Tue, 4 Dec, 2018
Fergie opens up about her darkest days: "I destroyed myself"
Sarah Ferguson has candidly opened up about the mental low that she endured following her divorce with Prince Andrew, following 10 years of marriage.
The Duchess of York said she “murdered herself” with self-hatred following their split in 1996.
However, Fergie described her life with her ex-husband as “the greatest ever”, referring to their unique relationship as their “fairytale”.
The mum of Princess Beatrice and Princess Eugenie, who currently lives with Prince Andrew at Royal Lodge, said she’s “starting my life at 58” after being invited to Prince Harry's wedding earlier this year.
Speaking to Modern Hero, Fergie said: “It was rock bottom. I had completely and utterly destroyed myself. I murdered myself.
“I must have brought that on for myself, hadn't I? That's how I felt about myself, self-hatred at its height. I think that I lived in my ego for a very long time.”
She explained that the time Andrew spent away in the Navy was a key issue in their relationship.
“It was seven years, 40 days a year, I saw him. It was really, really difficult,” she said.
“It played into my abandonment. We both agreed we didn't fight hard enough to keep it together.”
Despite the pain and scrutiny Fergie and Andrew went through, she described their marriage as the “best thing I’ve ever done”.
Although she is happier than ever, she admitted that it was a “long, hard” journey that required “loads of spiritual work to break through my ego”.
“I realise it’s all about forgiveness,” she added.
“Now our life together is the greatest ever,” she said. “It's so hard to comprehend because we're not normal. This is our fairytale, and we're telling it our way.”
Opening up about her relationship with her daughters, Fergie said: “100%, I am a mother that I've always wanted.
“Beatrice calls me the most misunderstood woman in the world,” she added.
Last month, Fergie discussed her divorce with Andrew in an exclusive interview with Daily Mail.
“We’re the happiest divorced couple in the world. We’re divorced to each other, not from each other,” she explained.
“July 23, 1986 was the happiest day of my life. Andrew is the best man I know. What he does for Britain is incredible; no one knows how hard he works for his country.”