Our garden saved our marriage
Ian Wintle from Birkdale, Queensland, 69 in body but not mind, reveals how a garden of compromise has taught him and his wife the importance of a coming together of minds in a long and happy marriage.
“In the few rare moments when I get time to sit under our back patio to relax and enjoy the view of the garden, my mind usually starts to wander, and this is the time my wife Judy dreads. This is where I come up with the ideas of what I can do next in the garden and this means time, money and loss of some lawn area.
Having been married longer than two life sentences for murder (only joking, of course) my wife can read me like a book. She knows ‘The look’ and immediately says “Oh no, not more lawn disappearing”.
My ‘mind garden’ always starts big and grand but always ends in a compromise, and the end result is usually good (and we’re still married).
I am not ashamed that I have a fixation with curves; all my gardens have sweeping curves. This is something I will not compromise on. There is obviously no underlying motive, other than being a mere male – hope that does not sound too sexist, it must be my age.
I am able to picture a new garden in my mind but never put that mind picture onto paper; I just roll out the garden hose (for the curves) collect the rocks and pavers, fire up the cement mixer and go on from there.
My wife and I can disagree with the type of plants to go into the new garden. I have learnt over the past 47 years not to argue, so sometimes she wins, and sometimes I win. At least I have the advantage of knowing where the ‘roundup’ is kept.
Judy came up to me recently and said there was a problem with the back lawn dying. As I cannot tell a lie, I had to tell her that I had poisoned the lawn and it was going to be a new garden. She replied ‘you promised me you would not take away any more lawn,’ well I said ‘sometimes promises are meant to be broken’. She got very angry with me and to this day has still has not forgiven me. Sometimes a man just has to do what a man has to do and suffer the terrible consequences.
All jokes aside, we have ended up with a garden with something to please both of us and hopefully our garden visitors. It’s a garden full of compromises, just like a good relationship should be.”
To find out more about Ian's garden, check out his Facebook page The Giving Garden or his blog SubTropical Queensland Open Garden.