“Online dating websites aren’t full of ‘aliens’ after all”
Over60 community member, Gloria, shares her personal journey, thoughts and opinions on internet dating.
"When considering online dating and some of the stigmas and concerns attached to it I just decided that the people who give it a go are just other lonely humans just like me, not aliens or cyberspace beings. We all have a long past with some baggage, we all have life experience, we all want to share with another person. You have to be proactive to enjoy life to the fullest, including finding a partner.
I chose RSVP after I had heard positive things about it. I had a good look at the website, including the advice for online dating, success stories and of course the profiles and the way it was all set up. I then worked on my profile and chose recent photos of myself. Putting up old photos will catch up with you, as will fibbing or exaggerating in your profile, be honest and highlight the good stuff about yourself. I read all the “help” tips on the site, which include keeping yourself safe. Setting yourself up and getting started is quite exciting, especially when contacts start happening. If you are not very computer savvy just ask someone to help you through the process.
Through my early experiences I soon came to realise that it is much better to meet as soon as possible and not get to involved in long back and forth emails or phone calls. Meeting face to face is the only way you will know if there might be something real to explore and also you will be less likely to be very disappointed after sharing much of your personal life to then find upon meeting that there is no real connection or attraction. Your instincts and other senses are heightened when meeting in person.
I had some very nice dates, which sometimes led to dinner. I never agree or arrange to have dinner, just a drink and usually a time frame of around an hour, that way you are not stuck there and can leave without either of you feeling uncomfortable about it or you can both decide to stay on if there is a nice connection.
Rebounds are something to be wary of, as there may still be a recent ex in the picture – I have been guilty of this myself. In other words, don’t look for someone new if you are not really ready, it is not fair to yourself or others.
I have been on the site on and off for around four years and have had two short relationships and quite a few dates in that time. My current situation is that I have met a lovely man six months ago and we are happily seeing each other every weekend and keeping in contact during the week. We met for a drink that ended up being dinner and a late night. He lives not far from me, which was an important issue for both of us as long distance can become hard to maintain. We look forward to the weekends and various outings we have planned. We enjoy many of the same things but also continue with our own interests and are involved to a degree in each other’s interests and have learned much from each other. We have both been through many ups and downs in our lives and just enjoying being together and getting to know each other’s families. Our children are independent adults so of course that gives us much freedom, another plus of being older.
I doubt I would have ever met someone of his calibre on a singles night out or in a bar!
In my opinion, the plus of being older on a singles site is that we seem to me to be more ready for long-term, serious relationships and we are more experienced and know what we want and don’t want.
Other relationships in my past were men I met the old-fashioned way, which was wonderful but we did not live happily ever after, so I say just go for it because there are no guarantees either way. There is that thing called chemistry and you will just feel it and know that this could be something. The end result of meeting via online dating is much the same as meeting any other way, just a different way of getting there.
My friends who turn their nose up at internet dating are still alone. Good luck and don’t give up."
For more great advice on dating or to start searching for love, head over to RSVP now.