Placeholder Content Image

The psychology behind why we lie in emails

<p>There’s been quite of lot of attention in the media recently surrounding the empty words and meaningless phrases we use to fill our emails of late.</p> <p>As Fairfax Media’s Natalie Reilly writes, “It appears to be a poorly kept secret that a large part of adulthood involves sending missives back and forth without ever actually achieving anything.”</p> <blockquote class="twitter-tweet"> <p dir="ltr">adulthood is emailing "sorry for the delayed response!" back and forth until one of you dies</p> — Marissa Miller Kovac (@Marissa__Miller) <a href="https://twitter.com/Marissa__Miller/status/703085321643278336">February 26, 2016</a></blockquote> <p>Reilly continues: “But, in 2017 we're at peace with such messiness – likely because we have accepted how much we hate talking on the phone – and now just need to know how to dodge, delay and ultimately decline plans in the most painless way possible, while simultaneously sending out emails asking why there is a delay with X and when can we meet to discuss it.”</p> <p>More than ever people seem to be comfortable with a cluttered inbox, to the point where a range of common expressions have been created to control the messiness.</p> <p>Here are four of the most common:</p> <p><strong>1. “Hope you're well”</strong></p> <p>Rather than a genuine wish for someone to be faring well, this is just a statement used to precede the topic of the email which is much less pleasant.</p> <p><strong>2. “Just checking in”</strong></p> <p>This is quite a cheesy line, especially for people who are working in a corporate environment. This only means you haven’t received a response to your question.</p> <p><strong>3. “Not Sure if You…”</strong></p> <p>This statement generally hides the actual malice in the email’s content!</p> <p><strong>4. “Sorry! Your Email Went to My Junk Folder!”</strong></p> <p>Sorry to be the bearer of bad news but this is almost certainly not what happened. </p>

Technology

Placeholder Content Image

How to tell if someone is lying

<p>We all like to think that we are good judges of character. We think we can tell when someone is being genuine or when they’re trying to pull the wool over our eyes. But can we really? Here are five ways to catch out a liar.</p> <p><strong>1. Ask more questions</strong></p> <p>Lying is hard. It’s much harder than telling the truth. The liar must keep all the facts in their story straight, rather than just recounting a genuine memory. The brain is working overtime or, to use the technical term, has an increased cognitive load. To catch out a liar, you want to increase their cognitive load and make their brain work even harder – then it becomes more likely that they will slip up. Ask them questions, get them to elaborate on a point, ask for clarification on a detail. The more they have to think up on the spot, the more likely they will make a mistake and you’ll expose a hole in their story.</p> <p><strong>2. Listen for repeats</strong></p> <p>Lies will tend to be repetitive. The liar will repeat aspects of the story over and over again in an attempt to convince you they are true and drill them into your memory. Very often the phrases they repeat the most will absolve themselves of any responsibility – watch out for repeated instances of “I didn’t”, “I wasn’t there” or “I don’t know”.</p> <p><strong>3. The devil is in (too much) detail</strong></p> <p>In an attempt to create a plausible story, liars will often create elaborate tales that are overflowing with details. They are trying to compensate for the fact that the story is untrue by creating as many specific details as they can. If someone tells you a long, involved story when you haven’t requested it, be on your guard.</p> <p><strong>4. Watch your emotions</strong></p> <p>It can be easy to get caught up in the story of a liar. They will try to appeal to your emotions, rather than your logic. They may try to elicit sympathy by telling you a sad tale or get you excited about a new plan you could be involved in. When you let your emotions take over you pay less attention to the details and instead get caught up in the general mood. When someone is trying to manipulate our feelings with a lie, it is dangerous to trust your emotions. Stay cool and stay objective. Think logically about what is being said and don’t get swept away by an appealing lie.</p> <p><strong>5. Focus on the physical</strong></p> <p>Liars can be caught out by much more than the words that they say. There are a number of physical signs that can give people away. If this is someone that you know well, see if their overall tone or demeanour appears different. Deliberately lying generally makes people uncomfortable, so they may unintentionally change their manner. Lying also makes people nervous, so watch for fidgeting or fussing, fiddling with the hair or gestures that seem forced. People may cover their mouth, a subconscious move that indicates they know they shouldn’t be speaking. A liar can also become unreasonably aggressive or confrontational when questioned – hostile gestures or finger pointing can be a give away.</p> <p><strong>Related links:</strong></p> <p><a href="/health/mind/2016/04/why-venting-can-make-you-more-mad/"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em><strong>Why venting can make you more mad</strong></em></span></a></p> <p><a href="/health/mind/2016/03/surprising-way-you-can-tell-someone-is-lying/"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em><strong>Surprising way to tell if someone’s lying</strong></em></span></a></p> <p><a href="/health/mind/2016/03/could-stress-be-good-for-us/"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em><strong>Could stress actually be good for us?</strong></em></span></a></p>

Mind

Our Partners