The new rules of grandparenthood
Today’s grandparents are different to almost all that have come before. You only have to imagine your own grandparents and their role in the lives of their grandchildren to see just how far things have come. Today’s grandparents relish taking a highly active and evolved role in child rearing, as a result, the goalposts have shifted. Here are what we think are the five new rules of grandparenting.
1. Be focused on what matters: Your grandchild (children)
Grandparents should be a part of the developmental process of their grandchildren. Talk, sing, dance, cook and play pretend with them. Engagement in their world is an invaluable part of their development. Be warned, you’ll face some stiff competition from the techie toys and ubiquitous screens but stay the course.
2. Be prepared
While the essence of rearing children has remained the same, the different ways of doing so has changed. New information and research has meant that many practices have become outdated. Familiarise yourself with infant and toddler nutritional information. Consider a child specific first aid and CPR course and speak to your son/daughter/son in law/daughter in law about how they are implementing things like discipline.
3. Be part of the team
They say it takes a village to raise a child – and you are a critical part of it. When and how you interact with your grandchild should never be used to brag or compete with your own children (the child’s parents) or the other grandparents. Enjoy the company of your grandchildren. Let them take the lead and fully commit to being part of the team.
4. Give up control
As you begin to walk down the grandparent path, remember this at all times: You are no longer in charge. Yes you can have an opinion but it is not the one that matters the most. The childrearing responsibilities are not primarily yours. You raise your son or daughter to become an independent, strong and capable member of society. They’ve become that. Let them do their thing and be proud.
5. Boundaries are good
Being a grandparent is a wonderful experience, not the least because you get to hand the kids back! While wanting to be “on call” and as helpful as possible is a natural response, try and remember to set limits and stay in charge of your own life and interests. The goal is never to be taken for granted. Everyone will be much happier and healthier this way.
Related links:
Are the lives of children today too hectic?
Why we shouldn’t praise clever kids and start celebrating effort