The best way to apologise, according to science
We’ve all probably received a less than stellar apology at some point in time. Whether it was a lackluster delivery or the sense that there wasn’t much remorse behind the words, a poor apology can often leave us confused and frustrated. The truth of the matter actually lies in the fact that not everyone is great at “saying sorry”. It’s a skill you’d think would be mastered by the end of primary school but alas, for some people, it just doesn’t come naturally. It’s based on this premise that a group of researchers at Ohio State University set out to discover the components of what makes an effective apology.
According to the study published in the journal Negotiation and Conflict Management it boils down to six ingredients:
- Expression of regret
- Explanation of what went wrong
- Acknowledgement of responsibility
- Declaration of repentance
- Offer of repair
- Request for forgiveness
To further test the importance of each “ingredient” the researchers enlisted 755 volunteers. They gave each of them a hypothetical business scenario where they had to apologise to their employer and gave out a range of different apologies to test, which one was most impactful. The results showed that the two most important ingredients were acknowledging wrongdoing and offering to fix the problem — whereas the least effective were ones that only asked for forgiveness.
The takeaway point? Apologies really do work, but you should make sure you hit as many of the six key components as possible while committing to take action to undo the damage.
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