Like-minded couples last longer
They say opposites attract, but it seems that like-minded couples will be happier in the long run.
A recent study from the United States looked at a variety of couples, ranging from those who had just begun their relationship to those who had been together for a long time. The results showed that people who had been together longer were no more similar than those who had only recently met. This contradicts a popular theory that couples become more like each other as time goes on, adapting their opinions, likes and beliefs to those of their partner. What it shows instead is that we are almost immediately drawn to people who are similar to us.
So what does this mean? Essentially, it suggests that the desire to find a like-minded partner is very strong. People would prefer to begin a relationship with someone who shares similar beliefs, rather than trying to adapt your opinions to suit each other. This is particularly true when it comes to attitudes or values that are personally important to each party, such as religion and morality. Couples who have more in common in terms of these issues tend to be happier in the long run.
It shines a new light on the reasons people enter into relationships in the first place. We all know that there needs to be a certain ‘something’, whether it’s physical attraction or shared interests. The fact that the study found both new and long term couples to have comparable levels of similarities suggests that we look for these things right from the start. Even if we don't consciously realise that they are important to us, on a deeper level we are making decisions based around these shared values.
Many people claim that they want a partner who is different to them, who challenges them or who has an opposing world view. This study seems to indicate that this isn’t the case. While you may be happy to have opposing views on relatively insignificant matters (like your favourite pastimes or cuisine), deep down you want someone who mirrors your inner most feelings. These are the things that make you who you are, so it makes sense that you would want a partner who shares them.