If you could go back in time, would you still marry the same person?
We all have those thoughts from time to time of what might have been if we took that job, moved to that city or pursued a relationship with that person, but if you could go back to that moment and make the decision all over again, would you have done the same thing?
Well, that’s the question one woman posed to members of the online parenting forum Mumsnet, asking, “If you could go back to the year you married your husband/wife, would you still marry them, knowing everything you do about them now that you didn’t back then?”
While many said they were happy with their decision (in fact, they only wish they’d married them sooner), a staggering number of people said, given the opportunity again, they wouldn’t wed their current spouse.
“No,” one user wrote. “We’ve been together 30 years and are happy enough, but this isn’t the life I expected or wanted.”
Another also said no, writing, “I love the bones of him and I have no plans to leave, but I wouldn't choose this life for myself if I could do it over.”
One woman said that, as much as she loves her husband, had she met him knowing his personality would change so much, she’s not sure she would have fallen in love with him in the first place.
“We’ve been married nearly 22 years and I love him enormously, but I think he’s changed over the years,” she admitted.
“No doubt I have, too. He was incredibly laid back and ‘go with the flow’ when he was younger, now the stresses of kids/teens and running his own business have taken their toll and he’s far more stressed and gets angry more easily.
“If he had been like this at the beginning I wouldn’t have been attracted to him, [that] is the honest truth.”
But before you lose all your faith in love and relationships, there’s many more positive responses that’ll give you the warm and fuzzies.
“Yes, absolutely,” one woman said. “In fact, as they years have gone by (we have been together nearly 10 years, married for nearly 7, and 2 kids), I’m more sure even than I was then that this was right for both of us. We have a good happy life, despite having gone through some tough times (just in life, not our relationship with each other) and I feel very grateful that we found each other.”
Another wrote, “We’ve been together 20 years this year. I won’t pretend there haven't been some small wobbles here and there. But yes, in a second. He’s one of the most lovely people I know and I am so lucky to have found him. I’ve been quite ill recently and he has been my rock. I love him with all my heart.”