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Is attachment theory actually important for romantic relationships?

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/marissa-nivison-1454992">Marissa Nivison</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-calgary-1318">University of Calgary</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/sheri-madigan-417151">Sheri Madigan</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-calgary-1318">University of Calgary</a></em></p> <p>There has been a recent surge of attention toward attachment theory: from <a href="https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTL2aW9va/">TikTok videos</a> to <a href="https://quiz.attachmentproject.com/">online quizzes</a> that claim to “assess your attachment style.” It’s become a hot topic, especially in the context of romantic relationships, with <a href="https://medium.com/curious/the-theory-that-explains-all-your-failed-relationships-fb2dc2551617">some articles</a> claiming that one person (or partner’s) attachment styles are the reason why relationships fail.</p> <p>As experts in developmental and clinical psychology focusing on attachment theory, we seek to provide an accessible resource to better understand the science of attachment, and what it means for one’s romantic relationships.</p> <h2>What is attachment?</h2> <p>Attachment theory stems from the field of developmental psychology. It is the notion that in the first year of life, the ways in which a parent and caregiver respond to a child’s needs shape a child’s expectation of relationships across their lifespan.</p> <p>In research, attachment has been associated with well-being across the lifespan including: <a href="https://doi.org/10.1017/S0954579499002035">mental</a> and <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/14616734.2018.1541517">physical</a> health, <a href="https://doi.org/10.1037/a0032671">brain functioning</a> and even <a href="https://citeseerx.ist.psu.edu/document?repid=rep1&amp;type=pdf&amp;doi=092354a82953ac321429f84b00607bcd44ac4c63">romantic relationships</a>.</p> <figure class="align-center "><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/587576/original/file-20240411-16-x97xu0.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&amp;q=45&amp;auto=format&amp;w=754&amp;fit=clip" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/587576/original/file-20240411-16-x97xu0.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&amp;q=45&amp;auto=format&amp;w=600&amp;h=455&amp;fit=crop&amp;dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/587576/original/file-20240411-16-x97xu0.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&amp;q=30&amp;auto=format&amp;w=600&amp;h=455&amp;fit=crop&amp;dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/587576/original/file-20240411-16-x97xu0.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&amp;q=15&amp;auto=format&amp;w=600&amp;h=455&amp;fit=crop&amp;dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/587576/original/file-20240411-16-x97xu0.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&amp;q=45&amp;auto=format&amp;w=754&amp;h=572&amp;fit=crop&amp;dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/587576/original/file-20240411-16-x97xu0.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&amp;q=30&amp;auto=format&amp;w=754&amp;h=572&amp;fit=crop&amp;dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/587576/original/file-20240411-16-x97xu0.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&amp;q=15&amp;auto=format&amp;w=754&amp;h=572&amp;fit=crop&amp;dpr=3 2262w" alt="Illustrations of four different attachment styes" /><figcaption><span class="caption">There are two overarching types of attachment: secure and insecure. Types of insecure attachment include disorganized, avoidant and anxious attachment.</span> <span class="attribution"><span class="source">(Shutterstock)</span></span></figcaption></figure> <h2>How is attachment related to romantic relationships?</h2> <p>Among professionals in the field, there is diversity in perspectives regarding how attachment relates with romantic relationships. As developmental psychologists, we tend to think that attachment is associated with romantic relationships through what we call the “<a href="https://doi.org/10.1080/14616739900134191">internal working model</a>.”</p> <p>In childhood, when a parent is consistent and responsive in tending to their child, the child learns that their parent can be counted on in times of need. These expectations and beliefs about relationships are then internalized as a blueprint, sometimes in popular media referred to as a “<a href="https://medium.com/live-your-life-on-purpose/love-maps-are-a-gamechanger-when-you-have-an-anxious-attachment-style-dc8f219ab0af">love map</a>.” Just like how an architect uses a blueprint to design a building, a child’s attachment to their parents provides a blueprint for understanding how to approach other relationships.</p> <p>Based on this blueprint, people develop expectations of how relationships should work, and how other important people in their life, including partners, should respond to their needs.</p> <p>Sometimes attachment is also described in terms of attachment “styles.” There are two overarching types of attachment: <a href="https://doi.org/10.4324/9780203758045">secure and insecure</a>. Those with a secure attachment style tend to have expectations that their attachment figures (and later, partners) will be responsive, sensitive and caring in times of distress. People with secure “blueprints” find it easier to build new structures (i.e., relationships) with the same design.</p> <p>People with insecure blueprints — such as disorganized, avoidant or anxious attachment styles — may face relationship challenges when their current relationship doesn’t align with their childhood experiences, and may need to renovate their blueprint design together with their partner.</p> <p>Whether you think about attachment as a style or a love map, they both are related to expectations of relationships, which are shaped by past experiences.</p> <p>In research we see that people who had consistent, reliable and sensitive parents are more likely to have more positive relationships — including <a href="https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1475-6811.1997.tb00135.x">friendships</a>, <a href="https://doi.org/10.1111/cdev.13322">teacher-child relationships</a> and yes, <a href="https://citeseerx.ist.psu.edu/document?repid=rep1&amp;type=pdf&amp;doi=092354a82953ac321429f84b00607bcd44ac4c63">romantic relationships too</a>.</p> <h2>Relationships with parents and relationships with partners</h2> <p>Although we do see in research that better childhood relationships are associated with better romantic relationships, there is still a large part of the population who have good relationships with partners, despite their history of lower-quality relationships with their parents.</p> <figure class="align-center "><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/587575/original/file-20240411-16-fn5xgk.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&amp;q=45&amp;auto=format&amp;w=754&amp;fit=clip" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/587575/original/file-20240411-16-fn5xgk.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&amp;q=45&amp;auto=format&amp;w=600&amp;h=453&amp;fit=crop&amp;dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/587575/original/file-20240411-16-fn5xgk.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&amp;q=30&amp;auto=format&amp;w=600&amp;h=453&amp;fit=crop&amp;dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/587575/original/file-20240411-16-fn5xgk.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&amp;q=15&amp;auto=format&amp;w=600&amp;h=453&amp;fit=crop&amp;dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/587575/original/file-20240411-16-fn5xgk.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&amp;q=45&amp;auto=format&amp;w=754&amp;h=569&amp;fit=crop&amp;dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/587575/original/file-20240411-16-fn5xgk.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&amp;q=30&amp;auto=format&amp;w=754&amp;h=569&amp;fit=crop&amp;dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/587575/original/file-20240411-16-fn5xgk.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&amp;q=15&amp;auto=format&amp;w=754&amp;h=569&amp;fit=crop&amp;dpr=3 2262w" alt="Illustration of loving parents with a child, and the grown child in a loving relationship" /><figcaption><span class="caption">In research we see that people who had consistent, reliable and sensitive parents are more likely to have more positive relationships.</span> <span class="attribution"><span class="source">(Shutterstock)</span></span></figcaption></figure> <p>It is possible for romantic relationships to serve as a <a href="https://doi.org/10.1037/1089-2680.4.2.155">“healing relationship”</a> and improve one’s own internal working model of relationships. Specifically, when a partner is consistently sensitive, responsive and available, a person may begin to adjust their blueprint and develop new expectations from relationships. Attachment theory consistently supports the idea that one’s patterns of attachment <a href="https://eric.ed.gov/?id=EJ960225">can change</a>.</p> <p>So, all in all, the answer is no: Your relationship with your parents influences but does not <em>determine</em> the quality of your romantic relationships.</p> <h2>Is attachment the reason why my relationships don’t work out?</h2> <p>It is possible that your expectations of a romantic relationship may not align with the expectations of your partner, and may affect the quality of the relationship. For example, sometimes individuals with insecure attachments may withdraw when they are upset, but their partner who has a secure attachment may be upset that their partner is not coming to them for comfort.</p> <p>Thinking through your own attachment history and expectations of relationships may be a great opportunity for self-reflection, but it is important to remember that attachment is only one part of a relationship. Communication, trust and respect, to name a few, are also critically important aspects of a relationship.</p> <h2>Can I improve my attachment expectations?</h2> <p>The short answer: Yes! Improving attachment quality has been one of the cornerstones of attachment theory and research since its conception. Most commonly, attachment is targeted in <a href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0LCPe5CMarYi1NmqNttDcg/videos">childhood through interventions</a>, but also in adulthood through individual therapy, or various forms of couples therapy, such as <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xaHms5z-yuM">Emotionally Focused Therapy</a> or the <a href="https://www.gottman.com/about/the-gottman-method/">Gottman Method</a>.</p> <p>It is also possible that through positive relationships you may be able to improve your own expectations of relationships. There are many different avenues to explore, but improvement is always possible.</p> <p>In sum, attachment can be an important factor in romantic relationships, but it is not a “catch-all” to be blamed for why relationships may not work out. Thinking about your own expectations for relationships and talking through those with your partner may do great things in improving the quality of your relationships!  <!-- Below is The Conversation's page counter tag. Please DO NOT REMOVE. --><img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/226101/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /><!-- End of code. If you don't see any code above, please get new code from the Advanced tab after you click the republish button. The page counter does not collect any personal data. More info: https://theconversation.com/republishing-guidelines --></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/marissa-nivison-1454992">Marissa Nivison</a>, Postdoctoral Research Fellow, Department of Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-calgary-1318">University of Calgary</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/sheri-madigan-417151">Sheri Madigan</a>, Professor, Canada Research Chair in Determinants of Child Development, Owerko Centre at the Alberta Children’s Hospital Research Institute, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-calgary-1318">University of Calgary</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images </em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/is-attachment-theory-actually-important-for-romantic-relationships-226101">original article</a>.</em></p>

Relationships

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Is Valentine’s Day worth the romantic investment? Here’s what we can learn from economics

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/selma-wather-1510222">Selma Wather</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-sussex-1218">University of Sussex</a></em></p> <p>Expressing affection can be expensive. Spending on heart-shaped gifts, romantic cards, chocolates and flowers (other gifts are available) to celebrate Valentine’s Day has reached <a href="https://www.statista.com/statistics/510981/valentines-day-total-spending-great-britain/#:%7E:text=In%20the%20United%20Kingdom%20%28UK%29%20alone%2C%20Valentine%E2%80%99s%20Day,increased%20by%20just%20over%20300%20million%20British%20pounds.">close to £1 billion</a> in the UK.</p> <p>So the value of Valentine’s to retailers seems clear enough. But just how valuable is the annual ritual to consumers? What return can you expect for the money you invest in that bouquet of roses or candle lit meal?</p> <p>Broadly speaking, and depending on your relationship status, buying into Valentine’s Day traditions suggests two possible scenarios. You might be sending a card or gift to a potential partner to inform them of your interest; or you might be giving something to your current partner to remind them of your continuing love.</p> <p>Research suggests that both options have intrinsic economic value.</p> <p>For those seeking to express interest, sending a card is like dipping your toe into what economists might refer to as the “marriage market” – the search for someone you like, who likes what you have to offer in return.</p> <p>This search can happen smoothly, with plenty of information about your potential match, or it can be paved with obstacles, where you may not know much about who is available, and <a href="https://papers.ssrn.com/sol3/papers.cfm?abstract_id=1703310">learning about potential partners</a> takes time.</p> <p>So suppose you are searching for a partner, and comprehensive information about potential matches is not freely available. What do you do?</p> <p>One option might be to put all your hopes into meeting someone on your daily journey to work. You pray that one day, just like in the movies, you will simply bump into “the one”.</p> <p>A second option might be to focus your search on single work colleagues, or people you know socially, and send Valentine’s Day cards to those you are attracted to.</p> <p>The option with the highest chance of success is the second one. You are using reliable information – knowledge of who is single. And sending a card to them can provide them with important information about you – that you’re also single, and that you’re interested. This is why research suggests that sending a Valentine’s Day card can be a <a href="https://www.jstor.org/stable/2938374?origin=crossref">logical investment</a> of time and money.</p> <h2>‘Match quality’</h2> <p>Fast forward five years or so and imagine you are happily married to the recipient of one of those cards. Is it worth repeating the gesture now that you’re settled down together?</p> <p>Economists think of marriages or partnerships as having an inherent “<a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/j.1468-2354.2006.00385.x">match quality</a>”, which reflects how good (or bad) your relationship is – and the likelihood of you breaking up.</p> <p>If match quality falls below the level of happiness you might expect to have if you were to leave, a <a href="https://papers.ssrn.com/sol3/papers.cfm?abstract_id=2759255">separation may well follow</a>. But many studies also show that <a href="https://www.jstor.org/stable/2535409">match quality is malleable</a> – that it can change, for better and indeed for worse, over time.</p> <p>You can invest in trying to improve match quality in various ways. It might be starting a family, sharing hobbies and interests, or gestures such as cooking a special meal or exchanging gifts on the 14th day of February. Improving your match quality <a href="https://www.researchgate.net/publication/228431914_How_Does_the_Change_of_Marriage_Quality_Affect_Divorce_Decisions">directly reduces the probability</a> of a separation.</p> <p>Then there’s the question of commitment – the willingness to stay in a relationship rather than walking away. And again, gestures can make a difference.</p> <p>Imagine you have just started a new job, and your employer asks you to complete an intensive training session in your free time, for a skill that would only be useful for that particular role. If you expect to hold the job for a long period, you might happily invest your time. But if your employer is struggling financially and redundancy is on the cards, you are much less likely to agree to perform the task.</p> <p>Relationships work in a similar way. People are more prepared to invest in things like having children or buying a house together if they expect the relationship to last. Given that commitment is not guaranteed by a marriage certificate, people <a href="https://papers.ssrn.com/sol3/papers.cfm?abstract_id=950688">need to find other ways</a> to signal their continued devotion.</p> <p>Celebrating Valentine’s Day is one way of making such a signal. It can show faith in your shared commitment, signify that you wish to continue investing in the relationship and improve match quality, further stabilising the partnership.</p> <p>So even if deep down you think that Valentine’s Day has become over commercialised and meaningless, research suggests it makes good economic sense to send that card.<!-- Below is The Conversation's page counter tag. Please DO NOT REMOVE. --><img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/223128/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /><!-- End of code. If you don't see any code above, please get new code from the Advanced tab after you click the republish button. The page counter does not collect any personal data. More info: https://theconversation.com/republishing-guidelines --></p> <p><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/selma-wather-1510222"><em>Selma Wather</em></a><em>, Senior Lecturer in Economics, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-sussex-1218">University of Sussex</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images </em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/is-valentines-day-worth-the-romantic-investment-heres-what-we-can-learn-from-economics-223128">original article</a>.</em></p>

Money & Banking

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"Best proposal ever!" Guy Sebastian crashes romantic moment

<p>Guy Sebastian has surprised one of his biggest fans by crashing her romantic proposal with an intimate performance. </p> <p>The Australian Idol winner was called in to help Nathan, a KIISFM radio listener, propose to his girlfriend Steph, who is a huge Guy Sebastian fan. </p> <p>Nathan called into the <em>Kyle and Jackie O Show</em> and shared his plans to pop the question, and asked the radio hosts if they could help make the proposal extra special. </p> <p>The proposal began with the couple taking a romantic trip on a yacht around Sydney Harbour, as Nathan popped the question and Steph said yes. </p> <p>Unbeknownst to Steph, her day was about to become even more special. </p> <p>Sebastian had been hiding downstairs on the boat, and emerged to surprise the newly engaged couple with an intimate performance of his new song. </p> <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/reel/CyxaU_SPy1W/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/reel/CyxaU_SPy1W/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by Kyle and Jackie O (@kyleandjackieo)</a></p> </div> </blockquote> <p>“They’ve been together for about six years now,” Guy explained in a video of the moment posted to the KIISFM Instagram page.</p> <p>“Nathan’s been planning this for quite a while and he got in touch with KIIS to see if we could make it extra special for them."</p> <p>“Hopefully Steph will say yes, then I’ll be popping up and singing a stripped-back version of my song <em>I Chose Good</em>.”</p> <p>Steph was shocked and amazed when Guy emerged, as she was seen mouthing "Oh what?!" in surprise. </p> <p>The video of the emotional moment has racked up thousands of views and comments of congratulations for the couple, with Guy's wife Jules even chiming in. </p> <p>“I’m crying 😭 Congrats Nathan &amp; Steph!” she wrote.</p> <p>Others were feeling the same way, as one fan wrote,“That is just priceless! You are such an amazing human, Guy!”</p> <p>“To give someone such a fabulous special occasion that they will treasure forever. You are such a legend!”</p> <p>Another simply added, “Best proposal ever!!!”</p> <p><em>Image credits: Instagram</em></p>

Relationships

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“People don’t understand boundaries”: Woman ruins couple’s romantic proposal

<p dir="ltr">A young couple has been left devastated and mortified after their marriage proposal was crashed by an inconsiderate “Karen” on the beach. </p> <p dir="ltr">Zenicca Llanza, a 24-year-old from the Philippines, shared a video of her boyfriend getting down on one knee at the beach and asking her to marry him. </p> <p dir="ltr">Her partner had arranged a romantic set up on the beach, complete with a tent, picnic table, proposal sign, a cake and rose petals. </p> <p dir="ltr">However, when the time came for him to pop the question, a beach goer began to interfere and rearrange the set up, interrupting the romantic moment. </p> <p dir="ltr">In the video posted to TikTok, Zenicca’s partner got down on one knee and began to recite a speech, as the unnamed woman walked into shot. </p> <div><iframe title="tiktok embed" src="https://cdn.embedly.com/widgets/media.html?src=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.tiktok.com%2Fembed%2Fv2%2F7269928964536192298&amp;display_name=tiktok&amp;url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.tiktok.com%2F%40warngwarng%2Fvideo%2F7269928964536192298&amp;image=https%3A%2F%2Fp16-sign.tiktokcdn-us.com%2Fobj%2Ftos-useast5-p-0068-tx%2F80e87476646048bca323b002688ff427_1692662253%3Fx-expires%3D1692910800%26x-signature%3D2CX7o9uY0RsEB7creGyXnWP8mas%253D&amp;key=5b465a7e134d4f09b4e6901220de11f0&amp;type=text%2Fhtml&amp;schema=tiktok" width="340" height="700" frameborder="0" scrolling="no" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe></div> <p dir="ltr">She then moves the proposal sign before walking over to the couple to get a look at the ring, before Zenicca even got a chance to wear it.</p> <p dir="ltr">“How to quickly ruin a proposal,” Zenicca wrote on TikTok.</p> <p dir="ltr">“Please be mindful of other people's once in a lifetime event! You never know you're already ruining it,” she wrote.</p> <p dir="ltr">The video has racked up tens of thousands of views, with many people being outraged on Zenicca’s behalf. </p> <p dir="ltr">“You could excuse the first few seconds w good intentions but the rest I feel like we’re just really bad manners and not having any self awareness,” commented one person. </p> <p dir="ltr">“This made me physically ill. I'm so sorry omg,” added another. </p> <p dir="ltr">“Aw I could tell she had good intentions but was ignorant in the moment that she was slightly ruining something y’all would cherish forever,” commented a third.</p> <p dir="ltr">“Just tell her it’s a personal moment. Sometimes people don’t understand boundaries.”</p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Image credits: TikTok</em></p>

Relationships

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Paw-sitively hilarious finalists of the Comedy Pet Photography Awards 2023 revealed

<p>The annual Comedy Pet Photography awards have announced their finalists for the competition, proving you can always rely on your furry friends to put a smile on your face.</p> <p>The 25 finalists have snapped their pets in their silliest moments, with the paw-sitively hilarious photos making instant classics. </p> <p>The finalists for the 2023 competition captured a photo-bombing dog, a lazy cat, unlikely friends, a sneak attack, a mishap at the beach and many other funny predicaments they found their furry friends in. </p> <p>The annual competition began several years ago, when professional photographers Tom Sullam and Paul Joynson-Hicks, who already ran the Comedy Wildlife Photography Awards, wanted to branch out and bring awareness to the joy pets bring to people's lives. </p> <p>Their website shares that their mission is to "promote positive awareness of animal welfare issues and celebrate the incredible and hugely valuable contribution that pets can and do have on our lives."</p> <p>"Through the wonders of photography, we want to share the hilarious expressions, antics and naughty capers that your joyous pets get up to and share the love and laughter with the world!"</p> <p>Fans of the funny furry friends can <a href="https://www.comedypetphoto.com/peoples-choice-award/vote-peoples-choice-award.php" target="_blank" rel="noopener">vote</a> on their favourite pic to determine the winner of the People's Choice Award for the 2023 competition. </p> <p><em>All image credits: Comedy Pet Photography Awards</em></p>

Family & Pets

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Johnny Ruffo’s romantic getaway

<p dir="ltr">Johnny Ruffo and his girlfriend Tahnee have delighted fans with a series of stunning pics from their New Zealand getaway.</p> <p dir="ltr">The lovebirds took to Instagram to share multiple snaps from their adventure.</p> <p dir="ltr">Ruffo couldn’t hide his awe as he happily posed in front of a beautiful mountain in Queenstown from the deck of their accommodation.</p> <p dir="ltr">In another photo, the former <em>Home and Away</em> star - who is battling terminal cancer - wowed fans as he proudly shared video footage of the snow-capped mountains from a helicopter.</p> <p dir="ltr">The star was clearly obsessed with the surreal views as he also posted a photo of himself posing by the water with the mountains in the background.</p> <p dir="ltr">“Freezing cold but worth it for these views 🏔️🏔️🏔️,” he captioned the post.</p> <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/CutKhhFr9VD/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #F4F4F4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/CutKhhFr9VD/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by Johnny Ruffo (@johnny_ruffo)</a></p> </div> </blockquote> <p dir="ltr">His girlfriend was as equally giddy about the trip as she posted a photo of herself on the mountains with the caption: “I think I might be a Winter girl at heart 🥶🥹🫶🏼”</p> <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/CutK9DFxVmW/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/CutK9DFxVmW/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by Tahnee Sims (@tahneesims)</a></p> </div> </blockquote> <p dir="ltr">She also shared a selfie with her beau in matching beanies, and a little clip of them relaxing in the hot tub as they clinked their glasses.</p> <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/CuwD4uNxMJI/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/CuwD4uNxMJI/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by Tahnee Sims (@tahneesims)</a></p> </div> </blockquote> <p dir="ltr">The Home and Away star finally caught a well-deserved break as the pictures shared gave fans a glimpse into the sweet dates the couple went on for their romantic getaway.</p> <p dir="ltr">Friends and followers took to the comments to share their love for the couple.</p> <p dir="ltr">“What an amazing experience lovelies. Hope you’re having a great time 🥰👏🥂🥳😘,” Ruffo’s close friend and former <em>Home and Away</em> co-star Lynne McGranger wrote.</p> <p dir="ltr">“Absolutely loving these pics what an incredible adventure ❤️” wrote one fan.</p> <p dir="ltr">“Johnny, I hope you &amp; Tahnee are having the best time ever, that looks absolutely stunning guys. Much love &amp; happiness to you both,” commented another.</p> <p dir="ltr">“The best place. So beautiful, enjoy that cold air, hot tub and beautiful views,” wrote a third.</p> <p dir="ltr">“Beautiful couple so much love ❤️” commented a fourth.</p> <p><em>Images: Instagram</em></p>

International Travel

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Warnie stars hospitalised after romantic romp goes painfully wrong

<p dir="ltr">The stars of Channel Nine’s <em>Warnie</em> miniseries have quite the emergency room story to share after filming a sex scene for the show hit them for six. </p> <p dir="ltr">Alex Williams and Marny Kennedy - the pair embodying the late Shane Warne and his ex-wife Simone Callahan on screen - were filming in Melbourne late in 2022 when the incident occurred. </p> <p dir="ltr">And while they can see the funny side of it all now, at the time it was a far more embarrassing - and injury-stricken - affair. </p> <p dir="ltr">As Kennedy told <em>The Daily Telegraph</em>, the two had been filming “a little makeout scene” - set back when Shane and Simone were in their younger years - when things took a turn. </p> <p dir="ltr">She detailed how they had been going down a corridor, and “were meant to push into the bedroom and land on the bed”. But, unfortunately for the pair, they didn’t heed the Warne-ing, and instead they “both completely missed the bed. </p> <p dir="ltr">“Alex cracked the back of his head open and I broke my right wrist.”</p> <p dir="ltr">Kennedy shared that they “ended up sitting in the emergency room together”, and that his head was wrapped in a bandage, while her wrist was strapped. </p> <p dir="ltr">To add to their situation, Kennedy said, “it was not like a normal hospital either, it was more of a place for the elderly, so it was just Alex and I with our bleached hair, fully still in wardrobe, sitting there surrounded by elderly residents.”</p> <p dir="ltr">Despite their injuries, and any lingering embarrassment, the co-stars - who had also been friends for a decade at that point - returned to set the very next day to get on with the job. </p> <p dir="ltr">Kennedy didn’t reveal whether or not anyone had taken the opportunity to adorn her cast with a Golden Duck, but that there had been some banter on set in the wake of their accident, with the actress revealing that “we took a photo of ourselves in the emergency room and then printed it onto mugs and that was our wrap [end of filming] gift to a lot of the crew."</p> <p dir="ltr">It is believed that the two-part series will go to air later in June, regardless of <a href="https://www.oversixty.com.au/entertainment/tv/let-him-rest-in-peace-viewers-slam-shane-warne-miniseries">the public outcry when the trailer first dropped during the 2023 State of Origin series</a>. </p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Images: Screentime</em></p>

TV

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Two decades of Kath & Kim

<p dir="ltr">It has been 21 years since<em> Kath &amp; Kim</em> graced the screens and became one of Australia’s most beloved series.</p> <p dir="ltr">Arguably one of the most quotable TV shows, it saw Gina Riley and Jane Turner rise to fame.</p> <p dir="ltr">Turner, who plays Kath in the hit comedy, became a representative for the United Nations during and after the show, travelling to refugee camps and assisting charity efforts in Africa.</p> <p dir="ltr">She then made her theatrical debut in London in 2021, performing in the Aussie play, <em>Holding the Man</em>.</p> <p dir="ltr">Her real-life personality isn’t so similar to Kath, "I'm actually quite a shy person, quite reserved," she told The Age in 2004.</p> <p dir="ltr">"I hate seeing myself on film and hearing my voice ... It's quite hard to be yourself, I think. Maybe that's why a lot of actors are actors – because they get to cover up and hide.”</p> <p dir="ltr">Turner is now 62 and married with three children.</p> <p dir="ltr">As for Kim, Gina Riley appeared in the drama series <em>The Beautiful Lie</em> and the comedy <em>Please Like Me</em>.</p> <p dir="ltr">She also starred in a stage adaptation of Alfred Hitchcock’s classic spy thriller North by Northwest in 2015. She’s also appeared in stage adaptations of Into the Woods and Chicago.</p> <p dir="ltr">In 2013, Riley revealed she was diagnosed with breast cancer. It was fortunately caught early and she made a full recovery post-treatment.</p> <p dir="ltr">Riley, 62, is married to Rick McKenna and they share a daughter Maddie, who is also an actress. </p> <p><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c49a65f-7fff-a72e-ae5b-f055659de420"></span></p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Image credit: Getty</em></p>

TV

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"I've been attacked": Barry Humphries' response to Comedy Festival incident

<p>Anti-trans campaigner Graham Linehan has shared an email he received from the late Barry Humphries in the response to the fallout from the Melbourne International Comedy Festival incident. </p> <p>In 2019, Humphries name was removed from one of the key awards at the annual comedy festival after he made comments ridiculing transgender people, included labelling gender affirmation surgery as “self-mutilation”.</p> <p>In an interview in 2018, Humphries branded being transgender “a fashion” and criticised teachers who support trans youth in schools, declaring it a "pretty evil" practice. </p> <p>As a result, the Melbourne International Comedy Festival, which was partly founded by Humphries, renamed their 'Barry Award' amid the controversy. </p> <p>Now, just days after Humphries passing, writer and anti-trans campaigner Graham Linehan has shared an email he allegedly received from Humphries after the renaming of the award. </p> <p>The email purportedly from Humphries said, “Thanks for your letter. I’ve been banned by the Melbourne Comedy Festival which Peter Cook and I launched! I’ve been attacked and branded fascist and ‘transphobic’ by the ‘they’ brigade, and accused of racism by people who have never met an [Indigenous person]."</p> <p>“That actors who have become rich and famous by performing in JKR’s plays and films and then vindictively excoriated her, seems to me a cowardly betrayal. Thanks for writing to me and good luck against a powerful and malign foe.”</p> <p>Humphries appears to be referring to J.K. Rowling by “JKR”, as the <em>Harry Potter</em> creator is one of the most high-profile anti-trans campaigners and refers to herself as “TERF”, an acronym for “trans-exclusionary radical feminist”.</p> <p>Linehan co-created TV comedies including <em>Father Ted</em>, <em>Black Books</em> and <em>The IT Crowd</em> but has in recent years become better known for his strident anti-trans views.</p> <p>In the wake of Humphries’ death, the Melbourne International Comedy Festival’s 2019 decision has come under attack by some commentators, who accused the festival of “cancelling” the comedian.</p> <p>However, festival’s director Susan Provan defended the organisation for their decision, while also paying tribute to Humphries' influence on comedy. </p> <p>She told ABC radio in Melbourne, “We’ve never cancelled Barry Humphries. There seems to be some misconceptions going on around there. We changed the name of an award, which… was the right decision to make when we did that."</p> <p>“We have celebrated, and continue to celebrate Barry, an incredible comedian, comic artists, who took Australian comedy global. We will always celebrate that he was amazing. And we really value his contribution to the comedy festival too.”</p> <p>Provan added the decision had been made in 2019 because Humphries’ “comments did not reflect the values of our community”.</p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p>

News

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10 romantic lines from literature

<p>It’s time to get sentimental with these lines about love from literature’s greatest authors.</p> <p>1. “You pierce my soul. I am half agony, half hope. Tell me not that I am too late, that such precious feelings are gone for ever. I offer myself to you again with a heart even more your own than when you almost broke it, eight years and a half ago. Dare not say that man forgets sooner than woman, that his love has an earlier death. I have loved none but you.” – <em>Persuasion</em> by Jane Austen</p> <p> 2. “To <em>love</em> or have loved, that is enough. Ask nothing further. There is no other pearl to be found in the dark folds of life.” – <em>Les Misérables</em> by Victor Hugo</p> <p>3. “Whatever the souls are made of, his and mine are same.” – <em>Wuthering Heights</em> by Emily Bronte</p> <p>4. “You and I, it’s as though we have been taught to kiss in heaven and sent down to earth together, to see if we know what we were taught.” – <em>Doctor Zhivago</em> by Boris Pasternak</p> <p>5. “When you fall in love, it is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake, and then it subsides. And when it subsides, you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots are to become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the desire to mate every second of the day. It is not lying awake at night imagining that he is kissing every part of your body. No ... don't blush. I am telling you some truths. For that is just being in love; which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over, when being in love has burned away. Doesn't sound very exciting, does it? But it is!" – <em>Captain Corelli's Mandolin</em> by Louis de Bernières</p> <p>6. “I have waited for this opportunity for more than half a century, to repeat to you once again my vow of eternal fidelity and everlasting love.” – <em>Love In The Time Of Cholera</em> by Gabriel García Márquez</p> <p>7. “He stepped down, trying not to look long at her, as if she were the sun, yet he saw her, like the sun, even without looking.” – <em>Anna Karenina</em> by Leo Tolstoy</p> <p>8. "All this gladness in life, all honest pride in doing my work in the world, all this keen sense of being, I owe to her!" And it doubles the gladness, it makes the pride glow, it sharpens the sense of existence till I hardly know if it is pain or pleasure, to think that I owe it to one - nay, you must, you shall hear" - said he, stepping forwards with stern determination - "to one whom I love, as I do not believe man ever loved woman before." – <em>North and South</em> by Elizabeth Gaskell</p> <p>9. “You know what I am going to say. I love you. What other men may mean when they use that expression, I cannot tell; what I mean is, that I am under the influence of some tremendous attraction which I have resisted in vain, and which overmasters me. You could draw me to fire, you could draw me to water, you could draw me to the gallows, you could draw me to any death, you could draw me to anything I have most avoided, you could draw me to any exposure and disgrace. This and the confusion of my thoughts, so that I am fit for nothing, is what I mean by your being the ruin of me. But if you would return a favourable answer to my offer of myself in marriage, you could draw me to any good - every good - with equal force.” – <em>Our Mutual Friend</em> by Charles Dickens</p> <p>10. “It is better to love wisely, no doubt: but to love foolishly is better than not to be able to love at all.” – <em>Vanity Fair</em> by William Makepeace Thackeray</p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p>

Books

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Have you found ‘the one’? How mindsets about destiny affect our romantic relationships

<p>If you listen to any number of love songs, dating “experts”, or plunge head first into a romance novel, you’re likely to think it’s in our destiny to find that special someone – your soul-mate.</p> <p>But how do you know if you’ve found “the one”? Will the birds sing? Will you see fireworks or a shooting star?</p> <p>And for those who are yet to find “the one”, should you keep searching, or is it a misguided quest?</p> <p>Research into the science of relationships spanning the last two decades shows maintaining a “<a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1207/S15327957PSPR0701_3">destiny</a>” mindset – that we are all <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1207/S15327957PSPR0701_3">meant to find that ideal person</a> who completes us in every way – can be problematic for our love lives.</p> <p>Destiny mindsets affect how we <a href="https://psycnet.apa.org/record/1997-38975-006">evaluate romantic partners</a>, as well as how we maintain <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/1475-6811.09401">lasting relationships</a>.</p> <p>For some, this mindset can even include a mental picture as to what that person should look like.</p> <h2>What are the costs of a mindset?</h2> <p>A destiny mindset may make a person less open to developing a relationship with someone who possesses many excellent qualities, but does not match an individual’s mental picture of “the one”.</p> <p>A person who holds a destiny mindset may be more likely to focus on the potential faults or inadequacies of another, for example, rather than centre on their good qualities.</p> <p>On the other hand, a person may not pursue a potential love interest in the hope that something better comes along that matches their vision of destiny. By maintaining a destiny mindset, they may reject real <a href="https://scholarship.richmond.edu/honors-theses/487/">opportunities at finding love</a>.</p> <p>For those in an existing relationship, maintaining a destiny mindset can be associated with relationship satisfaction, if the current relationship closely (if not perfectly) matches one’s idea.</p> <p>But if the relationship is not in line with one’s vision of destiny, or if the relationship is evaluated as no longer matching one’s destiny, <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0146167201277004">dissatisfaction can ensue</a>.</p> <p>Research suggests people who hold a destiny mindset don’t work as hard at their <a href="https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2012-32735-009">relationships</a> because they have a very fixed view of their partner and relationship. They tend to accept things the way they are – <a href="https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2006-04109-008">either a relationship is meant to be or it is not</a> – rather than putting in time and effort to make relationships things work and <a href="https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2012-32735-009">deal with relationship problems</a>.</p> <h2>Is there a better alternative?</h2> <p>In contrast to a destiny mindset, some people hold a “growth relationship” mindset. This includes beliefs and expectations that a partner and relationship has the capacity to develop and change over time, and that <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1207/S15327957PSPR0701_3">problems or challenges can be overcome</a>.</p> <p>Research to date suggests a growth mindset is associated with more effective ways of coping with relationship challenges and using more <a href="https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2012-32735-009">problem-solving to deal with relationship difficulties</a>.</p> <p>People with a growth mindset experience various positives such as greater <a href="https://psycnet.apa.org/record/1997-38975-006">relationship</a> and <a href="https://psycnet.apa.org/fulltext/2016-52940-001.html">sexual satisfaction</a> and have a better, more constructive way of handling <a href="https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2012-32735-009">conflict</a>. A growth mindset has also been found to reduce the risk of <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/1475-6811.09401">a relationship ending</a>.</p> <h2>Can you have both?</h2> <p>Some people recount meeting their partner and knowing they were “the one”. But when describing how their relationship has progressed over time, it’s clear they put time and effort into it and work on problems when they arise.</p> <p>These people may hold beliefs about destiny, but overall, hold more of a growth mindset about their relationship.</p> <p>These couples often acknowledge their partner and relationship has changed, for example, and often note that they’ve helped each other develop and grow over time.</p> <p>So if you work hard at your relationship, and you and your partner help one another develop and grow, you may get to know each other so well that you feel as if you share one soul. Maybe that’s what is meant by a true soul-mate.</p> <p><em>Image credit: Shutterstock</em></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/have-you-found-the-one-how-mindsets-about-destiny-affect-our-romantic-relationships-117177" target="_blank" rel="noopener">This article originally appeared on Reader's Digest.</a></em></p>

Relationships

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“I thought you needed a morale boost”: Tom Gleeson’s rough review for The Project

<p>Tom Gleeson has built a name for himself with his particular brand of comedy - sarcastic and dry, it’s a rare sight to behold when a sincere moment breaks through. </p> <p>But that’s exactly what happened when the stand-up comedian and host of <em>Taskmaster Australia </em>stopped by The Project for a chat, surprising everyone when he seized an opportunity to sing his praises for the show’s new line-up. </p> <p>“It's no surprise that he [Tom] finds it very weird to be nice,” <em>The Project</em>’s official Twitter account wrote when sharing a clip of his segment, “and he tried it on us.”</p> <p>“I like making fun of comedians, that’s always a treat. But I can be nice as well,” Tom began, “but it’s off-putting. Would you like to see me be nice?” </p> <p>The panel were eager to accept the unexpected offer, with Tom then informing them, “it’s weird, I’m loving the new <em>Project</em>. It’s great! I love it.” </p> <p>When one remarked that it “still sounded mean”, Tom agreed that it didn’t sound right, and decided the next best thing was to compliment them all. </p> <p>“What’s not to like about this show?” he asked. “We’ve got Liz, you know, a legend of Australian sports. Sarah Harris who’s a natural on camera, I’ve always loved you since I saw you on <em>Studio 10</em>. We’ve got Waleed, an intellectual with - you know - political opinions that are hard to pin down. We’ve got Sam who’s the best comedian of his generation - I’ve seen his act, it’s amazing.” </p> <p>This time, the panel believed him, gushing over the nice words to a round of applause from the live studio audience. </p> <p>Tom again admitted that it was weird for him, and when he was asked if it was bad for his reputation to say such things, he said, “well, to be honest, I only said it ‘cause I’ve seen your ratings and I thought you needed a morale boost.” </p> <p>Thankfully, the hosts - and the audience - saw the funny side, bursting into laughter while Tom declared that it felt better to be “back to normal.” </p> <blockquote class="twitter-tweet"> <p dir="ltr" lang="en">.<a href="https://twitter.com/nonstoptom?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">@NonStopTom</a> holds two of the meanest positions on TV, Hard Quizmaster and Taskmaster, so it's no surprise that he finds it very weird to be nice… and he tried it on us.<a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/TheProjectTV?src=hash&amp;ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#TheProjectTV</a> <a href="https://t.co/5DL5FCj9vQ">pic.twitter.com/5DL5FCj9vQ</a></p> <p>— The Project (@theprojecttv) <a href="https://twitter.com/theprojecttv/status/1635923339544784897?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">March 15, 2023</a></p></blockquote> <p>However, the new ‘normal’ for <em>The Project </em>drives Tom’s joke a little too close to home. Over the course of a year, the talk show’s broadcast audience numbers have seen a sizeable drop - almost 100,000 down.</p> <p>While shows across multiple Australian networks have been hit with a viewership slump, <em>The Project</em>’s coincides with the departure of hosts Carrie Bickmore, Peter Helliar, and Lisa Wilkinson. </p> <p>It was only in 2023 that the show locked in the new line-up of Waleed Aly, Sarah Harris, Georgie Tunny, Michael Hing, Sam Taunton, and Hamish MacDonald. </p> <p>A panel that Tom Gleeson, at least, is a fan of. </p> <p><em>Images: Channel 10 </em></p>

TV

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The real qualities to look for in love

<p>You know the feeling when you meet someone special – that spark of attraction, the instant passion and the buzzing chemistry? It is an amazing feeling but how do you distinguish between that feeling of attraction and the one of love? It’s one of the trickiest questions around because often what attracts us does not necessarily lead to an enduring relationship. While we all have personal qualities we seek in a life partner, there are a few qualities everyone should seek in a potential partner for life.</p> <p><strong>Honesty</strong></p> <p>Honesty is the key to trust between any two people. Trust builds a strong, healthy and long-lasting relationship. Dishonesty and deception tears relationships apart so seek a partner who is honest, where what they say is what they do. Someone who acts with integrity is someone you know you can rely on.</p> <p><strong>Respectful</strong></p> <p>Even if you have separate interests and opinions (which most couples do), your partner should not only respect it but support it. You want someone who is respectful of your desires and needs even if they do not necessarily agree. A life partner is not someone who tries to control you, your behaviour or your actions. They value and respect you for who you are.</p> <p><strong>Openness </strong></p> <p>When you are in a loving relationships, both people can be completely open and willing to be vulnerable. You should be comfortable with sharing everything with your partner and not be afraid of being judged. Both of you will be open to talking about yourself, the other person and the good (and bad) parts of the relationship.</p> <p><strong>Supportive</strong></p> <p>Your love should be the person who builds you up, not tears you down. They nurture you when you’re at your most vulnerable and support you at your strongest. There is no jealousy, there is no competition and there is no trying to outdo each other. You want the best for one another, always.</p> <p><strong>Affectionate</strong></p> <p>Someone who truly loves you will not be afraid to show you. This doesn’t mean grand romantic gesture or PDA (public displays of affection) – it just means they show you in their personal way how much they love you. They are completely open to giving and receiving affection.</p> <p><em>Image: Getty</em></p>

Relationships

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10 best couples cruises for a romantic holiday at sea

<p>What could be more romantic than spending a week at sea on a gorgeous ship with your honey, taking in spectacular views while indulging in over-the-top spa treatments and decadent, all-you-can-eat food? On the best cruises for couples, you get to experience so many exciting new sights, sounds and tastes together, you’re likely to fall in love with each other all over again. In fact, cruising is so romantic that thousands of couples actually get married, honeymoon and renew their vows onboard ships annually.</p> <p>here are romantic short cruises, all-inclusive cruises, adults-only cruises and even cruises that sail around the world. So, with all the great options out there, how do you choose the best cruise for the two of you? We’ve come up with a list of the best cruises for every type of traveller – times two! – to ensure you have fun together and don’t end up having to look for singles cruises instead!</p> <h3>Best overall cruise – Viking Cruises</h3> <p>Which company offers the best cruises for couples? Thanks to its small ships, impeccable service and adults-only policy, Viking earns that title, offering amazing cruises for lovebirds of all ages. You’ll feel like you’re at one of the best adults-only, all-inclusive resorts – except that you’ll have stunning views at sea. Every stateroom features its own private veranda, perfect for cosying up and watching the world go by, but don’t miss afternoon tea in the lovely Wintergarden. Whether you’re heading to Hawaii or the Mediterranean, a shore excursion in every port is also included in your fare, and after each one, you’ll want to relax in your robes in the spa’s Scandinavian-inspired thermal suite and talk about everything you experienced.</p> <p>In addition to award-winning ocean cruises, Viking is renowned for its river cruises and recently introduced expedition ships. Now, well-travelled couples can fulfil their bucket list trip to Antarctica knowing their favourite cruise line – like their partner – has their back.</p> <div class="slide-image" style="box-sizing: border-box; border: 0px; font-family: Raleway, sans-serif, Arial; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; color: #444444; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-color: initial;"> </div> <h3>Best megaship cruise – Celebrity Cruises</h3> <p>Although Celebrity ships hold thousands of guests, they’re so thoughtfully designed with cosy nooks and corners that they have a surprisingly intimate feel, which is why they may end up being your favourite cruises. That’s especially true for the Edge series ships, the newest in the fleet, which include the recently launched Beyond, a wonder in and of itself. Beyond fully lives up to its name, especially if you upgrade to the Retreat, an exclusive ship within a ship that will make you feel like, well, a celebrity. It includes a beautiful, roomy suite with your own veranda and also grants you access to a private sundeck, lounge and restaurant conducive to more intimate conversations. For the perfect date night, be sure to make a dinner reservation at Le Voyage, the first restaurant at sea from Michelin-starred chef Daniel Boulud, before heading off to a Broadway-quality show.</p> <p>No worries if you’re not on Beyond. Every Celebrity ship is filled with fantastic dining options, and on Edge series ships, you can enjoy dinner alfresco on the Magic Carpet, so seriously, what are you waiting for?</p> <div class="slide-image" style="box-sizing: border-box; border: 0px; font-family: Raleway, sans-serif, Arial; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; color: #444444; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-color: initial;"> </div> <h3>Best cruise for getting married or renewing your vows – Princess Cruises</h3> <p>Nicknamed “The Love Boat” in honour of the iconic TV show that was filmed on one of its ships, Princess is all about amore, and it just may be the most romantic cruise line. Embracing that legacy of love, it offers personalised wedding packages for couples who want to tie the knot at sea and recently set a Guinness World Record for the largest multi-location vow renewal. A dating reality show, The Real Love Boat, was also filmed aboard the Regal Princess and debuts in late 2022.</p> <p>But even if you’re not thinking about marriage yet or you’ve been married for years, you’ll want to cuddle under a blanket together to watch Movies Under the Stars or book an Ultimate Balcony Dining experience for a private champagne breakfast for two. Whatever you choose to do, love is in the air!</p> <div class="slide-image" style="box-sizing: border-box; border: 0px; font-family: Raleway, sans-serif, Arial; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; color: #444444; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-color: initial;"> </div> <h3>Best traditional cruise – Cunard Line</h3> <p>With ships named after Queen Mary, Queen Elizabeth and Queen Victoria, it’s no wonder couples get the royal treatment on Cunard. The 180-year-old cruise line’s rich history is evident throughout each Art Deco-influenced ship, and there’s a touch of glamour that celebrates the Golden Age of cruising and will inspire you to celebrate each other. Some good cruise advice? Opt for a magical transatlantic cruise to stay on the ship 24/7 and take advantage of everything from enriching lectures to lazy days in the spa’s thermal suite. Pack your formalwear for the Gala Evening that’s a highlight of each cruise, and spend the night dancing cheek to cheek.</p> <div class="slide-image" style="box-sizing: border-box; border: 0px; font-family: Raleway, sans-serif, Arial; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; color: #444444; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-color: initial;"> </div> <h3>Best luxury cruise – Seabourn Cruises</h3> <p>With an oceanfront view from every room and all-inclusive fare, Seabourn is worth the splurge for a romantic getaway. Your Personal Suite Steward will attend to your every need, even drawing a Pure Pampering bath for two. You’ll also dine in style, choosing between award-winning venues serving everything from steak and sushi to tableside preparations of caesar salad and ice cream sundaes. In each port, Seabourn categorises its shore excursions into collections, so you can experience a destination the way the two of you want to, whether you’re more into culture, wellness or adventure. The only issue is that you may never want to leave the ship.</p> <div class="slide-image" style="box-sizing: border-box; border: 0px; font-family: Raleway, sans-serif, Arial; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; color: #444444; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-color: initial;"> </div> <h3>Best midsize cruise – Holland America Line</h3> <p>Many couples prefer midsize cruises because they offer the intimacy of a small ship with more activities. Holland America is a great choice, featuring lovely spaces like Silk Den Lounge and the Pinnacle Bar, where you can while away a couple of hours enjoying each other’s company with a cool drink in hand. Enjoy live entertainment at B.B. King’s Blues Club, Lincoln Center Stage and Billboard Onboard, and take part in Port to Table food and wine tastings and cooking demonstrations. All these experiences will enrich your cruise and your memories together.</p> <p>FYI, despite its name, Holland offers a wealth of itineraries for couples cruises, covering destinations from Alaska to Zanzibar.</p> <div class="slide-image" style="box-sizing: border-box; border: 0px; font-family: Raleway, sans-serif, Arial; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; color: #444444; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-color: initial;"> </div> <h3>Best cruise for younger couples – Virgin Voyages</h3> <p>Richard Branson’s adults-only cruise line is young and hip. An oasis on the ocean, Virgin Voyages are the best cruises for millennial couples, whether you’re heading to the Greek Islands or the Caribbean ones. Every night can be date night, with more than 20 all-included eateries featuring everything from Korean BBQ to veggie-forward dining. Don’t worry – you can work off the calories in a wide variety of unlimited fitness classes, whether you prefer the intensity of indoor cycling or the zen of yoga.</p> <p>Choose the soundtrack to your cruise at Voyage Vinyl, an onboard record store, where you’re likely to find your song. And commemorate your romantic vacation by getting matching tattoos at Squid Ink, the first tattoo shop at sea. Have cruises recovered from COVID? We’d say yes!</p> <div class="slide-image" style="box-sizing: border-box; border: 0px; font-family: Raleway, sans-serif, Arial; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; color: #444444; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-color: initial;"> </div> <h3>Best cruise for older couples – Silversea Cruises</h3> <p>You won’t find lots of partiers on a Silversea cruise, but you will find lots of happy couples enjoying the ships’ understated luxury … and each other. It’s impossible not to feel special when you have your own suite with your own personal butler tending to your every need. (And FYI, all Silversea accommodations are suites.) Full dinners can even be served, course by course, in your cabin, white tablecloth and all. And because the all-inclusive pricing features wine, champagne and top-shelf spirits, you’ll find yourselves raising a glass – or two or three – to your love and your wise decision to book this couples cruise.</p> <div class="slide-image" style="box-sizing: border-box; border: 0px; font-family: Raleway, sans-serif, Arial; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; color: #444444; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-color: initial;"> </div> <h3>Best cruise for active couples – Royal Caribbean International</h3> <p>Royal Caribbean has always been known for its multitude of options, which have expanded even further with its launch of Wonder of the Seas, the world’s largest cruise ship. It’s like a city in itself, boasting eight unique “neighbourhoods,” including one exclusively for Royal Suite Class guests. There is so much for couples to do throughout the ship’s 18 decks, from walking through the plant-filled Central Park, riding the zip line and trying the FlowRider surf simulator to sipping cocktails at the cantilevered Vue Bar. On many of Royal Caribbean’s other ships, including Harmony of the Seas, you can opt for ice skating and dance lessons.</p> <div class="slide-image" style="box-sizing: border-box; border: 0px; font-family: Raleway, sans-serif, Arial; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; color: #444444; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-color: initial;"> </div> <h3>Best budget cruise for couples – Carnival Cruise Lines</h3> <p>Because Carnival has a reputation as a party boat, people often ask, “Is Carnival good for couples?” The answer is yes, and the truth is, with the right partner, any cruise ship can be romantic. Carnival also happens to be fun and value-priced, which comes in handy if you didn’t book a cruise when they’re the cheapest (often, that’s in the off-season, like right after the holidays). Carnival gives you the opportunity to channel your inner child and scream your way down the waterslides, laugh your head off at the R-rated comedy club sets and chill in the Serenity Adult-Only Retreat – all on the same cruise. And, as the saying goes, the couple that plays together stays together.</p> <p>This article originally appeared on <a href="https://www.readersdigest.com.au/travel/10-best-couples-cruises-for-a-romantic-holiday-at-sea" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Reader's Digest</a>.</p> <p><em>Image: Getty</em></p> <div class="slide-image" style="box-sizing: border-box; border: 0px; font-family: Raleway, sans-serif, Arial; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; color: #444444; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-color: initial;"> </div>

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How asexuals navigate romantic relationships

<p><a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/00224490409552235" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Though an estimated 1% of people identify as asexual</a> – a sexual orientation most commonly defined as lacking sexual attraction – asexual people remain relatively invisible and are rarely researched. For these reasons, they’re frequently subjected to <a href="https://doi.org/10.1080/19419899.2013.774162" target="_blank" rel="noopener">discrimination and stereotyping</a>.</p> <p>For example, it’s often assumed that all people who are asexual are also “aromantic” – that they aren’t interested in being in romantic relationships or aren’t capable of doing so.</p> <p>However, that couldn’t be further from the truth. Asexuality exists on a spectrum, and there is a wide range in how the members of this group <a href="https://doi.org/10.1111/1467-954X.12362" target="_blank" rel="noopener">experience sexuality and romance</a>.</p> <p><a href="https://www.doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2022.912978" target="_blank" rel="noopener">In a recently published study</a> that I conducted with several Michigan State faculty members and other research associates, we surveyed people on the asexual spectrum who were currently in romantic relationships. We wanted to learn more about how asexuals experience romantic relationships and bring attention to their experiences – many of which, it turns out, aren’t all that different from those of people who aren’t on the asexual spectrum.</p> <h2>The invisible sexuality</h2> <p>Outside of <a href="https://www.researchgate.net/scientific-contributions/Alexandra-Brozowski-2230892618" target="_blank" rel="noopener">my work as a psychology researcher</a>, I am a member of the asexual community.</p> <p>Specifically, I am a heteroromantic <a href="https://demisexuality.org/articles/what-is-gray-asexuality/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">gray-asexual</a>: I am someone who feels romantic attraction to people of other sexes or genders, but experiences fluctuating or limited sexual attractions.</p> <p>Yet in existing research, I found few examples of people like me. Most studies seem to focus on people who are completely asexual, not in the gray area.</p> <p>In popular media, asexuals rarely even appear at all. <a href="https://www.themiamihurricane.com/2019/10/30/on-asexuality-the-big-bang-theory-and-representation/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">When they do</a>, they’re often portrayed as weird, robotic and incapable of love. In mainstream culture, there’s also an element of denialism, with many people believing that asexuality is impossible – that those who identify as asexual must have something wrong with them, such as hormonal issues. Perhaps they simply “<a href="https://medium.com/@acegirl/being-asexual-does-not-mean-we-havent-found-the-right-person-yet-459eb3938312" target="_blank" rel="noopener">haven’t found the right person</a>” or need to “try harder.”</p> <p>So this study was born out of my experiences as a person on the asexual spectrum, which is why it was so important for me to address all the different asexuals out there and give a voice to my own community.</p> <p>Many asexual people choose to be in relationships; they just may go about the process differently. Some might participate in <a href="https://www.brook.org.uk/your-life/non-monogamous-relationships/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">non-monogamous relationships</a>. Others might be forced to disclose their identities and preferences in different ways, wondering when – if ever – they should open up about it to potential partners, fearing that the reactions could be less than positive and lead to relationship difficulties.</p> <p>However, many asexuals relate to the <a href="https://www.gsrc.princeton.edu/split-attraction#:%7E:text=According%20to%20the%20split%20attraction,the%20same%20for%20some%20people." target="_blank" rel="noopener">Split Attraction Model</a>, which is a theory that shows how romantic and sexual attraction are two distinct experiences, and therefore, one can experience sex without love and love without sex. With this in mind, it is possible for asexuals to identify with a romantic orientation and pursue romantic relationships, since these are different experiences.</p> <h2>Relationships centered on romance</h2> <p>For our study, we looked exactly at this split and surveyed 485 people who self-identified as being on the asexual spectrum and were currently in a romantic relationship.</p> <p>The participants identified as heteroromantic, biromantic, homoromantic, panromantic and more, showing significant diversity among the romantic interests of this group. We then asked them about their relationship satisfaction, their level of investment in the relationship and how they viewed the quality of alternatives to their relationship.</p> <p>Additionally, we explored their <a href="https://www.attachmentproject.com/blog/four-attachment-styles/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">attachment orientation</a>. This is defined as the way in which people approach their close relationships. It’s usually formed in childhood and is a pattern that continues into adulthood. People tend to either exhibit an “anxious attachment style,” which is often characterized by feeling worried about abandonment and being anxious about losing the relationship; an “avoidant attachment style,” which means someone may push people away or fear emotional intimacy; or a “secure attachment style,” which is when people feel secure in their emotions and can maintain long-lasting relationships.</p> <p>Ultimately, our results were generally consistent with <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/1475-6811.00035" target="_blank" rel="noopener">previous work</a> on relationships in all of their forms. As with those relationships, we found that asexual people who were more satisfied and more invested were more committed in their relationships. When they weren’t pining for other people or didn’t see being alone as a better alternative, their relationships tended to flourish.</p> <p>Attachment orientation patterns were also generally consistent with past research on other sexuality groups. Much like <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/j.1475-6811.2012.01423.x" target="_blank" rel="noopener">work done</a> on other relationships, avoidant asexual individuals were also less committed, satisfied and invested in their relationships, as one would expect.</p> <p>However, there were also some inconsistencies with past research. For example, among asexual people, an anxious attachment style actually correlated to higher commitment and satisfaction. The opposite tends to occur in other types of <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4939067/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">relationships.</a></p> <p>Nonetheless, I hope this research will help normalize the idea that asexuals can thrive in romantic relationships. It turns out that asexuals can experience romantic love as much as other sexual orientations do: with the same opportunities for joy and growth, the same challenges of navigating conflict and compromise, and the same possibility of a lifelong commitment.</p> <p><strong>This article originally appeared on <a href="https://theconversation.com/how-asexuals-navigate-romantic-relationships-192685" target="_blank" rel="noopener">The Conversation</a>.</strong></p> <p><em>Image: Shutterstock</em></p>

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10 best couples cruises for a romantic holiday at sea

<p><strong>The best cruises for couples you’ll want to book now</strong></p> <p>What could be more romantic than spending a week at sea on a gorgeous ship with your honey, taking in spectacular views while indulging in over-the-top spa treatments and decadent, all-you-can-eat food? On the best cruises for couples, you get to experience so many exciting new sights, sounds and tastes together, you’re likely to fall in love with each other all over again. In fact, cruising is so romantic that thousands of couples actually get married, honeymoon and renew their vows onboard ships annually.</p> <p>There are romantic short cruises, all-inclusive cruises, adults-only cruises and even cruises that sail around the world. So, with all the great options out there, how do you choose the best cruise for the two of you? We’ve come up with a list of the best cruises for every type of traveller – times two! – to ensure you have fun together and don’t end up having to look for singles cruises instead!</p> <p><strong>Best overall cruise – Viking Cruises</strong></p> <p>Which company offers the best cruises for couples? Thanks to its small ships, impeccable service and adults-only policy, Viking earns that title, offering amazing cruises for lovebirds of all ages. You’ll feel like you’re at one of the best adults-only, all-inclusive resorts – except that you’ll have stunning views at sea. Every stateroom features its own private veranda, perfect for cosying up and watching the world go by, but don’t miss afternoon tea in the lovely Wintergarden. Whether you’re heading to Hawaii or the Mediterranean, a shore excursion in every port is also included in your fare, and after each one, you’ll want to relax in your robes in the spa’s Scandinavian-inspired thermal suite and talk about everything you experienced.</p> <p>In addition to award-winning ocean cruises, Viking is renowned for its river cruises and recently introduced expedition ships. Now, well-travelled couples can fulfil their bucket list trip to Antarctica knowing their favourite cruise line – like their partner – has their back.</p> <p><strong>Best megaship cruise – Celebrity Cruises</strong></p> <p>Although Celebrity ships hold thousands of guests, they’re so thoughtfully designed with cosy nooks and corners that they have a surprisingly intimate feel, which is why they may end up being your favourite cruises. That’s especially true for the Edge series ships, the newest in the fleet, which include the recently launched Beyond, a wonder in and of itself. Beyond fully lives up to its name, especially if you upgrade to the Retreat, an exclusive ship within a ship that will make you feel like, well, a celebrity. It includes a beautiful, roomy suite with your own veranda and also grants you access to a private sundeck, lounge and restaurant conducive to more intimate conversations. For the perfect date night, be sure to make a dinner reservation at Le Voyage, the first restaurant at sea from Michelin-starred chef Daniel Boulud, before heading off to a Broadway-quality show.</p> <p>No worries if you’re not on Beyond. Every Celebrity ship is filled with fantastic dining options, and on Edge series ships, you can enjoy dinner alfresco on the Magic Carpet, so seriously, what are you waiting for?</p> <p><strong>Best cruise for getting married or renewing your vows – Princess Cruises</strong></p> <p>Nicknamed “The Love Boat” in honour of the iconic TV show that was filmed on one of its ships, Princess is all about amore, and it just may be the most romantic cruise line. Embracing that legacy of love, it offers personalised wedding packages for couples who want to tie the knot at sea and recently set a Guinness World Record for the largest multi-location vow renewal. A dating reality show, The Real Love Boat, was also filmed aboard the Regal Princess and debuts in late 2022.</p> <p>But even if you’re not thinking about marriage yet or you’ve been married for years, you’ll want to cuddle under a blanket together to watch Movies Under the Stars or book an Ultimate Balcony Dining experience for a private champagne breakfast for two. Whatever you choose to do, love is in the air!</p> <p><strong>Best traditional cruise – Cunard Line</strong></p> <p>With ships named after Queen Mary, Queen Elizabeth and Queen Victoria, it’s no wonder couples get the royal treatment on Cunard. The 180-year-old cruise line’s rich history is evident throughout each Art Deco-influenced ship, and there’s a touch of glamour that celebrates the Golden Age of cruising and will inspire you to celebrate each other. Some good cruise advice? Opt for a magical transatlantic cruise to stay on the ship 24/7 and take advantage of everything from enriching lectures to lazy days in the spa’s thermal suite. Pack your formalwear for the Gala Evening that’s a highlight of each cruise, and spend the night dancing cheek to cheek.</p> <p><strong>Best luxury cruise – Seabourn Cruises</strong></p> <p>With an oceanfront view from every room and all-inclusive fare, Seabourn is worth the splurge for a romantic getaway. Your Personal Suite Steward will attend to your every need, even drawing a Pure Pampering bath for two. You’ll also dine in style, choosing between award-winning venues serving everything from steak and sushi to tableside preparations of caesar salad and ice cream sundaes. In each port, Seabourn categorises its shore excursions into collections, so you can experience a destination the way the two of you want to, whether you’re more into culture, wellness or adventure. The only issue is that you may never want to leave the ship.</p> <p><strong>Best midsize cruise – Holland America Line</strong></p> <p>Many couples prefer midsize cruises because they offer the intimacy of a small ship with more activities. Holland America is a great choice, featuring lovely spaces like Silk Den Lounge and the Pinnacle Bar, where you can while away a couple of hours enjoying each other’s company with a cool drink in hand. Enjoy live entertainment at B.B. King’s Blues Club, Lincoln Center Stage and Billboard Onboard, and take part in Port to Table food and wine tastings and cooking demonstrations. All these experiences will enrich your cruise and your memories together.</p> <p>FYI, despite its name, Holland offers a wealth of itineraries for couples cruises, covering destinations from Alaska to Zanzibar.</p> <p><strong>Best cruise for younger couples – Virgin Voyages</strong></p> <p>Richard Branson’s adults-only cruise line is young and hip. An oasis on the ocean, Virgin Voyages are the best cruises for millennial couples, whether you’re heading to the Greek Islands or the Caribbean ones. Every night can be date night, with more than 20 all-included eateries featuring everything from Korean BBQ to veggie-forward dining. Don’t worry – you can work off the calories in a wide variety of unlimited fitness classes, whether you prefer the intensity of indoor cycling or the zen of yoga.</p> <p>Choose the soundtrack to your cruise at Voyage Vinyl, an onboard record store, where you’re likely to find your song. And commemorate your romantic vacation by getting matching tattoos at Squid Ink, the first tattoo shop at sea. Have cruises recovered from COVID? We’d say yes!</p> <p><strong>Best cruise for older couples – Silversea Cruises</strong></p> <p>You won’t find lots of partiers on a Silversea cruise, but you will find lots of happy couples enjoying the ships’ understated luxury … and each other. It’s impossible not to feel special when you have your own suite with your own personal butler tending to your every need. (And FYI, all Silversea accommodations are suites.) Full dinners can even be served, course by course, in your cabin, white tablecloth and all. And because the all-inclusive pricing features wine, champagne and top-shelf spirits, you’ll find yourselves raising a glass – or two or three – to your love and your wise decision to book this couples cruise.</p> <p><strong>Best cruise for active couples – Royal Caribbean International</strong></p> <p>Royal Caribbean has always been known for its multitude of options, which have expanded even further with its launch of Wonder of the Seas, the world’s largest cruise ship. It’s like a city in itself, boasting eight unique “neighbourhoods,” including one exclusively for Royal Suite Class guests. There is so much for couples to do throughout the ship’s 18 decks, from walking through the plant-filled Central Park, riding the zip line and trying the FlowRider surf simulator to sipping cocktails at the cantilevered Vue Bar. On many of Royal Caribbean’s other ships, including Harmony of the Seas, you can opt for ice skating and dance lessons.</p> <p><strong>Best budget cruise for couples – Carnival Cruise Lines</strong></p> <p>Because Carnival has a reputation as a party boat, people often ask, “Is Carnival good for couples?” The answer is yes, and the truth is, with the right partner, any cruise ship can be romantic. Carnival also happens to be fun and value-priced, which comes in handy if you didn’t book a cruise when they’re the cheapest (often, that’s in the off-season, like right after the holidays). Carnival gives you the opportunity to channel your inner child and scream your way down the waterslides, laugh your head off at the R-rated comedy club sets and chill in the Serenity Adult-Only Retreat – all on the same cruise. And, as the saying goes, the couple that plays together stays together.</p> <p><em><span id="docs-internal-guid-fc48160a-7fff-9275-fc39-f83a022c1a92">Written by Lois Alter Mark. This article first appeared in <a href="https://www.readersdigest.com.au/travel/10-best-couples-cruises-for-a-romantic-holiday-at-sea" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Reader’s Digest</a>. For more of what you love from the world’s best-loved magazine, <a href="http://readersdigest.innovations.com.au/c/readersdigestemailsubscribe?utm_source=over60&amp;utm_medium=articles&amp;utm_campaign=RDSUB&amp;keycode=WRA87V" target="_blank" rel="noopener">here’s our best subscription offer.</a></span></em></p> <p><em>Image: Getty Images</em></p>

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The value of a banana: understanding absurd and ephemeral artwork

<p>In September 2020, the Guggenheim Museum in New York acquired <a href="https://news.artnet.com/art-world/guggenheim-banana-cattelan-1909179">Maurizio Cattelan’s Comedian</a> by anonymous donation. The work – a banana duct-taped to a wall — was first shown and sold at the <a href="https://www.theartnewspaper.com/news/this-art-is-bananas-maurizio-cattelan-presents-first-new-work-for-an-art-fair-in-15-years#:%7E:text=The%20maverick%20Italian%20artist%20Maurizio,wall%20with%20grey%20duct%20tape.">Art Basel fair in Miami Beach</a> in the autumn of 2019 where it generated attention, derision and <a href="https://wwd.com/fashion-news/fashion-scoops/art-basel-2019-art-banana-memes-1203395572/">innumerable memes</a>. Social media was, for a brief time, overflowing with images of <a href="https://www.news18.com/news/buzz/people-are-coming-up-their-own-duct-tape-art-after-banana-in-art-basel-sells-for-rs-85-lakh-2416655.html">just about anything duct-taped to walls</a>: tamales, beer cans, cabbage, a <a href="https://knowyourmeme.com/photos/1668205-duct-tape-banana">durian</a> fruit, a sandal, someone’s cat. <a href="https://adage.com/article/digital/brands-are-trying-one-art-basel-banana/2221661">Companies quickly countered with online ads</a> where their products, from deodorants to French fries, were shown duct-taped to the wall with a modest price tag.</p> <p>Comedian reignited a set of questions that seem to flare up with some regularity: what makes something a high-priced artwork when another, seemingly identical, object is not? </p> <p>Since the work was shown at an art fair, it is relevant to consider what exactly is being bought when acquiring an artwork like Comedian. The original banana had to be replaced several times during the course of the fair, once after it was eaten as <a href="https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-50704136">a stunt by another artist</a>.</p> <p>The collectors who bought and subsequently donated the work to the Guggenheim did not receive an actual banana or a piece of duct tape. Instead, what they got was a document, a so-called certificate of authenticity that granted them the right to recreate the work and instructions of how to do so. <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2020/09/18/arts/design/banana-art-guggenheim.html">It stipulated</a>, among other things, that the banana should be hung 175cm above ground and that it should be replaced every seven to ten days.</p> <h2>A banana is a banana is a banana</h2> <p>Although the art world has accepted the idea of <a href="https://www.tate.org.uk/art/art-terms/r/readymade">ready-made</a> everyday objects as art, at least since the mid-20th century, Cattelan’s artwork invited a collective focus on the structure of evaluation of artworks. If anyone can tape anything to the wall — as many did — what is the point of a document granting the legal right to do the same?</p> <p>Let’s compare Comedian to another fruit-based artwork: Zoe Leonard’s <a href="https://www.philamuseum.org/collections/permanent/92277.html">Strange Fruit</a> (1992-1997), a large installation of fruit peels, carefully stitched together by the artist. It was made during the Aids crisis and functioned as a ritualised act of mourning and memorialising.</p> <p>After closely working with a conservator who developed a method of halting material decay at a particular point, <a href="http://contemporary.burlington.org.uk/journal/journal/intent-in-the-making-the-life-of-zoe-leonards-strange-fruit">Leonard decided</a> that it was more in line with the work’s idea to have it turn slowly into dust. In contrast to Comedian, replacing the fruit peels was not an option since the specific acts of stitching as mourning was key to the work’s meaning. The material manifestation of Leonard’s organic objects is far from stable – time passes and they change – but it is crucial that it is these precise pieces of fruit that undergo that transformation.</p> <p>Conceptual artists in the 1960s argued that an artwork’s identity is not to be found in its physical manifestation but in the artist’s idea. That idea can, but does not have to, take material form. </p> <p>Following that logic, the material object is a manifestation of an idea, and it is the idea that is bought and sold on the art market. When the object is reproducible or immaterial, the certificate of authenticity ensures the artwork’s identity as an artwork. Comedian is not dependent on a specific banana, any banana could be used without altering the meaning of the work. That, however, is very different from saying that any banana and piece of duct tape is an artwork by Maurizio Cattelan.</p> <h2>Poking fun at the market</h2> <p>Even though the <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/artanddesign/2019/dec/06/maurizio-cattelan-banana-duct-tape-comedian-art-basel-miami">US$120,000 (£92,000) price tag for Comedian</a> was by contemporary art standards fairly moderate, it is obviously a huge mark-up for the act of combining two very cheap and readily available materials. </p> <p>The work’s title hints that it is aware of the comedic absurdity of its own evaluation on the art market. Also, the banana’s upward curve on the wall recalls a stylised smiling face, and the banana peel, as we know, is involved in the most basic of slapstick skits. </p> <p>Comedian was in fact not the first time Cattelan poked fun at the market, art dealers and their place within this system. In 1995, he made his dealer Emmanuel Perrotin (in whose booth at Art Basel Comedian was shown) <a href="https://www.frieze.com/article/maurizio-cattelan">dress up as a giant pink penis-shaped bunny</a> for the duration of his exhibition at Perrotin’s Paris gallery. The piece was called “Errotin le vrai lapin (Errotin the true rabbit). By making Perrotin wear a ridiculous and humiliating phallic costume while carrying out his day-to-day work as a commercial gallery owner, the spectacle of the art market came into sharp view.</p> <p>Comedian is not the only of Cattelan’s works that has drawn attention to the Guggenheim in recent years. In 2016, the artist installed the work <a href="https://www.guggenheim.org/exhibition/maurizio-cattelan-america">America</a> in one of the lavatories of the museum. The 18-karat gold toilet is a tongue-in-cheek commentary on the excesses of America’s rich; a piece of satirical participatory art that welcomes people to actually use it. It has reverberations of <a href="https://www.tate.org.uk/art/artworks/duchamp-fountain-t07573">Marcel Duchamp</a> and <a href="https://whitney.org/media/760">Sherrie Levine</a>’s lavatorial works. </p> <p>It <a href="https://www.vanityfair.com/style/2018/01/the-art-museum-that-offered-donald-trump-a-solid-gold-toilet">could have been President Trump</a>’s after he requested to borrow a Van Gogh from the Guggenheim but was offered America instead – he declined. It then was taken in by Blenheim Palace in Oxford in 2019 where art critic Jonathan Jones <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/artanddesign/2019/sep/13/maurizio-cattelan-blenheim-palace-review-hitler-golden-toilet-blenheim-churchill">commented, "</a>How does it feel to urinate on gold? Much like peeing on porcelain. But here, among all the photos of young Winston, it also feels like pissing on British history."</p> <p>Soon after, <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2019/11/20/arts/design/gold-toilet-america.html#:%7E:text=14%2C%20a%20fully%2Dfunctioning%20toilet,the%20birthplace%20of%20Winston%20Churchill.&amp;text=The%20police%20may%20not%20know,palace%2C%20have%20plenty%20of%20theories.">it was stolen</a>. Its whereabouts remain unknown.</p> <p>Cattelan’s works — like other pieces — must be considered in relation to other artworks and the structures in which it operates. The questions they raise are relevant but in part unanswerable: are we to take Comedian seriously, or is it an elaborate joke? And if it is a joke, who is in on it and who, or what, is mocked?</p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p> <p><em>This article originally appeared on <a href="https://theconversation.com/the-value-of-a-banana-understanding-absurd-and-ephemeral-artwork-147689" target="_blank" rel="noopener">The Conversation</a>. </em></p>

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The best way to ask someone on a date

<p>It seems Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan were onto something in their 1998 rom-com <em>You’ve Got Mail.</em></p> <p>Sending an email is more romantic than calling when asking someone on a date, according to a study from Indiana University.</p> <p>The findings, published in the journal Computers in Human Behaviour, probably comes as no surprise considering just how technologically-reliant society has become.</p> <p>“Email’s been in the popular consciousness since the 1990s and if you look at the new generation of millennials … they’ve grown up with email and text messaging, so it may not be as unnatural a medium as we at first thought,” co-author Alan Dennis told Phys.org.</p> <p>Conventional wisdom has it that emails or texting are poor forms of communicating emotion, that a call is a more intimate way to connect, but this new research suggests otherwise.</p> <p>"When writing romantic emails, senders consciously or subconsciously added more positive content to their messages, perhaps to compensate for the medium's inability to convey vocal tone," the researchers wrote in their paper</p> <p>Researchers found when writing emails, people took more time to choose their words to ensure that it conveyed what they wanted it too.</p> <p>"The bottom line is that email is much better when you want to convey some information that you want someone to think about,” Dennis said.</p> <p>Dennis added their findings run counter to the commonly held belief that the further we get from face-to-face communication, the less genuine and effective it becomes.</p> <p>"There's a lot of theory that says email and other text communications don't really work very well," he said. "We should probably go back and reconsider a lot of the stereotypical assumptions that we hold about email and text messaging that may not hold true when we take a deeper look at how people react physiologically."</p> <p>While their research finds email may be the best choice to convey feelings, Dennis says there is clearly still a place for face-to-face meetings, phone calls, and other forms of direct communication.</p> <p>“If something isn’t really clear and you want to make sure that everyone has the same understanding of what something means, that’s best done in phone calls, face-to-face meetings or video conferencing,” he said.</p> <p><em>Image: Getty</em></p>

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