my parent is refusing aged care? 4 things to consider

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/lee-fay-low-98311">Lee-Fay Low</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-sydney-841">University of Sydney</a></em></p> <p>It’s a shock when we realise our parents aren’t managing well at home.</p> <p>Perhaps the house and garden are looking more chaotic, and Mum or Dad are relying more on snacks than nutritious meals. Maybe their grooming or hygiene has declined markedly, they are socially isolated or not doing the things they used to enjoy. They may be losing weight, have had a fall, aren’t managing their medications correctly, and are at risk of getting scammed.</p> <p>You’re worried and you want them to be safe and healthy. You’ve tried to talk to them about aged care but been met with swift refusal and an indignant declaration “I don’t need help – everything is fine!” Now what?</p> <p>Here are four things to consider.</p> <h2>1. Start with more help at home</h2> <p>Getting help and support at home can help keep Mum or Dad well and comfortable without them needing to move.</p> <p>Consider drawing up a roster of family and friends visiting to help with shopping, cleaning and outings. You can also use home aged care services – or a combination of both.</p> <p>Government subsidised home care services provide from one to 13 hours of care a week. You can get more help if you are a veteran or are able to pay privately. You can take advantage of things like rehabilitation, fall risk-reduction programs, personal alarms, stove automatic switch-offs and other technology aimed at increasing safety.</p> <p>Call <a href="https://www.myagedcare.gov.au/">My Aged Care</a> to discuss your options.</p> <h2>2. Be prepared for multiple conversations</h2> <p>Getting Mum or Dad to accept paid help can be tricky. Many families often have multiple conversations around aged care before a decision is made.</p> <p>Ideally, the older person feels supported rather than attacked during these conversations.</p> <p>Some families have a meeting, so everyone is coming together to help. In other families, certain family members or friends might be better placed to have these conversations – perhaps the daughter with the health background, or the auntie or GP who Mum trusts more to provide good advice.</p> <p>Mum or Dad’s main emotional support person should try to maintain their relationship. It’s OK to get someone else (like the GP, the hospital or an adult child) to play “bad cop”, while a different person (such as the older person’s spouse, or a different adult child) plays “good cop”.</p> <h2>3. Understand the options when help at home isn’t enough</h2> <p>If you have maximised home support and it’s not enough, or if the hospital won’t discharge Mum or Dad without extensive supports, then you may be <a href="https://academic.oup.com/gerontologist/article/60/8/1504/5863160">considering a nursing home</a> (also known as residential aged care in Australia).</p> <p>Every person has a legal right to <a href="https://humanrights.gov.au/our-work/9-your-right-choose-where-you-live">choose where we live</a> (unless they have lost capacity to make that decision).</p> <p>This means families can’t put Mum or Dad into residential aged care against their will. Every person also has the right to choose to take risks. People can choose to continue to live at home, even if it means they might not get help immediately if they fall, or eat poorly. We should respect Mum or Dad’s decisions, even if we disagree with them. Researchers call this “dignity of risk”.</p> <p>It’s important to understand Mum or Dad’s point of view. Listen to them. Try to figure out what they are feeling, and what they are worried might happen (which might not be rational).</p> <p>Try to understand what’s really important to their quality of life. Is it the dog, having privacy in their safe space, seeing grandchildren and friends, or something else?</p> <p>Older people are often understandably concerned about losing independence, losing control, and having strangers in their personal space.</p> <p>Sometimes families prioritise physical health over psychological wellbeing. But we need to consider both when considering nursing home admission.</p> <p><a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9826495/">Research</a> suggests going into a nursing home temporarily increases loneliness, risk of depression and anxiety, and sense of losing control.</p> <p>Mum and Dad should be involved in the decision-making process about where they live, and when they might move.</p> <p>Some families start looking “just in case” as it often takes some time to <a href="https://www.abc.net.au/everyday/questions-to-ask-when-choosing-an-aged-care-home-for-a-loved-one/10302590">find the right nursing home</a> and there can be a wait.</p> <p>After you have your top two or three choices, take Mum or Dad to visit them. If this is not possible, take pictures of the rooms, the public areas in the nursing home, the menu and the activities schedule.</p> <p>We should give Mum or Dad information about their options and risks so they can make informed (and hopefully better) decisions.</p> <p>For instance, if they visit a nursing home and the manager says they can go on outings whenever they want, this might dispel a belief they are “locked up”.</p> <p>Having one or two weeks “respite” in a home may let them try it out before making the big decision about staying permanently. And if they find the place unacceptable, they can try another nursing home instead.</p> <h2>4. Understand the options if a parent has lost capacity to make decisions</h2> <p>If Mum or Dad have lost capacity to choose where they live, family may be able to make that decision in their best interests.</p> <p>If it’s not clear whether a person has capacity to make a particular decision, a medical practitioner can assess for that capacity.</p> <p>Mum or Dad may have appointed an <a href="https://www.tag.nsw.gov.au/wills/appoint-enduring-guardian/what-enduring-guardian">enduring guardian</a> to make decisions about their health and lifestyle decisions when they are not able to.</p> <p>An enduring guardian can make the decision that the person should live in residential aged care, if the person no longer has the capacity to make that decision themselves.</p> <p>If Mum or Dad didn’t appoint an enduring guardian, and have lost capacity, then a court or tribunal can <a href="https://www.tag.nsw.gov.au/guardianship/information-about-guardianship">appoint</a> that person a private guardian (usually a family member, close friend or unpaid carer).</p> <p>If no such person is available to act as private guardian, a public official may be appointed as public guardian.</p> <h2>Deal with your own feelings</h2> <p>Families often feel <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s12144-023-04538-9">guilt and grief</a> during the decision-making and transition process.</p> <p>Families need to act in the best interest of Mum or Dad, but also balance other caring responsibilities, financial priorities and their own wellbeing.<!-- Below is The Conversation's page counter tag. Please DO NOT REMOVE. --><img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/221210/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /><!-- End of code. If you don't see any code above, please get new code from the Advanced tab after you click the republish button. The page counter does not collect any personal data. More info: https://theconversation.com/republishing-guidelines --></p> <p><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/lee-fay-low-98311"><em>Lee-Fay Low</em></a><em>, Professor in Ageing and Health, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-sydney-841">University of Sydney</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images </em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/how-do-i-handle-it-if-my-parent-is-refusing-aged-care-4-things-to-consider-221210">original article</a>.</em></p>

Caring

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Solemnity and celebration: how political cartoonists have handled the death of a monarch, from Victoria to Elizabeth II

<p>It sounds very familiar – a well-respected monarch dies, and a radical, left-leaning, Antipodean cartoonist struggles to find the right tone to commemorate the event. </p> <p>He is torn between his distaste for what he sees as the archaic, pre-modern institution of monarchy, and the undoubted personal quality of the late incumbent. </p> <p>More used to poking fun at the great and good, or attacking governments for their weak-willed or wrong-headed policies, changing tone to reverence and respect is difficult. </p> <p>But in the end, he manages to strike a very good balance and produce a memorable cartoon.</p> <p>The well-respected monarch was George VI; the radical, left-leaning, Antipodean cartoonist was <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Low_(cartoonist)">David Low</a>; and the year was 1952. With <a href="https://archive.cartoons.ac.uk/Record.aspx?src=CalmView.Catalog&amp;id=LSE8008">From One Man to Another</a>, Low not only conveyed his own respects, man-to-man, but imagined also the British workman, his hat in his hand and sleeves rolled-up, casting a humble bunch of flowers towards a mighty tombstone labelled “The Gentlest of the Georges”. </p> <p>This was an expression of democratic – even socialist – sensibility, in an age when monarchy seemed, to many, to be increasingly out-of-step with the advance of modernity and the inexorable march of post-war history.</p> <p>Low was compelled to look back, not forward, conscious he had an historic role to fulfil in commemorating the passing of the king who had embodied so much of the stolid, British pluck and humility during the second world war. </p> <p>He reflected <a href="https://archive.org/details/lowsautobiograph017633mbp/page/n225/mode/2up">in his 1956 autobiography</a> that he hated the old-fashioned, “The Nation Mourns”-style of Victorian cartoon, but it was to that set of images and traditions that he turned.</p> <h2>A long lineage</h2> <p>Cartoonists have had to do something similar in 2022, with the death of Queen Elizabeth II. </p> <p>In the United Kingdom, the likes of <a href="https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/peter-brookes-times-cartoon-september-9-2022-vzfhf606t">Peter Brookes</a>, <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/picture/2022/sep/08/ben-jennings-on-the-death-of-the-queen-cartoon">Ben Jennings</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/Adamstoon1/status/1567968191934271489">Christian Adams</a> have all been conscious of the need for solemnity, as well as celebration.</p> <blockquote class="twitter-tweet"> <p dir="ltr" lang="cy"><a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/QueenElizabeth?src=hash&amp;ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#QueenElizabeth</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/QueenElizabethII?src=hash&amp;ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#QueenElizabethII</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/queen?src=hash&amp;ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#queen</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/Queen?src=hash&amp;ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#Queen</a> Elizabeth II <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/Rest?src=hash&amp;ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#Rest</a> In Peace <a href="https://twitter.com/EveningStandard?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">@EveningStandard</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/cartoon?src=hash&amp;ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#cartoon</a> <a href="https://t.co/bzEcwRlaEb">pic.twitter.com/bzEcwRlaEb</a></p> <p>— Christian Adams (@Adamstoon1) <a href="https://twitter.com/Adamstoon1/status/1567968191934271489?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 8, 2022</a></p></blockquote> <p>Across the world, cartoonists have had to struggle with much the same thing, and some favoured themes are already apparent: <a href="https://www.electriccitymagazine.ca/touching-cartoon-salute-depicting-the-queen-reuniting-with-prince-philip-and-paddington-bear/">Elizabeth reunited</a> with her husband, the Duke of Edinburgh, or troops of <a href="https://twitter.com/BennettCartoons/status/1568017878225682433">sad corgis</a>; the Union Flag with an Elizabeth II-shaped hole at the centre; or a tube train with a sole occupant heading into a blaze of light at the end of the tunnel.</p> <blockquote class="twitter-tweet"> <p dir="ltr" lang="cy">9/9/2022- Queen Elizabeth II <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/Elizabeth?src=hash&amp;ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#Elizabeth</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/ElizabethII?src=hash&amp;ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#ElizabethII</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/QueenElizabeth?src=hash&amp;ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#QueenElizabeth</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/RestInPeace?src=hash&amp;ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#RestInPeace</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/RestInPeaceQueenElizabeth?src=hash&amp;ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#RestInPeaceQueenElizabeth</a> <a href="https://t.co/evcXLHfcgm">https://t.co/evcXLHfcgm</a> <a href="https://t.co/wg7B9k7WSW">pic.twitter.com/wg7B9k7WSW</a></p> <p>— Clay Bennett (@BennettCartoons) <a href="https://twitter.com/BennettCartoons/status/1568017878225682433?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 8, 2022</a></p></blockquote> <p>All of these images speak to the style and the visual language of today, but also share a lineage several centuries old. </p> <h2>A bereaved widow, again</h2> <p>Nobody would have thought to depict Queen Victoria’s death in 1901 with her travelling to heaven by tube, although the Underground seems emblematic of her age (London’s first underground railway was <a href="https://tfl.gov.uk/corporate/about-tfl/culture-and-heritage/londons-transport-a-history/london-underground/a-brief-history-of-the-underground">opened in January 1863</a>, 26 years into Victoria’s reign). </p> <p>There were no sad corgis (that breed only became associated with the Royal Family <a href="https://www.abc.net.au/news/2022-09-12/queen-elizabeth-ii-loved-corgi-dogs-throughout-her-life/101428106">from the 1930s</a>), but a downcast British Lion was imagined by Francis Carruthers Gould in <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fun_(magazine)">Fun</a>.</p> <p>The theme of a bereaved widow finally reunited with her spouse is clearly a parallel (Albert, the Prince Consort had died in 1861). So too is the very idea that a cartoonist should commemorate the event – something unthinkable when William IV died in 1837, or so much so when George IV died in 1830 that a well-known cartoonist <a href="https://www.britishmuseum.org/collection/object/P_1882-1209-677">never published his draft sketch</a>.</p> <p>The sheer immensity of the loss of Victoria called for some pretty special treatment, at a time when cartooning was a lot more formal and respectable than it is today. </p> <p>It preoccupied several days’ work for Linley Sambourne, chief cartoonist of London’s <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Punch_(magazine)">Punch</a> (for a while, a magazine that was almost as much a British institution as the monarchy).</p> <p>Requiescat was huge: a double-page spread in sombre black-and-white, depicting a gaggle of goddesses in mourning for their lost monarch. </p> <p>Allegorical female figures representing countries were all the rage in Victorian and Edwardian cartooning (something David Low also hated and thought was “moth-eaten” by the time he was at his peak). </p> <p>England, Scotland, Wales, Australia, New Zealand, Canada and India were all included by Sambourne. </p> <p>Just one goddess was enough for his junior colleague, Bernard Partridge, who imagined <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clio">Clio</a> – History herself – adding the name of Victoria to the roll of great monarchs.</p> <p>It was the same when Victoria’s son and heir, Edward VII, died in May, 1910. </p> <p>Bernard Partridge went with just two figures, rather than a whole host, imagining a weeping Britannia seated before the empty Coronation Chair, an angel of peace reaching out to touch her shoulder.</p> <p>This was designed to express “an empire’s grief” in terms even more explicit than Sambourne had done with Victoria, but the imagery was very British; even domestic. </p> <p>Minus the caption, it could almost be recycled in 2022 - crucially, the monarch does not actually appear. So too, Partridge’s offering in January 1936, when George V died (apparently by the <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2017/mar/29/king-george-v-was-murdered-not-euthanised">hand of his doctor</a>).</p> <p>Britannia tolling a bell from a medieval bell-tower, with a fog-laden London skyline in the background. Clear the fog, add a Gherkin and a Shard, and the effect would be much the same.</p> <p>While David Low struggled against the Victorian style of memorial cartoon, it is still very much with us. As so often, cartoons can encapsulate a whole host of feelings that mere words can’t express.</p> <p><em>Image credits: Twitter @toonsbystellina</em></p> <p><em>This article originally appeared on <a href="https://theconversation.com/solemnity-and-celebration-how-political-cartoonists-have-handled-the-death-of-a-monarch-from-victoria-to-elizabeth-ii-190338" target="_blank" rel="noopener">The Conversation</a>. </em></p>

Art

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How should we handle death?

<div class="copy"><p>Much of the world’s resources, efforts and expertise of the past century have been put into avoiding death. But a multidisciplinary team of researchers is asking if this is the best approach – whether, instead of “overmedicalising” death, societies should prioritise a reduction in suffering.</p><p>The <em>Lancet</em> Commission on the Value of Death is an interdisciplinary team of experts in healthcare, economics, philosophy, theology and community work, alongside community activists. In a <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/S0140-6736(21)02314-X" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">report published today</a>, the Commission has called for a worldwide change of attitudes towards death.</p><p>“While many people are overtreated in hospitals with families and communities relegated to the margins, still more remain undertreated, dying of preventable conditions and without access to basic pain relief,” the report opens.</p><p>This has been exacerbated by COVID-19. “People have died the ultimate medicalised deaths, often alone but for masked staff in hospitals and intensive care units, unable to communicate with family except electronically,” the report reads.</p><p>The researchers outline five principles to improve the value and process of death:</p><ol type="1"><li>Death, dying and grieving must be made more equitable: all people should be able to lead healthier lives and die more comfortable deaths.</li><li>The relational and spiritual process of death must be recognised in addition to the medical event, to allow for better care.</li><li>Families and wider community members should be more heavily involved in caring for the dying, alongside professionals.</li><li>Public conversations and debate about death and grief should be encouraged.</li><li>Death should be recognised as having value.</li></ol><p>To achieve these principles, the researchers believe there should be clear education on death, palliative care, and interventions for people at the end of life, their families, and professionals.</p><p>They also advocate for increased access to pain relief around the world, more public conversations on death, empowerment of networks of care, and government support for informal carers through payments and provision of compassionate leave.</p><p>The report highlights parts of the world that have more effectively pursued some of these targets – such as Kerala, in India, which has benefited from a community-based palliative care model over the past three decades.</p><p>“Death is a part of life, and [it] gives meaning and shape to the experience of living,” says Professor Jennifer Tieman, a researcher in palliative and supportive services at Flinders University, who was not involved in production of the report.</p><p>“It is clear that medicine and public health initiatives have extended our individual and collective lifespans, but there are implications and associations for such a rapid and profound set of changes.”</p><p>Tieman says that the report “is a narrative reminding us that death is not owned by medicine but is a dynamic system of people, types of knowledge, history, beliefs and attitudes, as well as systems and processes. The system is not static but shaped by all the elements in the system and by disruptions external to the system, such as COVID.”</p><p>Dr Kasia Bail, an associate professor in nursing at the University of Canberra, says that the report’s recommendations on relational care are “very idealistic rather than pragmatic”, because of the way care is funded.</p><div class="newsletter-box"><div id="wpcf7-f6-p180839-o1" class="wpcf7" dir="ltr" lang="en-US" role="form"><p><span class="wpcf7-form-control-wrap referer-page"></span></p><!-- Chimpmail extension by Renzo Johnson --></div></div><p>“Investment in <em>care</em> is the social and financial challenge, whether dying care or otherwise,” says Bail.</p><p>“Aged care investment and valuing care workers is really indicative of our cultural tolerance for this – we tolerate really low pay, even if we say they do important work.”</p><p>A paradigm shift is required in funding, as well as in attitudes towards care and death.</p><p>“Relational care is a beautiful concept,” says Bail. “But the compaction of care into small episodes funded on interventions and procedures is completely in contrast to this.”</p><p>Tieman says that the Australian attitude to death reflects that of many other developed countries.</p><p>“In Australia, there is a growing understanding of the need for death literacy; the importance of inclusion, equity and access; the role of the family and community that wraps around the person at the end of life; and the ability to hold essential conversations,” says Tieman.</p><p>She cites an <a href="https://www.caresearch.com.au/tabid/6479/Default.aspx" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">open online course</a> she’s involved in as an example of this.</p><p>Bail points out that in Australia, despite efforts to the contrary, access to palliative care is linked to wealth, race, illness and location.</p><p>“Health professionals are often well able to support patients if they are on the standard factory line of treatment, but have difficulty following patient preferences if they are outside the ‘norm’ or ‘guidelines’ associated with active treatment,” says Bail.</p><p>“Palliative and supportive care clinicians are really skilled at navigating the space in between, but are often included too late, and are under-resourced to be able to meet the volume of need for earlier conversations.”</p><p>“The Commission report reminds us that without a realignment, we will miss the opportunity to see death as our last human experience,” says Tieman.</p><p>“A lack of familiarity with death and dying can mean we unintentionally exclude those who are dying, caring and grieving because we do not acknowledge them and facilitate their participation in the workplace, in our community and in society.”</p><p><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p><em><!-- Start of tracking content syndication. Please do not remove this section as it allows us to keep track of republished articles --> <img id="cosmos-post-tracker" style="height: 1px!important;width: 1px!important;border: 0!important" src="https://syndication.cosmosmagazine.com/?id=180839&amp;title=How+should+we+handle+death%3F" width="1" height="1" /> <!-- End of tracking content syndication --></em></div><div id="contributors"><p><em>This article was originally published on <a href="https://cosmosmagazine.com/people/culture/death-dying-overmedicalising-care-lancet-report/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">cosmosmagazine.com</a> and was written by Ellen Phiddian. </em></p></div>

Mind

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Lisa Wilkinson describes Australia’s handling of COVID-19 as a “bin fire”

<p dir="ltr"><em>The Project<span> </span></em>host Lisa Wilkinson has described Australia’s handling of COVID-19 as a “bin fire”, particularly when compared to New Zealand’s.</p> <p dir="ltr">New Zealand Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern announced tougher restrictions from midnight Sunday in an effort to combat the growing spread of the Omicron variant, moving the nation to an alert level of red.</p> <p dir="ltr">The new restrictions mean that household close contacts may be forced to isolate for 24 days, while anyone with Covid must isolate for 14 days. While lockdowns are no longer a possibility, masks are mandatory on public transport, in retail environments, and for children above grade four in schools. In addition, there are capacity limits on retail, and hospitality and gym venues, as well as weddings, can have up to 100 people.</p> <p dir="ltr">The government has stated, however, that if the new restrictions don’t stop the spread, then it will change the rules and stop trying to prevent every case.</p> <p dir="ltr">Meanwhile, Australia has embraced a much more laid back approach, which some have described as “letting it rip”.</p> <p dir="ltr">Ardern even confirmed the cancellation of her own wedding, announcing, “My wedding will not be going ahead, but I just joined many other New Zealanders who have had an experience like that as a result of the pandemic.</p> <p dir="ltr">“And to anyone who’s caught up in that scenario, I’m so sorry. Such is life.”</p> <p dir="ltr">WIlkinson was amazed at New Zealand’s new rules, exclaiming, “Wowee – 24 days! If that doesn’t give you an indication that Jacinda Ardern has looked across the ‘ditch’ at our bin fire and gone, ‘Not doing that!’ Wow!”</p> <p dir="ltr">Ardern said of New Zealand’s approach, “Our plan for managing Omicron in the early stage remains the same as Delta, where we will rapidly test, contact trace and isolate cases and contacts.”</p> <p dir="ltr">Director General of Health Dr Ashley Bloomfield said, “We’ve just gone back up to that in light of Omicron and to help with managing the spread in this early stage. We think we still have a good opportunity to potentially stamp it out or really reduce the Omicron transmission.</p> <p dir="ltr">“Because it is Omicron we have taken an approach at this point in time where we are isolating contacts of close contacts initially until those close contacts return that negative day five test, then those second tier group of contacts can go about their normal day.”</p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Image: The Project</em></p>

News

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5 food safety tips for proper food handling

<p>Get up to speed about the proper way to handle food to minimise the risk of food poisoning.</p> <p>In light of recent food poisoning cases around the world – a salmonella outbreak in the US in June that sickened over 100 people was linked to contaminated pre-cut melons and several people in Australia died because of contaminated rockmelons in February – it is more important than ever to get up to speed about the right way to handle food.</p> <p>Closer to home, Malaysian and Singaporean netizens were shocked by a video that circulated on social media in June this year of staff at a Bangsar, KL, eatery <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3maABRgv8G4">washing plates in a dirty puddle</a>.</p> <p>Contamination can occur at several junctures, such as during the production of the food, the processing of raw materials, and even during the transport and display of the food.</p> <p>When a food product finally makes it to the kitchen, it is also in danger of cross contamination, which is the transfer of bacteria or viruses through the use of contaminated items such as knives or chopping boards.</p> <p>Be vigilant and adopt these 5 food safety tips to minimise the risk of food poisoning.</p> <p><strong>1. Picking up refrigerated and frozen items last</strong></p> <p>At the supermarket, pick up your refrigerated and frozen items last, just before you make your way to the checkout counter.</p> <p>Choose chilled items that have been properly packed without any tear in the packaging.</p> <p>If you are looking to shed some dollars from your grocery bill, try these <a href="https://www.readersdigest.com.au/money/Spend-Less-On-Groceries-With-These-19-Tricks-Savvy-Shoppers-Use">supermarket shopping hacks</a>.</p> <p><strong>2. Buy raw meats that have been properly displayed</strong></p> <p>Never buy chilled or frozen items that have been displayed at room temperature.</p> <p>If you do most of your grocery shopping at the wet market*, this is particularly important. Take note of how the raw seafood and meats are being displayed.</p> <p>Are they in a chiller? Is there sufficient ice packed around the items to ensure they’re stored at a safe temperature?</p> <p>Once you get your meat home, you still have to cook it, however. Try this version of a classic stroganoff that <a href="https://www.readersdigest.com.au/recipes/beef-and-mushroom-stroganoff">stretches a modest portion of meat</a>.</p> <p>* For those in Australia and New Zealand, the wet market is an Asian grocery store that sells fresh meat and produce.</p> <p><strong>3. Bringing the food home safely</strong></p> <p>Our hot and humid weather can provide extra challenges when it comes to keeping our food safe.</p> <p>If your journey home will take longer than 30 minutes, keep your chilled and frozen items in an insulated bag and make use of the free ice that is provided by some supermarkets to keep the items well chilled.</p> <p>Store the items in the fridge as quickly as possible.</p> <p>In light of recent food poisoning cases around the world – a salmonella outbreak in the US in June that sickened over 100 people was linked to contaminated pre-cut melons and several people in Australia died because of contaminated rockmelons in February – it is more important than ever to get up to speed about the right way to handle food.</p> <p>Closer to home, Malaysian and Singaporean netizens were shocked by a video that circulated on social media in June this year of staff at a Bangsar, KL, eatery <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3maABRgv8G4">washing plates in a dirty puddle</a>.</p> <p>Contamination can occur at several junctures, such as during the production of the food, the processing of raw materials, and even during the transport and display of the food.</p> <p>When a food product finally makes it to the kitchen, it is also in danger of cross contamination, which is the transfer of bacteria or viruses through the use of contaminated items such as knives or chopping boards.</p> <p>Be vigilant and adopt these 5 food safety tips to minimise the risk of food poisoning.</p> <p><strong><img style="width: 500px; height: 281.2903225806452px;" src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/7843907/food-handling-um.jpg" alt="" data-udi="umb://media/070f60984208487ea761a3e32e6bc07c" /></strong></p> <p><strong>4. Storing raw foods properly</strong></p> <p>Raw foods should be kept separate from cooked foods while in the fridge.</p> <p style="font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit;">Different types of raw foods (e.g., meat, eggs, vegetables) should also be kept separately from each other to avoid cross contamination.</p> <p style="font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit;">If you’re not planning to cook the meat in the next three to five days, it’s best to freeze it.</p> <p style="font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit;">Get the most out of your beef buy with these delicious and easy <a href="https://www.readersdigest.com.au/recipes/beef-skewers-ginger-dipping-sauce">beef skewers with ginger dipping sauce</a>.</p> <p style="font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit;"><strong>5. Avoid buying pre-cut fruits</strong></p> <p>If you’re concerned about the cases of contaminated pre-cut fruit, you may want to buy a whole fruit and cut it up yourself at home.</p> <p>Wash the fruit properly by rubbing it with your hands under running water.</p> <p>If you’re cutting it up, use a separate chopping board than the one you use for raw meat.</p> <p>In a race to eat all of your fruit purchases before they all spoil? <a href="https://www.readersdigest.com.au/kitchen-tips/how-to-preserve-fruit">Try bottling it as a preserve!</a></p> <p><em>By Siti Rohani</em></p> <p><em>Image: Getty Images and Max Pixel</em></p> <p><em>This article originally appeared on </em><a href="https://www.readersdigest.com.au/food-home-garden/5-food-safety-tips-proper-food-handling"><em>Reader’s Digest</em></a></p>

Home & Garden

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5 food safety tips for proper food handling

<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">In light of recent food poisoning cases around the world – a salmonella outbreak in the US in June that sickened over 100 people was linked to contaminated pre-cut melons and several people in Australia died because of contaminated rockmelons in February – it is more important than ever to get up to speed about the right way to handle food.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Closer to home, Malaysian and Singaporean netizens were shocked by a video that circulated on social media in June this year of staff at a Bangsar, KL, eatery </span><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3maABRgv8G4"><span style="font-weight: 400;">washing plates in a dirty puddle</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;">.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Contamination can occur at several junctures, such as during the production of the food, the processing of raw materials, and even during the transport and display of the food.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">When a food product finally makes it to the kitchen, it is also in danger of cross contamination, which is the transfer of bacteria or viruses through the use of contaminated items such as knives or chopping boards.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Be vigilant and adopt these 5 food safety tips to minimise the risk of food poisoning.</span></p> <p><strong>1. Picking up refrigerated and frozen items last</strong></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">At the supermarket, pick up your refrigerated and frozen items last, just before you make your way to the checkout counter.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Choose chilled items that have been properly packed without any tear in the packaging.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">If you are looking to shed some dollars from your grocery bill, try these </span><a href="https://www.readersdigest.com.au/money/Spend-Less-On-Groceries-With-These-19-Tricks-Savvy-Shoppers-Use"><span style="font-weight: 400;">supermarket shopping hacks</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;">.</span></p> <p><strong>2. Buy raw meats that have been properly displayed</strong></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Never buy chilled or frozen items that have been displayed at room temperature.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">If you do most of your grocery shopping at the wet market*, this is particularly important. Take note of how the raw seafood and meats are being displayed.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Are they in a chiller? Is there sufficient ice packed around the items to ensure they’re stored at a safe temperature?</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Once you get your meat home, you still have to cook it, however. Try this version of a classic stroganoff that </span><a href="https://www.readersdigest.com.au/recipes/beef-and-mushroom-stroganoff"><span style="font-weight: 400;">stretches a modest portion of meat</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;">.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">* For those in Australia and New Zealand, the wet market is an Asian grocery store that sells fresh meat and produce.</span></p> <p><strong>3. Bringing the food home safely</strong></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Our hot and humid weather can provide extra challenges when it comes to keeping our food safe.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">If your journey home will take longer than 30 minutes, keep your chilled and frozen items in an insulated bag and make use of the free ice that is provided by some supermarkets to keep the items well chilled.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Store the items in the fridge as quickly as possible.</span></p> <p><strong>4. Storing raw foods properly</strong></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Raw foods should be kept separate from cooked foods while in the fridge.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Different types of raw foods (e.g., meat, eggs, vegetables) should also be kept separately from each other to avoid cross contamination.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">If you’re not planning to cook the meat in the next three to five days, it’s best to freeze it.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Get the most out of your beef buy with these delicious and easy </span><a href="https://www.readersdigest.com.au/recipes/beef-skewers-ginger-dipping-sauce"><span style="font-weight: 400;">beef skewers with ginger dipping sauce</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;">.</span></p> <p><strong>5. Avoid buying pre-cut fruits</strong></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">If you’re concerned about the cases of contaminated pre-cut fruit, you may want to buy a whole fruit and cut it up yourself at home.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Wash the fruit properly by rubbing it with your hands under running water.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">If you’re cutting it up, use a separate chopping board than the one you use for raw meat.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">In a race to eat all of your fruit purchases before they all spoil? </span><a href="https://www.readersdigest.com.au/kitchen-tips/how-to-preserve-fruit"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Try bottling it as a preserve!</span></a></p> <p><em><span style="font-weight: 400;">Written by Siti Rohani. This article first appeared in </span><a href="https://www.readersdigest.com.au/food-home-garden/5-food-safety-tips-proper-food-handling"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Reader’s Digest</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;">.</span><span style="font-weight: 400;"> For more of what you love from the world’s best-loved magazine, </span><a href="http://readersdigest.innovations.com.au/c/readersdigestemailsubscribe?utm_source=over60&amp;utm_medium=articles&amp;utm_campaign=RDSUB&amp;keycode=WRA93V"><span style="font-weight: 400;">here’s our best subscription offer.</span></a></em></p>

Food & Wine

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"I didn't handle it well": Guy Sebastian admits he slipped up

<div class="body_text "> <p>Guy Sebastian has admitted that he "didn't handle it well" last night after a tense episode of <em>The Voice.</em></p> <p>Fellow coaches Kelly Rowland and Delta Goodrem ripped into Sebastian for treating a contestant "unfairly".</p> <p>The episode featured "The Battles" stage of the competition, where coaches put two of their team members against each other to sing the same song in front of the studio audience.</p> <p>After the song, the coach picks their favourite and another judge has an opportunity to "save" the singer that would be eliminated. The coach can only use one of two saves per Battles stage. </p> <p>Guy chose Bukhu Ganburged to take on fellow teammate Johnny Manuel, who is a fan favourite to win the competition.</p> <p>Bukhu had a stunning "Blind Audition", where his Mongolian throat singing allowed him to produce two or more notes at the same time stunned the coaches.</p> <blockquote class="twitter-tweet"> <p dir="ltr">You can't unhear this... The most unbelievable Blind Audition we've EVER seen 🤯 <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/TheVoiceAU?src=hash&amp;ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#TheVoiceAU</a> <a href="https://t.co/1tvhWP7dVd">pic.twitter.com/1tvhWP7dVd</a></p> — The Voice Australia (@TheVoiceAU) <a href="https://twitter.com/TheVoiceAU/status/1265234386221293569?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">May 26, 2020</a></blockquote> <p>However, fans of the show questioned whether or not how far the throat singing would take Bukhu as he would have to sing other songs that had lyrics.</p> <p>Guy chose Michael Jackson's <em>Earth Song</em> for the duo to perform, with Johnny singing the bulk of the lyrics and Bukhu providing a backing melody with his throat singing.</p> <p>After the performance, Delta said Guy picked a song she felt was designed to let Johnny shine instead of both singers.</p> <blockquote class="twitter-tweet"> <p dir="ltr">The spine-tingling Battle between Johnny and Bukhu divided our Coaches 🙅‍♂️ <br /><br />Share your Voice - was this a fair Battle? <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/TheVoiceAU?src=hash&amp;ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#TheVoiceAU</a> <a href="https://t.co/fr0Kzwmp3K">pic.twitter.com/fr0Kzwmp3K</a></p> — The Voice Australia (@TheVoiceAU) <a href="https://twitter.com/TheVoiceAU/status/1274653954152923137?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">June 21, 2020</a></blockquote> <p>“How was this a battle because it felt like Bukhu was your backing player,” Delta said to Johnny and Guy. “I didn’t at all feel it was fair. Bukhu was backing you and that was it.”</p> <p>Kelly agreed with Delta, but Guy said that Bukhu made it to the "Battles" round due t his throat singing skill and not his actual singing voice.</p> <p>“Just so I’m clear,” he said to his fellow judges, “you guys turned around for Bukhu (in the Blind Auditions) for his vocals?”</p> <p>“Let’s be real,” he continued. “I turned around because there was something unique about Bukhu, but it’s his throat singing and his playing and his insane musicianship.</p> <p>“What’s unfair is if I get Bukhu to sing up against Johnny,” Guy said.</p> <p>Delta stood by her point, saying "Right now, we are in a "battle" and it's about giving a song that is fair to both artists".</p> <p>However, Guy said that Bukhu was happy with the arrangement of the song.</p> <p>“Bukhu doesn’t put his hand up and say to me that he’s a singer as a pop singer,” Guy said. “He’s not trying to out-sing Johnny, so why would I put him in a position where he doesn’t shine in his best light?”</p> <p>Host Darren McMullen then asked Bukhu what he thought about the arrangement and whether or not Guy's song choice was unfair to him.</p> <p>The 35-year-old throat singer said, "Honestly, I don't know actually."</p> <p>Kelly then stormed off set, saying that she didn't want to continue the argument with Guy.</p> <p>“I’m not gonna go back and forth with you, Guy, I’m not doing this,” she said as she walked backstage.</p> <p>“What’s a walk off gonna do?” Guy said to Kelly. “It’s so disrespectful.”</p> <p>Kelly heard the comment from backstage and yelled back angrily: “No, you’re disrespectful, you’re disrespectful! In that case don’t put them together!”</p> <p>After the airing of the episode, Guy took to Twitter to explain his side.</p> <blockquote class="twitter-tweet"> <p dir="ltr"><a href="https://t.co/3JBCgRJHyt">pic.twitter.com/3JBCgRJHyt</a></p> — Guy Sebastian (@GuySebastian) <a href="https://twitter.com/GuySebastian/status/1274650811323170817?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">June 21, 2020</a></blockquote> <p>“There is a lot that people don’t see on this show including mentoring and follow up phone calls with the artists. I am disappointed that I didn’t just cop it on the chin and bring focus back to the artists.”</p> <p>He continued: “It was a challenge having someone like Bukhu and I admit that it seemed vocally unbalanced. I wanted them both 2 shine &amp; thought that showcasing Bukhu’s musicianship was the way 2 do it. He is exceptional and I’m sad that this went down the way it did due to my choice.</p> <p>“It’s something that cuts me &amp; I didn’t handle it well.”</p> </div>

Music

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“Someone needs to be held accountable”: Ovation of the Seas cruise passengers slam company for White Island disaster handling

<p>Passengers from the cruise ship at the centre of the White Island volcano eruption have disembarked at Sydney Harbour, with some criticising the way the company handled the incident.</p> <p>The Royal Caribbean International cruise ship Ovation of the Seas arrived in Sydney on Monday morning, a week after the disaster at the New Zealand island.</p> <p>Most of the people killed or injured in the eruption were part of organised day trips from the ship.</p> <p>Passenger Max Sum told the <em><a href="https://www.abc.net.au/news/2019-12-16/new-zealand-white-island-volcano-ovation-of-seas-docks-sydney/11802014">ABC</a> </em>said “the whole boat” stopped when the news of the eruption was announced.</p> <p>Sum’s 11-year-old Russell said upon hearing the news, “I thought it was fake news. I was like that can’t be true.”</p> <p>Kim Lee Eng, who was travelling with his wife and mother, said he was “very disappointed” with “a lot of communication from management” after the incident.</p> <p>“This is a big company, 50 years old, so they should have had a contingency teams to deal with this,” Kim told <em><a href="https://www.news.com.au/travel/travel-updates/incidents/ovation-of-the-seas-arrives-back-in-sydney-after-white-island-volcano-disaster/live-coverage/c4670803c3686244f8d0605b998b2c00">news.com.au</a></em>. “They were holding us on board – taking advantage of us.”</p> <p>Karen Kociszewski said the company needs to be held responsible. “Someone needs to be held accountable, definitely the cruise company, because it’s sad people aren’t going home,” she said.</p> <p>“You sign a waiver to say that, you know, you go there and if you break your ankle you’re not going to sue them, but you don't go there thinking this is going to happen.”</p> <p>Jo-Anne Henderson said the atmosphere on board was “very somber” for the past week.</p> <p>“It was terrible, we were all so sorry that we were enjoying ourselves while people were getting blown away,” she said.</p> <p>“It was very somber on board. A lot of crying. A lot of people crying for many, many days, even up to yesterday there were still tears. It was so painful, it broke my heart.”</p> <p>Henderson commended the ship crew for keeping the passengers up to date. “Our captain was wonderful. He kept popping up and making announcements to let us know. Royal Caribbean did a brilliant job,” she said.</p> <p>US tourist Jennifer Highfield said while the employees on board were helpful, more facilities could have been made available.</p> <p>“The ship constantly gave us information and counselling. But it would have been helpful to have free Wi-Fi to keep in touch with family and friends who were concerned. I had a package covering internet, but I know there was a lot of people on board who did not,” Highfield told the <em><a href="https://www.abc.net.au/news/2019-12-16/new-zealand-white-island-volcano-ovation-of-seas-docks-sydney/11802014">ABC</a></em>.</p> <p>“The captain was wonderful, we could tell it was heartbreaking for him personally. Even coming in today I felt a bit emotional.”</p>

News

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How to handle a wasp infestation

<p>Wasps are common in all regions across Australia. They build nests on buildings away from direct sunlight and cause a lot of damage in the process. While most homeowners might ignore wasps, it is important to appreciate the risk they pose to your home’s occupants and the structure itself.</p> <p>They have an extremely painful sting which contains histamine. This chemical can cause allergic reactions in some people leading to health complications such as anaphylaxis or death. Stings from bees and wasps caused 12,351 admissions and 27 fatalities in Australia. It is for these reasons that you should learn more about <span><a href="https://www.dawsonspest.com.au/pest-library/bees-wasps">wasp nest removal</a></span>.</p> <p>This article highlights a few safe techniques of nest removal from your home or business structure. Read on.</p> <p><strong>Identify a wasp infestation</strong></p> <p>It is easy to find out if your home has a wasp infestation but finding a wasp is another matter altogether. These insects try to hide their nests away from sight where they can live undisturbed. You can check under an overhang where wasps stay away from the rain. They can also build under an awning, wood deck, soffit, railing or large tree branch in your compound.</p> <p>If you have noted wasps buzzing around your compound, it is important to call a licensed pest removal technician who has the skills and equipment to do the job.</p> <p><strong>Stay away from a wasp nest</strong></p> <p>If you happen to notice a wasp nest, it is advisable to stay away from it and remove your pets from the area. Many homeowners have ended up in emergency rooms while trying to locate wasp nests and remove them. It is important to note that wasps won’t attack unless they feel threatened.</p> <p>If you agitate them when trying to remove the nest, you will end up badly hurt or worse. To make matters worse, wasps release chemicals that attract others nearby and this can lead to a fatal situation especially if you have kids around.</p> <p>Once you identify a wasp nest, call a licensed wasp nest removal technician who has the prerequisite skills and equipment to do the job safely.</p> <p><strong>Professional wasp removal</strong></p> <p>The best thing about professional nest removal is that the pest control company knows how to handle the situation. They have experience dealing with different wasps in the area and will know which techniques to use. Without such skills, you might end up making things worse and injuring yourself.</p> <p>The nest removal process begins with a thorough inspection of your property, starting with the area where you spotted the nest. The pest control technicians wear protective gear to avoid injuries, and they use eco-friendly chemicals to eliminate the infestation and remove the wasp nest.</p> <p>When dealing with wasps, you need to appreciate that nest removal is not enough, hence the use of pesticides to get rid of the infestation. The best pest control service carries insurance for your protection and protection of their workers and you will enjoy peace of mind when they work.</p> <p><em><span>Written by Handyman Authors. Republished with permission of </span></em><span><a href="http://www.handyman.net.au/nest-no-more-how-handle-wasp-infestation"><em>Handyman</em></a><em>.</em></span></p>

Home & Garden

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A full royal household: How is Balmoral Castle handling all their guests?

<p>With all the royal members staying at the Queen’s summer residence over the last few weeks, it is a wonder how they are managing all being so close to each other - even if the Summer home is a castle. </p> <p>Each year during the summer, Her Majesty spends time away from London in Scotland’s Highlands, at Balmoral Castle. </p> <p>When the warmer months are in full swing, other members of the royal family head north to join the Queen and Prince Philip. </p> <p>However reports are stating this year’s long list of visitors has forced couriers to make a few adjustments to the sleeping arrangements. </p> <blockquote style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/B1OQ4aHgNi6/" data-instgrm-version="12"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"></div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"></div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"></div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/B1OQ4aHgNi6/" target="_blank">A post shared by Royals now and then (@royalsnowthen)</a> on Aug 16, 2019 at 4:17am PDT</p> </div> </blockquote> <p>British publication<span> </span><a href="https://www.express.co.uk/news/royal/1170228/prince-william-prince-harry-news-feud-balmoral-castle-queen-summer-holiday"><em>The Express<span> </span></em></a>said the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge’s visit has coincided with the Duke and Duchess of Sussex and due to this, both Prince William and Duchess Kate are staying out of the castle itself. </p> <p>"The Queen has a lot of guests coming and to ease the pressure the Cambridges are likely to stay at the cottage," a royal insider said. </p> <p>The Cambridge’s are believed to have settled into Tam-na-Ghar which is situated in the castle grounds.</p> <p>Meanwhile, Prince Harry and Duchess Meghan along with baby Archie are expected to be staying within the castle walls. </p> <blockquote style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/B1pMmCCnSqQ/" data-instgrm-version="12"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"></div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"></div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"></div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/B1pMmCCnSqQ/" target="_blank">A post shared by The Royal Windsors (@royals_off_the_record)</a> on Aug 26, 2019 at 3:19pm PDT</p> </div> </blockquote> <p>So far, Balmoral Castle’s royal visitors include Prince Charles, Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall, Prince Andrew, and his daughters Princess Eugenie and Princess Beatrice.</p> <p>Princess Eugenie's husband Jack Brooksbank and Beatrice's boyfriend, Edoardo Mapelli Mozzi have also visited up north. </p> <p>The guests are not sitting around either, the royal insider continued. </p> <p>"It can get quite busy at what they call 'the big house' and it's not especially relaxing even though it's a holiday.”</p> <p>"There's a daily routine which evolves around mealtimes, several outfit changes every day, sometimes five, and the Queen likes everything to run like clockwork."</p> <blockquote style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/B1eNv3ynuR0/" data-instgrm-version="12"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"></div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"></div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"></div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/B1eNv3ynuR0/" target="_blank">A post shared by Royal Icelander 🇮🇸 (@royalicelander)</a> on Aug 22, 2019 at 8:57am PDT</p> </div> </blockquote> <p>While the royals prefer to keep their activities private, Princess Eugenie has previously opened up about some of the ways they like to keep themselves occupied. </p> <p>The royal said in the documentary<span> </span><em>Our Queen at Ninety,<span> </span></em>Balmoral Castle is her “Granny’s” happy place. </p> <p>"Walks, picnics, dogs—a lot of dogs, there's always dogs—and people coming in and out all the time," she said. </p> <blockquote style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/B1Uv0DIHfZa/" data-instgrm-version="12"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"></div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"></div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"></div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/B1Uv0DIHfZa/" target="_blank">A post shared by CAЯLOS (@los009)</a> on Aug 18, 2019 at 4:42pm PDT</p> </div> </blockquote> <p>"It's a lovely base for Granny and Grandpa, for us to come and see them up there, where you just have room to breathe and run."</p> <p>Balmoral Castle has been one of the royal’s residences since 1852, when Prince Albert purchased it as a gift for his wife Queen Victoria.</p> <p>Scroll through the gallery above to see the royal family at Balmoral Castle throughout the years.</p>

Travel Trouble

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How to handle people who make you feel inferior

<p><em><strong>Susan Krauss Whitbourne is a professor of Psychology and Brain Sciences at the University of Massachusetts Amherst. She writes the Fulfilment at Any Age blog for Psychology Today.</strong></em></p> <p>You’ve got a relative who always purports to be the expert on any subject. Although it’s sometimes helpful to get actual advice you can use, the constant drumbeat of supposedly knowledge-based conclusions that comes out of this person’s mouth leaves you feeling that somehow you’re defective. When you think about it, the advice was useful, but it was given in a tone of voice that seems to have been designed to drive the point home that your ideas – and you – completely lack validity.</p> <p>When people go out of their way to make you feel bad about yourself, the question becomes whether it’s you or them. If ordinarily you feel your self-concept is pretty robust, it shouldn’t really be affected by some small event that exposes your inadequacy. In fact, when you think about it, there are plenty of people who make you feel comfortable around them without feeling the least bit weak or defensive. Recent research by Simon Fraser University’s Uthike Girme and colleagues (2017) examined what they call “relationship-specific” attachment insecurity. They proposed that people can be made to feel insecure within a particular relationship, even when on the whole, they’ve got a relatively solid sense of who they are. Although the research focused on attachment security within a romantic relationship, the results can be thought of as generalisable to other close relationships as well.</p> <p>As Girme et al. note, “greater turbulence in the form of more negative emotions and irritations that occur during difficult transition periods escalates doubts and increases feelings of uncertainty about the relationship." In other words, when you’re made to feel insecure in your relationship, you question whether your partner will really be there for you. Translating this to the more general problem of feeling insecure with a non-romantic partner, the experience of being made to feel insecure should also create emotional turbulence. Part of what might influence your sense of insecurity, though, is whether you expect the relationship will endure over time. If you feel you’re going through a rough time that eventually will work itself out, you won’t be as upset if another person is unsupportive temporarily.</p> <p>Attachment security is the basic feeling that your relationship with others is solid and will endure over time. People high in this quality, additionally, have an equally solid sense of self. They don’t worry when someone comes along who challenges this stable base. However, if the Simon Fraser researchers are right, just because you feel secure one day doesn’t mean you’ll feel secure the next if something happens that challenges this foundation of your self-concept. Girme et al. hypothesised first that people high in attachment security expected their relationships to be more stable over time, and indeed this was confirmed. They next examined whether people’s feelings of distress would vary according to fluctuations in attachment security and, on a study of individuals drawn from a community sample, were able to establish this point. Finally, using a sample of couples undergoing the transition to parenthood, a notably stressful time, the Canadian researchers showed that those whose attachment security fluctuated the most throughout this 2-year period of change in their partner's availability were the ones who felt the most emotional distress.</p> <p>In summarising the findings of their three studies, Girme and her collaborators conclude that their work “counterbalance(s) previous research documenting secure individuals’ steadfast resilience when confronted with potentially damaging relationship experiences." In fact, the people who expect the greatest relationship stability are the ones who suffer the most when things go wrong. The flip side of this is that people low in attachment security don’t seem as distressed if their relationship partner becomes unavailable to them. Expecting less, they’re less surprised and disappointed when they get it.  </p> <p>If we extrapolate from the conclusions of the Canadian research team to other, non-romantic relationships, similar principles may apply. In your own circle of friends, relatives, and co-workers, there are some people who reinforce and others who undermine your own security. In these instances, it’s important to ask yourself why these people challenge your basic sense of self. Is it because they are outright critical? Or do they make themselves seem more desirable by being emotionally unavailable? Then ask yourself whether it’s you or them? What causes people to need to make you feel insecure?</p> <p>To answer some of these questions, look outside your own relationship with these insecurity-fostering people. How do they relate to others, and what do others do in their presence? Do you sense that others, too, are made to feel small? Once you realise that is them and not you, this can help you neutralise your interactions with them. Going in ahead of time with them, knowing that you’ll be led down the path of self-doubt and anxiety, will allow you to make more objective appraisals of the situation. Girme et al. noted that people high in attachment security who were made to feel insecure also felt high levels of emotional distress. You can set that distress aside when you understand its source. You can also turn the tables on these findings to examine your own behaviour with others. Are you the one who needs to put people down by showing your superiority? Having a solid sense of self means that you don’t need to inflict this pain on others, because you’re confident in your own self-worth.</p> <p>To sum up, the way you handle people who make you insecure is to turn your attention inward and shore up your own self-esteem. Just because one person leads you to question yourself doesn’t mean that you’re inadequate. There may also be times when you’re particularly vulnerable. Recognise that people’s feelings of security can vary over time, and this will help you reduce the distress that one given individual can cause.</p> <p><em>Written by Susan Krauss Whitbourne. First appeared on <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/" target="_blank">Psychology Today</a></strong></span>.</em></p>

Relationships

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How to handle common awkward moments

<p>We all dread those awkward moments when you agonise over which answer is the right one, what to say to avoid offending someone, or how to best extricate yourself. Well, we’ve got the answers for you.</p> <p><strong>1. “I’ve been meaning to call you!”</strong></p> <p>Returning phone calls can be one of life’s simple tasks that falls by the wayside the fastest. But what happens when you run into the person whose calls you’ve not yet returned? What do you owe them? Take a few moments, while exchanging pleasantries, to assess your relationship with this person – do you want to give them a few minutes now for the Cliffs Notes catch up, or should you really schedule a coffee with them for when you’re both free?</p> <p>Whatever you do, don’t apologise for not returning the phone calls – because that will just remind them of the situation and put the onus on them to say “that’s okay”, which it might not be. Make it positive and light with a remark like, “This is lucky – you’ve just saved us catching up over the phone because here you are.”</p> <p><strong>2. Awkward acquaintance run-ins</strong></p> <p>You know those times when you run into someone you know, but not well enough to ever seek out their company of your own volition? They’re always the ones you happen to run into on public transport, or simply walking down the street, making for some awkward conversational moments – especially if you’re travelling in the same direction. If you’ve exhausted your initial pleasantries and the thought of a floundering conversation about your friends in common exhausts you, then it’s time to politely bow out of the situation by excusing yourself to answer a call of nature at this convenient bathroom, or fulfilling your caffeine requirements by ducking into a café.</p> <p><strong>3. Appearance faux pas</strong></p> <p>There’s something slightly embarrassing about someone you don’t know that well who seemingly hasn’t noticed that they have forgotten to zip their fly, or have food stuck in their teeth. But it can distract you from the conversation as you wonder whether or not to tell them about it. Well, here’s my expert (self-proclaimed) advice: if you’re in a big group, it’s best not to embarrass the person by pointing out the flaw. You’ll score no points with anyone for doing so. If a moment comes up when you can help them correct the situation without drawing attention, that’s great. But if it’s something that can’t be helped (e.g. an already set stain, or inappropriate clothing choice), then it’s best to leave it alone.</p> <p><strong>4. “How do I look?”</strong></p> <p>Most of the time, this question is an easy one to answer, because it will usually come from a loved one who we love enough to gloss over any imperfections or fashion faux pas. But sometimes, it’s okay to be honest – so long as you to so tactfully. If you’re shopping, then the dressing room is the perfect place to help steer friends and family away from a fashion disaster. If something is too tight, or the colour is terrible, then you can blame the garment or brand with comments like, “this company runs so small – I never fit into any of their stuff”. Phrases like, “it doesn’t do anything for you” are a great way to remind the person that clothes should be accentuating their natural beauty and physique. If, however, this person is already dressed and out in public, or is in a time crunch and halfway out the door, then assure them they look nice, and perhaps schedule a shopping trip in the near future.</p> <p>What’s your most dreaded awkward moment and how do you handle it?</p>

Relationships

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How to handle 3 questions everyone hates

<p>Whether it’s borne of a rebellious attitude towards social norms, some kind of hostility, or just plain cluelessness, there are so many reasons why someone you know (<em>or don’t know</em>) may ask you one of those personal, awkward, or downright rude questions you hate to answer. Despite the reason for or motivation behind the questioning, there always comes that moment when you have to respond in some way. To prepare you for those moments, we’ve got a few tips.</p> <p><strong>How goes the hunt for love?</strong></p> <p>As anyone who has read <em>Bridget Jones’ Diary</em> can tell you (or even those who live it on a daily basis), one of the most dreaded questions of many a single is the reason they aren’t partnered up. If you are confronted with this question, remember not to get frustrated – the reasoning is likely not malicious – so try to remain your poised, gracious self as you answer, “Why do you ask?” This simple response is the conversational equivalent of returning a blistering serve in tennis. It’s similarly personal, and will force your questioner to give a reason why you should answer. You take it from there – your reasons are your own.</p> <p><strong>How much did you get?</strong></p> <p>Questions about money are rarely appropriate, but surprisingly frequent with people you don’t know terribly well. There are a few options available to you in this case, and both are perfectly good. Use your best judgement:</p> <ul> <li>Humorous responses can politely indicate that you don’t want to discuss money. Something like, “What am I paid? Only paid half what I’m worth.” Sure, it’s not a knee-slapper, but the asker should get the point. If they don’t;</li> <li>Try being direct but polite. Firm responses that you were taught to never discuss subjects like money should shut down the questioning, and make anyone in earshot think twice about prying in the future.</li> </ul> <p><strong>Have you lost weight?</strong></p> <p>This is the backhanded way of telling someone they’re looking especially good today. Your asker may be looking for a few tips to help them on their own fitness journey, so if you have lost weight because of a new diet or exercise regime, you may want to discuss it with them. Otherwise, you can once again reflect the question upon the asker by replying with the same question about their weight. If it turns into an awkward silence, then it’s likely they didn’t have a strong reasoning behind asking, but if they reply with a story about their own weight loss, or lack thereof, then feel free to lead the conversation as you feel comfortable.</p> <p>What’s your best tip for handling those awkward moments when you don’t want to answer a question?</p>

Relationships

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When your partner’s health becomes too much to handle

<p>As we age, health can become a serious issue in a relationship. Start by remembering these few basic tips.</p> <p><strong>1. Don't pretend that nothing has changed</strong></p> <p>There’s no denying that your new reality is strange at best – and terrifying at worst. So you cannot go on pretending that things are as they have always been. You both need to be realistic about your new situation and make plans accordingly. Give yourself permission to feel anger, sadness, frustration or any other emotion you want.</p> <p><strong>2. Maintain some balance in the relationship</strong></p> <p>When one partner is caring for the other, any sense of balance in the relationship can go straight out the window. It is important that the your still maintain some of their role in the relationship. You may not want to burden a sick person with your daily struggles or larger issues (like depression or anxiety) but you still need to be able to talk to them – and they to listen in return. Emotional closeness remains important even when a physical relationship has diminished.</p> <p><strong>3. Try not to become isolated</strong></p> <p>It’s too easy to retreat from the world when your partner becomes sick (especially if they are housebound). You don't want to bore others with your constant talk of illness or you feel that you are physically unable to get out and about. Isolation is proven to lead to depression and other health issues, so make a concerted effort to stay connected to the outside world.</p> <p><strong>4. Don't neglect your own health</strong></p> <p>When you are constantly dealing with the health issues of your partner, it is very easy to let your own health slide. Genuine problems might not seem so serious when compared to your partner’s illness or you might just be tired of dealing with doctors. You need to preserve your own health, regardless of how your partner is feeling.</p> <p><strong>5. Don't be afraid to ask for help</strong></p> <p>You don’t have to face this alone. Help is out there if you are willing to ask. You can reach out to family members or close friends, or look for more professional help from the government or private services. Feeling that you are solely responsible for the health of your partner can be scary and isolating, so do both of you a favour and share the load.</p> <p><strong>6. Do things for yourself</strong></p> <p>Make time for you – get outside and go for a walk, attend yoga classes, catch up with friends. Caring for another person is physically and emotionally draining, so you need to take some time out for yourself and do things that you enjoy. Don't feel guilty that your partner cannot join you. You are still an important person who deserves to be happy.</p> <p><em>Any advice contained in this communication is general advice only. None of the information provided is, or should be considered to be, personal financial advice.</em></p>

Retirement Income

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Handling houseguests who overstay their welcome

<p>As a Canadian expat and serial traveller, I've been a house guest many times over.</p> <p>As an introverted, sensitive type, I am conscious of being "that guest". You know, the one who eats all your food, makes a mess, sits around waiting for you to entertain them or overstays their welcome.</p> <p>Several international proverbs suggest that fish and house guests smell after three days. I agree. The majority of my family and friends live interstate and overseas, so longer stays are inevitable. As a personal rule, I have a five day limit when I stay with others, even my own family.</p> <p>HomeAway claims "millions" of people chose to rent accommodation rather than stay with family over the Christmas holidays this year. This is good news considering 34 per cent of the people surveyed said relatives overstay their welcome after one day.</p> <p>But unless you're going to enforce a no-guest rule, you'll likely have to endure relatives and friends staying in your home. I do like to have guests, but I work from home and I need my space. This can cause issues.</p> <p>What I struggle with the most is setting boundaries. I've made subtle suggestions in the past but unfortunately dropping hints hasn't worked well. I've read enough blogs, articles and forum rants to know I'm not the only one who has a hard time asking people to limit their stay.</p> <p>I talked to Nicole Cook, a clinical psychologist at Mindframe Psychology, about why some people find it hard to have that conversation.</p> <p>"Many of us are people-pleasers and we like to be hospitable. The lack of boundaries from the start is what gets us into trouble," she said.</p> <p>Cook said being upfront with your guests may save conflict and resentment during or after their stay. The problem is, these conversations can be awkward.</p> <p>"It is uncomfortable, having these conversations with people. But it's much better to choose short-term discomfort over long-term resentment," she said.</p> <p>Personality differences often play a role in visitor/host conflict, Cook added.</p> <p>"If you're naturally introverted and you need a lot more time on your own, having people in your space may be more problematic than someone who's extroverted and gets their energy from being around people.</p> <p>"During holiday times, when stress levels are already high, you can end up getting quite resentful or petty," she said.</p> <p>Elizabeth Hollingsworth, who runs an event decoration business from her Melbourne home, says house guests can interfere with your normal routine if they stay too long.</p> <p>"Ideally, guests should stay under a week. The perfect house guest stays under four days. Once they're staying for more than two weeks it starts to eat into your normal life and it gets very hard to get things done," she says.</p> <p>Sometimes, things can get done more efficiently with guests around, especially if you put them to work like Hollingsworth does.</p> <p>"I had a job to install fairy lighting so when Mum was here [visiting] I asked her if she wanted to come along. She was up on the ladder attaching the lights. I'm not adverse to my guests pitching in," she said.</p> <p>In the past, I've always wanted to be the gracious, hard-working hostess so I did everything. Now, I'm over it. I let my guests do the dishes, make dinner, go to the shop, contribute to the food bill and even clean the house, especially if they're staying more than three days.</p> <p>House guests can be a blessing or a curse. I guess it all depends on how you, the host, handle the guest request.</p> <p><strong>Best practices to make your guests' stay pleasant for everyone:</strong></p> <p>1. Have "the" conversation. Be direct about how long your guest room is available.</p> <p>2. Be upfront about boundaries: no smoking, no pets, no strangers, no loud noises...</p> <p>3. If you work from home, consider working from a cafe, library or shared-office space during your guests' stay.</p> <p>4. Let your guests help with meals and kitchen clean-up.</p> <p>5. Show them the public transport stops and closest shops.</p> <p>6. Collect brochures for local attractions. Encourage them to explore the area on their own.</p> <p>7. If they want to buy you a gift of thanks, accept it.</p> <p>How do you get rid of unwanted houseguests?</p> <p><em>Written by Jennifer Moreton. First appeared on <a href="http://www.stuff.co.nz/" target="_blank"><strong><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Stuff.co.nz</span></strong></a>. </em></p>

Accommodation

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How happy couples handle arguments

<p>Arguments are a part of life, but they don’t have to spell the end of a relationship. Follow these tactics from happy couples and learn to fight smart.</p> <p><strong>They listen to each other</strong></p> <p>Communication is the key to a happy relationship at the best of times, but it becomes even more important during an argument. Take time to genuinely listen to what the other person is saying and hear their point of view, rather than just waiting for your turn to speak again. Arguments quickly become worse when it is just two people yelling at each other without ever really listening. Take things slow, take turns and remember that everyone has a right to speak.</p> <p><strong>They don’t run from it</strong></p> <p>On the face of it, it might seem like avoiding arguments altogether is the best course of action. Not so. Leaving an issue to fester, unspoken, inevitably makes it worse. Rather than running from a fight, sit down with your partner and talk it through in a reasonable manner. That way, you will be able to come to some sort of resolution instead of just privately stewing over an issue. It's only a matter of time before it blows up in your face.</p> <p><strong>They attack the problem not the person</strong></p> <p>There’s a big difference between being angry at a person and being angry at their behaviour, and it’s important to keep a clear distinction. Remember that you and your partner are a team, not on opposing sides. Just because you disagree over something, no matter how large or small, doesn't change that. If a problem arises, you are better off focusing on how you can tackle it together instead of attacking the other person directly.</p> <p><strong>They think about the big picture</strong></p> <p>It’s only natural to want to win a fight, but what you should really be focusing on is letting the relationship win overall. It can be easy to get caught up in the minutiae of an argument, focusing on the little details and tiny slights you think have been delivered. But take a moment and see the bigger picture – do you want this relationship to end? If the answer is no, then you need to see this fight for what it is: a bump in the road that you can overcome together.</p> <p><strong>They don’t get nasty</strong></p> <p>This should go without saying but, sadly, it doesn’t. At no point do happy couples resort to name calling, threatening language, out of control yelling or physical violence. Don’t say something you can’t take back or that you will ultimately regret. Remember that, above all, you love each other and you want to be together.</p> <p>How do you handle arguments with your partner?</p>

Relationships

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