How you could be hurting your grandchild's future without even knowing
The best part about being a grandparent is undoubtedly the ability to spend quality time with the young ones without all the responsibility that comes with parenthood. Despite this, there is one responsibility we all have when it comes to the children in our lives, and that’s watching what we say.
Any little comment, no matter how well-intentioned, can be taken as a negative and may stay with the child all throughout their development. With this in mind, here are four things you should never say or do in front of them.
1. Making comparisons
As with your own children, you should never compare your grandchildren. One might be more academic or sporty than the other, but they certainly don’t need reminding of it – chances are, they’re already pretty aware that they aren’t excelling at the same pace. If you’re going to praise one child, do it in such a way that doesn’t put the other(s) down. Remind them that book smarts or athletic achievements aren’t the be all and end all, and always help them try to see the best in themselves.
2. Giving them harmful nicknames
What you might think is a cute, innocent, playful nickname could be hurting your grandchild’s feelings without you even realising it. Any nickname or label that might refer to their physical appearance or intelligence level should be avoided, as it could stay with them for years, permanently damaging their self-esteem. And not only could names with negative connotations hurt their confidence, but they can also harm your relationship.
3. Leading by a bad example
Children pick up on every little thing we do and say. They learn so much from us, including how to deal with conflict and navigate difficult relationships. So, if you’ve been known to be a little combative when defending yourself against someone you disagree with, consider the impact this can have on the little one. Do you really want to teach them that physical violence or verbal abuse is the solution to life’s problems?
4. Playing favourites
Just like with your own children, no matter how guilty you might feel, it’s natural to feel closer to one grandchild over the other. However, this doesn’t mean you should treat them any differently to the others – i.e. giving them extra money at Christmas or not punishing them for something you would punish the others for. Such treatment can unsettle the family dynamics, causing one child to think they’re superior while the rest are left wondering, “what about me?”