5 pieces of relationship advice you really should ignore
They say that excellent advice from an experienced professional is one of the keys to a long and happy relationship. Unfortunately, there’s a big difference between an “experienced professional” and something that you may have read between the pages of a magazine. When it comes to your relationship, trusting someone who knows your individual situation intimately is key. Disregarding other information can actually end up being for the best. Here are 5 pieces of relationship advice it’s best to ignore.
1. Never go to bed angry
We all get angry and sometimes we fight at night. Often, our fights can be agitated by other factors that make the original argument seem even worse. Tiredness is one of the most common aggravating factors. It makes no sense then to stay up and duel it out when you’re both ready to sleep. It’s much better to hit pause on the argument and resume in the morning when you’re both well rested. You may even find that much of the fight has gone out of the both after a good nights sleep.
2. Marriage counseling will save your marriage
While marriage counseling can be a relationship saver, both couples need to be completely committed to the process for it to work effectively. If one partner has no interest and has been forced to counseling by the other, the process is unlikely to be successful.
3. Be completely transparent about your feelings
Sharing your feelings isn’t so much the issue as the way you phrase how you share your feelings. Sometimes “Sharing your feelings” is code for laying blame and this will only create conflict and hurt. Using sentences like “I’m angry with you”, or “You’ve hurt my feelings” just create defensiveness and hurt. Instead try something like “I’m hurt by what you said and I’d like to understand why you said it and work towards fixing the issue”. You’re much more likely to resolve conflict this way.
4. Once you get married, you can forget about sex
This is a blanket statement that is useful for absolutely no one. All couples and relationships are different and a statement like this does nothing to honour that fact.
5. Your partner should be your soul mate
The problem with the concept of a “soul mate” is that it often implies that relationships don’t take any work and that with the right person everything is simply effortless. A great relationship isn’t effortless and can take work. It’s normal to experience disconnected moments in our relationship. By buying into the soul mate idea, these moments of discontentment can lead us to worry that perhaps we aren’t with our soul mate or that we’ve married the wrong person. Accepting that your mate has become your soul mate over time is the healthiest way to approach this issue.
What’s the best piece of relationship advice you’ve been given? Share it in the comments below.
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