Joanita Wibowo


“You haven’t upset anyone”: Daughter’s beautiful note to elderly mother with dementia

“You haven’t upset anyone”: Daughter’s beautiful note to elderly mother with dementia

A daughter’s “words of reassurance” to her mother, who is suffering from dementia, has gone viral on the Internet. The note, posted on social media platform Reddit, has sparked discussions on caring for people with the condition.

When an elderly lady kept making anxious phone calls, her daughter decided to leave a message of reminders that she could see anytime.

“A simple white board left in her sight line in her sitting room,” the caption on the Reddit post said. “Helped to reduce constant anxious phone calls.”

Some of the reminders on the board included “your meals are paid for”, “you don’t owe anyone any money”, and “you haven’t upset anyone”.

The whiteboard note with the message. Credit: u/Lowcrbnaman

The post has gone viral, with more than 111,000 upvotes on the platform.

Family members and caregivers have chimed in with their stories of tending to people with the condition.

“I work and train in a hospital, and a lot of my patients have dementia. I constantly have to reassure people who will refuse to take their meals from us because they “don’t have any money” or “have no way to pay you back,” one user wrote.

“I think how anxious I would be if somebody was giving me food for seemingly no reason and I knew I didn’t have any way to pay them. I’d be a wreck.”

Some vouched for the idea of placing notes and reminders where sufferers can see them.

“My grandmother with dementia recently moved in with my mom and she has found that this is a pretty effective method to stop the phone calls,” another user shared.

“She constantly worries that the dog hasn't been fed and so many other little things that you can't predict what to write on the board for her. I just wrote that I loved her and put my cellphone number on that and let her call me when she's anxious about something.”

According to Dementia Australia, dementia is the second leading cause of death in Australia with more than 436,000 Australians currently living with the condition. Women account for 64.4 per cent of all dementia-related deaths in the country.

Carers and family members seeking help and support can contact National Dementia Helpline at 1800 100 500 or My Aged Care at 1800 200 422.