My spouse has the first signs of dementia. What do I do?
Marissa Sandler is the CEO and co-founder of Careseekers. Previously a social justice lawyer and researcher for over 15 years, Marissa is passionate about helping people live with dignity and finding innovative solutions to problems.
Some of the very early signs of dementia may be normal signs of ageing, busy lives or mistakes that we can all so easily make. So how do you know when something is a ‘senior’s moment’, distraction, a simple mistake or something more serious? And if it is more serious, many of the symptoms of dementia are also symptoms of other conditions such as depression, stroke, brain tumours, alcoholism or nutritional deficiencies. So how do you know if it is dementia?
Anna’s husband Rob* has dementia, which is getting progressively worse. She remembers when the signs first started. “Rob is significantly older than me and we always used to joke about him having ‘senior’s moment’s when he misplaced things or forgot someone’s name. These moments were increasing but I didn’t get too concerned until there were other signs. He started forgetting where places were, places that were really familiar to him, being disoriented around days and what he was doing at a point in time. He became very anxious if I wasn’t around,” she said.
According to Alzheimer’s Australia, consulting a doctor is critical if someone is displaying the first signs of dementia. A complete medical and psychological assessment may confirm dementia, or identify a different condition. This may result in early treatment of a different condition, or early support for dementia.
Start with your GP
Your spouse’s GP, or if they don’t have one, the family GP is the best starting point. They will be able to make referrals for assessments or to relevant specialists including neurologists.
A person experiencing the symptoms of dementia may be in denial or resistant to finding out what is going on. This may be due to fear, or actually a symptom of the brain related changes caused by dementia that mean the person does not recognise that they are having memory problems.
For these reasons it can be difficult getting a person with dementia to visit a GP.
Tip: Find a reason relating to the person’s physical health to visit the doctor. Either make it about a problem they are willing to acknowledge e.g. headaches or for a general examination to check things like blood pressure.
If the person is feeling anxious about visiting the doctor, be calm. caring and reassuring. The worry of a dementia diagnosis may be a very real fear for them. No doubt you have your own fears around this too. If possible, make sure you have your own supports in place through the diagnostic process.
The medical assessments you can expect
There is no one test to diagnose dementia however a doctor can be 80-90 per cent accurate in their diagnosis if a full assessment is done. Such an assessment may include:
- Blood and urine tests for a variety of illness that may be responsible for the symptoms.
- Neuropsychological tests to identify abilities and problem areas e.g. comprehension, insight, judgment.
- Psychiatric assessment to identify disorders which can mimic dementia e.g. depression, anxiety.
- Other specialised tests including chest x-rays, CT scans, ECGs.
Tip: Include the person being assessed in the diagnostic process – use plain English, always be sensitive to their concerns and always tell the truth.
If it is dementia…
The benefit of an early stage diagnosis is that you can involve the person experiencing the dementia in the decision making and any legal, safety and long term plans that will need to be made.
Get support. The road ahead may be long and challenging emotionally and perhaps physically too. Watching your spouse change and dealing with the fall out from these changes may fall heavily on you. If possible, rely on family and friends for support and to share the load. A service like Careseekers can provide you with affordable in-home assistance, giving you an hour or two of respite or putting in place longer term care if necessary. There are also support groups you can tap into. Visit Alzheimer’s Australia for more information.
* Names have been changed to protect privacy.
Related links:
Nurse or care worker: What do we need?
How to get the best hospital care