Community Contributor

Retirement Life

Hilarious poem about the perils of men in retirement

Hilarious poem about the perils of men in retirement

Barbara Binland is the pen name of a senior, Julie Grenness, in Melbourne, Victoria, Australia. She is a poet, writer, and part-time English and Maths tutor, with over 40 years of experience. Her many books are available on Amazon and Kindle.

Perils of Men in Retirement

Here’s an ode for ladies of a certain age,

Your men are going to retire one day,

Very old joke—is this your hunch?

You married him for better or worse, not lunch!

His first day at home, what’s he going to do?

He wants to come to the supermarket with you!

Now this is a man on a mission,

Buys half the shop with no permission,

Well, that was an expensive shop,

Now he wants you to cook this lot,

A retired husband is a full time job!

What’s this? He’s gardening with his chainsaw,

Well, those were your plants… but wait, there’s more,

He’s bought an electric guitar,

You wish his greyboy band would go far

Away, that is! Oh no, not this,

He wants to go camping with his grey old miss,

NO! NO! God gave you a home, not a tent,

Yes, girls, camping is a defence,

Well, aren’t we both having fun?

Wife wishes she’d bought a gun,

Never mind, it’s only retirement together, day one!