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Don’t let financial shame be your ruin: open conversations can help ease the burden of personal debt

<p>Nearly <a href="https://www.ipsos.com/en-nz/19th-ipsos-new-zealand-issues-monitor">two-thirds of New Zealanders</a> are worried about the cost of living, and a quarter are worried about <a href="https://www.canstar.co.nz/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/Consumer-Pulse-Report-NZ-2023-Final-4.pdf">putting food on the table</a>. But the <a href="https://visionwest.org.nz/food-hardship-part-one/">shame</a> that can come with financial stress is preventing some people from seeking help. </p> <p>According to a recent survey, a third of New Zealanders were not completely truthful with their family or partners about the state of their finances, and 12% <a href="https://www.stuff.co.nz/business/money/129477493/financial-infidelity-research-finds-kiwis-hiding-debts-from-their-partners">actively hid their debt</a>. This shame and worry about money can spill over into <a href="https://www.nzherald.co.nz/bay-of-plenty-times/news/concerns-buy-now-pay-later-schemes-could-fuel-addiction-as-kiwis-spend-17b-last-year/VOV3VIDIG2MZBGJEGPMLGWDMJI/">addiction</a>, <a href="https://www.newsroom.co.nz/i-had-serious-concussion-bad-credit-and-15000-debt-abuse-survivor">violence</a> and <a href="https://corporate.dukehealth.org/news/financial-strains-significantly-raise-risk-suicide-attempts">suicide</a>. </p> <p>Considering the effect of financial stress on our wellbeing, it is clear we need to overcome the financial stigma that prevents us from getting help. We also <a href="https://www.apa.org/topics/money/family-financial-strain">owe it to our kids</a> to break the taboo around money by communicating our worries and educating them on how to manage finances better. </p> <h2>The burden of growing debt</h2> <p><a href="https://www.stuff.co.nz/business/money/300817697/mortgage-pain-homeowners-facing-repayment-hikes-of-up-to-900-a-fortnight">Ballooning mortgage repayments</a> are compounding the financial distress of many New Zealanders. At the beginning of 2023, an estimated 11.9% of home owners were behind on loan payments, with more than <a href="https://www.rnz.co.nz/news/business/485045/data-shows-430-000-new-zealanders-behind-in-credit-repayments-in-january">18,400 mortgagees in arrears</a>. </p> <div data-id="17"> </div> <p>Given the <a href="https://www.treasury.govt.nz/publications/an/an-21-01-html">majority of household wealth</a> in New Zealand is in property, our financial vulnerability is closely linked to the ebbs and flows of the <a href="https://content.knightfrank.com/research/84/documents/en/global-house-price-index-q2-2021-8422.pdf">second most overinflated property market</a> in the world. </p> <p>There are also cultural reasons for growing financial distress. Many households have taken on significant debt to “<a href="https://www.stuff.co.nz/business/7616361/Keeping-up-with-the-Joneses">keep up with the Joneses</a>” and to pursue the quintessential <a href="https://www.interest.co.nz/property/99890/westpac-commissioned-survey-suggests-many-new-zealanders-still-pine-quarter-acre">quarter-acre dream</a>. Social comparison and peer pressure act as powerful levers contributing to problem debt and over-indebtedness. </p> <p>The average household debt in New Zealand is more than <a href="https://tradingeconomics.com/new-zealand/households-debt-to-income">170% of gross household income</a>. That is higher than the United Kingdom (133%), Australia (113%) or Ireland (96%).</p> <h2>The rise of problem debt</h2> <p>And we are digging a deeper hole. Over the past year, <a href="https://www.rnz.co.nz/news/business/485045/data-shows-430-000-new-zealanders-behind-in-credit-repayments-in-january">demand for credit cards increased by 21.7%</a>. The use of personal debt such as personal loans and deferred payment schemes <a href="https://www.nzherald.co.nz/business/demand-for-personal-credit-rises-arrears-also-up-as-cost-of-living-bites/YCEM74CII5FQBPJXO3UOG4Y3GY/">is also climbing</a>. There is a real risk this debt could become problem debt. </p> <p>Problem debt can have severe and wide-reaching consequences, including <a href="https://theconversation.com/over-300-000-new-zealanders-owe-more-than-they-own-is-this-a-problem-173497">housing insecurity</a>, <a href="http://www.socialinclusion.ie/publications/documents/2011_03_07_FinancialExclusionPublication.pdf">financial exclusion</a> (the inability to access debt at affordable interest rates), <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/07409710.2012.652016?journalCode=gfof20">poor food choices</a> and a plethora of <a href="https://bmcpublichealth.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/1471-2458-14-489">health problems</a>. </p> <p>Yet, the hidden <a href="https://spssi.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/sipr.12074">psychological</a> and <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s11205-008-9286-8">social cost of financial distress</a>remains often unspoken, overlooked and underestimated.</p> <p>Even before the pandemic, <a href="https://www.scoop.co.nz/stories/BU1909/S00616/research-shows-financial-stress-impacts-mental-wellbeing.htm">69% of New Zealanders were worried</a>about money. The share of people worrying about their financial situation was higher for women (74%), and particularly women aged 18-34 (82%). It is no coincidence that the latter are particularly at risk of problem debt through so-called <a href="https://acfr.aut.ac.nz/__data/assets/pdf_file/0008/691577/Gilbert-and-Scott-Study-2-Draft-v10Sept2022.pdf">“buy now, pay later” schemes</a>. </p> <p>The stigma of financial distress extends beyond the vulnerable and the marginalised in our society. A growing number of <a href="https://www.rnz.co.nz/news/political/467417/middle-income-families-hoping-for-help-in-budget-as-rising-costs-sting">middle-class New Zealanders </a> are quietly suffering financial distress, isolated by financial stigma and the taboos around discussing money. When pressed, one in two New Zealanders would rather <a href="https://www.scoop.co.nz/stories/BU2203/S00384/research-shows-wed-rather-talk-about-politics-than-our-finances.htm">talk politics over money</a>. </p> <h2>Time to talk about money</h2> <p>Navigating financial distress and <a href="https://digitalcommons.law.seattleu.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=2526&context=sulr">stigma</a> can feel overwhelming. Where money is a taboo subject, it may feel safer to withdraw, maintain false appearances, be secretive or shun social support. </p> <p>This tendency to avoid open discussions and suffer in silence can lead to <a href="https://loneliness.org.nz/lonely/at-home/financially-struggling/">feelings of isolation</a> and contribute to <a href="https://theconversation.com/how-financial-stress-can-affect-your-mental-health-and-5-things-that-can-help-201557">poor mental health</a>, such as depression, anxiety and emotional distress. </p> <p>Sadly, the trauma of living in financial distress can also <a href="http://irep.ntu.ac.uk/id/eprint/39442/1/1307565_Wakefield.pdf">break up families</a>. Losing the symbols of hard-gained success and facing the prospect of a reduced lifestyle can be tough. It often triggers feelings of personal failure and self doubt that deter us from taking proactive steps to talk openly and seek help. </p> <p>But what can families do to alleviate some of this distress?</p> <h2>Seek help</h2> <p>First, understand that <a href="https://www.ft.com/content/86767aac-98e0-4dae-8c5a-d3301b030703">you are not alone</a>. Over 300,000 New Zealanders <a href="https://theconversation.com/over-300-000-new-zealanders-owe-more-than-they-own-is-this-a-problem-173497">owe more than they earn</a>.</p> <p>Second, seek help. There are many services that help people work through their financial situation and formulate a plan. In the case of excessive debts, debt consolidation or <a href="https://goodshepherd.org.nz/debtsolve/">debt solution loans</a> may help reduce the overall burden and simplify your financial situation. </p> <p>For those struggling with increasing interest on their mortgages, reaching out to your bank early is critical. During the 2008 recession, banks in New Zealand <a href="https://www.beehive.govt.nz/release/banks-exchange-letters-crown-support-distressed-mortgage-borrowers">worked with customers</a> to avoid defaulting on mortgages, including reducing servicing costs, capitalising interest and moving households to interest-only loans. It is essential to understand that the <a href="https://www.stuff.co.nz/life-style/homed/real-estate/130677426/are-we-on-the-brink-of-a-wave-of-mortgagee-sales">banks do not want mortgagees to fail</a>, and that options exist.</p> <p>To help future generations avoid debt traps, we need open communication about money – also known as “<a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10834-020-09736-2">financial socialisation</a>”. This includes developing values, sharing knowledge and promoting behaviours that help build <a href="https://files.eric.ed.gov/fulltext/EJ1241099.pdf">financial viability and contribute to financial wellbeing</a>. </p> <p>The lessons about handling money from family and friends are crucial for <a href="https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2020.02162/full">improving our children’s financial capability</a>, helping them be <a href="https://www.fsc.org.nz/it-starts-with-action-theme/growing-financially-resilient-kids">more financially resilient</a> and better able to survive the stresses we are experiencing now – and those <a href="https://www.stuff.co.nz/business/money/300836616/heres-how-much-household-costs-are-expected-to-increase">yet to come</a>.</p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p> <p><em>This article originally appeared on <a href="https://theconversation.com/dont-let-financial-shame-be-your-ruin-open-conversations-can-help-ease-the-burden-of-personal-debt-202496" target="_blank" rel="noopener">The Conversation</a>. </em></p>

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Planning, stress and worry put the mental load on mothers – will 2022 be the year they share the burden?

<p>The COVID pandemic has made the very private issue of the domestic division of labour – the way housework and childcare are divided – a very public issue.</p> <p>During lockdowns, the burden of housework and childcare grew significantly for men and women in <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/gwao.12497">opposite-sex</a> and <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/08912432211001303">same-sex couples</a> both in Australia and <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/gwao.12727">elsewhere</a>.</p> <p>Overnight, homes became offices, childcare centres and makeshift schools and it was mothers who largely stepped into these teaching and caring roles at the expense of their <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/1097184X21990737">anxiety levels and sleep</a>.</p> <p>While the pandemic exacerbated the physical demands of care – housework and childcare – it also exacerbated another part of the work that keeps households and families running: the mental load.</p> <h2>What is the mental load?</h2> <p>A lot has been written about the mental load over the past two years, with many confusing the mental load with household labour – cleaning and cooking or caring after children – or planning tasks involved with childcare. But the mental load is so much more.</p> <p>In our recently published <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/13668803.2021.2002813">research</a>, we define the mental load as the combination of two types of work or labour: <em>cognitive labour</em> and <em>emotional labour</em>.</p> <p><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/437061/original/file-20211212-13-131ekhu.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&amp;q=45&amp;auto=format&amp;w=754&amp;fit=clip" alt="Mother organises things on her phone, while looking after kids at the kitchen table." /> <span class="caption">The mental load is more than just planning.</span> <span class="attribution"><a href="https://unsplash.com/photos/L8oEIAZ59_g" class="source">Vitolda Klein/Unsplash</a></span></p> <p>The cognitive aspect of the mental load involves the <em>scheduling</em>, <em>planning</em>, and <em>organising</em> required to support the smooth operating of families. This type of work ranges from organising a play date to planning dinner.</p> <p>We argue this cognitive work becomes <em>a load</em> or the mental load when it has an emotional element, for example, when there is worry or stress attached to these tasks.</p> <p>Some have described list-making as the mental load, but list-making isn’t always stressful or emotional and, importantly, list-making has a finite beginning and end.</p> <p>But, once cognitive tasks like list-making take on an emotional element – like worry about whether Nana will like her present, anxiety about how relatives will get along at holiday dinners and stress about filling stockings while finishing work – then it becomes the mental load.</p> <h2>How does the mental load operate?</h2> <p>We argue the mental load operates in families and societies in three ways.</p> <p><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/437068/original/file-20211212-23-f80euq.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&amp;q=45&amp;auto=format&amp;w=237&amp;fit=clip" alt="Busy woman sits at a cafe on her computer, talking on the phone." /> <span class="caption">The mental load can be performed anywhere, anytime.</span> <span class="attribution"><a href="https://unsplash.com/photos/u_9ANn3JpVU" class="source">Aviv Rachmadian/Unsplash</a></span></p> <p>First it’s <em>invisible</em> – it’s the type of work that is done internally. Unlike housework or childcare, it’s unseen and therefore hard to recognise.</p> <p>Second, the mental load is <em>boundaryless</em>. Because it’s invisible, it can be performed anywhere or at anytime.</p> <p>American sociologist Arlie Hochschild termed women’s domestic labour done after work as the “<a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Second_Shift">second shift</a>” but the mental load has no shifts – it can be done before, during and after work or even during time that should be spent sleeping.</p> <p>And lastly, the mental load is <em>enduring</em>, meaning it never ends. Unlike housework such as like cooking or cleaning, thinking and caring about family members never ends, which is why the mental load can be so burdensome and Nana still reminds you to take a jacket.</p> <h2>How can we lessen mental loads in 2022 and beyond?</h2> <p>Individuals and society can do a number of things to decrease the mental load.</p> <p><strong>1) Make the mental load more visible by quantifying it</strong></p> <p>We have no robust, standardised and nationally representative measure of the mental load. This means, unlike housework and childcare, we have no idea the volume and consequences of the mental load for Australians.</p> <p>Recent reports on <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2021/dec/07/women-do-21-hours-more-unpaid-work-than-men-study-suggests">housework</a> show women do 21 more hours of unpaid work than men. They may also spend the bulk of the day thinking about, planning and worrying about their families.</p> <p><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/437063/original/file-20211212-27-yirblq.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&amp;q=45&amp;auto=format&amp;w=754&amp;fit=clip" alt="Older woman rides a bike through a cobble-stone street." /> <span class="caption">The mental load can last long after your children have left home.</span> <span class="attribution"><a href="https://unsplash.com/photos/Q1KRS5xRGfM" class="source">Clem Onojeghuo</a></span></p> <p>Yet, we have no measure of this labour and, importantly, we don’t know how men carry the mental load either.</p> <p>Quantifying and capturing how much time we spend on the mental load and how this is shared between couples will help lay the groundwork for change.</p> <p><strong>2) Acknowledge the toll on women</strong></p> <p>The pandemic has left workers burnt out, stressed and overwhelmed by the intensity of balancing work, homeschooling and full-time care demands while isolated at home.</p> <p>It’s no wonder the pandemic has knocked <a href="https://arts.unimelb.edu.au/the-policy-lab/projects/projects/worsening">mothers out of employment</a>.</p> <p>Mothers are exhausted not only from the physical demands of work and family but also the cognitive labour of holding it all together at work while worrying about torpedoing children’s educational futures from keeping them home, alone and glued to screens.</p> <p>The mental load, as the unrelenting internal nag, is a drain on well-being with serious consequences for economic productivity and fatigue.</p> <p>The mental load is a national health emergency and should be treated seriously by workplaces and governments alike.</p> <p><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/437065/original/file-20211212-21-zc03ez.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&amp;q=45&amp;auto=format&amp;w=754&amp;fit=clip" alt="Woman concentrates on a computer while working from home." /> <span class="caption">The mental load affects women’s health and productivity.</span> <span class="attribution"><a href="https://unsplash.com/photos/g9KFpAfQ5bc" class="source">Annie Spratt/Unsplash</a></span></p> <p><strong>3) Help families better reconcile work and family demands</strong></p> <p>Both organisations and governments need to be better at helping families combine their work and care responsibilities. The mental load overloads women (and some men) particularly at work when they are thinking and worrying about their children’s needs.</p> <p>Workplaces need to improve support for families to lessen the mental load. This may mean more working remotely or concrete programs to support workers’ mental loads. This is also likely to improve workers’ productivity.</p> <p>At the same time, governments need to provide better care infrastructure to support families, for example more universal affordable childcare, supports for transitioning children to and from school, and better aged care. This will lessen workers’ worries about the experiences of loved ones while they’re engaged in paid work.</p> <p>Ultimately, the mental load is a mental health issue and companies and governments should treat it as such. This will unburden families, and particularly mothers, from managing the mental load alone.<!-- Below is The Conversation's page counter tag. Please DO NOT REMOVE. --><img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important; text-shadow: none !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/172599/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /><!-- End of code. If you don't see any code above, please get new code from the Advanced tab after you click the republish button. The page counter does not collect any personal data. More info: https://theconversation.com/republishing-guidelines --></p> <p><span><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/leah-ruppanner-106371">Leah Ruppanner</a>, Associate Professor in Sociology and Co-Director of The Policy Lab, <em><a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/the-university-of-melbourne-722">The University of Melbourne</a></em>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/brendan-churchill-3035">Brendan Churchill</a>, ARC Research Fellow and Lecturer in Sociology, <em><a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/the-university-of-melbourne-722">The University of Melbourne</a></em>, and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/liz-dean-189942">Liz Dean</a>, Lecturer in Sociology Program, <em><a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/the-university-of-melbourne-722">The University of Melbourne</a></em></span></p> <p>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/planning-stress-and-worry-put-the-mental-load-on-mothers-will-2022-be-the-year-they-share-the-burden-172599">original article</a>.</p> <p><em>Image: Rich Smith/Unsplash</em></p>

Family & Pets

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Daughters carry the burden of parental care

<p>If you ask around, you’ll probably find that more of your female friends have had to care for their ageing parents than your male friends. Why is this? That’s what a recent study from Princeton University set out to learn.</p> <p>“Sons provide a lower relative share of total parent care if they have a sister, whereas daughters provide a larger relative share if they have a brother,” sociology graduate student Angelina Grigoryeva found. “This finding suggests sons may pass on parent-care responsibilities to their sisters.”</p> <p>Grigoryeva believes this may be due to society’s tendency to raise girls to become caregivers and homemakers, however the gender divide is even stronger in caring for elderly relatives than other responsibilities. “Gender inequality in elder care is more pronounced than in housework or child care,” she said.</p> <p>However, the divide may be due to another reason entirely – the traditional beliefs of a generation who grew up in a society where women were expected to always take on the caregiver role. “It is possible that elderly women in need of care resist the caregiving efforts of sons,” Grigoryeva explained.</p> <p>Postdoctoral fellow Marina Bastawrous from the University of Toronto agreed, telling <a href="http://www.cbsnews.com/news/when-parents-need-care-daughters-carry-the-burden-study-says/" target="_blank"><strong><span style="text-decoration: underline;">CBS</span></strong></a> her own research found this to be true. “[Daughters] took on the caregiving role because they were the only female sibling and, in turn, their brother or brothers wouldn't do it,” she said. “On the other hand, daughters who had female siblings often talked about a more even distribution of responsibilities.”</p> <p>According to the Australian Bureau of Statistics’ <a href="http://www.abs.gov.au/ausstats/abs@.nsf/Lookup/4430.0main+features402015" target="_blank"><strong><span style="text-decoration: underline;">2015 Survey on Disability, Ageing and Carers</span></strong></a>, women accounted for 68.1 per cent of primary carers, and among people aged 55 to 64, the number of female primary carers was double that of men.</p> <p>There’s also a divide in the caregiving duties carried out by men and women. “Women play a greater role than men in helping with personal and daily tasks, while men (except for spouses) more often undertake occasional help, such as doing repairs, putting together items like furniture, or installing equipment in the home,” <a href="https://books.google.com.au/books?id=5lYuG4lV36MC&amp;pg=PA71&amp;lpg=PA71&amp;dq=%22Women+play+a+greater+role+than+men+in+helping+with+personal+and+daily+tasks%22&amp;source=bl&amp;ots=HyV2EwWkWp&amp;sig=zAUym85BBNY83TTZfW5sygpsa6E&amp;hl=en&amp;sa=X&amp;ved=0ahUKEwjG2sLYpvPTAhVThbwKHcYVCi0Q6AEIJTAA#v=onepage&amp;q=%22Women%20play%20a%20greater%20role%20than%20men%20in%20helping%20with%20personal%20and%20daily%20tasks%22&amp;f=false" target="_blank"><strong><span style="text-decoration: underline;">writes Bittman et al</span></strong></a>.</p> <p>Have you noticed this gender divide between sons and daughters caring for their ageing parents? Share your thoughts with us in the comment section below.</p>

Caring

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Government changes put retirement burden on individuals

<p>Where possible, Australians must be prepared to fund their own retirement.</p> <p>Or at least that the perceived message of the changes to pension and aged care rules introduced in 2015 by the Abbott-Turnbull governments, involving a significant withdrawal of government subsidies for older Australians.</p> <p>The burden of retirees on the public purse is trying to be lessened by changes to mean testing for the age pension, eligibility for the Commonwealth Seniors Health Card (CSHC) and the treatment of account-based pensions.</p> <p>"The government is pushing retirees to use their own capital to fund their retirement," said Natasha Panagis, technical specialist at advice business Strategy Steps.</p> <p>The most controversial of these measures has to be the scaling back transfers to older Australians is the more stringent means testing of the age pension and the extent to which part pension payments are affected by additional savings. Under the new regime which comes into force in January 2017:</p> <ul> <li>The threshold for a part pension for couples who own their home will fall to $820,000 from $1.1 million.</li> <li>For singles who are homeowners, the threshold will fall from $775,000 to $547,000.</li> </ul> <p>As a result of these new measures, the government estimates roughly 91,000 people will no longer qualify for a part pension, and another 235,000 Australians will have pension payments reduced.</p> <p>Combined, the measures are expected to save the government $2.4 billion between now and 2019.</p> <p>The squeeze from the government on older Aussies doesn’t stop there.</p> <p>From January this year, non-taxable superannuation income was included in the means testing for the CSHC, making it far more difficult for older Australians to qualify for the card, which provides discounts on prescription medicines, concessional rail travel on some lines and, depending on the state, extra health, education and recreation concessions.</p> <p>In a move designed to keep workers employed for longer, the age at which individuals can access their super savings rose to 56 from 55 this year – and will continue to rise in future years.</p> <p><strong>Related links:</strong></p> <p><em><strong><a href="/finance/retirement-income/2015/12/driving-in-retirement/">Do I need a car in retirement?</a></strong></em></p> <p><em><strong><a href="/finance/retirement-income/2016/01/10-exciting-retirement-adventures/">10 exciting retirement adventure ideas</a></strong></em></p> <p><em><strong><a href="/finance/retirement-income/2015/12/volunteering-abroad-in-retirement/">5 reasons to consider volunteering abroad</a></strong></em></p>

Retirement Income

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