Is smacking children OK? Parenting expert speaks out
The issue of smacking is one that continues to sprak fierce debate.
There are those who say hitting a child with an open hand on the buttocks is a reasonable and necessary form of discipline, and there are others who believe smacking is an outdated way of disciplining children.
The current research finds smacking is the least effecting way to discipline children. It also has been linked to an increased likelihood of poor health, social and developmental outcomes.
Parenting expert, Sharon Witt says there are better strategies parents can use when it comes to managing their kids.
“Thirty years ago smacking was the way children were disciplined. But now there are many other ways we can use to guide our children,” she told the Daily Mail.
Here are some other strategies for keeping kid in check that work better than smacking.
Use time outs
The “time out” is not a new disciplinary measure but it works, according to parenting experts.
“Parents have to be mindful that giving a child a smack because you are frustrated is not really teaching them the right thing. In our society we can't really hit someone because we are frustrated with them,” Witt says.
The expert suggests the classic counting to 10 to give the child time to change their behaviour. This allows children to become aware that there are consequences to their bad behaviour – and give parents some breathing space from a heated situation.
“Often when children are crying or screaming they are trying to communicate they are very frustrated and they are not feeling in control,” she said.
“So a parent losing control by giving them a smack is not the right circuit breaker and this is not going to help the situation.”
Give children consequences that work
“Consequences should be immediate as children can't really associate their current behaviour with something that is going to happen in the future,” Witt says.
“Children need consequences to be quite instant and parents need to have some strategies available in the event they need to enforce discipline.
“Consequences might be having time out, or the child is told they're not allowed to watch a favourite show or technology will be taken away.”
Maintain boundaries (and consequences)
“[Parents] need to continue to reinforce boundaries. When children start to really push boundaries around adolescent years, which they will do naturally, parents need to keep boundaries in place to keep them safe, and to show them they are loved and cared for,” Witt states.
“While there will be times when parents may need to loosen tight reins, they also need to remind children that there are boundaries in place and that consequences if they do break those boundaries.”
Witt says that children need to know that there are consequences for their actions but also be allowed to have some choice in those consequences.
“This gives kids a bit of control so they know what the boundaries are. It's about learning to live in a family environment where everyone contributes.
“The best thing we can do is continue to reinforce boundaries and reinforce consequences but doing this in a loving way.”
Talk to others for support
Turning to your community for support and discussing different ways of raising children is a great way to learn about different stratgies to parent.
“If parents don't feel in control, it's really important they seek some assistance themselves,” Witt outlined.
This can be through grandparents, relatives, a counsellor or a support group, as well as making connections with other parents and guardians.
“Chatting to other parents can be really helpful when it comes to learning other strategies. It can be really helpful to find out what other parents are doing and how they handle certain situation.”