Why talking to kids about diets is bad
Approaching the delicate topic of a child's weight is very tricky. And now research shows that we actually shouldn’t be bringing up the topic at all.
Words like calories, scales and diets should be banished from our vocabulary if we want our family to have a healthy body image.
Instead, focus on the idea of living a healthy lifestyle, as this allows the discussion to remain positive. This can help reduce the likelihood of eating disorders, where the child might focus on dangerous ways to lose weight.
Here’s how to approach the subject with your grandchildren.
Have age appropriate discussions
A teen is more likely to understand the intricacies of weight gain, hormones and peer pressure than a primary school aged child, so you need to keep their age top of mind.
Also the focus for older kids can be about making the best choices outside of the home, as most younger children will have their meals and snacks prepared by their parents.
Explain that we eat certain healthy foods as they make us feel good and are beneficial for our body, rather than labeling certain foods as ‘bad’.
Let them know how much you love them no matter what
Kids need to know that they have our unconditional love. If you see that they are heading down a destructive path around food, try first to build up their self-esteem as this can help them avoid negative self-talk.
Let them know that you want them to be fit and healthy, not a specific number on a scale. You can even suggest trying out some healthy recipes together, or visiting a farmer’s market one weekend to buy fresh produce.
Ditch the “D” word
Kids might come home and announce that they are on a new diet. Often this can mean cutting out whole food groups or severely restricting their calories.
Rather than agreeing to this, ask the child if you can work together on changing the whole family’s eating habits. Chuck out packaged foods and sweets and focus on real, wholesome foods that you can prepare together.
Let them know that you’re on their side but that you won’t support restrictive diets that are not sustainable in the long-term.
Try not to preach
You might have all the answers, but to kids that comes across as being a know it all which never goes down well.
Instead, ask them what they think about the subject, as this is more likely to lead to an open discussion where they don’t feel pressured. For instance you could say ‘how do you think we could help to introduce more healthy options for our lunches?’
This way you get their buy in so they will be more likely to make positive changes to their lifestyle, as it’s their idea not yours.
For younger kids you can focus on how food makes them feel, and what the benefits are of a healthy range of foods. Little ones love the idea of eating broccoli so that they can be big and strong like a superhero for instance.
Let kids be kids
Sometimes the negative behaviours around food are a way for children to deal with emotions or stress that they don’t know how to get rid of. Finding a positive way to let off some steam can really help. For instance getting involved with a team sport, volunteering, or teaching someone a new skill. For the younger ones, it’s about accepting their feelings without trying to stifle the way they feel.
Lead the way with positive behaviour
It’s all well and good to talk the talk, but kids know when you aren’t following through with the behaviours yourself.
If they see you obsessing over calories or see other role models discussing their weight or the latest fad diet, it’s hard for them to make the right choices.
Model the behaviour that you want to see, and if that means the family eats better in the process then that’s only a good thing.
How do you instill a positive message around food with your grandkids? We would love to hear your ideas in the comments.
Related links:
10 factors that influence how you grandparent
7 motivational tactics from grandkids
5 tips for disagreeing grandparents and parents