Alex O'Brien
Relationships

5 questions to ask yourself before dating after a divorce

If you’ve signed and sealed your divorce papers and began the mammoth task of moving forward, the idea of dating and perhaps even a new relationship has probably popped up on your radar. Regardless of how your marriage ended you’re probably going to feel a little bit strange and nervous about the idea. After all, you’ve ‘done’ the dating thing, had the wedding, probably had kids and now completed the divorce dance. Things couldn’t be more different to dating the first time around. Opening yourself up to new people and experiences can be a very positive step forward. Knowing that you’re ready for that step however is important. Here are 5 questions to ask your self before wading back into the dating pool.

  1. Make sure you’re really ready to date again – Moving forward from your divorce means that you’ve accepted the situation and started creating a new, post divorce life that you’re happy with and enjoying. Being preoccupied with your ex or finding your self still very angry or bitter about your divorce are both key signs that you’re not quite ready to jump back into the dating game again. Give yourself time to heal and recover.
  2. Decide what your dating goal is – Everyone has a different reason for dating. Whether it’s meeting a new partner, reaffirming to yourself that you’re still attractive and desirable or just searching for someone to share some new experiences with, knowing what you are hoping to get out of the experience is key.
  3. Love yourself – Similar to the first point, you really need to be sure that you are ready and in a good place before starting a new relationship. If you’re struggling with your self worth and still feeling raw and wounded, take some time to get yourself to a better place where you feel good about yourself again.
  4. Be patient – Love and even like can take time. Rushing things often ends badly and settling for Mr or Mrs “right now” is a recipe for further heartbreak. Take your time choosing who you want to spend your valuable time with. You’re worth too much to waste your time on people who don’t deserve you.
  5. Have fun! – Dating is all about enjoying your self! It can help you rediscover the fun and flirtatious side of your personality that you may have thought was gone forever. When you feel ready to get back in the game, go for it! Accept dates that feel and sound good and if things don’t quite work, chalk it up to experience.

Related links:

How to heal from heartbreak and overcome fear of abandonment

5 bad relationship habits to avoid

5 ways giving love is the key to relationship success

Tags:
advice, dating, love, relationships, divorce