5 tips to make difficult conversations easier
There are moments in each of our lives when we must confront a sticky issue head-on by sitting down with someone and having a difficult conversation. Having to bring up uncomfortable topics can be awkward at best, and downright unpleasant – especially depending upon the way you approach the talk. Whether the other person is a colleague, a friend, a partner, or a family member, the difficulty of these moments can be scaled back by being prepared in advance. You might not be able to control the other person, but the way you behave can help ease tension and set the tone for a productive conversation. Here are some tips to help you.
1. Preparation helps
When you’re getting ready for a difficult conversation, proper preparation is vital to ensure things go as smoothly as possible. Take at least a few minutes to jot down your thoughts and feelings. By going over your own feelings and forcing yourself to write them down, you’ll have a better understanding of your own point of view during the conversation, and will be better equipped to keep emotions at arm’s length.
2. Set a goal
There’s no point asking someone to join you for a difficult conversation if you don’t know what you expect to happen when all is said and done. While you’re preparing, it’s a good idea to think about what a perfect outcome from your perspective would be. Is it an apology from the other person? Is it an agreement to work better together in the future? Is it them returning the money they owe you? Having a firm idea of what you want will help you steer the conversation if things get out-of-hand.
3. Stay open
Remember when you approach the conversation that it will involve another person who will come to the table with their own set of ideas, emotions, and goals. You must be open to hearing that person and doing your best to empathise with them. If you’re not willing to be open to this person, then you’re not ready for a difficult conversation. Allow yourself some flexibility in your arguments and your goals – a compromise might be the best solution for everyone.
4. Let your emotions out
Do not bottle up your emotions. When you’re having a difficult conversation, it can be tempting to allow anger or frustration to bubble away under the surface until it bursts forth in our words or actions. If, during your talk, you feel a strong emotion, vocalise it to the other person. Saying, “I’m feeling angry”, or, “hearing that makes me sad” can be a powerful way to show honesty and vulnerability, which can help create a safe environment.
5. Follow up
Don’t let a difficult conversation be the last time you speak with a person for weeks. In the days after the talk, reach out to check in and see how they’re feeling about what was said and/or agreed upon. Perhaps they’ve had time to consider things and would like to continue the conversation, or perhaps they’ve got a better handle on their feelings now. Whatever the case, it won’t hurt to check in and say hello.
What’s your best tip for having a difficult conversation? Share it with us in the comments below.